Date: Tue, 26 Jan 1999 16:57:00 +0900
From: Andrej Koymasky <andrejkoymasky@geocities.com>
Subject: priest-07

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I started writing gay stories in 1985 and to now I wrote about 80 of
them. Being Italian, of course I wrote them in Italian. Now, many of my
friends asked me to translate them in English. But my English, also if
understandable, is surely not a "literary" one: I can't know all the
nuances and literary tricks I can use in Italian. I need somebody
revising my translation. Now, I found a person that is kindly helping me
with my stories. But I can't ask to one single person to help me with
all of my stories. So, if amongst you there is somebody (with a good
English style) that thinks this unpaid work worthy, and wants to help
me, I would be really happy. If such a person exists, can send me an
e-mail at:

andrejkoymasky@geocities.com

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PRIEST, FOREVER - 7
by Andrej Koymasky (C) 1999
written the 21st of January, 1995
translated by the author
English text kindly revised
by Alun.

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USUAL DISCLAIMER

"PRIEST, FOREVER" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic
scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family,
opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to
read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, ore
because you think yo really want to read it, please be my welcomed
guest.

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THE OLD MILL

Don Marco prepared the solemn funerals for the old parson and was in the
process of writing a message to send to the Cardinal, when his Eminence,
with great surprise of Don Marco, arrived at the village. The Cardinal
celebrated the old Priest funeral rites together with Don Marco. Then,
after the burial of Don Caselli, the Cardinal went with Don Marco to the
rectory.

"What time was it when he passed away?"

"It was three 'o clock in the afternoon, at the bell chime."

"At three 'o clock exact!" the Cardinal thoughtful said.

"Yes, he just heard my confession and absolved me. Normally we confess
to each other on the evening of Saturday, but the day before
yesterday... What is strange is that he didn't seem stupefied when I
asked him to hear my confession. It seemed that he was waiting for it."

"I would not be amazed to hear that. Don Caselli saw, with the eyes of
God, things that we would not have been able to see."

"I had a serious moral problem, and..."

"He absolved you, right? Now, from Heaven, he is watching over you.
Praise the Lord, because forever is His mercy."

"And great is His name. Thank you, Eminence."

The Cardinal stopped at the Rectory until the Sunday, when he installed
Don Marco as the new parson. He promised Don Marco that he would send a
new vicar to help him. Don Marco didn't know that the Cardinal had been
warned by Don Caselli that he had to leave the parish. Therefore he
sided him with a vicar so that the handing over of his office would be
made to a Priest who knew the parish problems. In fact, now the Cardinal
was sure that the other prophecies of the late parson would all come to
pass in the fullness of time.

Don Marco once again resumed all of his activities and now that he no
longer had the burden of caring for the old Parson and that his new help
was arriving soon, he could concentrate wholeheartedly on the
refurbishment of the Parish.

Winter came and with it the snow. The school, especially in winter,
worked full time. The other activities came to an almost complete halt.
Don Marco prepared the liturgies for Christmas and all the village was
bustling with activities. They were preparing the great crib on Saint
Laurent Chapel, the children were rehearsing the songs under the
Maestro's guidance. The women repaired the vestments and hangings,
thoroughly cleaned the Church and polished the candlesticks.

Don Marco went as usual to visit the old or the ill people, bringing
everybody a good word, a fruit or a small present. He was coming back
from a house just out of the village, when a snow ball hit his biretta
solidly in the middle, causing it to fly off his head. Fresh laughter
accompanied the biretta's flight.

"Beniamino! If I catch you!" the Priest shouted taking some snow,
compacting a couple of projectiles and ran after the boy.

He hit him on his back and on his leg. The boy turned and threw him
another snow ball. They chased each other laughing like two kids, until
Beniamino slipped and Don Marco pounced upon him. The boy still
laughing, engaged in a fight. They threw snowballs at each other, until
they become tired and all white with snow. From their mouths rose white
clouds of their breath. Both Beniamino and Don Marco embraced each other
still laughing. After a short time the laughter, little by little,
calmed down. Soon everything changed as their gaze became more intense,
their eyes filled with desire, their mouths searched for each other and
they kissed with passion, vigour, like two thirsty people.

"Oh, Beniamino..."

"Marco, I love you!"

"Oh, God! I too love you." the Priest said almost sobbing, as a tear ran
down his face.

"Why did you flee, the other time?"

"Don't you understand? Oh, my Beniamino, can't you understand? Also this
time I have to flee. I don't want to, but I have to."

"You don't want but you must? No, I don't understand. Is it because I
did it with everybody? After Giannotto's death, I never did it with
anybody, I swear. I stopped it, for you."

"That doesn't matter. It is not for that reason. What I mean is that I
desire you, Beniamino, but I can't. Forgive me, I just can't." the
Priest said standing up and almost running away.

"It's useless you running away from me! I love you and no matter what
I'll love you forever. I will always be waiting for you." Beniamino
murmured shaking his head with a sad smile.

Don Marco was shaken. He never felt so near surrendering, so wanting to
surrender. Because he felt that, what Beniamino was feeling for him, was
not sheer desire, but true love, true at least as his own love for the
boy. Beniamino said that he had stopped other men from using him so that
he can be true and faithful to the young Priest. Don Marco was feeling
low because he couldn't do the same with Beniamino to be faithful to
Him, his God. Was he so weak in his resolutions? Moreover he was also
hurting the boy, allowing him to feel his love and desire but denying
everything to the boy.

Christmas celebrations absorbed him very much. Several men of the
village went to confess their sins and all wanted Don Marco to hear
their confession, and not the new vicar. Don Marco often spent long
hours hearing the confessions, giveing advice and absolving the sin. At
evening he was feeling dead tired and often he abruptly fell asleep as
soon as he hit the bed. But finally the Epiphany came, the crib was
dismounted and normal life was resumed. Yet the desire to see Beniamino,
to talk to him, to enjoy his smile, to be close to him, flared up again.

Even the bed where he was sleeping - almost as if it preserved the print
of those far away days when Beniamino lay naked and slept there - filled
him with thoughts, sensations and agitation. He prayed with fervour, but
the images of the smiling loving face of the boy and the image of his
beautiful body kept  reappearing in his mind.

The snow was melting and the first spring rains accelerated its
disappearance. The air was still cool but no more icy and it was
possible to notice all around the inkling of the new season. Don Marco
went to clean the chapel of Saint Gregory, whose celebration day was
approaching. He eradicated the weeds, pulled out the webs, completed the
cleaning, replaced the altar cloth and put new candles in the
candlesticks. Satisfied, he set out again on the road to the village. He
was passing near the ruins of the old mill when, without any particular
reason, he felt like seeing its interior. He had passed nearby a
thousand times and he never visited it. He scrambled up to the wooden,
crooked and maimed portal, slipped between the two remaining parts of
the door, penetrated inside and he was flabbergasted. The sun made a
fantastic play of lights and shadows between sound rafters and enormous
webs wet with water droplets, and on the floor a thick carpet of intense
green ferns and moss, gave the impression of an enchanted world. He
advanced feeling almost like an explorer in a new and unknown world.

When he entered into the second wide room, he saw Beniamino. The boy was
at the windowsill of a wide window without frames, leaning out,
contemplating the panorama sloping down toward the valley. The sun
played drawing golden dazzles with his hair. Don Marco never realised
that the light brown of the boy's hair had so many precious reflections.
The neck curve inserted onto the wide shoulders in a gentle line. Don
Marco stopped to look at the boy, moved. Beniamino didn't hear him
arrive. The boy, with a light gesture of his hand, tidied his hair.
Then, at the modulated whistle of a little bird, the boy answered gently
whistling the same tune and laughed softly.

Don Marco whilst approaching the boy, felt his heart beating strongly.
Beniamino, almost as he had the inkling of something being there, turned
slowly, saw the young priest and smiled to him. "You discovered my
secret shelter. Welcome."  he sweetly whispered.

"Do you come here often?" Don Marco asked stopping in front of him and
tenderly looking at him.

"Yes, when I need to be alone. But you can stay here."

"Thank you." Don Marco murmured.

"Marco..." Beniamino said holding out his hands.

The man got hold of them. Beniamino gently, slowly pulled the man to him
and their eyes were magnetised. Beniamino let go the young man's hands
and seized him at his sides.

Don Marco delicately took the boy's face between his hands and murmured:
"You are so beautiful."

The boy smiled, and their lips met and they kissed.

Beniamino slowly unbuttoned the Priest sauterne, slipped it off from
him, spread it on the ferns and moss and pulled the man down onto it,
with himself. Marco, docile, followed him. They kissed again and
caressed. Their bodies searched each other and each felt the other's
excitement. Then Beniamino unbuttoned the other clothes of the young
man, and Marco did likewise with light hands. Little by little he
uncovered the body of the boy he loved.

All was happening as though it was a dream; slowly, gently and in a
crescendo of emotions. And when, in a silent offering Beniamino
presented himself to Marco, the young man finally knew the rapture of
being united with the beloved being. They made love to each other with
calm passion, for a long while, forgetful of everybody and everything.
They knew, by instinct, how to give to the other the maximum of pleasure
and joy. Their bodies, melted in one, expressed in a gentle and virile
dance all the depths of their love. And it was beautiful, or rather,
wonderful. When at last they relaxed, satisfied, they tenderly embraced.
Marco was astounded for how good he was feeling.

Then slowly they dressed again, smiling to each other, filled with love.
"Are you coming to the village?" asked Don Marco, invited the boy to
stand up.

"Not yet. I will remain here a little more. See you later."

Don Marco resumed his journey on the road to the village and felt
light-hearted, alive, strong and sound as he never felt before. But when
he was in front of the church, it was like he was waking up. He entered
the Church, knelt at the last pew and looked at the crucifix for a very
long time.

"Lord, I have betrayed You! I did not keep the promise I made to You.
Yet I liked it. It was great and so beautiful. I now understand I did
wrong. I went wrong towards You and towards Beniamino. Forgive me, I
pray You. Please help him and assist him because he is a dear boy. Don't
make him suffer too much because of me. Now he is happy, but when I have
to tell him, help me tell him in the right way, Lord. Have mercy on your
unfaithful servant. I love You, my Lord and my God. But I love him. Help
me to do the right thing, I beseech You. I am confused. I don't want to
leave You, I cannot leave You, but I don't want to make him suffer. My
God, help me, help me. Have mercy on my weakness. And you, holy man of
God, Don Caselli, pray to our Lord for me."

Don Marco was repented, because he knew he did wrong and he was
determined that the sin wasn't repeated and yet he felt he was in love
with Beniamino. This love was continuing to fill him with sweetness. He
met the boy again the following day, on the church steps. He greeted the
boy with a smile as Beniamino approached him.

"Marco."

"Beniamino, I'm happy to see you."

"I too, Marco."

"I need to talk to you. Do you have some time?"

"For you? Always."

"You are a dear boy. I love you, Beniamino."

"I too, you know it."

"Yes, I know. That's why it is not easy to say, it is not easy to tell
you what I have to say."

The boy looked at him with a questioning air: "Did you repent for
yesterday? It is so, right?"

"Yes, my poor Beniamino, but it is not your fault. You gave me your love
and I thank you for that. It has been a wonderful gift, really. But I
was not worthy to accept it. I have been weak and for that I have to ask
you forgiveness."

"You was not worthy? Why not, if you really love me."

"Yes, I love you. I love you so much, but I gave my word to another.
Before meeting you I fell in love with another and I know that I cannot
cheat on Him, even if I did it earlier. I cannot continue to cheat any
more."

"You are in love with another man?"

"Y... yes, it is right."

"That you met before me?"

"Right."

"Are you really in love him."

"Very much."

"That's why you were so hesitant the other times, right? Do I know him?"

"By sight."

"Who is he?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes. If what we have had between us has to stop. You love me, I know
that. So I want to know who this person is, that such an extraordinary
man that makes you renounce me."

"Come with me then and I'll introduce you." Don Marco said with a smile.

Beniamino followed him inside the Church, "Is he here in the Church,
now?" he whispered, quite surprised.

"Yes. Here He is. You see, it is Him!" the Priest said pointing at the
great crucifix.

The boy looked towards the altar with his mouth wide open, to the Christ
on the cross, then murmured, "Him! It is to Him you promised."

"Yes, I vowed to Him that I would never cheat on him ever. But I have
cheated on Him, with you. I know He is kind, very forgiving, but, you
must understand when I say it is between Him or you. Please forgive me,
Beniamino, if I choose to remain faithful to Him."

"You must love Him very much, then."

"Yes, even if I'm not able to love Him as He deserves."

"But... this is not fair!"

"Why?"

"Because I asked Him to make our love possible."

"But I love you, Beniamino, I really love you."

"But not in the way I want you to love me. Not only, at least.
Yesterday, I believed He answered my prayer. On the contrary, He is my
rival!"

"You have no reason to be upset with Him. The fault lies with me."

Beniamino, continued as if he didn't hear him, his eyes staring at the
great crucifix, "Well, a rival... as if a flea considered itself to be
the rival of an elephant! How can I possibly compete with You, if You
really are God?"

"Are you upset with me?"

"With you? Yes, a little. You had to tell me first with whom I would
have had to compete for your love. That you promised Him! Even if,
perhaps, until a few days ago, I wouldn't have understood. Maybe I
couldn't have accepted. It is hard to renounce to you, Marco, but I will
love you forever. At least, He cannot prevent me from this, it would not
be fair. All right, I stop disturbing you two, then."

"I'm sorry, Beniamino, believe me."

"Yes, I believe you. He cannot possibly give to you what I can... But
perhaps He gives you something else. I hope so..." At this point
Beniamino turned to the crucifix, "It must be something worth while.
Because I love him. Do You understand? Have him dear, therefore. Are You
listening to me? I leave Marco to You but, woe betide You if..." the boy
said bursting in tears and ran away from the church.

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CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 8

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In my home page I've put some of my stories. If someone wants to read
them, the URL is

http://www.geocities.com/~andrejkoymasky/

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