Date: Thu, 07 Feb 2002 18:25:11 -0500
From: T B <pyro1677@hotmail.com>
Subject: Where It Began 2

Disclaimer:  If you are not 18 or the legal age in the state you live
             Please leave now. If reading a story about a (or two) gay
             Teen(s) is not what you are looking for then please leave
             Now.


				     Chapter 2


I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew was the cleaned
up mess from the broken vase and a nurse bringing in some lunch.  I just
looked at the tray then pushed it aside. I didn't want to eat.  I didn't
want anything, I felt betrayed and numb, I knew WHY I had to be caterated
but still my parents making that desicion without talking to ME about it.
I don't think so, that was unfair, no one asked what I thought or how I
felt, that just isn't right.

The doctor came in a little while later and saw I didn't eat anything.
He checked me over then sat in a chair by my bed.

"Aaron I know you are upset, but throwing a vase and not eating and
saying you hate people isn't going to help you.  You have to talk and let
us know how you feel, right now your hormone levels are falling, and I
know that has to be hurting you." what does he know he isn't casturated
is he? "Maybe I don't know directly how you feel and I am SO SORRY that
this had to happen but we told you if not you could have died" at least
I would have had all of my parts if that happend I thought.

"Maybe you don't want to hear this but your parents love you and are
upset at the out break that you had.  We have talked and you are going to
be seeing a psyciestrist in the next week to talk about your problems and
what has happened."  fuck you I don't think so.  "Aaron please talk to me
and tell me what you are thinking or how you feel please." he said with
a pleading tone.  I just looked at him gave him the bird and said.

"Fuck You" then turned my head away.  I will NEVER forgive them for what
they did to me.  He just sighed got up and walked out.  A nurse came in
with my release papers then walked out.  I got up carefully because I was
still hurting and got dressed.  My parents and a nurse came in
with a wheelchair and I looked at it. I just shook my head and started
walking towards the door.  The nurse stopped me.

"Sorry but this is how things work.  You sit and I push got it." she said
in a friendly tone.  I looked at her smiled shot the bird then walked
out, slowly but I was soon walkeing a little better then before.  The
doctor saw me smiled and stopped me.

"Why aren't you in the wheel chair? It is hospital policy, you must be
wheeled down." he said.  I just gave him a dead stair then walked past
him.  He grabbed my shoulder and tried to pull me to the chair, I whirled
around and grabbed his hand and bent it backwards.

"DON'T EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN." I yelled.  I released his hands looked
hatred to my parents and walked away.  I heard another doctor ask the
other one what happened but I didn't hear the response I keep walking.
I heard someone running up behind me and they put there hand on my
shoulder.

"Young man that is not acceptable you WILL apologize to the doctor and go
in the wheel chair do you understand?" the guy that is the shrink said
to me.  I just turned looked at him, with all of the hate I could and
simply said

"FUCK YOU, don't you DARE tell me what to do. I HATE YOU, MY PARENTS and
THAT FUCKING DOCTOR" I said. I shrugged his hand off and got on the
elevator as the doors opened.  I closed them and headed down stairs.
The doors opened and I walked out side and waited on my parents.  About
5 mintues later they came down.

"Son that wasn't really nice you know.  We know you are hurting but being
that mean isn't fair" said my dad.  I just looked at him and walked away.
I saw where the car was and walked to it.  When I got there I turned
around and saw my parents coming this way talking.  The finally got there
and we headed home.  It was a quite drive.

When we got home and went in mom asked me if I wanted anything to eat I
just ignored her and went up stairs to my room. I was tired and sore and
I wanted to rest.  I was so mad it wasn't even funny.  I heard a soft
knock on my door then it opened, it was my dad.  He came in and I turned
away from him, I wasn't about to start talking to him now. He sat quitely
for a few minutes.

"Son we are sorry.  We don't know what to do, but please don't be mean or
hateful to us, we did what we had to do, I know you are hurting but son we
wanted you to live." he said, I could hear sorrow in his voice, I heard
the bed-room door open again.

"You don't know what I am feeling, or what I am thinking. You two are
barely there anyway, I would have prefered to die then to have my balls
cut off, so don't you DARE tell me you know how I feel, now GET OUT." I
said. My dad got up and I heard him and my mom who was crying leave my
room.  I feel asleep.

I awoke about 2 in the morning and was in pain and was hungry.  I grabbed
my bottles of pill, took one then went to the kitchen, no one was up, if
they were I would have just went back to bed.  I fixed a sandwich grabbed
a class of water and sat down.  I started eating, after I ate I took my
pill. I wrenched out my plate and turned around and saw my dad there
smiling at me.

"Finally got hungry uh?" he asked, I just looked at him then walked past
him to my room without saying a word.  I think I hurt him, good I am hurt
too.  I went to my room crawled under my covers and went to sleep.

******************

The next morning I awoke around noon, I guess the pills really put me
out.  I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth instead of a shower took
a bath and was careful around my empty scrotam sack, I just looked down
and silently cried.  After about 10 mintues I finally bathed got out and
dried off.  I walked to my room, pulled on a pair of boxers, and went
down stairs. My mom was in the kitchen drinking coffee and reading the
paper.  She looked up when I came in and smiled.

"Good morning did you sleep well?  Do you want something to eat?" she
asked, I just ignored her and fixed me a bowl of cereal. She looked at me
but didn't say anything.  About an hour later, while I was back in my
room, there was a knock on the door. "Honey you have a doctors appointment
in an hour.  You need to get ready." then she walked off.  I just sighed
and said fuck it.

OK I thought so I got up and got dressed.  I went down staris when my
mom said it was time to go.  It was a quite ride and I staired out the
window the entire time ignoreing my mom as she tried to talk and joke, she
finally gave up.  We arrived about 20 minutes later. We walked in and
went up to the 3rd floor.  When we got off of the elevator I sat down and
my mom went and told the receptianest that I was there.  She came and sat
beside me and put her hand on my arm, I pulled my arm away and went and
sat on the other side of the room.  She looked hurt but I didn't care, I
am tired of them trying to make me feel better.  A few minutes later the
door opened and Dr. Prescot came out.

"Hi and how are you two doing today?" he asked, I just turned my head
away.  My mom answeard and said 'fine'.  "Why don't I talk to your mom
alone, for a few minutes ok?" he asked.  I just shruggged my shoulder and
keep turned away from him.  They walked into his office, and shut the
door, I just continued staring out of the window.  About 15 minutes later
the door opened my mom came out and I was called in.  I walked in sat in
a chair and turned away from the doc.

"Well I just spent the last few minutes talking to your mom and she told
me all about what happened after you got home.  Why don't you tell me
about it." he said.  I just continued staring away from him.  A
few minutes later he talked again.  "Ok I see you don't want to talk
well I will.  As we have said before we are sorry that this has happened
to you, and no I don't know how you feel, I wish I could make you feel
better, but only you can do that.  You need to open up and tell us how
you feel, so we can help you Aaron. I do want to help, I know you are
depressed that is VERY obviouse, but in order to help you I need to know
what is going on in that head of yours." he said.  I knew I would NOT
talk to him at all.  I think something like 30 minutes past with us just
sitting there him talking occaianly and me ignoring him and looking away,
finally he said time was up.

"I hope next week you will talk." he said getting up and putting his hand
out for me to shake, I looked at it and turned around and headed for the
door, I opened it but before I walked out I turned around and said just
two words.

"Fuck You" yeah those two words.  I walked out, shut the door and headed
out side.  My mom followed me. We headed home in quiteness.When we got
there I headed to my room and she headed to the kitchen.

I felt between my legs and felt my dick and where my balls used to be I
hate this. I can't jack off, I can't even really get hard, I can't let no
one see me like this, I'm scared, I don't know what to do.  I didn't
think about kids becasue I am gay, I have known I was gay sence I was 11,
but still one day I may want them. I just started crying.

TBC...

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