Date: Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:15:35 -0700
From: Eric <gensui_yamamoto@yahoo.com>
Subject: Weekend chapter 1

The usual stuff applies, if you are not legally old enough
to read this then don't.  This story is true to some extent.
The name, places, and ages have been changed to give it a
better flow.  This is my first story so please be gently.


    My name is Eric and I just turned 18 at the beginning
of the year.  I have brown eyes and dark brown hair which
makes me in my opinion pretty average.  I wish I was bigger
like all my brothers but I turned out to be the smallest at
5'7" and only 130 lbs.  I wear glasses and I guess I would
describe myself as a dork or nerd and the fact that I'm
smart and get straight A's helps reinforce that image.

     I pretty much figured out I was gay since I was 13.  I
really wasn't out of the closet with my family, with the
exception of my parents, or my friends from school.    If
anyone ever saw me they wouldn't be able to tell I was gay
unless I actually told them and no one ever questioned the
fact that I didn't date girls or for that matter had any
interest in them at all.  The only thing that was obvious
about me is that I always seemed weird to everyone or
different.
    As weird as I was I was easy going and well liked.  I
wasn't into sports and even though I was a nerd I was never
bullied or picked on.  I was kind of popular even though I
really didn't realize it.  It seemed like everyone knew who
I was but I had no clue who they were.  I had a small group
of friends in school but I really didn't hang out with them
after school.  I was a loner most of the time and I did my
best to distance myself from people including my family
because I just wanted to hide my feelings and all the other
shit I carry around.

     I knew my parents really didn't like me much on account
for so many things.  I guess I just never lived up to their
expectations.  Parents are supposed to love their children
but I knew my parents just tolerated me especially my
mother.  She would say things like, "If I had known you were
going to turn out this way I would never have given birth to
you," and something like, "Out of all my sons you turned out
the worst."  That's a pretty shitty thing to say to your own
son I thought.   My younger brother and sister practically
had it made while I on the other hand didn't.  I really
don't care though, let them play favorites and just leave me
alone.  My parents really didn't care what I did as long as
I didn't get into any trouble like getting beaten up,
arrested, or killed.

                            *****

     It was Friday, March 21, 2008.  Finally the weekend had
arrived and I can party.  I always went out on the weekends
to escape my family and pretty much all my worries and
problems.   I figured this Friday would turn out pretty
uneventful since nothing ever interesting happens to me.

     When I got home from school that day I was getting
ready for the rest of the day.  I picked out some clothes to
wear and took a quick shower.  I got my backpack and stuffed
all the things I would need like some DVDs and extra clothes
because you never know what might happen.  I looked at my
clock and it was getting close to that time my best friend
John would be picking me up.

     I've already told you about the friends I have in
school but my friends outside of school were something else.
The first thing about them is that they're all older than
me.  My best friend John was in his twenties I think and I
don't exactly remember how we met or how we even became
friends but I know I can always count on him.  He keeps an
eye out for me and always makes sure no one messes with me.
It also helps that he thinks I'm hot.  Now don't get any
ideas I wouldn't date him or anything because I'm really not
into older men.

     Being the youngest in the group wasn't a problem.
Everyone treated me like I was an equal and we would always
have fun.  Sometimes I they would tease me for being younger
but it was all in good fun.  I learned a lot by hanging out
with them and there was no way I would learn that in school
or from anyone my age.

     John picked me up at the usual time and I quietly left
the house.  Usually on Friday and Saturday afternoons John
and I just drink beer and get high while we watch a movie or
something. Sometimes our other friend Steve drops by for a
while and we play flash games on the internet before he goes
to work.  Most of the time its just John and I.

     Now the afternoons are just the warm up for the big
party at night.  John and I cut our drinking and smoking at
6 p.m. so we can sober up before we get really wasted.  He
takes a nap while I just use his computer to watch videos on
the internet or another movie.  When 9 p.m. rolls around
we're ready and we leave for the party.

     The parties are cool and lots of people usual come.  I
hung out with John and some of his gay friends while we all
get drunk.  That's when I noticed a new guy at the party.
He looked to be about my age and I shit you not he was one
of the hottest guys I have ever seen.  You know those
statues of Greek or Roman gods, well this guy looked like
that.  He had dark hair and brown eyes and was probably a
few inches taller than me and he obviously worked out a lot.
After the moment of watching him passed I just dismissed
him.  I mean he probably hangs out with a different crowd
and he's got to be straight.

     John has a way of being friends with almost everyone so
I shouldn't have been surprised when the hot guy joined our
group.  I found out his name was Jesse and he'd just come to
town.  I asked where he lived but was disappointed to find
out he lived on the other side of the city.  He seemed
really friendly and to my amazement he was being friendlier
with me than anyone else.  But I really didn't think
anything of it because he must be doing it since we're the
same age and everyone else in the group is older.  Even
though he's straight I still enjoyed the attention.

     John and I were going to leave the party to go back to
his place and drink and smoke some weed and Jesse asked,
"Hey John can I come and join you guys?"

    "Of course I don't see why not. The more the merrier.
We just gotta wait for Dave and his girlfriend Angela to
pick us up since they're barely getting out of work right
now," John said.

    "Well I have my car and I can take one of you with me
and then we'll all meet up at the apartment," Jesse said.

     "So who wants to ride with me?" Jesse asks.  Looking
back on it now I seemed a bit too eager and I yelled, "I'll
go!"

     "Alright Eric let's go."

     As we were leaving Dave and Angela showed up so I knew
they wouldn't be too far behind us.  I was pretty drunk by
the time we left and Jesse hadn't had a drop it seemed so I
didn't have to worry about us being pulled over.  In between
giving him directions we talked.

    "I really didn't like hanging out with anyone at the
party.  I did enjoy hanging out with you and John, you guys
seem real cool."

     "Thanks I liked hanging out with you too." I looked at
him and he smiled at me and I blushed but in the dark I'm
sure he didn't notice.

    We got to John's apartment first and then John showed
up with Dave and Angela.  John let us in and we all took a
seat.  Dave and Angela sat on the sofa and John sat at his
desk and put some music on.  I'm not in the music thing but
John put on some Paolo Nutini and I didn't mind since I
thought the guy was hot.  I put my jacket and backpack on
the chair I usually sat in and quickly used the bathroom
because I was drinking a lot of beer.

     I got a beer from John's refrigerator and came back
into the room and Jesse was sitting in my chair.  He didn't
know it was my chair so I didn't mind and took the chair
next to him.

    "Remember guys to keep it down because my roommate is
asleep," John said.

     John got his pipe out and filled it with some weed and
took a toke off of it then passed it to Jesse.  Jesses
passed it to me and I couldn't help but laugh a little at
him coughing.  After awhile I was pretty high and drunk.  I
would occasionally glance at Jesse and he kept giving me a
strange look.  Even though I thought he was straight I never
did ask him for confirmation and anyway I would have been
too embarrassed to ask.  I thought about it and I never told
him I was gay but I didn't think that mattered though.  I
just enjoyed his friendship and that was more than enough
for me.

     After thinking a few minutes to myself Jesse leans over
and whispers in my ear but I was so drunk and high I forgot
what it was the moment he said it but I did notice that it
had a double meaning and I accidentally yelled, "What!?"  No
one seemed to notice my little outburst and Jesse pretended
like he didn't say anything.  By this point I was getting
really confused.

     When I calmed a bit down I just listened to Jesse
talking how boring it was here in town and how he wanted to
move to San Diego and then he whispered to me again.

     "If I moved to San Diego would you come visit me Eric?"

    I was kind of shocked that he only asked me and I was
at a loss for words.  I'm sure my face looked all red but
then the subject quickly changed and I was saved from being
even more embarrassed.  I was pissed with myself that I
couldn't talk.  If I wasn't such a dork I would have said,
"Hell Yea!"
    I was really getting nervous and confused and he just
kept up at it for a while longer.  Every time I would look
at him he would just smile and I would crack a small smile
back.  Then a few times he even would wink at me and I was
just trying my best to keep myself composed.  It took every
ounce of self control not to just kiss him.

    It was getting late and Dave and Angela left.  Jesse
was getting ready to leave also but said he'd come by
Saturday afternoon to hang out awhile.  "Awesome," I thought
to myself I get to spend more time with him.  Jesse left and
I got my cell phone out to call my dad and have him pick me
up and take me home.

      "Hi dad, can you come pick me up? I'm ready to go
home."

    "No sorry Eric, your mother and I are up here at the
casino. Why don't you just call a cab and I'll pay you

back."

     "Alright bye."

     "Bye."

     "Huh, figures that they'd be up there," I thought.

     "Uh hey John can you call me a cab to come pick me up."

     "Sure I can do that for you."

    When I got home I was confused with the way Jesse was
acting and I just couldn't stop thinking about him.  I
decided that sleeping will help clear my mind.  I would have
to get up early and get ready for John to come by and pick
me up.

                            *****

    It was Saturday afternoon and I was already drunk and
high.  John and I were watching Dr. Strangelove on his
computer because his roommate was watching his own movie on
the T.V. in the living room.  After we were 30 minutes into
the movie John got a call on his cell phone.  I listened to
John give whoever it was on the phone some directions to the
apartment.
     "Hey John who was that on your cell phone?"

     "It was Jesse he needed direction for getting over
here."

    I started to get real nervous when John mentioned it
was Jesse.  I forced myself to just stay calm and keep
watching the movie. A few moments later Jesse got to the
door and John let him in.  I just about died when I saw
Jesse because he was even hotter today than he was last
night.  He was wearing a tank top and jeans.   I thought to
myself, "If I just force myself not look at him everything
would be fine."

     "Hey lil Eric, how's it goin?"

     "Um.hello I'm doing ok."

     "No eye contact Eric?"

     Shit he noticed. I had to think of something quick.  So
I forced myself to turn around in my seat and prove to him
that I can look him in the eye. I tilted my head up then
raised my eyes and looked into his.  When I saw his face he
gave me his sexy smile and I immediately turned around and
watched the movie. I felt my face on fire.

     "He just has to know what he's doing.  I can tell he's
doing this on purpose.  He must know I'm gay and he's just
teasing me. What kind of game is he playing," I thought.

     Jesse stuck around for about 40 minutes getting high
with us and then bought some weed off of John and said he'd
see us later tonight at the party.  If I thought I was
confused last night I was more confused today.  I knew I
just had to keep this to myself for the time being.  I
couldn't let John know what's going on because I know how he
would react.  He'll get really protective since he doesn't
want me getting my feelings hurt.

    In the living room I could hear John's roommate Randy
talking with him.  So I just listened to them talk.

     "So who was that?"

    "That's just a new friend of ours.  His name is Jesse
and he was over here last night."

     "Well how come you didn't wake me up?"

     John and I just busted up laughing.  The one time Randy
wants to be awake in the middle of the night is only because
we have a hot guy in the apartment.  After John and I quit
laughing Randy asked, "Do you think he's gay?" I immediately
focused my attention on what John was going to say.

     "Maybe, I think he's one of those guys on the down
low."
     "Oh my God, John thinks Jesse might be gay," I thought.
"Get a hold of yourself Eric, John only thinks Jesse is gay
and that's totally different from knowing for sure.  Besides
why would Jesse be attracted to me, the dork, when he's so
hot he could have anyone he wants."

                            *****

    We met up with Jesse at the party and he seemed in a
real good mood.  In fact he was friendlier with me than the
night before.  I didn't mind though I liked the attention.
I was drinking a lot of beer and Jesse suggested that I do
some shots with him.

       "So you wanna get Eric real drunk?" John said.

     Jesse and I ignored the comment and I said, "Sure let's
go for it."  I knew if I drank the way I did I would
probably blackout and that was the one thing I didn't want.
If I blackout with Jesse around I would do or say something
that would fuck everything up and I didn't want to lose him
as a friend.  So I did my best to pace myself and I did a
pretty good job at it.  At the end of the night I didn't
feel all that fucked up.

     When it came time for us to leave and party more at
John's, I decided to ride again with Jesse.  Jesse seemed a
little nervous though.

     "Man I drank a bit I hope I don't get pulled over."

     "Don't worry I'm here with you and I had a lot more to
drink and I'm fine."

     Twenty minutes after we were at John's apartment we
were already high.  Dave came over and John put some music
on.  We decided to play some poker dice and we taught Jesse
to play.  While we played I just talked to Jesse.

     "Hey Eric do you dance?"

     I laughed, "The only way I dance is if I'm really drunk
and the person I'm dancing with is really hot." I purposely
said person instead of saying guy or girl just to see where
he was going with this.

     "Really? Me too. We're a lot alike."

       "I wonder how much you are like me," I thought.

    Jesse kept giving me little smiles here and there and
being so drunk and high I got a little brave.  I would

occasionally smile at and him touch his left knee with my

hand or I would get real close so that our legs were

touching while we sat.    He didn't seem bothered at all but

I didn't want to push my luck so I backed off a bit. The

whole time I was with him I felt my face was on fire and the

room was really hot and I just hoped that no one would

notice.

     "Hey you know what I'm hungry for Eric?"

     "What?"

     "Sushi."

     "Cool. You know I'm half Japanese and my mom knows how
to make sushi. Maybe you can come over to my house and my
mom will show you."


     "Really? That would be great."


     "Wow," I thought. "Just thinking of him being inside my
house is exciting."


     It was getting late and Dave left.  I was getting tired
too and Jesse got up to leave. We said our goodbyes and he
was gone.  I just sat there thinking how good he made me
feel, not in a sexual way although I would like to see him
naked.  He actually did make me feel special in a way.  Most
of my friends were John's friends but Jesse was different.
Sure he met John before me but I felt like he was the first
friend I made on my own.


    I told John to call me a cab and this time my parents
weren't going to be paying for the late night ride at 4 a.m.
I didn't mind though the $17 cost on the cab was money well
worth spent if I could just be around Jesse for a few hours
longer.  I got home and I guess I just passed out since it
was late and I was exhausted.
                            *****
    When I woke up on Sunday it was 6:45 p.m.  "Shit," I
said, "I slept though the whole day."  I decided to get
online and see if there was anyone I could talk to on
instant messenger.  I saw my friend Anthony online and
decided to ask him for some advice on the situation since I
couldn't tell John.  I won't go in depth on everything he
told me but he put some doubt in my mind and I started going
into denial.

     "Maybe Jesse isn't gay," I thought, "Anthony said I'm
not looking at it objectively and he's right.  I'm attracted
to Jesse and that's making it hard for me to really think.
I'm not thinking clearly because I was drunk, high, lonely
and depressed.  The things Jesse said and did were just in
my imagination and I just looked too deep into it.  He just
wants to be my friend and that's all it is. He can't be even
remotely attracted to a loser like me anyway.  I'll wait for
next week and if I see him again I'm going to pay closer
attention and be focused and try to figure him out."




Please send questions or comments to
gensui_yamamoto@yahoo.com.  In the subject line please put
the name of the story because I do get a lot of spam.