Date: Mon, 15 Nov 2004 17:32:11 -0800 (PST)
From: Fup Duck <fupduckmd@yahoo.com>
Subject: Under Pressure - High School Epilogue

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: Let's see: 1.  If it's illegal - don't read this.  2.
If you can't accept it - don't read this.  3.  If you're underage - don't
read this.  4.  It's mine - don't distribute without permission.  5.
Characters and events bear an uncanny resemblance to people I grew up with
and stuff I went through - ooops. ;-) That about covers it.

Okay, last chapter for Under Pressure - at least in this form.  An
extremely hard chapter to write, for a lot of reasons.  This epilogue mixes
'commentary' with vignettes taken from the last three-and-a-half years Kel
and I were together - concentrating on the last year or so.  There is very
little sex - you all by now know the routine (lol).  Hopefully it will be
an easy read.  Some of you may appreciate it.  Some of you may hate it.  To
the latter bunch, please read #2 in the disclaimer.  Any loose ends I saw
not handled in this chapter will be tied up at the end.  If I miss
anything, let me know!

If you are expecting a fairytale ending, go to Disney.  This epilogue is as
realistic as the other 71 chapters in the series.  Good stuff/bad stuff,
drama/comedy - just different faces of the same coin.  And the coin is
still flipping.... :-)

I have to reiterate two points before I 'get off the stage':

1.   I was extremely lucky to have had Kel.  I still am.  He helped 'make
     me' into the person I am today.  For that, I'll love him until the day
     I die.
2.   I did not write this story to receive any praise or pity.  It was just
     a story about growing up loving another boy.  Nothing more, nothing
     less, what happened, happened - no justification or apologies offered.

Well, I guess it's time to end this thing...one piece of advice - life is
what YOU make it...remember that.


So here it is, the dreaded epilogue :-)

******************************************************************************
FROM CHAPTER 39

David finished dressing, then they followed the smell of eggs and bacon
downstairs to the kitchen.  Kelly's mom was standing over the stove, fixing
breakfast, and turned to face them as they padded into the kitchen.

"So what do you guys have planned?"

Kelly shrugged, "I dunno, but we'll think of something."



UNDER PRESSURE/HIGH SCHOOL 40 - Life DOES Go On

David and Kelly's intimacy lasted without discovery through the rest of
high school.  Both lost their heterosexual virginity in the Spring of their
tenth-grade year to, you guessed it, Suzy and Brenda.  They dated the girls
for the rest of that year and almost through the end of their junior year
in high school.  During that period, D & K's intimate moments continued,
but not as regularly.  The girlfriends took up a lot of the time they had
previously spent together, but neither one was really upset - they were
relishing in their 'normalcy.'  The times they spent together, while not as
often as before, were just as intense and mutually enjoyable.

##### VIGNETTE #1 - 10th grade - May #####

"So, ya gonna dump me?"

David laughed at the question, "What do you think?  Dumb question, Kel."

The two were laying side by side in David's basement, naked and a little
sweaty.  David smacked his lips, causing Kelly to chuckle.  "Whatcha
think?"

"It's still a little gross, man," then he leaned over and kissed Kelly.

"Yeah, but if ya don't like it, how come you let me cum in your mouth?"

"Man," David sighed, flopping onto his back.  "It's weird, but we've been
doing it for a while, sorta get used to it.  And I really don't mind.
Sorta like when we screw each other, it hurts but...," David started to
explain.

"Yeah, I know what ya mean," Kelly interrupted with a smile.  He slid his
palm over David's limp dick.  "It's weird, but I like it."

"Better than Brenda?" David asked, with a chuckle.

"Just different, I guess," Kelly replied, moving to rest his head on
David's stomach.

David ran his fingers through Kelly's longish hair.  "Yeah, different is
right.  Maybe we ought to get some sleep."

Kelly chuckled against David's stomach, "There ya are, ruining the mood
again."

David snorted, and gently pushed Kelly's head lower on his stomach.  "Ruin
this mood."

Kelly laughed and raised his head, "Thought you said you had enough, ya sex
fiend."

"Yeah, I'm tired, let's get some sleep."

"Okay,' Kelly replied, pulling on his briefs as David did the same with his
gym shorts.  When they were 'presentable,' they settled under the covers,
David spooned against Kelly's warm back.

"Night Kel."

"Mmmhmm, night."

##########

David and Kelly spent a couple of weekends at the ore pits that summer,
mainly sleeping in the house ruins as they had before.  Some weekends were
spent exploring the pits and surrounding woods.  Others were spent
exploring each other.  David continued working at the fast food place and
Kelly finally broke down and got a job at another restaurant as a busboy.
Between work, the girls, and family vacations, there wasn't a whole lot of
time for them, so they enjoyed what they had.  Chad became a 'regular'
cruiser with the two older boys.  More often than not, he was allowed to
'tag along' whenever David and Kelly went somewhere.  Neither David nor
Kelly had a younger brother, and Chad seemed to fit the bill.  They were
always careful with their affection around the younger boy, though.
Especially after almost being exposed at the movies the previous January.
They showed affection to Chad, who seemed to bask in the attention, but
managed to appear 'normal' with each other around him.


##### VIGNETTE #2 - 11th grade - October #####

David felt a little stupid dressed like this.  He was 17 and too old to be
trick-or-treating.  But here he was, dressed like a pirate.  He sighed
quietly and followed Chad, also dressed as a pirate, to the next house.

"Oh, isn't that cute?" gushed the lady who opened the door.  "Brothers
dressed as pirates."  She slipped some candy into Chad's sack, then turned
to David.  "Don't you want any candy?"

"No thanks, ma'am, I'm just looking out for my....brother."

"Oh, that's so nice, well Happy Halloween."

Chad turned around beaming through his make-up at David.  "Wow, she gave me
a lot!"  Then he giggled, "Bro."

"That's cool," David grinned back, unable to resist Chad's infectious
smile.  "Let's rock."

They hit a few more houses, then Chad suggested, "Let's go to Kelly's."

"Uhhh, I dunno if he'll be home," David hedged.

"Awww, c'mon.  Please?"

David sighed, might as well get this over.  "Okay, kiddo."

David drove toward Kelly's and parked the car in the zoo parking lot next
door.  They got out and started walking toward the house, Chad leading the
way and David hanging back as far as he could.  Mrs. Sites answered the
door and after receiving his treat, Chad asked if Kelly was home.  "Oh no,"
thought David and tried to slip into the shadows as Kelly came to the door.

"Hey Kelly, know me?" Chad asked.

"Hey bud, you here alone?"

"Nah, David brought me."

David heard Kelly chuckle then ask, "So where is he?"

Chad turned, surprised that David wasn't behind him.  He soon spotted the
teen leaning against a tree in the front yard, his back to the house.
"There he is.  Hey David."

David turned around and Kelly almost collapsed in laughter.  David walked
to the door and groused at Kelly, "Hey man, what's so funny?"

Kelly interrupted his laughter to point and say, "You look good."  Then he
burst into another fit of laughter.

"Sure, laugh at your best friend, man.  I don't see YOU out here, even
though I see you have your costume on."

Kelly stopped laughing at the tone in David's voice.  He clapped his hand
on David's shoulder and said, "Hey, I think it's great you're
trick-or-treating with Captain Kiddo here.  Want some company?"

"Sure, if ya wanna be seen with us," David smiled.

Kelly went back in the house to tell his mother where he was going and the
three of them spent the rest of the night filling Chad's goodie bag.

##########

Kelly and David spent the rest of their Junior Year concentrating on their
studies, with Kelly also putting a lot of time into his drama classes.
Both of them once again made the honor roll for the year.  In April of that
year they broke up with Suzy and Brenda.  The split was kind of inevitable
with neither Kelly nor David having enough free time to really spend with
their girlfriends.  David increased his work schedule in order to start
saving more for college and Kelly's play and musical rehearsals didn't
leave much spare time for him either.  The break up was friendly, and both
of them went to the Junior Prom with their ex-girlfriends.

Over the summer, both boys increased their work hours to a 35 - 40-hour
week.  Their free weekends were spent hanging around with their friends, or
camping out at the ore pits once again.  The weekends at the pits were a
welcome change, allowing them to continue their intimacy in a setting in
which they were comfortable.

##### VIGNETTE #3 - 11th grade summer - August #####

"I've missed this," David admitted softly.

"Yeah, haven't had a whole lot of time lately, huh?" Kelly replied, his
head in its normal resting place on David's bare stomach.

"You think maybe we're growing out of it?"

Kelly laughed a little, "I dunno, maybe.  But it's still fun, ya know?"

"Yeah, it is.  I like it a lot, Kel."  He rubbed Kelly's bare shoulder,
eyes focused on the darkness of the woods.  "I'm glad we're friends, man."

"You'd better be," Kelly replied lightly.  Then he turned serious, "Me too,
Dave.  But I never thought we'd be like this."  Kelly made a general
gesture that encompassed their position.

"Yeah, me neither.  It's still weird though."

Kelly poked David's chest, "You're weird, but I don't complain about it."

"I'm not complaining," David chuckled.  Then he looked down at Kelly.  "You
know..."

"Yeah, I know," Kelly smiled.  "Me too."

David smiled at him warmly, then shifted a little.  "Let's get some sleep,
we both gotta work tomorrow."

"Okay, you sure..."

"Know how to ruin a mood," David completed, laughing.

##########

Their senior year was filled with applying for scholarships, grants, taking
the SAT's, and even more socializing and studying than the previous year.
The six of them felt the weight of the end of their high school years
hanging over them.  Only David and Kelly were going to attend the same
college, the other four were going to be spread out over the east coast
from South Carolina to New York.  Kelly had the lead in 'Grease' that year,
and the local paper recorded that it was probably the best performance they
had seen from a high school senior.

Steve and Rhonda were still together, surprising them all.  Sean, Mark, and
Jim had their share of 'squeezes' over the last year, but nothing as
lasting as Steve and Rhonda.  Even though Steve had decided to go to
college in North Carolina and Rhonda in Ohio, they were determined not to
let the distance get between them.  The other five honestly hoped that it
wouldn't.  Graduation was soon upon them and the six 'Locker Loungers'
walked the stage, receiving their diplomas.  The following day the six of
them piled into cars and headed for the beach.

##### VIGNETTE #5 - 12th grade summer - June #####

The party was in full swing by eight o'clock that night.  The six of them
had only arrived a few hours ago, checked into their hotel, spent some time
on the beach, then headed to the party.  There must have been more than 100
just-graduated seniors crowded into the mid- sized house belonging to the
parents of one of their fellow students.

"Ssso, we did it!" Steve slurred, tapping his cup to Kelly's.

"Yep, who would have thought, huh?" Sean laughed.

The six were standing in what appeared to be the living room in a corner
each with a cup from the keg in their hand.  Kelly laughed and took a sip
from his cup, grimacing a little at the taste.  He watched as David drained
his cup, and said, "I dunno how you can stand this stuff."

"Hey, it's free," David replied, grinning.

"Yup, want another one?  My cup seems to have a hole in the bottom," Jim
asked.

"Nah, I'm good," answered David, aware of Kelly's slight disapproval.

Kelly followed Jim with his eyes as he wove unsteadily toward the keg in
the kitchen.  "Let's go somewhere," he suggested to David.

"Where?  All the bedrooms are probably in use," David joked.

Kelly shot him an angry glare, and Sean, Mark, and Steve laughed
uproariously.

"Hey man, lighten up, I was just carrying on," David apologized.

"Well, I'm going outside, it's too crowded in here."

"Okay, don't do anything I wouldn't do," Steve joked.

"Oh, don't worry," Kelly answered, still with a hint of anger.  Then he
turned and made his way to the patio door leading onto the deck.

"You oughta go with him, Dave," suggested Sean.

"Yeah, I think I fucked up."

"Me too," Sean smiled.  He raised his half-full cup, "This shit's not worth
losing a friend."

"Yeah, we'll see ya back at the room, okay?"

"No problem, how ya gonna get there?"

"We'll catch a ride or something.  Someone who hasn't had too much to
drink."

"Okay, well, that won't be me," Sean laughed.

David went through the patio door onto the deck, he saw Kelly leaning
against the rail on the far side, away from the couples that were using the
semi-privacy to make out.  He tossed his cup in the trash can and slowly
walked toward him.

"What do you want?" asked Kelly, facing away.

David lowered his voice, "Would you believe it if I said, 'you'?"

"You know, I can't believe you're drinking."

"It's a party, Kel.  We're out of school, at the beach, you know - a
party."

"Duh."

David moved so he could lean on the railing beside a sullen Kelly.  "Look,
what's bugging you?"

Kelly nodded back over his shoulder, "All of this stuff."

David glanced around at the couple making out on the deck, then turned back
to Kelly, who was still staring out over the backyard.  "Yeah, it's sorta
gross, huh?"

"Fuck you, Dave.  You know what I mean.  If you weren't fucking drunk,
you'd feel the same way."

"I'm not drunk, Kel.  I've had what?  Two cups of beer?  C'mon, man."

"Well, why don't you go see if a bedroom is available," Kelly answered
acidly.

David sighed, "So THAT's what's bugging you?"

"Why didn't you just tell everyone that you wanted to fuck me?"

"Kelly, stop the shit, man.  It was a joke.  Remember?  Like we used to do
in school.  Those guys thought it was a joke, why don't you?"

Kelly turned to face David, looking seriously at him.  David met his stare,
then raised a corner of his mouth into a half-smile.  Kelly snorted, then
turned back to face across the yard.  "It's all a big joke to you isn't
it?"

"Dammit, Kel.  You know better than that," David hissed.  Kelly shrugged
slightly and was silent.  David glanced around again to make sure no one
was close enough to hear him, then he leaned closer to Kelly.  "Kel, you're
my best friend, and I love you.  Does any of THAT matter?"  Kelly was
silent for a few seconds.  David put his hand on Kelly's shoulder, feeling
him tense as if to shrug it off, then relax.  David waited.  He gave a
gentle squeeze to Kelly's shoulder, then whispered, "Come on."

"Where?"

"Just come on," David said again, heading back into the house.  He didn't
look back to see if Kelly was following, just made his way through the
crowd, and out the front door.  He walked to the street corner leading to
the boardwalk before he stopped and turned around.  He saw Kelly coming
down the porch steps and smiled a little, dropping the corners of his mouth
when he saw Kelly look at him.  His previous attempt to lighten the mood
had just made it worse, so if Kelly wanted to be serious, so be it.

He waited while Kelly approached, then murmured, "C'mon," and headed to a
set of steps leading to the beach.  He heard Kelly descend behind him, then
was slogging through the sand to the water's edge.  He sat down out of
reach of the waves, and started removing his shoes.  Kelly stood watching
as he then stripped off his t-shirt, tossed it on top of his shoes and
socks, and turned to face him.  He gaped as David started unbuttoning his
shorts, then started smiling as he pushed them down, exposing a pair of
fluorescent green swim trunks.

"Those have got to be the ugliest pair of trunks I've ever seen," Kelly
smiled.

"Well, I can always take 'em off," David responded, hooking his fingers
inside the waistband, his eyes still on Kelly.

Kelly shook his head, still grinning.  "No thanks, might draw attention to
yourself."

David smiled, then headed for the surf, wading out into the darkened water.
Kelly followed him.  "What the hell are you doing?"

David turned and shrugged, "Swimmin'.  C'mon."  Then he turned back around
and waded out until the water reached his waist.

"You're nuts," he heard Kelly laugh.

"Maybe," David replied, turning around to see Kelly stripping to his
briefs.  Glancing up toward the boardwalk, he noted that it must be low
tide, since it was close to 200 feet away.  When he turned his attention
back to Kelly, he was already wading out into the water, shivering a little
as the water crawled up his legs.

"You're n-nuts," Kelly stuttered again.

"Yep, and now you are too," David finally let his grin show.  "C'mon."  He
turned and waded further until the water reached his chest.  Kelly moved up
beside him, arms crossed across his chest.  David turned once again toward
the boardwalk, then moved until he was between it and Kelly.  He turned
around to face the other teen and grinned.  "Kiss me."

Kelly's mouth dropped open.  "What?"

"Did I stutter?"

"No, but someone could see us."

David shrugged a little and grinned, "Sometimes long hair can be a good
thing."  Then he laughed, "People will think you're making out with a girl.
If they even notice us."

"You're nuts," Kelly said again.

"Quit repeating yourself, we've already determined that."

"Yeah, but...," Kelly began, then gasped as he felt David's hand grope him
underwater.

"So, you gonna do it, or just stand there?" David challenged.  Then he said
the magic words, "I dare you."

Kelly grinned then wrapped his arms around David, pressing his lips against
David's parted ones.  They kissed for a few seconds before pulling away
slightly, Kelly glancing over David's shoulder.  "I don't think anyone can
see us."

David reached down again and rubbed Kelly's groin.  The water was too cold
to get a reaction, but Kelly smiled and closed his eyes.  "Better now?"
David asked.

"I guess I was sort of a dick, huh?"

"No more than usual," David replied, gently fondling Kelly's crotch,
sliding his hand inside the wet briefs.

Kelly kissed him again, this time longer and deeper.  When he pulled away,
he grinned at David, "I like swimming in the ocean."

"Yeah, me too."

They were not observed making out in the ocean that night, luckily.  They
also managed to sneak a few more late night swims in during the week they
were at the beach.  Soon the vacation was over and they faced the rest of
their final summer of high school.

##########

David and Kelly only managed to get together three other times that summer.
As college got closer, they began to anticipate being away from home more
and more.  At the beginning of August, they received their room assignments
in the mail along with other information the college felt was necessary to
know before they arrived.  Both were extremely disappointed that the
housing authorities had put them in different rooms.  The only thing that
made it better was that they were at least in the same dorm.  They
discussed how they were going to get together during their first year and
came up with no concrete ideas.

When they arrived at college, and met their roommates - who were both
upperclassmen - their disappointment was alleviated somewhat to be told
that both roomies were on sports teams and would be gone more than they
were in their rooms.

During the first week of classes, Mike made his appearance.  Neither Dave
nor Kelly had slipped into a good routine of studying, classes, and free
time.  Both felt extremely alienated as most freshman do, and even though
Mike was still an asshole, they both were somewhat appreciative of his
attention - Kelly more so than David.

The only high point of David's first few months was letters from Chad.
Before he left, he had given the boy - who was now a teenager, his address
and told him to write if he felt like it.  He was receiving a letter a week
from Chad, filling him in on life back home.  He had replied to each
letter, and as he started feeling more and more alone had started signing
them, "Love, Dave."  After the first one David sent like that, Chad started
ending his the same way.  It made David feel a little better.

As the year progressed, Kelly fell more and more into Mike's crowd.  Mike
seemed to enjoy playing mentor to his little brother, and either tolerated
or completely ignored David's presence.  He and Kelly were beginning to
spend more time apart as the year went on.  In the first three months, they
only managed to get together twice to relieve their 'stress.'  It seemed to
upset David more than Kelly, but both enjoyed whatever time they spent
together.

At those times, when he felt he wasn't welcome, David spent time studying,
or hanging out with the roomies from next door who were also freshmen.
Mark and Vic were pretty cool, David thought.  They seemed to have their
act together and he enjoyed the time spent with them - of course the fact
they were both cute didn't hurt either.

##### VIGNETTE #6 - Freshman Year - November #####

"C'mon Dave, a night out isn't gonna hurt you," Vic said.

"Yeah," goaded Mark, smiling.  "All work and no play."

David sighed and closed his Chemistry text.  He had a test on Tuesday, and
wanted to be sure he understood what they had covered.  Kelly was out again
with Mike and his friends, so he had decided to get some book time in.  He
looked at their grinning faces and broke into one himself.

"All right, you party reptiles, let me get changed."

Mark and Vic's smiles widened at his agreement to come with them and they
left to get changed themselves.  David hurriedly slipped into a decent pair
of jeans and a three- quarter sleeved shirt, and tossed his jacket over his
shoulder and walked into Mark's room.  He halted just inside the door as he
saw Mark clad in just his underwear and Vic shirtless.  Vic looked over and
grinned, "Quit being a pervert."  Mark looked at David's face, grinned and
pulled on his jeans and shirt.

Finally dressed, the three headed out of the dorm, walking into town.  "The
Hole?" Mark asked David.

"Yeah, that's cool with me."

They entered the bar - Mark and Vic were 18 and David had turned 19 in
September, so they paid the cover charge and found seats around a table
toward the back of the bar.  They ordered their beer and sat back to enjoy
the evening.

****Fup's Note****

Back then, you could buy beer at 18.  Wine (yes, wine) and the harder stuff
was 21.

********

Three beers and 90 minutes later, they were chatting about school, classes,
girls (which David didn't participate much in), and various other subjects,
when Mark looked toward the door.

"Hey, isn't that your bud?" he asked David.

David turned in his chair to see Mike and Kelly walk up to the bar and
order drinks.  He saw Kelly look around the room and settle on their table.
He grinned widely and tapped his older brother on the shoulder.  Mike
looked over and sneered a little and he and Kelly approached their table
with their drinks.  Mike pulled out a chair and sat down, "Well, I guess I
can have a drink with some homo freshmen."  Kelly blushed a little and sat
beside David, giving him a small smile.  Vic and Mark were obviously
uncomfortable and excused themselves to get another drink, leaving the
other three at the table.

"Hey," David greeted Kelly, noticing he was still grinning.  "What's up
with you?"  Kelly turned to him and started to reply, and David took notice
his eyes were bloodshot.  "You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," Kelly replied slowly and then giggled.  David hadn't heard Kelly
actually 'giggle' in years.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with my little brother, homo.  He was just thirsty, so we
thought we'd come out and get a drink.  You got a problem with that?"

"Nope," David replied, glancing angrily at Mike, then turning his attention
back to Kelly.  "Well, it's good to see you once in a while."

"Yeah, sorta miss you," Kelly answered, once again slightly slurring his
words.

"Aww, isn't that cute?  The two homos miss each other," Mike sneered.
"C'mon Kel, let's get out of here before they make us queer."

Kelly turned to an angry David and whispered, "Sorry."  Then, Mike got up
from the table, followed by Kelly, who was almost acting like a trained
puppy dog (David thought).  They made their way out of the bar as Mark and
Vic walked back over to the table.  They took their seats and smiled sadly
at David.  "So how long's he been toking?"

"Huh?"

"Smoking pot, man," Vic explained.

"No way," David said.  "He just looked tired or something."

The other two shook their heads.  Mark said, "Look, Dave, I hate to tell
you this, but your friend was high as a kite.  So was his asshole brother."

David stared after the brothers as they left The Hole.  Kelly had told him
he had tried pot, but didn't like it.  David got sort of upset at the news
and immediately started blaming Mike for it.  The more he bitched, the
angrier Kelly had become.  Soon it had turned into a full- fledged
argument, Kelly defending his brother and David accusing him.  It had ended
on a bad note when Kelly had told David to just mind his own business and
drown his sorrows in a beer like his father.  A week later, David had
apologized and Kelly had accepted, but there was a distance between them
now that had never existed before.

"He told me he wasn't gonna do it anymore," David replied, turning his
attention back to the other two teens.

"He lied, man," Vic stated.

David got drunk that night.  Vic and Mark half-carried him back to the
dorm, after he heaved his guts out in the bar's bathroom.  He woke up the
next morning, still fully dressed on the floor of their dorm room with a
splitting headache and a dry mouth.  He thanked his neighbors, who just
grinned, and went back to his own room, collapsing on the bed.  "No more,"
he moaned.

##########

David confronted Kelly the following Monday.  Kelly admitted to smoking
with his brother and apologized profusely to David saying it would never
happen again.  Then he questioned David's drinking, which almost led to
another argument.  David ended their discussion with, "I love you, Kel."
Then he turned around and left.  Kelly didn't smoke again for months, and
he and David began to repair the rift that had opened between them earlier
in the year.  They spent Spring Break back home, the last weekend together
- making love like they used to.  Chad had made an appearance, and the
three took another cruise in David's car, going through a tank of gas
driving through the mountains.  It was a good weekend.

They resumed the last semester, digging into the books, getting ready for
finals that were in six weeks.  Every so often, Mark and Vic would take a
break from their own studies and the three would head for The Hole to let
off a little tension.  Kelly came once, but afterwards always excused
himself.  David knew Kelly didn't like to see him drink, but after that
first time, David learned how to nurse his beer for an hour, then switch to
soda.  David wasn't worried that Kelly was smoking again.  He had promised
David over Spring Break that he was done with it.  Life seemed to be
getting better.

Finals came and went, David managed a "B" average and Kelly an "A-."  They
packed their clothes and stuff they accumulated over the last nine months
and headed back home.  Mark and Vic exchanged addresses and phone numbers
with David, and they promised to keep in touch over the summer.

Back home, life slipped into a routine.  David worked 40-hour weeks, saving
money for the next year's books.  He and Kelly spent a few good weekends
together, but coordinating was a chore since Kelly worked weekends and
David didn't.  Being back home and holding Kelly on those nights they were
together made David forget the problems they had at school.  It was like
old times.  Chad was a big part of their activities over the summer, all
three enjoyed spending time with each other.

##### VIGNETTE #7 - Freshman Summer - August #####

"So what time you have to be home?" asked David.

"Ummm, nine," replied Chad from the passenger seat.

David looked at his watch, it was almost eight.  "Cool, we have like an
hour yet."

Chad laughed and punched David's shoulder lightly.  Then he slipped another
tape into the tape deck, and relaxed back into the seat.  They continued to
travel out a back road through the woods, enjoying each other's company and
the music coming through the speakers.

"So you think he quit?" asked Chad.

"Yeah, I think so."

"Good," Chad stated.

"Yeah."  Then he admitted, "You know I tried it once."

"What!?"

"Yeah, once Kel had some and asked if I wanted to try.  I ended up with a
headache and cotton mouth, and didn't feel any different."

"Did you do it again?"

David looked over, hearing the concern in the younger boy's voice.  He
smiled, "Nah, that was it."

"Good."

"Glad you think so."

"Dave, got something I wanna ask you."

David grinned, "Uh oh, that sounds serious."

"Sorta," Chad replied seriously.  "Ummm, how come you started saying 'love'
at the end of your letters?  Sorta freaked me out."

"Sorry, man.  Just felt like the right thing to do.  I mean, you're like a
little brother and all.  I won't do it any more, okay?"

"That's okay, I sorta like it," Chad admitted quietly, blushing.

"Oh, okay, well if you don't mind, then I'll keep on doing it."

"Cool."  Then after a pause, "A little brother, huh?"

"Sorta, yeah, but more of a good friend.  I mean I don't even sign letters
to my parents that way," David admitted.

"Really?"

"Really."

"So, I'm special?" Chad asked, giggling.

"Yeah, 'spose you are, kiddo."

"Cool."  Chad slid over in the seat and leaned against David, who draped
his arm over Chad's shoulders.  Chad patted David's thigh, then slid his
hand back to his own leg.  David grinned to himself and squeezed the boy's
shoulders.  They started making their way back toward Chad's, the sky
darkening into twilight.  They were just turning into Chad's driveway, when
the boy leaned up and kissed David's cheek, then slid over to the other
side of the seat, and stared out the window.

David pulled to a stop, and Chad opened the door, starting to get out.
"What?  No bye?"  David asked.

Chad paused, then turned to face a grinning David.  Even in the dark, David
could see the blush across Chad's face.  "Sorry," he mumbled, "didn't mean
to do that."

"What?  The not saying goodbye or the kiss?"

"Both," Chad admitted, blushing harder.

David laughed, then reached over to squeeze Chad's shoulder.  "I didn't
mind either."

Chad looked up into David's grinning face.  "Really?"

"Really."

"Okay, cool, well I gotta go.  See ya later."

"Yep, kiddo, but I go back to school in a week.  If I don't see you before
then, write me, okay?"

"Okay, I will."  Then Chad was out the door, and running up the porch
steps.  David waited until the door opened, returning Mrs. Murray's wave,
and went back home.

When he walked in the house, his mom greeted him with, "David, Kelly called
about an hour ago, you're supposed to call him back."

"Thanks."

He picked up the phone and dialed Kelly's number.  "Hey," he said to
Kelly's voice.

"Hey, Dave.  Mom and Dad wanna know if you want a ride back to school on
Wednesday."

"That would be cool, but will you all have enough room?"

"Yeah, dad's renting a trailer."

"Well, yeah, thanks."

Kelly chuckled on the other end, "Did you know Mike flunked?"

"What?"

"Yeah," Kelly laughed.  "Has to go back this year again.  He's on like
academic probation.  Mom and dad are really uptight."

Biting off what he really wanted to say, David asked, "Is he going back
with us?"

"No, he's already gone.  He has to get an apartment this year."

"Oh, man, that sucks," David said, but with a grin.

"Yeah, so can you be here like at noon on Wednesday?"

"Hold on," he covered the phone and went to tell his parents about the
offer of a ride.  His parents were okay with it, neither had really wanted
to take a day off to drive David back to school, and had planned to just
take him down over the weekend.  He informed Kelly that he would be there
and hung up the phone.

##########

Once again, David and Kelly were in different rooms, but it didn't seem to
be as big a deal as it was the previous year.  This year, Kelly was on a
different floor as well, but Mark and Vic were once again next door to
David.

##### VIGNETTE #8 - Sophomore Year - August #####

"David, can I talk to you?" Mrs. Sites asked him when her husband and
youngest son were out of earshot.

David watched them start lugging Kelly's footlocker inside the dorm before
turning back to Mrs. Sites with a smile.  "Sure."

"Look," she began embarrassed, "Len and I know that you two are best
friends.  And we know that you're really close."

"Uh oh," David thought.

"So, I guess what I want to ask is whether you've taken notice to a change
in Kelly?"

Mentally breathing a sigh of relief, he replied, "Sort of, yeah, I mean
we're almost 20 now, I guess we're both growing up."

"Well, if that's all you think it is, then good," she replied, the relief
obvious in her voice.  "We just don't want him to turn out like Mike.  Keep
an eye on him, okay?"

"I will, Mrs. Sites," David replied softly, then Mrs. Sites was hugging him
tightly.

"Hey!  Where's mine?" came Kelly's voice from behind them.

Mrs. Sites released David and gave him a warm smile, then turned to hug
Kelly.  "You do well again this year, Kelly.  Okay?"

"I will, no sweat," Kelly laughed, extricating himself from his mom.  He
gave his dad a brief hug, and they watched as Kelly's parents drove off
through the campus.

Kelly punched David's shoulder, "Big bad sophs this year man."

"Well, dunno about big and bad, but definitely sophs," David replied
laughing.

Still laughing and joking, they went into the dorm to set up their
respective rooms.

##########

The first part of the semester went well for both David and Kelly.  They
had discovered the 'swing of things,' and soon settled into a routine.
Mike remained distant, they saw him on campus once in a while, but he
seemed to keep his distance.  David, Kelly, Mark, and Vic had some marathon
study sessions before midterms, and all of them seemed to get along great.

Christmas break came and went, David and Kelly managing to 'unwrap their
gifts' before going back to the grind of classes and books.  Semester
finals were on the horizon, and all four worked late in the night studying
together.  David did take notice that Mike's name was returning to Kelly's
vocabulary, but since he never saw them together, he basically ignored it.

##### VIGNETTE #8 - Sophomore Year - January 9 #####

"Kel, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothin', why?"

"You knock on my door at two in the morning, piss off my roommate, and then
all you can do is laugh."

They were sitting in the common room on David's dorm floor.  David dressed
in a pair of jeans, and Kelly in a disheveled pair of jeans, t-shirt, and
winter jacket.  He reeked of marijuana, and David was not pleased.

"Dave," Kelly consoled, "it's not a big deal, man."

David lowered his voice and sat beside Kelly on the sofa.  "It is to me.
Dammit, Kel, you know how hard it is to see you like this?"

Kelly laughed, "Hard?"

"You know what I mean.  I guess you were at Mike's?" David asked.

"Yeah, his apartment is so cool.  You should come over sometime."

"So why are you hanging around with Mike anyway?  You couldn't stand him in
high school."

"He's my brother, Dave," Kelly replied angrily.  "Just because you don't
get along with your family, doesn't mean I have be the same way."

"He's an asshole, Kel."

"No, he's not," Kelly's voice was rising.

"Okay, you're right.  He IS your brother," David agreed, hoping to keep
Kelly calm so he wouldn't cause a scene.

"Damn, right," Kelly answered, then got up and started pacing the room.  He
walked over to David, bent down, and whispered, "So, ya wanna go somewhere
and fuck?"

"No, Kel, I don't.  Not like this.  And where would we go?  It's freezing
outside.  We haven't done much lately anyway.  Why now?"

"I'm fucking horny," Kelly giggled.

David sighed, but grinned despite the situation.  Kelly noticed the grin
and put his hand on David's bare chest.  "C'mon, let's go somewhere."

David stood up.  "The only place we're going is your room.  Let's go."

"But my roommate is there," Kelly complained, then he lit up with a stupid
grin.  "You wanna fuck him too?"

"No, Kel, I don't.  I want to get you back to your room, that's all."

"Don't you love me any more?" Kelly pouted.

"You know I do, Kel.  Dammit, I hate it when you're like this.  Why did you
have to start?"

"Start what?  Oh, smoking?  'Cos it's fun.  You should try it.  Better than
that stupid beer you drink.  Are you trying to be like your dad?"

That comment stung David.  He knew it came from the stupor Kelly was in,
but it still hurt.  He stood up to face his best friend.  "Leave my dad out
of this.  This is between you and me."

"Well then, you leave Mike out of it," Kelly replied triumphantly.

"C'mon, Kel, let's get you back to your room."

"What?  So you can go back and fuck around with Mack and Nick?"

"It's Mark and Vic, Kel.  And no, they aren't like that."  David grasped
Kelly's arm and guided him toward the door.

Kelly stopped him at the door and wrapped him in a hug.  "I love you, you
know that?"

"Yeah, Kel, I know.  I love you too.  Let's get you in bed, okay?"

"Okay, daddy," Kelly giggled.

David managed to get Kelly back to his room, undressed and in bed before
his roommate woke up.  After explaining the situation, and hearing that
Kelly had been coming back like this a lot, he returned to his own room
where his roommate was once again snoring.  He climbed into bed and was
still awake when the alarm rang the next morning.

##########

****Fup's Note****

The college I went to was on a trimester system the first two years.  The
first "mester" was the longest (due to the amount of holiday breaks
involved), with the other two being equal in length.  Christmas Break ended
a week before "mester" exams.  The week between was normally spent
reviewing the work covered the previous few months.

********

David was still thinking how Kelly had changed.  He knew that being away
from home was a new experience for them, but this was their second year.
All of that should be over by now.  He had to admit, Kelly's offer in the
common room aroused him, but there was no way and, more important, no place
for him to take Kelly up on it.

His attention span over the weekend was nonexistent.  He went through his
normal routine like a zombie.  His concern for Kelly, mixed with the
upcoming midterm exams, had him on edge.

He had spent the rest of Saturday and Sunday studying for his exams as best
he could, walking down to Kelly's room to see how he was doing.  One thing
he had to give Kelly, was that he was hitting the books hard.  They chatted
for a few minutes each time David visited, and it was almost like old
times.

Exams started on Wednesday.  David did as best he could, and was somewhat
satisfied with his efforts.  Of course, when the grades were released, it
could be another story.  His last exam was on Friday and he heaved a sigh
of relief when he walked out of the classroom and back to his room.
Passing Mark and Vic's room, he stuck his head in and asked Mark, who was
the only one there, how he made out.  He answered Mark's positive response
with his own, then went to his room and relaxed on the bed for a few
minutes.

He heard Vic come back, and soon the two of them were standing over David's
bunk, grinning.

##### VIGNETTE #8 - Sophomore Year - January 16 #####

"So, you wanna go out tonight?  Let off a little steam?" Vic asked.

"Yeah, sounds fun," David replied.

"Excellent, we'll stop by in a couple hours and head out."

After they left, David walked down to Kelly's room.  Kelly's roommate was
watching TV in the common room, so he knocked on the room door.  No answer,
so he knocked again.

"He went out with his brother," Kelly's roommate said as he approached.
"Heard ya knocking, so I thought I'd tell ya.  You just missed 'em."

"Oh, okay, thanks.  He say anything about when he was coming back?"

"Nope, he never does."

"Okay, thanks," David smiled and went back up to his room.  "He's with that
fucking Mike," he thought angrily.  His room was too small, so he tossed on
his jacket and walked to the rec hall.  He shot a few games of pool, and
played some Foosball with a couple of fellow students he knew, then headed
back to the dorm.

Mark and Vic were waiting in their room.  David looked at his watch,
noticing it was time for them to leave.  He walked into their room,
apologizing.

"Sorry, man, got involved in a killer Foosball game."

The other two laughed and asked how he did.

"Sucked, as usual.  Be right there, okay?"

The three spent a few hours at The Hole, Mark and Vic downing beer, while
David stuck to Pepsi.

"What's that?" Mark asked, pointing toward David's glass.  "You watching
your weight?"

"Yeah, have to keep this sexy body, ya know?" David laughed.

"You sure there's no alcohol in there?" Vic asked.  "Because you're getting
delusional."

"You're just jealous," David laughed.

Mark motioned toward David with his glass.  "Of that?  Don't think so."

They continued to drink and talk the rest of the night, finally leaving The
Hole around one in the morning.  Mark and Vic were still slightly tipsy,
but had stopped drinking an hour before so they could walk back to their
room.

Walking up the street, Vic asked, "So where's your pothead friend tonight?"

David shrugged, "And he's not a pothead."

"If you say so," Vic answered.  "So why do you hang around him anyway?"

For the rest of the walk back to their dorm, David filled the other two in
on his friendship with Kelly.  Not all of it, of course, but after he was
finished, they had a better understanding of the two's closeness.  When
they arrived at their rooms, they said their goodnights and David slept the
best he had in the last few days.

##########

****Fup's Note****

I struggled with how to write this part.  So bear with me.  Anyway, no
melodrama, no extraneous dialogue here - as a matter of fact, it's probably
the most accurate dialogue in the story.  January 17th is a day that is
burned into my memory.

******** ##### VIGNETTE #9 - Sophomore Year - January 17 #####

David stretched luxuriously.  Amazing what a good night's sleep can do.
And the fact exams were over.  He looked at the alarm clock, nine thirty in
the morning - and Saturday.  If Kelly was back from Mike's, maybe they
could hang out and have some fun.  He laid in bed a few more minutes,
noticing his roommate was already gone, then rolled out of bed, and got his
shower stuff.  He wrapped a towel around his waist and padded down the
hallway to the showers.  As he entered the dressing room area, he heard a
shower running.  David stripped, snagged his soap and shampoo, and walked
into the tiled shower area.  As he turned on the spigots, he shot a quick
glance to where the other guy was standing with his back toward him, the
hot water beating down over his head and back.  He looked familiar to
David, and was obviously unaware of his presence.  David stepped under the
spray and started washing.  The other shower shut off, and David heard the
other student start to walk behind him as he was washing his face.

"David?  Hey."

David rinsed off his face and turned to see Mark.  He looked terrible and
David started grinning.  "Rough night?"

Mark grimaced and wrapped his arms across his chest.  Then he moved to the
showerhead beside David, turning on the water.  David raised his eyebrows
at Mark's actions.  Mark grinned wryly, once again stepping under the hot
spray.

"Gotta stay warm if we're gonna talk," he explained.

David laughed, "Okay, man, whatever."  Then he started soaping the rest of
his body as he and Mark chatted about exams and the previous evening.

"Betcha the women like that," he heard Mark chuckle.

David shot a glance at Mark to see his eyes focused on his crotch.  He
laughed at the comment, then looked Mark over.  "You ain't so bad
yourself."  Mark was a natural blond, and had a pretty nice-sized dick
surrounded by a darker thatch of hair.

"Thanks," Mark laughed.  Then the conversation resumed where it had left
off as David finished washing and rinsing.  Naked, the two walked back to
the dressing area and began to dry off.  "Man," Mark sighed, "that feels a
lot better."

David raised his head and once again looked over Mark's body.  He was
good-looking, that was for sure, and David felt himself start to firm up.
He laughed at Mark's comment, and quickly finished drying off, pulling his
gym shorts over his lengthening dick.  Mark laughed at his actions.

"Hey, don't sweat it, man.  It happens at the dumbest times.  I mean it's
not like we're homos or anything."

David nodded, noticing Mark was firming up as well.  He grinned, and nodded
toward Mark's crotch.  "Yeah, seems to have a mind of its own, huh?"

Mark looked down, and fondled himself briefly, then looked up with a grin.
"Yeah, that's why it gets along with women so well."

David laughed, and waited while Mark slipped on his briefs, wrapping a
towel around his waist.  They moved to the sinks, brushing their teeth and
performing their normal morning routines.  They walked together back the
hallway, joking around in low voices, nodding to the other floor residents
as they passed.

"C'mon in," Mark offered.

David looked down at himself, still only clad in gym shorts.  Then he
shrugged and grinned, following Mark into his room.  He sat in Vic's desk
chair while Mark finished dressing, whispering their conversation so as not
to wake the other boy up.  Mark nodded toward his roomie and said, "He had
to get up and barf last night.  Poor guy just can't hold his liquor.  So
whatcha doin' today?"

"Dunno, figured Kel and I could go in town or something.  We haven't had a
whole lot of time to hang out lately."

Mark nodded, then smiled.  "He needs to quit toking, man."

"Yeah, I know," David sighed.  "But I can't tell him what to do.  He's
always been a hard- head."

"No wonder you two are such good friends then," Mark laughed.

David grinned and shook his head.  "Let's go to my room, John's gone, so we
don't have to worry about wakin' anyone up.  And I need to get dressed."

"Cool," Mark replied.

David changed into clean clothes while Mark sat in his chair and looked
over the stuff on David's desk.

"So how come you don't have any like family pictures or anything?"

David pulled a sweater over his head, then turned to sit on the edge of his
bed to pull his shoes and socks on.  "Well, it's sorta weird, but I don't
really get along with them."

"Oh, sorry to hear that," Mark empathized.

David shrugged, then stood up, "No big deal.  Shit happens, ya know?"

"Yeah, true," Mark agreed.  "So where ya headin' to now?"

"Gonna drift down to see if Kel's awake yet."

"Okay, man," Mark smiled, standing up and making his way toward the door.
"Catch ya later?"

"Yeah, probably, I'm like a bad penny, ya know."

Mark laughed, shook his head, and left.  David walked down to Kelly's room,
meeting his roommate coming out the door.

"He's not there, man."

"Oh?"

"Nope, didn't come back last night.  Must have had a hot date," Kelly's
roommate grinned.

"Yeah, probably.  I'm gonna leave him a note, I'll lock up, okay?"

"Sure, no problem."

David sat at Kelly's desk, and wrote a note to have Kelly come to the rec
hall when he got back, if he felt like it.  Then he locked the door and
started toward the rec hall.  He was halfway there when he heard a shout
behind him.  He turned to find Mark walking quickly toward him.  He grinned
at Mark's serious expression, but Mark wasn't lightening up.

"Come to get beat at Foosball?" David asked, still smiling.

"No," Mark replied, then looked around them.  He grabbed David's arm,
pulling him toward an unpopulated area of the quad, next to a copse of
trees.

"What the hell, Mark?  It's too cold to neck out here," David joked.

"Just shut up a sec will you?"

"Oooh, this must be serious," David smiled.  Then he grimaced as Mark's
grip tightened.  "Let up man.  What the hell is wrong with you?"

Mark kept his grip on David's arm, but loosened it a bit.  He looked into
David's face, then to the ground.

"Mark, what's going on?  Vic have a wet dream or something?" David tried to
lighten the mood a little.

"Shut the fuck up, Dave."

David sighed, then sat on the bench, looking up at Mark.  "What?"

Mark averted his gaze, looking over David's head into the trees.  "Your
buddy's in the hospital."

"Quit fucking with me, Mark," David warned.

"I'm not.  That's what I heard.  He's in the hospital, pretty bad shape."

David stared at Mark, trying to figure out if he was telling the truth, or
was just a bad-taste joke on Mark's part.  "What happened?" he asked.

Mark shrugged, "Dunno, just heard about it."

David hung his head.  Conflicting emotions ran through his brain.  Then he
looked up at Mark and said evenly, "If you're fucking with me..."

Mark shrugged, "Only telling you what I heard.  Maybe you oughta call his
parents or brother or something."

"Yeah, maybe I'll go see Mike, he should know."

"Yeah, want me to come with you?"

"Better had, Mike and I don't play well together."

"Know where he lives?"

"Not really, but it's probably in the phone book."

"Dave, you okay, man?  It's like you're a zombie or something," Mark asked
worriedly.

"I'm fine, let's find a phone booth."

They walked silently toward the nearest booth, Mark glancing over at
David's expressionless face every so often.  They looked through the book
until they found Mike's address.  David tore the page out of the phone
book, and silently started walking in the direction of Mike's apartment.

"Dave, c'mon man.  You sure this is a good idea?"

David stopped and faced Mark.  "It was YOUR idea.  I just need to know
what's going on."  Then he started walking again.

It took them 20 minutes to find the street listed in the phone book.  As
they walked down the street toward Mike's, David noticed the Sites' family
car in the apartment complex parking lot.  He stopped and stared.  Mark
grabbed his arm.

"What?"

"It's their car.  The parents'," David stated evenly.

"Oh, so now what?"

David didn't answer, just started walking again.  He was about 100 feet
away from the main entrance when he saw Mrs. Sites exit the building with
Mike.  She glanced in his direction, then continued walking.  Realizing
then who he was, she stopped and faced him.  Mike stood still, head down,
as David and Mrs. Sites stared at each other.  David noticed the haggard
look on her face.  The red eyes and dejected slump of her body told him
everything he needed to know.

He hung his head as silent tears began running down David's face.  His
previous 'on a mission' attitude collapsed as he realized that what Mark
had told him was true.  He heard footsteps approaching him, and looked up
through blurry eyes to see Mrs. Sites and Mike coming closer.  Mark backed
away a few steps as Mrs. Sites wrapped her arms around David, hugging him
tightly.  David sagged into her arms, and the tears turned into sobs.  Then
Mrs. Sites put her hands on his shoulders and held him at arms' length.

"David, look at me."

David's head remained facing the sidewalk.  Mrs. Sites put one hand under
his chin, and lifted his head to look at him.

"David, listen to me, okay?"

David nodded.

"Kelly passed away last night on the way to the hospital.  He had a bad
reaction to something and it was too late by the time he got to the
hospital."

David remained silent as he digested the news.  His expression changed as
he looked toward Mike, who immediately dropped his head again.  David
shrugged off Mrs. Sites' hands and took two steps toward Mike, his body
tight with grief and anger.  He whispered to Mike's downcast face, "I will
kill you.  You're the fucking bastard that started all this.  I am going to
find you and kill you, you fucking asshole."  He drew his fist back, only
to be restrained by Mark's grip.

David swung around as best he could, wrapped in Mark's arms.  Glaring at
Mark, he said quietly, "Let me go, I'm gonna kill him."

"David, stop it.  It's not solving anything," Mrs. Sites' voice cut into
his head.

David spun toward her, pointing at Mike.  "He killed Kelly, don't you
understand?  Now comes pay back time."

"Dave, stop," Mark ordered.

"Let me go, asshole."

"No way, Dave.  No way in hell am I letting you go.  So deal with it."

"Fuck you," David spat, then tried unsuccessfully to yank his arms from
Mark's grip.  He turned to Mike again, and said in an even voice, "I'm
gonna kill you, asshole.  Just remember that.  If I hated you before, it
didn't even come close."

The confrontation had attracted the attention of various residents of the
building, but the low tone of their conversation wasn't audible to anyone
outside the immediate area.  It just looked to everyone else that a fight
had been disrupted, not worth a second glance, the other people carried on
with their daily business.

"David, listen to me," Mr. Sites' voice broke through the red haze in
David's brain.  He was still trying to jerk away from Mark, then his route
was blocked by Kelly's father, who stood right in front of him, allowing
his wife and Mike to retreat.  He put a hand on David's shoulder and
squeezed gently, lowering his voice, "David, listen, it's not going to
solve anything."

"Yeah, it will," David argued.

"No, it won't," both Mr. Sites and Mark answered in tandem.

For some reason their stereo voices seemed hilarious to David who started
laughing.  His laughing jag turned into almost hysterics as he sagged to
the ground still in Mark's grasp.  He laughed until he couldn't catch his
breath, then started sobbing just as hard.  Mark, sitting behind him,
wrapped his arms around David's stomach.  "It's okay man, it's okay."

Mr. Sites knelt down to look into David's face.  "David, it's hard on all
of us.  None of us have the full story yet.  We won't know the truth until
the hospital finishes their tests."

David was still sobbing uncontrollably.  Mark hugged him back against his
chest and held on as David vented his emotions.  He looked over David's
shoulder and said, "Mr. Sites could you call the dorm and tell them to tell
Vic where we are?  He's my roommate."  He gave Mr. Sites the hall phone
number, and kept his grip on David as Mr. Sites went inside the building.

"Dave, man, it's okay," he tried.

"No, it's not, Mark," David hitched as his sobs subsided.

"Maybe not, but you're not gonna kill Mike."

"I hate him," David stated bluntly.

"Hate him all ya want, man.  But ya kill him, you go to jail."

"So?"

"Dave, stop it, man.  Now YOU'RE being an asshole."

"Just fuck you, Mark."

"I have a headache, Dave.  No chance of that right now."

"Is this funny to you?" David asked angrily.

"No, Dave, it's not funny at all.  It's sad, it's a waste, it pisses me
off, I'm in the middle of the sidewalk, hugging another guy - trying to
hold him back from murdering someone, no, not funny at all."

David was beginning to settle down a little.  "Well, maybe not kill him."

"Good," Mark responded from behind.

"He'll pay.  One way or another, he'll pay for it though.  You can let go
now."

"Nope, not til Vic gets here, or Kelly's dad comes back."

At the mention of Kelly's name, David started crying again.  "Dammit,
Mark."

Mark squeezed a little tighter.  "I know man, but you're sitting here
thinking that it was dope or something.  It might have been something else,
you know."

Footsteps approached once more, and Mr. Sites was once again kneeling down
to talk with David.  "You feeling any better now?"

"No," David replied.  Then he looked up at Mr. Sites, "Why?"

Getting the drift of David's question, he answered, "David, we don't know
yet.  We won't know for a couple days.  It's no sense in telling you what
the hospital said until we know for sure."

"It was dope, wasn't it?"

"We don't know for sure, David."

"I'll kill him," David mumbled under his breath.

"What?" asked Mr. Sites.

"Nothing.  I'm cold."

"Well, Mike and his mom went back to the hospital, we can go sit in Mike's
apartment where it's warm," Mr. Sites offered.

"NO!"

"Hey, Dave, settle down," Mark said from behind him.  "Vic's on his way and
we'll just go back to the dorm."

"That might be best," Mr. Sites agreed, talking over David's head to the
young man behind him.

The three sat there silently until Vic walked up.

"So what's...," he started, then stopped at the shake of Mark's head.

"Think you can make it back to the dorm?" asked Mr. Sites.

"If Mark let's go of me, I can."

Mr. Sites stood as Mark released his grip on David.  David looked around,
then got to his feet.  Mr. Sites put his hand on David's shoulder.  "David,
we'll talk later, okay?  For now, just go on back to the dorm and relax."

David nodded, noticing for the first time the sadness in the man's face.
He started silently crying again and wrapped his arms around Kelly's dad,
getting a fierce hug in return.  "You're still his best friend, David."
David answered with a sob, and Mr. Sites continued.  "Remember, you're
always welcome, okay?"

David nodded into the man's chest, his tears fading into an emotional
silence.  He gave Mr.  Sites another squeeze, then turned to find Mark and
Vic waiting to escort him back to the dorm.  From the look on Vic's face,
David could tell that he had been briefed on the 'situation' by Mark.

He turned back to Mr. Sites.  "You'll tell me?"

"Yes, David, we will."

David nodded, then turned and started toward Mark and Vic.  They were
silent as they plodded back toward the campus.

They were in Mark and Vic's room a few hours later, when they heard someone
knocking on David's room door.  David got up from the floor, closing the
book he had been trying to read, and opened Mark and Vic's door to see who
was knocking.

His parents were standing in front of his room door, and turned when they
heard the door open.  Both had serious expressions on their faces, his
mother actually showing a bit of sadness.

"What are you guys doing here?" David asked, closing the door behind him
and walking toward them.

"Mr. Sites called us, David.  Are you okay?" his mother asked.

David didn't reply immediately, just opened his room door, escorting his
parents inside.  His roommate had been suspiciously absent all day, and
David was appreciative of the gesture.  He motioned his parents to sit and
closed the door behind him, leaning against it.

"Yeah, I'm okay," he replied.

"You don't look okay," his mother observed.

David replied, a little exasperated, "Mom, my best friend just died, how do
you expect me to feel?"

"David, don't use that tone with your mother," his dad interjected.

David stared at his father, locking eyes.  His dad looked away first, and
David smiled inwardly.

"We rushed right down to make sure you were doing okay," his mom continued.

"I'm fine, mom."

"Well, we also thought it might be a good idea for you to come home for a
few days.  At least until after the funeral."

David jerked slightly at the word, then settled back down.  "But I have
classes."

"We called before we came down and told the man about your situation.  He
said that it would be okay, since the term is just starting."

"I guess that would be okay, then."

They were interrupted by a knock on the door.  David opened it to see Mark
and Vic standing in the hall with their coats on.

"We're going to dinner, wanna come?  Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Barker."

"Hello, boys," his mother answered.  "We're going to take David home with
us for a few days."

Mark shot a questioning glance at David.  "Coming back?"

"Yeah, I'll be back."  Then he turned to his parents, "Be right back,
okay?"

He went into the hallway, closing the door behind him.  "Hey listen, you
guys, thanks."

Mark and Vic grinned sadly.  "Don't mention it," Vic replied.

"I can tell you one thing though, David Barker," grinned Mark, "the next
time you call me an asshole, there will be hell to pay."  He looked quickly
up and down the hallway, then gave David a short, but fierce hug.  "Take
care of yourself, man.  We'll be waiting breathlessly for your return."

David chuckled, "You two go eat, I'll see ya in a couple days.  And
seriously, thanks again."  He put his hand on each of their shoulders and
squeezed, then smiled and went back into the room to pack.

##########

The next few days passed in a blur for David.  His family tried to get him
to open up, but it was doing no good.  After a day or two, they stopped
trying and went about their normal routines.  Lynn came into his room the
night he got back, and they both had a good cry over Kelly in his bedroom
with the door closed and locked.  Mr. Sites had stopped by one evening and
informed David that Kelly had a severe reaction to the PCP that had been in
one of the joints he smoked that night at Mike's.  Since marijuana and PCP
were controlled substances, and there was a death involved, Mike possibly
faced some jail time.  He kept his feelings to himself though, no need for
the Sites' to know he was actually elated at that possibility.

One incident at home stuck in his mind.  The day after Mr. Sites had
informed them of the cause of Kelly's death, David had come home and found
his mother in his room, going through his bureau.

##### VIGNETTE #10 - Sophomore Year - January #####

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Oh, David, I was just seeing if you had any dirty clothes to wash, then
thought I'd check to see if you needed socks or anything."

"Right," David scoffed.  "I'm not a little kid anymore, mom.  I can take
care of those things.  And anyway, that's not what you were doing in my
sweater drawer."

David's mother slid the drawer closed, then turned to him with a scowl.
"If you must know, after Mr. Sites left, your dad and I thought that you
might have been on drugs too, since Kelly was.  And we never thought Kelly
would do that, so maybe you were."

David boiled over, he lowered his voice and said, "Get the hell out of my
room.  How dare you think that.  If you'd know me, you'd know that I'd
never do that.  All you would have had to do was ask me."

"Don't you yell at me, David.  I'm your mother.  And people who use drugs
lie about it anyway."

"I'm not yelling.  Yes, you are my mother.  Just tell dad that I'm not on
drugs and let it go."

"Well, I tell him, David.  Everything you've said."

David shrugged, "I'm going back to school in a few days anyway, I don't
care."

"We'll see about that when your father gets home."

When David's father got home from work, he heard them talking in the living
room.  His father was angry at what David had said, but advised his wife to
ignore it since David was obviously 'distraught.'

David shook his head and went back to reading his Forestry textbook.

##########

A few days later, David was once again dressed in a suit and tie, sitting
in an uncomfortable chair in a funeral home.  He was sitting with his high
school friends instead of his parents this time.  He never thought he'd see
his friends cry, but it was happening.  Not that he should talk, his eyes
had been flowing since he ran into Sean in front of the funeral home.  His
parents had paused to wait for him, but he just waved them on, getting an
ominous look from his father.  He really didn't care anymore.  He was more
comfortable sharing funny stories about Kelly, laughing and crying at the
same time.  As the rest of the "Locker Loungers" arrived, they seemed to
draw strength from each other.  Soon they were quietly sharing memories of
high school and catching up on their lives since then.

Sean was in his second year of engineering school, had a steady girlfriend,
and was planning on moving out of state for a job.

Jim had finished his first year of college, then dropped out to go to
technical school and become an electrician.

Mark, still quiet, was also studying engineering, but was struggling,
barely maintaining a "C" average.  He and Sean got their heads together and
decided to run up their long distance bills whenever Mark had a problem.
He complained about the lack of a social life, his overly pitiful
expression getting chuckles from the rest of them.

Steve showed up last.  David had seen serious expressions before, but none
compared to the one on Steve's face when he saw David standing with the
others.  He walked up to David, tears running from his eyes, and wrapped
him in a huge bear hug, mumbling his apologies.  David hugged back, then
gently pushed him back.  He grinned sadly at Steve, then winked.  Steve
grinned a little, then joined in the conversation.  He had proposed to
Rhonda over Christmas Break, and she had accepted.  They were planning on
getting married when Steve graduated from college.

##### VIGNETTE #11 - Sophomore Year - January ###

David gasped for breath as he was hugged fiercely from behind.  He
recognized Chad's voice through his sobs.

"Dave, man, why?"

As Chad released him, David draped an arm over the boy's shoulders and gave
him a brief hug.  Then he knelt down to look into Chad's face.  "Hey, it's
okay, man.  Stuff happens all the time.  It was just bad luck.  I know it
sucks."  Then he hugged the younger boy tightly as he cried, talking to him
softly until he calmed down.  He looked into Chad's eyes again, and gave
him a sad smile, then he turned to face the rest of his friends, his arm
still across Chad's shoulders.

"Guys, this is Chad.  I used to babysit him and his sister when they were
younger.  Chad, this is Sean, Jim, Mark, and Steve."

Sean grinned, "So you're the one we spent all that time in the mall for
trying to buy a Christmas present?"  Then his grin dimmed as he remembered
the other member of their crew that day.  Sean filled Chad in on their
search for the 'perfect gift'.  David was surprised that Sean remembered
the incident, but the realized it was all part of the memories they were
all having.

David looked at his watch, "C'mon guys.  Time to go."  He looked down at
Chad, "Wanna sit with us?"

"Is that okay?"

David glanced around his circle of friends, getting affirmative nods.
"Sure, you were Kelly's friend too."

The five of them entered the room, and took their seats toward the back.
David noticed an empty chair next to his parents and shook his head, then
turned his attention to the service, keeping his arm draped over Chad's
shoulder.  The service concluded and the 'guests' were offered the chance
to pay their last respects.  David and his friends waited until most of the
others had left, then rose almost as one to approach the casket.  Sean just
stared, then brushed his hand across his eyes and walked away.  Jim and
Mark followed suit, then it was Steve's turn.  David started silently
crying as Steve put his fist to his chest, then dropped it to his side
without saying a word.  As David and Chad approached the casket, David
looked to where the family was still sitting.  He smiled sadly at them,
noticing Mike sitting at the end of the row watching him.  He stared at
Mike until the other boy averted his eyes, then turned to face the casket.
David put his hand on Kelly's cold folded ones and whispered, "Love you,
man.  See ya sometime."  Then he squeezed Chad's shoulders as the boy
whispered, "Bye," and began to sob, guiding him away.  The five of them
rode in the procession together in David's car, Chad riding shotgun and the
other three in back.  The ride was quiet until Sean said in a low voice,
"Boy, this brings back some memories."  The four older boys chuckled, and
David answered Chad's confused look with, "I'll tell ya later."

The grave side service was relatively short, and they drove back to the
Sites' for the reception.  On the way, David dropped the older guys off
back at the funeral home to pick up their own vehicles.  As they entered
the house, Dale walked over, holding out his hand.  After shaking hands
with the other four, he turned to David putting a hand on his shoulder.
"I've got something for you later, okay?"

David nodded and smiled, then they joined the rest of the guests, soon
breaking away into their own little group.  Sean was the first to bring it
up.  "So what happened?"

David sighed and leaned against the wall and recounted the story getting
looks of disbelief from the rest as he filled them in on the last few
months.  When he was finished, Steve looked at him and said, "And you put
up with that?"

"He put up with a lot from me," David admitted with a grin.  "Pay backs."

"I can't believe Mike,' Jim said.

"I don't see him around," Sean observed.

"Good," David spat, his feelings for Kelly's brother obvious.

Still chatting amongst themselves, they filled Chad in on their friendship
over the years, relating funny stories and memories.  Soon they were all
smiling, trying to outdo each other with the "remember whens."  As it got
later, the guests started to depart.  With promises to keep in touch, each
of his friends began to leave, stopping to offer their condolences to the
rest of the family.  Chad left with his parents a little later, and David
realized it was just he and family that remained.  He walked over to
Kelly's parents, and after receiving their hugs, he said, "I really want to
apologize for the way I acted that day."

Mr. Sites smiled.  "It's fine, David.  No apology needed.  It was a rough
day for all of us."

David nodded, then Dale grabbed his arm, guiding him toward the living
room.  "I'm gonna steal this guy for a bit," he smiled at his parents.

They ended up on the sofa in the living room and Dale handed David a box
with his name written on it.  David furrowed his eyebrows, and Dale
answered, "We found it in Kel's room, I think it was supposed to be a
Christmas present.  But you know how scatterbrained he was sometimes."

David grinned, then looked at the box again.  It was definitely Kelly's
scrawl on the box.  David had teased him about becoming a doctor since he
had the handwriting for it.  His eyes blurred at the thought, and he leaned
against Dale as the eldest brother slid his arm across David's shoulders.
Then Dale removed his arm and stood up.  He smiled at David, and said,
"Whatever you two had, it was between you.  You were his closest friend
Dave.  So whatever is in there should be between the two of you as well."
He turned away and walked back toward the kitchen.

David stared at the box.  Taking a breath, he pulled the top off, and found
what was inside under the cotton.  He started laughing and crying at the
same time as he held up the homemade seashell necklace.  As he was putting
it around his neck, he chuckled to the emptiness of the living room, "You
always had to have the last word, you goof."

##########

David returned to school the following week.  Mark and Vic noticed the
positive change in attitude from when he left.  David began to spend more
time with the two of them, and soon was back to his normal self, albeit a
little more sober.  He had a few bad times, mostly at night when the
memories came back with a rush, and at some points even hated Kelly for
dying, but as the days and weeks went on, they became less depressing.  He
missed Kelly with every part of him, but Dale's words on his way out of the
house after the reception had sunk in.  Dale had stopped him on the back
porch, pulled him aside and said, "He loved you, David.  Remember that.
Don't let him down."

Chad's letters came more frequently, and David noticed a change.  Chad was
now 15 and his letters had taken on a more adult tone.  Mostly they were
filled with what was going on with him, but he always managed to work in
how much he looked forward to seeing David again.

David also started receiving letters from Dale and his parents.  They went
a long way in confirming he was still part of their lives, even without
Kelly.  Dale told him on one letter that Mike had faced the decision of
jail time or military time...he chose the latter.

Sean, Jim, Mark, and Steve kept in touch as promised.  Their letters and
phone calls were filled with good and bad news from their end of the world.
Life does go on.

******************************************************************************
Well, there ya have it.  There's not a whole lot I can say that hasn't been
said.

BEFORE I start getting emails...the way Kelly died is NOT - I repeat, NOT -
a moral statement on my part about the use of any drug.  So please just
take it the way it is written - nothing more, nothing less.  There, now I
feel better.  lol

To all of you who have contacted me - NO, I'm not gonna list you here - I'd
probably forget someone (lol) - but you know who you are, THANKS for your
time and conversations.  It's meant a lot to me. :-)

And for those who are wondering - yes, I'm going to probably keep writing.
After all, life DOES go on.

And one final 'shout out.'  Kel, love ya man, and I'll see ya sometime.

And one final piece of sage wisdom (lol): Life is short, ride the roller
coaster - every downhill rush ends with another climb - you'll never regret
the ride!

****************************************************************************
LOOSE ENDS or WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

Okay, here we go....  The 'major' characters are first.

Dale: Dale and I kept in touch for years after Kel's death.  He was a great
big bro to me too.  Every January 17th, he'd call and talk, sometimes for
hours.  If he ever had any clue that his baby brother and I were
boyfriends, which I'm sure he did, he never brought it up.  He kept his
promise from the reception - what was between Kel and I stayed that way.
He got married during the summer of my junior/senior year of college - and
asked me to be part of the wedding party.  I was honored.  Now, he's got 3
kids, two girls and a boy, who have flown the coop and went out on their
own.  I still get a card every January, and I reply, but other than that,
no other contact.

Mike: After his stint in the military, he basically disappeared off the
face of the earth.  Dale didn't even know where he was.  My thoughts....who
cares?  I'm way above the hate I felt for the year or two after Kel died.
I can honestly say he's not worth the time.

The Sites': Kept in touch for quite a few years, but lost track when they
moved back to Germany.  Once again, they were like a second family.

Sean: After he graduated with an engineering degree, he married his steady
girl and moved to Florida.  We fell out of touch soon afterwards.

Jim: He did become an electrician, and ended up moving as well - got
married, then had a fatal heart attack a few years ago.

Mark: A few years after the funeral, I lost track.  So did everyone else.

Steve: Yes, he married Rhonda after college, moved to upstate Pennsylvania
where he played trumpet in a local orchestra for years.  Unfortunately,
Rhonda got tired of his 'lack of a real job' and divorced him soon
afterwards.  We also keep in touch somewhat regularly, exchanging cards and
phone calls every so often.  He remarried, this time a girl from the
orchestra, and is happily enjoying life.

Chad: Another story for another time...lol

The Murray's: When Chad went to college, they moved to Ohio.  Haven't heard
from them since.

Sally: Got pregnant in 12th grade.  Had the child, and gave it up for
adoption.  Other than that, I have no clue.

Rick: After 6th grade, our friendship turned into one of "acquaintance."
We never really hung out, and as you can tell from the story, he was never
one of the 'Locker Loungers.'  I see him once in a while at class reunions,
that's about it.

John: Also remained an acquaintance-type of friend.  Dropped out of Scouts
after achieving Eagle, and we never had any more 'experiences.'

Scott: Dropped out of Scouts when John did.  His hot-head got him into a
lot of trouble with the local constabulary over the years.  Last I heard,
he was in Alabama working construction.

Neal: Also dropped out of Scouts around the time Scott did.  Also about
that time, he was caught with another male friend doing 'nasty, dirty,
disgusting stuff.'  The family ended up moving out of town.  And (is this
irony?), he is now part owner of a 'alternate lifestyles' bar in NYC.

Bobby: We never 'messed' around after the first few times, and sort of went
our separate ways.  I saw him a few years ago at the local carnival.  He
now weighs probably 300 and stands about 5' 8".  He didn't recognize me,
and when I re-introduced myself, seemed to not remember even being
neighbors...lol

Dan: Reached Eagle Scout a year or two after me.  We never 'did' anything
more after Philmont.  He went to college and now works for a local
newspaper as an editor.

Bobby: Yes another one - this one is Dan's little bro.  Like Chad, a
different story for a different time.


And finally:

The Barker's:  My family...hmmm.  Well, the parents got divorced the year I
graduated college.  My father's libido and love of whiskey got the best
of him, I guess.  You didn't think he was bowling and working all the
time, did you?  A few years ago, he joined AA and has been sober
ever since.  For that, I admire him.  Don't see him a whole lot, but
when I do, we're 'buds.'  After the divorce, my mom moved to an
apartment in the same town.  She's dated a few times, and we're
relatively close, but there's still that wall there.  Over the years, both
of us have tried to chip away at it little by little.  My sister and I are
pretty tight.  Go figure, huh?  She married right out of high school and
I have a 17 year-old niece and 13 year-old nephew.  While my sister
may suspect my 'preferences,' she doesn't know for sure.  The rest of
my family has no clue.  While this might seem a bad thing, it's
not...believe me.

Me: LOL, suffice it to say, I'm lovin' life - no regrets.  I still miss Kel
terribly, and the 17th of January is still kind of a rough day, but life
goes on - and I'm still ridin' that roller coaster..lol

If there's anyone I missed, let me know.

Please feel free to contact me with any questions or feedback.

The next series, for those of you interested in more of David's sage, will
be titled "Life After Kelly."  Until then, toodles. :-)

email:  fupduckmd@yahoo.com
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