Date: Sun, 16 Aug 2009 20:40:36 +0100
From: Dale Lewis <yettie0711@hotmail.com>
Subject: When You Come Out: Find a Friend

This is part three of the story.

Previously: Dale has just slept with his best mate even though he has a
girlfriend. Part three is the morning after the night before...
_____________________________________________________________________

WHEN YOU COME OUT!

Find a Friend
----------------

It's amazing how many times things will often totally confused you even
though they should be simple. For example, if you a walking up the stairs
in your house in the dark and you think there is one more step than there
is. Your foot falls down through the air and even though it's obvious that
you thought there was one more step then there is it does not stop you from
feeling a sense of surprise and sickly confusion for a few seconds.

Another confusing moment is the ending of the Danny Boyle movie "Sunshine".
What the hell was that all about? If you've not seen it, watch it and I
challenge you to understand it! Ha ha!

Another annoying thing is how dreams can become reality but it's usually a
nightmare. Sometimes something can happen the night before then you fall
asleep and maybe you have a dream about it. Then, in the morning, you wake
up and for the three blissful seconds you think it was all a dream until
your memory jolts you awake and forces you to sit bolt upright as you
remember: I just fucked my best mate!

How had this happened? Why was I being so stupid? I was not gay. No way! I
looked over to see Reece still asleep. Annoyingly, the weather outside was
brilliant sunshine; a stark contrast to what I was feeling. "Maybe he would
forget we did it and though it was a dream!" I thought to myself in
desperation. "No, now I'm just being even more stupid. Well at least get
away from this dirty fucker!" And I leapt from the bed and dressed myself
as fast as I could. I left the room to take the usual morning piss in the
toilet. When I had finished pissing, I was too deep in thought to put my
cock back in my pants. The problem was that I didn't know what to think.
Was I angry? Was I upset? Was I scared? Happy? At least I knew I was
confused! A tear escaped and rolled down my cheek almost as a symbol of the
moment my life was going to change forever.

I snapped out of my trance long enough to put my cock away and flush the
toilet. I couldn't bear going back into my room and see Reece so I went
downstairs to the living room but this didn't help much. The empty Hollow
Man DVD case was lying on the floor reminding me of the moment it had all
started.

"Dale?" I turned around to see Reece standing in the doorway. "Are you ok?"

My confusion turned to anger. "And now what? Am I supposed to throw my arms
around you and kiss you? Then are we going to go on a massive emotional
journey together as we come out to our parents and friends? Is that what
you were expecting?"

Reece shook his head silently.

"Well sorry to disappoint you "mate" but I'm not a queer like you. Do you
make friends with all the boys you fancy? Do you trick them all into liking
you hoping that they'll stick there cocks in your dirty faggot arse?"

"Oh will you just listen to yourself?" Reece argued back. "You sound
pathetic! You think you would have done all that just because I tricked
you? I seem to remember you enjoying it as much as I did! You're upset at
the moment so I'll forgive you for calling me what you just did but when
you finished acting a like a bastard let me know!" With that he turned and
left through the front door, slamming it closed.

"I'M NOT A QUEER!" I yelled after him.

"Dale what the hell is going on?" My mum had appeared where Reece had just
left. "What are you shouting about?"

My anger was replaced with fear and I went numb. How much had she heard?

"N...nothing, mum. Just something between me and Reece," I replied quietly,
hoping that would be the end of the conversation.

"You and Reece? Queer?," her face fell. "Are you gay?"

My anger returned and mixed with the fear and, as anybody who has felt
these two emotions together will know, they mix to cause a dangerous
reaction called irrationality. My anger burned over and I was no longer in
control. I pushed my mum out of the way and charged through the door. I ran
down the garden path and out onto the street to see Reece walking and
nearing the end of it. I chased after him and what I did next I'm still
feel very guilty about.

When I reached him I push him to the floor. He landed and rolled over and I
kicked him in his side. Luckily in my anger I had forgotten to put shoes
on. Reece yelped in pain before rolling away and jumping to his feet. He
came at me and punched me right in the mouth. I felt pain as my bottom lip
split. I grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and punched him in his
stomach. He bent over as the air escaped him but he quickly came round to
punch me in the face again before bringing his knee up to collide with my
stomach.

"BREAK IT UP!" It was Prick (Paul), my mum's boyfriend. He was running down
the street to us with my mum following behind. He put his hands around my
middle and dragged me kicking and screaming away from Reece. "ACT YOUR
AGE!" he yelled as he pushed me down and pinned me to the grass verge. With
Prick's large bodyweight I was powerless with him on top of me. "GO HOME
REECE!" Prick waited until Reece was out of sight before letting me go.
"What the hell was all that about?" He asked as I got up.

But I was not ready to calm down. Irrationality was now turning into
recklessness and I was ready to shout at anyone and everyone. "Oh don't
play the concerned father-in-law type figure!"

"You need to watch you temper son!" Prick said pointing his large finger at
me.

"You are the last person that should be saying that!" I yelled back. By
now, the poor neighbour living inside the house next to where I was
shouting had been woken up and was standing at the window. God I was making
such a scene and such a fool of myself! "I know what you do to her when
you've had a few drinks!" I pointed at my mum. "How many times do you
expect me to accept that you get all those bruises from walking into doors.
Either he's like all of your other boyfriends or you are one clumsy bitch!"
"Oh my god!" I thought to myself. "I've just swore at my mum. What am I
doing?"

My mum turned around and stormed off in tears.

"I think you need to go somewhere to calm down," Prick growled at me before
walking after my mum.

Recklessness was replaced with guilt. In my rage I had beaten up my best
mate, and taking it out on mum. Both of whom were innocent and the only
evil person out of all three of them was Prick and he had escaped without a
scratch (physical or emotional).

As I looked up at the neighbour still staring at me, my guilt swelled into
sorrow and I just started running. I didn't even know where I was running
to other than forwards. I had to get away from everything and everyone.

I don't really know how I got there but I ended up at the tree where I came
with Louise. The blazing sunshine forced the tree to cast a long shadow but
the park was still deserted due to it being early in the morning on New
Years Day. And as I stared into the beautiful flowers my emotion finally
ended up where it should have been from the start: self-pity. I sat down,
brought my knees up so I could rest my head and cried...

-X-

I rapped my knuckles on the door and waited for someone to answer. I
couldn't go home after what I had done so here was the only place I had
left. The door opened to reveal my auntie standing there.

"Dale? How nice to see you!" She beamed at me, "Come in!"

"Sorry Auntie Karen but I can't stay. I need to talk to Uncle David's
brother," I replied.

"You want to talk to Richard?" The serious look on my face convinced her
that I needed to speak with Richard urgently so she did not press the
matter or ask how I had got that scar on my lip. She asked Uncle David to
drive me to his brothers' house as I did not actually know where he
lived. Richard had a car too and as Richard could drive me home there was
no need for David to hang around.

Richard and I sat down in the living room with coffees on the coffee table.
"When did you know?" I asked him. I didn't need to go into detail. He knew
exactly what I was asking him and he had probably guessed why.

"Probably when I was 13" he replied. "I used to fancy the teaching
assistant who was training to be a teacher in my geography class. He was
tall slim and blond and about 25. Oh he was fit!" He was grinning as he
remembered.

"Did anything ever happen with him?"

"Oh yes! He was training for ages! I don't know what was holding him up but
he was still there training when I was 16 and he still looked as fit as
ever. He must have been working out because he started to look defined and
the shirts only made him look hotter! One morning, I needed the toilet
during Science class and as I was heading there he was walking down the
same corridor. I smiled at him and glanced at his crotch like I always did
before I went into bathroom. I took a piss and heard the door open
again. It was him.

"I've seen you looking," he said to me grinning. "I think you are really
hot now you're starting to change into a fit young man. It's just a shame
teachers are not allowed to do anything with pupils," he sighed and headed
for the door.

"No, wait! I won't tell anyone!" I said. Of course, now I know that that
was exactly what he wanted me to say but back then I was still a little
naïve. He turned back to face me, still grinning but this time with a
massive hard cock aching to get out of his trousers! He advanced on me as
my teenage cock grew hard. I wanted this man so much! He was a little
taller than me so had to bend down to kiss me before leading me into a
stall.

"We'll have to be quick in case someone comes in," he whispered, kissing me
and undoing my trousers.

"I've never...never..." I stammered.

"Oh really? Never?" he grinned. "Well we'll just kiss and play with each
other's cocks then if this is you first time." He thrust his hand down my
pants to feel my hard wet cock and he began to massage it. Oh it felt so
good! He undid his pants and out came a massive cock! It must have been
about 9 inch! It was really thick too and he had a gorgeous set of blond
pubes. With this being my first time, I didn't last long so in seconds I
was moaning that I was gonna cum. He knelt down and took my cock in his
throat as I shot my load. He stood back up and kissed me and I could taste
my own cum in his mouth. I wanked his gorgeous cock as hard as I could and
soon he was moaning that he was going to shoot soon.

"Do you want to taste my cum? Put it in you mouth."

I obeyed and knelt down and his cock exploded. He shot so much that I
couldn't swallow it all in time. Some of it leaked down my chin and down
his cock to his pubes and he tasted great!

Sorry, I got a little carried away there." Richard, who had been starring
into space while he was reliving the story, snapped out of his trace and
looked at me. "For a straight guy, you took that story pretty well. You
must be very open-minded."

My stomach gave a little jolt as I realised that it was now my turn to
talk. "How did you feel afterwards?" I asked.

"A mixture of excited and fear I suppose," he replied as he tried to
remember, "but mainly excitement. I knew I would have that blond stud
again. He invited me to his house on loads of occasions and we did
allsorts: wanking, sucking, fucking and more. And I was right about him
working out because, when he took his top off, he was nice and defined.
Such a stud! And that man knew how to fuck! He had me in every position."

"You didn't feel angry?"

Richard leaned forward. "Dale. What's the matter?"

I went numb as I was getting close to the reason about why I was here. This
was silly! How could I be getting nervous about coming out to a gay guy!? I
looked at the floor. Somehow this made it easier to say. "I slept with
Reece last night," I mumbled.

"Reece?" he asked. He reacted as though this was completely normal. Of
course he was going to be fine with this! Why was I feeling so nervous? I
was just being silly!

"He's my best mate," I replied still looking down.

"How do you feel?"

I just burst into tears there and then as though that question was the most
upsetting thing I had ever heard. Why was I crying so much? I just didn't
understand any of this. It was all so confusing. What was happening to me?

Richard leaned over from his side of the couch to mine to hug me. He got me
a tissue from the Kleenex box on the coffee table and handed it to me.

"It's ok. Let it all out. So do you think you might be gay or was you
curious?"

"When I was with him, it was fantastic. I've never fancied a girl as much
as I fancied him. He just so hot," I said wiping my eyes with the tissue. I
was still looking at the floor.

"How is Reece feeling about all this?"

A huge jolt of guilt hit me that stopped me crying. I deserved the guilt
after what I had done to him earlier that day. "He's probably nursing a
black eye right about now." I told him everything. I told him about the
fight on the street and how I had upset my mum.

"It doesn't matter if you are gay or straight, punching your mate is never
going to help. And if you are gay then the last thing you need is someone
telling you what to do but it always helps to have a friend."

"Reece was my only friend so now I have none."

"There's me and Tim. That's two." Tim was Richard's boyfriend. I finally
looked up and for the first time that day I actually smiled! "Just promise
me that you're not going to give either of us a black eye." He grinned at
me.

I laughed a little. "Promise," I said.

I had had one of the worst days of my life but Richard had made me feel a
little better. I still felt guilty about my mum and Reece of course. I
didn't know where my future was going but at least now after feeling anger
and fear turn into irrationality turn into recklessness turn into guilt
turn into self-pity, I finally felt ok.
_____________________________________________________________________

Part 4 is on its way soon. Feel free to e-mail me about this story:
yettie0711@hotmail.com.