****************************************************************************
  *                               "NEW TO LOVE"                              *
  *                                 (part 18)                                *
  *                               by Vince Water                        6/04 *
  ****************************************************************************
  | Copyright 2002-2006 by Vince Water                        Corrected 3/06 |
  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

     I awaken late in the night feeling the need to take a piss. I gently
  pull from Jesse's arms and make my way to the bathroom. I don't bother
  with finding the light switch. The toilet lid is lifted and I'm letting go
  into the bowl. My aim is good. After flushing, I reach down my legs for my
  underwear but can't find them. Huh? A yawn forces its way through my mouth.
  And another. My head is less sleepy now. Oh. I went to bed naked with Jes.
  He had set all our clothes over that storage box in the bedroom.

     A smile comes to my lips when I remember the wonderful loving making from
  last night. I'm looking for a mirror but it's too dark to see in here.
  Where's that light switch? Ah, no matter. My hands run down both sides of
  me as I imagine how my lovers enjoyed looking over my body and much more.
  They've both fucked me. I'm slapping over my cheeks. A tingling comes from
  my cock that draws my hand to it. I'm pulling over myself for some quick
  thrills. My smile deepens. I also fucked both of them. They have such nice
  Indian butts!

     My cock stands up tall so I'm letting it go to save myself for tomorrow
  morning. We'll be at it again, the three of us making love as I've done with
  Owopspec and Wind-go-through-his-hair. It's wonderful to be in the middle.
  Running Water's secret name for me describes exactly where I am with them.
  Man! I've got two lovers again. That really blows my mind.

     I leave the bathroom. Such longing fills me to return to Jesse's arms.
  His hold of my heart is strong. I love Running Water too but as my brother.
  Well. He's also that Indian warrior I've fantasized about as a boy who
  takes me for his own. Chris actually lived that. Owopspec had stolen him
  away from the fort to live with him amongst the Indians. He was well loved.

     My body is trembling from the cold. I'm about to tip toe into the bedroom
  when a hand grasps my shoulder, startling me bad.

     "Can you come with me?"

     I turn my head sharply at Hawk Flying Over. It's too dark to make him out.
  I find my voice. "Sure. Where are we going?" No reply. The man takes me by
  the hand and leads me into his bedroom. I come fully awake. We reach the
  foot of his bed. Hey. He's not thinking that we're gonna be doing something.
  Is he?

     "I need your help with something."

     "With what?" I ask. The man gently turns me around and pushes over my
  shoulder to have me lay down. I'm scooting over his bed but remain sitting,
  waiting for him to explain what he wants with me. The man pulls his blanket
  over us.

     "It's not what you think," assures Hawk Flying Over.

     "Then what am I doing here?" My hand had brushed against his waist so I
  know that he's naked. He's not answering me. He presses down over my chest
  to get my lying down. I give in to him when gleaning that it isn't sex he
  wants from me. There's no need in him to. Maybe he just wants to talk.

     I'm startled when Hawk Flying Over pins me down over his bed. He's getting
  on top of me. I grasp his arms, struggling to free myself. "Let me go!"

     "Mike. I'm not going to hurt you. Relax."

     Hawk Flying Over rubs over my face to calm me. For a moment, I was afraid
  that he was attacking me or something. I'm not gleaning that he's mad. The
  lower half of his body presses over mine in warmth. He has to be noticing
  that I'm hard. His cock isn't. His hands release my shoulders when lowering
  himself completely onto me. Our chests meet. Is this man trying to find out
  if he's gay from our naked embrace?

     "I'm not too heavy for you?"

     "No." I'd blurted that word out. The man digs his knees into the bed
  while squeezing my legs between his. Our cocks press together. I spread my
  arms over the bed because I'm not gonna hold him back. We're not lovers.
  "What am I doing here?" The man lowers his face to my neck and whispers.

     "Can you hold me for a while?"

     The man is shivering. Not from the cold or sexual excitement. I think
  something is really bothering him and he needs to be comforted. My hands
  lift from the bed to hold him as he's asked. I'm feeling awkward though.
  What does he want with me? We don't need to be hugging if he's only gonna be
  talking about things. "What is it? What's wrong?" Hawk Flying Over doesn't
  answer me.

     I'm gonna have to be patient. We're friends so I'll wait until he's ready
  to spit it out. Something mite powerful must be botherin' him. I don't think
  it's about me being with Jes and Running Water. He'd seen us doing it
  together at the hot tub. Instead of being mad, he was excited so maybe he
  wants to be with me too. I don't think we should. It's better if we remain
  friends 'cause he's unsure of himself. Being gay that is.

     I grasp Hawk Flying Over's shoulders. His dick remains limp against mine
  so my thinkin' about him not wanting sex from me is right but he's not
  telling me what's troubling him. We remain still under his blanket. I'm
  holding him as he's asked. Waiting.

     My hands are massaging his shoulders. That just happened on its own. It
  must feel good for him 'cause his breathy moans are blowing against my neck.
  No words are forthcoming to explain what he wants from me. I'm trying not to
  get too excited by having this naked Indian on top of me. My cock remains
  stiff. I prevent my butt from humping so we won't belly rub as much as I
  want. He hasn't taken me to his bed for love making.

     I try coming up with something to say but the words remain in my mouth.
  They would have been clumsy. It's too bad we can't connect our thoughts. He
  wants something from me. I can't glean what that is.

     My hands make their way down Hawk Flying Over's back. I'm enjoying his
  body but questions crowd my head. He isn't telling me what's going on so
  I'll go with what I know. This man claims that he isn't gay yet we've done
  stuff together. His cock is only a little hard. Hmm. Maybe I'm being tested
  by him to see if I'll jump into bed with any guy to have sex with. I won't!
  My love is only for Jes-ee-ah and Running Water! I won't slut around.

     "Your hands feel good, Mike."

     I release a tense breath. My cock is so stiff against him that it urges
  me to pull over his butt. My hands have nearly reached it from massaging
  down his back. I rest them over his hips instead.

     "You can touch me down there if you want."

     I reluctantly grasp the man's cheeks. They're warm and moist against my
  palms. Soft, too. A surge goes through my cock. The blanket covering us
  tickles against the back of my hands. I'm noticing how hot it's become. What
  am I doing here? Does he really want me to touch him there or is he only
  trying to keep me in his bed? I'm confused by the conflicting signals coming
  from this man. He's not trying to have sex with me yet he wants me to fondle
  his butt. I Reach out to Ask Jes what he thinks is going on with his uncle.
  He knows him better than I. No reply. My lover is fast asleep.

     This is a really weird situation. I'm half thinking of jumpin' out of bed
  if Hawk Flying Over doesn't tell me what he wants from me! I'll wait for a
  bit longer.

     This man's body feels nice. His cock has swollen up some but it's not
  stiff like mine. I'm panting for breath from being so excited. My forefinger
  runs along the crack of his butt. I rub over his hole (no reaction) and
  reach his balls. I'm tickling over them. The man releases a moan to my neck.
  He digs his hands into the bed to grip my shoulder blades. It becomes a
  tight hug. I struggle for breath until he notices my distress. His arms
  loosen their hold around me.

     I notice that I'm pulling over his butt. Mine is humping against the bed.
  My cock mashes against this man's for thrills but he doesn't join into it.
  Guilt fills me.

     "Can you just hold me?" whispers Hawk Flying Over.

     "Yeah. Of course." I remove my naughty hands from the man's ass. My palms
  flatten against his back in slow rubbing circles. His cock hasn't stiffened.
  I'm scolding myself for playing with his butt when I should be acting like a
  friend to him. He's troubled by something and has sought out my help but he
  needs to tell me how I can do that!

     "Hawk Flying Over?" I whisper. "Why are we... What can I do to help?"
  The man lifts his head from my neck to look down at me. It's too dark to see
  his face.

     "I've read that the headhunters of Borneo place the skull of an enemy
  warrior between a boy's legs. Power filled that youth's loins from it."

     Why did Hawk Flying Over tell me that? I'm swallowing in my dry throat
  when I glean his intent. "Those island aborigines must have been performing
  a coming of age rite for the boy."

     "Yes. I've seen a picture of a naked teen with a skull between his legs."

     I'm beginning to understand what Hawk Flying Over wants from me. We've
  done things together in the hot tub. He's envious of my balls. I lower my
  left hand down his sweaty back, palm over his cheeks and gather his balls
  into my hand. The man spreads his legs further apart. My fingers reach down
  for my balls and lift them up to his.

     "You know that my seed is weak."

     He means when he shot a clear liquid to my chest. It was a boy's release.
  "I've seen."

     "Maybe if I were given an empowering rite similar to that Dayak boy, my
  sperm will thicken into a man's."

     Is that what he's hoping I can do for him? "You should consult a doctor
  about it."

     "I have. He said that my balls remain stuck in early puberty. There's no
  medical reason to explain why seed won't fill them. I have groin hair and
  my voice cracked when I was fourteen. Most of my body has developed towards
  manhood. You've seen my dick. It's not thick like Running Water's or even
  Jes-ee-ah's. A good length but sperm won't shoot from it."

     "I'm sorry about that." My hand tightens around our balls.

     "You probably think this is silly but I'm hoping that you can pass some
  of your strength into me."

     "No. I don't think it's silly. My former self learned that there are
  mystical powers in this world that your People Call upon from spirits. I've
  seen this myself from all the goings on of late. Have you asked your shaman
  to perform an empowering rite for you?"

     "He-who-runs-up-mountains did a Seeking on my behalf. That's a rite where
  our shaman Asks for a vision from our Father to guide him in healing. He
  told me that the man who Running Water loves would lay with me to Pass male
  strength into my loins." A long pause. "I tried that with Ron."

     My eyes widen. That's what I gleaned about the two of them being together
  in the hot tub. It wasn't just to beat off.

     "He tried to fill my balls with his manhood strength. We sat close to rub
  our loins together and Ron used what he shot to empower my balls. Yet my seed
  remained weak in spite of performing that rite. Ron suggested that he fill
  my asshole."

     "Did he?" I'm waiting with bated breath.

     "No, Mike. My shaman said that Running Water's lover would lay with me.
  Not fuck me! I'd thought that man was Ron."

     "It's me!" I gasp. "Running Water loves me now."

     "That's what I'm thinking. Unlike Ron, you possess power that few of my
  tribesmen have witnessed. You can share thoughts with Jes-ee-ah. It was from
  your love that you've made him whole. I hope that you'll help me too."

     My thoughts are in a flurry. Hawk Flying Over's friendship with Ron had
  probably come about because he hoped that man would help him. It developed
  into a strong platonic relationship where they shared interests (such as
  astronomy), explored the reservation together to visit its sacred sites and
  they simply enjoyed each other's company. Ron was a good friend to him but
  he was very lustful. That's why he wanted to fuck Hawk Flying Over but I'm
  glad he was denied. Jesse gave in to that white man's need for conquest.
  I'm not being mean by thinking that. Ron was a horny bastard, just like me,
  yet whereas we are quick to give our seed, he held back his heart. I don't.
  If this man in my arms wants me, I would let him. His heart is good.

     "So you see, Mike. I'm not gay. I was trying to fulfill the rite my shaman
  asked me to perform with Running Water's lover. It has to be you."

     I revert into Siksika. "I am Short Hair. That man I was is no more. If it
  is within my power to Pass my strength into you, I will." I'm reaching down
  for my cock between us and aim it at his balls. Hawk Flying Over gives me a
  tight squeeze. He accepts how I'm gonna do that.

     My hands run up along his cheeks and I reach between them to clutch our
  loins. I'm pulling on his butt with my right hand. Mine begins humping over
  the bed. It's a strange sensation to be poking into his balls. That's where
  I'll release myself but will that Pass my manhood strength to him? Ron has
  already tried. I'm enjoying the thrills building in my cock. He clings to me
  like a lover but his body remains still. No humping from his butt. I start
  feeling guilty by having sex with this man when he'll get nothing in return.
  Only some wet balls. Where's that power he spoke of that I'm supposed to
  possess? My eyes shut tight in prayer. 'Please! Let me help this man...'

     Heat fills my left hand. It burns like a raging fire and a Voice fills my
  head. I'm Asked something. Not in words, but I understand what the cost will
  be to me. I'm giving my consent. That spirit within fills me with Power. My
  cock stabs into the man's balls again and again. Our male bodies are trying
  to connect yet our Joining will come from within. There's a painful twisting
  felt from my balls. A release!

     A roaring fills my ears. I think I've passed out for a moment. I'm about
  to ask Hawk Flying Over if he noticed anything but I keep my mouth shut.
  He's panting against my neck. His cock is stiff along our groins while mine
  becomes limp. It feels sticky between our balls. Yup. It happened.

     Hawk Flying Over starts snoring. Huh? I consider pulling him off me so
  that we can sleep more comfortably. His weight on top is getting difficult
  to bear. It's really hot under the blanket. When my hands lift to the man's
  shoulders, he calls out to someone. It's a woman's name... Sylvia. He's
  muttering words to his dead wife asking her not to leave. I tighten my arms
  around his back to comfort him. He returns to snoring.

     We lay together in each other's arms for the rest of the night.


     An alarm clock goes off. I fling my hand out to quiet it but there's a
  heavy weight above pinning me against the bed. Oh. It's Hawk Flying Over. He
  turns that alarm off. He peers down at me with a yawn filling his mouth. I
  see his shy grin.

     "Good morning."

     I join him in yawning. My sleepy head is slow to recall why I'm in this
  man's bed but then I remember. I'm peering deep in Hawk Flying Over's eyes.
  "It happened last night."

     "What did?"

     My eyes become unfocused when I explain. "Grandfather Passed the spirit
  from the Nahtoya Ponokah Nah-tos Kits tah kee into Jes-ee-ah and me. It Spoke
  to me last night about what must be done."

     "To help me?" asks Hawk Flying Over with a trembling voice.

     "Yes. I've Passed my male strength to you." My voice becomes a whisper.
  "But at a cost..."

     "What cost?"

     I'm regretting telling him that part. "It's no big loss for me. You can
  find a wife now and give her your child. I won't ever be doing that myself."

     "Short Hair. I'm not sure I understand. Tell me. Please!"

     Tears fill my eyes. I'm turning to the pillow so that I can hide my weak
  display from him.

     "Are you saying that you've lost your male strength by giving it to me?"

     I'm nodding. Tears run down my nose and wet the pillow. I don't know why
  I'm feeling this way.

     "You sacrificed for me?"

     I breathe in noisily through my nose. "Why not. I'm gay so... I won't be
  putting my baby in anyone. Just sticking into guy's butts." Hawk Flying Over
  presses his face against mine. It's sorta like a kiss of love but without
  using lips. I'm squeezing him hard in my arms not wanting to let go! He holds
  me for a while.


     The tears have dried from my face. I'm feeling a little better about it.
  Hawk Flying Over slowly rises to his knees over me. I see the longing in his
  face but it's not for me. Our blanket is thrown back. The man looks down at
  his balls for a change in them. They remain small as grapes that are yet to
  swell with juice. I Sense that this man will ripen.

     "Do you believe it happened?" asks Hawk Flying Over in a serious voice.

     I peer up at the man. "Yes. I swear to you that it did." He accepts my
  words. He scoots himself over me until he's sitting on my dick. He wiggles
  his butt.

     "Short Hair. Do you want to do anything?"

     He's offering to let me fuck him or something. "Gaining your friendship is
  more than enough for me." Hawk Flying Over looks deep in my eyes and nods.

     "We are already friends."

     I glean that this man was testing me. He didn't let Ron fuck him because
  he's not really gay. We smile at each other knowingly. I lift my arms into
  the air and stretch. A yawn fills my mouth. "I should be getting back to bed
  before they miss me."

     "You won't tell them that you were with me last night."

     "Hawk Flying Over. We didn't ah... make love. It was a Passing Rite. If
  you want, I'll not tell Running Water about it but there are no secrets
  between Jesse and I."

     "My cousin might not understand." He goes deep into thought. "I never told
  him about Ron and me..."

     "I don't think he would mind. He's come to terms with what his lover did
  with Jesse and I have forgiven that man. He was only human. In death, his
  spirit acted for the good of our tribe by guarding over the Power Bundle in
  his trailer until Jesse and I found it. He has Flown to the Above."

     I'm given a strange expression from Hawk Flying Over. He's in awe of what
  I've told him. These past two weeks have been a real eye opener for me too
  that's made me grow beyond who I was. I believe in Indian magic now.

     "Mike? You are not who I thought you were. Forgive me, Short Hair."

     I see shame in this Indian's face. "As Mike, you may have had reason not
  to trust that white guy. He lusted for your butt as Ron did." I'm reaching
  down to goose his ass. "Save this for your next wife to enjoy when you're
  putting a baby in her." My hands pull over his cheeks as a woman would when
  they're making love. I release a pretend wail that comes at climax. "Ahh!"

     The man laughs. Something unspoken passes between us that affirms our
  friendship. We grin at each other. He lifts himself off me so I can get out
  of his bed. To my credit, my dick didn't get hard even when it was mashed
  under this Indian's nice ass.

     I'm turning to Hawk Flying Over before going out the door. He gives me a
  warm grin. His eyes are filled with gratitude for what I've done to help him.
  I return his smile.

     After making a quick stop in the bathroom to piss and clean my butt, I
  return to bed with my two lovers. They're both asleep. Running Water is
  laying on his side at the left side of bed. He's snoring soundly. Jes is
  lying on his back. There's just enough room for me to slip in between them.
  I'm being careful not to wake them.

     Our blanket is drawn up to my chin. My lovers continue to snore. I'm in
  awe of what happened last night and realize that this is only the second time
  that I've Heard from the spirit dwelling in us. It is of Power. My sacrifice
  wasn't that much. I'll still be able to express my love to another man with
  my dick even if my release is that of a boy's. I reach down to finger my
  balls. Are they feeling smaller?

     My eyes close. I've gotten some rest with Hawk Flying Over but his weight
  over me during the night has my ribs aching. A yawn fills my mouth. I try
  getting to sleep.


     I'm awakened when Jesse snuggles against my breast. My left arm goes
  around him to draw him closer. I yawn. He gives me a sly grin in return.

     :Where were you last night?:

     I peer shyly at my lover and whisper, "I'll tell you about it later."

     "Okay."

     Jesse gives me a puzzled look but he doesn't try peeking in my head. I'm
  smiling at him. :You are so beautiful!:

     :Aren't guys supposed to be handsome? Women are beautiful.:

     I'm chuckling. :You have long hair like a woman.: Jes threatens to bite my
  tit. :Alright! I meant that you look cute.:

     :Now you're saying that I'm a cute looking boy.:

     :You are, my love.: I think back to when I first saw Jesse in my class.
  He seemed so shy sitting next to his mom. I'd thought he was a teenager and
  scolded myself for thinking that we could get together. Yet we have.

     Jes wets his lips. He turns his face slightly so we won't bump noses
  when we kiss. Our lips move against each other. It's wonderful! He even
  sticks his tongue into my mouth that I suck on. My tongue goes in his mouth.
  We become passionate from our kissing that brings a swift rising to our
  dicks. I turn onto my left side to face my lover. My butt presses against
  Running Water's, reminding me that he's in bed with us.

     :Do you think he'll regret what we did with him when he was drunk?:

     :You mean when we fucked each other as one body?: Asks Jesse.

     :Yeah.: I remember Jes reaching back to enjoy the wild humping to his
  uncle's ass when that man fucked me. He'd held his nephew's butt in turn.
  It's considered incest for them as blood relatives to have sex together.
  Well, they were only holding each other's nakedness with no passing of sperm
  to each other. My butt got that from them.

     :Running Water is more experienced with being gay than us even when
  adding those three years from your former self when he was with Owopspec. My
  uncle knows what he's doing, love. If he wasn't drunk, it would have been
  harder to bring down those walls in him that was keeping him from being with
  you as much as he wanted. His heart spoke truly. He tried denying it from
  the reasoning in his head.:

     :My brother fears if others in the tribe learn that I'm fucking around
  with him as well.:

     :Yes. It is a concern. People are going to find out that we're together. I
  want them to, love. We're not ashamed of being gay so let our happiness prove
  that it's a good thing. They'll see that my mom supports us. All their wrong
  ideas about us kind of guys will spill from their heads. What my uncle fears
  is that they'll not see commitment in you for one mate if they find out that
  you're with him too. A lot of folks think that's what's really bad about
  being gay. Fucking around with lots of men just for sex.:

     :I'm expressing my love for both of you.:

     :I know that, love.:

     Jesse and I have stopped kissing. We were belly rubbing towards climax
  but ended up Talking instead.

     "That... a quiet ending."

     "Huh?" Running Water has muttered something. I release Jesse and turn
  around to hug my brother from behind. "What did you say?"

     "That was a quiet ending. Did you cum?"

     "No. We ruined it by talking."

     "That happens sometimes." Running Water laughs. "I remember a time when
  Ron was fucking me and I asked him something about his car, if he was going
  to replace the rear left tire. That led us to talk about other things and
  his dick softened in me. I felt so stupid afterwards for opening my mouth
  during love making that denied its fulfillment."

     "The two of you had other opportunities to." Running Water releases a
  long sigh.

     "Yes. We did." A pause. "That seems like such a long time ago."

     My brother didn't say that out of sadness. He's able to remember Ron now
  without mourning over his loss or hating him for what he's done with Jes.

     "A wonderful man loves me now," says Running Water.

     "Yeah. You're my loving brother. I'm glad that we can express that in
  every way." I reach down the front of this man's body to find his cock. It's
  hard. I give it a few lusty pulls while rubbing myself against his cheeks.

     "Jes-ee-ah. May I borrow your lover for a moment?"

     "Sure. Anytime, uncle."

     Jes giggles behind me. He's about to tell Running Water that his butt is
  going to get raped when I scold, "Enough talk!" Running Water laughs. He
  humps his ass against me and I'm feeling the strong urge to take it. My hand
  tightens around the man's cock. I hear him spit a few times. He reaches his
  left hand back to the crack of his butt to wet it. My hard cock is led
  between his cheeks. I feel the resistance to his hole in swallowing my knob.
  With a firm pull over my butt, the man forces me to penetrate him. I'm
  sticking into slimy tightness. Ahh! I'm groaning out with lust.

     Jesse sits at my backside. I hear a jar being opened.

     :Lift up your left leg so I can put some Vaseline in you, love.:

     My knee sticks in the air when bending my leg. I feel Jesse fingering
  into my hole. Unlike Running Water's well broken in ass, mine needs to be
  lubed up with more than just spit. I'm grimacing from the strange sensation.

     Relief fills me when Jes pulls his finger out. The jar is closed. I flinch
  from his small bites to my cheeks that has Running Water groaning out. My
  cock had stuck him deep.

     "Easy there, cowboy. You can ride me hard after I've stretch some."

     "Sorry..." Jes is kissing over my butt, tickling me. I'm trying to keep
  still so my cock won't hurt Running Water more. Hmm. Mine isn't that big.
  I've Seen from Jesse how much bigger Ron's cock is. Man! How did my lover
  fit that man's all up his little butt?

     :You know how Ron prepared me.: Answers Jesse.

     Oh. I didn't guard my thoughts from him. We relive how that man had
  prepared his butt before it was taken. Ron enjoyed rimming my lover with
  lots of deep tonguing and spit. That drove Jesse wild. He endured the brief
  pain from penetration that turned to pleasure when Ron's stabs massaged his
  prostate. I'm not used to that intense sensation myself. Jes doesn't have
  that reach with his dick to hit upon my squaw spot but Running Water does.
  Maybe after he's fucked me a bunch of times, I'll turn into a butt slut like
  my lover.

     Jesse comes up along my back. I hear him spitting to his hand between
  trembling breaths. In the next moment, his wet dick is slipping between my
  cheeks. I'm still bending my left leg to open my butt. His knob pushes
  against my asshole. A deep breath fills my lungs and is released. I'm trying
  to relax myself back there. Jes gently enters me. There's little pain much
  to my surprise. Maybe I've been broken in last night.

     The three of us huddle closer together. I'm grasping Running Water's
  chest while Jesse pulls over my hip to stick his dick all the way in me.
  We're repeating what we did last night.

     :You see, love. My uncle isn't regretting what we did with him at the hot
  tub. Enjoy his butt while I'm enjoying yours.:

     The corners of my lips lift in a grin. :Yeah. That's why I'm called
  Middle Loved.: Jes cradles my head in the crook of his right arm. A strong
  hand pulls over my butt. I feel my deep stab into Running Water's butt while
  Jesse's dick nearly slips from mine. A rhythm begins with the swinging of
  my hips back and forth. I'm impaled from behind while the Indian in front
  takes my lusty stabs. What a sensation!

     I bury my face in Running Water's long hair. That's a worthy quality in a
  savage, I'm thinkin' to myself but I scold myself. Chris thought that way of
  Owopspec. This is a modern Indian in my arms.

     I'm turning my head to breathe in cool air. My nose fills with the musky
  sweat scent from male bodies. It enflames me towards fulfillment! More than
  just from my cock, joy bursts in my heart to be loved by these two men.

     My body becomes frenzied with its back and forth motion between theirs. I
  can't believe the thrills that comes from getting my ass fucked while I'm
  fucking a man at the same time! Jesse begins moaning. He's close to cumming.
  I rush to join him in his uncle's butt.

     My cock slips out. I stab back in Running Water's asshole that has him
  groaning. Our bodies aren't close enough. I reach back for Jesse's left
  hand and bring it around to his uncle's groin. :Hold him there. Okay?:

     I become tightly trapped between their bodies. My cock remains deep in the
  butt in front of me while Jesse's dick stays in mine. I'm humping wildly.
  Running Water wails out like a squaw. He's enjoying what I'm doing to his
  ass. A deep breath is held in me. That deepens the thrills in my cock to the
  point of explosion. I'm cumming! My few quick spurts fill Running Water.
  Jesse's dick gets squeezed by my asshole that sends him over the edge. He
  cries out in his high-pitched voice. I'm feeling his squirts. We Share in
  the male pleasure of this moment. It is very sweet.

     I'm panting against Running Water's shoulder. My left hand drops from his
  chest to find his cock. Jes already has it in hand.

     :He's so big!:

     :You've been pulling over it?: I Ask.

     :He's been pulling over my butt!: Answers Jesse.

     Running Water flinches against me. He realizes that both of us are
  handling his cock. I glean that he's not comfortable having his nephew
  touching him there. The man pulls his butt off my cock, turns, and faces me
  with animalistic hunger in his eyes. I embrace his urgent need. The man's
  arms rush around me with stabs going to my cock. He gives me a timid kiss.
  I respond with a return kiss to show him that we can express our love in
  every way. Jes Sends me his approval.

     I'm losing myself in our kisses that have become passionate. We tongue.
  When Running Water pulls back to take a breath, I notice that Jesse is no
  longer behind me.

     :Can I have some kisses too, love?:

     I'm turning my head and see Jesse positioning himself over us. His face
  comes down with his lips reaching for mine. I kiss him. Running Water's nose
  tickles against my right cheek so I break from Jes to kiss my brother. He
  continues to belly rub with me. Our butts get squeezed within Jesse's legs.

     When Running Water gasps for breath, I return to kissing Jes. Ahh! I
  can't seem to get enough of these two Indians. My cock stabs forward to
  answer my brother's love blows. When I pull back, I'm feeling Jesse's dick
  slipping between ours. They're mashed together when we stab forward again.
  Running Water flinches in my arms.

     "It's alright, Path Finder. Let him join us." I've asked this of Running
  Water by uttering his secret name. He seems to be deciding the matter. I
  give him a passionate kiss then ask, "Am I not Middle Loved?"

     "Yes. You are loved by us both," answers Running Water.

     My brother's kisses become subdued. I turn my head to give Jesse a kiss.
  :Maybe you should get off. Your uncle isn't comfortable with this...:
  Running Water is saying something.

     "I've named you All Heart, nephew. I'm reluctance for having your love in
  this way."

     I'm not sure if Running Water is rejecting his nephew or not. I give the
  man a long deep kiss. He responds by resuming his stabs against me. His right
  arm pulls from my back to wrap around Jesse's back. I eagerly pull my right
  arm from around him to hold Jes. He's allowing our three way belly rub!

     We're stabbing each other with fierce love. I take turns kissing them
  until I'm forced to catch my breath. Jesse peers down at Running Water.
  They exchange glances where it's decided that they're not gonna kiss. That's
  where they've drawn the line, I glean.

     I give Running Water a kiss, mash my cock against theirs and turn my head
  to give Jesse a kiss. My hand lowers down his back to grasp his flexing ass.
  I'm enjoying it. To my surprise, Running Water also joins me by holding Jes
  there. That enflames my lover to drive his dick between ours in sweet male
  expression.

     :Can you cum, love?:

     :I don't know. It feels good trying to!: I'm gasping for breath and am
  forced to blow through my nose when Running Water kisses me long and hard.
  He's getting close to release. I know this by the way his cock has stiffened
  and its quick violent stabs. He sticks his tongue into my mouth. I'm sucking
  on it and give him my tongue to suck on. My balls tingle in warning. I have
  to pull away from the man to cry out. Ahh! I'm squirting a few times. He
  joins me by wetting to my belly and growls out like a bear. Jesse's butt is
  humping wildly under my palm. I Sense his nearing climax, turn to him for a
  kiss and that gets my lover to explode. He cries out like a boy.

     The three of us Share this moment of male ecstasy.

     Our heated bodies have slowed against each other. We pant for breath. I
  see the male relief shining in Running Water's eyes and find this same
  thing in Jesse's eyes. I wearily smile back at them. They peer at each
  other without shame or regret for what's happened. We're all guys. No baby
  is gonna come from it. At least not from me, I realize with sadness.

     Running Water pulls his arms from us and lays over his back. Jesse does
  the same on my left side. I'm dropping to the bed to rest as well. Joy
  bursts in my heart. "I love you both so much."

     My nose fills with our male sweetness. I hold their hands and mutter my
  secret name under my breath, "Middle Loved". That's where I was in my
  relationship with Owopspec and Wind-go-through-his-hair. Running Water
  squeezes my right hand. I pass the strength of his love to Jesse by
  squeezing his hand. I'm in the middle of their love for me in this second
  chance at life. Funny how things repeat themselves.

     We lay together for a while to enjoy the afterglow that comes from
  making love.


     A sixth sense draws my attention to the bedroom door. I sit up. A voice
  is heard coming from the hall.

     "I'm leaving for work now," says Hawk Flying Over. "I've cooked up some
  scrambled eggs that I've left on the table."

     "Thank you," I call out. A wry smile crosses my lips. I'm thinking that
  Hawk Flying Over was standing outside the door listening to us making love.
  I turn to Running Water. He's not revealing embarrassment on his face. My
  eyes are drawn to the wet streaks over his belly that rises and falls with
  his breaths. Most of what we shot had gone to him. A line of thick white cum
  (from Jesse) and a watery one. I rush to look down at myself and find
  Running Water's sperm against my belly. There's none on Jesse's belly but I
  wasn't expecting to find any because he was on top of us. I'm looking back
  at Running Water's brown belly. My release to him is that watery streak that
  reminds me of what I did for Hawk Flying Over last night. Anguish squeezes
  my heart. What will Jesse think about my loss of manhood?

     :What is it, love?:

     I turn onto my left side to face Jes and my thoughts open for him to Read.
  My lover grows wide in the eyes. I'm drawn into his arms for a tight hug.

     :It's alright, Mike! Your sacrifice doesn't prevent you from making love.
  I'm not feeling bad for what you did. You've helped Hawk Flying Over.:

     "I'm going to take a shower," says Running Water.

     "Alright, uncle. I've left your clothes over there on them boxes."

     My face is buried in Jesse's neck so I don't see my brother leaving.
  I've heard the bedroom door closing behind him. I'm clinging to my lover.
  :I should have asked you before I did it!:

     :I'm not mad, love. Grandfather had foreseen what you would do for my
  uncle. Because of your sacrifice, Hawk Flying Over can act as a man with
  his next wife to put his baby in her. What you did for him... I love you
  even more because of it! You're no less a man to me, Short Hair.:

     Jesse wipes the tears from my eyes. He kisses me tenderly. All my fears
  about what he'd think about me has flown from my heart. I'm still a man.

     :We'll honor Hawk Flying Over's request by not speaking of this to
  Running Water.:

     "Not to anyone!" My loud words startle me. Jes gives me an understanding
  nod to keep silent about this thing. Not for his uncle's sake but mine. I'm
  gonna need some time to deal with this.

     "Mike. You did a good thing for Hawk Flying Over. Let's promise each other
  that if we face something that could change how we are to each other whether
  by ritual or... being with someone, we'll ask the other first."

     I'm nodding in agreement. "I agree with your spoken words and swear to."
  Jes rapidly blinks his eyes. Oh. I'd spoken my oath to him in the old tongue.

     "I swear to uphold what I've said," says Jesse.

     Our kiss seals what we've promised each other. We know that what happens
  to one of us affects the other because of our strong connection. That's true
  even in death. Grandfather told us that we'll go Above together.

     :Love. I won't deny anything you feel you must do. You have a good heart.:

     :But I lack the wisdom to guide it.:

     :We're both young and have much to learn. If we consult with each other
  first, we'll know that we're doing the right thing no matter how it affects
  our relationship.:

     :I won't ever stop loving you!:

     Jesse smiles. :I know, love.:

     I'm given the impression that he's not telling me something.

     "I had a dream last night," whispers Jesse.

     We sit up in bed. Jes grasps both of my hands and peers deep into my eyes.
  He's gonna tell me something important. I know it.

     "You are to follow Raven this day."

     "What... What do you mean?" Jesse's eyes flare. He's Seen something!
  Before I can ask my lover about it, he's getting out of bed and stretching
  himself with his back to me. My eyes fall to his cute little behind. It's a
  boy's shape. I'm realizing how much I share Christopher's attraction for
  youths. He was drawn by their small slim bodies, innocent grins and found it
  easy to coax Indian boys into enjoying sex acts with him. That may have been
  true in the past, I'm scolding myself. It's not permitted today.

     Running Water comes into the bedroom. He looks in my direction but heads
  for the boxes Jes is standing in front of. The man has just showered. He's
  handed his clothes along with a pair of silver bracers. They exchange
  glances. My eyes are drawn to their brown butts. Running Water's cheeks are
  flatter but they're a man's fuller shape. I get out of bed to join them.

     "Go take a shower."

     Running Water leans over to give my body a sniff. He's smiling wickedly.
  I'm looking down at myself and see his cum collecting in my groin hair. He
  fondly rubs over my left tit. I goose his butt. That's where I've released
  my love to him earlier and he knows it. The man shyly glances at his nephew.

     "Looks like my butt escaped getting raped this morning," teases Jesse.

     I'm slapping over my fucked backside with pride. Then I'm turning to Jes
  while pointing my cock at him. I eye his cute ass. "We'll see about that."
  Jesse streaks out of the bedroom while protecting his butt with his hand.
  Running Water joins me in laughter. I look low at the man. He slaps over his
  backside in answer to my unspoken question.

     "You're still inside me, Middle Loved."

     "My butt is filled too." I see Running Water's eyes on me there and a
  thrill goes through my cock. He drops his clothes over a box. I'm expecting
  him to join his love with Jesse's inside me but he turns around instead.
  Our butts press together.

     "Do you feel a sense of completion by giving yourself that way to someone
  you love?"

     "Yeah." My hands reach down for the man's ass. He rubs over mine.

     "That's how I felt after Ron..." Running Water struggles to regain his
  voice. "He never allowed himself to experience that joy for himself."

     We hold hands and rub our butts together. I'm reminded of that sick poem
  Ron had written in his diary. That man never really understood. We do.

     I notice Jesse standing in the door. Two towels are tucked under his
  arm. Running Water steps away from me. I'm turning to my brother and watch
  him get dressed. When he struggles with pulling up his jeans, I'm grasping
  his arm to help steady him. Pain blares from his face.

     "What's wrong?" I ask.

     "I need to get some coffee in me."

     "You're feeling hung over?" Jes reveals concern on his face too.

     "A little. I'll try to get some sleep on the way back to Havre. I've been
  scheduled to work at Roy's today. At eleven."

     "No problem. I'll drive you there." Running Water buttons up his shirt.

     "Don't keep Jes-ee-ah waiting. Go take your shower."

     I'm following Jes to the bathroom. He doesn't comment about seeing us
  rubbing butts together. There's no need for me to explain it. He understands
  that rite we performed affirming our gayness.

     We rush with our shower so as to not keep Running Water waiting. I'm
  feeling hungry this morning. After rinsing off, we linger under the shower
  to kiss. It feels so good to be holding my lover!

     :Yes, love! And you haven't lost any part of your manhood that can't be
  expressed in my arms or with my uncle.:

     I'm looking down at myself. My cock is standing proud along my groin. It
  still performed in Running Water's ass though my release was that of a boy.
  He didn't notice when I shot only a seminal fluid to his belly. Jesse pats
  over my butt. Yeah. I've given that part of myself as a gay man to my lover.
  His seed won't be giving me a baby.

     We step out of the shower. Jes dries me off with a towel and gets his
  turn when he turns within the towel in my hands. We face each other.

     "It makes me very happy to see your love for my uncle."

     "Yeah. He's a great guy." I reach out for Jes with my arms and we embrace.
  :You are my greatest love!:

     "Yup. You're a great guy, too."

     Jesse giggles and I join him with a chuckle. He's getting real good at
  mimicking my white guy accent. We kiss with smiles on our faces. Then we
  streak back to the bedroom and get dressed. I'm admiring how I look in my
  new jeans and shirt.

     "Where's your bundle, love?"

     I'm looking down my chest in alarm. I also notice that Jes isn't wearing
  his eagle's feather. "They must have been left at the hot tub. We'll collect
  them after breakfast."

     Jes finishes getting dressed. He gives me a grin that makes me feel
  really good inside. I'm in awe of what we have together. He's my lover!
  We hug to enjoy that wonderful feeling of being a couple. My heart is big
  enough to express that for other men without changing what we are to each
  other. Chris has given me this confidence. As Mike, my feelings for Running
  Water had left me confused and thinking I was betraying Jesse. It wasn't so.
  I've grown up by Merging with my former self. And he was only a kid!

     :Krist-o-fer had lived amongst my People for three years, love.:

     :Yeah. He learned a lot of good things from them.: I no longer scold Jes
  for peeking in my head. There's no denying our connection. It doesn't feel
  strange to me anymore.

     We enter the kitchen. Running Water has made egg sandwiches for us. He's
  nearly finished eating his and asks me to refill his cup before I sit down.
  Jes takes his place at the table. I return with the coffee pot and fill up
  our cups. My lover declines. He's satisfied with only drinking water.

     After offering our silent prayer unto Him, Jes and I eat. Running Water
  sips coffee while supporting his aching head with his left hand. He groans
  sometimes. He's obviously suffering bad from his hang over. Jesse urges me
  to finish breakfast quickly. I glean what he has planned for afterwards.

     "Do you want another sandwich?" asks Running Water.

     "Naw. If you'll clean up the dishes, we'll be out front washing the mud
  from your truck. Can you go up to the hot tub and get our things we left
  behind last night?" I point to my chest and at Jesse's braided hair. The man
  nods with understanding.

     "Hawk Flying Over keeps a bucket and sponge under the sink in his garage.
  Thanks for washing my truck."

     "That's the least we can do. It's my fault for getting it so dirty." I'm
  realizing that we face those same muddy potholes on the way back to Havre.
  What's the point of cleaning up his pickup only to get it splattered with mud
  again? I voice this concern to Running Water.

     "We'll take the west road out of the Res. It's a paved highway. I drove
  you that way here after we stayed the night in Box Elder. Remember?"

     "Yeah." That's the first time I fucked him. I'm looking up at the kitchen
  clock and see that it's nearly nine.

     "Don't worry. You'll get me to my job on time, Mike. Don't spend too much
  effort on washing my truck. It'll only get dirty again."

     Jes and I get up from the table. After collecting our shoes by the front
  door, we enter the garage through the house entrance. The bucket and sponge
  are right where Running Water said they would be found. Some dish soap is
  squeezed into the bucket. Jesse turns the water valve that stiffens up the
  hose in his hand like an erection. I press the button to open the garage
  door. We go outside. The red pickup awaits us on the curb. It's really
  messed up, especially the front hood and windshield. The mud has since dried
  so it's gonna take a lot of effort to clean it off. I'm looking down at my
  new clothes with dread.

     "Love. I'll do the scrubbing and you can spray it off with the hose."

     "It'll go faster if I help you," I answer.

     "We only have one sponge. I don't want you to mess up your new clothes."

     "Alright. But let me know if you get tired scrubbing so I'll take over."
  I'm concerned that Jes will strain himself because he suffers from Marfan's
  Syndrome. He's also a shrimp of a guy. My body is stronger for this kind of
  work. New clothes or not, I want to help him with the cleaning.

     :My reach is longer than yours, love.:

     Jes proves this by lifting his hands high above his head. He almost looks
  like a monkey with his long brown arms. No hair though. I motion for him to
  get out of the way so that I can rinse the truck down with the hose. Some of
  the mud lifts off. Maybe it won't prove to be a big cleanup job after all.

     After filling the soap bucket with water, I reluctantly stand by and
  watch Jesse work his sponge over the truck. His long arm makes circular
  motions across the windshield and hood. He's cleaning his way down to the
  front bumper, often switching hands that I suspect comes from fatigue. When
  he's done, I rinse the soap off. There are a few more muddy spots to clean.
  I'm taking the sponge from my weary lover and attend to them myself.

     Jesse hoses the truck off. A fine spray sweeps over him when the wind
  shifts. I marvel at the rainbow that briefly appears above his head like an
  angel's halo. The Indians of old would have taken that as a sign from the
  rain spirits. I know that it's an example of light refraction through the
  tiny water droplets but no less impressive looking.

     My eyes catch movement in a tree behind Jes. It's a black crow. The bird
  scurries up a branch to find an appropriate perch to watch us. Jesse notices
  what I'm looking at. I Sense a strong emotion from him that gives me goose
  bumps. This is yet another portent that the Indians of old would have taken
  notice of but what does it mean? That takes a shaman's wisdom to interpret.

     Running Water calls out to us when he's locking the door behind him. Jes
  starts winding up the hose in his hands. :Let me turn the water off first.:
  I'm running into the garage and turn the valve. :Okay. Pull on the spray
  handle to release the remaining water. It'll be easier to wind the hose up
  when it's limp.:

     I return outside to fetch the bucket and sponge. Jesse slowly walks up
  the driveway while winding the hose around his hand and elbow. We enter the
  garage together. I rinse the sponge out in the sink and set it in the bucket
  behind the drain pipe. Jes hangs the hose over its place on the wall. I'm
  patting over his shirt to see if he's gotten very wet.

     "That mist was refreshing," says Jesse. He looks down at his pants.

     I notice the muddy spots to his knees and a dark stain runs down his left
  pants leg. If I'd been doing most of the washing, my new jeans would have
  been soiled. Jes shrugs his shoulders.

     "I'm not worried about getting dirty. These are old pants."

     I notice Jesse going deep into thought. :What is it, my love?:

     :I was remembering when I helped my dad clean his truck.:

     My lover tries hiding his emotions from me but from his downcast eyes
  and his dark expression, I know that he's feeling sad. He doesn't think
  he'll ever see his father again. I draw my lover into a big hug he needs at
  this moment.

     :I'm alright, love. You're here for me now and that's all I need.:

     I give Jes a tight squeeze. :You miss him. It's okay to feel sad about it
  and even angry at your father.:

     Our hug ends. I see the tears filling my lover's eyes but he doesn't let
  them fall. He wants to act like a man in front of me. I'm nodding with
  approval while secretly thinking to myself that part of what attracts me to
  him is his expressive face unlike the stoic Indians I've encountered. I also
  like the way he looks so young. He remains a boy by his slim figure and his
  youngish attitude. I've been guarding my thoughts because I don't think
  Jesse would approve of me thinking about him like that. As the boy I love.

     I'm offered a bottle of water to drink. Jes is grabbing two more from a
  box labeled: 'Dannon Natural Spring Water'. He holds them against his chest.
  I press the button to close the garage door. We're rushing outside. My eyes
  fall to the seat of Jesse's pants. For a moment, I was expecting to find
  only a slim thong down the crack of his butt. That's what Chris saw whenever
  he gazed at his lover. The Indians of today cover themselves too well. I'm
  still able to enjoy gazing at their nice curves sticking out from a pair
  of pants.

     We approach the pickup truck. It's a shiny red without a trace of having
  been splattered in mud. Running Water is already sitting in the passenger
  seat. He's leaning against the window with his right arm cradling his head.
  Eyes are closed. It's too bad he has to work today 'cause I'm thinking he'd
  rather go home and sleep it off.

     "Did you notice Raven watching us?" asks Jesse.

     "Huh?" I'm looking up at the tree my lover points to. "Oh. I thought it
  was a crow."

     Jes doesn't say another word about it. He walks around the front of the
  truck while admiring our cleaning job. He opens the driver's side door,
  slides his butt along the long seat until he's beside his uncle. I get in.
  The ignition key has already been inserted. After making sure everyone is
  wearing their seatbelts, I start the engine. The truck is put into gear.

     I'm driving past a few houses when Jesse shows me what's in his hands:
  my bundle and his eagle's feather that Running Water has brought down from
  the hot tub. I'm leaning towards him so he can pull the looped thong down
  over my head. He tucks the bundle under my shirt. My attention returns to the
  road. Jes accidentally elbows me when tying the feather to his long braid.

     The ranch houses are soon left behind. I'm driving down a paved highway
  that assures me that our decision to take the longer way to Havre is a good
  one. Running Water had taken me this way a week ago to hide me out at his
  cousin's house. At first, Hawk Flying Over didn't like having me for a
  guest. He warmed up to me in the hot tub. I'm grinning in sweet remembrance
  of what we shared. It blows my mind that the man isn't gay. He was only
  seeking me out for male relief and to take my manhood strength from me. My
  head bows when I remember the cost to me last night.

     I notice Jesse staring. My thoughts become guarded 'cause I'm still
  trying to deal with what happened to me in that man's bed. I know it was the
  right thing to do. My lover doesn't think I'm any less of a man because of
  my loss. It's just that I don't feel right inside. Not yet.

     I step on the gas to get us up to sixty. I'm unsure of the speed limit
  but I doubt there's a patrol car waiting to pounce on us in these parts.
  It's desolate wasteland. The snow from that last violent storm has since
  melted. We're passing rocky buttes standing between gullies filled with
  winter runoff. The highway often curves around them. A line of wooden poles
  stretches along our path. They're carrying telephone wire and electricity
  from Box Elder back to where Hawk Flying Over lives. I wonder why he and his
  neighbors have chosen to live so far from civilization... Oh. This is an
  Indian reservation. Their land.

     I'm Sensing amusement in Jesse. When I turn to him, he's looking at his
  uncle. Faint snoring is heard. I'm smiling too. Running Water rests his head
  on his right arm that's propped up against the window. He's sleeping off his
  hangover.

     I notice that Jes hasn't been Thinking to me. I'm not pressing him to
  since I'm enjoying the quiet, both from within and without. I only have to
  deal with my own thoughts. Hmm. I've been with three men in the past twelve
  hours. Running Water and I have come to an understanding. Hawk Flying Over
  has what he wants. Jes has been great about the whole situation. He accepts
  that I stand in the middle of their love for me. That kinda seems greedy on
  my part but I'll take what is freely given. My heart is big enough to love
  them both.

     We're flying down the road now at seventy miles per hour. Running Water's
  pickup performs well. It's a new shiny red truck. I'm glad that Jes and I
  washed away the road's grim from it this morning. My brother didn't even
  comment on our cleanup job. I understood why after seeing those blood-shot
  eyes of his and the groans escaping his lips from suffering from a hangover.
  I hope that will be a lesson to him.

     The road curves to the right and plunges downwards. I'm alarmed to see
  that the speedometer reads over eighty so I ease off the gas. We're not that
  much in a rush. It's gonna take us more than an hour to get back to Winna's
  house. Better safe than sorry. A quick look at my watch assures me that we'll
  get Running Water to his job in time. I hope that Jesse's mom won't scold us
  for not returning home last night. She's likely tried calling Hawk Flying
  Over's house and discovered that the telephone service has been down. I
  don't like her worrying and all. We'll avoid telling her why we had to stay
  over night on Running Water's account. That man is already facing that
  woman's 'invite for dinner' to answer why he didn't tell her about Jes and
  me being together.

     Jes squeezes my hand really hard. He's warning me about the road up ahead.
  I see it. I'm stepping on the brakes to stop us before we reach the hazard.
  It's a muddy flow of water crossing our road caused by the snow runoff. I'm
  looking left and right for a way around it but there's no denying that we'll
  have to brave on ahead.

     Jesse and I turn to Running Water but he's still snoring. We look out the
  windshield. Hmm. The flooding isn't that wide. I make the decision to cross
  it while hoping it's not too deep. I'm gently stepping on the gas. We enter
  the muddy torrent that immediately plunges us in water up to the front
  bumper. The truck is swept sharply right so I step hard on the gas. Alarm
  fills me! I'm using both hands over the steering wheel to straighten us out.
  We just manage to make it across to the other side.

     Jes and I stare at each other. We both realize how stupid that was. I was
  worrying about the depth without considering the force of the water. That
  had been the same mistake Christopher's parents made when they attempted to
  raft across a rain swollen river. They both drowned.

     I release my held breath. Jes takes my right hand in his and we silently
  offer our Father thanks for seeing us through it.

     I'm bringing the truck back up to speed but no more than fifty miles an
  hour. We'd seen that danger in the nick of time. I want to avoid similar
  hazards by going slower. More runoffs could be present or left rocks on the
  road that'll tear up our tires.

     The engine starts sputtering after only a mile. Damn! I must have drowned
  an air intake filter or something. We're slowed to a stop. I'm turning the
  key a few times to restart the engine but it only sputters. Running Water
  turns to us with a yawn.

     "It won't start," I explain. "We just crossed water flooding the road."

     "Oh?" Running Water frowns.

     I'm feeling real bad, not even considering telling him how we'd nearly
  been swept into that torrent flow by my foolishness.

     "It could be out of gas."

     I'm looking down at that indicator. Yup. The red needle points at empty.

     "I was intending to fill the tank up in that town we passed on the way
  to my cousin's house. It slipped my mind this morning. Sorry."

     "No. It's my fault. As the driver, I should have checked that before
  leaving Hawk Flying Over's house this morning." I'm slumping heavily back
  into my seat. "How far is it to the closest gas station?" Running Water
  shakes his head.

     "It's more than twenty miles to Box Elder. There's nothing between us and
  there. We're going to have to walk."

     I'm looking at Jesse. His long arms are tightly hugging his chest,
  reminding me of his weak physical condition. Running Water suffers too from
  Marfan's Syndrome. I should be the one to take that walk.

     I hear a truck coming up from behind and spot it in my left view mirror.
  Hope fills me! I'm opening my door and step out to wave the jeep down. It's
  a mud splattered Cherokee riding high on oversized wheels. They must be
  natives to this area because that would be the perfect vehicle to have in
  these parts. I raise both my arms and wave. To my dismay, the jeep swerves
  around us with its horn blaring and keeps on going. I'd just caught sight of
  its driver and the passenger. Both were Indians.

     I'm turning angrily to Running Water. "Why didn't they stop?!"

     Running Water reveals pain in his eyes. "You shouldn't have gotten out of
  the truck. Then they might have stopped."

     I'm shocked. "They didn't want to help me because I'm white?" Jes lowers
  his eyes in shame. Yeah. That's it, isn't it? I plop down into my seat and
  stare across the road with anger. That jeep was driving past so fast that
  they didn't notice I wasn't alone or assumed it was just more white folks.
  "Things have gotta change between our People."

     No one answers me but I wasn't expecting a response to that. We look out
  the windshield for a while. My anger is slow to cool.


     I'm glancing at my watch. It reads eighteen minutes after ten. There's
  been no cars coming down the road for fifteen minutes now. Running Water
  breaks the silence.

     "Mike. You stay here with Jes-ee-ah while I walk to Box Elder. Someone
  will come along and give me a lift into town or come upon you to help out."

     "You shouldn't go off alone. Let's wait here for a while longer."

     Running Water is thinking about it. I notice Jes is looking out my door
  at something, a large black bird. It's perched over a scraggy bush. Singing.

     We sit in the pickup for another ten minutes. No other vehicles have
  come so I'm thinking Running Water might be right. But twenty miles?! The
  day is already heating up and things can go wrong if we were to separate. I
  should be the one to try that long walk... Ah, but no. No Indians would stop
  to help me. I might just get scalped! That last thought of mine was silly.

     I'm noticing Jes is still staring at that bird. :What is it, my love?:

     :Raven. He's trying to tell me something.:

     The tiny hairs lift at the back of my neck. :It can't be that same bird we
  saw in front of Hawk Flying Over's house!: I'm looking at the large raven
  that stops singing in the bush. The bird launches itself towards us, swoops
  over the hood of our truck and just misses the windshield. He must have
  turned in the air above because he's heading straight down the road towards
  Box Elder. I'm Sensing something odd from Jes.

     :He wants you to follow him, Short Hair.:

     I glare at Jesse. "You Saw this in your dream?" I'd spoken that out loud
  so Running Water can become apart of our discussion.

     "What is it?"

     "Uncle. You and Short Hair should walk down the road. I've brought two
  bottles of water. Here." He brings them up from the floor. "I'll stay with
  the truck and if anyone comes to help, we'll pick the two of you up."

     :I'm not leaving you alone!:

     :I won't come to harm, love. You must take this journey without me.:

     I'm Sensing the power in Jes, his belief that this thing must be done even
  though every fiber of my being cries out not to!

     "I'm ready to go for it. Jes-ee-ah? Stay here while we walk to town."

     I glare at Running Water. Jesse's eyes plead for me to go so I relent.
  "Alright... But Jes! Don't you dare leave this truck and head off on your
  own. Do you hear me?"

     "Yes, Sir."

     I'm given his sly grin that proves he isn't mad at me for having ordered
  him to stay with the truck. The water bottle in my hand is opened. I'm
  gulping down half its contents.

     "You should save it, Mike."

     I'm shaking my head. "I was thirsty. Better to have water inside me where
  it'll do some good instead of in my hand. I still have half left."

     I'm getting out of the truck. I don't like how it's parked on the road
  but no one will likely hit it. There's a clear line of sight for miles in
  both directions. The pickup will attract someone's attention so they'll
  stop to see what's wrong. That's my hope, anyway.

     Running Water joins me on the shoulder. He's taking a drink from his water
  bottle. I stick my head through the passenger side window to give my lover a
  farewell kiss.

     "I'll be alright, love. Really."

     I'm smiling 'cause Jes had repeated that assurance I'm always giving him.
  :Call out to me if anything happens.:

     :I will.:

     We slowly separate. I give my lover a last look before joining his uncle
  on the shoulder of the road. We're both waving back at Jesse. Then we set
  off towards Box Elder. Hopefully, someone will spot us way before then.

     :Follow your heart, love.:

     I feel goose bumps forming after Jes Said that. I'm looking around for
  that large black bird but don't catch sight of him. Running Water is setting
  a fast pace with those long legs of his. I sprint up to his side.

     "Take it easy," I warn. "We don't have much water and I suspect that it's
  gonna be getting real hot today." Running Water slows down only a little. We
  return to the road because the shoulder is too muddy to walk along.

     :Are you alright, Jes?:

     :Yes. Are you going to be checking on me every minute?:

     :No. Maybe as long as every five minutes!: I tease. :We don't know how far
  we're able to Send our thoughts.: Jes doesn't know either. I suspect that our
  Connection won't fade unless we're worlds apart and that's not gonna happen
  without a rocket ship.

     "I'm going to lose my job," mutters Running Water.

     "What?" He turns to me with a slight lifting to his shoulders.

     "Roy is expecting me at eleven. We have a custom job to complete for a
  client so he's depending on me to be there."

     "Oh." I grip my brother's shoulder. "Your boss will understand. The phones
  were out so you weren't able to call him."

     "We should have gone back to Havre last night."

     I see the regret in Running Water's eyes. "You were in no condition to do
  that. I wouldn't have let you drive back to Chinook on your own so you would
  have had to of slept over at Winna's house." I flare my eyes.

     "You're right, Mike." The man takes a deep breath. "My aunt would have
  been given yet another reason to be angry with me."

     "She won't ever know..." Running Water glares at me. I'd meant about him
  being drunk but his greatest fear is if that woman were to learn that Ron
  had taken advantage of her son. He still has to answer for not telling Winna
  that he knew Jes and I were being together before she did. He's managed to
  put off having 'dinner' alone with her for this long.

     We look down the road. It goes on and on as the bird flies. I'm still
  puzzling over what Jes said about that raven. He's Seen something in his
  dream but won't tell me right out what it was. Maybe he doesn't know himself.

     :Are you alright, love?:

     :Huh?: Oh. :Has it been five minutes already?: I Answer in a tease.

     :Almost ten. No one has come down the road.:

     :Jes. Make sure that you know whoever stops to help before getting into
  their truck with them. Okay?:

     :Beggars can't be choosers but I'll know if they mean ill towards me. Few
  whites ever venture this far into the res.:

     :Yeah. That's why those Indians didn't stop to help me. This is your
  People's land and I'm seen as a trespasser. Those two guys are probably
  having a good laugh about it.:

     :Don't think badly of them, Mike. They saw my uncle's new pickup truck and
  it probably amused them that a white guy got stuck on the road. A lot of
  reservation folk are very poor. They don't have jobs, good trucks or houses
  and blame everything on the whites. The U.S. Government had taken away the
  People's land and forced them onto reservations like this one.:

     :It's a whole lot of nothing.: I'm looking around at the muddy wasteland
  that's choked with buttes and outcroppings of sharp rock. Nothing good could
  be grown here. For most of the year, it's like a desert. Only in early Spring
  does water flow from the melted snow runoff but that causes its own problems.

     :That's why my People were put here. They couldn't fend for themselves so
  they were made dependant on the Government for food, clothing and shelter.
  In return for this 'help', they had to turn away from their old ways and
  sacred beliefs. Children were put into schools where they were punished if
  they spoke their native language.:

     :But that happened more than eighty years ago! They're free now.:

     :Free maybe, but without the equal opportunity to education and jobs to
  support themselves. You only have to look at what's happened to the blacks.
  They were slaves almost a hundred and fifty years ago but today, they're
  still being discriminated against.:

     I stop Thinking to Jes because I'm not to blame for all that. It's in the
  past yet I've gotten his point that what's happening now is the result of
  them past mistakes. Even my government recognizes how badly they've treated
  Native Peoples. It's like I said. Things have gotta change.

     Running Water is staring at me. I'm slowly nodding in response. He knows
  that I've been Talking with Jesse. We continue walking down the road.

     Sweat is wiped from my brow. My eyes are stinging. I regret not having a
  cell phone that could have prevented this situation we've found ourselves
  in. Those good men guarding Winna's house have phones. Indians at that! I'm
  realizing that my thinkin' about Natives has gotta change. They're like any
  other people who utilize the tools of our modern age to make our lives
  easier. I'm gonna be getting Jes and me cell phones so we can keep in touch
  with loved ones. Especially his mom who must be worrin' bad about us.

     I quicken my pace to catch up with Running Water. He has long legs that
  are tearing up the road. It's wearing on him though. The expression on his
  face is set in hard stone but I can Sense what he's feeling. My right hand
  goes to his shoulder. Together, we brave this hardship that's befallen us.


     I look at my watch. It's after eleven now. We've been walking for fifty
  minutes but no one has come down the road. We're both sweated. Our empty
  water bottles have long been tossed away so I'm getting concerned. Heat
  exhaustion is a real danger. Running Water is favoring his left leg so I
  know he must have strained a muscle. I'm gesturing for us to take a breather.

     We sit down on the road. It's hot against my butt. There are muddy pools
  all around but we don't dare drink from them. If the heat gets worse, we
  could soak our shirts in them to cool off. Christopher's training about
  surviving in the wilderness is ever in my mind.

     "Mike?"

     I turn to Running Water. There's pain in his eyes while he's rubbing his
  aching right calf.

     "It's no good. We should have stayed with the truck."

     I knew that. We're not gonna be able to reach Box Elder on foot. If we had
  stayed with Jes, we could have saved ourselves this futile walk. Anyone
  coming down the road in either direction would stop to help. We didn't know
  that it was gonna be this desolate this afternoon.

     I'm lifting my face to the sun with my eyes closed. Man! It's hot. My
  butt is burning against the concrete. "Let's wait over there." Running Water
  nods in agreement. He hobbles off the road with my help and we sit over a
  flattened rock. I drape my hand over his shoulder. Our heads lower to breathe
  in the cooler air closer to the ground. It smells of wet clay.

     We sit together for a while. I Call out to Jes every so often. He's okay.
  No one is seen driving down the road. I tell him that we won't be walking on
  any further.

     Running Water glances at me. I glean that there's something on his mind.
  "Is your leg hurting a lot?" I've said that instead of asking what's really
  troubling him. The man gives me shy eyes.

     "I'm glad you're going to be with Jes-ee-ah now."

     "Yeah. His mom has come around." I reach for Running Water's left hand
  and squeeze it. "I'm glad that we're together too." The man drops his eyes.

     "It feels strange that I'm sharing you with him."

     I don't know how to answer that. We sit quietly for a while taking turns
  looking down the road. His eyes won't meet mine. He hasn't pulled his hand
  away. I'm sensing the man's inner struggle. I can't help him with that. My
  former self realized how difficult it was to bridge our two cultures. I've
  seen this for myself these past two weeks. I'm gonna be living in their world
  but I shouldn't turn my back on my own. That's who I am.

     I'm drawn to a bird's warning call. It's Raven. He's circling overhead
  like buzzards do before they descend to feast on the dead. I shouldn't think
  that. Someone is bound to drive down this road...

     "How ne tucka."

     We abruptly turn to the man who's greeted us. Running Water answers him.

     "Ah. Took ne how."

     Relief fills me. This old man can help us. If not with gas, he'll have
  water for us to drink. Maybe a working phone.

     "Are you lost?"

     "No. My truck ran out of gas. Grandfather. Do you have any to spare?"

     "Sorry, no. I am in need of help myself."

     They've been talking in Siksika. I speak up. "How are you in need,
  grandfather?" The man looks at me with sharp eyes. Introductions should be
  given now. "I am called Short Hair and this is my brother, Running Water."

     "I am Goes-late-in-the-night. The trouble is with my trailer house. The
  front side of it is sinking in the mud. The child and I don't have the
  strength to prop logs under the axle to prevent it from tipping over. Can
  you come to help?"

     I'm nodding my head but Running Water is shaking his.

     "We can't, grandfather. My nephew is waiting back at the truck so we need
  to stay on the road. We're hoping that someone will come to help us."

     "Hmm. My sick wife is in that trailer house."

     "Take her out so she won't be in danger," answers Running Water. "We'll
  send someone out later to set your house aright."

     "It is sinking fast. We'll lose it before then."

     I hear the desperation in this man's voice. I'm standing up. "I'll go
  with you. Running Water can stay by the road until my return." No objection
  is raised by my brother. Goes-late-in-the-night is happily nodding his head.

     "Where is your trailer house?" asks Running Water.

     "It is a ways away, I'm afraid. I've walked close to an hour to reach this
  road in the hope of finding someone like yourselves. The phone is out."

     Running Water slowly nods while rubbing his sprained leg. I meet his gaze.
  "Stay here. I'll let Jes know what's happening. When I'm done, I'll bring
  back water." Running Water shrugs his shoulders. There's no sign in the old
  man that he's picked up on what I've said about Jes.

     "Go then. I'll stay by the road to await help."

     I'm surprised by the tone of Running Water's voice. Is he against me going
  off to help this man? I Send a quick burst to Jesse to let him know what's
  going on. He thinks his uncle is just tired, feeling bad that he can't help
  because of his leg strain and by not getting to his job on time.

     I turn from my brother to follow Goes-late-in-the-night. He's a bit fat
  around the waist. Most of his lower legs are splattered with mud and his
  shoes are clumps of red clay. Mud sucks on my gym shoes. It makes for a
  difficult walk this old man has already endured to get to the road. He heads
  towards a small butte.

     "Short Hair, hmm? Are you a member of the Blackfoot Tribe?"

     "Not yet. I was given an elk skin robe at Thursday's meeting."

     "Is that so? My wife was sick so we couldn't attend."

     "Do the two of you live out here alone?"

     "No. My wife's daughter's child is with us."

     I recall him mentioning that. It's an odd way to refer to the child
  without giving a gender. Must be too young to help him with his trailer. We
  drudge past that small butte with others seen in the distance. Who would
  live out here? It's desolate wasteland.

     I turn my attention to this old man. He's not as ancient as Jesse's
  grandfather but I sense something lacking in him. It's his dull eyes. They
  reveal a sense of hopelessness or the surrendering to a hard life.

     "May I ask how you came to live amongst the People? And you speak well as
  if born amongst us yet I've never heard your name before."

     "It's a long story, grandfather."

     "It is a long way back to my trailer."

     I take a deep breath and begin my account of how I've come to live with
  Winnapah and her son Jes-ee-ah. It is a difficult telling since much of it
  must be left out. Goes-late-in-the-night looks at me sharply when I tell him
  about the trouble I'm in with the police. He's heard about the protest when
  Shaman He-who-runs-up-mountains surrendered a sacred bundle to them and he
  realizes that I'm that very white guy who fought against those corrupt
  policemen and ended up in jail. I ask if he knows Running Water. He answers
  that they hadn't met before but he's heard of that man. A chill runs down my
  spine. I'm thinking that I may have revealed that I'm gay. Everyone knows
  that my brother was with Ron for those six years.

     Our pace slows around the buttes. We try keeping to dry ground but often
  we must cross streamlets or splash through muddy pools. The old man is
  exhausted. The help he was seeking from the road would have provided him a
  quick ride back to his trailer. Does he regret having found us?

     I glance at my watch. It's nearly one. I've been Sending Jesse views of
  my path so when help comes for him and his uncle, they'll be able to find me.
  Goes-late-in-the-night struggles to climb up a rocky hill. He accepts my arm
  around him. At the top, I pause from climbing down yet.

     "Let us slow our heartbeats, grandfather."

     "Yes. We have both trod like hogs in this soaked land."

     During our brief rest, I've looked down the embankment and seen a dirt
  road. "Doesn't this lead back to the hardened road?" I ask.

     "Not for both hands of fingered miles to where the sun sets. I took the
  path as the bird flies to find you."

     Goes-late-in-the-dark used the old way of counting. Both hands of fingers
  means ten or more. My eyes widen. We've reverted into speaking old Siksika
  and he hadn't notice. I didn't either until now.

     We carefully make our way down the embankment. Goes-late-in-the-night
  nearly slipped on some loose stones but I caught him. We reach the dirt road.
  It's lined with poles that bring electricity and telephone into this remote
  part of the reservation. Grandfather points out that is why his wife wanted
  to set up their trailer home in such a bad place on the road. He feared that
  the Spring runoff would be trouble. And he was right.

     :Help has come, love!:

     Jesse Sends me a quick burst of what's happening. He's being given a ride
  by that very driver of the jeep who'd passed me earlier on the road. The
  man's name is Wind-blows-over-the-grass. He'd dropped off his friend then
  came back to see if 'that white guy' was still stuck on the road and needed
  help. Anger fills me. :Can you trust him?: I Ask.

     :Yes. When he learned that it was the shaman's grandson (me) in that red
  pickup he passed by, the man couldn't apologize enough! We're going to pick
  up my uncle and then you.:

     I'm considering something. :Jes? Have Wind-blows-over-the-grass take you
  both to Box Elder for gas first then return to your uncle's pickup. I'm not
  sure which road you'll need to take to find me.:

     :You haven't reached that old man's trailer?:

     :Not yet. I still have to help him with lifting it up from the mud.:

     :Okay. You're doing a good thing, love.:

     :I know. You were right about Raven.: Jes knows what I'm talking about. We
  break contact with each other. Goes-late-in-the-night didn't notice that
  I've been Talking to someone. We're approaching what appears to be a dump in
  the distance.

     We pass a rusting car, a pile of burnt trash and other junk when the old
  man's trailer comes into view. It's leaning alarmingly on its right side and
  could topple over at any minute. Goes-late-in-the-night calls out. A small
  form darts out the open front door and jumps barefoot into the mud. We run
  to meet this child.

     "Grandfather! I didn't think you would come back in time so I was about to
  pull grandmother from her bed."

     "This is Short Hair. He's come to help prop up our trailer."

     I look over this girl. She appears to be nine or ten years of age. Her
  voice is very nice to listen to, almost musical in quality. Grandfather
  gives me her name.

     "This is Sings-as-a-raven. My... grandson."

     I'm awe struck. This is a boy? He's been looking me over boldly without a
  trace of shyness in his eyes. I tear mine from his. Patched jeans are worn,
  coated in mud. No shirt. His long black hair reaches half way down his back.
  That indicates his age is closer to thirteen. Chris learned to determine the
  ages of his Indian friends by the length of their hair amongst other male
  attributes. I eye this kid's butt sticking through the seat of his pants.
  It's a nice shape. The boy addresses me in English.

     "I need your help. Quick! Before the trailer topples over. My grandmother
  is still inside. She's sick."

     Sings-as-a-raven wades through the thick mud until he's standing by the
  right axle. A frantic gesture is given me to join him. Man! What a quagmire.
  These new jeans I'm wearing will likely get ruined. I pull off my wrist
  watch and reach into my front pockets for house keys and my wallet. They're
  set over a broken dish sticking through the mud.

     I struggle to reach the boy. Thick mud sucks on my gym shoes. When I reach
  the axle, both of my legs are splattered. I'm expecting to end up like this
  youth after we're done: shirtless, no shoes to wear and mud stained jeans. I
  can save my shirt though. I'm pulling it off and hang it over a wire to the
  trailer's awning. Sings-as-a-raven points something out to me.

     "I've been using this jack to prop firewood under the axle. For some
  reason, it's gotten too hard to work."

     I examine the rusty tire jack. It's set under the wheel hub while behind
  it is a stack of wood to support the axle. I'm giving it a crank. Alarm
  fills me when the trailer shudders.

     "Do that slowly," warns Sings-as-a-raven in a melodic voice. "You have the
  strength I lack to work it. I'll place wood under the axle as you raise it.
  Grandfather? Hand me another piece, please!"

     The boy reverted into Siksika when he addressed his grandfather. I slowly
  push down on the long handle and the trailer lifts up slightly. Not enough to
  fit the next piece of firewood. Goes-late-in-the-night is tossing wood to his
  grandson who piles them over a folded chair in the mud so they won't sink.
  The boy is waist deep in the stuff. Mud only reaches up to my knees. We must
  be standing in a big hole or something.

     I've managed to crank up the trailer enough for Sings-as-a-raven to set
  two pieces of wood under the axle side by side. I feel the jack's straining.
  Mud has gotten into the gears and explains why it's so difficult to crank.
  Grandfather throws over some more firewood. The boy misses catching one that
  splashes mud over us both.

     "Sorry," mutters Sings-as-a-raven. He wipes mud from his face.

     I love hearing his voice. "It's okay. I knew that we're gonna be getting
  dirty." My arms strain to pull the handle down. It is getting harder to
  crank. I catch the boy's eyes on my chest. He's interested in my bundle.
  "Are you able to get the next two pieces in place?" He rushes to set them
  under the axle.

     :We've reached Box Elder,: Sends Jesse. :How are you doing?:

     :Fine! I'll see you later.: Jes understands that I'm real busy now. Mind
  Talk is a wonderful form of communication but it does require concentration.
  I need that now for what I'm doing.

     Sings-as-a-raven struggles with setting another piece of wood under the
  axle. I give the jack another crank. It makes a painful groan that warns I
  may not get that many more lifts out of it. The boy sets down another stack
  of wood.

     I've been noticing the boy's eyes on me, especially when my arms strain
  to pull down on the crank lever. My muscles bulge with strength when lifting
  the trailer a little higher. We exchange grins.

     After a while, we manage to place seven logs in two rows under the axle.
  The trailer is nearly upright. I can't get any more height out of the jack
  unless its base can be raised. That would risk losing its support of the
  wheel hub to prop something under it. I'm not going to try.

     Goes-late-in-the-night claps his hand together. "Good! That should hold
  for a while. Thank you!"

     I check on the stacks of wood Sings-as-a-raven has placed to make sure
  none will slip out. The boy beams at me. I'm about to fondly rub his head
  but stop myself. My hands are muddy.

     "You two get cleaned up," asks grandfather. "I'm going to check on my
  wife inside."

     The boy and I struggle to get out of this mud pit. I've taken hold of his
  hand and pull until we reach dry ground. I'm looking down at myself with
  dismay. Most of the lower half of my new jeans are covered in thick mud. My
  shoes are a real mess. I'll probably have to buy new ones.

     "We can clean up in the river," says Sings-as-a-raven. He runs off.

     I chase after the boy. We pass a metal shed that seems out of place. It's
  too new and shiny. I'm nearly tripping over a dismantled television set when
  peering around this camp. There's so much junk about. More than what I think
  could have come from them. I see depressions in the dirt where another
  trailer once stood. Ah, yes. That explains it. Did that family pick up and
  leave before Goes-late-in-the-night set down his trailer here so his wife
  would get access to electricity and the telephone?

     Sings-as-a-raven climbs up a hill. When I join him on top, we're looking
  down into a river below. He turns to me with bright eyes and starts singing.

     "Mud monsters. Mud monsters. We're two mud monsters who are about to shed
  their skins." The boy claps his hands twice.

     "That water is gonna be cold," I comment. The boy sprints towards the
  river. I'm running down the hill after him with such speed that I lose my
  left shoe. I'm unbalanced, sending me rolling down the rest of the way. The
  boy rushes to my side.

     "Are you alright?"

     "Yeah." The boy's dark eyes look at me in a way that excites me. His is a
  very pretty face. Expressive. I'd thought he was a girl. Sings-as-a-raven
  helps me up to my feet. He isn't strong but I relish the touch of his hands
  around my arm. We walk to the muddy river. It's at least ten horses... or I
  should say ten cars wide. A swift running that bespeaks of depth and very
  dangerous undercurrents. We'll have to stay close to the bank.

     I remove my remaining gym shoe, socks, then wade into the water with my
  jeans on. The mud on them will get rinsed off but I'm sure that stains will
  remain even after they're properly washed. Sings-as-a-raven joins me in the
  river. He smiles nicely at me and I smile back.

     "You've gotten mud in your hair..."

     "Oh?" In the next moment, I find myself getting splashed. A trick! I'm
  splashing at the boy who drops to his back to kick up a storm with his feet.
  I do the same. The water is chilling but our brisk activity helps warm us.
  Sings-as-a-raven disappears from sight. I'm looking around with concern until
  finding him surfacing near shore. I wade through the water to join him there.

     We step out dripping wet. Most of the mud has been rinsed from our
  clothes but I'm feeling grit between my cheeks. There's no denying what I'm
  gonna have to do. I pull my jeans off. Sings-as-a-raven removes his that to
  my surprise, proves that the boy isn't wearing any underwear. He looks at
  my underwear that from getting soaked, shows off my dick all too well. No
  point in keeping them on. I'm dropping them to get naked like him.

     We look each other over. The boy's foreskin droops to his sac of balls.
  It's a dark brown yet reveals the shape of his dick tucked within. What
  surprises me is that he bears some groin hair. Could he be older than
  thirteen? He eyes my pink dick that gets it to tingle from his interest. We
  exchange shy grins.

     The youth turns to the hill. My eyes fall to his brown little behind that
  is so much like Jesse's. Nice curves on him. I'm feeling an embarrassing
  growth to my cock so I return to the river with my clothes to rinse them.
  Sings-as-a-raven scurries back up the hill. He's fetching my left gym shoe.
  Both are brought back to me along with my socks. I'm handing the boy my
  clothes so I can wipe mud from my gym shoes. He's kneeling in the river
  close at my side. His dark eyes watching my every move.

     I'm standing in water up to my thighs. In spite of the cold, my cock has
  risen along my belly. I've turned away so he won't notice. Chris would be
  trying to see if this youth would be interested in some naked fun. I'm
  struggling against that temptation because in this modern day, I'd be sent
  to jail for touching this boy.

     "I want to thank you for helping me with raising grandfather's trailer."

     "Raven sent me." I'm startled for having said that. My fingers struggle
  with removing bits of clay from the difficult to get at parts of my gym
  shoes. Its strings remain stained with mud. I'll have to replace them.

     "Sorry about your shoes," mutters Sings-as-a-raven.

     "It's okay. I'm glad to have helped." The boy kneels close to my back. I
  shudder when feeling his hand rubbing over my shoulder. He splashes water
  over me with his other hand.

     "There's mud there."

     "Thanks." I'm getting very excited by this boy's touch. He runs his left
  hand down my back, rinsing me with water. I become anxious when his thumb
  touches my butt. I'm standing up. That's gonna reveal my excitement to him
  if I turn around.

      From the corner of my eye, I see Sings-as-a-raven rolling up our clothes
  into a ball. He's trying to squeeze water from them.

     I rinse my shoes in the water one last time. We head back to the bank and
  my side glance at Sings-as-a-raven reveals that he also bears an erection.
  I'm setting my shoes down. The boy turns to me with bright eyes and hands me
  the waist end to our two pairs of jeans. He starts twisting the legs end.
  We're wringing the water out of them. I eye the small muscles bulging in his
  arms. He notices what I'm looking at and pride fills his brown face.

     "I'm strong. Down there, too."

     I peer at the boy's stiff. He's seen that my cock is hard. It becomes an
  awkward moment because this would be the perfect opening to do something
  with him. Instead, I pull the jeans from his hands and drape them over my
  right shoulder. The legs end don't quite reach down to cover my hard on.

     When Sings-as-a-raven starts to wring the water from my underwear, I'm
  taking them from him with embarrassment. They're placed in my jeans pocket
  for safe keeping. The boy hands over my socks with a sullen face. After
  wringing them dry, I pull one over my dick. That gets him giggling. He
  gestures to have the other so I hand it over. The boy slips it over his
  erection with a grin.

     I see the fire in this boy's eyes. It's difficult, but I keep my hands to
  my sides as much as I'd want to reach them out to him. He fetches my gym
  shoes from the ground after tying their strings together. I gesture that he
  can carry them for me.

     I turn for the hill. Sings-as-a-raven reveals disappointment in his face.
  I'm trying to hide what I'm feeling from showing on my face. We start our
  climb. We've left our socks on that makes for a silly display. The boy
  struggles near the top so I offer him my hand that he accepts. We reach the
  top. I'm looking low on him. He's still filling up his sock. Mine is too.

     "Short Hair?"

     I think this is the first time he's spoken my name. "Yeah?"

     "Can you put your shoes down?"

     Sings-as-a-raven is staring at my feet. "Sure. But why?" The boy doesn't
  answer me though I suspect what it is. I set my shoes over the ground and
  fold our wet jeans before placing them on top. He steps closer to me. His
  eyes remain averted so maybe he only wants to ask me something before we
  return to the trailer.

     The boy reaches down for my sock. He pulls it away then frees his dick.
  Another step is taken towards me until they're nearly touching, brown on
  white. I grasp his shoulders. He peers up at me with seeking eyes, reaches
  for my hips and pulls our bodies together. Such longing fills his eyes. With
  some struggle, I manage to separate ourselves by pushing on his shoulders.

     "Don't you like me?" the boy asks.

     "I do. But I've already given my heart to someone."

     "Oh. I'm not trying to..."

     Sings-as-a-raven clams up. He stares at the pouch hanging down from my
  neck. It holds wedding rings. I doubt this youth realizes that.

     "Would he mind so much if we only... you know. If we just do it?"

     "I don't know but I would mind."

     "Because I'm too young?"

     I've heard the hurt in Sings-as-a-raven's voice. "Yes. That is part of why
  we can't. Am I the first guy you tried to... hug?" The boy slowly nods his
  head. How can I explain it so he'll understand and not be hurt? I'm clearing
  my throat. "Our act together would be over quickly. Yet you'll be left with
  feelings that would take you a long time to sort through. Maybe you'd regret
  that it happened and hate me for not stopping you as I am."

     Sings-as-a-raven shakes his head. "If we don't, I'm going to think about
  what could have been for even longer. But no matter what, I won't hate you."

     I'm nodding. "Thanks for saying that."

     "Can we just hug?"

     A sharp breath is sucked into my mouth. I'm afraid of what that could
  lead to.

     "A quick one so I'll know what it's like?"

     Before I can answer him, the boy hugs me. A tight one with his hands
  reaching around my back. Our dicks press together. I'm struggling with myself
  to push him away but I can't. He steps away in the next moment with a flushed
  face. Breaths are racing through his mouth. I hold my hands out to prevent
  him from hugging me again.

     "You're very nice, Short Hair. Thanks. We should be getting back."

     I've seen the hurt in Sings-as-a-raven's eyes. He streaks down the hill
  so I grab our clothes and my shoes to give chase. "Wait up!" The boy stops
  almost immediately. He turns to me with hope in his eyes. I set my gym shoes
  and our jeans down over the ground and sit on them. The boy walks back to me.
  He kneels at my knees with strong eyes.

     "We need to wait a bit until..." I'm looking down at my hard on.

     "Oh. That. I don't think my grandfather would be shocked."

     "I would. He might get it in his head that I took advantage of you." I've
  gleaned from that old man that he suspects I'm gay because he already knows
  Running Water is. He might even think that we're together. We are, actually.

     "Do you ever pull on it?" asks Sings-as-a-raven.

     "Of course. Most guys do." I'm not gonna admit that I beat off between
  my thighs. "As a man, I express my love with it but it's much more than
  just getting off if you know what I mean."

     "Kissing. Stuff like that?"

     "Yeah." I breathe out heavily. "You're a nice kid. I'm glad that you
  understand why we can't."

     "I'm not trying to... you know. Fall in love or anything. I just want to
  try some stuff so I'll know what it's like."

     "Uh-huh. We hardly know each other so even if we were just to touch, you
  don't realize how powerful it would be for you. Your mouth says that you're
  not trying for love but your heart would burst with it." The boy looks down
  at his erection with a frown.

     "It's aching me so much." In a small voice, "I wanted to hug you so I
  would know."

     "Know what?"

     "That I'm gay."

     He spoke that word out loud. It's not a bad word in itself but for those
  who don't understand how we feel for our own sex, it becomes bad and used in
  an ugly way to describe the worst in us. I'm not sure what I should say to
  him right now.

     "I think my grandfather suspects."

     I'm taking a deep breath and release it from my lungs. That explains why
  Goes-late-in-the-night didn't tell me up front that his wife's daughter's
  'child' was a boy. Maybe that man has it in his head that his grandson should
  have been born a girl or something.

     "How long have you been with... him."

     I'm smiling. "We're both new to love. His name is Jesse."

     "Jes-ee-ah? Our shaman's grandson?"

     I'm nodding my head. "Please don't tell anyone."

     "I swear that I won't! Who knows about the two of you?"

     "His mother. It was hard at first to accept the idea but she's letting me
  stay in her house with him."

     "Wow."

     "That's how I feel too. Running Water is teaching us how to be together."

     "Everyone knows that he's gay. I'd seen him with Ron at the meetings.
  Their eyes on each other gave it away that they're together."

     "Really?"

     "Maybe I was able to see it because I'm like them. No one talks about it.
  You're younger than Ron so that's why I fell... ah. Wanted to know what sex
  feels like."

     "It is everything they say it is. But if there's no love between the two
  guys doing it, that's all it is. A brief joy that's followed by emptiness and
  the need for so much more." We're staring at each other. "Do you have any
  friends your age?"

     "Who are gay?"

     I'm nodding.

     "No. I only see my friends at school and at some of the activities. None
  of them are gay that I know of and besides, we don't have anywhere to try
  anything." The boy blows out a tense breath. "I'm stuck at the trailer with
  my grandparents. It's very lonely for me."

     I was hoping that this boy could mess around with friends for a healthy
  release like Chris had seen between his Indian friends. Most boys grow up
  straight but in their youth, experiment with sex just to know what it's like
  and how to perform when they're ready to marry. I was hinting at this to
  Sings-as-a-raven. He didn't pick up on it.

     "Did you do anything when you were a boy?"

     "Some stuff. It's difficult though. You don't know if a friend wants to
  try something with you or will tattle about it." Sings-as-a-raven nods.

     "I won't be tattling on you. Not that we did anything..."

     "We didn't. I'm sorry about that but I've told you why." The boy taps his
  toes against my gym shoes. He seems to lose his balance and falls into my
  lap. I'm turning him around until he's sitting over my thigh.

     "Thanks," mutters Sings-as-a-raven.

     The slippery warmth from his butt feels nice over my right leg. I should
  get up to separate us but I grasp his waist instead. He clutches my shoulder.
  His eyes won't look at me.

     "Short Hair?" A pause. "I am like you. It's not something I chose to be.
  There's no one to tell me what I should... do about it."

     "It's not bad being gay." Sings-as-a-raven buries his face in my chest.
  I'm holding him close and glean that he's been fearing that he is. The boy's
  belly quivers against me. He's gonna cry. "Shh. You're a teenager now so
  don't be putting on a weak display. Okay?"

     "It's been really hard for me."

     "I know." Sings-as-a-raven turns his head against my chest.

     "I can hear your heartbeat."

     "Yeah?" The boy peers up at me with his gorgeous brown eyes. His lips are
  trembling. I'm racing with something to say to break this intense moment.
  "How did you come to live with your grandparents?"

     "My father is serving overseas," answers Sings-as-a-raven. "Not that he's
  given me much time when he returns on leave."

     "What about your mother?" The boy's eyes tear up.

     "She died giving birth to me."

     "I'm sorry." A tense breath blows out my nose. "How long have you been
  staying with your grandparents?"

     "Since I was nine. There's no one else to look after them on my mother's
  side of the family. I'm not sure why but... my father doesn't like them. He
  stuck me with them."

     I have to look away when gleaning this youth's greatest hope. He's been
  trying to find a way to escape. Not that he hates his grandparents. He
  doesn't, but it's been a burden to him and he's realizing that being gay
  could offer him a way out. I'm closing my eyes in my attempt to stop Reading
  him. It's not his thoughts that fill my head. I Sense his fear, hopes and
  dreams that we all have. They're all laid bare at my feet without me even
  trying to know them.

     "You must think I'm terrible for wanting to leave my grandparents,"
  mutters Sings-as-a-raven.

     "No. You aren't." I'm shaking my head back and forth to assure this youth
  that he's not being bad saying what he did. He feels trapped by having to
  stay with his grandparents. They live in a rundown trailer in the midst of
  nowhere. He can only see his friends at school. They live too far away to
  play with. And on top of all that, he's realizing that he's gay. His
  grandfather may already know it. What had been a difficult life for this boy
  will become harder. "I'm not the one to take you away from all this."

     "What... What did you say?"

     "Nothing. I shouldn't have said that."

     "I'm not asking you to run off with me. You already have someone to be
  with. I have to help my grandparents."

     Our eyes meet. Sings-as-a-raven reveals betrayal on his face. Guilt fills
  me. My gift to See people is difficult for me to deal with. I don't want to
  know innermost secrets that we all have and hide from others. I'm not being
  a help to this youth by speaking of it out loud.

     "We should be getting back," asks Sings-as-a-raven.

     "Alright." I peer into the boy's eyes to beg for his forgiveness.

     "You were right about me. What you said."

     I'm releasing the breath that I've been holding. "I didn't mean to make
  you feel bad."

     "It's only a silly dream I have. That some nice man will come and want me
  to go away with him. It's not going to happen. My grandparents have been
  raising me and there's no one else to take care of them. Besides, I'm too
  young like you've said."

     He means to be gay. "You can't help how you feel. It's okay. Keep this
  sweet dream in your heart and you'll know when the right moment comes to
  realize it."

     "Is Jes-ee-ah your first love?"

     "Yes. He is. Maybe you won't have to wait as long as I did to find
  someone to love you." Sings-as-a-raven smiles. He gives me a tight squeeze
  that lifts my heart. I know that he'll find a nice man to love. Someday.

     The boy loosens his arms around me. He gets to his feet and wipes his eyes
  dry. I'm looking at his butt. The boy stretches himself and nearly backs onto
  my face. My hands gently push on his brown cheeks. He releases a sigh.

     "Is mine nice?"

     "Yeah." I'm caressing his soft behind while scolding myself not to. The
  boy parts his legs so I daringly spread his cheeks to peek at his hole. It's
  small, like what I've seen of Jesse's before sticking my tongue in to
  prepare his butt for fucking. This youth doesn't realize the danger he's in.
  I'm barely keeping control of my lust. "Be careful about sticking your butt
  at someone," I warn, "or you might get it raped."

     Sings-as-a-raven gasps. "You mean fucking?"

     "Yeah. I'm not gonna but there are men who would take advantage of you.
  It'll hurt a lot from getting your butt raped and the betrayal you'll feel
  in your heart afterwards. Only give yourself to a lover who will care enough
  to prepare you for a gentle love making."

     "Like you are with Jes-ee-ah?"

     "Yes. We both give of ourselves to each other that way. It's not the only
  way to express our love. There are lots of ways to do this."

     "At least two guys can make love as a man does with a woman."

     I was hoping to get this boy off the subject of fucking. He looks down at
  himself with a sly grin. I see his dick swelling up. He has a long foreskin
  that keeps his knob tucked within. I'm resisting the urge to reach out and
  free it.

     "What does it feel like?"

     He wants me to handle his dick? I'm shrugging my shoulders and force my
  hands to remain at my sides.

     "To get your butt fucked."

     "Oh." I'm grinning. "It hurts a lot at first but when you love someone
  so much, you're willing to bear that."

     "Short Hair? How do you think I can find someone to love?"

     "Well. You need to be older so what you'll be doing with someone won't be
  against the law. Especially if it's with a man."

     "No. I mean how can I look for someone who might like me?"

     I'm releasing a tense breath. "That's hard. A lot of gay guys in the city
  go to bars but I think they only end up with someone for the night."

     "How did you find Jes-ee-ah?"

     I'm smiling in remembrance of how we met. "Uh. I was teaching a class at
  the local college that his mother was attending. She brought Jes with her
  one night. That's how we met. I didn't know if he liked me as I liked him
  but when Winna invited me over for dinner, we knew. It was difficult keeping
  it a secret from his mom."

     "But she found out."

     "Yeah. You can imagine how upset she was. I listened to her anger and
  felt real bad by the pain we had put her through. She didn't think her son
  was gay but he told her he was. That was very difficult for his mother to
  hear. It took a while, but Winna came to accept that we're gonna be together.
  I've been allowed to live with them as if I'm her son-in-law."

     "It makes me happy to know that it can work out," says Sings-as-a-raven.
  "Maybe I'll find someone."

     "I hope so too." I'm getting to my feet and squeeze the boy in my arms.

     In a small voice, "Have you met others like me?"

     "Boys?" Oh. I know what he means.

     "Any others who are gay and looking to find someone."

     "No. But Jes and I aren't going to keep our relationship a secret. We're
  not ashamed of who we are. That will help others who are in hiding to reveal
  that they're gay." A flurry of thoughts go round my head. I'm coming up with
  a plan on how to bring all of us together.

     "If you come across someone who you think might like me, can you let me
  know? He can be older and I don't care if he's white, black or a native.
  Just so long as his heart is good."

     I'm smiling. "A good heart? That's up to you to find out."

     "All I need is a little help. Since I'm under aged, it has to be another
  boy so we can't get each other into trouble if you know what I mean?"

     "Yeah. I do. Let me tell you about something I've just thought of. When
  Jes and I have established ourselves in the tribe, we can invite youths like
  yourself on a camping trip. Their parents will know that their sons are gay
  and wanting us to help them with it. We'll use that outing to talk about
  things and some of you could pair up. Wouldn't that be nice?"

     "Do you think it could work?" asks Sings-as-a-raven.

     "I don't know. Maybe it would only happen if the boys were close to being
  eighteen or older so people won't worry that I'm gonna molest their little
  boy or something."

     Sings-as-a-raven giggles. "You didn't do anything with me. I tried."

     I'm also laughing. "I was very tempted to."

     "Really?"

     The boy eyes my hard cock. I'm feeling the urge for a wet hug between us
  but I manage to control myself.

     "We're not going to be able to return to grandfather's trailer like this.
  He'll suspect something like you've said. Can I just do it quick? You don't
  have to watch me."

     "Okay..." The boy turns around. My eyes go to his cute little behind. It
  begins flexing in a revealing way. I get to my feet and turn around. Not to
  beat off. I don't want to be tempted into doing something that we'll both
  regret later.

     "You can do it too if you want."

     "I could always take a dip in that cold river to make it go down." I'm
  looking down at my cock. I've release it a few times since last night so
  there's not much lust left in me. Thank God for that! Otherwise, I might
  have taken advantage of this kid as he wants.

     I'm startled when our butts press together. I step forward but the boy
  follows right behind me. He grasps my hip.

     "It's a little cold. Just stand there. Okay? I'm almost... done."

     I stand unmoving. Sings-as-a-raven lets go of my hip. I almost thought he
  was going to reach around to grab my dick but I'm glad he didn't. His little
  butt presses into my lower cheeks because of our differing heights. It's a
  nice sensation. The boy is humping a lot now. I hear that familiar skin
  rubbing sound as I imagine him pulling over his foreskin. He's holding
  breaths. They erupt from his mouth as high-pitched wails. His handling
  becomes frenzied.

     I'm about to reach down for my aching cock when the boy cries out. His
  butt flexes sharply against me. I don't turn my head as much as I'm tempted
  to. We stand together for a little while longer.

     Sings-as-a-raven steps away from me. I turn to him seeing the relief in
  his eyes along with something else. He looks down at my hard cock. That has
  him grinning.

     "Maybe you are going to need to take that dip in the river!"

     I'm laughing. "We're nearly dry from standing in the sun. I sure would
  hate having to get wet again." Sings-as-a-raven smiles. I lower my left arm
  to cover myself down there to stop any notion in this youngin's head that I
  might let him handle it for me.

     "That thing you're doing with your arm might work. Grandfather's eyes
  aren't that keen anymore. I don't mind looking at yours. It's big and strong,
  different from mine."

     "I'm a white guy. My dick is pink while yours is brown. That's all."

     "Your foreskin has been cut. I've heard it's done to white babies."

     "Yeah. A dumb thing for them doctors to do, huh?"

     I'm reaching down for our clothes. Sings-as-a-raven carries my wet shoes
  by their laces and we start heading back to camp. I'd forgotten to mind my
  feet and don't know if I've stepped on his wet spot.

     We walk down the other side of the hill. I'm glancing at the boy to see if
  there's anything revealing on his face. He notices my concern. I'm given
  exaggerated love eye that makes me laugh. When we near the trailer, the boy
  puts on a plain face. Well, maybe a little bit of a grin shows.

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  End of file: NEWLUV18.TXT               The story continues in: NEWLUV19.TXT