Date: Mon, 07 May 2001 06:14:02
From: Flash F. <flash_f_@hotmail.com>
Subject: When's-It-My-Turn?  (Gay, Highschool)

Disclaimer: You're at a gay site, get over it. If you want to read my story,
go on, be my guest, read! If you don't, well you know where the back button
is...yep right up there. Anyways, if you find gay material in any way
offensive, DON'T READ! Understood? Good! Enjoy!

This story is also semi-fiction, semi-non-fiction.

This story is for Sarah, Daniel, Steven, and Michael. Thanks for being great
friends to me over the past months. You don't know how much it really means
to me.




Yeah, I'm different. I've always known that I was different. I think it took
me about 2 years to finally realize it, starting in about 8th grade. Yep,
I'm gay.  I didn't want to be this way, but I am. There is nothing I can do
to change it.  High school has been tough. Especially growing up in a small
Iowa town.  Not exactly the gay capital of the world.  Sure, I've had
friends. But not true friends. You know what I mean? Just the kind of people
that come into your life, then eventually disappear before your very eyes.
I'm kind of a loner at school. I mostly like to stick to myself, read a book
in the corner, sit alone at lunch.  I'm shy at most times, but if I'm around
people that I know, I can get pretty talkative and obnoxious at times.  But
yeah, I stick mostly to myself. I don't "act" gay I guess. I'm not
flamboyant or tart or whatever you want to call it...I'm just me.

I've had many crushes my sophomore year in high school. Spotting cute boys
walking down the hall wishing that I had them. I just don't mean for sex
either. I'm the kind of person who would refuse just to have "casual" sex
with someone then forget them the next day. I was longing for someone to
love, and praying for someone to love me back for who I was, for what I am,
and what I stand for.  Yeah, with my luck, I should be happy that it hasn't
got out that Jason Moore is fag.  Yep, that's me. Jason.  I stand about 6
foot 5 (yes I'm tall, you can close your mouths now) and about weigh about
225. I'm not exactly "fat" but I'm not skinny either, I'm kinda thrown
in-between. I have brown hair the turns kind of blonde in the summer and
green/brown eyes that always change with the seasons.  Music has always been
a big part of my life. I'm the person who you would say to "What the hell
are you listening to?"  Yeah, I like pretty funky bands all right, (We can
get to that later) Well, enough about me, lets get the ball rolling. Here's
my first (and hopefully not my last) installment of "When's It My Turn?"




"Jason! Get up! School!", my mother shouted as she opened my bedroom door.

"Damn" I thought to myself as I woke up. I'm not a morning person and school
doesn't exactly thrill me.  After about 5 more minutes of thinking about
getting up, I got up.  I pulled a towel off the stand in the hallway,
wrapped it around my naked body and headed towards the bathroom for my
morning shower.  I turned on both faucets, hot all the way of course and
just a smidge of cold. Waited a while then hopped in.  I lathered up, soaped
up, rinsed off then hopped out. Dried myself off then headed back to my
room.  I threw on a black barenaked ladies t-shirt (the band you geeks) and
a pair of jeans.

"Later!", My Dad called out to me as I got out of his squad car. Kind of
makes sense eh? I'm going to school (prison) so why not take a squad car?
Actually, my Dad has been a deputy for Iowa for about 20 years now, you get
used to riding to school in a squad car. Of course you get your daily laughs
from people, but you get used to it.

"Hey Garrett! What's up?", I said as I entered the school. Garrett, my one
true friend. Just like most friends, he can be an ass sometimes but most of
the time he's a cool guy. We get along pretty well (most of the time) And
that's just it, he's a FRIEND, nothing more.  Kind of person you could talk
to about anything, even if he didn't want to talk back.

"Nothing much...did you get Paulsen's assignment done for Bio today?"
Garrett said.

"...aww crap! I completely forgot!  What a perfect way to start an already
horrible Monday."
"Already?"
"Well I woke up didn't I?"
"Ah, true enough." He said with a smile.
"Look," I said, "I gotta get to DuPuis' English class ASAP, I'm late as it
is and I don't feel like getting chewed out today."
"Ok that's cool...make sure you say hi to your lover for me!"  He said
laughing as I walked away. I instantly shot him a dirty look. I didn't want
to the whole student body to hear him! Of course he's talking about a boy
I've obsessed about over the past few months. Daniel Myers.  Sure we chatted
a few times, but other then that he didn't know I existed.  Plus, he had a
girlfriend, what chance did I have? Oh well, I thought to myself. I then
trotted off to English, the only class of the day I didn't entirely hate.
Heck, all we ever did was read in that class, fine by me!

School was pretty much the same as always. I sat, I listened, and I did the
work. Man, I just realized I was hungry. Thank God, lunch. I sat down at my
usual table, Garrett and I along with a few other outcasts.

"Jason....?"  Garrett suddenly said.
"Yeah?" I said looking up from my macaroni and cheese.
"Why don't you just tell Dan that you know...have feelings for him? I mean
its not he could be you up or anything!" He said with a toothy grin.
"You know damn well why I can't. I'm probably the shyest kid at school; I'm
surprised I even talk with him period." I said in a loud whisper.
"DUDE! LOOK!" Garrett said pointing a finger past me. I hurriedly turned
around just in time to see Mallory throw her milk all over Dan's shirt.

"YOU FUCKING ASS HOLE!" She screamed in a high pitched voice as she got up
to leave. She darted for the door but Dan was right behind her and grabbed
her arm.

"Wait Mal! Don't go let me explain!"
"What is there to explain Daniel? You got head from your best friend and
that's supposed to be ok with me? SCREW YOU AND LET GO OF MY ARM." She
forcefully dislodged her arm from Dan's grasp.  All he could do was watch
her storm down the hall.  I got up from where I was sitting and came up from
behind him.

"Whoa, what was THAT all about, Dan?"  I asked him. He looked up at me...his
eyes were full of tears.
"N-n-nothing please let me be alone." He said as he walked off in the
opposite direction of Mallory.

"Well isn't that interesting?", Garrett remarked from behind me.  I watched
Dan walk away with concern in my eyes. What was Mallory talking about? Dan's
best friend, Bryan, gave him head?




Later That Night

"It was the weirdest thing" I typed, then hit alt-s to send the message to
my best friend over the net, Jane, on ICQ.

"Yeah, maybe it's a sign? :)   ...Look dude, sorry I gotta jet, I got to get
some sleep." She wrote back.

"Hey, no problem, have a nice night, Jane", I finally wrote back. I noticed
I was getting pretty sleepy too. I logged off the net and started to get
ready for bed. As I was about to fall asleep my personal phone line rang.
What the hell? I thought to myself as I reached for the phone.

"Hello?", I answered with an irritated voice.
"...Jason?", Dan's voice came through the phone line. I sat straight up.
"Um yeah, hey what's wrong?"
"Look, I know I acted like an ass today during lunch. I was just at a loss
for words; I didn't know what to say."
"Hey look, it's no problem really...", I didn't want to bring up the subject
of WHY it happened.
"I know its late..but can I ask you something?"
"Shoot."
"Can I talk to you tomorrow? In private after school or something?"
"Yeah, that's no problem, sure thing."
"Thanks man for being a friend, I gotta go now. See ya tomorrow."  He called
me a friend...




PART 2 Coming soon!

That was my first attempt at a nifty type story, so don't chew my head off!
:0)  Comments, suggestion, and criticism?
E-mail me at flash_f_@hotmail.com