Date: Tue, 29 May 2012 22:01:47 -0700
From: Johnathan Seymour <johnathanseymour@hotmail.com>
Subject: Unrequited, Chapter 1, high school

Legal Writing: I do not want anyone copying or unrightfully stealing, so
don't steal! Copyrights belong to me and only me, but this is for your own
personal enjoyment. Please do share this story to other users to read as
well, but do not and I repeat, copy this work. Thank you.

All rights of the story rightfully belong to me and myself only. Email me
for further information. Email at johnathanseymour@hotmail.com

***Important***

I'm pretty sure that some people who are reading this are like WTF? I have
an explanation for the reasons that I did not finish the "Found Love"
series. First, life is very tiring and throws complicated things in the
way, making the last few weeks emotional for me. I don't wanna talk about
it, so please don't ask. Also, to add to that, my computer decided to be a
bitch and crash on me, forcing me to get a new computer and nothing was
backed up, so all my prepared chapters are all going to a waste. Gone
forever.

Also, I have a series schedule as well. Found Love was suppose to get it's
series finale next month. But due to serious lack of time, it was delay a
million times, making the releases less and less fast.

So, "Found Love" is officially ending. But it isn't going to be an
unattended floating series on here at Nifty. With that said, I will finish
the series with two chapters to the Homecoming conclusion. I think it'll be
a good way to end the series without leaving too much.

I am terribly sorry, but I need to start the pilot chapter of this new
series, "Unrequited"! I hope you guys are excited as I am! Also, this
series is right on time! Perfect summer release! I hope you guys like this
story, as I thoroughly thought the whole plot lines of this series.

Let's start ehh?

Chapter 1: Pilot

What ever happened to love stories like you see on TV and in the theaters?
They're exactly what they are. They're movies, meaning that they are not at
all, real. People sit in the movies and think to themselves that they will
experience that same Nicholas Sparks' feeling in books like "The Notebook",
"The Last Song", or even "A Bend in the Road". No, they're just made up to
make people cry and more emotional. I, for one, was one of those
people. Then, I realized that love like that doesn't exist and that it's
all just a sham. It's a lie when two people kiss and fall in love at first
sight--it's completely unrealistic.

Love fucking sucks. Hard.

Yeah, I should know.

As I was faced down in the pillow, clutching the bedsheets, I tried to
think of something else other than the fact that Bobby Maxwell was fucking
me. I couldn't see Bobby, but I could definitely feel his 11 inch cock
slide in and out of me because I was silently crying into the navy blue,
memory foam pillow that my face was smothered in. I didn't want Bobby to
notice, because I didn't want him to get mad or ask me any questions, it
makes me sad and want to cry. So I tried to just let the tears come out
without making crying sounds, just occasional moans and "ouchs" that I get
from his large dick being shoved and rammed inside me. Plus, he couldn't
see me cry for I was lying faced down and also it was still pretty dark for
the morning anyways.

Bobby put his strong, large hands on my shoulders for leverage, bring me up
and off the pillow and started to power thrust his 11 inch into me even
stronger with his muscular legs and thighs. This made it hurt a hell of a
lot more for me, but I didn't say anything, just tried not to look weak and
tired to Bobby.

I thought of how tired I was, awoken to Bobby's text for me to come
over. He did this at 3 am in the morning, and I only had 3 hours from sleep
before he had texted me. Of course, I forced myself to get up and come
over, putting me in this position that I am in now. Strangely, I was sort
of okay with doing what Bobby and I were doing, but sometimes I cried
because of the circumstances of our relationship. But I didn't want Bobby
to see that either, he would have worried or gotten mad at me and I didn't
want that.

"Tate, fuck," Bobby moaned, continuing to impaling me numbly with his large
cock deep inside.

I groaned and moaned in response, because he kept hitting a sweet spot in
me that was literally forcing me to clutch the bedsheets even harder than
before.

As he fucked me harder and harder, taking stronger, longer thrusts, I knew
he was close to cumming and I knew the procedure for what Bobby liked to do
during sex. I tensed up and whispered sexual things to Bobby that he would
like to hear, turning him on even more.

"It feels so fucking good, Bobby," I moaned, feeling overwhelmed with sex.

I looked over to see Bobby's sexy body that was highlighted by the
moonlight illuminating through the large window in his room. I admired his
body, because he had a chiseled six-pack and v-cuts that a lot of guys
would be jealous of. Unlike me, who was just an average, skinny boy that
was totally dominated by Bobby's greatly toned body in all regions. Also,
he had a light blond happy trail that I liked so much, because it was
attractive to me and didn't make him the typical Abercrombie & Finch
perfect ad model. Then I saw his perfectly flawless face, with his baby
face that made girls drool all around school, which does happen
actually. Then his gold, blonde locks fell in front of his crystal blue
eyes that made you want to melt. Overall, Bobby was hella-sexy, and I had
that to myself. Or at least, that's what I want to believe.

Then, Bobby hit another sweet spot in me that send me into a sex, ecstasy
state. Damn, Bobby sure did know the sweet spots in my ass well, making
sure that I was on the edge of cumming like he was.

But that's what I liked about him. He knew how to touch you right and make
sure that you felt just as sexually high as he was. He just wasn't the type
not to share anything, especially his cock, with me. I loved his cock as
much as he loved it, meaning that was good for the both of us.

He grabbed both my arms with his strong, bugling arms that looked like
Rambo's and pulled me up to his refined, hot body. I felt his warmth on my
body, touching his hard six-packs, and his big, muscular arms wrapped
around my scrawny twink-esque body. I felt like a girl at this point,
feeling small in the arms of a guy that was sexy and hot--totally awesome
in my opinion.

I felt his hot breath on my neck as he continued to plow me from behind,
making it completely and utterly flawlessly perfect, like I molding onto
his body. It was like those intense sex scenes on an r-rated romance movie,
except this was reality instead.

"Tate, I love you so much," Bobby whispered into my ear, holding my face to
his soft, blue-eyed face. I felt his blonde hair caress my face, sending
shivers down my spine.

I knew Bobby meant his love for me, but I wasn't sure if he meant it for
the sex or for me. I didn't want to think about it though, it also made me
want to cry. Instead, I thought about Bobby and how hot he was. At least
that took away those thoughts.

"Bobby," I whispered, moaning with lust in my voice.

"Huh Tate? You like it?" he moaned into my ear, his voice was music to my
ears. Husky and boyish.

I closed my eyes, letting him take over from that point on.

"Bobby, I love it," I replied, each inhale taking in Bobby's fresh, soft
Axe scent on him.

He kissed my neck and pushed me back down to the pillow and turned me over,
taking his large cock out of me, painfully. It had felt like finally taking
a knife out of me from the behind, in this case--it was Bobby's cock.

"Ow," I said, as he pulled the final inches out of me.

He smiled, and started jerking his big cock, slick with lube. I was lying
on my back, my legs spread out with him in between, jerking his cock. The
sight of Bobby jerking off his large cock was so hot, I grabbed my 7 inch
cock and started to jerk off with him, wanting to cum the same time as him.

Bobby's full body view was beautiful, like he was Adonis in the garden of
Eden. I felt ugly compared to him with my skinny body that was weak and
scrawny. My dull brown hair compared to his blonde hair, my hazel eyes to
his superior blue ones, and much more. I was not worth and lucky to even be
in the presence of Bobby Maxwell, or at least that's how it was.

He smiled his pearly, white teeth, making me melt basically.

"Tate, you're so fucking hot. I just wanna cum every time I see your hot
ass." he said, jerking his rock-hard cock even faster.

I smiled, taking in his sexual compliment. He did know how to make me
smile.

"I love you, Bobby." I finally said, hoping he would say the same thing
back. Not sexually, but emotionally, like the kind that most boyfriends
would say to their girlfriends. But hoping was just as good as hoping for a
better world.

He smiled and scooted in closer, ready to blow his load all over me. Yet,
no reply, but I wasn't surprised by that. This isn't the first time I've
said it to him and not have it in return. It bothered me at first, but now
it's just to see if he would really say it at all Results were
inconclusive.

He licked his lips--his number one trademark--knowing that I was also close
to blowing my load as well.

"Tate, fuck! I'm about to..." Bobby started as his cock erupted with long,
strings of white cum, hitting my stomach, chest, and face. He always had a
lot of cum in him for some reason, like he never has sex or something.

Now I was drenched in his cum and then to add to the pile, I blow my load
too. Mine was never as much as his, but I had a considerable amount.

I shook with lust and passion as the last spurts of cum came out of me,
Bobby smiling at the amount of cum that I was covered in. He obviously
would have put that in his book of conquests, probably number 69 or
something--get the pun? Bobby was obviously a guy who was completely the
dominate one in sex, making me the bottom here. He was a guy guy though,
liking gross, sexually things such as me being covered in his sperm head to
cock. Oh yeah, this was probably a huge turn on for him. I guess it's okay,
since him being happy and horny made me happy too.

Bobby then push some cum that was near my face, into my mouth, making me
swallow it. Bobby always loved watching me eat cum, especially his cum
involved. Fun side note, he has a whole collection of porn on cum-eating
and jock/twink porn that I recently found--this is how I knew he liked
things like this. Bobby was truly a horny guy, and that's what most boys
are anyway, maybe even me if you thought about it closely.

As I swallowed the tasty cum that Bobby was making me eat, I stared into
Bobby's blue eyes that were so content on the cum-swallowing. I gave him
the innocent look and swallowed the cum left from his fingers. I knew he
liked this a lot, reminding him of how good I was to him. He was happy, so
I guess I was too.

He noticed me staring a little too hard, "What is Tate? I got cum on my
face too?"

I smiled, "Nothing, it's just you're so concentrated on feeding me your
sperm."

He chuckled, "Well, I think it's awesome and totally hot when you do that
for me."

It's true, I think it's hot too and I did it all the time with
Bobby. Guess, I'm that gross, sex boy stereotype that Bobby was too.

"Maybe you should taste it sometime," I suggested, curious to see what his
reaction was.

He raised his eyes, making a weird, but cute face.

"Maybe...," he started before flopping down next to me, making the whole
bed shake from his weight, "but I'm too tired right now to try. Maybe next
time, Tate."

I made myself comfortable in his bed, feeling the satin underneath and the
memory form feeling of the bed. I remembered the feeling as I was here a
thousand other times before. The countless other times that I was in
Bobby's room. I knew every inch of his light, pale blue painted room. It
was like I lived in this room, being a pet of some kind to him.

I looked over to Bobby, who was about to drift to sleep--he looked so cute
when he slept--I started to speak.

"Good night, Bobby," I said, watching his eyes heavy with tiredness.

He lightly punched me in the arm--which he always does to me, "Good night
to you too, Tate."

He pulled himself over to me and kissed me on the lips, tasting his minty
mouth. It was like heaven and fire at the same, burning and angelic.

I smiled, and he smiled too.

He laid on top on me, his heavy body over my skinny body. I felt
complete--well almost.

I fell asleep, pretending to think of this as normal relationship when it
wasn't.



I woke to a start--Bobby waking me was more like it. You know you think
that you're going to wake up to a guy kissing you on the back or something?
Well in my reality, Bobby's version of waking me up was slapping my face
with his big cock--not the way you would think of waking up to. But it was
enticing enough.

Bobby smiled as I rubbed my eyes of sleep and slapped his cock away from my
face. He had a cocky smile on his face that most guys at our school would
have. He was also looking at my body, which had dried-up cum on my stomach
and chest--pretty disgusting to look at actually. He took his phone and
pointed the camera towards me--time to put that in his book.

I covered my face as he took the picture of my cum-filthy body. I felt like
property now, one of Bobby's notches on his belt, but somewhere in me, I
didn't really care.

I shook my head and looked over to Bobby's Sharks' digital clock--it was 6
am. I swear, Bobby's obsessed with our school sometimes--even getting
souvenirs.

Bobby laid on top of me, grinding our bodies together, turning us both
on. I wasn't really in the mood for sex, I was just too damn tired to even
try.

I avoided Bobby's incoming kisses and tried pushing him off me, which was
both clearly unsuccessful.

"Bobby," trying to push him off me, "we're gonna be late for school if we
have sex."

He lifted his head from kissing my neck, "What if we just skipped and spent
the whole entire day in my bed?"

I smiled to that idea, "Yeah, but I don't wanna miss school and I also have
a bucket load of your cum dried on my stomach. Sounds like I need to get up
and get ready for the day."

He smiled and slapped my stomach, noting the dry cum. "I think it's cute on
you. Maybe I should cum on you a bit more now."

I rolled my eyes, "No, but as much as I like your sperm on me, I want to
wash it off before I start to throw up from the dried looks of it."

He rolled off me, now I can breath. "Okay, and you should leave before my
mom and dad wakes up."

I shrugged my shoulders, "Kay."

Then headed off to the bathroom that was on the right of his large
room--which was the size of a master bedroom. I felt weird being covered in
dry cum and naked at the same time, but I guess this was the natural
feeling of the after sex for a gay guy, dirty and naked. Wondered how Bobby
felt.

"Make sure you do it quietly, Tate. I don't want anyone to wake up," Bobby
said as I washed my face. The white, dry cum on my face was disappearing,
like it always does.

I brushed my teeth and used face-wash that I had brought over to Bobby's
house--just because I left his house a lot in the mornings. I saw my
face. It was pale that was sun-kissed, teeth lined with my stupid
braces--that Bobby liked--my dull brunette hair that was Justin Bieber
styled, my hazel eyes that I kind of liked, my pink-red lips that Bobby
claims is sexy, and my scrawny body that in the gay community labels me as
a "twink". Even though, I'm not blonde and ditzy. I just had the body, I
guess.

I looked up from the sink and saw Bobby in the mirror, he was standing
behind me, leaning on the door frame. He looked so hot from my point of
view, his blonde hair untouched, cock the size of a Direct TV remote, balls
hanging low, pecs and abs in the right muscular places, blue-eyes that
pierced through the locks of his golden hair, and lips that were luscious
to look at. Well, let's just say that I wouldn't mind having sex again with
him right now.

But I really needed to go to school and go see my friends, so this would
have to wait till tomorrow or tonight--whichever the one.

"You're so fucking cute, Tate." he said, as he walked over to me. He looked
at me with blue-eyes that were fixated on me and only me.

This made me feel special, so as a cliché, I blushed to his charming words.

He noticed my blushed face, and messed up my brunette hair like an older
brother would. It made me feel short and inferior to Bobby now. I had
always felt this way though.

He wet a hand-cloth and started to wipe at the dry cum on my stomach. He
took gentle slow, brushes at my stomach and then my crotch, which in turn
made me horny.

He smiled to my hardening cock, "Awh, looks like Tate Jr. wants to play
with Bobby Jr."

I laughed and shook my head, noticing his cock was now rock-hard too. Our
cocks were touching and then side-by-side, making this a picture perfect
for Tumblr. I felt somewhat like a loser compared to Bobby's cock. It was
longer and bigger, when I was average. But I couldn't complain I
guess--some people didn't have average sized penises. Bobby's cock head was
big and pink, the shaft curved to the left a little--which was by the way
cute--his crotch was hairless, and balls were big and low-hanging. Bobby
was born lucky, because he had it all. He had a big cock, a perfect body,
beautiful hair, lovely eyes, flawless skin, etc. What more could this
beautiful boy have?

I was truly jealous.

"Truth be told, I really wanna stay here and suck your cock all day, but
I'm a good boy and good boys don't suck cock all day." I replied, grabbing
his cock and giving it a little tug--playing with him a little.

He smiled and kissed me, "You are a good boy, but you know what they
say. The quiet ones are always the freakiest ones in bed."

I smirked, "Well, if you came out, we could do what we want all the time,
Bobby Maxwell."

He grinned, "You know the rules, Tate. I can't and you know that this is
good enough already. I mean, why fix something that's not broken?"

I felt a ping of disappointment in my heart, but I brushed it off. I didn't
want to show it and I obviously didn't want Bobby to get nervous or
anything.

So I started back to the bedroom, while Bobby slapped my ass as I
passed. He can be such a straight boy sometimes.

I smiled and rolled my eyes, boys.

"I know the rules, Bobby." I replied, as I put on my boxer-briefs.

I heard a flush and then Bobby's figure was in front of me, "Please do
recite them to me, Mr. Hamilton."

I looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "Really?"

"Yes, I wanna make sure they're still in check." Bobby answered, still
naked. But it was okay--him naked was a good image to leave in your mind
anyway.

I sighed, "Okay, I'm not allowed to talk to you at school unless you talk
to me first. I can't talk about our sex life together to others. I can't
get hurt if you do anything that convinces the crowd that you're
straight. I can't come over to your house unless I ask or you let me. Also,
we can't be seen together alone without others being in the room unless
it's intended. Happy?"

He smiled, "Good."

I hated those rules, because they basically prevented us from being
together in any public way, but its the way he wanted it. He had an honor
to defend--being straight--unlike me, who was the gay kid that no one
wanted to be friends with. He had a rep, and I had one for being the fag of
the school--two different worlds.

Sucks balls, but I guess I do that anyways, right?

"Is that all?" I said, putting on my shirt, feeling like a whore. I felt
like those prostitutes in those movies that felt used up and left without
feelings, only affections were through sex--and that was faked and pure
sex.

Except Bobby cared, just not enough to be gay in public.

"Oh yeah, what's the most important rule, Tate?" he asked, putting on a
pair of Christian Andrew boxer-briefs, which looked hella sexy on him. It
complimented his ass very well.

I rolled my eyes, "That I can't have feelings for anyone else."

He pulled me into a kiss. This was one of this empty kisses for me, I
wanted to say that I felt magic and fireworks, but I didn't. He usually
kisses me in the wrong moment, picking the times when I'm aggravated or
being questioned. Don't get me wrong, I loved it when he kissed me in the
right moments, but moments like those are rare.

This was not one of them.

His tongue pasted through my lips and mingled with my tongue. Tasting his
minty flavor, still there from last night. Bobby was a great kisser--he
made me a good kisser too--and his kisses always made me blush and left
butterflies in my stomach.

But this one was empty. Maybe from the stupid reciting of the dumb rules
made me feel blank and underwhelmed.

He let go, "See you later tonight kay, Tate?"

I nodded, "Yeah, see you later Bobby."

Then he kissed me one more time, this time it was more romantic and
emotionally, but I was still mad at Bobby for making me reciting the damn
rules. I guess I just had to take in his bad moments with his
sexiness. It's all I ask for.

I can honestly say, that I was in love with Bobby Maxwell.



As I stood in the long line, I saw the disgusting food that was being
served today. I mean, who serves red beans on Monday? It was disgusting,
and almost unhealthy. Red beans are only liked by some people, not by
everyone. Ugh, leave it to Fells High, the most well-funded school in the
state of Oregon, to have the most disgusting tasting food served to it's
students.

Fells High was a very populated school out of the whole district, yet it
had the most disgusting lunches ever. If we got lucky, there would be tacos
or pizza. But most of the time, it was atrociously made food.

"Ugh, why do they continue to serve this crap?" Ivan said, as he grabbed
his plate.

I smiled and nodded--agreeing completely.

"But at least they have good fruits to survive on," grabbing himself a lot
of mixed fruits and pouring it on his plate.

Ivan was my best friend here at Fells High, perhaps the only one that knows
my relationship between Bobby and me. Hey, I broke a rule, but I could
trust Ivan. I've known Ivan since the first grade, so he's top propriety on
my friends list.

Ivan was also gay, but he was a flamboyant type of gay. He liked to show
that he was gay and shoved it in people's face, whether they liked it or
not. The jocks in particular didn't like it--obviously--but that didn't
stop him. That's why I was friends with him till this day. I could be
honest and open about my sexuality, because Ivan was comfortable with it
and he enjoyed it. He's the reason that I came out to the school in the
first place. I was ready to be free from hiding who I was and I liked it.

But jocks and other people didn't, but I was okay with that.

Ivan was tall, but not too tall. He was a bleach-blonde with pink
highlights, making the flamboyant part of him true to self. He was avid
dresser as well, making him the perfect stylist--which was also his career
plan in life. Also, Ivan had a fun, quirky personality that was lively
too. He was a member in a bunch of clubs, theater being his favorite.

If there was any other gay best friend I could have, it'd be Ivan. He's a
great guy, and he was also fun to be around, making me do dares and try new
things--he was the one that made me less shy about myself. We were
inseparable and no one could take that away. Even death couldn't crack our
friendship.

So when I told him about my sexual relationship with Bobby, he understood
and didn't judge me for it. He was the type to understand too, because he's
dealt with it before and that we have no place to judge each other, knowing
that jocks and homophobes already judged us enough to begin with.

Plus, he dated a closeted James Lands--a member of the baseball team--so he
understood how it felt to be in a closeted relationship. Especially with
someone who's popular and everyone's favorite.

Bobby was the Fells High's star quarterback.

"So bitch," Ivan started, "how was your weekend?"

I shrugged, "Dull, boring. Saw Bobby last night."

"Boo, Bobby's boring too," Ivan said as we sat at our table.

We were sitting from the rest of the popular groups in the cafeteria,
sitting by the "losers" and "outcasts" side of the cafeteria. I was fine
with it anyway, because it was quiet and peaceful instead of loud and
obnoxious. The cafeteria was beautifully designed, a large room with an
arched ceiling lined with many expensive decorations from art fairs and
projects done by the theater group--some are Ivan's. The walls were a
mixture of faded teal and lagoon green, making it feel like a swamp, but
gave it an oceanic atmosphere to the room, not to say that they sprayed the
scent of ocean mist in here every morning.

This school worked a lot on the look and feel, accommodating the mascot and
logo of this school--The Sharks. Fells Town was the poster child for ocean
and water, making "The Sharks" the mascot undeniably. It was kind of cool,
I guess. I didn't really care about it much, but I did like the water-based
activities we did here.

We had water volleyball, synchronized swimming, a swim team, and a regular
pool gym class. Actually, the school replaced gym with swimming, since it's
fun and less sweaty. I completely agreed, swimming was a fun part of this
school. I hated sweating like a straight breeder, ugh.

Except for the bastards we called jocks in this school.

"Bobby is not boring." I replied to Ivan, looking over his shoulders to see
Bobby's perfect blonde hair across the lunch room at the jocks' table
eating lunch with his football buddies and other sports team at this
school.

He noticed me looking and smiled, but didn't wave, knowing that it would
break a rule in his book. Hell, I broke a rule by telling Ivan about our
relationship, why couldn't he? I wished so badly for Bobby to just tell me
to come over and met his friends and for them to get to know me, but I knew
that that was never going to happen in a million years. His friends were
homophobic and assholes to the core, torturing anyone who were easy targets
for them--namely me.

I was kind of tired and lonely at the fact Bobby didn't go public with our
relationship and tell everyone, but I guess not everyone can be that
changing jock in a gay story or film. It was nonexistent, guys like that
are no where to be found and if there were, they would be a rarity. I was
tired of lying about not having a boyfriend and that Bobby was my secret
boyfriend. But I knew it would hurt me bad and it would hurt Bobby deeper
than me, since he had built up a wall of his straight persona. No one would
suspected Bobby, because he was too popular and the star quarterback of
state-winning championships. So that would just complicate our lives more
and none of us would benefit out of it. It would ruin Bobby's social life
and his career and I would be tormented for making Bobby gay--which is
absurd anyway.

So I was perfectly content with the way things are now. Like what Bobby
said, "Don't fix what's not broken right?"

At least, I'd like to believe so.

I even saw James Lands sitting with the other baseball players. I thought
about bring him up in the conversation, but I was pretty sure that Ivan
would not like that, so I didn't.

Ivan took a bite of a small strawberry slice in the fruit cup, trying not
to get the syrup on his mouth. I swear, he can be so girly sometimes.

But I was girly sometimes too, so I was no better.

"Well, Bobby's all about sex and not about the relationship," Ivan said,
drawing my attention away from Bobby's flawless face.

I rolled my eyes, "It doesn't matter. We'll find a way to define and thrive
on our relationship." I replied, somewhat halfheartedly.

Ivan raised his eyebrow, which meant he was serious about something. I knew
him so well, I hope he knew me that well too.

"Look, Tate. I know Bobby may say he loves you and stuff, but you're too
scared to give up on someone, who's hot and everyone's object of
affection. But you need to know that Bobby may not ever come out at
all. Jocks usually never do. I mean, look at what happened between me and
James." Ivan said, playing with the red beans on the plate.

I knew he had a point, but I was stuck in a situation and one that meant I
had to make a decision between two people that I cared about. To continue
my relationship with Bobby and be closeted together forever, or ditch him
for a better chance at love?

I honestly didn't even know. I loved Bobby, but I knew in the back of my
mind that Ivan was right. If Bobby wanted to, he could be closeted for the
rest of his life and I wouldn't be able to deal with it.

I knew this, so I decided to not care whether the outcome was bad or
not. Bobby was the best thing I got right now, and that there's no one else
in this school that would date me. The other gay students were dating each
other and none of them were available, so I was going to be single if I
left Bobby and I didn't do well with being newly single.

Plus, I believe that in the small part of my heart and mind, that I want
Bobby to love me and do everything for me. Even though now, it was
inevitable how the outcome will be.

But I was too caught up in everything to even give a damn.

"Ivan, I know what you mean and I know that Bobby can't be the dream guy in
every gay teen story, but I love him and I know that he may not love
back. But I don't care, I can try right?" I replied, taking a bite into the
red beans. I spit it back out, yuck.

He gave me the death look, like he wanted to slap me for saying something
stupid. This was a thing he did to tell people that he wasn't playing or
just being plain out playful. He made it obvious that he wasn't joking, but
also just playing with me.

"I just don't want you to end up getting hurt like me," Ivan said, looking
down at his plate, reminiscing his moments with James.

I knew that Ivan still had feelings for James when he left Ivan for his
"pretend" girlfriend and I remembered when Ivan literally stormed into my
room crying his eyes out. It was one of those things that broke through
Ivan's strong barrier of confidence and open-mindedness.

It was actually the first time I'd actually seen Ivan cry--pretty rare
sight.

And some part of me thought about Bobby and I, imagining if Bobby picked
his girlfriend over me if he had to choose. I was pretty sure it wouldn't
come to that, noting that I actually played by the rules of his game, but
just thinking about it made me wonder.

If Bobby had to pick between me or his girlfriend, who would he choose in
the end?

I knew the immediate answer to that question, and it didn't bother me that
much. Or at least, it didn't affect me as much as I thought it would.

"Look, Ivan. I can watch myself. I know the consequences of being in a
relationship with a closeted guy. I'll be okay if anything happens, okay?"
I said, reaching over and patted Ivan on the shoulder.

He looked up smiling, "Well, I guess. We'll just see where it goes, right?
And who knows? You and Bobby might be different."

I smiled back, "Yeah, I'm not too worried about it though. Let's move on to
a different subject shall we?"

He rolled his brown eyes playfully, "Oh you whore. But anyways, how's the
sex with Bobby though?"

He just wanted to question my whole entire relationship, but it was
understandable. He is MY best friend you know.

I laughed, "Really, Ivan?"

He laughed back, "Yes, I do. I wanna know what is benefiting my best friend
enough to stay in a closeted relationship."

Nothing was beneficial about it, but at least I had the great sex to credit
for.

"It's really, REALLY good." I said, blushing up.

Ivan's eyes got big, "Wow, he must have something that made you use an
adverb TWICE."

I could tell my face was red, "It's just...I can't really explain it in any
other way. He's really, really good in bed."

Ivan sipped on his smart water bottle, "Well, coming from the quarterback
of the star, I would assume so."

I nodded, shy to talk about Bobby and I's sex life anymore.

Ivan smiled, "Oh! Does Bobby have, like, a big dick?"

I instantly fell in an embarrassed state, "Ivan!"

He shrugged his shoulders, "What? I wanna know."

I looked Bobby, who smiled back at me. I turned back, smiling. I couldn't
help it, I was smitten by the guy.

"He's 11 inches." I whispered quickly.

Ivan almost hit the floor at this point, the expression on his face said it
all. This did not make me feel better about it.

"Damn!" Ivan whispered loudly, surprised.

"What?" I asked, playing dumb.

Ivan leaned back in the chair and shook his head, "Tate's first time was
Bobby Maxwell's horse-hung cock. Bet that hurt like a whore."

I wanted to strangle him, "Shut up, we're in the cafeteria! This is no
place for sex talk."

Ivan smirked, "You cried, didn't you?"

He just didn't stop, did he? Guess I had to just play along.

"Yes, I did. But how could you not? It's 11 inches long and I'm pretty the
circumference of his cock is pretty large too!" I said, using the math
terms that teachers so-desperately wanted us to use. Who knew it would be
used in sex talks?

Ivan smiled, proud of me going to his dirty level of sex talk.

"Well, I can only imagine. But sadly, I don't have one to test drive the
lengths of a cock that big." Ivan said, empathizing that he was single and
lonely.

James Lands was the only guy Ivan was ever truly "in" love with--still does
till this day. I could tell that Ivan wants to be with him, looking back in
the hallway when James and his friends pass--longing for James to love him
again. Ivan's just a rolling stone in it though, believing that he'll be
fine in the end.

Truth is, Ivan isn't ready to accept the fact that James left him. And I
don't think he ever will.

I touched his hand that will halfway across the table, "I think we'll just
leave this conversation alone. You need to find out for yourself, what it
feels like to have a giant dick stuffed inside you."

He chuckled, "The world may never know."

As soon as he said that, a roll of bread spiked him in the head from
behind--coming from the jocks' table. It had hit him square on the back of
his head, perfect aim. I had to give it to the jocks, they weren't called
jocks for no reason. They had very good aim--well because our table was
like all the way across the cafeteria.

This nothing new in our book, this was something that happened everyday for
losers like Ivan and me.

I looked over at the jocks' table to see that they're joking about what
they had just did--lame asses--and I see Bobby laughing with them. I know,
I know. I'm suppose to be hurt by Bobby's reaction and I'm suppose to be
disappointed in him. He was laughing with them and joking about it, making
throwing gestures towards us. Maybe, he was throwing his secret apologize
over to Ivan and I--whatever.

But the truth of the matter was...I wasn't. This isn't the first time that
he's had to sell it to his friends that he's straight-as-a-fucking-arrow. I
knew deep down inside of Bobby, he loved and cared about me. That he didn't
really want to make fun of Ivan and me--secretly feeling guilty. He would
apologize later on tonight, and I will forgive him.

"Breeders," Ivan said, rolling his eyes.

I laughed, "Yeah, those douche bag, breeders."

He flipped his bleach-blonde bangs, "Assholes secretly want me anyways,
always throwing shit at me. They know they want to throw their dicks this
way."

I laughed again--thinking about Bobby and his friends wanting to have sex
with us. Well, at least Bobby did.

"Let's get out of here, Tate." Ivan said, picking up his barely touched,
plate.

"Yeah," I replied, doing the same.

As we made our way over to the trash bins--unfortunately by the jocks'
table--and was greeted with the jocks' share of daily insults. This was
also no different than we deal with everyday--we numb to it now.

"Fucking fags," Davis--one of Bobby's team member--said, looking disgusted
at us.

"Hope you freaks burn in hell forever," Hal--another member--spitted.

Then the rest of the jocks started to throw more insults and comments
towards our way. Each insult having at least the words, "freaks", "fags",
or "gay" in them--lame. Ivan was not affected by the insult, ignoring them
and rolling his eyes. He was nervous about them, but he was not nervous to
deal with them--same goes for me.

Then I saw James Lands, sitting quietly in his seat at the jocks'
table. While his friends were throwing insults at Ivan, he didn't. It
didn't surprise me at all, James was a nice guy, but he knew that he had
made the wrong choice when he chose his girlfriend over Ivan. Now he was
sitting at a table filled with jocks that were basically attempting to tear
down Ivan, and having to watch it without helping him. It was sad to watch
actually, because James also still had feelings for Ivan, but knows it was
awkward between them.

Plus, the only Ivan and James could be together was if James came out. I
wondered if Bobby and I would have to come to that conclusion one
day--hopefully not--but it's a possibility.

James was redheaded--I know--but he dyes his hair all the time to make it
dark red, to make it look cooler and appealing to the ladies...and
Ivan. Ivan loved his dark red hair, even though Ivan doesn't go for
redheads, but Ivan made an exception for James. James was also super, super
tall too--being 6'7'' ft tall. He basically dwarfed the jocks by his height
alone, which was funny because Bobby was 6'2''. Everybody told him that he
should join the basketball team, but he refuses, telling them that he can't
shoot hoops. Why not? He could literally reached the net and put the ball
through.

Ivan was also drawn by his height, telling me that James and him always had
funny during sex--whatever that meant. I guess it had something to do with
Ivan being 5'8'' ft.

Sucks for them, sounds like they were perfect for each other.

"Guys," Bobby started, calming the homophobic assholes down.

What the hell was Bobby doing now?

"We shouldn't be making fun of them," Bobby starting, "we should be trying
to convert them back to being straight and fucking pussies."

I rolled my eyes, now that was crossing the line a little. Why couldn't he
be like James and just sit down? Beggars can't be choosers.

Then the jocks broke out laughter--it wasn't that funny--telling each other
how they would convert us. It went from drugging us to have sex with a girl
to raping us to fear penises--really? Bobby literally almost destroyed me
with his 11 inches of meat and it hasn't changed me to vagina. Sorry, I
prefer wieners over turkeys any day--especially Bobby's.

Ivan grabbed my arm, pulling me away from the jocks, taking me out of that
reality. Sometimes, you just needed someone to pull you into the light and
let you breathe.

Once we got to the hallways, Ivan looked like he wanted to cry, but was
putting on a strong face. I knew it was about James.

"You okay?" I asked, bring Ivan back to reality.

He shook his head, "I know James still cares. That's why he didn't say
anything."

I shrugged my shoulders, "Bobby just insulted me and you. There's nothing
much we could do."

He took in a deep inhale and then exhaled, "Yeah."

Those things were the easiest to deal with--it was the emotional part of
being in love with a jock that made it hard.

It was affecting Ivan pretty bad, even he doesn't show it. I don't know
what I'd do if that were me, I just didn't know.

"Let's just get to class," I said, smiling now.

"Yeah, fuck these guys. Time to learn about math and it's ruler references
to penises," Ivan said, smiling back up.

Then there we were, faking a smile.



As my hamstrings were burning like hell, I heard Couch Kelly yelling at the
newbie cheerleaders over in the other side of the room. They weren't too
good at their toe-touches, so she made them go through toe-touch stretching
hell. I remembered when I had to go through that, possibly the worst pain I
had to go through in my life. But now, I can do perfect toe-touches, and
great scorpions--even though I was a back spot. Practice means perfect.

And if you hadn't notice, I was a guy cheerleader. Yes, I know. Why the
hell is Tate Hamilton even a cheerleader when he's like depressed and
blanked out half the time? Well, there's a very good reason I am on the
Sharks' Cheer Squad to begin with.

My family is into sports, so they told me that I had to be in at least one
sport on top of everything else. I wasn't good at tennis, soccer,
basketball, baseball, track, and don't even think about football. All of
those sports required a lot of muscle and raw strength--something that I
never had--and I wore out easily. Plus, I didn't want to deal with being
tired and studying for Calculus--it was too stressful.

So there was cheering, the one sport that was most girls and had no one to
discriminate against you for who you were--unless you were a girl. It
wasn't as energy-demanding and was all about being happy. I didn't have to
deal with homophobic assholes and sucking at everything, so cheering was a
talent for me. The team was happy when I tried out, adding to their other
guy cheerleaders--now four guys--and thought I was a great performer. I
didn't want to take any credit, it was just something that I did for the
sake of my parents.

Now we were sitting in the large blue and silver gym, all in formation.

"Fuck my thighs, I hate this shit," Jenni said, next to me in a toe-touch
stretch. Ouch was all I thought.

Jenni was my other friend at Fells High, but strangely, she was the one of
the "popular" girls here. I met her here when I tried out for cheer back in
my sophomore year, and we instantly became friends. She was the wavy
brunette, tall, pretty, was rocking a nice body, and had everything that
guys drooled for. Jenni looked like one of these bitches that you just
wanted to straggle and throw over a bridge, but Jenni wasn't like that--she
was actually better.

Jenni and I had more things in common than I thought. She had a personality
that didn't care about what other people thought and looked at everything
from multiple point of views. She was also really nice, and helped me out
when I was struggling with cheer motions. She stayed after school, just
help me practice before try-outs. She was cool in my book and worth a
friend keeping. But I did keep certain things from her that I didn't want
her to know, because the situation would try out too awkward.

Things like...

"This would have been so much harder if Bobby doesn't keep me all
'stretched out' and flexible," she starting, smiling, "if you know what I
mean."

Yep, if you haven't figured out from that sentence, then it means that
Jenni was Bobby's girlfriend. What? You didn't expect Bobby to not have a
girlfriend? After all, he IS the quarterback--it's a little cliché--and
they did date the head cheerleader, keeping the stereotype very much
alive. With this being true, it's made me feel guilty to even have feelings
for Bobby, let alone have sex with him. Jenni being his girlfriend has made
it complicated to be friends with her, because it's made me feel guilty
that Bobby has feelings for me as as well--also he was having sex with
me. I just couldn't imagine how Bobby has sex with Jenni and then call me
up five hours later to have raging, heavenly sex with me--it was sort of
disgusting to me. Then again, I kind of didn't care. I fell for Bobby hard
before I even Jenni was his girlfriend, so I couldn't just let him go.

In the end, it's made me feel like homewrecker, because I am one.

To make things worse, Bobby's not even straight, let alone bisexual. He was
gay--as he says himself--and yet, he was having sex with Jenni. It was
horrible, considering that Jenni was good person--it would have been
different if he had a bitch for a girlfriend. But in this case, it wasn't
so.

I didn't know what to do, so I decided to let Bobby make his decision on
it. I didn't want to be the one breaking Jenni's heart if she found I was
the one that Bobby was screwing around with. Having a slut/whore sleep with
your boyfriend was one thing, but to have one of your close friends do it
was overall...cunt.

I was a cunt, and I knew it.

"I see what you mean," I said, wanting to desperately change the subject of
Bobby to another subject.

Because Jenni talking about Bobby having sex with her was uncomfortable,
especially when it involves a vagina and penis--I shivered to the thought
of it.

"So I was thinking, maybe Bobby and I should try a new sex position,
because this doggy-style shit is not working too well for my back. Plus,
it's awkward-looking." Jenni said, naturally speaking.

Well, Jenni wasn't the one to uncomfortable with her sex life, Bobby and
her's sex life was basically an open book--free of charge. This also made
it uncomfortable for me, knowing that Bobby and I had tried that position
one time, same for me with awkwardness. But then again, talking and
thinking about it while Jenni was directly next to me was...awkward to say
the least.

I faked a smile, "Well, maybe you could try something."

"I know right," she started, "I know! We could try reversed cowgirl."

This was getting severely uncomfortable for me, because that was my
favorite position with Bobby! I desperately needed to change this subject
before I run of practice and throw up in the trashcan. Thinking about me
and Bobby, and then Jenni and Bobby was nauseating.

"Yeah," getting up from the ground to do upper stretches, "Well, how was
your day so far?"

She rolled her eyes, "Bobby and I didn't get to talk, or even see each
other. Fucking clubs and shit are always depending on me to do all the
fucking work for them! We basically have zero time for anything anymore."

Well, that's what you get for joining twenty different clubs at the same
time. I would have felt bad her if I wasn't already deeply, madly in love
with Bobby. Still without remorse, you still have guilt, and that's what I
felt at the moment. Poor Jenni, but most importantly me. I just didn't know
how to handle this situation. I'll say it again to remind myself--Bobby's
going to deal with it.

Relieved my mind of this stress, I focused on my power stretches while
talking to Jenni.

"Well, you know. There are those moments in a relationship where everything
seems so complicated and feels like you have no time for that person. But
we all have to deal with things like that, it's whether we can handle it or
not," I said, trying to be a good friend when I was backstabbing whore.

She smiled and patted my shoulder with her free hand, "Thanks, Tate. It's
nice having you as a friend. See? Gay guys really do help with problems."

I faked a smile, "Your welcome. Always here for service."

"Just what a girl needs," Jenni says, as she does a touch-toe. It was
perfect and nice to look at, better than mine.

I smiled and gulped, knowing that I was a whore underneath to my friend and
I felt it every second with her. How could I do something so horrible to
her? I was a horrible person overall, and I wanted to die inside.

But I didn't show it, because there were worst things happening to me, and
being depressed and sad made it even worse. I didn't need to bring more
attention than my sexuality already makes me.

So I smiled and did a touch-toe, landing horribly.



As I said bye to the rest of the cheerleaders, I was tired and knees like
jelly at this point--Coach Kelly was making us do jump squats and they hurt
like a bitch. I was glad that practice was over, it was a reminder that I
was an unknown whore to the girl who's boyfriend is sleeping with me.

Now that I could breathe again, I clutched onto my sports bag and walked
through the parking lot of the school. The other girls were going to hang
around and chill, but I told them I was too tired and needed to go home.

I regretted saying no, wishing that I could take it back and turn back the
clock. Now, in this large vast parking lot with a variety of different
cars, I saw a group of people I'd never want to see.

It was the jocks themselves, and I was alone. I totally forgot that every
athletic team in this school was practicing today, fuck me. Talk about
timing. This was like walking into a death trap, I realized that there were
no teachers, no female friends, and most of all, no Ivan. I was alone, and
the one thing I was afraid of was them beating the living lights out of me,
probably taking turns hitting me too. I was scared, frozen in place and
even scared than I was of them during school time. Being after school and
going home, they could just murder me then and there. This was the one
moment that every gay kid dreaded, getting cornered by homophobes in an
unsafe area.

I saw Bobby by them, talking and acting like a total douche bag--but he
wasn't one in bed. He was in the center of the group--obviously--and
laughing with them, a luxury I would never have the chance to know. I
sometimes wished that Bobby would come out and say he's gay and, by some
hope, he gets accepted and then being gay wouldn't be so bad. Of course
though, he's not doing that and has left me the lingering question. Would
he ever come out?

I knew the answer already, but I denied it and moved on.

I wanted to die. I was tired of this and everything else today. Then again,
it was just another day of Tate Hamilton.

But luckily for me, I didn't reach them yet. I was by the entrance of the
school doors, so I wasn't noticed yet--giving me a chance to avoid
confrontation with them. As I saw them, sitting by someone's car and talk
among themselves--telling dumb jokes and their latest conquest--I ran into
the safety of the football the gates of the practice fields of the the
sports team.

It wasn't a smart idea, but there was nowhere else to go that they wouldn't
see me. Plus, they were done with practice and I could chill on the
bleachers until they left, probably do some homework before I get home.

As I was walking backwards, while still looking at the small gate to
parking lot, I was grabbed from the shoulder and turned around violently.

Great, some were still here and now they're going to kill me now that I'm
in their territory. How could my day get worse?

Then, as I saw the person who turned me around, I knew that person
immediately and was easy comforted. Hey, at least I wouldn't get beat up or
jumped.

"Tate? What the fuck are you doing here?" Davis said, his face twisted in
confused and aggravation.

I flicked his hand off my shoulder, "I'm a cheerleader, remember?"

He rolled his eyes, "Oh yeah, then what the fuck are you doing in the
practice fields?"

I crossed my arms, "Well, I would drive home, but I was about to run into
your dick-for-friends and I'm not in the mood for getting my face smashed
in."

"Yeah, whatever. So you're just waiting for them to go home?" Davis asked,
still aggravated.

"Yeah, so maybe you drive them away from the parking lot so I can get home,
unless you want Mom and Dad to ask where I was." I said, aggravated too.

"Good, maybe they'll talk some sense into you. Maybe send you to a
Christian camp to fix you," Davis replied, talking down to me.

"Asshole," I said, not wanting to talk to him anymore.

If you haven't notice yet, Davis and I were related--as in brothers--blood
and everything too. Sometimes, I wished he wasn't related to me. You know
how family is suppose to be loving and there to support you 24/7? Yeah,
fuck that. Davis and my family wasn't like that, actually they're the
opposite of it. Davis in particular here, hates me because I'm gay, so that
affects his social status.

So if it threatens his social status, he has to remind everyone that he
hates me in every aspect, even at home. That's why back in the cafeteria,
he was being the insult asshole that he was. Why couldn't I have the
loving, caring brother that protected me from danger and supported me?
Apparently, I got the bad end of the stick.

Davis and I never got along, but we did resemble each other--only in looks
and never the personality area. We had the same hazel eyes, brunette hair
(well, its spiked and short), sun-kissed skin, pink lips, and yes, the
stupid braces. Only Davis was taller, more muscular, and build like a
supermodel, making him the golden child in my family--even though he's the
older one. We also sort of looked alike, except he was taller and shit. I
wish I wasn't related to him, I didn't want to be reminded everyday of my
ugly existence.

I was the uglier version of Davis, scrawny and boring to look at. Oh well.

"You deserve it fag," Davis spitted.

I didn't reply and waited for Davis to go on and be gone from my
sight. Unfortunately, he didn't and I was getting pretty mad.

Then, a voice--a voice that was so familiar and calm--coming our way from
the locker rooms located by Davis and I.

"Hey Davis!" Luke said, as he reached us.

My heart literally skipped five beats when I saw him.

"I wasn't going to leave you dude!" Davis says, with Luke next to him.

Luke turns to see me, and smiles his crooked smile that was imperfectly
cute--I secretly died inside.

"Oh, I didn't see you there, Tate. What's up dude?" Luke greets, pulling me
into a quick hug.

Then, I wanted god to stop torturing me with this guy.

Oh, I forgot to mention, Luke was Davis' hot best friend that I was totally
head-over-heels for. He was actually nicer and not even homophobic compared
to my brother, he actually made Davis look like a dick with no reason to
hate me. I'd known Luke for a longtime actually, ever since he and Davis
met in elementary school. Luke was the nicest guy I'd known and was the one
guy I'd die for. He was perfect in my eyes, and he made the whole "the one"
seem almost realistic. What I would do have Luke as mine? Anything
humanly--maybe inhumanly--possible.

I know, Bobby, but Luke was the first guy I had a heavy, and serious crush
before I even met Bobby. It's not like I was going to leave Bobby for Luke
anyway, because Luke was straight--fuck me so fucking hard--and there was
no chance in hell that I even stood a chance for a guy like Luke.

But I could in my dreams, sadly.

"Hey," I replied, sounding a little too happy to see him. He was probably
the only thing that made day better, besides Bobby.

He lets go of me, "Nice to see you, bro. I missed you."

Davis looked disgusted that he was even associated with me, giving me the
look of "stay-away-from-my-best-friend-freak" but I didn't care at all.

"Really?" I asked, looking into Luke's caramel, honey eyes that made
everything sweet and tasty.

He licked his lips, "Yeah, I missed chilling with you. You're a cool dude."

Davis raised his eyebrow, "Really now?"

Luke lightly punched Davis in the arm, "Come on, dude. He's your brother,
be a little nicer."

Davis scoffed, "Yeah, if he wasn't a faggot, I would."

"Too bad, I am." I countered.

"What did you say?" Davis responded, getting into my face.

Luke put his slender, muscular arm in between us, preventing us from
fighting. Mostly on Davis' part though, I didn't fight for the fact I'm
gay.

Luke ran his hand through his dark brown short hair, perfect and smooth as
silk.

He was so fucking sexy when he did that, other than Bobby's sexy lip-bite
that is. Luke was half-white, half-Latino, which made him extra sexy. I
loved Hispanic guys, and I loved white guys (as I was white myself), making
Luke uber perfect for me.

I wasn't really picky when it came to guys, I didn't discriminate.

Especially when came to Luke, with his short brown hair, his tanned skin
that looked like caramel--talk about delicious! He wasn't as tall as Bobby,
but he was a good 6 ft--enough to toss my skinny ass around. Also he had a
nice body, maybe not as big and nice as Bobby's but he had that medium,
muscular build. I was more than fine with it, I couldn't judge.

But it wasn't the fact that he was hot that made me like him, it was his
personality. He was always nice to me, even when I came out as gay. He
still looked at me as a human being, and that's what makes it hard for me.

Because I had a crush on someone that was in every way perfect, but it's
been set and stone--he was straight and there was no way to be with him.

Well, at least I had Bobby.

"Guys, stop it." Luke said, pushing Davis back.

"Faggot should have never said anything to me," Davis said, looking pretty
disgusted at me.

If you think this is cruel of him to do this to me, don't worry. I was
really used to it, I've been emotionally beaten enough to numb it out. This
was nothing, compared to what others have said to me before.

"I just wanna go home," I said, aggravated enough by this.

"Well you should and stay out of this part of school," Davis said, walking
towards the gates.

Well, I made him pissed, but that was also nothing new for me. It was
actually pretty normal for him to act that way. What a big brother...

Luke sighed and shook his head, he looked at me and shrugged his
shoulders. I smiled and shrugged, expressing my tiredness.

"I guess I can't everyone happy," I said, leaning against the bricked walls
of the school behind.

Luke came and hugged me, but it was different this time. This time, he
actually hugged me for me, and not as the little brother of his asshole
best friend. It felt nice, having someone that you like hug you.

"It's gonna be okay, Tate. Davis' gonna come around for ya," he said,
ruffling my hair before heading off in the same direction as my brother.

Oh why, why did Luke have to be straight? Torment for my soul? Probably so.

I walked to the silver bleachers that were nicely decorated by the Student
Council, probably by Jenni or Ivan's hand--they were creative enough.

I sat down on the bleachers, lying back on the upper seats. I looked up at
the sky and saw it's afternoon glory.

I closed my eyes, and sighed.



I was literally in hell. Well, a family dinner in hell that is. I was stuck
at the dinner table with my mother, father, and Davis--we were the only
children my parents ever had. It seemed kind and cool to be connected with
your family, but that was bullshit. I hated family dinners, I'd rather take
my chances on hell before I attend a family dinner.

It wasn't like we had bad food and had to talk about boring things all
day. No, we had high class food, and our conversations were nowhere near
boring--they were death sentences for me.

Ever since I came out as gay, our family dinners had been very hostile and
always centered around me being stupid for being gay. I mean, I couldn't
choose my fate here! My parents and brother were aiming to change me, but
that wasn't happening. I was gay and there was nothing that could change
it. They would have to just deal with it and move on.

Then, a ding of the wine glass my dad was holding, signaled that we had to
pay attention and that there was something he needed to talk about.

I was sitting here, staring at my food with no care for the world. I didn't
care what he was going to talk about, because it was going to end up about
me and my sexuality.

Dad was a nice-looking older man that most middle-aged women would go for,
therefore giving Davis his great looks and large build. I bet my father was
so fucking proud of him, with football and sports going for him. I was
pretty sure that Dad could care less about what my future was and more on
how to get me out of his house sooner.

Dad wasn't exactly a homophobic person, although you can say he was
though. He treated me like a wild animal that's diseased and poisoned,
thinking that my "gayness" is a phase, which it wasn't. He thinks that
being gay makes you mean and lonely, which makes me mad every time he
brings it up, because it wasn't true. He told me that I disappointed him,
not being straight and that being gay makes me a weaker person. He wasn't
really supportive and is only there if I severely get hurt or achieved
something great. So overall, my dad was a dick who puts me on a high
standard.

Then there was Mom. She was supportive of me being gay and loves me very
much, although she can be nonexistent sometimes. When Dad and I get into
heated arguments and Dad makes me go to my room, she just stands there and
stares. Like she's zoned out, or doesn't want go against my father, for he
might get mad at her. She was the step-ford housewife, doesn't argue with
her husband and lets him control her. But Mom was pretty and gave us her
pretty hazel eyes, making my father the only one with brown eyes.

Dad looked at all of us, "So I just found something out."

"What is it, Dad?" Davis said, being a kiss-ass like he was always. I
didn't speak at family dinners and only speak when necessary.

He looked at me, with angry in his eyes. Yep, this was going to be about
me, isn't it? Oh well...

"What?" I asked, aggravated and tired from the whole day.

Dad twists his face like Davis usually does and gives me a dumb look like I
didn't know. I really wanted to deck my father in the face, but I was too
tired to deal with it, so I ignored it.

"What? Like you don't know?" Dad asked, being persistent.

"No, Dad. Would you like to repeat it?" I asked, taking a bite of the
turkey Mom made.

Oh yeah, about her too. Yeah, she just sat here powerless and stared off
into the food and air. This wasn't new either.

"Well, Tate. I received your interim today and I must say. You're
slacking." Dad said, with a serious tone.

Dad worked as a professor at a university somewhere, I don't care
where. This had made him into an asshole for a father when it came to
school and more. Why couldn't he be a lawyer or something that didn't
involved school?

"What does it say?" Davis asked, as if he had actually cared about my
grades.

"Well, everything else is an A, but you're slacking in math, Tate. You made
a B. Bring that up, or you're car is a gone." Dad said, threatening me with
his parenting skills, which were terrible anyway.

This made me mad, "So you're telling me that you're sitting there all mad
and everything because I made a fucking A!"

"Tate, please watch the language," Mom said, finally speaking. But it
wasn't soon enough, for my taste.

I ignored her pleads for me to stop cussing, but I didn't care. I was
mad. How could Dad be so dumb? I was stressed out and everything, and he
wants to get mad at me for having a B on an interim? It was pure bullshit,
and he was only raging because of the fact that I was gay and needed every
reason to make me change.

Fat chance.

"How dare you talk to me like that! You...you!" Dad said, raising his
voice.

I knew he was going to drop the "gay" bomb in front me, but he knew
better. He knew that I didn't like it and refrained from saying it. He
didn't want me pissed, but it was too late for that already.

I would have been scared, but I was actually calm and collected. On a
normal, non-tiring night, I would have kept my mouth shut. But I didn't
this time, because my parents didn't fucking care about me, nor did they
love me. I was the child that they were disappointed in, the one that they
hated to talk about at formal events.

I hated it, and it wasn't fair. They loved Davis because he was the
beautiful, straight, football player son that they would flaunt around
24/7.

But it was what ever.

"You're asshole and I'm leaving." I said, abruptly getting up and walking
to the front door, grabbing my keys and jacket.

"Wait, honey!" Mom started, but Dad stopped her.

"Marilyn, don't. He's not worth helping. Let him go and do whatever. He can
do whatever he wants with his terrible lifestyle." Dad said, trying to keep
his cool.

Davis just sat there and eat his food silently, not wanting to invoke my
father any further. Good, he needed to shut up for once.

I slammed the door as I walked out the house into the frigid cold of the
night and into my car. It was warmer in here, but it'll elevate soon. It
was only a little chilly, the cold of the night reminded me of how cold my
house has become. How uncaring they were towards me, to just treat me
different because I wasn't the exact replica of Davis. It was stupid and
pathetic in general.

Then as I was sitting my black BMW, I heard a ring come from my phone. A
text message flashed on my iPhone screen.

And I knew who it was too.

I looked onto the screen of my phone and saw it was the one I needed to see
all day, Bobby.

The message on the screen said, "Get your scrawny ass over! Parents and
brothers not here!"

I smiled and replied back with my confirmation of my coming. Perfect, now I
get to loud noises with Bobby. I loved it when his parents and little
brothers went out of town, that meant I could see Bobby and have more
speaking range other a whisper.

But this didn't stop the fact that I was unloved. Even though Bobby tells
me he cares, he hasn't proven to me that he does. My brother hates me with
a passion and I want him to be my big brother, but I don't think that will
happen. My parents didn't really care about me, other to control every
aspect of who I am and make me into my brother.

Then of course, there was Luke. The guy that could make my day shine
without doing anything, but can't be with because he's straight.

I laid back in my seat, before turning the engine on, feeling the hum of
the car as it comes to life.

I drove out and into the street, going through another night with Bobby and
another day that waits for me.

Oh the ironic--if there was any that is.

-------------------------------------------------

I hope you guys liked the story so far! I know it's a little long for a
first chapter, but I wanted to make it as detailed and vivid as possible
for you guys!

I love you guys and I hope you can forgive me!

Also, tell me, who's your favorite character?

Love, Johnny!

Email me at johnathanseymour@hotmail.com !!!!