Date: Tue, 11 Jul 2000 18:45:49 -0400 (EDT)
From: Chris G <cgalt08@yahoo.ca>
Subject: turnabout-two-six

Here is the fifth chapter of the second series of Turnabout. Of course, it
will make very little sense unless you've read through the first series, all
of which is on the Nifty Archive (to whom much thanks).

This chapter is for Andrew, with much affection.

-Six-

I came to a dead stop. Other students pushed around me. Josh, obviously not
having seen what I had, moved on a few steps and then noticed I was no
longer beside him. He turned back, and when he did his searching gaze took
in what had rooted me to the spot.

I saw the 'oh, fuck!' look come over his face and his lips actually moved
with the words. He worked his way back to me shaking his head. He reached
out, grabbed me by the arm, and pulled me deeper into the cafeteria. "No
sense letting them see us," he said into my ear and then maneuvered us into
the lineup for food.

"What..." I started, and then came to a stop.

"No point asking," Josh replied, obviously interpreting me better than I
could myself. "What's gonna happen is gonna happen. Nothing we can do about
it."

"What is Debbie doing with him?" I finally managed to get out a coherent
thought.

"Pretty obvious," Josh replied. "She's seen enough to know that Will was
pretty tight with you, so she's probably pumping him for everything she can
get out of him."

"Oh, man," I sighed. "And if he's still upset about us..."

"Yeah, I hear you. But let's leave it there until we get out of the line."

I snapped myself back into the real world. I mean, what was going on with
Josh and me was actually more real to me than a cafeteria lineup, but I
still had sense enough to realize that this alternate reality still had a
lot to do with the one I wanted to be in. So I shut up and went about the
business of gathering together something that could just conceivably be
called a meal.

I finally ended up with a collection of items that my stomach would not
revolt at, and paid for the privilege of putting them into my system. Josh
and I moved off to find a quiet corner. We found one, but it didn't stay
quiet for long. Before either of us could get his mouth open to continue
our interrupted conversation, Stu showed up.

He was obviously in the process of taking his tray back to the dirty dishes
window, which had led him to walk right by our table. His face took on a
mulish look when Josh gave him a glance that should have told him he wasn't
welcome to stop.

"Look, Josh," Stu started off, "I'm not going to let you just toss me aside
like a piece of garbage!"

I could feel my eyes bulging with surprise. Josh looked kind of taken aback
too. "Stu, what is that supposed to mean?" he asked.

"Simple," replied Stu. "One day we're all buddy-buddy, the next I'm
history. I don't like that."  Stu obviously had no difficulty stating what
was on his mind once he realized what was on his mind.

"Well, Stu," said Josh, trying to contain his anger at Stu's obstinacy,
"it's like I said before. I never believed we were 'buddy-buddy', as you
put it. As far as I'm concerned, you were there for the status it gave you
to be seen with me, and that's all there was to it. You never gave me any
evidence of anything else. I just got sick of that. Of you and those other
guys who were there for the same reason."

Stu's face was a study. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. To me, he
looked about ready to cry with frustration. He was fighting it hard, trying
to preserve his masculine façade, but he was sure having a tough time
doing it. He finally got his mouth open and spat out, "When did you ever
let me show you anything else?" He struggle a bit more, then gave it up and
charged off to the window. A loud slam of tray hitting metal gave us
another clue as to his feelings.

"Whoa!" I breathed. "What is going on there?"

Josh had a puzzled look on his face. "You got me, bud," he
responded. "Seems as though there's a little more there than I thought."

"I'm with you on that one," I answered. "Is he going to be something else
we have to worry about?"

"Well, at least something I'm going to have to deal with," was Josh's
observation. "This thing with Debbie is what I'm really worried about. Stu
I can handle."

"Are you sure about that? The way he's acting makes me think we've been
wrong about who he is. At least, that's my impression. You've known him a
lot longer."

"Well, 'know' is a relative word. I mean, sure, he was always there. But
that's about it. He was just there. I knew his face, I knew his name. There
was nothing that made me want to know any more."

"Josh, look..." I hesitated. I wasn't sure this was the right thing to
bring up, but since we were on the subject anyway, I decided to risk
it. "What was all that crap about, anyway? I mean, you and the toadies."

Josh sighed with exasperation. I must have gotten some kind of concerned
look on my face, because he actually reached over and patted my arm. It was
one of those things that, as soon as it happened, would make you think that
every single person in the room was looking right at you and would
immediately understand the full implications of that pat. Amazing how we
always believe we're the center of the universe, the most important thing
in it. A quick scan of the room on my part revealed that absolutely no one
was paying the slightest bit of attention to us. It also revealed,
particularly since I'd looked that way first, that Debbie and Will were no
longer at the table where they'd been when we first came in.

"I'm sorry, David," said Josh contritely. "I'm not mad at you for
asking. I'm mad at myself. I've been trying to get all that shit out of my
head because I just want to beat myself up every time I think about what a
jerk I was."

"Hey!" It was my turn to reach out and grasp his arm, giving him a
reassuring squeeze.

"It really bums me out, though," Josh went on. "I suppose I did it because
it's what Dad wanted me to do. At least, what I thought he wanted me to
do. Like I told you, he was always on at me about 'keeping up my
position'. So, I guess, when I found people like Stu wanting to be around
me like that, I just sort of, um, 'collected' them. And then there they
were, like they'd earned a position or something, and they just stuck. And
I guess I got sucked into being the kind of controlling king shit you
accused me of being that day."

His face had taken on that sick look again. This was getting dangerous. I
had to get him off of this. It really had been a bad move on my
part. "Look, man, you've more than redeemed yourself as far as I'm
concerned. You realized what was going on, and you've changed that.  What
more could anyone ask? Nobody's perfect. At least you had the brains to
make a difference for yourself. And, speaking of brains, where is our pal
Stu coming from?"

"Oh my god," said Josh by way of response. I thought that was kind of odd
until I saw him staring past my shoulder. "Speak of the devil and here he
comes again!"

I swung around to look, and sure enough, Stu was bearing down upon us at
full throttle. If ever there was a man with a mission, it was Stu. I turned
back to Josh and gave him a quick smile of reassurance. Josh's mouth was
set in a grim line, but his eyes showed he was puzzled just the same, not
sure of what was going to happen.

Stu barged up to the table at such speed he actually banged into it before
he got stopped. Even before Josh could get his mouth open to say anything,
Stu was on the attack. "Josh, we gotta talk! You can't do this to me, man!"

"Stu, what is it I can't do to you, and why can't I do it?" I was afraid
the double question was going to overload Stu's processor, but the guy was
obviously on a roll today. He came right back.

"You can't just tell me what it is I think or don't think and make that the
reason for just tossing me aside! Look, can't we talk about this. Without
him?" The 'him' was delivered with a heavy, sneering emphasis that made me
see red.

"Now look, Stu," I said, getting to my feet. Not that it was an easy thing
to do with those damn step-over cafeteria-style bench seats. I didn't
exactly look like a lethal killing machine uncoiling itself and getting
ready to attack. But I finally got myself into upright mode and facing Stu.
"Now look, Stu," I said again to make sure he remembered it was me speaking
to him. "A little less of this 'him' thing, if you don't mind. I'm right
here. If you've got something to say to me, say it to me."

Stu looked at me as though he'd rather do something other than speak to
me. Then Josh got up and came around to stand behind me. Stu's face took on
that frustrated look again. "What is it with him, anyway?" Stu asked
Josh. And before either of us could get our mouths open, Stu charged on. "I
mean, he shows up like two days ago, and suddenly everything's different. I
don't know about those other guys..." I assumed he meant the other toadies,
"... but I've been there for you whenever you wanted me. For like more than
a year now. And just like that I get tossed? For him?"

I was getting seriously pissed. Why was everybody talking around me, about
me, as though I wasn't there at all? First Debbie, now Stu... just what was
that all about?

Josh got in before I could start snarling at Stu. "Stu, I asked you this
before and I never got an answer. I'm going to ask you again: what is it
you want from me?"

Stu's frustration level seemed to go up another notch. "I did tell you
before, Josh. I want to be your friend. You keep saying I can't be because
all I want to do is let everybody see me with you. But it's not like that
at all. I want to be with you because you're a great guy. I like you. I
want you to like me."

I had to hand it to Stu. There was no beating around the bush with this
guy. Straight in on what he wanted, leaving no doubt as to what that was.

But Josh wasn't buying it. He said, "Stu, I was not a 'great guy' all the
time you were hanging around. I was the complete and total opposite of a
great guy. That's what David here showed me. He woke me up to that. And
what you are, Stu, is a part of that guy that I don't like any more. I
really, really don't like him any more. And I'm sorry if this hurts you,
Stu, but I gotta tell ya--all you do is remind me of that other guy."

Stu's face fell so dramatically I thought at first he was putting it
on. But what he couldn't put on, not unless he were a very powerful and
experienced actor, was the glint of a tear I saw gathering at the corner of
his eye. He didn't say another word, but wheeled and charged away as fast
as he could go.

My mind was spinning. I turned to Josh and said, "Don't look now. But I
think our friend Stu is in love with you."

* * * * *

We met in the parking lot right after school. Neither Josh nor I wanted to
hang about to see or hear from any of the people who we thought were giving
us a hard time. Josh reported no sighting of Stu as he arrived at the
car. I was able to tell him that I hadn't seen either Debbie or Will,
together or separately.

"So, umm... what do you want to do?" asked Josh.

"Be with you." It was out without my even thinking up the words to say. It
was just like triggering a voice activation switch or something.

Josh looked awed. "Jeee...zus," he breathed. "I just can't believe you. I
think I have to sit down." He opened his door, hit the lock button, and got
in. I climbed into the passenger seat.

As for me, I could feel the hot flush all over my face. Sure, I'd told Josh
I loved him, but it still felt like a bad move to leave myself so
completely open, so vulnerable to him. Right now my head was down, my gaze
fixed on the floor mat.

Josh said nothing. He started the car and gunned his way out of the parking
lot, actually muscling aside a few cars which seemed at first to want to
cut him off. No conversation took place as he wheeled his way through
several streets, apparently heading for the outskirts of town.

In a few minutes he'd made his way into a park I wasn't all that familiar
with, and steered through some progressively smaller dirt roads until we
ended up in a clearing overlooking a small lake (actually, much more like a
large pond) I didn't even know existed.

He turned off the engine and turned his gaze on me. "I think I'll treasure
those words for the rest of my life," he said.

"What words?" I returned, although I knew what he meant.

"Come off it, David. You know. When I asked you what you wanted to do, you
said you wanted to be with me. Just like that, not even a second's
hesitation. Man, when you make up your mind about something, there's no
stopping you. You know that? Just like the way you came aboard me in the
shower that day."

He was obviously feeling a lot more comfortable about that than I was. I
flushed again. Josh cupped his hand under my chin and pulled me toward
him. His mouth met mine hungrily, pulling my tongue in and then sucking on
it softly and steadily. I moaned and pressed as much of myself against him
as I could manage across the console. Then I caught the gear shift in my
crotch.

"God DAMN it!" I yelped, pulling away. Josh tried to suppress a grin, but
the effort was doomed to failure. I don't know what it is with guys. I
mean, every one of us knows just how it feels to get a sudden poke in the
family jewels, and yet there's never any sympathy when one of our fellow
men is on the receiving end of one.

I sat there tenderly massaging the affected area. Josh's gaze was riveted
on my hand. "Anything I can do to help?" he asked, still smirking.

"Yeah--get me out of this beast!"

"Perhaps it would be safer," he answered, chuckling.

"Yeah, for the car!" I said heatedly.

"Awww... you wouldn't hurt my baby?" he whined.

By this time we were both out of the car and moving toward the water. I
looked over at Josh and pouted. "I thought I was your baby," I complained.

Josh shook his head, laughing, and leaned up against a tree. He reached out
and pulled me to him, snuggling me into his arms, my back to his front. He
put his chin on my shoulder and leaned his head against mine. "There you go
again," he said. "Everything you say just sends me into orbit." Although
there was no one around, he was speaking in the softest of whispers. He
pulled his head back enough to kiss my ear. "Say something else," he
murmured.

"Ummm... have you had any spaghetti this month?"

He sputtered with laughter. "You want me to ask the car to savage your
balls again?"

"Well, you just got done saying that everything I said sent you into
orbit. You mean that didn't?"

I could feel Josh's body shaking with laughter. When he finally got calmed
down, he said very simply, "God, I love you."

"And I love you."  Our heads came together again, side by side, and we
gazed at the water, saying nothing. Josh's arms tightened around me. I
could feel his bulge pressing into my ass, but he wasn't hard. And I wasn't
aroused. The feeling I had was intense, but it surprised me that there
didn't seem to be anything sexual about it. I felt warm, safe, relaxed, and
totally loved. I was convinced that I never wanted to move from that spot,
never wanted to change the smallest detail of what was going on right then.

I made the smallest motion to rub my cheek against Josh's, feeling the
scrape of his light stubble against my smoother cheek. That fetched a large
sigh from him, and I felt the swell of his chest against my back. Every
nerve in my body seemed to be stretched trying to feel every bit of the guy
holding me in his arms. I squirmed, snuggling myself more firmly (as though
that were possible) against him. "Don't stop holding me," I breathed.

"I don't dare let go of you," he whispered after a long pause, in which his
arms tightened around me, pulling me even closer. "If I did, I would
definitely go shooting up to at least the stratosphere."

"Mmm. I like rockets. Especially the fireworks kind. If we waited until
dark, and sent you up then, would you make all sorts of neat colors and
stuff?"

"I think so. I think I would light up the sky with every color I could
think of, and then maybe some that haven't even been invented yet. And for
the grand finale, all those streamers of color would start falling back
toward the ground, and they would all wrap themselves right around
you. Just the way I am now."

My heart just surged in my chest. I brought my hand up and stroked the
cheek that wasn't pressed against mine. Not good enough. I twisted around
in his arms and pressed myself against him front to front, my mouth
instantly finding his and locking to it. But it was a gentle kiss for all
that, nothing forced, nothing heavy. I sucked softly on his tongue, then
took his lower lip between mine and gently scraped my teeth over it. I
actually felt his knees buckle as I did this. I didn't want to overload
him, nor did I want to turn this into an open-air orgy. Our time would
come, but it would be even more special than this moment.

I pulled back and looked him in the eye. "Josh, thank you."

"What for?"

"You've made me understand what love is."

"Wow," he breathed. "I was thinking that you've done the same for me. You
know, that afternoon when..." he staggered for a moment, "... when you ran
away from me, I felt so empty when you were gone. I was actually wild when
I couldn't find you. I think Mom had to know right then what you meant to
me. I can't see how she couldn't."

"She's gotta be cool with it," I answered. "She sure seemed glad to see me
when I showed up yesterday."

"What about your folks? Do they suspect anything?"

I snorted. "I think all they manage to suspect is that I'm still around. I
mean, they keep leaving me notes, and I think they have to realize that
food keeps disappearing out of the fridge. Unless they're convinced it's
mice."

Josh laughed shortly, but then said quite seriously, "It can't be so good
for you, not having your folks around most of the time. I'm amazed you've
turned out as well as you have."

I gave him the eyebrow. "Well, thank you. I think."

Josh smiled his apology. "You know what I mean. I mean, Mom's always there
for me. Sure, the thing with Dad hasn't been that great, but Mom means a
lot to me."

"Yeah, I can see that. I really like your mom. I think she knows where it's
all at. She's a cool lady."

"Well, she can be your mom too," said Josh. "I'd like to share her with
you."

I reached out and stroked his cheek again. "Man, that'd be so cool." We
leaned together for awhile, just soaking each other in some more. I buried
my face in the angle between Josh's neck and his shoulder and just breathed
him in. Josh slowly rubbed his head back and forth against mine. His hands
worked a slow path up and down my back, occasionally dropping to my ass and
pulling our crotches tighter together. I started to feel him hardening
against me, which of course caused me instantly to do the same. My mouth
moved against his neck, sucking on him.  This was getting dangerous. What
to do?

I pulled myself back, snapped him in the balls with a quick flip of the
wrist, and ran like hell.

The yelp followed me along the water's edge. I stopped and looked
back. Behind me, Josh was hobbling along in pursuit, one hand clutching his
crotch. He wasn't making a whole lot of headway, but he was trying hard. I
laughed until the tears ran down my face. We men can be such assholes.

Josh came on. He would straighten up, take a step, and then immediately
bend over, hand clutching at himself. God, you would think I'd hit him hard
or something. I guess some guys are just more sensitive than others. But it
was comical to watch.

I wondered how soon I should let him catch me. The retribution didn't worry
me. We weren't all that far from my house, actually, if I had to walk
home. But I doubted it would come to that.  I didn't run any more, just
stood there and waited for Josh to hobble up to me. As he came within range
I called out, "You poor guy! What on earth is the matter?"

He snarled. He actually snarled. Like a wolf, almost. I guess that
expression "getting you right where you live" is actually true. I pushed my
luck. "Would you like some help with that?"

He snarled some more, and reached out and cuffed me on the head. I took
it. I figured I'd hurt him more than his car had hurt me. I wrapped my arm
around his shoulder, pulled him into me, and put my other hand on the back
of his neck, pulling his head onto my shoulder. That way I was leaving
myself fully exposed to his reach, but I owed him. "I'm sorry, my love."

I felt him relax. "You just redeemed yourself," he said quietly, and
actually quite seriously. My heart surged in me again. His arms came around
me. "I was going to ask you to kiss them and make them better, but that
would get us into something I think we both want to keep for later."

"Yup, later and better," I answered. I kissed his cheek and mussed his
hair. "We should get going, don't you think? I'm getting hungry."

"Yeah, me too. I'd like to ask you back to my place, but I think Dad would
find that kinda funny."

"Nice thought, but I think my parents are actually home this evening, so I
should put in an appearance."

We walked back to the car, Josh's stride lengthening and straightening out
as we went. The ride back was quiet, his hand on mine on the gearshift the
whole way. We pulled up in front of my place. Josh gave a casual glance
around, then leaned over and kissed me. It lingered a little, but not long.

"I'm actually going to enjoy hearing my alarm go off in the morning," he
said, "because that'll mean it won't be long before I see you again."

"I'll be feeling exactly the same," I answered. "Don't doubt it for a
moment."

He gazed at me for a long time, then said, "David, I... I love you so
much."

"I don't think you can outdo me in that department. I love you every bit as
much."

His hand stroked mine, then took it and placed it on his crotch. I could
feel his cock rearing up under his jeans. He didn't say anything. I just
sat there feeling his heat coming through the cloth and into my hand. Then
he moved my hand back over the console and let go. "See ya," he said, kind
of mournfully.

"Yeah," I sort of choked out, and opened my door. I looked back in to see
him still gazing after me. "I'll be dreaming of you," I whispered.

"Me too."

"Bye."

"Bye."

I finally got the door closed, and Josh pulled away. This time, slowly. I
could see him checking his rearview mirror for a glimpse of me as he moved
down the street. I didn't move a muscle until he turned a corner and was
gone.

I guess I knew what love was now.