Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2000 18:01:11 -0500 (EST)
From: Chris G <cgalt08@yahoo.ca>
Subject: turnabout part 7

The following story contains scenes of sex (and yes, even love!) between
young males. If this comes as a surprise to you, I can't even begin to
imagine what you are doing here. My hope is that you will enjoy my story,
and that you will let me know what you think at cgalt08@yahoo.ca

Turnabout -Seven-

"Oh! Josh!" was all I could muster. The announcement of his name took the
strength from my legs, and I fell back into the chair next to the phone.

"Uh... you got time to talk?" He sounded very unsure of himself, which was
totally unlike the Josh Barrett I knew and wanted/hated.

"Yeah, I guess." For some reason, probably outright fear, I sounded a lot
rougher than I meant to.

"Um, well, if you wanted to, um... could we meet in the park in a few
minutes?" The park was close to the school, about ten minutes' walk from my
place.

"Sure, I guess." I attempted a more normal voice. "Yeah, sure. See you
there in fifteen minutes?" I had no idea where Josh even lived, let alone
how long it would take him to get there. But I had no desire to get into a
protracted conversation about it. I simply couldn't trust myself.

"Yeah, that'll be OK."

"Fine," I responded, and then just hung up the phone. Oh just great, David!
Sure, just hang up on him. What's he going to think now? Man, I had to get
myself together! It was the feeling that the phone was about to burn my
hand which had made me get rid of the receiver so fast. Well, no time for a
long introspection about it. I'd just have to head for the park, and hope
to hell I got my head sorted by the time I got there.

I hadn't even noticed the weather as I'd rushed home from Will's. The
moment I got out the door, I realized I'd need a heavier coat. The wind had
come up and the temperature had gone down with the onset of dusk. Grey
clouds covered the sky and the air was bitter. No more eating lunches
outside for Will and me, I thought as I changed into my down-filled jacket.

The walk to the park was a lot slower than the mad rush home of just a
little while ago. I moved forward as though to my own execution. What
revolved in my head was, as everything else lately had seemed to be, two
conflicting thoughts: the need to be on guard against any more of Josh's
accusations of being gay and wanting him, and a feeling of shame and
remorse for the way I had treated him in the locker room. But was he really
going to try that stuff on me any more? I thought back to the short
conversation we'd just had. He'd sounded really hesitant, and hadn't forced
anything. I was the one who'd come off sounding dominant.

I got to the park and looked around. It was really not much more than a
kids' playground, with just a few benches and picnic tables added as a
place for adults to wait. I could see the whole thing from where I stood,
and there was no Josh.

I shivered slightly, and it wasn't just the temperature. Then, as I
shuffled about trying to stay warm, I heard a car pull up to the curb in
the street behind me. I turned to see Josh getting out of a maroon Trans
Am, fairly new. Figures, I thought to myself. Rich boy showing off. I could
actually feel the sneer forming on my face. I even reached up with my hand
to brush it off. I took a deep breath as he approached me.

His head was down, seeming to inspect every step he took. He stopped when
he was about five feet away, and glanced up at me. "Hi," was all he said,
and his head went back down. Right away I could feel what was going on
here, and there was nothing of dominance about his demeanour. I could feel
my shoulders starting to lose their stiffness, and I even shook them a
little inside my jacket, trying to ease the strain I realized I'd been
feeling ever since the phone call.

"Hey, Josh," I said quietly.

"Uh, look, David." He still wasn't looking at me.

"Josh," I interrupted, "I'm not proud of what I did to you Friday. I tried
to tell you that then, but I wasn't sure how much you were getting. That's
why I gave you my number. But I'll say again what I said then--this whole
thing between us has been wrong from the word go, especially that last
part. I'm going to do my best to forget all about it, and I'm hoping you'll
be man enough to do the same."

Wow, what a speech. Sometimes I amaze myself. It seemed that the reality of
Josh standing in front of me, head down, had cleared away all the
imaginings I'd been torturing myself with. I found I was capable of
rational speech, of taking a position, of being strong.

Josh finally looked up and actually concentrated on me. "David, I'm... I'm
glad you feel that way. I really made an exhibition of myself over this
whole thing, and that business in the locker room..." He stopped and
cleared his throat, then took a deep breath. "I was way out of line, and
I'm sorry. You showed me what a jerk I've been."

It was my turn for the deep breath. He'd apologized. He'd actually
apologized--to me! Well, turn about was fair play.

"Josh, there needs to be apologies both ways. What I did to you there, the
way I made you feel--man, I wasn't proud of myself for that."

"Look, uh... it's kind of cold and dreary out here. You want to come sit in
the car?"

"Sure. Let's do that."

We walked over to the Trans Am, Josh leading the way. He took out his keys
and hit the remote lock button so that I could get in without waiting for
him. We settled in the leather-appointed interior and he fired the beast
up, letting the warmth of the heater wash over us. A CD started playing
softly.

Neither of us said anything for a while. I think each of us needed some
time to gauge the other, to see where our traded apologies had brought us
to. For myself, I was catching just a hint of a different Josh Barrett, and
it was just enough to make me want to explore further to see if the hint
was only my imagination.

Josh finally spoke. "Sometimes I just can't figure myself out," he said. He
was back to looking anywhere but at me. "You know, I didn't have to do all
that shit I did to you last week. Yeah, I was mad about getting the
suspension, and needed to blame somebody. But I knew I was wrong about that
way before you told me. Friday afternoon."

Every time he spoke about anything to do with that scene in the locker
room, his voice caught.

"So you did hear what I said," I replied, trying to make it sound light
rather than accusatory.  "Listen, Josh, please try to put that whole thing
out of your mind. We were both. I don't know, crazy or something. I've been
driving myself nuts all weekend thinking about that." Of course, I didn't
tell him how I'd been thinking about it. That part wouldn't help matters at
all. "I just want to tell you again that you don't have to worry about me
saying anything about that to anyone. I haven't even told Will."

I don't know why that last sentence seemed to echo in the car. There seemed
to be a lot more significance to it than I'd meant. Josh looked at me for
the first time since we'd got into the car.  "Well, I guess I know you're
serious about that," was his rather startling comment. Before I could
react, he continued. "OK, I'll do my best. You can be sure that I'm not
going to say anything either. But what gets me," he went on, in louder and
angrier tones, "is why I do stuff like that! I mean, I don't set out to
be--what did you call me? King shit?--but it just seems like I fall into
the role and I start to take it seriously! Then I get mad at myself for
doing it, but I just keep right on doing it."

"Well," I said slowly, "if you want my opinion..." I paused and looked over
at him. He nodded, encouraging me to go on. "Well, I think it's really the
people you hang out with." I stopped, and he looked puzzled. I'd thought he
might have got mad over that statement, but all I saw in his face was a
desire for me to explain. "Seriously, I think that the type of people you
seem to have around you all the time want you to be like that. They're the
type who look for a... I don't know, a leader I guess, and they just eat up
the reflected glory from being the friends of someone who can do the kind
of stuff you do. They can't be that way themselves, so they find someone
who can do it for them." I snorted at myself in mock derision. "That'll be
five cents, please!" I chuckled and held out my hand. Josh reached out and
slapped it lightly with his own.

"Actually," he said, "I think what you just said is worth a lot more than
five cents. David..." He paused and took another deep breath. "I... I think
if I'd been friends with a few more people like you, I'd be better off for
it."

"Well," I fired right back, "it's never too late." I was looking directly
at him. He'd turned his head away during his last remark, and was now
slowly looking back toward me. I held his eyes as I repeated, "It's never
too late."

"You... you mean it?" He was actually blushing.

"If I say it once, I pretty well mean it. If I say it twice, I absolutely
mean it."

"Whoa!" he breathed. After a pause, he said diffidently, "If you're not
doing anything right now, how about... would you like to come over to my
place? We can talk some more, maybe."

"Yeah, Josh. I'd like that."

He broke out into a smile for the first time since we'd met. "Great!" And
he gunned the Trans Am, tearing away from the curb so fast my head snapped
back against the seat.

*****

I had no idea where we were going, but I soon began to get a hint. We were
moving into one of the more up-scale areas of the city, and the road we
were on began winding up a hill. I began seeing long driveways with gate
posts on either side, then with gates guarding them. We continued on up the
hill and driveways disappeared altogether. At last, the road ended with a
larger circle which permitted cars to turn and head back down. At the far
left side of the circle was a large pair of wrought iron gates. Josh drew
up to a control box and tapped a few keys.  The gates swung open and we
drove through.

My mouth was dropping further and further. There was no sign of the
house. The driveway continued climbing up another slight rise then swung
around a turn. When we cleared a belt of trees on our left, Josh's house
was revealed. Although to call it house seemed far too ordinary, too weak,
too... insubstantial, which the house definitely was not. It spread, long,
low, very modern-looking in a way that said modern of another era. White
stucco predominated, with a red tile roof accenting the brilliance of the
walls. Lush green plantings provided a cover which screened the foundations
of the building. To the far right sat a four-bay garage. The driveway
broadened into a very large circle in front of the main entrance, and in
the middle of that circle sat a large, ornate sculpture in a pool of
water. The pool reflected the sky, and I suspected that when the sun shone,
the effect would be magnificent.

"Wow!" I uttered.

Josh grinned. "Yeah, it takes most people that way. It's just home for me,
though. Actually, my grandfather had it built back in the twenties. They
had some really radical ideas about architecture then, and he had it
designed by some young guy no one had ever heard tell of. This house made
that architect's fortune. Once grandad's friends saw this, the guy had
commissions coming out of his ears."

"I'll bet the inside looks every bit as good as the outside."

"Yeah, it's not bad. Grandad had a famous interior designer do the whole
thing. I guess everyone thought it was just right, because no one's ever
changed anything except for some pieces of furniture. Thing's too much like
a shrine for me, though. I mean, it's OK, but I just feel like I don't dare
do anything because I might ruin it all, you know?"

"I'll bet! Makes you keep your room clean when you don't really want to,
right?"

Josh laughed. He had a nice laugh, actually, and I felt really good hearing
it. We seemed to have gotten over the very embarrassed beginnings of our
meeting of just, what, half an hour ago.

"Well, come on in and I'll give you the grand tour."

He had parked the car just to the left of the huge front door. The entryway
was designed to impress. There weren't actual pillars, but the doorway was
recessed, and strong stone abutments stood out from it on either side,
crossed very high up by another stone slab. It was almost like going into a
mausoleum.

The house, once you got inside, presented a much more compact and cozy
appearance. That was because it seemed to have been designed in a series of
hubs. All on one floor, these hubs grouped the most common rooms in the
center, and then radiated short hallways out to the sleeping quarters. Josh
led me from the entryway through to a massive family room. He pointed out
his father's study/library, a games room, an AV room where you could do
some serious viewing or music listening in a very controlled environment,
and even a room which Josh described as a miniature ballroom.

A short walk down one of the halls led to a dining room, with a massive
restaurant-style kitchen beyond. Another hall leading from the central area
led to guest rooms (four), then the master suite. Josh had his own section
of the house, it seemed, because his room was down yet another hallway.

He opened the one door at the end of it, and it seemed as though we were in
a completely different house. Immediately past the door, two broad,
carpeted steps led down to a living- room-like space, with couches, chairs,
and a large entertainment center against one wall. On the opposite wall,
large windows looked down over the hill to the twinkling lights of the city
below. Josh walked over to the wall and hit a button. Lights came up and
heavy drapes rolled silently over the windows.

He looked at me, smiled, and said, "Try closing your mouth, David. I think
you might get carpet burn on your chin if you walk around too much like
that."

I shook myself and managed to bring myself together. He'd laughed again
after saying that to me, and again I found that I really liked it when he
laughed. I said exactly that to him without even thinking.

He looked at me, then said slowly, "That's one of the nicest things
anyone's ever said to me, David."

I felt the heat rising in my face. Josh said, "You do that a lot, don't
you?"

"What? Oh, you mean blush?"

"Yeah, blush. With all the shit I've been putting you through this past
week, I've never heard you say to much. But I've seen that red in your face
a lot."

"Well, I guess I show my emotions too easily. Just the sensitive type, I
guess." I gave a short laugh, trying to shrug the whole thing off.

"I think that's cool. I've never really been too good with emotions. I
guess I've been brought up to carry the family banner and remember my
position in the community." Josh used a really formal, almost
British-sounding accent when he said that. He then snorted. "I always
thought it was all bullshit, but I guess that stiff-upper-lip thing just
got ingrained in me. I wish I could relax it sometimes."

"Well, you look pretty relaxed now."

"Thanks to you."

That sentence seemed to take on a life of its own and went on ringing in my
head. Josh, after a short pause when he seemed to want to take it back,
went on. "No, I mean it, David. I was really nervous about calling you
today, and even more nervous when I finally saw you there in the park. I
can't even begin to describe how I felt Friday after I got home. I just
couldn't stop playing that scene there in the locker room over and over in
my mind. Man, that wasn't me at all. At least, I hope it wasn't." A
troubled look flashed across his face. "But that's what made me call you. I
did hear what you said to me at the end, although I didn't really, I guess,
process it right then. But I heard you over and over again in my mind
saying what you did, and the more I listened to it, the more I felt I had
to get to know you. If only I could get over what I'd done to you." He
staggered to a stop on that last sentence, once again seeming to feel the
weight of his meanness to me.

I had to do something here--no, I wanted to do it. "Josh, I'm really glad
you made the effort.  Because from what I've seen in the short time we've
spent together, I'd have to say that you aren't at all the way I saw you
last week. I think you're someone I'd really like to get to know.  You
know?" And I giggled, trying to take the heaviness away from what I'd just
said.

He laughed, and his face lighted up when he did. "David, I... thanks, man!"

We spent a while looking at the various things in his room. Or, more like,
rooms. It was really a suite, with the big living room and not one, but two
bedrooms, and of course a bathroom complete with Jacuzzi. We listened to
some music and then flipped through the channels of his satellite-equipped
big-screen TV.

"Say, it's getting late and you sure haven't eaten since you've been
here. Did you have anything at home before you met me?"

"Well, no." And then I realized that I was ravenously hungry.

"Well let's fix that. I'm starved. The folks are probably in, and they must
be thinking about eating. It's about the usual time." He picked up a phone
and punched two buttons. "Yeah, hi mom. Listen, I've got a friend with
me. Can we feed him? Uh huh, sure." And he put down the phone. "OK, you're
staying. Oh, that is, if you want to, of course."

I laughed. "What a quick change from dictator to charming host!" A little
look of worry flashed across Josh's face. "Hey, man, I'm just teasing! I'd
love to stay if it's no trouble. Look, can I just phone home and let my
folks know where I am?"

"Sure, just use that phone. You don't have to do anything special, just
dial the number."

The phone had a few extra buttons which I figured had something to do with
that intercom thing he'd obviously used to talk to his mother in another
part of the house. I called and told my folks where I was. They were quite
happy to let me stay.

Dinner with Josh and his parents was excellent. Josh's folks were pretty
down to earth, even if they were expecting him to uphold the family
position. His dad was the owner of one of the city's prominent industrial
concerns, which manufactured high-tech computer components. He told me,
actually quite modestly, that he'd worked hard to change what had been a
long-held family business in this new direction just to make sure that the
business could continue to exist.  He'd worked hard and well, and it
showed.

Josh's mother was very pleasant. She had her own small business doing
landscape designs. She worked out of offices over the garage.

We talked a lot through dinner. At least, Josh's parents and I talked. Josh
himself listened for the most part, adding only a few things here and
there. I was surprised when I looked at my watch after finishing my dessert
and saw that we'd spent two hours at the table.

"Wow! I had no idea it was that late!"

Josh said, "Yeah, school tomorrow, and I guess we need our beauty sleep."
He laughed that wonderful laugh again. "How about I drive you home?"

"Sure," I answered. "But how about you try leaving my head attached to my
spinal column this time?" Josh laughed again, marvelously.

His dad said, "Showing off again, Josh?"

I cut in before he could answer. "Well, sir, it wasn't all that bad. I just
wasn't expecting a Trans Am to deliver quite that much g-force."

His dad smiled. "Well, pilot's licenses are easily revoked. There's all
kinds of aviation rules that have to be obeyed." Josh laughed yet again.

We went back to his part of the house and picked up our jackets, talking
about minor school things. The drive back to my house was spent mostly in a
companionable silence, the kind of thing you can feel totally at ease with
when you're comfortable with someone. Josh and I seemed to have found that
comfort. At least, as far as I could tell. I wasn't reading any discomfort
from him.

He pulled up in front of my house, having followed my directions from the
park. He turned toward me. "David, I really want to thank you for what
you've done for me. You've let me show my real self instead of that
swelled-head idiot thing I do at school. And I also think you've shown me
the way to get rid of that part of me."

"Josh, I thank you. I had a wonderful time today, and I think I can say
that I've found a new friend."

"Wow," was all he answered. We just looked at each other for a while under
the soft dome light of the car. Then Josh said, "Well, I'll see you in
school tomorrow."

"Yeah," I said. "Good night, Josh."

"Good night."

It wasn't until I was standing on the sidewalk watching his tail lights
disappear down the street that it hit me. After his "Wow", and while we
were in that pause, he'd reached over and squeezed my hand.