Date: Sat, 12 Feb 2000 02:31:56 GMT
From: Lucky Redwood <wanna_get_lucky@hotmail.com>
Subject: Time Will Tell - Chapter 7

OK then, here we are! Thanx everyone for the still positive feedback that
I'm getting!  Don't stop writing to me now! wanna_get_lucky@hotmail.com I'm
making some good friends now, hi to everyone who writes to me
regularly. You know who you are. By the way is there anyone from Jersey
Channel Islands out there reading this?  Write to me if you are,
please. Anyway here's 7, have fun!

Time Will Tell
Chapter 7 - Reveille

"Are you alright Scott?"

"Yeah, of course Claire. Why?"

"You said some pretty weird stuff earlier in the caf‚."

"Like what?"

"Well, about Danny. You gave the impression that you don't love him
anymore."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Of course it isn't, but are you genuine about it? I don't want you to kid
yourself or fall out with Danny. You've always been such good friends, it
was obviously never meant to be more than that."

"Look, I don't love Danny anymore. And now that I've come to realise that,
I've also come to realise that I don't LIKE Danny anymore either."

"You don't mean that, I can tell"

"What do you mean you can tell? I think that if anyone knows how I feel
it's me!"

"I disagree, I don't believe that anybody can tell the way they feel
totally. I think that sometimes it needs others to help them sort out how
they feel, release subconscious things like psychiatrists do with their
patients."

"So you're telling me I need to see a shrink now?" Scott said getting up
from his bed in temper.

"That's not what I said at all." Claire reassured Scott calmly. "All I'm
saying is that I don't think that you have fallen out of love with Danny,
when you feel so strongly about a person as you have done with Danny you
never loose that strength of bond, your feelings will always be very strong
for Danny, good or bad. It just shows that you care for him."

"I don't give a shit about the little fuck! He chose to take Conner instead
of me, that's something he's going to have to live with from now on. I'm
going to move on."

"He feels the same way about Conner as you did, or at least thought you
did, for him.  He hasn't lost out in that sense Scott, they're in love. You
are going to be the one that is loosing out, you're denying yourself and
him a friendship because of your jealousy.  It isn't fair on either of
you."

"I'm not fucking jealous anymore, why the fuck can't you see that? It's
simple, I hate Danny."

	Claire's expression turned to one of annoyance. She stood up from
Scott's bed, adjusted her trousers and started to leave the room.

"Well I'm sorry that that's the case because everyone else that we know
does, you're going to make things very difficult for yourself unless you
soon realise what an idiot you're being."

Scott looked on in shock as Claire, his closest friend walked out of his
room disgusted with him. He didn't know what to do, he thought of following
her but was too scared that she'd reject him there on the spot. He knew
that she was right, he had all along. He knew full well that he was still
very much in love with Danny and that it hurt him inside every time that he
had said that he didn't. He felt so stupid though, if everyone thought that
he didn't love Danny anymore then he knew he wouldn't receive all the
inevitable sympathy when Conner and Danny were together. He had imagined
what it would feel like to sit in a room with Danny and Conner showing
their affection for each other and having the added embarrassment of all
his friends eyes turned in sympathy on him. He didn't want that, he could
handle his feelings, he had for the last God knows how many years! He'd
feel guilty if everyone was trying to cheer him up after every kiss the
couple shared.

He had never intended to tell Claire that he hated Danny, he just wanted
her and Luke to have the impression that he wasn't in love with Danny
anymore, that was all. He had become angry with Claire for seeing through
him so easily. She had shown concern and he just blurted the words out. He
didn't hate Danny. He COULDN'T hate Danny. He felt angry with himself now
for having let matters get so out of hand again. He had upset one of the
only people in the world who truly mattered to him, he had been so stubborn
and selfish. He kept on thinking to himself how Claire had only wanted to
help him and that he had treated her harshly and unfairly. He wanted to
sort out the problem, but he didn't know how to go about doing it.

For what seemed like the millionth time in the last few weeks he slumped to
his bed and began to cry. Yet again a feeling of worthlessness enveloped
his body and he lay there sobbing and thinking of how he had forced his
friends away from himself, how he could never have the one person that he
truly loved for himself and how he was too scared to be a friend for him
anymore. He knew that he couldn't keep on letting this happen to himself,
he kept on turning his friends against himself and he was gradually
separating himself more and more from the people that he had cared
about. He had to stop letting these people down because of the way he felt.

*****

"Happy six month anniversary sweetheart." Trix said as he handed his card
and present to Trace. She blushed a bright red colour and looked at him
lovingly.

"I didn't think you'd remember." She said embarrassed by all the cheesy
grins that Luke, Kate, Conner and Claire were surrounding her with.

"How could I forget? Don't open it yet, you can save it for at the
restaurant after the movie tonight. I just wanted to tease you with it,
you'll be wondering all day what it is now." Trace looked surprised at Trix
who grinned back at her. She hadn't expected him to remember their
six-month anniversary, let alone go to as much trouble as he obviously had
done. She smiled at him and threw herself into his arms.

"Wow! If I get this for taking you to a movie and a restaurant then I think
I'll have to do it much more often!"

"Feel free!" Trace joked back.

"OK I'm going to have to go now, I have PE over at the playing fields next
so I have to run, I'll meet you outside Showcase at 6:30, we'll decide what
to watch then OK?"

"Sure hunny." They kissed each other goodbye and Trix ran off towards the
playing field as the rest of the group turned and headed off to school
having heard the bell signal the end of morning break time. Tracey had
never felt so loved by Trix before, she had a silly grin on her face that
she couldn't get rid of. She realised that he cared for her a lot more than
she had believed he did. She could see that their relationship was
beginning to blossom and she was ecstatic for it.

*****

I slowly woke up, at first aware that I was awake but I stayed in my warm
comfy bed and let the bright sun keep my face warm and kept my eyes shut to
avoid it's glare disturbing me as I thought it might. I lay peacefully and
suddenly realised what had happened, I felt a jolt of fear strike like
lightening through my stiff body. I opened my eyes and sat up quickly,
regretting it straight away. Pain stung my chest from my sharp movement and
dissolved slowly away as the fear remained in my mind.

"Fuck! Where am I?" I shouted. "Hello?"

	I wanted to jump out of what I had reasoned was a hospital bed and
run to look for a friendly face. I saw all the machines that were wired up
to me and decided that that wouldn't be a good idea. I panicked as memories
came flooding back, Conner and Star, the screams then I must have blacked
out. I turned quickly, again regretting my decision from the pain that
surged over my chest, and pressed the nurses call button. I turned my body
back slowly round and turned only my head to look at the door to my right
as a doctor was running in to my room followed quickly by two nurses.

"What happened to me? What the fuck is going on?"

*****

Conner sat quietly in his French lesson. He wasn't paying attention, just
scribbling on his book, drawing patterns around the little cartoon
Frenchman who was telling him how to use the future tense correctly. He
jumped a little as the sound of a phone ringing broke the silence that had
descended in the class. After the first ring he went to continue with his
doodling but as the second ring sounded out he realised that it was his
phone. His mind ran him through several emotions very quickly; disbelief,
shock, realisation then unbounded excitement. He leapt up from his seat and
grabbed his text book and note book from the desk.

"I'll have that mobile phone if you don't mind Mr. Shears, you can have it
back after school."

"The fuck you will!" Conner said smiling as he ran out of his lesson, not
stopping despite hearing his teacher call after him. While he was running
he took the phone out of his pocket and answered it.

"Hello Mr. Shears?"

"Doctor Lewis, hi!"

"Good morning, I'm ringing to let you know that Danny has come round. He
seems to be fine. He's asked over you already, he says he found your letter
and asked if I had any idea when you were going to be here next, I told him
that as soon as you found out you'd probably be right on your way."

"OK thanks a lot I am on my way yeah!"

"OK then, I'll tell him, bye."

"Yeah bye, thanks." Conner disconnected the call as he reached the school
gates. He ran flat out until he reached the taxi rank at the bottom of the
school road. Luckily there was already three waiting there. Conner jumped
into the one at the front of the line and told him where to go.

	He sat in the taxi and thought about what he should say to Danny
when he saw him. He suddenly started worrying that Danny would be angry
with him for what had happened. His worries grew more and more as the taxi
pulled into the hospital only five minutes later. He quickly paid the
driver not bothering to wait for his change and ran into the hospital and
through the network of corridors that he had come to know so well.

	As he drew up outside Danny's room, he stopped in his tracks and
his fear got the worst of him, he looked to the ground, too scared to
simply turn the door handle and walk in. He wondered whether or not he
should turn and walk out of the hospital now through fear that Danny would
hate him. He turned his head and his eyes met with Doctor Lewis' and a team
of nurses that were all smiling down the hall at him.  He smiled back and
knew that he couldn't walk away. He held his breath and turned the handle
walking into the room.

	His eyes immediately met Danny's and within split seconds Conner
had burst into tears and found himself trying not to collapse to the floor.

"Hey I don't look that bad do I?" He hadn't heard my voice for weeks, not
on the phone, in person, on a home video, only in his imagination and that
couldn't do justice for the real thing, I could tell. He quickly ran to my
side and leaned over me, hugging me around his neck and squeezing pretty
damn hard. I let out a little cry of pain from the force of Conner's
hug. He jumped straight back off as though he had hurt himself not me.

"I'm so sorry Danny. I really am, I didn't mean for you to get hurt like
this. Please don't hate me. I am so, so sorry. Please I can't live without
you anymore.  Please don't hate me."

	By now I myself was crying. I looked at Conner and could see that
he had been beating himself up pretty bad for what had happened, but to be
perfectly honest, I could never blame him. I loved him far too much, it
wasn't his fault. It was my stupid fault for running out. I knew he was
gay, he'd told me. I was going out with him for Christ's sake! I should
have realised straight away that the kiss couldn't have meant anything to
him and that I was wrong to have jumped to that conclusion. I had paid a
big price for that mistake too. It is so weird to think that I have been
unconscious for just over three weeks now! It's like something from the
X-Files or something. You know? Waking up to a date weeks in the future!
Freaky stuff!

"Conner, don't apologise babes, it wasn't your fault, you tried to stop me
but I was being stubborn, there was no way you would have stopped me in
time. It wasn't your fault."

I felt so upset to see him crying the way he was. It was if he had been
saving up weeks of sorrow and was venting it in front of me now like an
overflowing bath or something.

"That's what everyone has been saying, but I just can't help but feel
responsible."

"Don't if it's anyone's fault it's that slapper Star Mariscal's fault!"

"I've missed you so much!" Conner had started to calm down a bit now. He
came back closer to my bed again.

"I know. I love you Conner. I'm so sorry that I couldn't be here for you
when you were so upset. I feel so angry knowing that you've been like this
while I couldn't be here for you."

"It wasn't your fault."

"It wasn't your fault either though, get that idea right out of your head."

"Anything you say!"

"Oh and by the way I'm gone for three weeks, come back, everyone knows I'm
gay, even my mother! What is that about?" Conner looked guilty instantly, I
flashed him a smile to let him know that I wasn't angry with him. It felt
weird though.  Everyone knew and I was helpless to stop it from
happening. Conner had said in his letter that nobody cared. I was still
pretty terrified though. I hadn't seen anyone other than Conner and yet was
kind of nervous knowing that I'd have to face my mother any minute now
probably.

"Yeah sorry about that."

"Well if everyone knows then it won't really make any difference if they
come in and find us kissing then, will it?" I gave Conner a
one-eyebrow-raised look and he quickly smiled and lent in. It was so good
to kiss Conner, he was just like a dream come true every time (not that
there had been many yet). His lips were so soft, but his tongue that
writhed around in my mouth was so gentle but strong too, if you know what I
mean. He was just sooo good it was unbelievable.

We held the kiss for what was about two minutes but seemed like two
seconds. My room door being opened broke it. Conner jumped back with guilt
written all over his face, I couldn't help but laugh, neither could Doctor
Lewis when he realised what had just been broken up.

"Sorry, to be interrupting. Danny I can't get hold of your mother, there
hasn't been any answer from your home yet, I'll let you carry on trying if
that's OK?"

"Sure I need to dial a 9 to get an outside line from the hospital phone
system right?"

"That's right, I'll leave you to it!" At that Conner blushed just that
little bit more and the doctor left.

"Stop laughing you." Conner said beginning to laugh himself. My laughter
died down as the pain in my chest returned. I re-opened my eyes to find a
look of worry in Conner's eyes for me. I smiled at him putting him back at
ease. He sat by me holding my hand for hours just talking with each
other. Well. Nearly just talking with each other. Our lips met a couple of
times more that day. I knew every time Conner looked at me that he loved me
and it made me feel so damn special it was unbelievable.


Ta da! Hope you liked it. Some questions answered, some posed. Will Scott
get himself together? Can Danny and Conner make their relationship work now
that they're finally getting it off the ground? How will Danny take the
news of his father leaving home? Who know? Time Will Tell. Don't forget to
write now wanna_get_lucky@hotmail.com see y'all next chapter.