Date: Mon, 12 Jul 2004 10:58:53 -0500
From: KimeNet <jasani666@hotmail.com>
Subject: (Gay/Highschool) Frozen (p1)

Frozen
 (c) 2004 Mychyl Kime (KimeNet Corp.)

	This is a work of fiction, depicting teenage males in romance
and/or sexual positions. The people depicted in this story (to the best of
the author's knowledge) do NOT exist... in the rare case that they're based
on real people, the names HAVE been changed... not so much as to protect the
innocent as to spare the poor people listed within the unnecessary fame this
story might bring to them... not that I'm saying lots of people will read
this, or even people where I've lived, but there's always a slight chance...
And these events are, for the most part, all the imagination of the author,
although I've seen the events depicted many, many times. And by the way, the
places used within do exist, and are easily as evil as depicted herein...

	If you are under 18 years of age (or whatever the legal age in your
area is) you must leave. Of course, I can't very well make you leave... but
if you choose to stay, DON'T GET CAUGHT! It is neither my fault, nor the
fault of this wonderful site, if you get caught running around here.

	Also, if you are repulsed by the concept of homosexual romance
and/or sex, please feel free to leave at any time. In fact, now would be a
good time. But hey, it's your call, of course... I can't make you leave,
either... but if you choose to stay, feel free... who knows, you might even
change your mind! My only question is: why are you here if that's the case?

	This is a new story, "completely independent" of my older work; if
you are interested in that, it's in HighSchool/The_Dance and HighSchool/
Dear_Diary_Series. (As it's been a while since I wrote those, you may need
to enter the addresses manually. Unless you like scrolling for a long time.
Conversely, the Search Page option in IE (dunno about the others) seems to
work nicely as well.) In all reality, while this IS an independent work, there
may be some references in this story which corollate to the others, and if
you plan on reading all three (so far), you may wish to start with The Dance.
That way, no spoilers. See?

	Please feel free to email me with your comments/suggestions. My
email is: jasani666@hotmail.com (my old ones were claimed by hostile
takeover, care of a hack/infection). Or, if you'd prefer, you can IM me
on the chance you catch me online (which is off and on, depending on the
time of day and whether or not I'm working, though with the power of cell
mobility, this is changing for you MSN/Yahoo IM junkies...):

	AIM: AvatarSinestre
	MSN: jasani666@hotmail.com
	Y!M: pbw_darkscape
	ICQ: 21009696
	IRC: (irc.nevernet.net:6667 room XYchat last I knew) WyldChylde
	XY!: WyldChylde *chat only now* JasaniAvatar *chat and profile*
	BLOG livejournal.com/users/jasaniavatar

	And now, without further delay:



~*~     Chapter 1     ~*~


I've had a dream my entire life.

In my dream, there is a vast tundra. All I can see in any direction is ice
and snow.  The wind is fierce, cutting into me, driving me back two steps
for every step forward I try to take. Then, just as I find the strength to
fight the wind, I see a ravine before me, hidden in the white of the
whirling snow, and I realize the cold, the wind, was all to protect me.

Now, finally, I think I understand the dream. And I only wish I could have
the cold to protect me now. If only its numbing powers could flood my soul
now, I could be protected from the pain. All I would have to do is... never
feel. Never try to love.  Then I would be safe.


~*~


Well, perhaps I should introduce myself... I mean, that's only proper, so
you know who this miserable person in front of you is. My name's
Damien. Damien Avile. I don't know what the big fuss is about my
name... whenever I say it, people just kinda... go all cold on me,
but... whatever.

Anyways, I grew up in a small, rural town in Northern California... Ukiah,
that was the name of it. I've tried to forget about that town ever since I
left, but... every time I get bored, or lonely, the past seems to
resurface. And memories, as they say, can often be dangerous. Especially of
Ukiah... that was the worst. I've lived a number of places since then, but
nothing was ever worse than there. A town where anyone who's a homosexual
can expect to get beaten senseless... if they're lucky. I remember hearing,
when I was in junior high, hearing about a senior who got caught by
gaybashers and beaten almost to death... left him for paralyzed, too, when
the cops showed up. Not that they're much against it, mind you, but... they
have their appearances to keep up, after all. I heard that that boy wound
up moving to San Francisco, and that his boyfriend went somewhere... I
don't know where, though by now I've probably crossed paths with him any
number of times. It's only to be expected, when you travel.

Anyhow, I digress.

People seem to make a big fuss about how attractive I am, but I don't see
it... do you? I mean, I'm a mere 5'8, nothing too impressive... I've got
blue eyes, sure, but they're not all THAT blue... and my brown hair's
nothing all that spectacular, even with the blond highlights from the
sun. And sure, I'm not fat or anything, but... I'm not one of those
muscular guys either. Just... skinny. Practically scrawny, if you ask
me... but, I guess that's what the guys like.

Yes, I said guys... what, did you think I was straight? Please, not me.

So, I guess the best place to begin is where it actually began... back in
high school...


~*~

It was a cold winter's day, just after Christmas break. As usual, nothing
special or fancy, just a bunch of random family members, sitting around and
being pleasant and sociable with one another. And me, off in one corner,
paying every bit of my attention to the video game I'm playing, hoping that
they'll leave me alone for once.  On one side of me, a seemingly endless
supply of soda and munchies... on the other, a half-full ashtray and a pack
of cigarettes.

OK, yea, I smoke. So? You're leading me away from the subject here.

That was pretty much the entire Christmas vacation. Me doing my damnedest
to be antisocial and avoid them, them ignoring me and focusing on one
another. All except my younger cousin, Tyler.

OK, sidenote: Tyler isn't actually MY cousin. He's my second cousin, and
even then, only by marriage. Remember, this is California, not Arkansas. He
IS quite attractive, though... back then, when I was 17, he was 15, about
my height and build, with long blond hair and hazel eyes. And he always
seemed to be drawn to me... though whether attraction or just cameraderie,
I never knew... and didn't plan on finding out, since the wrong word or
action would've outted me to everyone in town. Not a safe move.

Tyler seemed quite determined to get my attention away from the game and on
him.  Which, given normal circumstances, wouldn't have taken anything more
than a simple hello from him... everything about him seems determined to
draw my attention. But, remember that I was trying my hardest to keep from
noticing anyone or anything except my game. And it was working, much to his
dismay.

OK, back to present... it's a school day, and I'm standing around
outside... to be more specific, behind the music building, where everyone's
been sneaking back to for smoke breaks since practically when the school
was built... shivering in the cold and smoking, trying to hurry so I could
get back inside where it was actually ALMOST warm. And up walks Tyler. So
much for peace and quiet.

"Hey, Damien!" he practically gushed, running up to me and nearly tackling
me to the ground with a fierce hug. Good thing no one was around.

"What do you want, Tyler?" I replied, not exactly happy about the break in
my quiet morning... although I have to admit, him hugging me was helping
quite a bit with the cold. Not to mention the fact that, in another time
and place, when things actually went the way I wanted them to, I could've
been with Tyler. As in going out with him.  But, meh.

"What? I wanted to hang out with you!" he said, his voice hurt and upset.

"I'm sorry... I just... you know how I am... about people bothering me..."

"Oh, yea, that." He let go of me and pulled away, though it was obvious he
didn't want to. Maybe there was something more there... but if there was,
he didn't seem to notice it, and I certainly wasn't going to be the first
to suggest such a thing. "So, whatcha doin' after school?"

I must admit, I had no plans. Which isn't to say I wasn't going to do
anything... I would probably go home, do my homework as quickly as
possible, then affix myself to my Playstation, ignoring all else in favor
of the game in front of me. Typical schoolday ending. "Nothing," I replied,
"why?"

"Uhm..." he started, trailing off to nothing. I knew what he was edging
towards... but be damned if I would make it easy on him, especially since
his plans included intruding on my day. "Mind if I come over? I can bring
my videogames, so we can play some games together...?"

I nodded, flicking my cigarette and heading back inside with little more
than a nod to him before doing so. It was already turning out to be one of
those days where he wouldn't leave me alone... whether for good or bad,
though, I had yet to see.


~*~*~*~


Well, there we are, the first chapter!

It came out a bit different than I planned, especially since Tyler's role
in the story just appeared out of nowhere... but, meh, we'll see where this
idea leads us, ne?

As always, comments and constructive criticism welcomed at the email
address above.  Flames need not be sent, since (at the best) I'll read
them, shrug, and delete them.  At the worst, I might actually post about
your stupidity and utter lack of anything resembling respect here. (This
only if you have no idea what you're talking about.)

A couple of notes before I sign off, really quick.

1: I don't condone attacks on the people of Arkansas in regards to
inbreeding, but I do go along with the flow. I've met people in Arkansas,
after all, and they're not ALL inbred. (Note: not ALL)

2: I also don't condone sex between relatives. Between inlaws, I can look
the other way, but never between blood relatives. Of course, if it makes
you happy, feel free to do so, but... meh. I dunno.

ANYways, I'm outta here before I think of something else to say that I'll
get lynched for. Watch for the next chapter, coming to your friendly local
Nifty.org mirror near you!

~X~ Mychyl ~X~