Date: Thu, 28 May 2015 07:11:46 +0000
From: kuragari 129 <kuragari129@hotmail.com>
Subject: Those Nights of My Life - Chapter 4

Those Nights of my Life

	This story belongs under the pen name Kuragari129. Posting this
story on another site on the internet must be done with my permission. The
events of this story are inspired by Skillet's song `Those Nights' but
remain completely fictional. Any similarities to life events you've
experienced are completely coincidental.

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	This chapter contains content that may not be suitable for all
audiences. If you at all have experienced situations like the ones in this
chapter, please tell someone who can help you.

	I think that's all I'm going to say for this chapter. It gets
pretty serious towards the end. I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter four – Those Nights Kept me Alive

	Welcome to part four of my tale. As you begin reading this,
remember you're at the halfway point right now. It's just a small six
chapter series after all.

	Now with my little adventure with Kade, seriousness roamed through
the house. Mom and dad gave me many rules I had to follow. The worst of
which was I was not allowed out after 8pm without my parents being with
me. It fucking sucked.

	My parent's fights grew worse and worse. I would continue to hide
in Ben's room. Sometimes we shared his bed, most of the time he ended up on
the floor. I kind of hog the bed... even to this day.

	Every morning we would get woken up by one of my parents opening
the door to see if I were in the room. It was quite annoying actually.

	Soon the fights my parents had brought my name up. My dad would
blame my 'bitch' mother, saying it's her fault that they fight and that I
run away. Mom always tried to change the topic back to the original. She
usually failed.

	One fight got so bad that Elsa quickly got herself into Ben's
room. She came up and sat on his bed beside me and pulled me in. "You doing
okay Save?"

	"I want out of this house..."

	She sighed. "I know how you feel Save. I wish I could bring you
anywhere but here." Oh, I forgot to mention, I wasn't allowed having
friends over either.
	Elsa stayed in the room rubbing my back long after the fight
ended. She didn't stop until I had calmed down. She's an awesome sister
like that.

	It was about 7pm when mom went out, the fight long over. Dad had
obviously had a few drinks; you could see a few cans on the ground around
him.

	After grabbing a drink from the kitchen, I went to return to my
room when Dad called me into the living room. "Come watch this game with me
buddy."

	I stood there not knowing what to say. "I have... homework I need
to do."

	"Naaahh, you can do that later. Come watch some football!" My dad
got hyped up for the sport.
	"I really need to go... I have a proje..."

	Dad cut me off. "If you don't sit down and watch this game with me
you'll be in trouble!" He threw another can on the ground. I got scared, I
didn't want to stay there but if I were to run away it would only get
worse.

	He got up and walked over to me. "Dad my project is due..." I held
on tightly to Ben's iPod. It was comforting.

	Dad noticed. "iPod and headphones now!" Again I froze in
fear. "Xavier now!" I took a step back. Dad matched my step. Soon I was
against the wall, shaking in fear.

	He went to grab for the iPod when there was a booming voice
throughout the house. "BACK OFF!" I flinched. River quickly moved between
dad and I. "He doesn't want to watch your stupid game, leave him alone."

	"This doesn't concern you River," Dad spoke blandly.

	"Yes it does, Xavier is my baby brother. When he needs protection,
I will protect him." He softly grabbed my wrist. "Save, come with me." He
turned to walk away; I followed him.

	"Come back here or you're grounded!" Dad screamed.

	River stopped and turned around. "You've already made Save's life a
living fucking hell. If you think I'm going to listen to a drunk man saying
I'm grounded you have another thing coming!!" We continued down into the
basement, River's room. Far away from everyone and everything.

	Once we got downstairs, River let my hand go. "Thank you, River."
He just smiled and turned on a movie. I stayed with him, falling asleep on
the couch that was down in his room.
	I don't remember much about what happened the next few days. I do
however remember the following weekend. My brother's best friend, Chandler,
was sleeping over. In fact he was sleeping over for the entire weekend, his
parents had gone out of town.

	"Dude you guy's house is sick!" He gleamed as he looked around the
house. He had a thing for architectural stuff. Our house was apparently
pretty cool to him; all I saw were prison walls.

	"It's okay, I guess," Ben said after Chandler went on a rant about
things I still don't understand. Chandler builds houses now like that
wasn't obvious.

	Chandler continued his examination as we made it up to Ben's
room. "So this is my room."

	"You two don't share a room?" We shook our head. "Oh, I just
figured since you were twins you'd share a room."

	Ben laughed. "We get that a lot." It's true, we really did. "Save's
room is down the hall next to my parents room. River's is in the basement,
and Elsa's is off the living room."

	"Cool." We all made our way into Ben's room and hung out for a
bit. To be factual, we hung out till dinner. After dinner, I went to my own
room while they retired to Ben's room.

	I fell asleep around ten that night; it was a long day for me. I
was awoken to my parents fighting in their room adjacent to mine. I quickly
looked for Ben's headphones and iPod; they had been left in Ben's room.

	Making my way down to Ben's room was the quick part. The hard part
was figuring out who was who in the dark. They both had light hair and were
both hiding their faces. One was on the floor, the other on the bed. I
concluded, it's Ben's room, therefore Ben must be on his bed.

	I shook him awake. "Ben..."
	My conclusion was wrong. "He's on the floor..." Chandler groggily
spoke. My father yelled something at the top of his lungs. Chandler fully
woke up because of it. "What's happening?"

	Ben stirred from his sleep as well. "Save..." He was looking right
at me. "My IPod is on my end table. There isn't room in here for you
though... I'm sorry."

	Seriously there wasn't. Ben's room had very little space outside of
his bed. You could fit one person on the ground, and that was it.

	Dad yelled something again. "Okay, seriously what's going on?"

	Ben sighed. "My parents are fighting and Xavier is scared because
of it."

	"It's just a fight though. My parents argue all the time."

	"Do they swear at each other? Call each other horrible names? Have
they hit you?" Ben was trying to get the point across quickly.

	"They've hit you!?" Chandler was astonished.

	Ben shook his head. "Dad grabbed Save's arm once, almost bruised
it. Ever since then he's been scared of fights." Ben turned his attention
to me. "Try River, he brought you down to his room that one day, maybe
he'll let you do it again."

	"Okay. Sorry for waking you guys."

	"Its fine Save." Ben smiled as I left the room. He was about to
spill a lot of secrets to his best friend.
	I made my way downstairs to the basement. I got down there and
knocked on River's door. There wasn't an answer, but the light was on. I
opened the door to find an empty room.

	Grabbing an extra blanket of River's, I crawled up on his couch and
fell asleep listening to Ben's music. I woke up when River came into his
room, turning on the light.

	He took one look at me and groaned. "Mom and dad fighting again?" I
nodded. "And there wasn't any room in Ben's room, huh. With Chandler here
and everything?"

	"Ya... pretty much." I weekly replied.

	"Did Chandler hear anything?" I nodded. "And?"

	"I think Ben is talking to him about it. I don't know anything
else." He nodded. "Can I stay in here for the night?"

	"Of course. You go back to sleep; I'll write a note to mom and dad
that you're down here. That way they don't think you've gone missing."
River turned off the light and closed the door.

	I didn't sleep the rest of the night. I listened to music the
entire time. Thinking about everything that has happened and what could
happen. When you have time to think, it can be dangerous. I thought about
some pretty messed up things back then.

	By 5am, I had given up hope of falling back to sleep. Using the
iPod I logged onto Facebook. In the list of people logged on was Kade. I
messaged him immediately.

Me- You awake?  Kade- Yee, how come you're awake?  Me- Woke up
twice... parents fighting. I'm down in River's room.
	River rolled over. "If you're going to pull out the iPod, out!"

	"I'll cover it up mor..."

	He cut me off. "I love you bro, but out! I need my sleep."

	I got up, taking the blanket with me. I made my way upstairs; Elsa
was in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal. "Why are you up so early?" She
asked.

	"Can't fall asleep."

	She nodded. "River kicked you out of his room?"

	"I went on Facebook," I said showing her the iPod.

	"Use my bed; I'm going to work at 6. Stupid morning shifts." She
rolled her eyes. "I'll get everything I need out of their now so it'll be
yours until you get up."

	I smiled. "Thanks." All of my siblings were nice about sharing
their rooms with me. Since there were only five bedrooms in the house
though, none of them would switch with me.

	"Anytime Save." She quickly grabbed her things and closed the door.

	When I re-opened Facebook, Kade had sent several messages.

Kade- Shitty
	 Is it a bad one?
	 Save?
	Did you fall back asleep?  Me- Sorry River kicked me out of his
room. I'm in Elsa's now.  Kade- Okay, I was worried for a sec Me- I'm
fine... Why are you up?  Kade- It's strange, on nights your parents fight
bad; I can't sleep.  Me- How do you know if it was a bad fight tonight?
Kade- I'm awake, and you're in Elsa's room... need I say more?  Me- I guess
not...  Kade- You doing okay?  Me- Ya...

	The conversation went on for a few hours. I finally fell asleep
sometime between 7 and 7:30.

	I was awakened by yelling from the living room. My mom sounded
extremely concerned. "...in River's room, where would he be?"

	"I checked the door; he didn't leave through there." Dad sounded
pissed right off.

	River's voice popped up, tired. "He's not at Kade's I just called.

	I looked at the clock, 10am. Okay, I may not sleep as much as River
but I still like sleeping. River could sleep the day away if he wanted to.

	There was a crash of something. "This is all your goddamn fault!"
Dad screamed.

	"Excuse me!?" Mom shot back.

	"Yes, if it weren't for your nagging we'd never fight and Xavier
would never run away from home. He's a scared little puppy because you've
made him that way!" My dad retorted. It was true; I was 'a scared little
puppy' as he described it. "It's almost a blessing he ran away."

	That comment, without warning, turned me into sobs. I hid under the
blanket and couldn't stop thinking that my dad hated me. How I wanted out
of this house, this prison, and how everything in this house could be
better without me.

	There were words said, but I couldn't hear them. River was yelling
at dad as much as mom was. My breathing began to get heavy and quick.

	After a booming shout from my father, I screamed. The pressure,
stress, everything... it got too much for me, and I needed it to let it
out. So I screamed as loud as I could.

	River was the first one in the room, followed by my mom. Dad was
nowhere to be seen. I was still crying as mom came to the bed and peeked
under the covers. "Save..." She sounded so gentle... so kind.

	Then in came, dad. "What is he doing in here? Hiding from nothing
like an idiot."

	River's voice... never to this day have I heard someone so
threatening to someone. "Get the fuck out of this room... no, this
house. If you have no support for Xavier, get out of our lives! You, sir,
are the reason he is afraid!

	"He's afraid that he will get hurt again; that you will hurt him
again. That every time you fight he'll get hurt. That every time someone
gets angry with him, he sees your face. So get the fuck out!" River looked
as if he could set dad on fire; that's how angry he was.

	"You will not..." Dad started talking.

	Mom took River's energy as her own. "Get out Terrance!" Dad took
the second hint and was out the door in few minutes.

	Elsa came home early from work that morning... Chandler went and
stayed at another friend's house. Dad wasn't home the rest of the
weekend. I felt like all of that was my fault... that if I weren't there
any of this would have happened.


	Late Sunday night I was awake and in the kitchen with a knife in
hand looking at my wrist when Elsa entered. "Save what are you..." She
realized what I was doing. "Knife please." She held out her hand.

	I dropped the knife, luckily missing everything, and began to
cry. "I can't Elsa... it hurts!!" She pulled me into a hug. "It hurts, it
hurts." I cried into her shoulder.

	She rubbed my back as she hugged me. "I know Save... I know." I
looked up to see mom standing in a nighty looking at the knife and me. She
joined our hug; I could feel tears rolling from her face into my hair.

	"We're going to make it through Save." She assured me. "You're
going to get help... He'll never come back again."

	That was the moment my mother realized the damage that had
happened. It was also the moment she started something that should have
happened long ago... divorce.

Chapter End.


	As I said, serious.

	Two more chapters left, you can see chapter 5 on my facebook page
in the notes. Email me what you think!

	Thanks for reading!