Date: Wed, 20 Feb 2013 23:04:05 -0800 (PST)
From: Boris Chen <borischen@rocketmail.com>
Subject: The Reluctant Gay, chap 5

The Reluctant Gay, by Boris Chen

Chapter 5, My Double Life

My senior year of high school was like the others. I still lived my secret
double life. I was still a little freaked out by the sudden disappearance
of my two previous bf's. Starting to wonder if it's me or a curse or
what. It was eating away at my soul.

I started being friends with this one girl I've known since 6th grade. Her
name is Sandra. We're just friends. We've gone out on a few dates followed
by a simple peck on the lips kiss. We talked about going to prom but I told
her I really had little desire to go to prom even if I got invited by the
most beautiful woman in the world. Sandra knows she's not a big
catch. She's a bit overweight, rather short, and not the nicest looking
girl in the world but she's a really nice friend. I always liked her, as a
friend. We pal around sometimes on the weekend and go out on little dates
for dinner and stuff and occasionally hold hands but that's it really.

I've checked the rumor mill at school, everyone that knows us knows we're
just long time friends, that's it. I pray she's not deluding herself into
thinking we will ever be anything more than just friends and buddies, never
with benefits or anything else.

I suppose if she asked really nice I might fuck her. Perhaps we should have
that discussion sometime.

I still have my job at the pizza place. Despite where I work I still want
delivery pizza on occasion.

It was Thanksgiving school break, Sandra and I decided to see a movie at
the mall. She drove us in her mom's car.

After the movie we sat in the car in the parking lot and talked while we
finished our popcorn and huge pop cups. It was a great conversation.

It was getting near 11:45pm when I asked about heading for home. I almost
told her about my sexuality but she changed the subject too fast and I got
scared so I stopped.

Even for late November it was still kinda nice outside. Clear skies 65
degrees with almost no wind to speak of. We were in shirts and jeans having
a nice time. Finally we started talking about dating and stuff again, she
asked if I ever regretted not getting more serious with her. I decided this
was the time to lay my cards on the table.

M: "Sandra, you know I love you right?"

S: "Mark, I love you too honey."

M: "Can I ask you something really personal about us and me?"

S: "Always. It's always okay to speak your piece. What's up, you sound
serious?"

M: "Look there is something I don't tell too many people, it's a private
matter, this needs to stay just between the two of us, is that okay with
you?"

S: "Mark, if you're about to tell me you're gay then you need to get
another secret dear, I've known that since 6th grade. Your secret is still
safe with me."

I leaned over putting my arms around her and held her with the warmest
loving embrace I could muster.

Stuff happened so fast in a few minutes she had her top and bra off, my
shirt off, my pants open and my dick in her mouth. It happened so quickly
and so effortlessly I had no idea. She sat on the floor in front of the
front passenger seat, I had the seat all the way back and halfway reclined
to the back seats. She was inspecting my erection as if she never saw one
before or never had the chance to check one out close-up before. This went
on for a while. She seemed fascinated with my tool. I'll betcha I let her
examine my woody for nearly a half hour un-interrupted. I mean how much
time does it take a girl to examine your dick?

Sandra sucked me poorly, for about ten minutes. Then she sat up took my
hands placing them on her breasts then moved her hands back to my crotch
and massaged my boner.

S: "Maybe you're not as gay as you think Mark."

M: "Maybe so, but it's never going away. Anytime I'll have sex with a woman
I'd always be wishing it was with a guy."

S: "You ever do it with any of the boys at school?"

M: "Uh huh." I said nodding yes.

S: "Care to mention any?"

M: " Nope. I never kiss and tell, you know that about me."

S: "Gotta respect that I guess." She said as she was slowly hand jerking my
boner poorly. I think she was mostly studying my dick, might have been her
first close-up look at a boner.

We were staring into each other's eyes with a look that transcended the
years and really came down to mutual respect and fundamental love for each
other. She was one my my longest lasting friendships that always went
beyond normal relationship hassles. I think we always held each other in a
special status always making allowances for each other's shortcomings and
mistakes. That's why our friendship lasted so long. I could easily see us
being good friends 30 years from now too.

One thing lead to another and to another and another. We were still in her
mom's car in the darkest part of the mall lot. It took some work but she
managed to get her pants off and sat on my lap taking my boner in her pussy
and allowed me to come in her. Her tits were in my face as we sat in the
front passenger seat. I sucked on her large flat nipples on her D-cup
breasts. She had pencil diameter teats in the middle of her nipples which
really stuck out when she got horny. She teased my lips with them. We got
the giggles after I came. She pressed her tits into my face repeatedly
wanting me to nurse on her breasts. Eventually I lost my boner and slipped
out of her pussy.

We told each other we loved each other and promised to stay in touch over
the years and always remember this night and cherish the memory of this
special moment. This was the only time in our lives we ever had sex but the
memory outlasted most others over the years.

This was the first time I had sex with a woman, but it would not be the
last.

-+-

In January at the pizza parlor where I work one night When I was working
the carry-out counter I had this one young guy come in, after ordering he
made a slight pass at me. Then he gave me his email. He looked a few years
older but otherwise he was cute and skinny. He was smooth and had a really
hot smile and a great butt. He had these thick wide eyebrows that gave him
a constant look of surprise and brilliant blue eyes that pulled me in.

He had a weird speech thing going on and I noticed he also wore hearing
aids in both ears. I wrote my first name and email on his carry-out
box. Turns out we were both on AOL. He said he was a freshman at Southwest
Medical Center, Texas State Univ. in Dallas, he was pre-med.

I heard from him three days later. Over the next month we got to know each
other better. We emailed dozens of times a day talking about everything
from school to sex and politics.

He said his name was Josh Johnson. He was pre-med, mostly deaf and
originally from Stonewall, Texas. We talked by email and AOL chat rooms for
weeks getting to know each other. We chatted on the phone a few times too
but he was long distance.

Then around February 15th he asked me if I wanted to go to huge gay party
in Palm Springs with him on March 1st to the 3rd. I said I have no idea
where Palm Springs was and besides I had no money for a vacation to
anywhere except my own bedroom.

He said he would pay for everything. Palm Springs was a city in the desert
two hours east of Los Angeles, it had a moderate gay population. And it had
lots of elderly folks who were Hollywood people in the 1950's and earlier.

I asked him when we'd leave, how we'd get there and where we'd stay, and
how much money I would need anyway. He said he would pay for everything. I
told him I wasn't eighteen yet but I was weeks away. He said he had a VIP
pass and nobody would card me, not to worry. We would fly from Dallas to
Palm Springs and back and stay at a private clothing-optional hotel, site
of the party. It lasted all weekend, Friday to Sunday.

I said I would speak to my parents.

I approached my mom. She wanted to know who was asking, I told her Josh's
name. She said she would run it past my father. Two days later she said he
wanted to know Josh's parents names and address. So I passed that along the
info went back and forth. John and Luci Johnson of Stonewall Texas. My dad
told mom it was okay for me to go. Not sure what all that meant but what
the heck.

March first rolled around just before my 18th birthday, we met at DFW at
the check-in for United Airlines. He said to bring one change of clothes
and a swim suit, nothing more. I put them into a simple paper grocery bag
and met him as planned. We checked-in. They checked my ID and handed us two
boarding passes. This would be my first time on an airplane but Josh didn't
know.

We boarded at the same time sitting side by side in first class. Not bad
for a first ever time on an airplane. The airline people never spoke to me
but called him Mr Johnson.

It took us two hours to get to Palm Springs on this smaller jet, less than
50 passengers. We took a taxi to the hotel, which looked more like a
fortress than any hotel I'd ever seen before. Josh said it was because the
place was clothing optional. Then it all made sense.

He had everything arranged. The staff all called him Mr. Johnson. It was
all weirdly formal but I went along.

We got to our room, took showers then got into swimming suits to sit by the
pool. He said he had to take his hearing aids out because of the water,
that I had to look directly at him to speak and talk at a normal speed and
I didn't need to yell or anything. He also said we could use paper and pen
if talking became a problem.

We sat by the pool. The place was packed with hot looking guys. About half
of them weren't wearing any clothes. There was a hot tub and two heated
pools in the central courtyard with lots of loungers around the
pools. Looks like we were lucky to get two of them, so we laid out our
towels to keep them reserved.

After a while I got in the pool to cool off from the hot dry Palm Springs
heat. Soon after Josh joined me and started massaging my back, shoulders
and upper arms. It was really turning me on.

I got a chance to check out his body too. He was skinny as a board, chest
about flat too. He had a little lump for a belly button and smallish oval
nipples, not much of a tan. But he had a really nice face. Hard to guess he
was very deaf by just looking at him. My guess is he was born that
way. Maybe fifteen minutes after we got in the pool someone started
yelling, "Josh Johnson, Josh Johnson" near the office door. I waved at
them, one of the office guys walked over asking if we wanted the delivery
food at the pool, I said yes. Then these guys with a cart arrived to set up
a table by our chairs and set down about ten pizza boxes and a case of ten
two-liter bottles of coke and a stack of cups with a bucket of ice.

Josh announced to everyone in the pool that pizza was on us and everyone
swarmed the boxes. They were all the same, cheese and pepperoni thin crust
pizza. I had some handed to us in the pool. Everyone around us ate. Within
ten minutes half the stack was gone, same as the pop. I got my third slice
as the last box disappeared into the trash. Everyone loved Josh for that
but few noticed he was basically stone deaf. He just smiled and waved a lot
and said 'you're welcome' to everyone that got his attention. Nobody was
the wiser.

Standing there in the deep end of the pool he taught me how to sign 'pizza'
and 'thank you.'

While the pizzas were disappearing we swam laps in the small oval pool,
there were about a dozen guys in the water with us, two on floating
cushions, the rest hanging along the pool sides. During our time in the
water we watched the pizzas disappear and the hotel staff try to keep it
from becoming a widespread mess as empty pizza boxes got tossed aside. They
resisted the temptation to glare at Josh.

More than two older guys grabbed me after Josh and I joined the nude
majority in the pool. We shed our suits tossing them onto the loungers by
the pizza cart. I saw two blow jobs in progress at poolside, so just as an
experiment I pushed myself up onto the poolside by the foot of our
loungers. Without asking, different guys came by gently grasping my hard-on
and asking me my name and age, I always lied telling them I was 21.

There seemed to be an unwritten rule about your availability sitting like I
was. One guy who looked to be in his 60's, overweight and almost totally
bald came by was the first to take my dick in his mouth without asking. He
never tried to make me cum but it was interesting to see how many other
guys came by just to watch from close-up. Almost any couple actively
working in this place drew a small crowd. This was the first time in my
life that I exposed myself with a hard-on in public and let a stranger do
me. It was kinda neat. This older guy worked me for about ten minutes but
my dick just wouldn't get into FIRE mode but it did feel great.

The lower the sun got the more excited and loud this place got. Guys
streamed in the complex from the office. The music started around sunset.

After the old guy got tired and left, Josh came by standing next to my leg,
both of us facing into the pool, me on the edge, him standing on the bottom
with his arm over my leg and my boner in his hand just toying with it and
even shaking my boner at guys swimming past. The previous crowd had
dispersed after the old guy left. We didn't speak.

About the same time as the outdoor lights came on this younger guy swam up
by Josh and me, he was nude like us. He was very muscular with a shaved
head. At first he stood by my other leg across from Josh. He moved his arm
over to share the grip with Josh on my boner. Josh released his grip and
turned to watch while the bald guy turned to between my knees and went down
on my dick. Then another group of on-lookers collected around and behind
me.

One guy got on his knees behind me rubbing his boner up and down into my
back while two other dudes toyed with my balls and nipples while this other
bald dude sucked my dick. Some guy came up from behind the bald guy, it
looked like he slipped his rod into him from behind, so my suck-ee was
getting boned as well.

Now there were three guys on the walkway around me outside the pool trying
to get into the action offering their dicks in and around the area in front
of my chest. Josh was by my side to my left taking in the sights, massaging
my thigh and stomach while trying to manipulate the speed of the guy
sucking my dick. We watched each other staring into our eyes sort of
ignoring the rest of the group which was now around fifteen guys I think.

When I felt my orgasm nearing I pulled his head off my dick while Josh
aimed me towards the sky. By now, there were about five dicks in and around
me all being stroked, I was the first to cum. It shot straight up with most
of it landing in my lap, a little in my face and on my chest. Then the
following shots of mine landed on my stomach.

Other guys around us soon followed. Within 45 seconds I think there were
about seven orgasms jizzed onto me, on my legs, back, chest, stomach, and
arms. I had never seen so much cream in one place before in my life. It was
the hottest sixty seconds of my seventeen, almost eighteen years so
far. Josh was beaming with pride, still remaining mostly silent but you
could read the joy on his face.

Someone tossed me a towel to wipe off. One guy started licking off my
nipples while I toweled off my back. I paused to let him do his thing. I
never lost my erection.

Josh made a hand gesture to the guy that tossed me the towel. He looked
like a swimming pool life guard type, early 20's blond tight muscular upper
body, outy, large flat tits painted on his large chest muscle mounds. He
helped me to standing, identified himself as Jason, a hotel employee. He
was wearing only a speedo, and took my arm escorting me to our hotel
room. He opened our door with a pass card helping me into the shower and
came-in with me.

Jason pressed me gently to the wall of the shower then proceeded to wash
all the cum residue off my entire body. Guess I grossly underestimated how
much semen was still stuck in my hair and on my back and upper arms.

By the time he was done scrubbing me to my feet we were both erect. He
looked to be only maybe five inches long but his muscles sort of took your
mind away from him being on the short but thick side. When the shower was
done, he got back to his knees and sucked me off in the shower, which felt
a whole lot better.

We returned to the pool, me in a new swim suit from our room. Jason nodded
to Josh and left. Made my wonder how many of these staffers were hanging
around un-identified. But it was weird that when needed there was always
one nearby. Hmmmm.

Josh and I returned to our side by side loungers to work on our sign
language tutoring and taking a few more sips of our cold red wine. Funny
how nobody touched our stuff while all this was going on. I suspected more
invisible staff were involved. I had this brief vision of a third of the
people on the plane now being around us at the pool but I knew it wasn't
possible. Was it?

The music started by a DJ about 6pm, the hotel was rocking with crowds
dancing everywhere, most with only shorts on. Few people wore shirts. The
place was rather dark. I estimated there were about 400 guys dancing or
watching from around the pools. We tried to wander the entire complex but
it was way too crowded.

By 1am I was beat and dead tired, Josh looked drained too. The show was
just ending, people were leaving for other nearby hotels. We got to our
room. There was sleeping attire on the bed for two and breath mints, plus
the bathroom was entirely ready for a shower with everything we would need,
all disposable. This place thought of everything. I started to wonder what
all this service was costing and who was paying.

After our late night shower Josh put his hearing aids back in so we could
talk again. I asked him about the cost. He said his parents business was
paying the tab, not to worry at all, no strings attached.

We talked about school and life and dating and stuff. He said he was a ¾
time student in pre-med but not totally sure about his major yet, that he
may change his major to law but wasn't sure. He was a freshman in college
and had a long way to go.

We were asleep within a half hour and never fucked or did anything that
night.

-+-

The next morning we both woke up around 10am and took another shower then
got into our swimsuits and headed for the pool side again. We saw many of
the same guys as last night, our recliners were reserved and nobody made a
fuss. I think buying the entire place dinner last night was a good idea
after all.

This morning, same thing happened. We got called from the office and in
came another large cart loaded with to-go food containers. It was a
breakfast from a caterer. There were breakfast sandwiches, bacon, sausages,
gallons of coffee, scrambled eggs by the pound. We ate at our leisure and
everyone else in the vicinity did too, all total strangers to me and Josh
but we made instant friends with the entire crowd ensuring our pool chairs
would be protected the rest of the day.

We mostly lounged around in the sun tanning and massaging each other. I
noticed an increasing number of nude guys in the pool and on the
grounds. While we were talking Josh was working his dick by hand so I did
the same. Some guy came over to me, moved my hand away and started working
my boner by himself, same thing happened to Josh. We had no idea who these
twenty-something year old guys were but it seemed there was a lot of it
going on.

I was starting to get plenty horny. Josh reached over holding my hand and
before too much longer I came in this guys mouth who had been working my
dick for the past twenty minutes or so, then he did the same too into his
friends mouth. Then we went to the pool.



By noon I was needing a break from the sun so we moved to the hot tub area
where there was a canopy overhead shading a large area on one side of this
in-ground hot tub that was large enough for about a dozen guys to fit
inside in seats and maybe two or three in the middle. The hot tub was
actually really close to our room's door so we abandoned our recliners by
the other pool and made this our new home. Around 2pm the music started
again, the place lit up like last night with dancing and people rubbing and
fucking everywhere. The DJ stuck with disco type tunes but the main sound
system was in another courtyard of the hotel complex.

By 4pm Josh and I were both nude talking about dinner. He motioned for
someone from the hotel property to come over. He wrote down what to order
for dinner and for later on. The man left, I noticed he had a really nice
butt as he walked away in a swimsuit that fully exposed his ass except for
a tiny string between his cheeks.

Around 7pm the place was really starting to get busy and loud, same as last
night really. Dancing everywhere, fucking everywhere, lube everywhere,
fantastic naked shiny guys all over the place. If I had been there by
myself I certainly would have gone walking just to pinch, grope and handle
as many bodies as I could. It seemed to be the behavior of the
night. Nobody was out of bounds for a passing grope, a goose, nipple rub or
pinch, or ass pat.

I had a boner most of the evening.

Shortly after 7pm our dinner arrived. We got pasta, garlic bread, salad,
and two bottles of wine. We also had a keg of beer delivered and a huge
stack of cups and let anyone have some that wanted some Coor's on
tap. Again, we were the favorites of the evening. There were no fights or
other problems. It was a lively but well behaved crowd. We were both duly
impressed. Around 10pm I asked Josh if he wanted to get in the tub since
most of it's occupants had moved elsewhere to dance the tub was almost
empty.

We got in and took off our trunks. We were both hard. I slipped over on his
lap facing him. Josh sucked my tits while I slipped gently down onto his
boner and bounced up and down on his lap until he came inside me. Then
after sucking face for a while we reversed roles, he got on my lap and we
repeated the process. After we both came we opened the 2nd bottle of wine
and poured some plastic wine glasses and finished off that one a little
slower than the first.

Around midnight I went down on him a few times under water. He really had a
nice dick for sucking on, just the right size. So he climbed up sitting on
the walkway with his legs in the tub so I gave him head with about thirty
guys watching and cheering us on. Josh came in my mouth, I turned to face
the crowd and swallowed the whole thing to the roaring approval of the
drunk audience.

Yes and by now that keg of beer had been empty for quite a while.

2am we went to bed after showers. Josh tossed my clothes just out the room
door and by morning they were gone. But they were returned laundered and
folded by 11am the next day.

-+-

We repeated the same performance for breakfast, buying for everyone making
the hot tub area home. We had our same chairs under the canopy. We moved
back and forth between the hot tub and our loungers.

At 2pm the music re-started at a lower level, like yesterday. The place
started to fill up. This was the last day of the event. This time we went
near the stage and danced with the rest of the guys in our swim suits
rubbing and hugging and kissing the whole time. It was very sexual, very
dirty dancing. I loved it.

Same thing for lunch and dinner as last time. We opted for burgers and
fries for lunch. He had In & Out cater, we had about 200 burgers and 200
orders of fries and coke in a keg delivered the the nearby crowd. Josh was
unanimously nominated for sainthood on Sunday by popular proclamation!

I think the hotel property was more than a little bothered by all the
garbage our food parties were creating but the room we had was one of the
most expensive with two rooms and 24 hour service just a phone call away,
which he took full advantage of. Josh seemed to know concierge service
really well. I think the glass bottles were also a rules violation.

Sunday evening we did the pizza thing again but we had more Italian instead
of pizza. Plus we got another keg of Coors and two bottles of wine
again. We got to bed around midnight, our earliest night.

The next morning we were up and showered by 10am I got my clean clothes on,
we took a taxi to a place that looked like it was originally a Denny's or
Sambo's years ago. We had a great breakfast then took another cab to the
airport. By 1pm we were in the air and by 3pm we were back at DFW calling
for a ride.

This time we were in home territory, he had a limo take us home. He went
back to campus housing I took the limo home. My parents were shocked that I
was dropped off at the front door in a black stretch limo.

Mom had handed me a print out, what dad found out about Josh's family. I
was sort of expecting bad news but it wasn't exactly.

Seems his parents are part owners of a Texas oil company, sort of a 'JR
Ewing' family. Lots of money too. His great grandfather was the former
president of the USA after John Kennedy in the early 60's. LBJ was his
maternal great grandfather, but they kept the family name. Now it all made
sense.

I didn't care about any of it, I liked Josh, he liked me and we really hit
it off and planned on seeing each other more often.

I never told anyone except Sandra at school about my weekend because I was
underage and didn't want any trouble for me or Josh. I wasn't that far from
being 18 anyway.



Next time we met I asked him more about his hearing. He said when he was a
little kid he caught meningitis which left him about 85% deaf and had a
hard time walking. I hated to admit it but I never really watched him walk
closely because my eyes usually got stuck watching his ass and never made
it down to his legs or feet!

It was getting close to end of the semester testing for me so I told Josh I
needed time off, which he was cool with. His semesters were very different
from mine. His were two per semester, mine were three per semester.

By early March testing was over, we sort of coasted the rest of the way
through the school year. We got together about twice a month but homework
and studying limited our times together. We were both focusing on getting
the best grades possible for the rest of the semester. He would drive over
and spend a few hours with me in my bedroom. Often we never did anything
really just talking and kissing a few times. I was really starting to love
him. He was teaching me sign language.

Outside of Palm Springs he was just plain old Josh, struggling pre-med
student and my boyfriend. Around May 1st I came out to my parents, which
went over badly. My dad refused to speak to me for about two months but mom
stayed by my side. I was afraid they might undermine my school funding but
that never happened. Even Stain stopped talking to me for a while. I was
surprised that they never figured me out years ago.

By late May we both finished our semesters. I graduated from high school
and Josh enrolled in his 2nd year of pre-med in Dallas. We discussed
college plans more, he told me he could easily change to West Texas A&M for
the rest of pre-med because they had a med school there as well. His
parents wouldn't like him switching schools since both of them attended the
school in Dallas. Josh said it would take weeks of talk with his folks to
persuade them to let him change schools. He was certain he could pull it
off.



This went from good to better over the summer, we both managed to get into
WTAMU and agreed to share an apartment instead of living in the dorms. At
least this way we could control expenses. I got student loans and my
parents helped pay my tuition.

Turns out Josh's plan to share expenses meant he paid for most of
everything and I sucked his dick a few more times a month as payment. He
said his parents company was paying the bill. They had no choice but to pay
100% anyway.

And so it started.

On September 1st I bought a used car, cheap. $800 of my college savings. We
drove separately to the Texas panhandle to our new apartment near
campus. It was neat and scary at the same time. As I drove off from the
house I looked in the mirror to see Stain in the street waving bye, he was
the only one acting like he might really miss me.

At the time I drove away I actually think he was the only person in the
family that noticed I just moved away. Pete really wasn't a bad kid, just
always so damned immature. I had to change my thoughts to Josh because I
might otherwise accidentally think something nice about the kid called
Stain.

The trip to WTA&M is where the next chapter goes.


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