Date: Thu, 4 Sep 2003 12:09:09 -0700 (PDT)
From: Virtual Diva <virtualinsanity78@yahoo.com>
Subject: Wade and Christian 2

Disclaimer:

This story is intended for adult audiences.  If you are not an adult 18+,
21 in some areas, please do not go on.

I have been writing for some years, but this is the first time that I have
shared my writing with the public.  Any encouragement would be well
appreciated and replied to at virtualinsanity78@yahoo.com

Thanks, Terry for the initial "encouragement"!

(c) 2003
		Part I

		Chapter One

	Wade Harrison stood on the West High School football field, a
brown-haired, gray-eyed Adonis.  He drew the attention of everyone in his
proximity, male and female.  He wasn't the best player on the varsity team,
but he was easily the best looking and his presence exuded a comfortable
grace and powerful charisma with little effort.  Beneath the bright stars
and cloudless night sky, his tall, muscular body looked almost ethereal,
classic in his football whites.  Most of the girls and women in the stands
were riveted to this image of youthful masculinity. He showed signs of what
promised to be the classic virility of an extraordinarily handsome man and
they sighed over the vision.  It was an attention he didn't acknowledge.

	In fact, he didn't show the slightest bit of interest.  Instead,
the hair on the back of his neck stood on end from one set of blue eyes.
With every fiber of his being, he was forcing himself to concentrate on the
game.  He had a responsibility to his teammates to play the game well and
he was going to.  He told himself that it didn't matter that Christian was
up there, staring at him.

	He knelt with the other players at the line of scrimmage and
watched as Jonathan called a play.  The adrenaline of play ran through his
veins and he ran across the field near the offensive line and looked back
for Jonathan's position.  He pivoted past the defensive lineman and opened
his arms for the catch.  The ball slid into his hands with an easy force
and he fixed his eyes on the end zone.  His legs pumped furiously as he
made for the touchdown, his heart pounding with each contact his feet made
with the turf.  A familiar feeling of elation filled him as he crossed the
line and he ground his body to a halt.  He felt euphoric and showed it by
pumping his arms furiously, powerfully in the air.  This was the one thing
that he knew how to control.

	A few seconds later, Jonathan and some other teammates slammed into
him in joyous celebration.  It was the first touchdown of the season and
Wade let the feeling carry him away.

	He had lasted this long without Christian.

	Seventh grade had been so long ago.  Christian wasn't like other
boys.  He didn't fit in well.  With each step he took or movement of his
arms, the difference was evident.  So many things had changed in the space
of five years^Åbut one thing hadn't.  He wasn't going to give in to the
feelings that went through him every time he laid eyes on the boy.  He was
not gay.  Senior year was just beginning and Wade was determined to live up
to every expectation his father had for him.

	At the back of the stands, Christian pulled his letterman's jacket
closer and stared blankly at the group of celebrating guys down on the
field.  He should have known that Wade would start the season with the
first touchdown.  His eyes were like blue ice chips and his face was set in
calculated blank lines.  He didn't want anyone to read his thoughts, not
that there was much risk of that.  Everyone was too caught up in the game
and no one was paying him the least bit of attention.

	Christian wasn't the type to draw the eyes of the crowd the way
Wade did.  He was tall and muscular from his regular weight room sessions
for the cross-country team, but he was as lean and hard as a whipcord from
the time he spent running.  His blond hair was neatly trimmed, but thick,
flowing and bright and his eyes were a shockingly clear blue.

	When he looked in the mirror, he didn't see anything out of the
ordinary.  He was practically oblivious to his own charm.  Still he knew
what set him apart.  It was the way he moved that made him stand out, with
a fluid and piercing grace, like a dancer.  It was the way he spoke that
distinguished him, with a deep gentleness and softness that was almost
restless.

	In total silence and stillness, he could find anonymity and peace.

	"Scoot over," his friend Lakiesha was back with two cups of hot
chocolate.  Christian looked up at her blankly for a moment, forgetting
space and time.

	"Chris, these are burning my fingers, move over," she complained
and he remembered where he was and slid to the right.  Lakiesha squeezed in
beside him, a waft of some soft fragrance following her, and handed him a
cup.  "Where were you, in La-La Land?"

	He had met her during freshmen year.  On the track and field team,
she was phenomenal.  Her legs had drawn him, though not the way they would
other men.  She was like a giant horse, sculpted and swift.  He had watched
her race and been awed.  He was never the type to reach out to others, but
she had noticed his awe and approached him.  The smile on her face had been
genuine and bright.  Christian could not turn away from her.  Over that
first year, their friendship had been sealed in so many ways.

	"You're gay," she had said, during their first sleepover, out of
the blue.

	"How can you tell?" he asked, blinking, uncertain and scared.  Was
it written on him in some weird script for everyone to see?

	"You can just tell, Chris," she said slowly, afraid to offend.

	He digested this information gradually, numb and wanting to deny
it.  She lay her head against his shoulder and the warmth of her body
seeped into the chill of his.

	"Does everybody know?" he asked, after a moment.

	"Yeah, I think so," she said slowly.  He didn't know how to feel.

	"Do you mind?" he asked.

	"About you being gay?" she lifted her head slightly.

	"Yeah," he said, waiting.

	"No," she said.  "I don't mind."  Just like that.  She settled back
against his shoulder and he put an arm around her.  It was the first time
he had reached out to touch her.

	"Why don't you mind?" he asked and she sighed softly.

	"I don't mind because I think it's cool that you're gay," she said.
"I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Some people are straight and
some people are gay.  Get over it."

	He held her for a few more minutes and thought about what she had
said.  He wondered for a moment why God had given him someone like
Lakiesha.  Someone who accepted and loved him unconditionally.

	"So, people think I'm gay," he mused, sensing the eventuality of it
all and she lifted her head.

	"Well, not everybody does," she informed him.  "Take my father for
instance.  He says you have to sleep on the couch.  He doesn't want you to
try anything with me."  She started giggling and Chris followed suit.  It
was the first time he had really laughed in three years.

	Back in the present, he sipped the hot chocolate slowly and glanced
at the players on the field.

	"So, we got a touchdown," she said, blowing on the hot brown liquid
at the rim of her cup.

	"Big surprise," Christian said stiffly.  Lakiesha glanced away from
him.  He was in one of his moods again.  The kind that she was never able
to understand and afraid to pry into.  There were some things he held back
from her, even after she had proven herself in so many ways.  She gave him
a little more space and stared at the game.

	Christian could sense her withdrawal.  He hated it when he hurt her
this way, but he didn't know how to stop doing it.  There were some times
when he thought that he was useless to the whole world.  He reached out an
arm and pulled her closer to him and she sat up straight and stiff for a
moment.  He kneaded her shoulder with his hand and she slowly relaxed.  She
sipped her hot chocolate.

	"Do you wanna go home?" she asked and he shook his head.  He was
supposedly there to take some pictures for the yearbook.  He had gotten
plenty of good shots already and run out of film.  Yearbook had only been
an excuse to see Wade.

	"After the game, can we stop at Frankie's?" she asked.  Christian
nodded.  Frankie's was the only place where he could make her eat anything
besides carrot sticks or lettuce.  She couldn't resist their thick
milkshakes or homemade cheeseburgers.

	"Can you believe school starts tomorrow?" Christian grumbled
lightly and she laughed, completely relaxed again.

	"I just can't believe Mannie's gone for good," she said with a half
frown and Christian sighed.

	"Yeah," he said softly, quietly not agreeing.  Mannie had been
something like royalty to Lakiesha and poison to Christian.  He was a
Vietnamese and black boy two years and one grade above them.  Lakiesha had
fallen instantly and irrevocably in love with him during their sophomore
year, undeterred by the fact that he was bisexual and solely attracted to
blondes.  In a way, it was a good thing that Mannie had signed up for the
Marines after graduation and left early in the summer.

	Lakiesha had been devastated and it had taken months and five
letters from Mannie for her to come out of her depression.  To Christian,
Mannie was a constant reminder of one of the biggest mistakes he had ever
made.

	Christian had only known Mannie for a couple of months during their
sophomore year when Lakiesha showed up at his house with Mannie in tow.
Mannie had rejected her a million times and Christian couldn't quite figure
out why he always seemed to cleave to her.  It was a destructive
relationship in his eyes.  She wanted to be with Mannie, but Mannie wanted
no part of it.  They were constantly arguing or not speaking.  A week
before they showed up at Christian's house, he had witnessed a disturbing
scene in Lakiesha's backyard.

	Their moans and grunts of pleasure had reached Christian before he
even rounded the corner of her backyard, but something had pressed him on.
In the shadow of a group of bushes lining the corner, he had seen Lakiesha
sitting on the concrete steps of her back porch.  Mannie knelt on the grass
before her, his face buried between her legs.  Her skirt was pushed up and
bunched at her waist and her eyes were closed, her head thrown back.  After
a few moments, she seemed to erupt and her moans lengthened and carried on
the wind.  Mannie seemed almost possessed, not stopping the frantic
movement of his mouth until she collapsed against the concrete, deplete and
trembling.  Afterwards, he stood up wiping his mouth with his shirt sleeve,
stepping away from her.  He stared off into space, looking everywhere but
at Lakiesha.  She pulled her skirt down and hugged her legs, not looking
either.

	"Stop doing this to me," Mannie screamed, out of nowhere.  She
jumped visibly but kept looking at the ground.  He turned and looked at her
with eyes that hated her.  When she looked up and saw this, she let out a
sound like a strangled cat and started bawling.

	"I'm not in love with you," he growled at her and Christian
considered leaving the protection of the bushes and comforting his weeping
best friend.  At that moment, Christian hated Mannie.

	"I'm gay," Mannie said and Christian could read the anger, fear and
hurt on Mannie's face.  "I'm fucking gay, Kiesha.  Stop doing this to me."
Lakiesha was nobody's whipping post and she suddenly launched to her feet
and marched over to him.

	"Then why are you hard?" she asked and Christian had to strain to
hear the words.  She cupped his dick in her hand and he shuddered.  She
abruptly let him go, leaving him leaning towards her, seeking.  She stared
in his eyes for a few moments, then turned away, crying.

	"I'm going to take a shower, I'll be back," she said and stormed
off into the house.  Mannie stood there watching after her for a long,
silent time.  Christian backed out of the bushes, back the way he had come.

	Almost a week later, the two stood on his doorstep a few hours
after school.  Christian had just finished the chicken his mom had left in
the oven for him and was sitting down watching cartoons.  He hadn't
mentioned the incident he witnessed to Lakiesha or Mannie.  He respected
their privacy. Besides, he didn't understand what was going on between
them.  He had invited them in, given them iced tea and parked them in front
of the television, wary.

	Just when they were all laughing and Christian was relaxing around
them, Lakiesha's cell phone rang and she hopped up.

	"That's my dad, I forgot about my grandmother coming," she
exclaimed, glancing at the phone.  "I gotta go guys.  Chris, do me a favor
and drop Mannie off."  With that, she was out of the door.  Christian sat
there for a moment, shocked and weirded out.  He didn't like Mannie and
didn't want to be alone with him.

	"What time you gotta be home?" Christian asked, sitting up and
looking around for his keys.  The sooner Mannie was gone, the better.
Mannie didn't answer, he just sat there quietly.  Christian finally looked
over at Mannie and caught him staring.  Mannie was tall, way over six feet
with a light caramel complexion that was flawless.  He was skinny as a
rail, though and his nose was too big for his face.  If Christian had to
think about it, he would admit that Mannie was an alright looking guy.  He
wasn't drop dead gorgeous or anything, but he could hold his own.  There
was just something weird about him, some intensity that Christian couldn't
fathom.

	"I'm not in a rush," Mannie said and the lowness, the tenor of his
voice held significant meaning.  Christian looked at him, warily.  He was
certain that Lakiesha had told Mannie that he was gay.  At first, Lakiesha
had tried to hook the two of them up.  She had inadvertently found out that
Mannie was bisexual and in her unrecognized love for Mannie, had determined
that he and Christian were made for each other.  Christian had taken one
look at the guy and recognized trouble when he saw it.  Then, of course,
there were his stupid, unchangeable feelings for Wade.

	"Look, Mannie, I'm not interested," Christian said slowly and
Mannie grinned.  There was something odd about the expression.

	Mannie got up from his seat on the sofa and knelt in front of
Christian's chair.  At the look in his eyes, Christian felt himself
hardening against his will.

	"But you are interested in that jock," Mannie said quietly and
moved his hands so that they hovered right over Christian's crotch.
Christian tensed.  "Who told you that?" he hissed, wary and angry.

	"I got eyes," Mannie smiled, letting his hands rest on Christian's
now visible erection.  "I can see you drooling over him."

	Christian fought the urge to give in to the feelings Mannie was
evoking in him.  He squirmed as Mannie's hands moved up and down slowly.
He would never forget the look in Mannie's eyes.

	"You can pretend like I'm him," Mannie said softly and Christian's
breath caught in his chest.  He had dreamt about being with Wade in just
the way that he was with Mannie now.  He wanted to do what Mannie said,
close his eyes and pretend.  He thought of Lakiesha.

	"Lakiesha's in love with you," Christian protested and something
flashed in Mannie's eyes.  "And you love her, too."  Mannie nodded slowly.

	"Maybe I'll pretend that you're her," Mannie said and there was
sadness in his eyes.

	Christian moved to get up, but Mannie's hands persisted.  Moments
later, Christian couldn't even think straight.  His eyes were closed and he
was like Lakiesha had been a week earlier, head back, trembling and
thrashing at Mannie's insistent mouth.  When it was over, they never said a
word about it.

	For awhile, Christian had hated Mannie with an intense fervor that
puzzled Lakiesha.  Then, Mannie had announced that he had signed up for the
Marines and Christian had been relieved.  With Mannie, he somehow felt that
his friendship with Lakiesha was threatened.

	A month before he was scheduled to leave for boot camp, Mannie had
shown up on Christian's doorstep.  Christian was on the verge of shutting
the door in Mannie's face when Mannie just started bawling right there.
Instead, Christian came out of the house and sat down on the porch steps.
After a moment, Mannie stopped crying and followed suit.  Christian leaned
against the stair rail and waited.  Mannie gulped a few times and then
looked at Christian.

	"I hate myself," Mannie said miserably and Christian nodded.

	"Why?" he asked.

	Mannie looked up at the sky.  "I've never loved a girl," Mannie
said after a moment.  "I always loved guys, you know?  I mean, I could get
it up for a girl and even do the deed and half the time I like it just
fine.  But it was never fireworks like it is when I'm with a guy.  I got
used to that.  I adjusted and shit.  Then, I meet Kiesha.  I'm completely
in love, can you believe this?  I can't even look at her without getting
hard.  The way she moves her lips.  She gets this look in her eyes when she
looks at me.  It drives me crazy."

	"So, what's the problem?" Christian asked.

	"A straight relationship is completely different from a gay one,"
Mannie said.  "It's like when I'm with a guy we screw anywhere. It's
illicit, it's crazy.  With her, it's so fucking normal, nobody gives us a
second glance."

	Christian thought for a moment.  "I don't think a straight
relationship is so different from a gay one," Christian said.  "I mean, you
love someone and you're with them the best way you know how to be, you
know?  What's so different?"  Mannie sighed and ran a hand over his face.

	"I guess I haven't had exactly normal relationships with guys,"
Mannie admitted.  "They've been kind of wild and completely based on sex."

	"Like what you did to me?" Christian asked and Mannie looked away.
His throat worked for a few moments.

	"Exactly," Mannie admitted.

	"That wasn't normal," Christian informed him.  "You had me fucked
up in the head for weeks."

	"Well, I've been fucked up in the head a few times myself," Mannie
said.

	"So, what's missing with Kiesha is your being fucked up in the
head?" Christian asked.  Mannie laughed and nodded.  Then, he started
crying again.  Christian put a hand on his shoulder when the tears
lingered.

	"The thing is I keep hurting her," Mannie said through his tears.
"I'm screwing her over.  She loves me.  I don't know what I would do if she
didn't love me.  I've never had anybody love me the way she does.  I told
her that we were just going to be friends, but I can't keep my hands off of
her.  One minute, I'm telling her about some guy I fucked and the next I've
got her tits in my mouth.  What the hell am I doing?"

	"Is this why you're going to the Marines?' Christian asked.

	"Yes," Mannie said, wiping tears.  "To give her some room.  I want
to give her the chance to fall in love with someone normal."

	Less than a month later, he and Lakiesha waved goodbye to Mannie
who was peering out at Lakiesha from his seat on a Greyhound bus headed for
South Carolina.  The look in Mannie's eyes had been desolate, fearful and
glued to her as if he was memorizing every one of her features.  At that
moment, Christian knew he didn't hate Mannie anymore.  Instead, he felt
almost sorry for him.  Lakiesha's smile stayed in place until the bus was
out of sight.  Then, it fell and a deep sadness took its place.

	"How many guys do you think he'll find down there?" Lakiesha had
asked woodenly and Christian put an arm around her shoulders and led her to
the car.

	All of that had taken place months ago.  The summer had drug itself
tirelessly on.  Lakiesha had slowly gotten over Mannie's departure and this
had salvaged part of the summer.  Christian got a job taking ID photos at
the hospital where his mom was second shift Nursing Director.  He had saved
most of his money, dreaming of moving to New York or California when he
graduated from high school the next summer.  He felt restless and trapped.
He felt that if he could only get away from the shadow of Wade's presence,
things might turn out alright for him.