Date: Sun, 01 Apr 2001 16:39:56 -0500
From: Jim Bob <jim72401@swbell.net>
Subject: Why Me? Chapter 12

Author's note: I love reader feedback so if you wish to e-mail me, my
address is :

jim72401@swbell.net.

Dedication: To the loving memory of Marcus Aaron, sweet little sixteen.  I
still miss you even after 5 hard years. I love you, MAC.  Peace and love to
your Mom and Aunt Wilma.

This story is protected by copyright. You may copy this file for your own
personal enjoyment but any reproduction for gain or profit will be swiftly
dealt with in a court of law.


Why Me Thumbnail



Back in the Dean household, a sleepy Richard Dean blinked awake as he felt
an intrusion creeping up between the cheeks of his butt.  "Chad?" he
whispered.  "Chad, what are you doing?"  he whispered again. He got no
answer and he gently rolled over and found Chad soundly sleeping behind
him.  He lifted the covers up to expose his boyfriends engorged cock
pointing to the exact spot where his butt had previously been.  Richard was
turned on by the idea of his boyfriend making love to him but knew that
this would take them to another level faster than either of them needed to
get there so he just laid there and stared at the cherub beside him.  He
gently pushed Chad on his back and then took his fingertips and lightly
brushed the hairs on Chad's balls.  He rolled them around in his hand being
careful to not squeeze them and awaken Chad and then he brushed them with
his fingertips again.  Without warning Chad shot his load.  It surprised
Richard and he broke out laughing.  Chad sat bolt upright.

"What's so damn..." Chad said realizing mid sentence that semen was
running down his chest.

"Richard, what did you do to me?" Chad asked.

Richard could hardly contain himself.  Once his composure was back he
explained how he had witnessed a strange `nocturnal emission'.

"You jerked me off, now admit it." Chad said.

"No, honest.  You just blew all on your own.  I never touched your dick,
man." Richard said and he started chuckling to himself.  "But I did kinda
tickle your balls a little to help get it started."

Chad pulled Richard into him and the gooey sperm was smeared between them.

"How about a good morning kiss Lover Boy?" Chad asked.

"Eeeeh yew.  Not with your morning brown mouth." Richard joked.


Chapter 12


The days and weeks that followed this weekend of high's and low's were
fairly uneventful - life went on, relationships grew for Richard and Chad,
relationships flourished for Tony and Kurt and relationships were rocky for
Eric and Jon.  Time stood still at times.  Time flew by at other times and
in just two short weeks the boys would all be back in school.

Because of Eric's blindness, Jon was getting a multitude of opportunities
to get to know more and more about Eric.  He had become a fixture at Eric's
and Eric's family was indeed grateful for all the help that Jon provided
for their son and brother.  It explained away a lot of the things that Jon
would do for Eric that would be strange if it were two sighted boys.  For
instance, Jon had grown to love combing Eric's long blond hair.  And for
two teen aged boys to be together in the same private bathroom was easily
explained away.  Eric had become withdrawn and sullen though.  He would
experience severe mood swings.  One moment he would be garrulously happy
and the next angry or break out crying uncontrollably.

Jon was very patient and understanding, a trait that was unusual for
someone his age.  He had worked with Eric from morning till night on
maneuvering in the familiar surroundings of his home, how many steps here,
how many steps there, how to listen to a creak in a board or feel the edge
of a rug under his feet.  Jon had gone to the library in his spare time,
which he had very little of, and researched on vision impairment.  He had
gone on the computer and found out about Braille and seeing eye dogs.  It
was a passion for Jon and one very much worthwhile.

He and Eric sat alone in his room for hours on end, mostly in silence.  Jon
would just sit and watch Eric.  Eric couldn't tell that Jon was staring at
him, not like he was a freak though.  It was a gaze of love and adoration.
In these quiet times Jon was not only appreciating the eye candy but
thinking deeply about how he could help stabilize Eric's irrational
behavior, how he could help him cope with his blindness.  If only Eric
could have known of Jon's feelings and all that Jon was doing for him.

Eric, on the other hand, just took on a cloak of self pity.  He knew that
Jon cared deeply for him but how long could that last with him being less
than a normal person.  He kept all his feelings welled up inside himself.
Thoughts of ending it all crept to the corners of his mind.  More and more
he would dream of ways he could end this worthless life of his.  Hell, he
wasn't even man enough to be able to end this worthless existence - he
could envision ending it by an overdose but it would be his dumb luck,
since he was blind, to take and down a whole bottle of laxatives instead of
sleeping pills.  He had to chuckle to himself on this thought and wonder if
anyone had ever crapped themselves to death.  He was very proud of the fact
that he was beginning to navigate the house without assistance.

On this particular evening, he had been despondent all day.  He had asked
his mother early in the day if they could have chicken fried steak for
dinner and she said she would see what she could do.  As the day wore on he
became more angry and abusive to Jon.  That afternoon, after and outburst
that was about nothing at all, he called out to Jon and asked him to come
to his room.  Once they were there Eric pulled Jon into an embrace and told
him that he really appreciated all that he was doing for him but that it
was time for him to become more self reliant.  He asked Jon to go on home
and get some rest.  Jon was reluctant but Eric was insistent.

As Jon left, he knew that at some point in time that Eric was going to have
to walk on his own two feet, so to speak, and he was happy that he might
finally getting to this stage.  He felt that once they reached this point
that maybe they could start rebuilding their relationship.  He was too
tired of having to go home and just visualize Eric as he masturbated.  He
wanted the real thing.  His parents were surprised to see him home this
early and his Mom asked if there was anything special he would like for
dinner since it had been ages since he put his feet under her table.  Jon
asked for chicken fried steak.  If that was what Eric was having it would
be cool for them to have it also.  They had the steak dinner and then went
to the family room and watched TV.  It didn't take long for Jon to nod off
into dreamland.

Meanwhile, back at Eric's they were finishing dinner and Eric's parents
were readying themselves for their weekly Bingo outing.  They left and soon
Eric's brother Jason was asking if he thought he would be okay by himself
since Jason wanted to go see his girlfriend.  Eric assured Jason he would
be fine and that he would carry the portable phone with him and asked for
the speed call number for Jason's girl's home.  Everything was set and
Jason said that he would leave as son as he got the dishes in the
dishwasher.

Eric went to his room and waited for the sound of the dishwasher starting
and the closing of the door.  When he heard Jason leave the floodgates
opened and you could hear the heart wrenching cries throughout the house.
Eric rose from the bed and walked to the bathroom.  He closed the drain to
the tub and started to fill it.  He removed his clothes and sat on the rim
of the tub feeling the water level inch toward the top.  He could not stop
crying and was drowning in his own self pity as swiftly as the tub was
filling.  He settled himself in the tub and turned the water off.  In
between sobs he could be heard under the soft cries mumbling "Why me?  Dear
God, why me?".  It was then that he reached for his pants that were on the
floor by the tub and pulled the steak knife from the pocket and turned one
hand palm up.  As he placed the knife to his wrist he said "Good bye Jon.
I'll see you again `One Sweet Day'" and began humming the tune to the
Mariah Carey tune.

"Can we talk first, bro?" Jason asked choked up.

"What the fuck are you doing here?  I thought you left." Eric asked.

"Well, when I was clearing the table I noticed that there was a steak knife
missing from where you were sitting.  I was afraid that you had something
stupid planned." Jason answered.

"Stupid, huh?  Walk a mile in my shoes, bro, and you'll think stupid.  I'm
an millstone around everyones neck.  Can't you see that?" Eric asked.

"You want to kill yourself?  Really?  Why?  You're not a millstone Eric.
Looks like you lost more than just your eyesight if my hunch is right." Jon
said.

"Oh, yeah.  Everyone is dealing with the problem okay now.  But it'll get
old real quick." Eric said.

"Eric, let me tell you what my eye's are telling me.  You're the same
person today that you were before the OD, man. Right now, true, we're
having to make out with helping you cope with your blindness but that's
only temporary.  Shit, man, you were able to cop that knife, come upstairs
all by yourself, think through your plans for the evening and set them in
motion.  Hell, you're making lots of progress." Jason said.

"But ..." Eric started.

"I'm not through yet.  Also, my heart tell me that there is someone out
there that you love and you are afraid to admit that love.  On the other
hand, my eyes are telling me that that person really loves you more than
anything in the world.  Did you know that?" Jason said.

Eric blushed and replied "Just who could care for a cripple like me?".  Did
his brother know his secret?  Or was there someone else beside Jon out
there?

"You know, don't you?" Eric asked.

"Yeah, Eric. I know.  I've known for some time." Jason replied.

"And you don't hate me?" Eric asked.

"Why should I hate you?  You've done nothing to make me hate you.  Man, the
only thing different is that now I can stick my foot out and trip you
without you being able to catch me and whip my ass." Jason chuckled.

Eric lightened up some and then thought about the statement Jason had made
about someone loving him.  "You were talking about Jon when you said that
someone loved me, weren't you?"  Eric asked.

"Let your heart answer that one, Eric.  I see it in his eyes every day when
he is with you.  Man, if Mandy was as crazy about me as Jon is with you,
I'd be coming home with stinky finger and a smile on my face every night."
Jason answered.

"Nah, I think he just feels sorry for me is all that is." Eric said.

"Bullshit, man.  Pure Bullshit.  Jon loves you.  You love him just as much.
Your feeling that he pities you instead of loving you as much as you love
him is your stumbling block, not the loss of your eyesight. " Jason stated.

"You really think so little bro?" Eric asked.

"Hey man, the love maestro knows for sure.  You just stay there, run a
little more hot water in there and leave the rest up to me." Jason said.

Eric heard the familiar tone of the portable phone.

"Hello, is Jon there?" Jason asked into the receiver.

"Hey man.  Jason here.  Sorry to wake you up but I've got to leave for a
while.  Could you come over and stay with Eric till my folks get home?"
Jason asked.

"Great.  Well, he's in the tub right now." Jason said.

"Oh, I think he'll be just fine there." Eric said and hung up the phone.

"When did you get so smart lil bro?" Eric asked.

"Oh, I've always been the smartest kid in the family.  I was comfortable
with my intelligence and just didn't want you to feel inferior." Jason
chuckled.

Eric stood up and reached for the towel bar and noticing that it was empty
asked "Throw me a towel please.".

Jason stood there dumbfounded and asked "What the fuck?  How'd you know
there weren't any towels on the bar?" .

It was then that Eric realized that even though hazy, he was beginning to
see outlines in the well lighted room.  Jason didn't even think twice about
his brothers nakedness or that he was dripping wet and went and pulled him
into a tight embrace and both guys broke out in tears of joy.

"Hey, we gotta cut this out.  Throw me the towel I asked for.  Now that I
can see a little I might still be able to chase you down and whip your
ass." Eric said.

Jason threw the towel at Eric and he caught it and dried himself off
hurriedly.  He reached down and picked up his dirty clothes from the floor
and dumped them in the hamper, walked back toward his darkened room and
tripped over the speaker.  Jason was in the his room and heard the thud and
ran in and turned on the light.

"What happened?" Jason asked.

"Just a little case of the dumbass.  I'll be fine.  Just a little scratch
is all.  Oh, don't tell Jon or Mom and Dad anything about this, or about me
being able to see a little, okay?" Eric asked.

"Our little secret, Bro." Jason replied.

Eric cautiously got up and went to his drawer and pulled out a pair of
clean underwear, put them on and laid on his bed.  He did so hope that his
brother was right and that Jon did love him as much as he loved Jon.  He
didn't know if he could stand it if that was not the case.  His own
feelings had been so clouded in self pity that he wasn't sure.

The doorbell rang and Eric heard Jason open the door, greet Jon and tell
him that Eric was in his room and that he had to go get changed before he
went out.  Jon walked to Jon's room and entered.

"Hey man.  How's things?" Jon asked.

"Just fine, buddy." Eric answered.

Jon walked to the foot of Eric's bed and noticed the fresh cut on Eric's
shin.

"Just tripped on the speaker wire.  No big deal." Eric said.

"Oh, how'd the speaker make...WAIT!  HOW'D YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS LOOKING
AT?"  Jon asked as he knelt beside the bed.

Eric rose up on one elbow and put his hand behind Jon's head and pulled his
head in for their first kiss in some time.  They began an evening of
catching up right then and there.

A light tapping on the doorjamb broke their double lip lock.  Jon turned 10
shades of red at being caught.

"Don't be embarrassed, bud.  Jason knows and it's no prob." Eric said.

"Yeah, Jon.  You guys may want to put the chain up on the front door as I
leave in case Mom and Dad get home early.  You know, a little early
warning?" Jason said.

Jon followed Jason downstairs.  "Thanks for being there for my brother,
man." Jason said as he leaned over and gave Jon a light peck on the cheek
as he hugged him.  "Just don't hurt him.  He's been through a lot lately."
Jason said.

"I'd never do that to him.  That's a promise I intend to keep." Jon
replied.

Jon put the safety chain on the door and walked back upstairs.  He crawled
in the bed with Eric and snuggled up close.  Eric told him of the events
that had happened that evening.  At times Jon wept uncontrollably when Eric
told him of his plans of committing suicide.  Eric was made to promise to
never entertain any ideas like that ever again.  Unbridled passion was the
order of the evening until the time the `rents returned for the evening.

Meanwhile, several blocks away at the Dean house Richard is on the phone
chatting with none other than Chad.  True to the agreement they made with
each other they are taking it easy and not letting things get out of hand,
no pun intended.  Richard asked Chad if he could get a ride out to the shop
where Richard worked.  He said he could and if not, it wasn't to far to
ride his bike.  The next morning Richard got up, ate with his parents and
then went to work in his Mom's car.  Mid morning Chad showed up.  Richard
had already told Mr. Jennings that he was coming out and it was never a
problem for friends to drop in the shop as they were kinda laid back
anyway.

"Hey Buddy." Richard chimed as Chad walked in the door.

"What's on your mind that you wanted me to come out here." Chad asked.

"Oh, not much.  There's a couple more guys meeting us here in a minute."
Richard said.

"Who's coming out?" Chad asked curiously.

"Just wait and see.  Go back and tell Mr. Jenkins `hi'.  He's out in the
kitchen.  I need to get these modules back in the chassis and then put the
chassis back in the case." Richard said.

Chad left the room and he heard the two guys chatting out in the kitchen as
he was dong the installs when the buzzer announced the arrival of Sarge
O'Brian and Officer McLaughlin.  They were out of uniform since their duty
shift was the evenings.  Chad and Mr. Jenkins had heard the buzzer and
walked in the shop.

`Hey boys, welcome.  Long time no see. " Mr. Jenkins said.

"Bob, it's always good to see you.  Chad, how are you doing?" Mac said.

"Fine." Chad replied.

"Let's go in the kitchen and have some coffee while we talk." Mr. Jenkins
said.

The guys strolled into the kitchen and found a seat while Bob Jenkins
poured.

"Richard, since you called, what is the purpose of our visit?" Sarge asked.

Chad looked confused.  Why had Richard called the cops to meet them this
morning?

"Well, I know I've already thanked you for helping me get back on track but
there's so many others that don't get the opportunity I did." Richard said.

"Yeah, I'm sure that there are a lot of young people out there that are
confused, mixed up and freaking out not knowing what to do or who they can
turn to." Sarge replied.

"That got me to thinking and I was wondering if there was some way we could
set up a hot line so that there would at least be someone they could talk
to.  I figured you guys might be able to help me out in setting something
up.  I figure we would need a place to set up shop and was hoping to talk
Mr. Jenkins into letting us use that room off the storage room since it has
an outside entrance." Richard said.

"No problem with the room, Richard." Mr. Jenkins said.  "No charge for the
rent either.  And you can have use of my phone line also, no charge."

"Okay, Richard, I don't know if you realize what a major undertaking this
is.  It's not just going to be a place to work out of and a phone line.
You've got to have people to operate it.  I don't know what hours you plan
to have the operation open but you can't take the entire thing on yourself.
And the biggest thing is to have the people trained to deal with
situations.  What would you do if some kid called you up and told you he
was about to commit suicide and that he just wanted to have you tell his
parents that he loves them after he is dead?" Sarge asked.

"I never thought about that.  But I now see that it's an integral part of
the operation.  And I'd be the first in line to sign up for training."
Richard said.

"What if someone called in because they were being picked on and we told
them to inform the school authorities and someone else got in trouble and
found out the person they were picking on got their advice from us and then
prank called in and recognized our voice and beat us to a pulp for getting
them in trouble?" Chad asked running out of breath.

"No problem with that one.  There's scramblers out there that can mix your
voice up and even your own mother won't recognize your voice." Mac said.

"Look, if you guys are serious about this then I suggest that the initial
hours of operation be set up as 7PM Friday evening till 7PM Sunday evening.
Now I think you will need at least 2 people per shift and not work more
than 4 hours per shift so how many people will that be?" Sarge said.

"By my estimation that would take 24 people and that would be just working
1 shift each weekend.  Two shifts wouldn't hurt anyone so we could get by
with twelve.  I know 6 that would be willing right now." Richard said.

"On top of that they would have to be willing to go through a course
similar to what our emergency dispatchers go through and pass an exam PLUS
have the approval of their parents if they are not yet 18." Sarge said.

"Okay, now if I can come up with the people then you are willing to help us
out?" Richard asked.

"I'll do anything I can, and I know Mac and Bob will also.  In the meantime
I will be searching for some Block Grant Funds to pay for the publicity,
phone lines, since one will not be enough to operate on and the training."
Sarge said.

The guys all shook hands and Sarge and Mac left.  Bob excused himself to
the back repair shop to work on a VCR.

"Hey Chad.  Wanna see the room we're gonna use for this?" Richard asked
with a wink in his eye.

"Sure.  Lead on boss." Chad replied winking back.

They went in the remote side room and Richard gathered Chad in his arms and
kissed him.  They held this embrace for some time, lips parting and tongues
dueling, hands roaming over their friends backsides and a noticeable bulge
in both pair of jeans.  Nothing but silence from the two guys but their
eyes spoke volumes.  Their reverie was interrupted by Bob calling from the
shop and they walked back in smoothing their clothes as they went.

"Richard, I want you to know that I am very proud of your plan.  I feel
confident that with Mac and Sarge helping out that it will come to pass
also.  And since I live in the back part, if I am ever needed I want you or
any of the others to come get me, no matter what time of day or night." Bob
said.

"Thanks, Mr. Jenkins.  Your confidence in me means a lot." Richard said.


That's all for now folks.  Hope you enjoyed it.

Comments are welcome, good or bad.  Reply to: jim72401@swbell.net