Date: Sat, 2 Jun 2012 04:14:41 -0700 (PDT)
From: Tyler Adams <tyleradamsbooks@yahoo.com>
Subject: The Paths We Chose ch 5

Here's the next chapter of the story. I missed posting chapter two when I
uploaded chapters 3 and 4 so in the menu it looks like I skipped a chapter,
but you will see they are all there if you look at the heading on the story
pages.

tyler

As always, consider making a donation to the Archive in order to keep it up
and running.


Chapter 5

     I was having trouble falling asleep. Reliving all those memories I had
of my brother had stirred up feelings of how much I missed him. The prayer
Phil prayed was also bugging me because I kind of figured that the `certain
things' he was talking about had a lot to do with the guy I met in the
hallway this morning. I just don't get what's up with him. This morning in
homeroom he was all ears when he was asking me about that guy. Then just
like that, when I challenged him on it, he acted like it was the worst
thing in the world. He's gonna drive me crazy if he doesn't soon pick a
side and stick with it. Either he's gay or he's straight, and either he's
on God's side or he isn't. I just wish he'd let me know, so I could decide
if we could be friends or not. Something's just not adding up. There's got
to be something he's not telling me.
     After I got done worrying about what Phil had said – or hadn't said
– I started thinking about the guy with those incredible eyes. I
imagined him at my house watching the Jason Jenkins show with me, but then
the thought of me actually having to ask him over him kind of brought me
back to reality.
     Thoughts of what it might be like if I actually had a boyfriend for
real tormented me. I wrestled with the thought of what my classmates would
do if they found out that I was a queer. ...and I'm not sure why, but that
made me think about Phil again. What would he actually do if me and that
guy got together and he found out about it?
     There were so many things to think about. ...So many things to
decide. ...So many choices that I would have to make. I really liked Phil
as a friend, and wondered if I should just forget about having a boyfriend
until I got to college where no one would know me. But what if this guy
truly was boyfriend material? I mean what if he was "the one?" I couldn't
really take that kind of chance could I? I had heard someone say once that
true love only comes around once in a lifetime. What if this is my only
chance?

     I woke up Friday morning determined that even if it cost me Phil's
friendship, I was not going to miss my chance at finding out what it was
like to have someone special in my life. Even though I hadn't slept well, I
woke up five minutes before WQAK's Cecil Jakes and Rhonda Emilio invaded my
room with their brand of crazy humor. The guy at school with the cool brown
eyes was definitely still on my mind. I would search the halls at school
today, and find him. Then once I found him, I'd try to figure out... Oh my
gosh! What if he's waiting at my locker again. I looked at my reflection in
the mirror, opened my mouth and said "hey." Then I stuck out my hand toward
myself and said "Alex Harper." "Du-uh," I scolded myself an instant later,
"he already knows your name." "I don't think I caught your name
yesterday..."
     I was beginning to panic. What would I say to him when I see him? He
seemed so relaxed yesterday; like he'd had a lot of practice. Maybe Phil
would help me come up with something on the bus that's totally cool to say
to the guy. NOT! I can't believe I even thought that. I can't let him
know. He would so hate me if he found out.

     In my mind's eye, I already had a boyfriend – never mind that I had
only met him once. I couldn't wait to get to school and was out front
waiting for the bus ten minutes before it arrived. What if he wanted to
kiss me, right there in front of my locker, when I told him that I was
interested in us getting together sometime?
     When Phil got to our bus seat, he immediately smiled at me. "Dude,
what's up, you look different?"
     I wrinkled my brow a bit as if to ask `how so.'
     "Like, you're smiling and it's only seven-thirty."
     I hadn't really thought about it, but I guess I was pretty out of it
almost every morning we rode the bus together. Usually he had to loosen me
up with some sort of a joke or a poke in the ribs if he wanted to see me
smile.
     "We're goin' to the park after school today, right" he continued.
      "I guess so."
      "Excellent" Phil shot back as he held out his fist. My mom's picking
me up early to take me to the orthodontist, so I'll meet you there as soon
as I get finished.
      "We need to try that 360 flip again, Phil, I'm feelin' mighty fine
today."
      "Yeah, well you'd better make up a bunch of signs then, and post them
all over the park: `Warning: flying skateboard. Enter at your own risk.'"
      We both broke out laughing. Gosh it felt good to just laugh for a
change and not be weighed down by fear or anxiety. The last time I felt
this good was at Daryl's seventeenth birthday party. It had been a long
time.
     "Thanks for askin' about Daryl yesterday. It's like everyone else just
figures that I'll forget about him if they don't ever mention his name. I
miss him a lot."
     Phil's blushing when I said that kind of took me by surprise, but he
shrugged his shoulders slightly, then gave me a playful punch to my upper
arm without saying a word.
     When I got to my locker, I zoned out on Phil and busied myself digging
around in the rubble inside, like I was looking for something important,
until he had gone on without me. I was so sure
Mr. No-name-With-the-Golden-Eyes would show up again today and ask me if I
wanted to get together. When I heard the warning tone sound, and hadn't
seen him, I dejectedly made my way to Homeroom and took my seat. Phil
stared at me like he knew what I had been up to, and I got this uneasy,
almost guilty feeling inside me because of it. He better not've been
praying for that guy to stay away from me, was all I could think. I looked
at him out of the corner of my eyes and saw him shrug his shoulders and
then rearrange the stack of books that were on the table in front of him.

     First period class was a lecture on pre-World War I Germany – or
Prussia – or something. It was the perfect set-up for fifty minutes of
daydreaming, and my mind started out by thinking about how Phil must have
prayed that guy away. I was getting myself pretty mad at him for
interfering in my life like he knew what was best. Then I started thinking
about him. I didn't intend to daydream about him for the entire period, but
before I knew it I realized that the sound I was hearing was the tone
signaling the end of the class. I picked up my books, and rushed for the
door, hoping I might catch a glimpse of the guy with the golden eyes
between classes.
     I had to go past my locker on my way to second period class, so I had
planned to stop there, drop off my history book, and pick up my Lit. and
Bio. books. When I got there, I saw a folded piece of paper with my name on
it sticking in the vent.  I pulled it out and unfolded it.

     alex,
      if you thought about what I told you n want to get together sometime,
call me.
     : p
     casey
     ps: i'm the guy who talked to you at your locker yesterday

      The note ended with his phone number written in red hot ink.
      Oh my lucky stars! Casey! He had a name! ...and he hadn't forgotten
about me.
      No way!
      Yes way!
      All I could think about were those eyes!
      I remember how his eyes sucked the breath out of me – how when he
checked me out from head to toe while I stood there in the hallway
yesterday, those beautiful eyes had shouted "Hello, I want you!"
     I picked my cell phone out of my locker and started punching Casey's
name and number into my contacts as I walked. My head was dizzy with
thinking about getting together with him. I reread his note several times
to see if I had missed anything. It seemed a little bit strange to be so
excited about getting together with someone I didn't even know, but he was
like me. I never had anyone I could talk to who actually understood what it
was like to think about guys all the time. I was sure we'd become very good
friends.
     The tone, signaling that second period class was beginning, broke into
my daydream and I had no idea where I was or where I was going. When I
finally figured out that I was supposed to be heading for Lit. Class, I
realized that I had walked down the wrong hallway. Turning, I sprinted to
where I was supposed to be, and ducked into class, out of breath, just as
attendance was being taken. Ms. Cassel gave me an icy glare as I took my
seat.

     Even though I looked for Casey between all my classes, and several
times during lunch I couldn't find him until before last period. He was
just about to walk into the library when I yelled "Casey" from twenty feet
away, like a ten year old would have yelled to his mom from on top of the
Ferris wheel at the fair.
     He looked to see who was calling. When he saw it was me, his face
melted into a huge smile and he waited for me to catch up to him.
     "So, Alex, you get my note?" he asked as his iridescent, hazel eyes
gazed at me through his gorgeous eyelashes.
     Blood was pounding in my ears, and my face was beginning to heat up. A
squeaky "Yeah" was all that would come out of my mouth at first, then
trying not to sound too anxious I asked him "You like... still want to get
together some time?"
     "Du-uh," he said as his eyes locked on mine. "I have to help in the
Library this period, so I can't talk now. Call me after school, `kay?"
      I couldn't believe my luck! I had a last period study hall so all I
needed to do was get a pass to go to the library to do a little "research."
     "Excellent! I have Study Hall" I blurted out, "I'll get a pass and see
you in a few."
     As soon as attendance was taken, I got in line to get a library pass
from the monitor. I never realized before now how slow Mrs. Hershey is at
writing. And she's so anal about getting everything perfect too. She tore
up Shantee Rodriguez' pass twice just because the first time she end
"Shantee" with an "ay," and then she ended Rodriguez with an "s" because
that's how Shantee pronounces her name. For crying out loud, they're just
going to throw the stupid pass in the trash can when she gets
there. Finally it was my turn. Mrs. Hershey spelled Alex Harper right on
the first try, and I rode a carpet of air down the hallway. It took all of
two seconds after walking through the doorway, to lay my eyes on the prize
I had been seeking.
     It's amazing how feeling wanted by someone alters your view of
things. Casey was up on a ladder reaching over as far as he could reach,
putting books away and I could see his pudgy stomach hanging out over his
belt. Normally, seeing hard abs on a guy is one of the first things to
seriously get my attention, but here I am thinking his soft belly looked
just fine.
     I grabbed a newspaper from the rack and took a seat where I could
watch Casey as he worked. I made sure to check out plenty of girls too,
just in case anyone was watching me, but it was hard to keep my eyes off of
Casey, especially since he kept looking at me and teasing me by licking his
lips.
     With the end of the period nearing, and having not gotten to say a
word to him, my heart began racing as I watched Casey look straight at me,
and then write something on a piece of paper. As soon as he was finished
writing, he folded the paper in half, stuck it in a book, and made straight
for the table where I was sitting.
     "Here's the book you were looking for" he said as he laid a
dilapidated copy of Gulliver's Travels on the table in front of me,
"accidentally" rubbing against my arm in the process, and then heading back
to the desk. I was all shaky and trembling inside as I nervously opened the
book to where the note was, and unfolded it.
     "P N 5"
     What's that supposed to mean. I tried to get Casey attention to let
him know that I didn't understand what he had written, but he didn't look
at me until about five minutes later. That's when he showed me the bathroom
pass that he was carrying and nodded his head toward the door.
     Anxiety suddenly overtook me as I realized that "P N 5" meant for me
to go to the bathroom in five minutes. I was breathless as I hung my
newspaper back on the paper rack, and headed to the desk to get a lavatory
pass.
     Casey was standing inside the door waiting for me. Unfortunately,
another guy was occupying one of the stalls so we couldn't really talk.
     "You skateboard, don't you?" he asked.
     "Yeah," I answered, wondering if maybe he skateboarded too.
     "You ever go to that park, where they built all those ramps?"
     "I'm going there after school today to meet another guy from
school. You want to go too?"
     "Naw, I'm not really into that, but you think you could lose him for a
little while?"
     "I guess so" I said, not sure what he had in mind.
     "I'll drop you a note before I leave the library."
     I sat nervously waiting for the rest of the period until, just before
the tone sounded, Casey again walked past me, dropping another note on the
table in front of me.