Date: Tue, 6 Sep 2011 23:30:26 +0000
From: Jo Vincent <joad130@hotmail.com>
Subject: Tom Browning's Schooldays  Chapter 14

			 Tom Browning's Schooldays

				    By

				   Joel

			     Chapter Fourteen



I went to see this family with Lancelot.  Two boys, two small girls and a
baby still at the mother's breast.  The father was lying, drunk, in a
corner and the four children were thin.  All had scabs and sores on their
faces and round their mouths.  The two girls started to cry as Lancelot put
cotton gloves on and looked at their faces.  The boys, I think they were
about twelve and ten, looked on sullenly and cowered when their father
roused himself and started to swear.  Lancelot told him sharply to shut his
mouth and he cowered, too.

     Lancelot explained to me that only good food would help any cure but
he could give them an ointment to rub over the sores.  The younger boy did
seem more unwell than the others.  He felt round his throat.  "I fear those
lumps I can feel are not good.  I won't ask you to feel them as I do not
want your hands dirtied."

     The father roused himself again as Lancelot took a pot from his bag
and showed the silent mother what to do.  "That fucking woman cannot hear,"
the man shouted, "How much is that fucking pot worth?  I can get a bloody
good drink with the money."

     Lancelot was tall and stood over the man as he lay back again and put
his hands protectively over his head.  "If I find you've stolen your
children's medicine you'll be in the lockup on bread and water!"

     The man mumbled "Fucking bread and water's better than owt!"

     Lancelot turned to the elder boy.  "Have you eaten this morning?"

     The boy shook his head and both boys began to cry and the elder one
pointed at the baby held at the mother's breast.

     Lancelot swore then.  "Christ Almighty, I should have known!"  He bent
down and took the baby away from the mother.  "Tom, go and get my mother
and at least two other women.  The baby's dead and if we don't get some
food into the mother she'll be dead, too, before the day is out!"

     I ran all the way to the Rectory.  Aunt Matty was aghast at my story
but she was used to emergencies.  She sent Liam to the stable to tell the
coachman to get her chaise ready and then packed food and bottles of water
in baskets.  I said there was no fire in the hearth so Niall and I gathered
some logs from the stack in the outhouse.  Mrs Reynolds sent one of her
daughters to tell Goodwife Benbow, the midwife, to go with her daughter to
the hovel.  Aunt Matty said Liam should come with us and I could see Niall
wanted to as well but she said his job was to find Uncle Dodd as he would
have to arrange to bury the baby.
     I joined Aunt Matty and Liam in the chaise and found Lancelot standing
at the door of the hovel.  "Mother," he said as Aunt Matty got down and was
ready to go in, "The place is jumping in fleas.  Take care and put this on
your hands and face.  You, too, boys."  He handed his mother a small phial
of slightly coloured liquid.  "It's alright," he said as she grimaced as
she poured a little onto her palm and sniffed it, "It's tincture of
pennyroyal and fleas do not like it." I looked at Liam and grinned as I
rubbed some on my face and handed him the bottle.

     "You mustn't put any on for the Village Feast," I said, "It'll keep
all the young ladies away."

     "Why?  Are they fleas?" he said, grinning back, "They might bite me,
you think?"

     Aunt Matty went in and we followed.  She went over to the woman who
was rocking back and forth.  The drunk man tried to sit up.  "Who's that
fucking old witch?" he shouted out, "Bugger off!"

     Liam went straight to him and I was reminded of Jack the farrier's
lad.  A fist connected with the fellow's chin and he crumpled.  "Don't ever
swear at a lady," said Liam.  He turned to Aunt Matty.  "I am ashamed for
you to hear such rough language.  He won't be saying anything else."

     Aunt Matty smiled at him. "Liam, you are my protecting knight.  I have
been sworn at before but you have dealt with him admirably.  You and Tom go
to Constable Rogers and tell him to bring two men.  I think that man would
be safer in the lockup."

     I was glad to get out of the confines of that room.  The two boys and
their smaller sisters were huddled with their arms round each other and
their poor mother was beginning to moan.  I took Liam's arm as he was
looking at the prostrate figure of the father.

     "Come on, Liam, he won't stir for ages.  You should be a
prizefighter."

     "That is one thing I would not be.  I have seen too many fights on my
travels.  But where does this Constable Rogers live?"

     I said it wasn't far, just along the High Street, but the constable
was another drunk and Liam shook his head sadly.

     "I have seen much drunkenness too, and that is a condition I do not
wish to be in either."

     For once, Rogers wasn't too befuddled, although there was a pint pot
on the table.  I told him about the man, the dead baby and the woman with
the four other children.  At least Mrs Rogers was sensible even though she
was suckling her baby - complete with bonnet I noticed.

     "Take that pitcher of milk and two of those cups," she said pointing
to a row of earthenware beakers, "Those poor children will need careful
nourishing.  I wish I could help but you say Goodwife Benbow has been sent
for?"
     We took the milk and two of the beakers and hurried off as Rogers had
to get two other men to help him.  There was much activity at the hovel
when we returned.  Lancelot was fanning a beginning-to-burn log in the
hearth.  Mrs Benbow was there and was trying to get the woman to say
something.  I whispered that I thought she might be deaf as that was what
the man had said.  Liam poured some of the milk into the two cups and the
elder boy pointed to his two young sisters and they drank the liquid
greedily.  Aunt Matty called out not to give them too much or they would be
sick.  The boys drank theirs more slowly and the elder one said that his
mother was deaf but understood signs but all she did was to shake her head
when he held up a hand and pointed to his mouth then at her.

     "That means we should get food first," he said, "But she hasn't eaten
for four days.  May I give her some milk?"

     Liam poured some into the beaker the boy was holding.  Aunt Matty held
the woman's head as the boy put the beaker to her lips and she drank some.
"Liam," she said, "Dip a little bread in the milk and see if she will take
that."  Between them they managed to get the woman to take a little food.
I found more bread in the basket and made the boys feed their sisters; they
also had some when they finished.

     It was then that the drunk father began to stir.  "Where the fuck am
I," he started, "Fucking Hell! Who are all these old crones. Piss off the
lot of you!"  Liam was just about to apply some more summary justice but
Aunt Matty held up a finger.

     "Let Rogers hear him," she said and at that moment Constable Rogers
and two henchman also tried to come in.  The room was getting crowded and
the two men stood just outside the door.  The man began to swear even more
but Rogers just went over to him and lifted him bodily and carried him like
a sack of potatoes outside.  All we heard then was the man's shouts then a
screech as no doubt either Rogers or one of his assistants had silenced him
in a similar way to the cudgelling of that other fellow's ballocks.

     There was more interruption as Uncle Dodd came striding up with Niall
beside him.  I went outside with Liam following me and told him what had
happened.  He went over to the drunk who was sitting in the snow with
Rogers behind him and the two assistants either side.  "If what my nephew
says is true then I must deal with this as Justice of the Peace."  He
addressed the man.  "Do you understand what I have just said?"

     "Who the fuck are you?" the man said, obviously not having heard.  He
looked up at Uncle Dodd who had his big black cape on but had his stock and
bands on show at his neck.  "Some fucking canting old hypocrite are you?"
Rogers's knee came up and hit him in the back of the neck.

     "Don't talk to the Rector like that!"

     The man did shut up as Uncle Dodd told Constable Rogers to escort the
man to the lockup where he would be dealt with for drunk and disorderly
behaviour and for not reporting the death of an infant.  He was roughly
dragged to his feet and almost carried off along the drift towards the High
Street.  He started swearing again then fell silent as, no doubt, he had
received another blow to somewhere soft and sensitive.

     The logs were beginning to blaze as we went back in and Uncle Dodd
went up to Lancelot who was undoing the cloth wrapped round the tiny baby.
"I shall need a death certificate and I will have the child buried this
afternoon.  I don't suppose it has been baptised?"

     "I wouldn't think so," his son replied.  "It's a girl and no more than
a week or so old.  I would say it has been dead two or three days.  I will
ask the boy."

     Uncle Dodd beckoned Niall and the pair went out and I heard him
instructing him to bring the paper Lancelot would give him back to the
Rectory as he had to go and inform the gravedigger.  I and Liam followed
Lancelot to the corner of the room where the four children were now
huddled.  He knelt on the earthen floor next to the elder boy.

     "When was the baby born?" he asked.

     "I think about fourteen days ago but I'm not sure.  A woman came when
my mother screamed then brought that cloth to wrap the baby.  She gave us
some bread but went away.  My father was drunk and went off and didn't come
back until last night."

     "Where are you from?" Lancelot asked gently.

     "From Boston, but father was labouring in Cambridge and when my mother
was near her time we started to walk back but we got lost and reached here
and found this place was empty."

     "You have been truly lost, Boston is quite the other way.  Can your
mother speak?"

     The boy shook his head.  "She tries, but my grandmother says she has
been deaf since birth."

     "How old are you?"

     "Thirteen, Sir."

     Aunt Matty came over.  "The woman is too weak and ill and needs
tending.  She needs to be cleaned as well and we must do something for
those children. I will ask Mistress Godber to nurse her and her daughter
will care for the children.  Tom and Liam can warn her.
 They will need better clothes as what they are wearing is only fit for
burning.  I will send things from my store."

     Lancelot nodded.  "I must write the certificate now but I need to know
a name."

     The boy said the baby didn't have a name and their surname was
Middleton.

     Liam and I were sent to warn Mistress Godber and she said she would
get a bed ready.  She was a kindly lady who had been nursemaid and then
nurse to a family in another village but they had gone abroad and she made
her money caring for those in the village who needed nursing.  I asked if
she knew who had been with the mother when the baby was born.  She didn't
know but thought it might have been old lady Crick who she knew was in bed
now with a bad cough.

     As we were in the High Street I took Liam with me to buy the sweets
for the boys at the Hall.  I got plenty of bullseyes and Pontefract cakes
and a bag full of all colours of boiled sweets.  I said he and Niall had to
have a share and he chose a bullseye each and six Pontefract cakes.  I said
that liquorice was good for the bowels and he laughed and said his bowels
worked well without help.

     Back at the hovel Aunt Matty said she had got the woman to understand
the baby was dead and I gave each of the children a boiled sweet and got
four smiles for the first time that morning.  Mistress Godber had sent two
men with a litter and the woman was carried off with the four children
trailing behind.

     Aunt Matty shook her head as she saw them go.  "The parish will have
the expense of nursing that poor woman and keeping those children until we
can get them to her mother in Boston.  Your job, Tom, on Monday is to try
and find out from the boy where his grandmother lives.  Rogers can have the
pleasure of that oaf's company until he is sober and contrite enough to be
sent on, too.  That doesn't mean a happy Christmas for any of them."

     "Would you like a sweet, Aunt," I said holding up the packets, "You
need sustenance after all that."

     "Tom, you are worse than your brothers. I suppose these are for the
kitchen boys."  She felt in the bag hanging from the belt round her
waist. "Here's a shilling.  See what you can add and make sure Liam and
Niall have a share."  Saying that she took a bright orange boiled sweet and
popped it in her mouth.

     We had just finished our purchases, with Liam bearing a bag of boiled
sweets, when Aunt Matty's chaise drew up.  I said I would walk back to the
Hall and would see her tonight at the dinner.  She laughed and said
anything would be better than the previous night.

     The scullery boys and Benjy fell on the packets with great glee but I
made them take them round the kitchen maids as well who screwed their noses
up at the brightly coloured sweets.  They chose to have a couple of
Pontefract cakes each and Benjy got quite a clout from one big girl as she
heard him say they would be entertained to plenty of farts that afternoon.
Mrs Gray said that lunch would have to be simple as they were all very
busy.  Still, there was good soup and slices of some roasted bird and a
quartered pork pie.  I ate in solitary state then went up to my room to
rest and read.

     I had hoped my new clothes would have been ready but they were
promised for Tuesday afternoon so I would have to squeeze into my very
tight jacket and trousers for this evening.  At least, Benjy had laid my
things ready.

     The guests were expected for six o'clock and Benjy had been sent up to
see I was ready in good time.  He said Mr Clements had also clouted him for
saying that Mary Ann was getting fat and she shouldn't eat so much.  I just
wondered if someone had tried the magic pitchfork on her!

     Anyway, the evening was a jolly affair.  There were drinks handed
round as people arrived with trays of small savoury tarts and biscuits
ready to pick from on side tables.  We all sat at seven and the dinner
lasted until past nine o'clock.  I had two helpings of roast sucking pig
and it was heavenly with whatever had been stuffed into it.  I nudged
Timmy, resplendent in his livery, and asked if he had more ideas and was he
opening a cookshop?  I got a reproving look from Mr Clements who was
directing him and Benjy to hand out the boiled vegetables.

     I was too fat and full to join in the dancing and didn't want to be
grabbed by Miss Barnes or the Squire's wife as a partner so fetched my
flute and joined the little band as I knew all the tunes we would play.  I
whispered to Mr Venables when we had a break that Timmy had been given a
flute and wanted to be taught.  "My pleasure," he said.

     In another interval I sat and chatted to John Mitchell whose sisters
I'd sat between at the table.  He wasn't able to dance as he had a twisted
foot.  He had bravely saved the life of one of his father's hands at the
age of twelve when the bull the man was leading charged him and was about
to trample him when John pulled the rope and distracted it.  Unfortunately
he almost got tossed and the bull broke his ankle and stood for a moment on
his foot.  He was a cheerful young man, though, and worked for Mr
Grindcobbe as a scrivener.  He said he was very busy at work and they could
do with at least one more copier but few lads could write clearly and well
enough, or wanted to train.  I thought of Niall who wrote a very fair hand
and wondered if I should ask Uncle Dodd about recommending him.  He would
have to live in Stamford and whether he would want to be separated from his
brother was something to consider.

     The evening went quickly and there was much merriment as Christmas
favours were handed round at the end each wrapped in bright paper.  All the
lads, including me, had a bright neckerchief while the girls had packets of
pins and ribbons and the older folk either had handkerchiefs or brooches.
Coaches and horses were at the door and we waved and shouted goodbyes to
each other.  Father was very pleased how the evening had gone and I saw him
slip a coin into the hands of each liveried footman.  My mother went to the
kitchen and I heard much laughter coming up from there.  I had two
companions that night to undress me and keep me company.  Both Benjy and
Timmy said how much they had enjoyed everything even though they were kept
busy and Benjy did say he was glad that young Jefferson wasn't present.  We
were not too tired to lie side by side in my big bed and shed our boyish
seed once more. After I had ceremoniously wiped each belly with my rag to
giggled thanks we huddled up together and snored the night away.

     Benjy was awake first and was soon back with two pitchers of hot
water.  He and Timmy had to be up as there was a lot of clearing-up still
to be done and we all had to be ready for church and the baptism of young
Rogers!

     They washed and dressed in day clothes saying they would change to
Sunday best later.  I was too aroused seeing them naked to get out of bed
so I waited until they had gone before shedding a good amount of morning
seed and lying there idly smearing it over my stomach and chest before
deciding I had better rise and wash my spattered body..

     There was much clattering of pans and dishes from the kitchen and
scullery while I was eating breakfast.  Marie came in and curtsied and said
in French that Madam would take breakfast in her room and she would join
her.  Mother and she must have been hungry as Marie heaped two plates with
scrambled egg, bacon and fried bread slices.  She said that when she passed
my father's room he was 'ronflement et ebrouement comme un etalon!'  She
laughed as she said that and having heard my father snoring and snorting
like a stallion when asleep many times I knew what she meant.

     All were ready for church on time and my mother and father led the
procession along the drive.  There was quite a hubbub before the service
started but even Squire Matthews was on time.  Uncle Dodd's sermon was
short and to the point.  He said that Christmastide was almost upon us and
while we would be celebrating with good food and drink we had to remember
the child born in a manger and that only yesterday he had buried a poor
child whose family had nothing.  We should give thanks for our families and
employment even though we might be in a menial position and remember those
whose lives were far worse than ours and we would be celebrating the entry
of yet another soul into the church during the baptism ceremony.  There was
quite a whisper at this and peering down from my perch up in the gallery I
saw the churchwardens stand and hold up their white wands to quieten the
noise.

     All the band were amused as Kate Benbow pulled up her mobcap and let
out a couple of strands of her red hair.  Oh yes!  Her mother and a certain
person's father were brother and sister!

     Uncle Dodd then went to the font and beckoned Mr and Mrs Rogers and
the godparents.  Two were his sister who lived in the next village and a
man I didn't really know but was probably a drinking companion of his.  The
third was Mrs Benbow who had been holding the baby.  At the appropriate
moment she handed the child to Uncle Dodd who started the process of
getting the cup of water from the font to pour on the baby's head and then
asked "What name do you give this child?..." and waited.  Mrs Rogers
whispered something and he said "Luke..." and Mrs Benbow in a loud voice
said "Emmanuel" which Uncle repeated and that was that.  Except two things
happened.  As he bent the child back over the font it's hat fell off and
the whole congregation who were standing looking on giggled.  True.  Not a
great deal of hair but it was certainly not black like Rogers' or his
sister's.  The hat was rescued from the font and hurriedly put back on
though dripping wet as Uncle Dodd completed the baptism.  As he handed the
child to Mrs Rogers I heard him say, "He's truly baptised!"

     We in the band were almost falling off our chairs, not just because
Kate pulled her hat off completely and her mass of red hair cascaded down
to her shoulders, but because who could doubt 'Luke Emmanuel' was near
enough 'Lemuel'!  It was something which would go down in village history!

     As Rogers was surrounded by all his male friends I saw Mrs Rogers
being beckoned to the Squire's pew.  She curtsied and Mrs Matthews gave her
a christening mug.  As she walked back so people dropped coins into it for
the baby.  All I hoped was that Rogers didn't get his hands on it and drink
it all.

     I led the band down again and we were a happy lot as coats and hats
were collected from the choir vestry.  There were many repeats of 'Lem,
Lem' and I was sorry that Robin wasn't present but it was something to tell
him when he returned.

     Uncle and Aunt were joining us for Sunday lunch and poor Uncle was
hard-pressed not to say something about that naming as he was so clearly
amused.  Aunt Matty wasn't so reticent and I heard her say it was the best
service she'd been to for a long time and she could think up a few other
names like 'Pipkin'.  I knew that referred to another child whose father
was reputed to be Philip Wilner who had lodged with a couple named Tomkins
who were always shouting at each other and the wife had locked the husband
out when his temper got too bad.  I didn't say that Robin should have been
'Torqu-all" as his mother had been Jenny Hall and Robin did 'Talk all' the
time.  Weak, but enough to tease him with and get a wrestle.

     Lancelot hadn't been at the service but came in late for lunch.  He
said he had been with the poor woman and the children all morning as she
was very weak and he thought the younger boy might have what used to be
known as King's Evil but it's name now was scrofula.  My mother said she'd
been told that you could be cured if you were touched by royalty, as indeed
the late Dr Johnson had been by Good Queen Anne.

     "Unfortunately, Aunt, that's just superstitious nonsense," Lancelot
said, "We don't know what causes it and we have a few remedies and I'm not
sure they work.  I might give him a weak dose of digitalis but I think its
another case of good food and fresh air needed.  I have read that some
German doctors think a stay in the high mountains helps but we haven't got
anything like that round here, just the wind off the German sea!"

     The conversation turned to happier things and my mother and Aunt Matty
were soon busy checking that all the people who were helping with the
Village Feast had been told what they had to do.  My father rolled his eyes
when they started and he, Uncle Dodd and Lancelot went to his study to
smoke a pipe or two and discuss more masculine things.  I went up to my
room and dealt with my own pipe.  It was getting harder to control and only
seemed to lie down quietly for an hour or two after I had huffed and puffed
and it blew it's own rather thicker smoke than father's favourite
churchwarden.  I just wondered if my pipe would grow more as it wasn't yet
as long as the six inch clays favoured by Uncle Dodd and Lancelot.  Still,
I had great pleasure and sat and fondled it idly while I read more of
Oliver Twist.  I was almost caught with my trousers undone as Benjy brought
me a pot of tea and some small cakes.  We shared the cakes and a good laugh
about young Lem!

     Monday morning my task was to try and find where the pauper children's
grandmother lived.  The elder boy now looked much better.  His face had
been washed and Lancelot's salve had been spread over the sores on his
cheeks and chin.  I found out his grandmother was named Mrs Clayton and she
had a house near the big church in Boston and was a dressmaker but also
took in lodgers who he said were traders buying and selling things from the
boats.

     I rode Blaze to the Rectory as I knew Uncle Dodd had a directory of
Lincolnshire in his study.  I found Mrs Clayton easily in the list of
Boston tradespeople and she did live in Church Street.  I left a note for
Uncle Dodd and decided just to take Blaze out along the country lanes.
There was much trampled snow and it was very cloudy so I didn't go far and
the riding made me erect again although I'd spurted mightily already that
morning.  Nothing for it but to ride home and before the lunch gong sounded
I had pleasured myself a second time that morning.

     After another lunch of leftover pieces from Saturday I went back to my
room as the snow began to fall again.  Still I had Oliver Twist to keep me
company.  I hadn't been settled to reading long when one of the twins
rapped on my door and brought in a parcel addressed to me from the mail
which had just been delivered.  The parcel was very interesting.  It was
from George Lascelles and contained a book, two letters and a legal-looking
document.

     The longest letter was from George.  Our letters must have crossed in
the mail but he had been to see the old woman who had taken Timmy in when
his mother had died.  He said Mother Campion was well and missed him
greatly.  She had two books, both old herbals, and this book was one of
them and she wanted Timmy to have it with her love and best wishes for the
future and she had instructed her daughters that when she passed on the
other book should be sent to him as well.

     The book was well-used and the leather binding worn.  I would read it
carefully later but noted a great number of neat pencil and ink notes in
the margins.  I turned to George's letter again.  He said his brother
Augustus had noted his poor humour and he had confessed all about Black
Jack and what had happened.  Augustus then said he had never trusted Jack
and George should tell his father the whole story as well as their father
had not trusted Jack's father either.  After George had done this Lord
Harford was in tears as was George and Augustus with the ignominy and
baseness of one of their kin.

     The second letter was to me from his Lordship.  He said he was
incensed with his nephew's behaviour and could only offer his apologies and
hoped I and Robin would visit Garthorpe Hall where we would be most
welcome.  He said that the horse, Tarquin, was really his.  He had lent it
to his brother, and also let him take Timmy, as he wanted to be rid of his
brother at the time.  I was to tell Timmy he was as free as anyone else and
if he wished to stay in Lincolnshire it was his decision though there would
always be a place for him at Garthorpe.  The horse was his now and the
legal document transferred the ownership to him as recompense for all the
hardships he had endured.  There was a postscript to the letter asking my
father for his advice on both suitable hunters and ponies and what would be
his prices!

     I took the book and the letters down to my mother.  She said Timmy
would be well- settled here and the book was such a kind gift.  She had
seen a copy somewhere and knew it was consulted by many herbalists as well
as physicians and I'd better keep Lancelot's hands off it until Timmy had
been given it.  She laughed at the postscript to His Lordship's letter as a
recommendation from such an eminent man as Lord Harford would be joy to my
father's ears. "And money in his pocket," I added.  We both laughed.

     Timmy wasn't around as he was helping Mrs Bottom in her kitchen so I
took the book back to my room.  It was odd.  There was no title page so I
couldn't see who had written it and there was no date when it had been
printed.  The print looked old.  I noted there were long 'esses' that I'd
seen in other old books.  There were very carefully drawn pictures of
plants with descriptions, some of them in Latin but it was easy to
translate.  I looked at a drawing of a plant I thought I'd seen.  It said
it was mullein and a preparation could be used for sore throats.  I found a
carefully written note against the entry for some plant called skullcap
which I'd never heard of.  'This as a tincture is good for women after
childbirth'.  There must have been drawings of over fifty herbs and plants
with their uses and then there were several pages of how to prepare them.
If Timmy knew all this he could be an apothecary.

     Father was very interested as I took the book and letters down when
the dinner gong sounded.  He said he would get Mr Grindcobbe to copy the
document about the horse when he returned from London on Tuesday and then
would call Timmy to see him on Thursday morning after the Village Feast was
over and done. He said he would have to make a good list of his best horses
to send to Milord.  I hadn't realised but the first half a dozen of the
brood mares had arrived that afternoon and another ten were expected in the
morning

     I was alone that night as Benjy said he had to be up very early next
day as there was a mountain of work to be done for the Wednesday Village
Feast.  Nothing for it.  I shed my nightshirt as I was warm from the fire
just lying on my bed with no coverlet on.  I caressed my hardness slowly
but I had to hasten my strokes as the wretched thing would not allow me to
delay my release.  I am certain my pizzle has a life of it's own!  I must
ask Robin if he agrees.  I mean about his as well.

     The church clock and the crowing cock woke me.  I vowed not to let my
growing cock be my master.  I hopped out of bed and revived the smouldering
fire with two more logs and slept again until Benjy woke me by drawing his
finger up and down my nose.

     "That snout of yours is the same length as something else you
possess," he said and heaved the coverlet off me.  He laughed.  "I am
mistaken. That thing needs at least two more inches and I wager it'll taken
another four years before it's grown that long."

     Benjy might be older but I was a strong young lad and was able to
grapple him over the bed.  He was giggling too much to resist and his
britches were to his knees in a trice.  Unfortunately for me his stiff
prong was a good inch or so longer than mine so I couldn't make any tart
comments.  Still we did both produce a good outcome so we were quits.  He
then had to complain that I had made him late and he would get another
clout from Mrs Gray. As he slithered off the bed I smacked his bare arse
and said she should give him the same especially with Mary Ann and the
other wenches looking on and laughing at his little dangle.

     "At least I have more to show than that young Jefferson," he said and
I had to agree.

     I thought it best to keep out of the way as there was too much bustle
and shouts with all the preparation for the morrow's Feast with Mrs
Clements, the housekeeper, getting the maids to fold great tablecloths and
get spare cutlery packed into boxes and Mrs Gray giving orders for the pies
and puddings to be counted once more.  Uncle Dodd did come in for lunch as
he said he had been told there was little food for lunch at the Rectory as
Mrs Reynolds was trying to rescue a great pie she was baking and had let
the gravy inside overflow. He said the boys were talking to Lancelot who
was showing them chemical things. I told him what John Mitchell had said
about Mr Grindcobbe who could do with another scribe. He said it would be
perfect for Niall as he seemed a very patient boy.  He smiled.

     "I was not going to tell you this until things were arranged but I
took the boys to see Steven Goodhew on Monday as I said I wanted to talk to
him about repairs to Rass's church.  I saw Liam was looking carefully at
the stone that Abel Munnings was dressing as I spoke with Steven. I know he
would like another apprentice and I think Liam would be interested as he
said he was impressed with Abel's skill.  If Jenny is losing Robin to
school and here that rambling house could take in two more boys.  I think
they are two boys who lost their way but have underlying good natures.  I
will talk to Grindcobbe this afternoon about Niall.  Your father is sending
a chaise to meet the coach at the Stretton inn at three o'clock.  But do
not say anything to Robin and Philip as Steven said he won't say anything
to his own boys until after the Village Feast."

     I said my lips were sealed and, anyway, we would be busy as Mr Corsham
the tailor was bringing our new clothes to see if they fitted.

     "I must see him, too, it is too far to go to Cambridge every time I
need a new preaching gown and Rass has taken two of my old ones as he says
he never has any money to buy new but he always seems to have a supply of
new books."

     Well, all was even more chaos later.  Rowley was dispatched to the inn
at Stretton after luncheon to meet the stage coach; there were a couple of
bangs and crashes from the direction of the kitchen; Mr Corsham arrived at
three in his own coach with an assistant and a wicker trunk full of
clothes; Uncle Dodd rode up on a borrowed horse and said he had been sworn
at roundly when he had sentenced the rough fellow to a month in the lockup
which he had then extended to six weeks before calculating how much that
would cost the parish; my father had to deal with two of the grooms who had
been fighting and young James Goodhew was squirming because he said he had
finished off all the Pontefract cakes and needed the privy urgently!

     Mr Corsham was a good tailor.  All my new clothes fitted well and he
showed how he had allowed extra hems so as I grew they could be undone and
restitched.  James looked a real young gentleman in his two new suits but
did a quick change back to his old clothes as he didn't want any accidents
to happen!  There were new things for the kitchen-boys, too, as they needed
to look smart when carrying dishes to the serving tables.

     At long last we heard the coach arrive with the two lawyers and the
two boys.  Father took Mr Grindcobbe and Mr Lewsey to the breakfast room
first as they needed food and drink before dealing with any legal matters.
Robin and Philip, looking slightly tired, were dealt with by Mr Corsham
immediately as he wanted to get back to Stamford as he had a meeting of the
Town Council to attend that evening.  I took them then to the breakfast
room which was empty as the legal things were now being discussed in my
father's study.  Both said they had much to tell me and show me as they had
had a wonderful time.

     "Smelly place, London is," said Philip, "I don't know how people can
live there all the time.  It's all smoky and there's horseshit everywhere!"

     "Philip," said Robin, "You are not to say that when you tell Mum."

     "No, but it's true and you said something worse when you got a lump on
your shoe on Sunday!"

     "It's marvellous, though," Robin said, "That gas lighting.  It's quite
magical when the men go up and the down the streets with their tapers on
poles.  Mrs Harrison said we had to be very careful and only let the
servants light the lamps in the room 'cause it's dangerous to breathe it."

     "And what were Mr Grindcobbe's nephews like?" I asked.

     Philip sniggered and Robin gave him a punch to the arm. "You keep
quiet youngster!  He's laughing because the eldest one has done the same as
your brother Torquil..."

     Philip had danced out of the way of his brother.  "...His result was a
little girl.  But she's not Robina, she's Rosina!"

     "Quiet, you little hound or I'll tell what you and young John were
doing when we came back to the bedroom."

     "Don't care, we were just seeing who was bigger 'cause he's the same
age as me and we match.  I could tell on you though..."

     Robin grabbed him.  "...I don't care either, but we said you shouldn't
tell Jamie anything yet."

     "He's inquisitive, though, and I think you ought to talk to him before
you go back to school."

     A sensible lad I thought.  I also wondered if one reason for Robin and
Philip's visit was for them to hear that other families also had lads who
helped to increase the population without being married! The important
thing though was whether the buying of Cobblers Farm had been accomplished.

     "Mr Grindcobbe is talking to my father," I said, "Did the bank accept
the money?"

     Both boys laughed.  "We went straight there Saturday morning and the
boys came with us as they were going to show us around afterwards," Robin
said, grinning his head off, "You've never seen so much fawning and bowing
and scraping.  Yes sir, no sir, three bags full!  We all had a glass of
wine, even young Philip!"  His brother screwed his face up and aimed a
punch, but missed as he was still laughing and miming drinking.  "Of
course, we had to wait outside while Mr Grindcobbe and Mr Lewsey went into
the boardroom. They weren't in for more than ten minutes and they said the
whole thing was signed, sealed and delivered and, not only that, the deeds
show almost double part of the pasture land.  Your father will be pleased.
Mr Grindcobbe took us and his nephews for a real slap-up meal for lunch and
even Mr Lewsey was smiling. We had another glass with that!"

     Philip was nodding then looked serious.  "We did note something,
though.  On the board in the entrance hall was a list of directors and
several had been painted out and when one of the clerks saw us looking at
it said it was no good us thinking there might a position as he was certain
the bank was going to close.  We didn't say anything but I showed Robin
later that one name still there was the Honourable Philip Lascelles M.P."

     "I told Mr Grindcobbe I recognised the name and he grimaced and said
the sooner he got the deeds into safe-keeping the better," said Robin,
"That's Black Jack's father, isn't it?"


To be continued: