Date: Wed, 10 Mar 2004 16:26:56 -0800 (PST)
From: Jeff B <snshadow@yahoo.com>
Subject: Why oh Why Chapter 5

Disclaimer: This story is intended for people of age
18 (or 21 depending on where you live.) This story is
about love between two gay male teenagers if this isnt
your cup of tea dont read it :)

Legal stuff: If you want to copy this story and/or put
it on your page please email me first, because if i
find it someplace without my permission, I'll... I'll
Well I'll think of something! :-)


        *    *    *   *

	Josh murmured to himself as he remembered his first
night alone with Jeremy. How wonderful it felt to hold
and be held.  They didn't do anything sexual, but what
they did do was almost as addictive.  Josh had woken
up in the middle of the night as Jeremy shifted in his
sleep and simply watched him, the gentle rise and fall
of his chest, the rhythm of his breathing.  The
feeling he had felt was unimaginable, time seemed to
slow in that moment and for the first time he knew
what total peace felt like.  He just wished he could
have remained in that moment forever.

	Fate however had other ideas.  He awoke from his
slumber in the hard plastic chair.  For a moment he
was unsure to his environment, as he continued to
focus it all came back to him. The stillness in the
night. The flashing of the emergency vehicles.  The
utter panic he felt on what had been a cool fall
evening.  Now he remembered why he was here and began
to tear up again.  Before he had the chance to break
down again, a set of double doors opened and out came
is mother dressed in scrubs.  Josh just stared at her
with a mix of hope and pain.  She sat next to her son
and rubbed his shoulders.

	"Josh..." She began as he closed his eyes. "Jeremy is
still in surgery... And Miranda... didn't make it."

	His shoulders started to shake as he held back the
tears that ached against his eyes. He could only feel
a fraction of the pain that Jeremy had gone though and
would go through when he was he learned the news on
his mom.

	"What happened..?" He looked up at her, his
expressions pleading to know the truth of what had
happened tonight.  His mom let our a sigh of guilt and
frustration, she really did want to tell him but being
in her position she couldn't readily give out that
type of information, even if it was her own son
asking.

	She thought for a moment and just shook her head; he
was after all going to find out one way or another.

	"From what your father told me Josh... Someone broke
into Jeremy's house and..."  She wiped a tear from her
eye as the moment of truth finally came to grips with
her senses as well. "He was shot Josh.  They both
where."

	Josh started to get light headed, and suddenly
started to feel sick. Mandy pulled him close and held
him as best she could.

	"How... How is he? I mean is he..." His voice started
to crack as once again the tears traced down his face

	"No. No no Josh he isn't gone.  He's holding on just
barely. He's going to be okay."

	"How can you be sure!?" Josh jumped to his feet so
fast Mandy almost jumped herself.

	"Oh Josh, I'm sorry."  She rose to get up as Daren
entered the waiting area and stopped, looking at Josh
as he paced back and forth.  With a silent nod Mandy
got up.

	"Well..." He began, "We didn't find the weapon in the
house so that means whoever did this still has it."

	"Have you got any ideas as to who did this?"

	"Only one but we aren't sure were to look to find
him. How is Josh taking this?"

	"See for yourself."

	She motioned to where she had been just moments
before, where Josh had been pacing.

	"Wait a minute... Where did he go?"

              Josh was gone


                 *    *    *   *

	"Jeremy I'm home."  Miranda said as she placed her
purse and keys, on the dining room table.  The house
seemed a little quiet without the TV, stereo or usual
chatter she was usually welcomed with. "Jeremy?"  She
checked the living room, which was now packed up in
boxes that were neatly stacked against the wall then
started up the stairs.  Other boxes littered the
landing, and she softly knocked on the door to her
son's room.

	"Jeremy, are you in here sweety?"  She found him.  He
was sitting on his bed with a box at his feet.  He
looked up at her with a faint smile.

	"Hi mom."

	"You alright sweety?"  She looked down into the box
she was packing then sat down on the bed next to him.

	"I guess..."

	"What's wrong baby?"

	"Mom... Why do we have to move?"

	That really wasn't a question she wanted to answer,
in her eyes her son still had innocent eyes which had
been abused enough by the horrors her marriage to his
father had put them through.  She told him that they
were moving because of a new job but she knew that
excuse didn't work with him.

	"I'm sorry Jeremy..."

	"Why can't he just leave us alone?" He let out a sigh
and hugged his mother.

	"I don't know sweety."

	"I want to stay here"

	"We can't. Look I know you do but it has been getting
worse..." She didn't want to tell him exactly how worse
it had gotten but quite frankly she was terrified of
the whole situation now, but she didn't relay that
feeling to her son.  She just kept a solemn face and
hugged him again. "It's just not safe here.  I am
going to wait though.  I know how important this week
was to you.  So instead of being out by Friday I guess
we can stay for a little longer since the job in
California doesn't start for another month."

	He looked up at her and smiled then closed his eyes
as he hugged her tight. "I just wish we didn't need to
go..."

	"I know Jeremy, believe me I know. I wish we didn't
either..."


	*    *    *   *

	Josh roamed the halls before the first bell with no
destination in particular.  People waved and said
hello, but he just didn't care.  Jeremy told him that
his mom agreed to wait an extra week and a half, which
did make him happy but at the same time only made him
hurt worse.  Delaying the inevitable. He wasn't really
sure how he wanted to say good bye, or if he even
wanted to say good bye.  The last few days had been a
remarkable experience.  He had been able to express
how he felt and have that expression returned only to
learn that it was going to be taken away from him.

	He looked up as he found himself outside in the court
yard.  Teenagers where coming and going; each trying
to sneak a chat or two before the school day began.
Josh saw Tyler walking in the distance.  The last
couple of days hadn't really been good for their
friendship.  He had the distinct impression that Tyler
was ignoring him since he stopped showing up for lunch
and generally made himself scarce during the school
day.

	Josh approached him, he hadn't meant to snap at Tyler
the way he did a couple of days ago for merely caring
about his feelings.

	"Tyler..." He said as he approached his friend.

	"Hmm?" He turned around and rolled his eyes. "What
the hell do you want Josh?"

	"Look I just wanted to apologize for the way I
snapped at you the other day. I didn't mean to hurt
your feelings." Josh said as he stood in front of
Tyler.

	"Good for you, now fuck off." Tyler turned away and
started walking off.

	"Come on now Ty. Don't be like this..."

	"Don't be like what!? Listen Josh I tried to be your
friend, I tried to listen, to be there when you needed
a friend but no you practically slapped me in the face
for it.  So go off to Ben, Jeremy, Cat whoever and
just leave me the hell alone."

	Tyler continued to stalk off towards the school, Josh
continued to follow him.  Tyler knew he was being
followed and allowed Josh to get as close as four feet
before spinning around again.

	"What do you want? Do you want to hurt me again?
Perhaps physically this time?" Tyler stared at Josh.
If looks could kill he would have been dead long ago.

	"I just wanted too..." Josh wasn't able to finish his
sentence because Tyler's fist made contact with his
jaw.  He stumbled back a few feet in a state of shock
that Tyler actually had hit him.

	"Oh man, Josh I didn't mean to..."

	He didn't want to hear it.  He just wanted to get
away. "Fine Tyler. Have it your way." Josh pushed
passed Tyler, and headed back into the school just as
the first bell rang.

	"Man this just isn't my week."


             *    *    *   *

	During first period Jeremy did show up after missing
the first half of the class.  It was Grissom's history
class and Mr. Grissom did have an idea that Jeremy was
in the process of packing up, for a move so didn't do
anything but acknowledge he was there.

	Josh just sat silently, and kept to himself until the
end of class.  When the bell rang He just gathered up
his gear and started walking out the door.

	"Josh! Wait up man."  Jeremy hurried to catch up;
Josh paused to allow him to catch up.

	"Dude is something wrong?"

	`Yeah my heart's breaking, Tyler hit me and this
whole situation just totally sucks.'

	"Everything's fine." He lied.

	Jeremy didn't believe that as they started walking
away.

	"You sure...?"

	He didn't need a reply, at that same time Tyler
rounded a corner and saw both of them, then just
turned around and walk away.

	"And what's up with him? Yeesh everyone is in a
crabby mood today."

	"Heh, you have no idea." Josh remained silent for a
moment as Jeremy grew quiet then sighed as he saw how
down he was starting to get.

	"It'll be alright Jeremy; this whole week is just
messed up."

	"So I noticed. But don't forget you're not the only
one having a really bad time here."

	Josh put a hand on Jeremy's back and guided him to a
more secluded part of the hallway.

	"I'm sorry, what you're going through is worse then
all of our problems put together, I'm just frustrated
that all of this is happening."

	Jeremy just nodded with an understanding; he knew
what Josh was feeling because he was feeling it as
well.

	"But all we can really do is enjoy ourselves while we
can and get you ready for tomorrow night."  Josh put a
hand on Jeremy's shoulder, which made him smile.

	"Erm... Do you think you could sleep over again?"
Jeremy asked.

	"Yeah.  Both mom and dad will be working late again
tonight."

	"Cool, I already asked mom and she said it would be
alright and everything..."

	They both chatted for a few more moments before
giving a brief hug and continuing on to second period.


	Tyler peered around the corner to see if they had
left yet and caught the embrace which made him feel
even worse.  He felt as if there were something there
between those two that had yet to be told, which
increased his negative feelings.

	He kept reminding himself that Jeremy was going to be
going away soon, and then maybe he and Josh could have
a very long talk to see if what he had been picking up
was true.  As the two boys walked off together Tyler
started to feel pangs of jealousy that he hadn't felt
before that angered him and made him feel physically
ill.

	`Man I can't handle much for of this...'  He started
walking off alone to his next class silently with his
thoughts before someone stopped him dead in his
tracks.

	"What the hell is up with you?" Cathleen asked as she
pinned him up against the wall.

	"What are you talking about?" He asked with
annoyance.

	"I saw that punch this morning Tyler, and for
whatever reason if you do it again I'll have to kick
your ass myself."

	"Whatever."

	"Listen bud you know you don't want to tango with me
so I suggest you rethink your attitude."

	Tyler just remained there not moving as Cathleen
continued to tell him off.  He started getting weak in
the knees considering this was the first time, besides
Josh a close friend had said anything negative to him.

	Cat picked up on this immediately and started looking
him over, at first he looked angry and defiant and
with each passing moment she had him there his
demeanor changed.

	"Tyler what's going on with you?"

	"I... I... can't..."

	"Why not?" She asked with force.

	"Because... Look Cathleen I promise I won't touch Josh...
I wont even go near him just please let me go."

	"Not until you tell me what the hell is going on
between you too."

	He wasn't prepared for this, for days he had been
building up a barrier, shutting everyone else out and
now he wasn't sure what to do or say.  He tried to
hold back the tears that came out of no where as
Cathleen refused to budge.

	"Tyler..."

	"Please I promise, just let me go!"

	She moved to hug him but instead he bolted.

	"Tyler! Where are you going?!"

	Cathleen would have followed him, but she lost track
of him as he delved deeper into the continuing
traffic.

	"What the hell is going on with everyone today?" She
muttered to herself as she stalked off in search for
Ben. One thing she vowed to do was get down to the
bottom of this before it started to get out of hand.

	*    *    *   *

	She never did find Ben.  The rest of the day had gone
by without ever laying eyes on him.  The same went
with Tyler.  Cathleen had the feeling that wherever
they were, they were at least together.  So now she
waited at the main exit waiting for Josh to come out,
she didn't have to wait for long.

	Josh and Jeremy headed out together talking amongst
themselves. Cathleen just stood against the wall
watching them go for a moment, just thinking.  Then a
small realization hit her, she wasn't sure what it was
but the body language in those two had changed.  `They
are touching but aren't touching...' She slowly followed
behind keeping out of range as they headed off school
grounds.  Neither of them lived far from school so it
was a relatively short walk.

	She expected both of them to continue on to one of
the houses together; however once they reached their
street they both just separated and headed for
separate houses. As soon as she confirmed two door
slams she stalked up to Josh's door and knocked rather
hard.  The door quickly opened.

	"Who the... Cathleen are you alright?" Josh said as he
looked her over.

	"Inside."  She replied.  "Now."

	Silently Josh obeyed and slowly backed up until they
were both in the house, and Cathleen closed the door.
She didn't take his eyes off him; they were locked to
his as if she were looking for some dark secret that
only his eyes could betray.

	"Josh, what is going on with you and Tyler?" She
finally asked, breaking the silence.

	"Uh nothing, we had a fight a couple of days ago I
tried to apologize but he hit me."

	Cathleen just nodded not taking her eyes off his, and
she wasn't blinking either.  For a moment Josh was
afraid, her facial features were devoid of emotion and
her tone of voice wasn't making him feel good either.

	"Cath..."

	She cut him off, "Alright then what's going on
between you and Jeremy?"

	"We're just ... friends."

	`Just friends, Joshy my boy you just gave yourself
away.'

	"I think there is something more than that Josh..." She
really wasn't sure what she was saying, she was just
trying to bait him into telling something, anything
that could shed some light on the subject.

	"We...I...I...uh..." Josh started to back up until he
backed into the wall.  Cathleen kept her stance firm
keeping her eyes on his, why wasn't she blinking? She
just kept staring deep down into his soul, he tried to
think of something, anything to say, just to get her
to stop but she was persistent.

	Finally he said something and her eyes went wide. `Oh
God...' Josh thought to himself, he had meant to say
something other than the truth and instead that's what
he said.  The truth.

	Cathleen backed off, and blinked.  Not once but
several times, the silence continued.  She was the one
that broke the silence.

	"Are you sure..?"

	Josh just meekly nodded preparing himself for the
worst.

	"Does he know?"

	Josh didn't say anything, he only nodded again.

	Cathleen remained silent for a moment as if she were
putting things together in her head before she spoke
again.  "Man I didn't expect that.  I mean. Well. Damn
Josh."

	Josh heaved a sigh and left his place against the
wall and sauntered over to the couch and sat down in a
slouch.  Cathleen studied him for a moment in silence
before sitting next to him.

	"Look Josh, Don't go thinking the wrong things now
alright.  It's just a bit of a shock, well not shock
more like surprise.  The good kind of surprise you
know?"

	That at least made him feel better, she gave him
encouragement by wrapping an arm around her shoulder
and squeezing gently.

	"It's alright Josh, really.  I just never figured you
as the type, although now it sort of makes sense, with
the way you can dance and all.  I should have figured
that out myself. I mean straight guys like Ben and
Tyler can't dance at all. Remember the lamp?"

	Josh chuckled at the though, Tyler had back flipped
right into an end table, sending the lamp crashing to
the floor.  As he thought about Tyler his mood changed
slightly, he still wanted to know what the hell was
going on with that front and why Tyler just suddenly
changed on him like that.  I mean sure they hadn't
been close as they used to be.  In fact before this
year they had been inseparable, about as close as
friends could get.  Something had changed over the
summer though, Tyler had gone away for a while and
when he came back something inside had changed
although Josh couldn't put his finger on it.  So they
hung out less, talked less even though they were still
friends, they just weren't the same as they used to
be.

	Then Jeremy came onto the scene and became his new
best friend.  Before Jeremy had told him how he felt,
his relationship with Josh seemed to match what he and
Tyler had. Perhaps Tyler had picked up on that too and
maybe, just maybe that's why Tyler had been so angered
and why he was acting the way he was.

	Josh talked about it with Cathleen for a while and
she to confirm what he had been thinking.  Maybe Tyler
was just jealous and felt that he had lost his friend,
or been replaced.  That idea really didn't sit with
him to well and he started to feel bad.  Now he knew
what ever had been going on between them would need to
end especially with Jeremy about to make his quick
exit on his life.

	They both continued to talk for a while longer until
Josh heard a knock on his door; they had been talking
for almost 3 hours.  Man time flies when you don't pay
attention.

	Josh made the move to open the door, Cathleen just
stayed on the couch.

	"Hey." Jeremy said as Josh opened the door.  He let
out a small smile and let the younger boy in.

	"Well, well speaking of the devil." Cathleen said
with a mischievous grin.

	"Eh?" Jeremy asked as he flopped on the couch.

	"Yeah, Josh and I have been having a nice little
chat."

	"About?"

	"Jeremy... She knows."

	"..."

	Cathleen just shook her head and chuckled. "Aw come
on Jeremy, its alright I don't plan on saying anything
to out you two.  Besides I think it's cute anyway."

	Jeremy just blushed and gave a mild grin.

	"So have you two played ride the pony yet?" Cathleen
asked nonchalantly

	Josh choked, Jeremy cringed and they both just stared
at her.

	"I take that as a no. Well you boys better get
cracking, not that many more shopping days till
Christmas."

	That made both the boys blush.

	"Alright alright, enough now." Josh said as he
wrapped an arm around Jeremy's shoulder. "You know
since the three of us are together maybe we should
think about practicing a little.  I mean tomorrow *is*
the big night."

	"First time for everything, usually I'm the one that
has to badger you into it." Cathleen just giggled and
refrained from saying anything further.


	*    *    *   *

	Much later that night after practice and Cathleen's
departure, Josh found himself alone with Jeremy in
Jeremy's bedroom.  This would probably be one of the
final chances they'd get to be alone together in the
coming days.  Together they lay clothed on Jeremy's
bed with limbs wrapped around each other.

	Both were tired after the workout that Cathleen had
given them and they ached a little in the normal
places, but as they laid there they began to ache in
*other* places.

	"Josh..."

	"Yes?" He said as he raised his head up gently.

	"What Cathleen said earlier...? Do you want to...?"

	Josh's heart leapt as he let out a shiver of
nervousness.

	"Only if you do..."

	Josh just gave a wry smile as he cuddled Jeremy
closer.

	*    *    *   *

	The peace and tranquility continued to fill the night
as the two indulged themselves with each other. Both
wanted this moment to last forever, but as the old
saying goes. `All Good Things..." Little did anyone know
how true that statement actually was.....?

TO BE CONTINUED:

Sorry for the delay in there, if you've kept up this
far all I can say is thank you :)
If you wish to send comments or complains please do:
snshadow@yahoo.com - Chapter 6 is in the works and I
promise you wont have to wait long.