Date: Tue, 13 May 2003 16:18:54 -0400
From: Mychyl Kime <jasani666@hotmail.com>
Subject: Dear Diary Series Chapter 7

Dear Diary
(c) 2002 Mychyl Kime (KimeNet Corp.)

	This is a work of fiction, depicting teenage males in romance
and/or sexual positions. The people depicted in this story (to the best of
the author's knowledge) do NOT exist... in the rare case that they're based
on real people, the names HAVE been changed... not so much as to protect the
innocent as to spare the poor people listed within the unnecessary fame this
story might bring to them... not that I'm saying lots of people will read
this, or even people where I've lived, but there's always a slight chance...
And these events are, for the most part, all the imagination of the author,
although I've seen the events depicted many, many times. And by the way, the
places used within do exist, and are easily as evil as depicted herein...

	If you are under 18 years of age (or whatever the legal age in your
area is) you must leave. Of course, I can't very well make you leave... but
if you choose to stay, DON'T GET CAUGHT! It is neither my fault, nor the
fault of this wonderful site, if you get caught running around here.

	Also, if you are repulsed by the concept of homosexual romance
and/or sex, please feel free to leave at any time. In fact, now would be a
good time. But hey, it's your call, of course... I can't make you leave,
either... but if you choose to stay, feel free... who knows, you might even
change your mind! My only question is: why are you here if that's the case?

	This is a new story, completely independent of my older work; if
you are interested in that, it's in HighSchool/The_Dance. And please, do
not ask if The Road Ahead will be completed. It will not. In fact, if I can
sweettalk the wonderful people at Nifty into doing a favor for me, the token
trifle which is The Road Ahead (online) may be destroyed. I'll offer up the
rest of this, and the anticipated next two books, for it, in fact. >_>()

	Each chapter will be prefaced by a piece of the song "Dear Diary",
(c) 2000 Britney Spears, from her album "Oops... I Did It Again". I make
no misrepresentations to my ownership or rights to this song; however, I
am certain that Ms. Spears (or should I say, the future Mrs. Timberlake?
though this seems to change from time to time, so perhaps I'll remove this
little addendum next time I update this intro/advisory) would not be so
petty as to sue me for usage of this song on a free forum, where I can
gain no profit from using it.

	Please feel free to email me with your comments/suggestions. My
email is: jasani666@hotmail.com (my old ones were claimed by hostile
takeover, care of a hack/infection). Or, if you'd prefer, you can IM me
on the chance you catch me online (which by the end of next month will
hopefully be more often, since I should be getting a new computer then):

	AIM: JasaniAvatar
	MSN: jasani666@hotmail.com
	Y!M: pbw_darkscape
	ICQ: 21009696
	IRC: (xy.observers.net room XYchat last I knew) WyldChylde
	XY!: WyldChylde *chat only now* JasaniAvatar *chat and profile*

	And now, without further delay:




	-*-	Chapter 7	-*-

		"Diary, tell me what to do
		 Please tell me what to say..."
			-B. Spears, "Dear Diary"


	"What're you guys talking about?" Kevin asked as he reached the
bottom of the stairs, turning around the corner into the front room.

	"About the fight with Jimmy," I quickly answered, telling Ryan with
a single glance to stick with the truth, but also to NOT bring up the
subject of Jimmy's feelings towards me... I had enough on my plate as it
was, without having to deal with Kevin knowing about that.  So many secrets
I had from Kevin already, and we hadn't even really officially started
going out...

	I almost slapped my forehead in a mixture of surprise, relief, and
self-consternation, having thought that last. Of course! Why hadn't I
thought about that earlier? I wasn't really going out with Kevin... not
yet, at the least... so what I'd done with Zack and Johnny not even 12
hours before WASN'T cheating after all! Not technically, not literally.
Now, I just needed to explain that to the two bois the next day, let them
know the truth of the matter... if for no other reason than so they
wouldn't feel so bad about what'd happened. I wasn't truly sure whether I
would want to go out with Kevin... or consider Jimmy's feelings for me, if
he even ever decided to show back up in the first place... or go out with
Zack or (or, given the impossible, AND) Johnny. All I did know was, there
simply wasn't any time in the present to make that decision, not right now,
especially not with Ryan sitting right next to me, clouding my thoughts
with his absolute beauty, capturing every instant of my attention while we
all talked idly, the words seeming to flow out of their own accord, not
holding any true meaning other than to occupy time, sending second after
second flying off the clock without our noticing. I, for one, was not in a
position to pay the time any mind.  Kevin sat on my left, only wearing a
pair of my jean shorts, too tight for him... not that I'm complaining, mind
you... his hair still tousled from our recent activities. Ryan on my right,
hair (as always) perfectly in place, him wearing board shorts and sandals
(oh yeah, and a watch, I noted... the silver perfect against the deep tan
of his skin, which covered every inch of his visible body)...

	As though on some unknown cue, all three of us fell silent at once,
thoughts of Jimmy and the fight and his feelings for me forgotten (by me,
at the least) for the moment, as I allowed my eyes to continue roaming
Ryan's perfect, unclothed upper body... of course I'd seen him fully naked
before, since I'd had a gym locker right next to him more times than I
could count, but high school (for him) had been a couple years ago now, and
I hadn't seen him very much (or very much OF him) in that entire time, and
somehow... it seemed, almost, as though his body was more perfect now,
somehow, as though some unknown flaw had somehow been chiseled out,
smoothed out, perfected.  Not that I'd thought it possible before for his
body to be more perfect... but as I was coming to see, possibility and its
opposite were becoming much more indistinct as of lately. First there was
Kevin, then Zack and Johnny, then apparently even Jimmy wanted me... and
unless I was misreading signals (which I prayed most fervently was NOT the
case), Ryan, too, had developed a certain longing for me... something I'd
prayed for more years in my life than I choose to count...

	But, for the moment at least, I'd have to forget about that. After
all, to my knowledge, Kev had no way of knowing about Ryan's 'little
secret', and since Ryan didn't really know Kev all that well to begin with,
not to mention having just found out about him. And anyways, even with the
temptation of finally having Ryan, I wasn't necessarily willing to share
the experience with Kevin, as selfish as that may sound, not to mention I
certainly wasn't in the mood to do all the footwork just to create a
repetition of that afternoon, fantasy or no fantasy... so, either they'd
set it up or it'd go undone for now. Which wouldn't bother me too
much... there were always more chances, especially now that I had a feeling
about Ryan's feelings towards me... not love, though I would've liked that,
but I was sure lust was there. And more than sure...

	Suddenly, a low whistle from Ryan broke the silence, and I raised
my eyes to his face to see him glancing up from his watch, a displeased
look on his face. Clearly, time was definately flying by, and he'd just
realized the fact. "Guess I'd better get going," he said softly,
reluctantly. "I've got a hotel room down in Santa Rosa, and it's getting
late..."

	Now, Santa Rosa, while certainly not the longest of drives by any
stretch of the imagination, was still a good distance from where I lived in
Ukiah, so under normal circumstances (which is to say, the highway only
about half clogged with travellers and late commuters) he'd have a good
hour and a half drive ahead of him... but before he'd even had a chance to
get up from the couch, I heard Kevin's voice pipe up, echoing my dawning
thoughts...

	"No, why don't you stay here with us for the night, instead of
driving all the way down there this late at night?" Kevin's eyes locked on
Ryan's, some private message seeming to pass between them, a secret
conversation shared in that briefest of moments before Ryan blinked,
glancing at me.

	"Are you sure?" he asked, seeming directed at both of us, though
his eyes were locked now on mine, as though looking for the agreement
within my eyes.

	"Of course," I said cheerily, keeping my eyes locked on his,
wishing I'd offered myself in the first place rather than being the one to
check with... but ah well, at least he'd be here, and we could hang out
longer...

	He smiled sincerely, relaxing back into the couch, sliding ever so
slightly closer to me... or so it seemed to me, at least. "Thanks, guys,"
he said softly, turning to hug both of us to him. "We can hang out tonight,
then..." He trailed off at the end of the sentence, as though unsure
whether or not he should finish it.

	We got back to talking, seeming to talk for quite some time more,
drifting from one subject to another without much purpose... or, in my
case, attention, since my attention was evenly divided between Kevin's
presence on my left and Ry's on my right, both of them seeming to give me
their near- undivided attention... which was getting me quite worked up,
until my hardon was quite soon much more visible than I was comfortable
with through my Jncos. I wasn't the only one who noticed, either, as Ryan
caught my eye, glancing down at my crotch and winking suggestively, giving
me further proof that my lust for him was certainly not onesided. And I
knew, somehow, that it was now or never, and all I had to do was speak the
magic words and my fantasies about Ryan would finally come true...

	"Would you guys mind if we move the party upstairs?" Kevin
suggested, feigning a show of weariness that was clearly (to me, at least)
directed at Ryan... he certainly wasn't planning on sleeping, with the
glance he levelled at me as he asked. I agreed as quickly as I could make
the words come out, Ryan not far behind, and I wondered at just how perfect
the day had been so far... with better and better things on the way, it
would certainly seem...

	As we headed up the stairs, Ryan broke the ice with Kevin, grabbing
playfully at Kev's ass, and from then on, all the way up the stairs, they
were grabbing at each other's crotches and asses, exchanging deep looks
that left me somewhat out, even though I was only a couple of steps behind
them.  I felt a pang of isolation from being left out on the sidelines like
this, and worse, the first sharp grabs of jealousy... I wanted Ryan, I had
Kevin, and here they were, all but ignoring me as we headed up to MY
room... Not that it helped matters much when, before I could even get my
shorts off, they were already down on the floor, slobbering greedily on
each other's cocks, buried deep in each other's throats, both moaning and
slurping loudly while I finished getting my Jncos off, revealing my hard
and waiting cock. Which was not noticed, and obviously so, by either of
them...  I moved in, trying to slip a hand, a mouth, something into the
mix, but found myself before too long simply standing back, my hand working
overtime (though not very enthusiastically so) while they continued to work
on each other, me forgotten, all but invisible while they devoted their
lips and tounges to each other's needs...

	After a couple of minutes, bored nearly to tears of the twosome
which apparently didn't call for me, I grabbed up my shorts and stormed
downstairs, growing quite rapidly soft from the absolute lack of attention,
more than a little irritated that they had forgotten all about me in their
excitement to fuck one another. In the living room, I quickly threw my
shorts on and picked up the phone, considering calling over to Zack's
house, either to hang out or (more likely, and more hopefully) repeat the
earlier events, but if he was even at home, he didn't bother answering.
Dejected, I hung it back up, laying down on the couch and closing my eyes,
allowing sleep to claim purchase on me, a restless sleep filled with
haunting reminders of the sexual encounter still occuring above me, of two
of the guys I'd wanted for my entire life, or nearly so, twisted about one
another, all thoughts of me forgotten as they continued their lustfilled
romp in my bed...

	When it rains, it pours? Well, it wasn't pouring anymore... not
even raining. I didn't see the sun, though... no light at the end of this
tunnel. ~What if Kev likes Ry more than he likes me?~ I wondered after
awakening from that hellish dream. ~What if Zack and Johnny don't like me
anymore? What if Jimmy never comes back? What do I do then?~ No answer to
my questions came, only the dark clutches of sleep, claiming me once again,
leading me into a maze of entwined shadows, where nothing... and certainly
no one... was as they seemed. Especially none of the people who mattered
most in my life right now. And I was lost in the center, without any clue
as to where to turn or which way to go...