Date: Fri, 15 Feb 2002 11:54:37 -0500
From: T B <pyro1677@hotmail.com>
Subject: Where It Began 3

Dicclaimer:  If you are not 18 or the legal age in the state you live
             Or reading a story about a gay person is not what you want
             Then please leave now.

This is a story about a gay boy who has cancer and had to be casterated
To save his life and how he feels towards that and his parents.


                             Chapter 3


I woke up about midnight, I sleep the whole day away, but I didn't care,
I don't care about anything any more.  I thought about my balls and the
way people would laugh and make fun of me about it.  How I would never
have a boyfriend and sex is SO out of the question now.  I only thought
of one thing to do.  I went to the bathroom, opened up the medicine
cabnit and found a bottle of sleeping pills. I grabbed them went back to
my room with a glass of water and sat on my bed.  I thought once again
better to be dead then not to have my balls.  I opened the pill bottle and
pored them into my hand, I out them all in my mouth, and swollowed them
with the water.  I laid down and smiled I am finally going to stop
hurting. Now you know why I am here, here is what happened when I awoke.

************************

I woke up to a bright light in a white room.  My head hurt like hell.
'where am I' I thought
I turned my head to a sound to my left.  I saw a boy about 13 or 14
sitting on his bed watching me.  He smiled

"Hi your in Charter Psych hospital,  you came in last night. How do you
feel?" he asked.  I finally REALLY noticed him.  He had Dark red hair and
dark blue eyes, he wore braces I think about my height but he was sitting
down so I wasn't sure and I knew he probably weight about 120-130 lbs.  He
was HOT.  I just smiled.

"Fine, how did I get here?" I asked.  He got up (yep about my heigth) and
came to my bed and sat down.

"They brought you here last night, aroudn 4 in the morning.  I heard them
say you tried to kill your self, that true?" he asked.  I just looked up
at him and nodded, I was tired and scared.  He just smiled back. "Me too
that is why I am here.  You see i'm gay and I was having problems with
some kids at school and with my family and I couldn't take it any more.
What about you? Oh by the way my name is Bobby" he asked.  I just looked
at him and closed my eyes, I could feel tears falling down my face. Why
would he care about me I don't have any balls any more, and I don't look
good, and have nothing going for me.  I just cried he put his hand on my
shoulder and I flinched. "Hey man you don't have to cry it'll be ok I
promise." When he said that, that just made me cry harder. He stayed
there until I stopped crying.  I finally looked at him and told him.

"I had cancer in my balls and they cut them off and don't worry i'm gay
too." I said.  Figured I mine as well tell him he didn't have a chance
sence I can't get hard.  He just looked at me for a minute. Then took my
hand.  With tears in his eyes he said.

"I'm sorry man I know that must suck.  I wish I could help, but hey I
heard that you can stil get hard a little not as much but some, and don't
worry I won't make fun of you I promise." with that he leaned over and
gave me a kiss on the cheak.  I smiled and blushed and hugged him for a
few minutes.  He smiled back at me.  I finally released him and he went
back to his bed.  I finally also noticed the room we were in.

It was a two man room with a bathroom, a tv, and two beds.  We each had
curtains around our beds so if we wanted privacy.  A few minutes later
Dr.  Prescot, my parents, and Dr. Smith (the doc who cut off my balls)
came in. My parents smiled as well as the doctors.

"Well how are you doing today young man?" Dr. Prescot asked.  I just
glarred at him and turned my head towards the tv.  Dr. Smith went over
and turned it off. "No you are NOT ignoreing us this time you HAVE
to talk, so talk." he said.  I just looked at him and yelled.

"I HATE ALL OF YOU SO FUCK OFF." and turned away shutting my eyes.  I
heard the curtain being closed and the bed sheets being pulled down.  I
tried to stop them, and someone grabbed my hands.  I looked up and saw my
dad holding my hands and Dr. Smith pulling down the blanket.  I noticed
my mom was out side of the curtain and the curtain was drawn.

"He's only checking to make sure you are alright down there son." said my
dad still holding my hands.  I glared at him and shut my eyes.  I heard
him sigh, "I wish you would talk to us, we didn't hurt you and we are
sorry you are hurt.  Son we never wanted this but there was no other
choice and you trying to kill your self was stupid.  You know better you
should have come and told someone how you were feeling."  before I could
respond Dr. Smith pulled the blanket back up.

"He is fine another week and they can come out, barely will be a scar" he
said smiling at me, I just looked hatefully at him and his smile
disappeared.  Then I turened to my dad.

"You don't even care about me, so why now?  All of those times you and
mom went away and left me with someone, you always said oh well we
figured you wouldn't enjoy it, and I know about some of the places yall
went. The mountains, Disney World yeah I know about them so you wonder
why I am wondering why you care right now well there you fucking go.  I
hate you and her and the dumb ass here who cut off my balls and this idot
who wants to help me mentally you all want to help leave me the FUCK
ALONE." I screamed at them, half way though my mom came in and heard it
all.  She looked hurt and shocked as did my dad.  The docs looke worried
and upset.  About that time Bobby came up to me and out his arms around
my shoulder and let me cry on it. "I HATE YOU ALL" I hollared at them,
then turning and hugging Bobby.  Bobby just keep making shhhh noises at
me to calm me down.

"Son we are sorry, we didn't know we hurt you and yes we have been
selfish please forgive us?" my mom said I just shook my head in the
negative.

"I think you should concider it. As I have said before I don't know how
you feel but you need to stop being so mean to eveyone.  It is NO ONES
fault that this happend.  Cancer just happenes, now come on and talk to
us." Dr. Prescot said I turned and glared saying.

"FUCK OFF you don't know a DAMN THINK you think it would be better to
talk about my feelings well I don't like to and I HATE YOU I don't even
like you.  I don't trust you, if and I mean IF I did want to talk to
someone it would be someone like me NOT YOU." I said he looked curiouse
then asked

"What do you mean like you?"

"Some one gay that is who.  Yeah mom and dad your son is gay, a faggot,
a fudge packer and anything else you would like to say.  So sorry to
disappoint you.  What are you going to do now dad beat the shit
out of me.  Come on what, hell I don't have any balls, so why don't you.
I don't care anymore.  You are the one who has always said things about
gay people so what are you going to do now disown me PLEASE DO, I
HATE YOU." I said starting to scream and holler.  Bobby just held me
tighter agaist him. My dad and mom looked shocked.  The were speechless.
Finally Dr. Prescot said.

"I know a good pyscologiest who is gay, would that make you feel better?"
he asked.  I just turned towards him

"Yeah as long as you aren't there?" I said.  He looked hurt but nodded his
head then turned and walked out the door.  I did kinda feel sorry for him
and maybe I will apologize later.  Bobby keep holding me and rocking me.

My parents finally came to an understanding of there own.

"Son I am sorry for all of the things I said about gay people and I am so
sorry about hurting you that way.  No I am not going to disown you. You
are my son and I love you no matter what.  Me and your mother are sorry
for being so selfish, and doing things that have mad you unhappy and not
noticing.  Please son give us a chance, there is nothing we can do about
your testicals if there was a magic wand I could wave so you could
have them back with no cancerI would, but there isn't and I can't, but
son we do love you and we do need you, if you are gay so what.  I don't
care and neither does your mom." he said, he came up and touched my arm
and I flinched but he left it there. My mom came up and put her hand on
dads.

"His right we don't care if you are gay or not, we love you and we are so
sorry for being selfish and foolish, please son give us another chance."
She said crying.  I looked at Bobby and he nodded his head, I turned and
hugged my parents for the frist time in about 3 or 4 days.


Please send all comments to:  Pyro1677@hotmail.com
All flames will be ignored.