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* A Story Outline for Jake *
* (part 1) *
* (Correspondence between Luke and myself) *
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| Copyright 2005 by Vince Water March 18, 2006 |
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Jake Marques is introduced as a new character in part 14 of my
'New to Teaching Love' series. He's a sixteen year old boy of
mixed heritage: half Blackfoot and Mexican. And he is gay. For
eleven years, Jake has boarded at the Rosebud Indian Mission
School in South Dakota when his mother left him in their care
at the age of five. Judy never saw her son again. Why is that?
What series of events separated Winna from her kid sister in
Montana that led to Judy running off with a Mexican migrant
worker back to his country where their son Jake was born?
Where is the boy's father now? How did his mother die? These
questions and more will be answered in these parts. Not all
the information contained herein will be revealed in the NtTL
series but serves as a background for Jake that I needed
before writing him into the story. He is not my creation.
One of the readers to my 'New to Love' series wrote me an
email. Like other readers, I was given praise for my efforts
at story writing but he also provided with me with much needed
critique and posed questions. That began our correspondence.
His name is Luke. You may have seen some of his partner's nice
sketches that were drawn of Mike, Jesse, Running Water, Jake,
and grandfather. P.D. Kelly is also drawing illustrations to
my 7th printing of the "Bare Butt Brave" novel. You can view
these jpeg scanned drawings yourself on my Yahoo! Group:
www.groups.yahoo.com/group/NtTLStoriesAndSketches
Back to my growing frienship with Luke. He's been helping me
with editing stories and offering comments and suggestions for
improvement before I posted them with the Nifty Archive. I
have come to depend on his support!
On May 1st, 2003 Luke presented me with an outline for a
character he'd like me to introduce into the series - Jake.
It's taken me two years to do so. (Sorry for the wait, Luke!)
What follows in this text is our exchange of correspondence
concerning the background for this character. You'll see how
the original outline developed between us to what you'll read
in part 14 'New to Teaching Love' and what is yet to unfold.
The following is our correspondence pertaining to Jake in
developing his story outline. You'll note how parts of his
background changed, the reason why he left school for instance
turns out differently as Luke and I worked it out. Please keep
in mind that nothing is 'written in stone' for this character
until you read about it in a 'New to Teaching Love' story part.
This outline is very revealing! Do not read further if you'd
rather learn about Jake in the 'New to Teaching Love' series
when the accounts of his background is gradually revealed to
Mike, Jesse and Winna.
Please note that at the time of my correspondence with Luke,
I'd been using the feminine spelling of 'Jessie' for Mike's
Indian lover. I'm correcting that in the story texts as of
March 2006 as well as catching other spelling errors, grammar
and making clarifications as needed. Those story texts will
bear the 'Corrected 3/06' identifier below the title to denote
these changes. No major rewrite. It's my hope that when I've
corrected the twenty parts to 'New to Love' and the eighteen
parts to 'New to Teaching Love', I'll be motivated to finish
parts 19 and 20 to complete the second series. Then it's on to
writing the 3rd series: 'New to Love Honeymoon'.
The five 'Jake Outline' texts will remain true to my correspondence
with Luke by retaining 'Jessie' as the spelling for Mike's lover.
I'll be changing it to 'Jesse' in the story texts and posting
with the Nifty Archive. www.Nifty.Org/
5/1/2003 Luke wrote:
What I want to get down now while it's fresh in my mind are
some thoughts about the teenager whom Mike, Jessie and Winna
take in. Because I read the two chapters you sent just before
I went to sleep last night, I realize when I got up this
morning that I had been dreaming about all this pretty
continuously until I woke up. I am aware of waking up several
times during the night having just come out of a dream about
Mike and Jessie and what's going on with them. I'd turn over
and go right back into another dream. So all this, spurred on
by my correspondence with you, has really gotten to me!
So let me tell you what I have been thinking about the
Indian teenager whom, in my mind, I have been calling Jake.
Jake does not have an Indian name yet when he arrives at
Winna's home but the story will take him to the point where he
will be given one - maybe by the old shaman or maybe by
"Shaman in training" Jessie.
Jake's story.
Jake's mother, Judy, is Winna's youngest sister. She was
born about seven years after her nearest sibling and,
effectively, grew up as an only child with older parents. She
also grew up "wild". She also developed physically early and
by the time she was fourteen looked to be a fully developed
woman although she was barely a teenager in terms of her
emotional development. She didn't feel close to her Indian
relatives at all and at about sixteen started hanging out one
summer with some Mexican migrant workers who were working near
where she lived. One of them, Miguel, paid her a lot of
attention. Eventually this dispirited teenage Indian girl and
this lonely, horny eighteen year old Mexican boy began to feel
a strong sexual attraction which resulted in a passionate love
making one afternoon just before Miguel was due to leave.
They quickly hatched a plan for Judy to go with him and she
took off with what she could stuff in a gym bag without
telling her parents or any of her family. When the family
realized that Judy was gone, they suspected that she had run
away and, for reasons not completely clear, did not do
anything to try to find her.
Judy and Miguel go back to Mexico and Miguel takes Judy to
live with his mother and siblings who live at home. He
continues to have sex with her but it is clear to Judy that he
doesn't love her. To her surprise and horror, she is pregnant.
Miguel's mother takes over and, except for sleeping with Miguel
(they never marry), she is treated as another daughter in
Miguel's home. Jake is born - a healthy boy who is part
Mexican and part Indian. He is raised for his first two years
in Miguel's family home along with the other children whose
fathers or mothers are Miguel's relatives.
Miguel, alas, has grown tired of Judy. She still lives in
his family's home and takes care of little Jake, but is
treated like a servant (sort of a Cinderella type) by Miguel's
family. Although Miguel's mother treats Judy fairly, she does
not love her and Judy feels this keenly.
Around the time that Jake is three, Judy has the chance to
go back to the U.S. with some of the family members who are
going to New Mexico for a family wedding. Because she has U.S.
identification papers (I'm not sure what she would have), it
is no problem for her and Jake to cross the border as U.S.
citizens.
When she gets to Alamogordo, NM, she re-experiences all the
things about living in the U.S. that she had forgotten about
and realizes that she missed. She determines that she needs to
pull away from Miguel's family so in the middle of the night,
she packs up herself and Jake, goes to the bus station, and
buys a ticket for Los Angeles. She has managed to save some
money by part time jobs she had while living in Mexico - all
of which she brought with her.
Judy vaguely remembers one of her own family members
talking about an aunt or uncle who had moved to LA and she
naively thinks that she will appear on their doorstep and be
taken in. When she and Jake arrive, she looks in a phone book
at the Greyhound station and to her relief, finds them. But to
her horror they act like they don't know her and refuse to
even see her.
She eventually ends up in a room in somebody's house and
immediately goes out to get a job. Little Jake is left in the
care of a crack head woman who owns the house. This woman is
a free spirit who, when she's on crack, takes off all her
clothes and has sex with anybody who's there. Jake, at three
years of age, sees all this going on. Sometimes he even
wanders up to the two or three or more people who are having
sex to look at them, touch them, and watch penises going into
vaginas, butt holes, mouths. Sometimes they will take his
clothes off and rub his penis and butt while they're having
sex with each other. So Jake grows up from this period knowing
almost all there is to know about the mechanics of adult sex.
Judy knows a little about what goes on when she's not there
but doesn't feel that she can do anything about it now she
just ignores it.
After about a year, Judy has found that she can make much
more money turning tricks and that's what she does. She moves
herself and Jake into an apartment of their own and that's
where she brings her tricks. Jake, no longer a stranger to
seeing adults have sex, regularly peeks at his mother with
several of the guys. One time one of the guys gets up while
mother is still sleeping to take a leak and sees Jake, now
four years of age, staring at him from his "bed" on the living
room couch. The guy is naked and hung - ponderous balls and a
big dick. He walks over to Jake who immediately reaches up and
touches his balls. The guy spreads his legs and sighs. Jake
then strokes his penis which has gotten very hard and very
big. Jake knows about men's bodies so he's not surprised and
he knows that this guy's hard penis means that Jake can do
things that will give this guy a lot of pleasure and also give
Jake some power over him. He doesn't fully understand what
this is all about but his "training" with the crack head
landlady and her friends does make him sure that he knows what
to do.
Eventually, Judy is into drugs herself but not so much that
she doesn't also know that she has to get Jake somewhere where
he at least has the chance to lead a normal life. Her thoughts
turn to something she has heard about a place in Rosebud,
South Dakota where Indians are educated and taken care of. She
has told Jake, in their moments alone, about her Indian
heritage although not too much about her family except for her
older sister, Winna, who had been almost like a second mother
while she was growing up. Jake heard that Judy's family lived
on a reservation in Montana. Being a very smart boy, he kept
these things in his mind for he had an almost photographic
memory.
So Judy and Jake board a bus and took off for Rosebud. Jake
was about five at this time although he acted like he was
older. He was an attractive mix of Indian and Mexican although
at this stage he was a kind of ugly duckling who would develop
into a handsome swan.
Judy and Jake arrive at Rosebud, South Dakota and are
directed to the Indian school and compound which is run by the
Jesuit Order along with volunteers from big cities where the
Jesuits have colleges and universities. Judy talks with the
administrator, an older Indian man not of her tribe, who tells
her that the school can take Jake but he needs to live there
and Judy needs to sign over guardianship to the school.
It breaks Judy's heart but she agrees. However, nobody
tells Jake about the specifics so when he and Judy have a
tearful good-bye, Jake thinks that Judy will be coming back
for him. Alas, this is not her intention and this good-bye
turns out to be the last time he sees her. She gets back on
the bus to Los Angeles and disappears from his life. Luckily
she has been interviewed by the school social worker so the
files on Jake do have a lot of information about Judy's family
of origin back in Montana. Also it is clear that Jake is an
American citizen despite having been born in Mexico (Judy had
taken care of that about six months before) and that he is 50%
Blackfoot Indian. She had told the social worker about Winna.
Jake settles into life in the school. He is picked on by
some of the other boys because he is new but he has already
learned to take care of himself. He puts up a good fight when
some older boys try to take off his pants even though they
overpower him by larger size and numbers. He is extremely
homesick for his mother but, at this point, still thinks that
she is coming back.
One of the staff members who befriends him is Father
Jerry, a Jesuit priest. Fr. Jerry is a good man who has
volunteered to come from Georgetown University in Washington,
DC, to work at Rosebud with the Indians. He takes an
immediately liking to little Jake and goes out of his way to
make him feel at home. Jake is immediately suspicions of Fr.
Jerry and thinks that he wants to do sexual things with him
like the men whom mother entertained at home for money. Once
he jumps in Fr. Jerry's lap and begins to subtly rub his butt
around in Fr. Jerry's lap. He can feel Fr. Jerry's penis
getting hard. To his surprise, though, Fr. Jerry lifts him
down from his lap and suggests a game of basketball. Jake is
surprised and puzzled. Doesn't Fr. Jerry want to have "fun"
with him?
As time goes on and Jake becomes a regular member of the
school, he does well in school and shows his natural
intelligence for school things. He is also extremely
perceptive - almost as if he can tell what a person is
thinking or feeling without them saying anything. He could
always do this so he doesn't think it's unusual. He is also a
natural athlete and does well in sports several of which are
coached by Fr. Jerry.
He does continue to do sexual things with other boys at
the school in the showers or at night after lights out.
[Vince - you'll have to augment things here!]. However, he
never tells Fr. Jerry with whom he has a nonsexual,
increasingly loving relationship. Fr. Jerry seems to be able
to bring out the best in him.
When Jake is 13 Fr. Jerry is recalled to Washington, DC.
He is not able to say personally good-bye to Jake because
"orders" from his Order came while he was on vacation visiting
his parents in Indianapolis. He writes Jake a great letter
which Jake takes off to his special place in the woods and
sobs as if his heart would break. Fr. Jerry was the closest
"father" Jake had ever had and he had left him too.
Jake is feeling his male hormones pumping and he starts
lifting weights almost obsessively. He has never felt good
about his body going back to his youngest years. The Mexicans
don't completely accept him nor do the Indians completely
accept. It's like he's not part of either group. He
unconsciously feels that if he can make his body muscular, it
will make him feel good about himself inside. This never
really happens but Jake becomes a very muscular young man who
attracts increasingly more attention from both men and women.
Like his mother before him, Jake quickly realizes that
with his maturing, muscular body, he can make some money. On
his leave days from the school, he goes into town by himself
and hangs around places where adult men can pick him up and
pay him for sex. He is already technically good at what they
want to do with him although he has absolutely no feelings
while doing it. It's almost like he's detached from his
feelings. Like he's watching himself from someplace outside
of himself.
Occasionally a guy will rough him up and he has some
explaining to do when he gets back to school with cuts and
bruises. Nonetheless his strength and early experience taking
care of himself in fights allows him to come out of these
negative encounters OK.
One thing, though, that he will not let these men do is
fuck him. He has a strong feeling that he got from somewhere
that this particular sexual act needs to be reserved for
someone he loves even though he doesn't really know what love
feels like. Otherwise he will do almost anything with these
guys if the price is high enough. He learns that his
uncircumcised adolescent dick is a real turn on for these men.
He is perfectly willing to fuck them but the price is high and
he always wears a condom. He also learns that some of them are
fascinated by his brown butt and the "rosebud" inside. He
allows some guys to rub their fingers across his butt hole and
even lick him there. However, he stops them when they start to
put their finger inside him although a few got a finger there
because he was so turned on by the stimulation.
Eventually, by age 16, he was almost getting to be a "pro"
at sex for money. He does not say anything about this to his
fellow school mates although they all notice that he is no
longer interested in their sexual games in the showers or
after lights out in the dorm.
He is called to the office one afternoon and walks in to
see the headmaster talking to a policeman. Somebody has filed
a complaint about him and accused him of robbing him. Jake is,
in fact, innocent of all this but what does come out through
the policeman's questioning (and threatening) of him is a small
part of what he is doing sexually for money. This is too much
for this Catholic institution and it is decided there and then
that he cannot stay there. Besides the bad reputation he might
give to the school, he is much too sexually sophisticated to
continue living with other boys who are just beginning to think
that their penises might be for something other than peeing.
But where to send him? His mother has had no contact with
the school since Jake was left there at five years of age.
However the social worker's family history of Jake taken from
his mother before she departed for LA did indicate that he
might have relatives in Montana. The current social worker
agrees to try to locate somebody in his family as soon as
possible.
Back in Montana, a letter arrives addressed to Winna as
follows:
Dear Ms. [Winna]: I am writing to you regarding your nephew,
Jake, who has been living at our school since he was five
years of age. He is now 16. We have no way to reach his
mother, your sister, Judy, who has had no contact with him
since she left him with us. Because of some actions on Jake's
part, we are no longer able to keep him here. Since you are
the only relative of his we know about, we would like you to
phone us immediately to arrange to pick up Jake.
Yours very truly, [The Headmaster].
Winna shows the letter to Mike whom she has begun to rely
on more and more to navigate the scary waters of interactions
with the "white world". Winna, of course, remembers Judy but
she is very surprised to hear that she had a son. Judy had
been gone so long without any contact that she had thought
that Judy was dead. So Mike and Winna hatch a plan that the
two of them plus Jessie will drive to South Dakota to pick up
Jake.
After a long, anxious drive, they arrive at the school at
Rosebud. They go immediately to the administration building
and ask to see the headmaster with whom they have an
appointment. They go in and are briefed about Jake and why he
is being expelled from the school. Winna is shocked but Mike
and Jessie are a bit more interested on hearing of Jake's
activities of selling sex for money to men in town.
Jake is sent for and soon arrives in the headmaster's
office. He looks sullen but stares at them with glaring eyes.
Winna is again shocked because Jake does look like Judy but an
Indian would never be so disrespectful to stare like Jake is
doing. Mike and Jessie note that he is a very handsome,
muscular young man with brown skin, black hair, and warm,
brown eyes. They also notice to their mild discomfort and
interest that he is wearing tight jeans which shows a
noticeable package between his legs. Jake notices them both
glancing at his crotch and he throws them a smirk.
Jake has already packed his things - not very many things
the adults all notice - and they get into the car to drive
back to Montana. Jake will be living in Winna's house and
sleeping on the living room couch because the house has only
two bedrooms. She is in one of the bedrooms and Mike and
Jessie are in the other.
On the drive back to Montana Jake is largely silent. He
stares out the windows and wonders where his life is taking
him now. He has lost his mother and now is being taken away
from the only home he has ever known. Mike, Jessie, and Winna
each in turn try to engage Jake in conversation but he ignores
them all. Jessie momentarily considers touching Jake to pick
up something of what is going on in his head but thinks the
better of it. Mike, who realizes what Jessie is thinking,
smiles at Jessie who quickly smiles back.
Jake is enrolled in the local high school and sullenly
settles into life at Winna's. The family members come to meet
him but these are all strangers to him and he has no real
memories of his mother, Judy, except the experiential ones
that a young child would have. He does notice, however, that
Mike and Jessie are a couple. He notices how they joke with
each other and, of course, notes that they sleep in the same
bedroom. He has never really seen two men in this kind of a
relationship although he is certainly in no doubt about what
they might do sexually with each other. More than anything
else about his new life, it is his curiosity about Mike and
Jessie that focuses his attention.
As usual Jake attracts a lot of attention in his high
school because of his physical attractiveness particularly
including his well muscled body. When he changes into his gym
outfit for class, the other boys look at Jake's naked body
with envy and awe. Not only is he well muscled but he has a
large looking dick and even larger, full balls. The only hair
he has on his body besides his head is some little under arms
but a lush growth around his dick and balls. And when he bends
over to pick up something as he is dressing or undressing
there are even a few boys who glance with interest at his
brown rosebud.
On the way home from school one afternoon a group of white
boys jump Jake and several other Indian boys. Jake and his
companions give them a good fight and eventually the white
guys take off. However, particulary Jake, is cut and bleeding.
Also one of them has kicked him in the balls causing a tear
and some bleeding.
Jake staggers into the house. The only one home at the time
is Mike. Winna is at work and Jessie is with his grandfather
for shaman training. Mike immediately jumps up and goes to
help Jake. As he is assessing Jake's injuries, he asks Jake
what happened. For once Jake isn't his usual sullen self and
lets Mike take care of him. Mike undresses Jake and takes him
into the bathroom to clean him up. He runs a bath for Jake
and sits him down in the water as he begins to wash him and
decide where Neosporin needs to be applied.
Jake is OK with Mike washing him but when Mike notices the
dried blood on his scrotum Jake suddenly gets embarrassed.
However, Mike is very focused on taking care of Jake and goes
ahead to lift Jake's balls aside to look at the tear. It
doesn't look too bad but it does need some medicine on it. The
problem is that he can't really get to the tear with Jake
sitting in the tub. So, after Jake dries off, he has Jake come
into the bedroom and kneel up on the bed. He tells him to
spread his legs and Mike kneels down on the floor to attend to
the tear in Jake's scrotum. As Mike very delicately puts on
peroxide and then Neosporin, he notices Jake's butt hole
almost touching his own nose. Mike is shocked at finding
himself in this position and also notices that his own penis
is getting hard.
He continues to massage in the medicine and shifts himself
closer to the bed so Jake won't notice his penis tenting the
front of his pants. Jake, too, has gotten hard and Mike's jaw
drops open at the gorgeous dick and balls hanging before him.
It take tremendous control on his part to not reach out and
touch that butt hole, that hard dick.
Jake is also aware of the physical position he is in with
respect to Mike. He wonders what Mike will do. Will Mike try
to do something with him sexually like most other men have
done in the past - with the almost sole exception of Fr.
Jerry. But Mike surprises him by slapping him lightly on the
butt and telling him to get his clothes on - that he's healed.
5/2/03 Luke wrote a follow-up letter:
I was rushing yesterday to get Jake's story out to you
before I lost my nerve and erased it. However I found a number
of typo errors when I reread it last night. The last paragraph
from Jake's story in yesterday's letter should read as follows:
Jake is also aware of the physical position he is in with
respect to Mike with his butt spread apart and right in front
of Mike's face. He wonders what Mike will do. Will Mike try to
do something sexual with him like most other men have done in
the past - with the almost sole exception of Fr. Jerry? He
almost hopes he will. But Mike surprises him by slapping him
lightly on the butt and telling him to get his clothes back
on - that he'll heal fine although he has to be careful to
keep the area clean.
Let me tell you some more things I thought about last
night and driving into work this morning about Jake as
follows:
* Jake is a guy who longs to be loved by a man who can father
him. He does not remember Miguel, his own father, and only
Fr. Jerry offered him any real personal caring although Jake
always felt that it was because of some spiritual impulse on
Fr. Jerry's part rather than a personal love directed at Jake.
And Fr. Jerry suddenly disappeared from his life with just a
letter of good-bye.
* One of the guys who picks Jake up for sex in town is a
married doctor in his mid-30's named Karl. Karl is a
responsible, "good citizen" type of guy who got his girl
friend pregnant and did the "right thing" by marrying her. He
now has three kids, a successful medical practice, but is
increasingly aware that his always present sexual attraction
to other guys is growing stronger. He knows that if he hadn't
had to marry his wife he might have remained single and maybe
even become gay. He now deals with his own sexual needs for
other guys by paying for sex. He hopes that this will keep
him from getting involved emotionally with another guy and
allow him to preserve his marriage. So this is why he picked
up Jake. Karl liked Jake's obviously mixed race looks. Also
Jake is very handsome and masculine looking. Karl is nervous
and Jake is gentle with him. After some touching, oral sex,
and eventually cumming with mutual masturbation, Karl and Jake
begin to talk. This leads to future encounters between the
two of them including, eventually, in Karl's medical office
after hours. Jake knows that Karl really likes him and he is
also aware that he feels strangely drawn to Karl in a way that
makes him nervous. It has always been a rule with him that he
never allows himself to care for a trick. One time Karl asks
Jake about his own physical health and discovers that Jake
knows very little about sexual health and safety beyond never
getting fucked and always using a condom. He has never been
tested for HIV. So Karl arranges for Jake to come back the
following day during regular business hours for a general
physical exam. Karl does a blood test on Jake including an
HIV test sent in anonymously. Karl seems very professional
with Jake during this appointment but, given their previous
contact, Jake reaches out to stroke Karl's penis through his
pants and white medical jacket. Karl looks around nervously to
see that the door to the examining room is closed, knows that
nurses rarely interrupt him when he is with a patient, and
impulsively kisses Jake on the mouth. They had never done this
before. Jake is surprised but realizes that it feels
wonderful. So they continue kissing and in the process of
this very passionate exchange Karl whispers to Jake that he
thinks he's falling in love with him. Jake is blown away by
this and also by the fact that he realizes that tears have
come to his eyes. He has no idea why he has begun to cry. He
hasn't cried since he was a little kid and realized that his
mother probably wasn't coming back. But the tears flow. Karl
just holds him tightly against himself as the sobs come.
(Vince - I could go on with this but you get the picture...)
* At the Rosebud School Jake is one of the stars in terms of
great grades, skilled athletic ability, nice personality, and
because of his huge investment of time in body building has a
body which all the guys envy and all the girls admire. Jake
has heard about Marfan's Syndrome which is something that many
Indians have. However in one of his conversations with Karl
about this, it is clear that he, because of mixed race
heritage, does not have it. There is a boy at school who is
two years younger than Jake whom Jake has taken under his
wing. Charlie is also of mixed racial descent. His mother was
a full blooded Cherokee Indian and his father was Chinese.
Because of his Chinese father, Charlie was of small stature
and always picked on by the other boys. Maybe it was because
of both of them being only 50% Indian that Jake felt
protective of Charlie. Anybody who picked on Charlie had to
answer to Jake. Charlie followed Jake around like a shadow.
They did everything together that was possible given the fact
that they were in different grades in school. Charlie was not
an athlete but he was very, very smart. He had to hide this
talent of his because the other kids would be jealous and he
would be even more excluded than he already was. Charlie was
very admiring of Jake's developing body and when Jake got
fully into puberty, Charlie would ask to see and touch Jake's
suddenly bigger and hairy dick and balls. Jake even allowed
Charlie to get him hard and to see him ejaculate. This was a
secret that Charlie and Jake had together but it bonded them
even more closely. Charlie was the younger brother that Jake
never had and Jake was the idolized older brother that he
never had. Like Jake, Charlie had been left at the Rosebud
School by his mother long ago.
NOTE: BOTH OF THESE RELATIONSHIPS - WITH KARL AND WITH
CHARLIE - CAN BE PICKED UP AGAIN LATER IN "NEW TO LOVE" ONCE
EVERYBODY GROWS UP A LITTLE. THE SEPARATION OF JAKE FROM
BOTH KARL AND CHARLIE IS VERY PAINFUL AND NEITHER OF THEM
FORGETS JAKE. NOR DOES FR. JERRY WHO MIGHT WELL COME BACK
ONTO THE SCENE BY SEARCHING JAKE OUT AFTER HE HAS LEFT THE
PRIESTHOOD. FR. JERRY WAS A YOUNG JESUIT WHEN HE FIRST MET
JAKE AND JAKE WAS STILL A BOY. SO FR. JERRY IS ONLY ABOUT TEN
YEARS OLDER THAN JAKE.
* At Winna's, Jake is almost overwhelmed by all the love and
affection and acceptance he is getting by the immediate
family and also by the tribe at large simply because he is
Judy's son. He has never before experienced such family love.
This is already beginning to germinate inside him and he is
surprised by the very tender and new feelings he is
experiencing. As he settles in, it is clear to everybody that
he is beginning to act like a normal 16 year old. He becomes
more playful with Mike and Jessie at home including playfully
bumping his body against them both. There is something
physically frail about Jessie, though, and Mike has told him
to be careful with Jessie. However, Mike is not frail and
Jake really enjoys physically playing around with him. For
Mike's part, he has never had this experience with another
guy. Because of his own history of being so withdrawn and
autistic as he was growing up, he missed all this. With Jake
it's almost like he temporarily regresses to a teenager
himself. Jessie notices this and loves him all the more for
it. Mike is loosening up in many areas including this one!
* As Jake gets older, he gets a lot of attention from the
girls and he is encouraged by Winna to go out on dates. He
does this and even gets into some heavy petting. He realizes,
though, that he is not really sexually attracted to them.
Being a good actor in this regard, the girls never sense this.
They just think of him as "holding himself back for the right
person" and that makes him even more desirable. Only Mike,
Jessie, and Winna know of Jake's activities which got him
kicked out of Rosebud. Jake has actually crept back to the
hallway at night and listened at the door of Jessie's and
Mike's bedroom. He hears them talking, laughing, and
sometimes making love. He longs to actually watch what
they're doing but he doesn't dare. Maybe someday he will be
able to.
* After a year or so, Jake begins to more and more act on his
attraction to guys. He is particularly attracted to Jessie's
uncle, Running Water. There's something about an older guy
that really attracts Jake. It's not just sexual although he
knows that sexual attraction is part of it. But he also
finds older guys, like Karl back in South Dakota, to be
interesting, nurturing, and quietly loving. Maybe it's
because he never really had a father that such a strong
attraction occurs. He doesn't care why. He just knows that
this is true. Running Water, for his part, certainly finds
Jake attractive but has kept a "hands off" policy about him
because of his situation.
Well, Vince, I think I am going to send this off to you as
it is. I feel about drained in terms of Jake at this point. I
don't know what has gotten into me! I will respond more
directly to your letter in my next letter which, hopefully,
will either be today or over the weekend.
5/8/03 Vince Water wrote:
Dear Luke,
I saw how much time and effort you had made in writing about
Jake. Please do not think that my lack of reply meant that I'm
not interested in what you've written. I've been so busy with
correcting the older parts 1-3, editing NewLove4.txt and...
Wow! You have really come up with a good background for a
future NtL story character - Jake. Most of your material is
usable but it's mostly background information to help explain
who Jake is to Mike, Jessie and the gang. What interested me
more was the information outline you've provided that I can
use in NtL at his current age. Even some specific scenes such
as Mike tending to Jake's injuries.
A thought occurs to me. Why not write a complete story
(series?) about Jake's early years before he comes into NtL?
At NtL part 6, Mike has YET to even move into Winna's home.
Taking on a troubled teenager is not going to happen until
many more story parts are written. That gives you the time to
WRITE Jake's story, pass it through me (for editing only and
some suggestions - it is YOUR story not subject to my authority)
and then post it with the Nifty Archive! I will ask David
to have your Jake story/series posted within the Native
American Indian directory where my stuff is located.
I really think you should write Jake's story! Think up a good
pen name (the first name of Luke would be nice as that is how
I knew you at the beginning of our correspondence). Think up
a good story title/series title for Jake and then WRITE about
him. Don't worry about not being good enough. From what I've
read in your letters to me and with all that information
about Jake, you can do it. Your stories should be in your own
style, not mine. I'll read over your first story to make
editing/comments but it is your work. Post it on Nifty so
that others can enjoy it. When NtL is ready to include Jake,
the readers would have read about his younger years and
enhance the joining of our stories. Of course, you will have
some control over events about Jake in my series so as to
align to what you've written about Jake already.
I realize that helping you with writing Jake's story will
slow mine down but that doesn't concern me. I love to write.
And an involvement in your series will be very interesting
and rewarding for us both. I am going to have to reread your
background about Jake again a few more times before suggesting
some compatibility changes before you begin writing. Nothing
major. With a good start of getting the outline correct to
both our satisfaction, you'll be able to begin the story and
I'll be better able to incorporate Jake into NtL.
We'll work out the logistics after you have your first story
written. Very exciting!
Here is my word of warning. WRITING IS VERY ADDICTIVE. It can
take over your life, precluding you from 'real' life
activities that your partner may notice, perhaps to the
detriment of your relationship. That has happened to my own
relationship... sigh. Writing is a very useful vehicle for
expression, especially when there's a lacking in one's own
life. Fantasy comes more to life when writing a story about
something that may never actual happen to you.
Here are some ground-rules should we collaborate on writing
together. Your Jake stories are your own, not subject to my
authority. I want to help you with a compatible outline FIRST
before you write Jake's story to better include him in a far
future NtL story part.
You have really detailed Jake's life to where he will enter
NtL at sixteen years of age. That framework will help you
actually write his story by filling in story details. It is a
differing style/method from how I write. I try not to plan my
story's goals too far in advance. Part of the fun for me in
writing is that I do not know where my fingers are going to
take me! Hence my mental block in finishing 'Shaman Willow
Bird'. I have written the end to WB's physical body life. He
will be 'reborn' within Running Wolf with his spirit and
memories merging with that boy's. Anyway, I am hoping that
you will 'take the plunge' and actually write Jake's story.
By the time you have that started well with the posting of
stories, NtL will have advanced to the point of Jake's
introduction and merging with my story.
Sometime later in 2003, Vince wrote:
Dear Luke,
Suggested corrections to your outline:
Judy's family would have tried looking for her after she ran
away to be with Miguel. That's expected of a close-nit Native
American family and any family for their youngest member. A
'missing persons' report would have been filed with the F.B.I.
(is that the correct Government agency to file with?) but
because Judy was in Mexico, she would not have been located.
There wouldn't have been much effort, back then. The paperwork
would remain on file and eventually help Jake find his family
in Havre, Montana.
I agree that Judy's family would have no idea what happened
to her. Her fling with Miguel in the U.S. was so sudden, and
done in secret. The passing years would convince her family
that she had met with foul play, never to be heard from again.
Miguel's mom would have loved her daughter-in-law, especially
after Judy gives her a grandson to cherish. Like Native
American families, Mexican families are very close-nit.
When Miguel's family attend that wedding in New Mexico, Judy
comes with because she also intends to visit with her mom and
dad in Havre to show them little Jake. I agree with you that
her return to the U.S. makes her realize what she'd been
missing and she gets away from Miguel at this time.
Something happens that prevents Judy from getting to Havre.
Perhaps a lack of bus money. Something then happens that puts
her in that situation of living in that crack head woman's
house. (She was picked up by some guy she thought would help
her but instead, was drugged (crack?) and raped.)
Judy, as any protective mother, could not ignore what Jake was
being subjected to in that crack house but her desperate
situation of needing crack would force her to tolerate it, a
most agonizing guilt trip for her. Eventually, she has saved
enough money (or stole it as persons on drugs can never save
money) and gets an apartment of her own with Jake. She turns
tricks there as you've written.
Something happens to prompt Judy to take Jake to Rosebud, SD.
Maybe she intends to clean up her life (from drugs) but needs
Jake to be somewhere safe. Perhaps her guilt of the life
she'd been leading, with Jake seeing his mom with lots of men
prompts her to give Jake up so as to prevent him from
following in her doomed footsteps.
Jake's school life is well written. Especially when finding
a much-needed father image in Fr. Jerry. I agree with you
that nothing sexual happens between them. That will help Jake
understand why Mike doesn't jump him in NtL.
When Jake's 'secret job' is discovered by his school, they
intend to discharge him as expected and that's when the
information provided by Judy (school entry form) meets up with
that F.B.I.'s missing persons report. Winna is given a call.
Instead of having M&J and Winna going all that way down to
ND, Jake flies to Great Falls, Montana (where Mike had flown
in from Indiana) and he's met by M,J and Winna. It's a few
hours drive from there to Havre and your scene of Jake
looking out the window, feeling lost, etc. works then.
I'm not sure how much information about why Jake was asked to
leave the school is given to Winna. The school's admin. wants
him gone but providing Winna with the sordid details about
prostituting himself would not entice an aunt to come get
him. I understand the importance of Winna knowing that Jake
is gay and having sexual problems. She has the support of M&J
to help her with this troubled teen. In any case, Jake is her
baby sister's child! That alone would have Winna wanting to
take Jake in.
You've provided me with very good material once Jake is in
Havre. I'm really thinking that Winna should not be told
about why he was asked to leave the school. That way, his
behavior could get 'picked up' by M&J who offer to help.
End of critique (for now).
If you were to write Jake's story, it would have to be in a
narrative 'past tense' format instead of my favored writing
style of first-person. That way, you can write Judy's story
that leads to Jake's earliest years to the present time.
The other way you could go would be to write in first-person
format with your story beginning when Jake is in that Indian
school. To explain his earlier years to your readers, they'd
be as memories or bad dreams are the sharing of confidence
with Fr. Jerry and/or Dr. Karl.
Or you could simply flesh out the outline you've provided me
about Jake, as was your original intent and wait until NtL
progresses in parts until Jake comes into that series.
Heed my warning to you about writing! It can be all consuming.
10/30/04 Luke wrote:
JAKE'S STORY CONTINUED:
BACKGROUND: I have reviewed my letters to you dated May 1 and
May 2, 2003, where I talk about Jake and his life. I also have
reviewed your letter to me dated May 8, 2003. So I pick up
Jake's story with all this background in mind. Also I am
changing things according to what you suggested. I will talk
about what happens to Jake just before he leaves and when he
first arrives in Montana. Hopefully Jake can tell this story
later in NtTL by telling Mike, at least, about himself once he
trusts him. I'm writing this in the chronological way that it
happened. I am leaving it up to you to write it in narrative
form and to work in parts of Jake's story as he chooses to
tell them to Mike or maybe to Mike & Jessie.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Jake is now a 16 year old adolescent of
mixed Indian and Mexican background. He has dark brown hair, a
very pleasant brown complexion, and his body is quite muscled
from his having really worked at lifting weights and
exercising to create just such a body. He arrives with
shoulder length hair parted in the middle. He deliberately
created more of an "Indian look" because that's what his male
clients in South Dakota wanted - to have sex with an Indian
boy. The one very different and striking feature about him,
though, is that he has green eyes. These probably came from
somewhere in his Mexican background - from the Spanish blood
that is undoubtedly there somewhere in addition, of course, to
the Mayan. The color of his eyes is sometimes more a light
brown depending on the light and, some think, depending on his
mood. He has a strong personality and tends to be a natural
leader. He is about 5' 10" and has a kind of swimmer's body
with muscles. He has a trace of a moustache but no other
facial hair. His body is free of hair except for under his
arms and a lush pubic hair. He is uncircumcised with a penis
that is about 4 inches soft and about 7 inches hard. It stands
straight up against his stomach almost touching his belly
button when he is hard. He has large balls that hang in a sac
that hangs down about as low as his cock when it is soft. His
balls are slightly hairy as is his anus. His cock and balls
are noticeably darker than his skin color. He was teased about
this at school in the gang showers but his clients liked this.
Jake was indifferent to it. It was, after all, just his body.
His smile is magnetic and absolutely lights up his face and
general demeanor.
PERSONALITY BACKGROUND: Jake has been engaged in sexual
activity from his earliest years. First in the crack head's
house where he and his mother lived. Then at their own
apartment in connection with his mother turning tricks. There
was a brief respite when he arrived at the school in Rosebud,
South Dakota, but soon he was "initiated" into sex with other
students - both male and female. At around age 12 when puberty
had already begun with him, he began going into town and
engaging in sexual activity with men for money. Through his
experiences and helpful comments from his customers, he became
very good at giving these guys sexual pleasure. About the only
thing he would never do is to allow anybody to fuck him. He
would, however, let them play with his butt and learned that
for some guys it was preferred that he not wash his anus after
he had taken a shit because they liked his butt that way. For
others he needed to be absolutely clean "down there". But
although he was an excellent partner by the time he has to
leave the school, he feels nothing when he has sex with these
guys. About the closest he has come to feeling anything loving
in connection with sex is with Dr. Karl. And even with him
it's as if the sex and love are completely disconnected -
existing on two different planes of experience.
RESUMPTION OF JAKE'S STORY: Brother Tom, the Headmaster at
the Rosebud School, has Jake in his office. He tells him how
disappointed he is in Jake that Jake would bring some shame on
the school and on the Jesuits by "being a male prostitute". He
cannot believe that Jake would just throw away the Catholic
values that the Jesuits have taught him since he arrived 5
years of age. "Haven't 11 years of Jesuit education meant
anything to you?" Jake is both ashamed and defiant.
Br. Tom tells him that he has written his aunt, Winna, in
Havre, Montana, that she is his only known relative. Nobody,
including Jake, has heard from his mother since she left him
at the school and she is presumed to be dead. His aunt will
have to take him because Jake is being expelled from the
school. Br. Tom has already bought a plane ticket for Jake to
Great Falls, Montana - the nearest airport to Havre. Although
the school is not rich, Br. Tom wants to get Jake out of the
school as soon as possible without any hassle because he is
afraid of a scandal. He already had the assurance of the
police that if Jake were to relocate to another state, the
accuser would very likely drop the charges. So he purchases
Jake's plane ticket to Great Falls out of a "dean's
discretionary fund" set up by benefactors for just such an
emergency. Br. Tom tells Jake that he is to pack his suitcase
(some old ones brought by arriving kids of years past).
Jake's head is reeling from the shock and with the prospect
of being thrown out of the only family he has known since he
was five years of age. Also he thinks of his younger friend,
Charlie, to whom he has been a combination older brother and
father figure. Earlier this day after the decision was known
but not officially announced to Jake, he has told Charlie who
had almost become hysterical and begged Jake to take him with
him to Montana. Jake told him that he couldn't but if there
was any chance in the future to have Charlie come to where he
will be living, he would make it happen. He knew how much he
cared for Charlie and how lost Charlie would be without him.
He feared that inasmuch as he has protected Charlie, the other
older boys in the school would "teach Charlie a lesson" many
times over once Jake was gone.
Also Jake knew that he was going to really miss Dr. Karl.
He had actually begun to feel loved by Dr. Karl and would
really miss him. He was not sure that he loved Dr. Karl
because he wasn't exactly sure what that word "love" meant. He
did know that Dr. Karl and maybe Fr. Jerry when Jake was
younger were the closest things to fathers he had. He knew he
had to see Dr. Karl and to say good-bye but also for another
reason. Dr. Karl was holding all of Jake's money!
He told Br. Tom that he wasn't feeling too good and hinted
at something that he deliberately made to sound like an STD.
He suggested that Dr. Karl have a look at him before he went
off to his aunt in Montana. Br. Tom, not wanting to send a
diseased Jake off to his aunt, agreed to call Dr. Karl and ask
him to stop by the school to see Jake.
When Dr. Karl arrived and they were behind closed doors,
Jake flew into his arms and held him like he never wanted to
let go. Dr. Karl was crying and telling him that he would find
him somehow and that they would be together again. Then Dr.
Karl got out an envelope with money in it. Dr. Karl had been
holding Jake's hustling money for him. He now gave it back to
him with a large chunk more money from himself. He would miss
Jake terribly and not for the first time thought about leaving
his wife and family to run off with Jake and make a life with
him.
As they held each other and said their good-byes, Jake
slipped his hand down Dr. Karl's body and felt the old
familiar hard cock through Dr. Karl's jeans. As had happened
many times before, as he started to squeeze this very familiar
cock for perhaps the last time, Dr. Karl moaned and began to
stroke Jake's butt. Dr. Karl unbuttoned Jake's pants and Jake
did the same to him. Since they were in a room at the school,
both knew that this had to be quick or they risked being
caught. Dr. Karl took both of their cocks in his hand and
rubbed them together. As he had thought so often before since
Jake had "grown up", their cocks were about the same size. Dr.
Karl's was pink and circumcised. Jake's was dark with its
pinkish head poking out of its wrinkled, darker covering of
skin. Both were kissing and Jake could feel himself coming
closer to squirting the white cum that felt so good. At the
same time, though, he began to tune out and move to some other
plane of consciousness as to often happened when he had sex
with clients.
He realized that almost every major relationship in his
short life had involved sex. This "father", Dr. Karl who said
he loved him had started out as his sexual client when he was
14 and their get togethers had always involved sex. His
"brother", Charlie, frequently slept in Jake's bed and they
held each other close. Charlie liked to try to slip Jake's
cock into his butt. Sometimes they just lay there in "spoon
fashion" in bed with neither of them moving and with Jake's
cock either between his legs or, sometimes, inside his butt.
So it is fitting that perhaps his last time with Dr. Karl
involves sex. Fr. Jerry, the Jesuit priest who had befriended
him at the school shortly after he arrived, was the only
"father" who didn't have sex with him. He knew that Fr. Jerry
was aroused by him because he had felt his cock getting hard
through his cassock as he sat on his lap but as soon as that
started to happen, Fr. Jerry would lift him down and
immediately suggest that they do something else. This had
puzzled him then because his experience with men was that if
their dicks got hard, they wanted to do something sexual with
him that ended with them squirting their cum. But this was
"now" and he had to work to bring his mind and consciousness
back to the present and focus on what Dr. Karl was doing with
both their cocks or he wouldn't cum. He realized that he
wanted to remember Dr. Karl and their last time together as he
went into whatever future awaited him.
Br. Tom took Jake to the airport and waited until he
boarded the plane. This was Jake's first plane flight but he
felt strangely calm. Br. Tom shook hands with him, wished him
luck, and said that the Jesuit community would pray for him.
Jake thanked him and got on board.
Although his first flight, it was uneventful for Jake
because his head was still spinning by all this happening so
rapidly. First the humiliation of being discovered in terms of
his hustling activity. Then the injustice of being accused of
robbing one of his tricks. Then the indignity and hurt of Br.
Tom and the other Jesuits. Then the discovery that he had an
aunt in Havre, Montana, and that he was being sent to her
almost whether she liked it or not. It was all too much. Jake
felt numb.
Winna, back in Havre, had received Br. Tom's letter about
Jake's expulsion from the Rosebud School and the fact that he
was being put on a plane and sent to her as his only known
relative. She was stunned to realize that her baby sister,
Judy, had a son who was now 16 years old. She also wondered
what had happened at the school to get Jake expelled from it
after being there for 11 years. And why, if the school knew
about her, hadn't they contacted her before this? This was a
lot for Winna to deal with all at once.
She talked with Mike and Jessie about going to Great Falls
with her to pick up Jake. They offered to go by themselves but
she insisted that she come alone also although they did not
have a vehicle that could comfortably transport more than
three people inside it. In truth she was so excited to meet
Judy's son that she simply couldn't wait until the boys
returned with Jake to Havre. Also she felt that at his aunt,
she needed to go there to officially welcome him back into the
family. And she just wanted to lay eyes on him!
So it was agreed that she and Jessie would drive up in her
truck and Mike would follow in his. On the way back, Jake
would drive back with Mike. It was a lot of driving being
about two hours each way between Great Falls and Havre but
Winna could not think of another way to do this.
The three of them were waiting just outside the security
area inside the airport terminal when the passengers from
Jake's plane started arriving. When he stepped into view,
Winna knew exactly who he was because he looked achingly like
her sister, Judy. Tears started forming in her eyes immediately.
Jessie, as was his wont, remained slightly behind Winna shyly
peeking around her. Mike, though, was looking directly at Jake
and smiling warmly.
Jake spotted them also and from their reaction to him, he
knew that it was his aunt and two young guys. He knew nothing
about his mother's family so he had no idea if Winna had a
husband or children. He guessed he would find out. He had a
momentary thought of just running out of the airport and
taking a cab into Great Falls. He knew that he had enough
money with him that he wouldn't starve and he knew how to make
money with his body. After all, he was 16 and many people go
out on their own at this age.
Still... he had never even seen any of his family on either
side since he was a very young boy. Here, in front of him, was
his mother's older sister - the older sister who had practically
raised his mother and who was always her protector. Judy had
talked often about Winna when Jake was very young and when
Judy would get nostalgic about her Indian family. He knew that
he needed and wanted to meet these people and get to know his
family - at last!
Winna comes up to him first, gives him a hug and a kiss on
the cheek, and says "Welcome, Jake, to the family. I cannot
tell you how glad I am to meet you and to know that my baby
sister had a son and that he has grown as big and handsome as
you are!" She smiled and Jake smiled back feeling warm all
over. Winna introduced him to her son, Jessie, and his
"friend" Mike. Jake had always had a way of knowing certain
things about people without their having told him and he
sensed right away the connection between Mike and Jessie. He
wondered if his aunt knows about that. Jessie looked shy and
somewhat unfriendly but Jake knew that he could win him over.
He had a great confidence in his own personality to do that if
he wished. But Mike was another story.
Mike looked directly at Jake and although Jake was looking
back and forth between Jessie and his aunt as Winna was
talking to him, he was aware of Mike's gaze on him. He did not
know why, but he instinctively felt that Mike was somebody
that maybe he could eventually trust. He also realized that he
had checked out their packages as he looked at each of them
and he thought that at least Mike had checked him out. This
was going to be interesting.
Winna told him about the plans for him to drive back to
Havre with Mike in his truck and that she and Jessie would
drive back in hers. They said that at least for the time being
Jake would live with them and that he was welcome. She
suggested that they get some lunch in the airport restaurant
before setting out for Havre. Also, Winna thought but did not
say that she was very curious about Jake and wanted to talk to
him a bit before the long drive back.
They settled around a table, for four, and ordered
hamburgers, fries, and cokes. Winna asked Jake how long ago he
has seen his mother and Jake told her a very edited version of
his childhood memories of living with Judy. He knew from the
social worker at Rosebud School who had interviewed Judy and
done a detailed social history with her that his father's
family lived in Mexico and that he had been born there
although his father and mother had never married. He talked
about coming to the US when he was quite young and that his
mother and he lived in various places. He did not say anything
about what his mother did to earn a living or anything about
the living conditions. Winna seemed satisfied with what he was
saying but he felt that Jessie and Mike both thought that
there was more. Jake was going to have to be careful of them
in terms of something slipping out that he didn't want.
Winna asked him about the Rosebud School and remarked how
wonderful it was of the Jesuits to keep him for eleven years
with no money being paid for his upkeep. Jake told them that
he got a good education and was in the 10th grade when he was
expelled. This led, naturally, to Winna asking very delicately
and indirectly why he was expelled. Jake knew from the
questioning of him that Br. Tom had not told her about his
hustling and being accused of robbing a client. So he told her
that he had been in several fights at school and the Jesuits
had finally had it with him. Again, Winna seemed to accept
this at face value but the look that Jake saw pass between
Mike and Jessie let him know that they weren't buying this
story either.
Throughout the lunch Jessie did not say a thing. He would
look at Jake but whenever Jake would glance at him, Jessie
would look down. Even when it came to ordering lunch, Winna
and Mike together ended up ordering for Jessie. Jake knew that
Jessie was Winna's only child and thought that he was probably
in high school himself.
Mike, however, was right in there with Winna in terms of
asking him questions. He looked at Jake rather intensely and
Jake felt a surge of energy that he recognized as partly
sexual. Of the three of them, Mike was the one who really
interested him.
As lunch went on, Jake withdrew into an adolescent surliness
sometimes but at other times was charming and smiling. Also
during this lunch when Winna talked about sleeping
arrangements, she mentioned that Jake would be sleeping in the
laundry room because there were only two bedrooms in the house
and she was in one and Mike & Jessie were in the other. So,
thought Jake, I guess these two guys are a couple after all.
And clearly Aunt Winna accepts that. This is indeed going to
be an interesting family to live in!
So Mike and Jake piled Jake's suitcase in the back of
Mike's truck and the four of them set off for Havre.
The two trucks followed each other down the highway and
Jake settled into a thoughtful silence as he looked out the
window at the Montana landscape passing by. Mike was inclined
to let him be with his thoughts for a while. This kid is only
16 years old and suddenly he is thrown out of where he has
lived for 11 years and into a family that he didn't, until a
week ago, even know he had. The kid must be reeling.
In truth, Jake was reeling. He found himself missing the
familiarity of Rosebud School and of his friends there. He
wondered how Charlie is doing and in his heart repeated the
promise to Charlie that if it were humanly possible, he would
somehow get Charlie to come to live with this family. And then
he thought of Dr. Karl. Even though he started out as one of
Jake's sexual clients and even though they always had some
kind of sex for money whenever they were together, he knew
that Dr. Karl really cared for him. It was with Dr. Karl that
Jake had allowed himself to cry when Dr. Karl told him that he
thought that he loved him and also when he was saying good-bye
to Dr. Karl yesterday. Jake, normally as hard as a rock
emotionally, trusted this man enough to let himself be
vulnerable and emotional.
He wondered what life was going to be like in this family.
Aunt Winna seemed like a very nice lady and he knew that she
had loved his mother. He wondered about Mike and Jessie. Were
they going to expect him to have sex with him? He didn't know
but if that were the case, he certainly knew how to handle
himself sexually with them. But what intrigued him about them
is wondering if there was more between them than just sex. He
knew all about sex. He was very, very good at having sex with
guys (and even some girls) thought he was a wonderful lover.
He was able to put guys at ease sexually and he had a lot of
repeat customers. However, he always longed for more. Although
he didn't really understand it, he longed to love and be loved.
Only later through living with this family and with the help
of Mike and Jessie would Jake be able to understand what he
was longing for.
As Jake thought about Dr. Karl and about Charlie especially,
he realized that among other things, he was feeling the
beginnings of arousal. He knew without looking down at himself
or touching it, that his cock was getting hard. Oh, God... he
thought, I don't want Mike to see this. I don't want to deal
with sex right now and certainly not with this guy who is part
of this new family who is taking me in.
Jake was pulled out of his reverie by Mike who asked him
how he was doing. He gave the expected answer of "just fine".
Then he turned away from the window to look at Mike. Mike
glanced back at him and then turned his eyes to the road. He
did not think that Mike had noticed his cock getting hard.
Anyway, as he brought himself back to the present, he was
quickly getting softer. Mike looked like an OK guy to Jake and
he wondered if he could trust Mike. Again, his instincts told
him that he could. So he took a risk and told Mike that the
leaving of Rosebud School had been sudden and he was really
missing his friends.
Mike's gentle questions gradually drew Jake out somewhat.
Jake told him about his mother just leaving him with the
Jesuits and never returning. Jake had no idea if she was alive
or dead. Mike seemed to understand the pain that Jake was
expressing and didn't feel a need to offer any advice or
criticism. He just encouraged Jake to talk some more. Jake
talked about Fr. Jerry, the Jesuit priest who had been like a
father to him and who had suddenly been sent someplace else by
his Order and had to say good-bye in a letter. Fr. Jerry had
promised to come back to see Jake but had never done so.
And Jake told Mike about Charlie. He talked with such
feeling that Mike commented that it was almost like leaving
your brother behind. Jake turned to Mike full face and said
"Exactly! That's exactly what it feels like! Charlie had
sobbed as we were saying good-bye and I also wanted to take
him with me. I wonder if I'll ever see him again. And I wonder
if he's going to be OK." Mike asked Jake if Charlie had any
family and Jake said that he didn't think so. Mike stored this
piece of information to think over later.
Then Jake began to talk about Dr. Karl. Of course, Jake did
not say anything about their sex-for-money relationship but he
did talk a bit about how good friends they had become. He told
Mike that Fr. Jerry and Dr. Karl both were like the father
that he never really knew. He hoped that he could see Dr. Karl
again.
The thing that Jake said nothing about and that Mike
wondered about was Jake's sexuality. Mike guessed, just
looking at Jake, that he had been sexually active. He had a
discernable sexual aura about him. But, then again, he lived
in a Catholic boarding school run by Jesuits. Maybe no sexual
activity went on. Mike knew the reputation that boarding
schools have of boys having sex with each other without the
adults in charge knowing. He'd have to get Jake talking about
this later once Mike felt that the situation was ripe for that
further degree of confidence.
Mike did clearly pick up from comments that Jake made that
he understood the nature of his relationship with Jessie and
seemed OK with it. Mike sensed that maybe Jake might want to
ask something more about it but just didn't know him well
enough to do so.
As they approached Havre, Jake grew silent again. Jake, for
his part, felt greatly unburdened by having shared this with
Mike but also felt exposed. Maybe he should have kept his
mouth shut! Well, he had to see what Mike did with the
information. He guessed that Mike would tell Jessie what they
had talked about but he hoped he wouldn't be so sharing with
Winna - at least not just yet. He wondered if they would ever
find out about the real reason why he was expelled. And if/when
they did, what would he do then? Would they throw him out too?
As Jake and Mike walked into the house which Jake would
call home for the foreseeable future, he knew that he was
stepping into a new chapter in his life.
Ok, Vince, how is this?
I know that you are writing in the first person with Mike
as the narrator. I don't exactly know how to get this material
about Jake into the narrative of NtTL but I hope that you can.
As I said in the beginning of this letter, I think that it
could come out as Jake gradually tells his story to Mike,
Jessie, and Winna. As he begins to feel more at home and
learns to trust particularly Mike and Jessie, it is reasonable
that he will begin to open up. After all, Jake is a bright guy
and he has never had the chance to "tell his story" and try to
make sense of his life experiences up to this point.
My own thought is that Mike could well serve as a kind of
mentor, older brother, and pseudo-psychotherapist. Mike and
Jake will have lots of time together since Jessie will be in
Shaman training and away from home a lot. Winna will depend on
Mike to "take Jake under your wing" and help him get adjusted.
Also Winna senses that Jake is a complicated kid with "big
city ways" that are a bit beyond her. It is with Mike that
Jake will really bond. It is very likely that Mike could share
some of his own experiences of realizing how attractive he is
to Jessie when they first met in the classroom and how he has
grown in those feelings over time. Jake, of course, is at the
polar opposite of where Mike is. For Jake, sex has been either
aggressive or violent (older boys at school sticking their
dicks in his mouth and fucking him), playful (friends at
school who get together in private or in the showers to get
their dicks hard and see who can cum first), for money (the
sexual clients he met in town starting when he was 12), but
not yet for love.
Since Jake's total experience with other guys has always
included sex in some fashion, it would not be surprising that
he and Mike would do some sexual things together too. For
Jake, this would feel very familiar. And here I am thinking of
showing each other their cocks. Maybe masturbating themselves
in front of each other. You know - the kinds of things that
adolescents might do at a boarding school. There is little
danger that sex would equal love for Jake because it never
has. This is precisely the problem. Sex and feelings of love
are completely separated. Although the Jesuits took good care
of his body and spiritual needs when he was at the school, he
never really experienced the kind of love that one feels in a
loving family. So the love that he will experience with and
from Mike, Jessie, and Winna will be very new to him. He will
distrust it at first probably sometimes reject it before he
begins to let it in.
You wondered, Vince, if Jake was only attracted to white
guys. I don't think so. In "town" where he sold his body to
men, there probably would have been all sorts of men - young,
old, white, Indian, Black, Mexican, short, tall, heavy, thin,
and so forth. He learned that most men no matter what they
looked like physically had something attractive about them or
inside them. It was that which allowed Jake to connect with
them. And the men sensed this because Jake had a number of
"regulars" who ended up talking to him as much as having sex
with him as time went on. Jake felt, in some way, that he was
helping them in this way. This is almost parallel to the
Indian values in some of your earlier stories of a man making
himself available to another man in need.
What Jake is particularly attracted to, though, are older
men. He is longing for a "father" who will love him for
himself and not just for what he can do for him sexually. This
lack of a father has branded Jake's psyche and, like it or not,
he will unconsciously seek this out. It may be, for instance,
that he will find himself powerfully attracted to Running Water
who is older enough to be seen as a kind of father figure who
is also gay.
Although Jake has had sex with both males and females (at
school with some of the girls in the girl's section of Rosebud
School and, also, once with a woman who picked him up in town
for sex-for-money). Being young, he can easily get aroused and
probably have sex with almost anybody. However, without
explicitly realizing it, he knows that he is really attracted
to men. Being so masculine and, in the past year, so muscular,
he was hit on by girls a lot. Just before he was expelled, it
was getting to be a hassle for him to fend them off without
actually telling them that he was really attracted to guys.
Everybody at the school knew that he had sex with other boys
and some of the girls. This was more true of most of the other
students there than not. So it was nothing unusual. Nobody
thought of him as gay. He was just Jake who was well hung and
loved to have sex with others. Ironically, the sexual morality
of the Catholic Church though the Jesuits completely by-passed
the kids in their care although the Jesuits didn't really know
that. They had a tolerance for a certain amount of sexual
experimentation among the students as "boys will be boys". Had
they known the extent of this sexual contact, they would have
been horrified and shocked.
Well, enough of this. Please give me some feedback on this.
3/24/2005 Vince wrote:
If you're still willing, I'd like to get your character
entered into NtTL. As things are laying out in my head right
now, Winna gets a message about her long lost nephew Jake on
her answering machine on Monday after their shopping
expedition (for a desktop computer) in the afternoon after the
morning's brief court session. (Winna exchanged her work day
from Monday to Tuesday so she could attend it with Jessie). At
work on Tuesday, Winna gets in contact with Jake's school and
arrangements begin for her to assume guardianship over the
boy. Mike has a truck now (needed when they both drive to the
airport) and the laundry room has since been cleaned out of
the husband's construction materials put into the garage. You
see. I have been getting Jake's arrival prepared.
Again, I really need you to write a brief for me so I can get
a handle on Jake's personality and reaction to meeting Winna,
M&J at the airport. What is he thinking and how he carries
himself in front of them at the airport, eating lunch there
and that 90 minute drive back to Havre where Jake rides with
M&J while Winna returns home alone in her truck. She agrees
to let the 'boys' get to know each other first and wants
Mike's special ability to Glean what he can from Jake and for
Jessie to peer into his head when they touch, though Jake
shares this ability in a small way and he can shield himself
from Jessie's peeking. Anyway, you really need to write this
first encounter for me. Not a story, per say. Just a bunch of
statements like:
* Jake meets the three at the arrival gate. A plump Indian
woman (his aunt) who hugs him while M&J shake his hand. This
is what Jake feels about meeting them: blah blah blah, his
first impressions and what he reveals to them by his face and
body language.
* When they eat lunch at the airport and Jake is questioned
by Winna about her sister, what happened to her and about
Jake's life alone at that school, Jake says: blah blah blah
and he feels blah blah blah. In the drive back home, Jake
looks out his window like a displaced soul but when Jessie
touches him he blah blah blah and when Mike asks him some
questions (what would they be?) he answers blah blah blah.
Reaching the house, his 'room' is set up in the laundry room
and Winna gets her fierce round of questioning the poor boy
where Jake acts blah blah blah.
Get the idea of what I need from you? From your past notes, I
know what Jake has gone through but that doesn't help me with
how he'll feel with Winna, M&J now in this new setting. Simple
statements from you about Jake's reactions, thinking process
and such are needed. You work in this profession by helping
troubled kids so present me with a troubled Jake who's been
displaced from the only stable life he's known at that school.
Please! Begin this now as my writing parts for NtTL will
quickly reach Jake's introduction at the airport. I can avoid
directly writing an account of Winna's talk with Jake on the
phone by having Winna return home from work Tuesday where she
gives an summary of what was said. Any pointers you can give
me about what Jake would say to an aunt he's never known on
the phone will help with that part of the story. Thanks.
4/12/05 Luke wrote:
Here's my first "Jake Letter" to you with new material
that you've requested recently. I thought I was going to
write this tomorrow when I have more time but I realized that
I've been thinking about Jake a lot particularly on my drive
to work and then home. So I thought I would use my lunch time
today to put things down on paper.
I feel frustrated because I know that I've already sent
you some suggestions about what might happen when Jake arrives
at the airport in Great Falls, Montana, meets Winna and the
guys, has lunch with them, and then on the drive back. But I
can't locate what I've already written to you. I looked
through all the letters that I've sent but didn't spot
anything. I'm guessing that the material is just imbedded in
another letter and I couldn't readily locate it.
TRANSFER OF GUARDIANSHIP OF JAKE: I talked with my colleague,
who is a clinical social worker and was involved in her
earlier career with foster care and adoptions. She said that
there may be different "rules" for the Indian Nations in this
matter but if this were occurring according to normal U.S.
rules, there would be three possibilities as follows:
1. Transfer of guardianship: This is the most likely thing
that would occur. When Judy brought Jake to the Rosebud
School, they would have had her sign a document transferring
guardianship of Jake to the school. This would have had to be
done in the South Dakota court but if the school did this a
lot - and I'm assuming that they did - the process would have
been very routine. So at this point, eleven years later, the
South Dakota court would have to now transfer the guardianship
over to Winna. My colleague said that it is also likely that
the Montana court would have to "sign off" on this since both
Winna and Jake would be residing in Montana however it is
possible that the transfer to Winna by the South Dakota court
would be enough. I think for the purposes of this story, this
would be OK.
2. Adoption: My colleague said that given Jake's age of 16 years
and the fact that it is not proven that Judy is dead and
nobody would know how to contact Jake's father in Mexico,
adoption is not really an option. He will be legally an
adult at age 18 and that's only two years away. So this is
not something that would be done.
3. Emancipated Minor: This is done in the case of a minor
under age 18 who is "emancipated" by the court to allow him to
live on his own. He would be legally an adult even though he
is not yet 18. This would also mean that he would not be
legally under Winna's control either and I do not think that
would be a good thing. Also Jake is not ready to move out on
his own. So this is not realistic.
So the most realistic possibility is transfer of
guardianship. That would need to be done in the South Dakota
court and the Rosebud School authorities could probably
arrange for this.
My colleague said that how it would happen is that Winna
would have to agree to guardianship. Then she or someone who
could act on her behalf (Mike?) would have to travel to South
Dakota, appear in court, and have the guardianship
transferred. The court would have originally assigned
guardianship to the Rosebud School. Now the school would go
back to court along with Winna to request a transfer of
guardianship. Again, it is possible that Winna would then
have to go to a court in Montana with her paperwork from South
Dakota to make the guardianship "official" in Montana but that
would be up to you whether you wanted it this complicated or
not.
My colleague said that what would go along with Jake would
be a school history (grades and courses taken), an official
school transcript (Jake would need this to enroll in his new
school in Montana), and a social work report outlining Jake's
history in terms of how he got to the school, how he did there
including medical and disciplinary history, what is known of
his parentage, and a discharge summary stating why he is
leaving the school. This would definitely go to the court but
Winna, once she got guardianship, would have the right to all
this information.
Also it is likely that Winna would have received a letter
telling her that Jake has to leave the school and asking that
she accept responsibility for him as "next of kin". It is
likely that Judy would have been required to list a "next of
kin" when she left Jake at the school. At that point, if she
named Winna, she would have given her address as wherever she
thought Winna was living at the time - probably at home. She
wouldn't have known a current phone number. Maybe the school
sent the letter about Jake to Winna with general delivery to
"Blackfoot Reservation, Havre, Montana" and it found its way
to Winna that way.
Maybe she would call the school and find out the details.
They might request her to come to the school to do the legal
stuff necessary to get guardianship for Jake and then take him
with her back to Montana. Maybe she would feel overwhelmed
by all this and ask Mike to act on her behalf, fly to South
Dakota, be briefed by the school about what happened, get the
various reports, go to court to execute the change of
guardianship to Winna, and then bring Jake back to Montana
with him. Obviously Winna would have to do some legal
document to give to Mike to give him the right to represent
her temporarily for this matter. Since you've done that with
several people in CA when dealing with several things, Vince,
you probably know how this might be done.
So my thought is that Mike would agree to this, drive to
the airport in Great Falls, and fly to South Dakota. Mike's
doing this would allow the story to reveal some of Jake's
background and his present behavior as Mike hears it at the
school. Also Mike may talk with Dr. Karl as a way of getting
information on Jake current medical condition (he's very
healthy!), the school's social worker to get his history and
background, and maybe to meet Charlie. Mike would Gease, of
course, that Dr. Karl felt very deeply for Jake and also sense
Charlie's love and adoration of Jake. Both Dr. Karl and
Charlie would be almost in despair at the prospect of losing
Jake; Mike would, of course, pick this up. So Mike is getting
both a "content reality" connection with Jake but is also
picking up the nuances and deeper meanings about what is not
being said but is being felt.
Once Mike has met these guys, it is possible in a future
story part that either or both of them might come to see Jake
in Havre. Maybe Charlie could eventually move into "Winna's
youth hostel" and become one of the young guys being taken
care of by Mike and Jessie. Maybe Dr. Karl would, once Jake
is a little older, divorce his wife and come to Montana to
find him. I suggested in an earlier discussion of this that
I think that Jake may well be a guy who ultimately loves an
older man. It would make sense given never really having had
a father for all intents and purposes. Dr. Karl certainly
loves him and Jakes loves him back although he isn't
completely aware of it yet. I'll leave it up to the "master"
to decide how this may work itself out although it would
certainly be a boon for the tribe to have another white guy
join them as the lover/husband/partner of one of their members
and who is also a medical doctor.
This would give Mike the chance to see where Jake had
lived for eleven years and also to at least briefly see Jake
in his "home environment". Maybe the social worker would tell
Mike "off the record" what they discovered that Jake was into
in terms of selling himself sexually to older men whereas they
wouldn't want to put that in writing in the record both for
Jake's sake and also for the school's sake.
Then Mike would have the flight back to Montana to talk
with Jake as well as Gease what's really going on inside of
him. And Jessie would be kept up on what's going on through
their Connection. The Connection would work even at that
great a distance, wouldn't it? Winna and Jessie could be
waiting at the Great Falls airport to greet Jake and Mike, go
to lunch, and drive back. Or, Mike could just drive back with
Jake to Winna's where there would be a meal and visiting
waiting.
One more thing that my colleague said is that it sounded to
her when I described some of Judy's history just before Jake
went to Rosebud School was that she would wonder if Jake had
"fetal alcohol syndrome". That would occur if Judy was
drinking heavily during her pregnancy. I told her that Judy
wasn't since she would have been living with Miguel's family
in Mexico during her pregnancy. And of course once she turned
to prostitution, alcohol, and drugs in CA before she took Jake
to Rosebud School, that would have affected her but would not
have physically affected Jake. My colleague also said that the
social worker at the school would have strongly recommended
psychotherapy for Jake when he got to Montana. In fact, it
probably would have been a formal recommendation in the
discharge summary. However, given what Mike and Jessie are
planning with Simon, Jake, and maybe Brian and Charlie, that
may be the "healing" that Jake needs.
How Jake will be when he goes to Winna: Jake is a sixteen
year old, muscular, bright, handsome boy of mixed racial
background. He is half Blackfoot and half Mexican. He was
essentially abandoned by his mother whom he probably believes
is dead. Fr. Jerry also suddenly left him when he was
transferred by his Jesuit Order to some other assignment. He
is being yanked away from Dr. Karl who had begun to open up
in Jake his first stirrings of love. And he has to leave
Charlie whom he loves and protects as a younger brother.
Charlie is also of mixed racial background being half
Cherokee and half Asian.
He will be really upset but probably hiding it underneath
an adolescent facade of indifference. Mike, through his
ability to see inside a person, would realize this duality and
it would draw him to Jake. Although the school would tell
Mike about what happened, they would probably also be quite
positive about Jake. In fact, my colleague said it is
"disgraceful" that they would so summarily dump Jake from the
only home he's really ever known. She said that it verges on
the unethical.
Jake will probably not be particularly sharing of what has
happened with Mike. Since Jake has something of this ability
to read somebody else, he would know that Mike is an honest
guy and also pick up something of the same sex issues. At
this point he would not know about Mike's and Jessie's
relationship nor really understand why Mike is Winna's
representative in dealing with all this. You would have to
come up with some way that Mike would eventually tell Jake
about Jessie and Mike's relationship with Jessie. Maybe that
could occur on the flight back to Montana or on the drive
from Great Falls to Havre.
First meeting Winna: Whenever it is that Jake first meets
Winna - whether at the airport or when he gets to her house -
he is going to be both wary of her and also probably quite
emotional. After all, this is Judy's sister who helped raise
her. He would have remembered his mother talking about Aunt
Winna. Maybe Winna physically resembles how he remembers his
mother. This is the first blood family members that he has
ever met. So maybe as Winna hugs him and welcomes him to their
house, he will feel tears coming to his eyes - tears that he
will try to suppress because he doesn't want to show weakness
to these folks. Also he would feel angry. "Why did it take
this long for you to come get me?" he might think. At this
point Winna would have to tell him what Mike has probably
already said - namely that she didn't even know that Judy had
a son until she got the letter from the Rosebud School about
him. They would probably both ask each other if either had
heard anything about Judy. The answer, alas, is "no".
Jake's first conversation with Winna: Whether this occurs
over lunch at the airport or at home, Jake would very likely
give a truthful but very sanitized version of life at the
school for him. He would truthfully tell of his early days
at the school. Mike would have known whatever was in the
social work report. Winna would start up with her relentless
questioning of Jake. Maybe Jake would begin to share something
of his life with his mother in CA and how things were going
but maybe not. He would probably feel ashamed of that part of
his background but fiercely protective of his mother. Maybe
Winna or somebody else might make a bad comment about Judy's
behavior before she took him to Rosebud School and Jake would
flare up in his mother's defense: "She did the best she could.
She took good care of me. She loved me. You don't understand
how tough things were." Winna would eventually tell Jake that
he would be staying in the laundry room which Mike and Jessie
have gotten ready for him. She would also probably talk about
needing to get him registered in school. He would be in the
10th grade- maybe about halfway through. His school transcript
from the Rosebud School show that he got very good grades
although several teacher's comments indicate that he is a
smart but not motivated student. Also, of course, Jake would
have meet Grandfather. Winna might tell Jake that Mike and
Jessie will be helping him learn the ropes in terms of living
in their house although Mike would take the lead on this
because Jessie would be busy with "shaman training" since
Grandfather may not have too much time to live. I'm guessing
that Simon would also be there and they are the same age.
Jake's mental state: Jake is probably pretty resilient
psychologically. After all, he's had to survive a lot. He
will quickly adapt to life at Winna's and at his new school.
However, he will eventually deal with his sex-for-money
behavior in conversations with Mike and Jessie or with Mike
alone and then communicated to Jessie through the Connection.
Jake will really be grieving for both Dr. Karl and Charlie
but won't realize that this is exactly what he is feeling.
Rather he will just be depressed and irritable. Mike, because
he can know what's going on inside Jake, will be able to help
him with this by getting him to talk about Dr. Karl and about
Charlie - maybe even holding him as he cries about this. Jake
will be stunned by these tender feelings because he has spent
most of his life defending himself against feeling "weak"
like this. He will have a lot to learn in terms of "learning
to love".
Jake and Simon: Of course, with Jake on the scene, Simon
now has another guy of his same age who knows a whole lot
about sex with another guy. I don't know exactly how they
would get to that with each other - I'll leave that up to the
"master's imagination" - but it would be exactly what Simon
longs for. And it wouldn't be illegal because both are sixteen
years of age! Jake will at first be defensive about his
sex-for-money past behavior ("I had to do it. I needed the
money. Nobody got hurt.") but may also realize that he had no
emotions connected with having sex except what he was just
beginning to feel with Dr. Karl. Jake will be a guy who
probably longs just to be held although he might not admit it
because it seems weak. Maybe it is just this kind of
nonsexual physical, tender contact that Mike and Jessie can
legitimately offer him. Jake will not be able to put together
sex and love for quite a while and not until he has really
grown through his own background.
OK. This enough for now. I think I've given you some
thoughts about what you asked in terms of Jake's arrival in
Montana. Let me know if you want some more reflections from
me on any of this and, if so, please direct me with specific
questions.
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End of file: JAKEOUT1.TXT My correspondence with Luke continues
Folder: A-STORY-OUTLINE-FOR-JAKE in JAKEOUT2.TXT