Date: Mon, 23 Jan 2006 19:54:39 -0800 (PST)
From: Virtual Insanity <virtualinsanity78@yahoo.com>
Subject: Trapping Travis

This story contains male/male consensual relationships of a romantic and
sexual nature.  If it is illegal for you to read this type of material,
please adhere to your laws.

			***

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			Part One

Travis:
	I have a class with Ambrose this year.  If I could have fixed it, I
would have but Beenie graduated last May.  Beenie's a friend of mine, real
name Benjamin Brandon, Jr.  Anyway, he escaped this hell hole and went to
the University of Miami last May.  He still e-mails me all the time.  He
was a grade above me and he worked in the school office for four straight
years as a work-study.

	Anyway, he would give me a copy of Ambrose's schedule so that I
could make sure that I didn't take any of his classes.

	It seems like a lot of trouble, I know, but at the time, I felt
like it was worth it.  Now, as I sit on the other side of the room, being
completely ignored by Ambrose and his two buddies Kevin and Josh, I think
maybe I didn't have to work all that hard at staying out of his way.

	Ambrose and I used to be friends.  For three years, exactly.  From
fourth to seventh grade when Ambrose first moved here.  I'll never forget
the first time I saw him.  He was on the monkey bars, swinging around and
vaulting himself around, his curly dark hair was just as messed up then as
it is now.

	Ambrose is beautiful.  I know that people say stuff like that all
the time and everything, but when people say this about Ambrose, they mean
it.  He's not some buff body builder or guy that thinks he's hot.  I mean,
Ambrose just is.  His hair is almost black and it's curly.  It comes down
to his shoulders.  When he looks at you, like stares straight at you, it's
hard to breathe sometimes because he's so good-looking.  His eyes are blue
and his nose is straight and his lips...are perfect.

	Have you ever met someone that you know is destined for greatness?
Like sometimes you'll watch one of those MTV shows about celebrities when
they were young and everybody says that they knew there was something
special about him or her.  That's how I feel about Ambrose.  I don't know
what he'll do with his life, like maybe be a model or an actor or a
rockstar or something.  He's awesome at playing the guitar and he's already
in a local band with guys that are in college, he's so good. He did a such
a good job in the school play last year that they did a write-up on him in
the local paper.

	Anyway, we used to be friends...and the reason why we're not
anymore is not his fault.  I mean, he didn't diss me or anything like that.
Actually, I kinda ditched him.  I did it on purpose, too.

	You gotta know something about me to understand that.  It wasn't
that I didn't like Ambrose anymore.  Except for Beenie, he was like my only
friend...and he was way closer to me than Beenie ever was.  It's just, I
started to look around and see where Ambrose was headed.  He had way more
friends than just me...and he was invited to parties that I didn't even
think about going to.  People liked him...I mean, everybody did.

	And me - I'm not like Ambrose.  I'm not a nerd exactly...more like
a geek, I guess.  I am smart, I get straight A's...and I'm in an Advanced
Mathematics club.  So, that can tell you a lot about who I am.  I don't do
all that well with lots of people around and sometimes, I can't think of
anything to say at all.  But Ambrose talks a lot and he makes people laugh
and he makes people want to be around him.

	So, it doesn't take a brainiac to realize that I'm not exactly on
his level.  And sooner or later he was gonna figure that out.  I mean, why
would someone like Ambrose keep hanging around with someone like me?  So,
while I could deal with it, I decided to end our friendship.

	It was hard but I felt like if I didn't do it, I would end up hurt
in the end.  I just stopped talking to him.  He was confused at first but I
only had to walk by him a couple of times without speaking for him to
realize that I wasn't interested in being his friend anymore.

	Honestly, I think it was no skin off his back.  He easily found
other people to hang out with.  Before long, he was buddies with Kevin and
Josh, who are hands down two of the most popular guys in our entire school.

	And since we'd started our senior year, we had the same second year
French class and it was like he and his friends were in a completely
different world than me.  They never even glance my way.  I'm a hundred
percent certain that I made the right decision back in junior high.

			   ***

Ambrose:
	Every time he looks through me, I die.  I swear, I've been killed a
million times over the last five years.  He's in my French class this year.
His voice is at least ten octaves deeper than the times we used to talk on
the phone in junior high.  I get goosebumps every day between 11:00 and
11:15 when each person in the class is supposed to repeat the week's
vocabulary aloud for Ms. LaFleur to hear.  I can tune everyone out except
him.

	His French accent is terrible, but he's earnest.  He always has
been about everything he does.  He was just as earnest about dumping me
back in junior high, too.

	I don't know what to do anymore.  The razor isn't enough.  I'm
going deeper and that scares me.  I started after I found out about Beenie
getting copies of my schedule.  I was in the office talking to this chick
who followed my band and she told me that Beenie had the copy of my
schedule that I wanted.  It doesn't take someone as smart as him to put it
all together.  Beenie is really good friends with him and was getting those
copies for him.  He didn't even want to be in the same class as me.  Which
explained why even though I was hoping to see him in a class or two, I
never did.

	I can understand that you get to choose who you want to hang out
with but I don't get why he doesn't want anything to do with me.  I am not
super-intelligent like all the people he associates with but I am a good
friend.  I never left him hanging once...and I always stood up for him...or
had his back when he needed it.

	I want him to fuck me.  Maybe he can tell.  Maybe he could tell
back then and thats why he cut me off.

	I've had some offers.  You don't play in a band every weekend and
not get offers.  But I always say no.  It never feels right.  What if it
never feels right with anybody but him?  What do I do then?

	I've tried everything.  I took Advanced Calculus.  I barely passed.
I tried to learn how to fix computers and I wiped out my hard drive.  I've
tried to pretend like I don't care and that fucking sucks.  I care.  How do
you lie to yourself?  I'm no good at it.

	My friend Josh put a note on my desk.  I slowly opened it.

	It read: I got a fucking F on my Trig assignment.  One more and no
football scholarship, no graduating.  We gotta do something.

	You have to understand something about Josh.  He's all heart and
soul, this guy.  He really puts everything inside of him into what he does,
his friendships and football.  But when it comes to brain smarts, he's not
totally there.  I tried tutoring him myself but he doesn't listen to me and
I'm not always totally sure that my answers are even right.

	I looked over at him and he was staring at me, his brow all
crinkled up.  Then, I started thinking about it.  Hmm.  I had a thought...
and it wasn't totally good, but I no longer cared.

	If Josh was really desperate, he might buy into it.  I started
scribbling my plan onto the back of his note.

	If everything went the way I envisioned it, he would pass
Trigonometry and I would get fucked.

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To be continued......

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