Date: Thu, 27 Jun 2002 16:42:49 EDT
From: XYwyldchylde@aol.com
Subject: Dear Diary Series (gay/highschool) Part 5

Dear Diary
(c) 2002 Mychyl Kime (KimeNet Corp.)

	This is a work of fiction, depicting teenage males in romance
and/or sexual positions. The people depicted in this story (to the best of
the author's knowledge) do NOT exist... in the rare case that they're based
on real people, the names HAVE been changed... not so much as to protect the
innocent as to spare the poor people listed within the unnecessary fame this
story might bring to them... not that I'm saying lots of people will read
this, or even people where I've lived, but there's always a slight chance...
And these events are, for the most part, all the imagination of the author,
although I've seen the events depicted many, many times. And by the way, the
places used within do exist, and are easily as evil as depicted herein...

	If you are under 18 years of age (or whatever the legal age in your
area is) you must leave. Of course, I can't very well make you leave... but
if you choose to stay, DON'T GET CAUGHT! It is neither my fault, nor the
fault of this wonderful site, if you get caught running around here.

	Also, if you are repulsed by the concept of homosexual romance
and/or sex, please feel free to leave at any time. In fact, now would be a
good time. But hey, it's your call, of course... I can't make you leave,
either... but if you choose to stay, feel free... who knows, you might even
change your mind! My only question is: why are you here if that's the case?

	This is a new story, though not necessarily completely independent of
my older work; if you are interested in that, it's in HighSchool/The_Dance.
And please, do not ask if The Road Ahead will be completed. It will not.

	This chapter is dedicated to all my fans, especially Zack and Johnny,
who've been with me from the beginning, and who are both my most vocal fans
and my most critical critics.

	Each chapter will be prefaced by a piece of the song "Dear Diary",
(c) 2000 Britney Spears, from her album "Oops... I Did It Again". I make
no misrepresentations to my ownership or rights to this song; however, I
am certain that Ms. Spears (or should I say, the future Mrs. Timberlake?)
would not be so petty as to sue me for usage of this song on a free forum,
where I can gain no profit from using it.

	Please feel free to email me with your comments/suggestions. My
email is: XYwyldchylde@aol.com.

	And now, without further delay:



-*-	Chapter 5	-*-


	"...And I wondered, does he know what's in my heart
       I tried to smile, but I could hardly breathe..."
		-B. Spears, "Dear Diary"



	By the time we had finally arrived at the school, we had
both decided that we couldn't let anyone know about us...
except, depending on Jimmy's way of thinking on the whole
subject, he might tell someone. I doubted it; he'd be risking
his own hide, if someone knew his best friend since like
forever was gay... but he might still say something, out of
a moment of indecision... or the wrong word might slip at the
wrong time... one of a million things could go wrong. And if
my life, up until Kevin, was any indication, something WOULD
go wrong. Call me a fatalist, but I know when the deck's
stacked against me.

	We shared a loving gaze while still in his car, tucked
so far back into the parking lot that no one would see us,
before we got out, promising to meet for lunch and heading
towards our first classes. Which, for me, was English. With
Mrs. Alto. Not entirely an unpleasant situation, as she was
my favorite teacher, but not entirely pleasant either... it
meant no chance to either daydream about Kevin, or worry
about Jimmy.

	Speaking of Jimmy, he never showed up for first
period (and yes, I shared first period with him), leading me
to wonder what'd happened... first off, sure, it was entirely
possible that he had simply cut, as he had so many times
before... but dammit, he was my best friend in the world
before this weekend, and I didn't want anything to have
happened to him... especially since we last spoke the way we
did. If something had happened to him, I knew it'd be on my
conscience for the rest of my natural life, and that was a
concept I didn't want to think about.

	I was so deeply sunk into thought that I didn't realize
that Mrs. Alto had called on me until she stood over me, her
overpowering presence bringing me back into reality. She was
a sweet woman (otherwise I'd've never liked her), but when
she was mad... as evinced by several people I didn't care for
at all... she could be the most evil, sadistic teacher at the
school. Which I had not believed possible, only having had
Mr. Albrecht the year before.

	"Sean?" her voice called, cutting through the fog of
my introspection and self-loathing. "Were you planning on
sleeping your way through my class today, or did you think
you might actually participate?"

	I blushed under the sudden realization of the scrutiny
of an entire class of idiots and asses... not to mention a
few people I actually thought moderately cool... and ducked
my head to hide it, sheepishly muttering an apology... I had
actually done my homework Friday, so I could look good in
class (especially since I never do my homework), but now, I
would be lucky to have it all balance out. I cleared my
throat, which seemed absurdly loud in the silence of the
classroom, and launched into my recitation of Canterbury
Tales, noting with a bit of glee that several people were
in awe of my perfect accent and rhythm.

	Oh, did I ever mention? I've always wanted to be
either a singer (read: in a boyband) or an actor, or maybe
a writer... I've written enough poetry and stories to
silence my critics, even if my stories aren't exactly 100%
kosher, or my poems are a little... dismal, dark, scary.
First time someone read one of my poems, they predicted me
to be a serial killer some time in the future. Hah... like
that'd happen.

	Finally, class was over, but Mrs. Alto asked me to
stay back and talk to her... which, a bit hesitantly, I
did, half fearing getting a detention, or worse.

	"Sean, is something the matter?" she asked in that
concerned voice of hers... but, concerned or not, I could
hardly tell her the whole truth. PARTS of it, sure... but
to tell her everything that was tantamount to suicide, for
in this small town, who could be trusted? You got it: no one.
For as much as I loved Kevin, I didn't even know that he,
for certain, could be trusted... only reason I believed in
him was because he'd be in as much danger as I. Same for
Jimmy... though sometimes, you never know.

	"Well, me and Jimmy got in a fight over the weekend,"
I said in my best offhand tone, electing to tell her what
little I considered safe enough, "and with him not here and
all, I was just worried... hoping he didn't decide to go do
something stupid, I guess."

	She seemed to expect more, but that she would have to
find out from someone else... which meant that, hopefully,
she wouldn't find out at all. Not unless I was far, FAR
away from there. Shrugging slightly, I turned and went back
to my seat to get my things together, leaving just as her
first students for the next class started showing up...

	Suddenly, as I was walking out the door, not paying
attention to where I was going, I ran into someone, and
knocked both of us down into a pile outside the door. A
few people just kinda walked past, but everyone else came
closer, watching to see what was going on or asking if we
were OK, as I started to pick up my backpack and apologize
to whoever it was...

	And 'whoever it was' just happened to be Zack, this
really... and I mean, REALLY... cute guy I'd seen around
the school before. He was a little shorter than me, with
long, spiked blond hair, beautifully deep blue eyes, and
perfect red lips... which my attention seemed to always
be drawn to, probably partly because he was always wearing
lip gloss, which was considered a strange thing for guys
to do. But then again, when you are as popular as Zack,
no one says shit... no one would dare question whether or
not he was gay, which I had a feeling was a good thing.
I'd hate to see someone that beautiful get hurt.

	Right now, however, my eyes were fixed tightly on
his, neither of us seemingly able to look away, until the
crowd finally started thinning out as the warning bell
sounded, alerting us that there was only a minute until
we had to be at our classes. However, I don't think he
cared any more than I did... sometimes we would cut our
classes together, even though he was a freshman and I was
a senior. Which was part of why he was so popular: the
more seniors he hung out with, the less like a freshman
he was treated and the more like a senior, which meant
automatic "in-crowd" status.

	"Hey, Sean, sorry about that," he said, finally
pulling himself together and getting up, offering me a
hand, which I clenched greedily, all thoughts but him
lost from my mind.

	"Nah, it was my fault, Zack, don't worry about it,"
I replied offhandly, though my heart was racing from just
this simple, casual contact.

	He let go of my hand, but instead of walking towards
his next class as I somewhat expected, he turned and was
heading for the Tri... or, more likely, the area behind the
Performing Arts building. Where we usually hung out, since
no one on the faculty ever went back there, even when doing
security sweeps, making it the ideal place to ditch without
having to worry about the Campus Police (and I use the term
loosely) catching us. Since he was headed back there, I
decided to cut gym and go hang out with him... it was more
fun than gym anyways, partly since he was cuter fully
clothed than most of them were fully naked... not that I
would've minded seeing Zack naked, but it would've had to
wait. Forever, most likely.

	We got back there and Zack pulled out his cigarettes,
lighting one and offering one to me, which I took.

	OK, don't look at me like that. Yes, I smoke... I
never denied it, did I? And I know it's bad for me... but
I don't care. I'll die eventually, I suppose, and it won't
be any time soon... so why worry about the future? I mean,
especially that far into the future...

	He sat down, inhaling deeply, and I took the chance,
emboldened by my weekend, to sit a mere few inches from
him, our legs nearly touching... which he didn't seem to
notice, or if he did, he didn't react at all. Out of the
corner of my eye, I watched him, while we sat there smoking:
the way the wind made this one strand of hair fall into his
face; the way the light seemed to play off his hair like a
halo; the way he held his young, strong body, so sure of
himself and everything around him.

	"So," he said, breaking the silence, "I heard you and
Kevin've been hanging out, huh?" I was slightly shocked that
word had gotten around so fast, but I knew I had to be quick
to respond to that, or Zack would suspect something, and
friend or no friend, he'd be quick enough to turn me over to
the bashers...

	"Yeah, he picked me up Friday night from work, when I
was waiting on Jimmy," I answered lamely, not really knowing
what I should say... obviously, not the whole truth. I began
getting nervous, not sure what exactly might happen, or what
Zack knew, or what to say... and I started fidgeting, my leg
rubbing lightly against his, so lightly I didn't even notice
until he brought my attention to it by clearing his throat
lightly and glancing meaningfully at my leg... but when I
followed his gaze down, I'll be damned if I didn't see a
bulge under those jeans! It was then I knew that I had to
try, to see how much I could test the waters before I got
in trouble here. I kept rubbing my leg against his, now a
bit more forcefully, my eyes meeting his and not looking
away, even when the seconds turned to minutes, and the end
of second period was drawing dangerously near...

	"You, uh, doing anything tonight?" he asked, a bit
uncomfortably from his tone, and no wonder why: even through
his jeans, I could tell he was hard as a rock from my little
teasing, and I knew exactly what he had on his mind...

	"No, nothing that can't be put off," I replied softly,
not letting up in my pleasurable torture. "Why, you wanna
hang out after school?"

	He merely nodded, watching our legs rub together, his
eyes frequently darting to my cock, which was rock-hard as
well and pretty obviously so in my shorts... and I realized
that this was gonna be a great day. I was even tempted to
move in for a little kiss to seal the deal when the bell
rang, and we both jumped up, rushing to both conceal our
respective growths and to hurry out of the restricted area
to a more public place, where we could wait until the next
class...

	The next couple of classes went fairly quickly, with
little more than the odd stare as I grew both more excited
with the prospect of being with Zack later that day, and moody
since no one had seen Jimmy yet... and though he'd cut class
as often as I would, he'd never cut the entire day. And he
was never sick, so that didn't cross my mind for more than
a brief instant before I supressed it...

	Then, finally, lunchtime, and realization of the truth
came to me as I saw who was waiting for me outside the class
doors: Kevin, a cocky little half-smile pasted to his face
as he watched me fighting my backpack to get the books in,
so I could hurry up and get some food, and maybe get a new
topic to think about... well, then again, since I hadn't
even thought about Kevin since much earlier that day, it
worked admirably, as I considered the complications of my
potential 'hanging out' with Zack later that day.

	"Hey," he called in to me when the room was finally
mostly empty, coming through the door to plod me along in
my unpleasant task. Finally, however, I got everything
together, and made my way out the door, Kevin close behind
me. "Hey, aren't you gonna say anything?"

	I let my eyes quickly evaluate the area... dead for
the moment, so I turned to him, frustration in my eyes.
"Well, see, I'd LOVE to kiss you, here and now," I slowly
whispered, watching his face go pale and slack as I did
so, "but, I've got this thing called self-preservation
that says, the less the better. So, we keep it cool, or
we get ourselves caught."

	I could tell by the look on his face that he didn't
like either option that much, but he knew as well as I
that neither of us had a choice... not if we wanted to
live to tell the tale. So, resigned to the situation, he
merely flashed a half-hearted smile at me as we continued
to the parking lot, loaded into his car, and took off for
the nearest fast food place... which, for us, was the
Golden Arches of McDonald's. Not the choiciest food, but
a lot better than the slop at school, I'll give you that.

	We managed to keep our cool at the restaurant, but
it was really hard, especially when one of my old friends
showed up.

	"Hey, Sean!" I heard from behind me, and turned to
find Ryan, one of the guys from the soccer team a couple
of years back, latched onto me. Not that I would've minded
otherwise, but even among friends, this was pushing the
envelope more than a little bit.

	I stepped back to admire him after all this time:
he was 19, about 6'3" now, with sunbleached blond hair and
a deep, dark tan, the sort you only get from spending most
of your time on SoCal beaches... exactly where I'd expect
to find him, since soccer wasn't his main love anymore...
But guys are. I knew about him back when, three or so
years ago, one of his good friends, Jacob Azure, got
gaybashed by one of the most wellknown and feared people
in the area, Chris Miller.

	Anyways, so Ryan sat down with us, and we were
talking about old times and current stuff, Ryan and me
talking about Kyle Carmody, another friend of ours who
disappeared from town the year before... and to top it
off, Kyle was Jacob's boyfriend, and we (among the close
friends) knew that Kyle always blamed himself for what
happened to Jacob... just as everyone knew the only
person Jacob ever blamed was Chris himself. Meanwhile,
Kevin and I got Ryan caught up on the current gossip at
school, including that Jimmy and I got into a fight, and
hadn't been seen since...

	"That's a shame, Sean," Ry said sympathetically.
"I know he was your best friend, and he and I were kinda
close for a while..." He kinda trailed off, but before
I could ask him what else he was gonna say, everyone
(meaning all the high school students) got up and started
moving towards the door, apparently to make their way
back to campus... which Kevin and I took as our cue,
getting ourselves ready to leave.

	"Ry," I asked, "how long are you in town for?"

	"I dunno," he answered. "I got some time off from
work, a couple of weeks, and I didn't really have any
other plans besides coming up to see all the friends,
so I thought I'd just stick around town for a while,
see what's up."

	"Ya know," Kevin chimed in, from right by my left
shoulder, "you should come hang out with us later on
today... we're just gonna be hanging out around the
house, nothing special or anything..." Suddenly, I
realized I had two separate afternoons planned, one
with me and Kevin (and now presumably Ryan), the other
with me and Zack... and I couldn't see a way to get out
of either easily, not without hurting some feelings
along the way. And the two afternoons DEFINATELY would
not work together... I mean, me and Zack would probably
play it low for a little while, then get into the action
and be having sex... with Kevin by ourselves, the same
thing would happen, but with Kevin and Ryan, I doubted
it... for one thing, Ryan never seemed interested in me,
and I doubted he had any clue about Kevin, while Kevin
had no idea about Ryan, meaning he'd be playing low with
him around, no matter what. And if I tried to add Zack
into the mix... well, it would be pure disaster. No one
would feel comfortable talking around anyone else. And
just when I had a chance to get Zack outta his shell.
Not to mention see him naked for the first time. I
cursed my luck, when Kevin suddenly did a double take,
turning to me and grimicing.

	"Aw, shit, I almost forgot... I'm supposed to be
helping out at the house today, so I can't hang out
until late... is that OK?" He looked unhappy, as though
he was afraid I'd react badly, while I was busy thanking
Whoever made it work out.

	"I guess we can do that," came my response, as I
tried my hardest to sound both offhand and slightly
offended, and was rewarded with a hurt look in his eyes,
which made his heart melt, forcing him to playfully jab
Kevin in the side. "Of course it's OK, Kev! Don't worry
about it... we can get together later."

	~After me and Zack get together for a while,~ I
thought, but quickly shoved the thought away before I
actually said it out loud... a bad habit of mine, that
is, thinking out loud.

	The trip back to campus was uneventful, considering
that it was all of a 2 minute drive. Once we got on campus
and out of the car, we split to go our separate ways after
setting when Kevin would arrive later that day.

	As Kevin walked off, I started walking towards my
next class, only to see Zack and one of his best friends,
Johnny...

	Now, Johnny was another guy I've had my eye set on
for quite some time... he was in Zack's grade in school,
but since he was Zack's friend, instant popularity... it
all worked around, like I said before. Not that I would
ever complain about him... he stood a little shorter than
me, with short, spiky brown hair and deep blue eyes (which,
I found out, were colored contacts... but they were very
beautiful all the same), a deep golden tan covering his
entire exposed body (and, from what he'd heard from a
couple of people who'd claimed to have seen, in other
places as well), with a slight yet muscular build to
match Zack's... the two of them made a very cute pair,
chatting and laughing without a care in the world, away
from everyone else... In all honesty, I wouldn't've
minded being there with them, talking like I didn't have
a care in the world... but I don't know how comfortable
I'd be there with them. And I know I'd be drooling pretty
much the entire time, which doesn't make for privacy and
staying in the closet. So instead, I just kept going...

	The rest of the day went by insanely slow, and my
mind was constantly running over what might happen when
Zack and I were at my house. Alone. Making things more
complicated, as I now had to try and concentrate, PLUS
hide the fact I had a raging hardon thinking about Zack
and me later that night...

	Finally, the last bell of the day sounded, releasing
me to the world, and I found Zack over where we usually
meet, just by the bike racks... with Johnny standing right
beside him.

	"Hey Sean!" Zack called, as soon as I came in sight,
and they both waved to me, while I waved back, trying to
figure out what was going on...

	~Most likely,~ I reasoned, ~Johnny's just hanging
around until me and Zack take off, then he'll go do his
thing, while we go do ours. At least, I hope so.~

	As soon as I was near enough to talk without yelling,
Zack announced, "Johnny wanted to come hang out with us.
If that's OK with you, of course," he finished demurely,
confirming my fears that I wasn't getting out of this one
easily. Considering I'd have Johnny nearby to drool over,
that wouldn't be so bad, but then again, this would make
my ideas of what 'hanging out' with Zack would've been not
exactly work.

	"Sure, no problem," I said, as cheerfully as possible,
though definately not feeling cheerful, then or on the way
to my house... which, luckily, was a short walk. Ah well, I
figured, at least there was eye candy, up close and personal.

	Once we got there, we started moving around the house,
not really settling in any room, until Zack noticed the pool
in the back yard.

	"Tight!" he exclaimed when he saw it, opening the door
to the patio as he called back to me, "Is it cool if we swim
awhile?"

	Now, who was I to say no to such a lovely thought? And
even if I was dumb enough to say no, I doubted Zack was gonna
stop and wait for an answer... though I got a bit nervous
when he stripped down to nothing right in front of me on the
patio, and from Johnny's reactions, he wasn't expecting it,
either.

	"What the hell are you doing, Zack?" he asked, torn
between confusion and revulsion, from the tone of his voice.

	"Oh, shut the fuck up and jump in," Zack said, "and don't
worry about Sean. He's cool."

	Now, THAT was a little more than cryptic, but after
Johnny turned to watch me for a second, he stripped as well,
exposing his smooth, tanned body for a brief flash before diving
into the pool as well, leaving me still fully clothed, with a
raging hardon, and the only one not in on the pool party. And
with the enticement of the two guys already in there, either of
whom would be fulfillment to a fantasy, I couldn't resist joining
in on the fun.

	In record time, I had my clothes off and my body in the
cold water, thankful that it was bringing my hardon down quickly.
I avoided staring at them as much as possible, swimming lazy laps
around the pool and splashing around, generally making a lot of
noise and a big mess... but I couldn't help but feel like there
was something else going on, something neither of them was telling
me... especially when I caught, out of the corner of my eye, Zack
staring at me and whispering in Johnny's ear.

	Sooner than I'd like, everyone wanted to get out, but since
I didn't have the foresight to bring down towels from the linen
closet, we all agreed to simply laze around in the sun on some of
the lawn chairs my parents kept around for relaxing. Not that this
was exactly relaxing to me, with Zack laying to my left, his soft
cock resting on his stomach, the head pointed at me, and with
Johnny on my right, turned facing me, his cock semihard and just
barely starting to throb... there was obviously quite a bit of
sexual tension in the air, and I wasn't the only one to feel it.

	Finally, when I thought I was about to break, Zack got up
and sat next to me, right between me and Johnny, while Johnny sat
up and moved a bit closer to the both of us, his cock now aimed
right at Zack's ass. Zack kept his eyes locked on mine, and I
kept mine locked on Zack, running up and down his beautiful naked
body, less than an inch from me, his cock starting to get hard...
as was mine, from having him this close to me.

	I couldn't take the pressure any more, so I reached out and
touched Zack's chest, rubbing my hands over those tight muscles,
stopping to play with his hard little nipples, making him moan with
just that slightest touch, while Johnny came and sat behind Zack,
his hands reaching down to stroke up and down my legs, making me
jump whenever he ran along my inner thighs, while Zack reached down
and traced little circles around my nipples, while pressing his ass
back into Johnny's dick, which jumped in anticipation.

	We decided to move inside, and took the bed in my room, each
of us laying on our side, one person's dick right in front of their
face... I had Johnny's meat pressed right up to my lips before I
realized it, while Zack hungrily grabbed my meat and started sucking,
and Johnny did the same to him. A little awkwardly, having only done
this a few times, and without someone else's cock, I gingerly took
Johnny's dick into my mouth, teasing it a bit with my tounge as I
slowly worked my way up and down his shaft, while Zack teased the
shit outta my cock, using tiny licks all over the length and head,
sending me closer to orgasm without actually getting me close... it
was driving me crazy, and making me go full force on Johnny, who was
moaning the loudest, despite having Zack's cock filling his throat.

	After a few minutes of that, I felt my cum start to boil up,
and I mumbled around Johnny's cock that I was about to shoot... but
if Zack was concerned, it didn't show, because he kept sucking until
I came, and even then continued, trying to milk me for every last
drop, right up until I pulled his mouth away... I was getting more
than a little sore from his tender ministrations, and it was taking
my attention away from Johnny's cock, which I started sucking with
renewed fervor, his enjoyment of the blowjob audible around Zack's
cock still filling his mouth and throat.

	Almost immediately, I felt Johnny start to tense up, and heard
both of their moans getting louder as Zack came in Johnny's mouth,
triggering his own release into my throat. Each of us spent, we all
just lay there like that, our heads resting on one anothers' hips,
our mouths tasting of cock and cum... not that I minded, and from
what I could tell, neither did they.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

	Whew!

	Sorry that this one was a little late coming... hopefully,
I managed to make up for it.

	I'd like to thank each and every one of my fans who've helped
keep me going, no matter how hopeless the story started to seem...
you're all the reasons I'm still writing this, after all, so if
anyone deserves the kudos, it's you.

	Also, I'd like to give a special thanks to my two most loyal,
outspoken, and critical fans since the beginning, Zack and Johnny...
and I promised them, some time back, appearances in one of my
stories. Well, bois, it's been a while coming... was it worth it?
And don't think I'm writing them out any time soon, either... I
predict, in my crystal ball, that many things are yet to occur in
this story, before Zack and Johnny ever find their way out of the
story... which is more than I can say for a couple of my characters.

	At ANY rate, the next chapter should be along fairly soon,
though I'm hoping that this will hold you for the day or two or so
it'll take to write the next one.

	As always, positive feedback is encouraged... if you wanna send
me some email, XYwyldchylde@aol.com is the place. Also, as a niceity,
if anyone reading this is in the greater Ukiah area, feel free to send
me a letter... I'd like to see how many people in Ukiah (and the area
surrounding) read Nifty.

	See ya in the next chapter!

	=X= Mychyl =X=