Date: Sun, 25 Dec 2005 19:21:08 -0800
From: Liquid Dream <liquid_dream231@hotmail.com>
Subject: To Be Loved/ Parts 1-2

Disclaimer:
The following story contains material unsuitable for those under the age of
18 (or whatever the legal age may be in your region).  There are scenes of
sexual and romantic activity between those of the same sex.  All characters,
events and places are fictional and any similarities to reality are
completely coincidental.  The only unoriginal aspects of the story are
certain references, quotes and parallels to the movies "Moulin Rouge" and
"Titanic".  I do not own the rights to "Moulin Rouge" or "Titanic",
obviously, and this is not intended to constitute any copyright
infringements.  There is one instance where a monologue from William
Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet is used...this obviously is also not an
original work.  If material of this nature offends you, please exit
immediately.  Otherwise, enjoy!

Introduction by the Author:
Hello everyone.  Liquid Dream here.  So, it's quite definitely been nearly a
year (if not longer) since I've submitted anything.  I've decided to return
to my original style of writing romance, so here I go!


TO BE LOVED

Prologue
The greatest thing you'll ever learn...

	My name is Xander.  My story is one of youth.  Of timeless love.  Of loss.
Of the aftermath of loss.  My story is about two guys who, despite the odds
against them, fell into a love so deep that one of them was lost forever in
its ocean and the other still drifts, lost in the cold abyss without his
lover.  My name is Xander.  This is my story.


:1:
History Repeats Itself

	It was mid-August when I met Keith.  School had just started and I walked
into my second period class and looked upon the other students.  He stood
there talking to some underclassmen girl who also happened to be taking
Drama.  At first I thought wouldn't like him.  He was short...not exceedingly
so, but no more than 5'9".  His brown, curly hair glistened with blonde
highlights that accented his deep, doe-like brown eyes.  He was muscular,
but not overly so.  His baseball player's build filled out his clothing just
enough to where you could tell he was in shape...leaving the mystery of what
lay beneath to the imagination of any who cared to look.  The first word
that came to mind...stylish, I think.  From his trendy skate shoes to his
Volcom/Quicksilver outfit, it was obvious he knew how to turn heads.  Still,
though, he made it look like it was just a coincidence, like he cared less
what people thought of how he dressed.  He wasn't materialistic like that.
He wasn't into the popularity game, although he was well liked by pretty
much everyone.  I would later learn that Keith was also as kind as a person
can be, funny and accepting of others.  He was, to me, perfect.

	I moved to Whispering Oaks High School a year prior.  After running into a
bit of trouble at my last school in the middle of my junior year, I decided
it was time to move on...or so I told myself.  "Move on," was just my
euphemism for running away from the things in my past that I didn't have the
courage or strength to face.  One of those things was Alec.  I loved Alec
with all my heart...  Then again, I've always been a fool.  I'd met him in my
sophomore year at Greensboro High in, yes, another drama class.  From the
moment I met him, I was captivated.  Astonishingly good looking, talented,
funny...he was flawless in my eyes.  Throughout the course of our class, I
fell deeper and deeper into infatuation with him.  It got to the point where
it became painful to think about him...knowing that I couldn't be with him.
Then, I made a big mistake.  One warm Spring night, I shakily told him over
the phone that I was in love with him.

	"Wow.  Xander...I'm flattered.  But we're just friends, you know?  Don't
worry, Dude, I want you to know that this will change absolutely nothing
between us," he had said.

	I thought everything would be ok.  I had relieved myself from a terribly
burdensome secret.  He was fine with it.  All was going to be well, right?
Wrong.  From that day forth, Alec avoided talking to me, making eye contact
in class or walking anywhere near me in the halls.  It was over.  I had
ruined our friendship.  My heart was broken.

	So, here I was, in a new school, a clean slate.  I had loved the year so
far.  And even as I walked into this class and noticed Keith, nothing could
ever have alerted me to what our futures held.


:2:
Realization

	Three weeks into class Keith and I had become friends.  In those three
weeks, I had come to learn more about him...and somewhere deep in the recesses
of my mind and heart, something was stirring.  By the end of the fourth
week, I had to admit it to myself...I was in love.  Seeing Keith every morning
in class just brought a smile to my face.  Sitting next to him made me feel
safe, secure and like nothing could ever go wrong.  My friend Anton, who
knew I was gay and was also in the class, watched knowingly as I would
glance over at Keith in the middle of a lecture when he wasn't looking at me
and I would smile, feeling completed...if for just a moment.

	"You like him," Anton said as we walked out to lunch.

	"Who!?" I replied, more of an exclamation than a question.

	"Keith.  I saw how you were staring at him, Xander..." Anton said, almost
whispering.

	He was right.  I couldn't deny it.  He knew me too well for me to try and
cover it up.

	"Anton, he can't know.  I told you about Alec...I couldn't handle it
happening twice," I said, my eyes pleading with his.

	"It's safe with me, dude.  I promise," he assured me, an earnest expression
upon his face.

	I wasn't afraid that Anton would tell Keith, for I knew I could trust him
with most anything.  It was myself that I didn't trust.  Anton had noticed
me staring...was it that obvious?  Were other people going to be able to
notice?  Had they already?  Did Keith suspect something?  The questions
raced through my head all day and night.  I returned to class the next
morning determined to control myself and be less obvious.  But as hard as I
tried, I still found myself glancing over next to me, ecstatically happy
that I was so close to Keith.  I glanced back at Anton, who sat right behind
me, and he gave me a friendly smirk.

	"Alright, find a partner and practice reciting your monologues to each
other," Mr. Plantard, our drama teacher, said.

	Instinctively, I started to turn around to ask Anton if he wanted to
partner up, but in mid-spin, Keith turned to me and made eye-contact.

	"Wanna partner up?" he asked simply.

	My heart leapt and I felt myself flush.

	"Oh...sure," I said quickly, not wanting to sound overexcited, but at the
same time not trying to play it so low that I came off as rude.

	Keith and I stood and started walking to the other side of the room to
practice.  I looked back at Anton who was laughing quietly and asked another
girl in our class to be his partner.

	"Do you want to go first?" Keith asked.

	"Heh...alright.  I haven't rehearsed that much, so don't laugh," I said,
trying to play it cool.

	"Dude, don't worry.  Mine will be twice as bad, I promise," he said and
smiled back.

	"Ok.  Mine's from Romeo and Juliet.  It's Romeo's monologue outside of
Juliet's balcony," I explained.

	I took a deep breath and began,
"But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
It is the East, and Juliet is the sun!
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief
That thou her maid art far more fair than she.
Be not her maid, since she is envious.
Her vestal livery is but sick and green,
And none but fools do wear it. Cast it off.
It is my lady; O, it is my love!
O that she knew she were!
She speaks, yet she says nothing. What of that?
Her eye discourses; I will answer it.
I am too bold; 'tis not to me she speaks.
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!"

	With every line, I looked at Keith.  Though my words spoke of fair Juliet,
my heart knew whom I intended them to describe...Keith.  His eyes were the
eyes I spoke of, his cheek the one I lovingly described.  I finished and
cast my eyes to the ground as indication that I was done.  Kyle stared at me
for a moment.  No...it was more than a moment.  I couldn't judge what his
stare meant.  I felt awkward, as though I was being silently criticized.
Then, the awkwardness was broken as he raised his hands and clapped.

	"That was...amazing," he said, close to breathless.

	I blushed and murmured out some kind of thanks and gestured for him to take
my place.  He stood in front of me and began his introduction.

	"Mine's really, really cliché, just so you know.  I decided on Jack's short
little monologue at the end of `Titanic.'  I strung together a few pieces
his dialogue to make it a bit longer," he said, going slightly pink at the
ears.

	I smiled (inwardly and outwardly) at his choice of monologue.

       "Just a few more minutes.  It'll take them a while to get the boats
organized," he began.

      I looked at him, quietly and intently.  He didn't continue.  I
blinked.

      "Heh, um, there's one small problem.  You've seen `Titanic', right?"
he asked.

      I nodded in the affirmative.

      "Then you know that Rose talks in between his lines...  Um...this is gonna
sound kinda weird, but do you think you could read her lines?  It just helps
me get the flow and feel of the lines right," he asked me, picking up his
script and offering it to me.

      I chuckled nervously as I took the script.  His pink ears seemed to
deepen a hue.  Well, it was to be expected...it's awkward for a guy to ask
another guy to read the lines of a romantic opposite.  Of course, he just
needed the lines read out, it didn't matter by who.  I cleared my throat and
looked at the script.

      "I love you, Jack..." I read, feeling the heat of my blush radiate from
my face.

      "No...don't say your goodbyes, Rose.  Don't give up.  Don't do it,"
Keith said, his voice deep, slightly raspy as he imagined himself immersed
in the icy cold of the ocean.

      Then he did something I would never have expected.  His hand shot out
and grabbed my free hand.  He clutched it tightly and looked into my eyes...

      "It's just part of the scene.  It's all an act.  Calm down and read
the damn lines!" I was screaming inside my head.

      But I had been drawn into the act.  I dropped the script.  I didn't
need it.  I'd seen "Titanic" too many times to need the lines of its most
famous scene.

      "I'm so cold..." I replied, looking deep into his brown eyes.

	"You're going to get out of this... you're going to go on and you're going
to make babies and watch them grow and you're going to die an old lady, warm
in your bed. Not here. Not this night. Do you understand me?" he continued,
the urgency in his voice mounting as he gripped my hand tighter.

	This last line would have been found humorous to me on any other
occasion...but not hear and now.  Not with him.

	"I can't feel my body," I replied weakly, giving myself over more and more
to the act.

	"Rose, listen to me. Listen. Winning that ticket was the best thing that
ever happened to me," he went on, his voice beginning to shake and weaken,
just as Jack's did in the movie, "It brought me to you.  And I'm thankful,
Rose.  I'm thankful."

	"You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will
never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise
me now, and never let go of that promise," he said, his hand beginning to
tremble with every new word.

	As I looked into his eyes I saw it.  There was something there.  His act
had taken me.  I believed him.  He was Jack and I was Rose.  A tear rolled
down my cheek.

	"...I promise," I whispered.

	"Never let go..." he whispered back.

	"I promise.  I'll never let go, Jack.  I'll never let go," I said, in awe
of all that had just happened.

	I snapped out of it.  In an instant I realized what I had just done.  I had
allowed him to see everything.  He had seen it in my eyes, I knew it.  The
bell rang at that moment.  I pulled my hand from his and ran.  I grabbed my
backpack and quickly darted out the door.  I did it again...I had destroyed
another friendship because I couldn't control my emotions.


Author's Note:
Well, there's the first installment of the series.  I hope you all enjoyed
it.  Please, please, please send ANY questions, comments, suggestions, etc
to me at liquid_dream231@hotmail.com .  I'd love to hear from you.