Date: Fri, 9 Aug 2013 16:43:14 +0000
From: Jo Vincent <joad130@hotmail.com>
Subject: Tom Browning's Schooldays 61

			 Tom Browning's Schooldays

				    By

				   Joel

			     Chapter SixtyOne



The comment on the first use of the water closet set us off in giggles
which only stopped when Benjy said he had news to impart.  Constable Rogers
had at last announced he was leaving the village and all were agog about
who might be appointed the next Constable.  There was news that the horse
thieves had already been sentenced at Lincoln Assizes and all three would
be transported for seven years.  The thieving rogue who had led Liam and
Niall astray was for sentencing next week.  It was thought he might get
seven years hard labour in the first instance but he was also wanted by at
least three other authorities for crimes committed there.  We had to
explain to Cedric all the misdemeanours we knew of.  "My father says a good
flogging never did any harm and there's more could be hanged to warn the
rest."  Cedric shook his head.  "I do not know but the fear of hanging does
not seem to deter those who do offend."

     "My father says too many are led into crime because of want and not
through evil intent," Benjy said.  "The Rector knows this and has set many
on a better path when he has had to judge them.  There's that lad Colly
Potterton who stole those beets and old farmer Croughton made a real song
and dance though the family was starving."  He looked at me.  "The Reverend
told the old skinflint to take the lad on as a groom and pay him a wage and
he ain't offended since."  I thought of Liam and Niall and the way my uncle
had handled their case.  They were good lads who had taken a wrong path
because of little fault of their own.

     Cedric was ruminating on this.  "How does one make right judgements?"

     "Sir, with the magistrates being gentry and those accused being of a
lower station what can one say," Benjy said quite vehemently.  "My father
has a pamphlet telling of those countrymen who were deported for making a
union against the wishes of their masters.  They were tried by the
magistrates who were gentry but there was an outcry and they were
pardoned."

     "I have not heard of that," averred Cedric.  "What is a union?"

     "My father says 'tis when men band together where there is dissent
about work and wages.  He says there is always dissent about a fair wage
and he foresees with all the new trades taking men off the land there will
be more and more need for them."

     This was also new to me.  I did not know of any dissent amongst our
workers though I had heard of the Chartist agitation north in Lancashire
and I remembered my father speaking of their great petition presented to
Parliament most recently.  My father always said he tried to pay men for
the work they did even when the weather was bad or crops were poor as they
had been of late.  He had said he was better off than many as he dealt in
horseflesh rather than corn and there was always work to be done around the
stables.  Perhaps I might ask in Mr Ridley's class about such things, but
then, all my schoolfellows were the sons of gentry if not the aristocracy.

     "I do not know enough to make a judgement on such a matter," Cedric
said.  "I do know that dissent in the Navy can lead to mutiny and that
endangers all.  My father says there is always a troublemaker or two in any
crew.  What troubles there may be I am not sure but from his stories they
would seem to be from lack of good water, when rations are scarce, or not
enough grog!"

     I must say I was more interested at this time with the workings of my
new jakes.  Although all the woodwork had not been completed it looked most
handsome.  The other's attention was also switched as I went and inspected
the pan with its well-carved seat which could be lifted up against a hinge.

     Benjy laughed when he saw me hold up the seat and lower it again.
"Master Tom, Mr Goodhew said boys must be instructed to lift the seat so as
not to miss the pan.  He said not to drop it heavily or the pan would be
cracked.  There has been one calamity already but there was one pan left
over so all are ready but for two to be joined to the pipes flowing out."

     "I hope my father will be instructed in careful use," I said screwing
up my nose.  "He has the habit of dropping things."

     Cedric was amused.  "Who will be his mentor?  I would not wish to be
near when he is told to take care."  He patted me on the back.  "I propose
you, Tom, with your silver tongue and good manners; who could be better?"

     "He is likely to put my head in the pan to see if clears the dirt from
behind my ears he always says is there.  No, it will have to be cousin
Lancelot."  I put my hand on the lever again and a second torrent cascaded
down and disappeared.  I was somewhat puzzled.  Where did the water come
from?

     Benjy said there were three metal cisterns in the loft space and a
pump below to raise water to them.  Steven Goodhew had arranged a pump with
a wheel which would be turned sufficient times each morning to fill the
cisterns.  As Benjy had pumped the bellows for the organ in the church he
was able to tell us that the signal for each cistern was the same.  There
was a 'mouse' on a cord which rose as the cistern emptied and fell when it
was filled so whoever turned the wheel would be primed.

     Although there had been pastries at the Goodhews I was hungry, for it
was more than time for luncheon.  Benjy said if we went down to the
breakfast room he would be ready to serve us.  There was but cold meats
with fresh bread and a sharp and tasty pickle but all gaps were soon
filled.  Benjy said my father had gone direct to the stables and Lancelot
was resting in the parlour.  We went to disturb him and he was not pleased
that we had been first to use the water closets upstairs.

     "No one told me they were finished," he grumbled, "I made do with that
stinking hole outside.  I think my stomach is now behaving itself but I
will avail myself of their comfort before long."

     Benjy said he would not be disturbed if he was accommodated in the
room next to mine.  The floor had been replaced.  I did not say that the
drawing found there had not been replaced but nestled safely in the drawer
of my table.  Benjy went on to explain that a room on the ground floor
towards the side door would be partitioned off to provide another water
closet and that would be completed before the summer was out.  That would
be useful for visitors, here he allowed himself a smile, and those who
would otherwise have to brave the inconvenience of such as the privy
outside.  We knew he meant the indoor servants and, no doubt, there would
be strict and enforced instructions on usage.

     After leaving Lancelot to his silent contemplation and the tankard of
soothing posset he had by him, Cedric and I went back to my bedroom where
we found all our bags and chests had now been brought up.  I was in a
quandary.  I had only a few hours to unpack and repack those things
necessary to take to school.  I rang the bell and Benjy reappeared.  With
his help, and Cedric's interference, I was certain I had everything I
needed.  There was no need to be concerned about too many bags as we would
be returning to Ashbourne by coach as well as riding our steeds.

     Benjy had just made a neat pile of the clothing that needed
laundering, including those nightshirts, when Robin and Freddy returned
from the visit to the Goodhews.  First, they had to be introduced to the
Careby Hall water closets.  At least, to the one which Robin would be
sharing with me!  However they were more anxious to deal with getting
themselves ready for the departure in the morning than in exploring where
water came from and where it went!  As both Freddy and Cedric needed their
chests and bags to be in the room they would share for the night the twins
were summoned from the kitchen and helped Benjy to haul all their baggage
there.

     Freddy was troubled as he had presents for his grandfather but there
was no time to visit him.  All the commotion must have disturbed Lancelot
for in no time he came upstairs to investigate.  Freddy was much happier
after Lancelot said he would be visiting Moss Hall on Friday to find out
how Colonel Neville was progressing.  He would take any parcels with him.
Freddy asked me for a piece of paper and wrote a most elegant letter to the
Colonel saying how much he had seen and enjoyed about his visit.  I
remembered I had a present for Liam and asked Benjy to deliver it.  It was
a packet of three handkerchiefs which had an embroidered L in a corner.  I
added a small box of bonbons to that which he could share with Philip and
James though I knew they were not wanting of their own supplies.

     Robin was now busy making his own chest and saddle bags ready for the
journey.  His mother had given him two new shirts which he said were too
good for the rough and tumble of school and would place them with his very
best clothes in my large cupboard.  I said that with our new tail suits we
should be good for the County Ball.  Benjy squashed that by reminding us
that the Ball occurred in September and we would be at school.  He had been
most impressed, though, as he hung them carefully in the cupboard.  Of
course my flute and box of remedies would also have to be packed.  Lancelot
had brought back a number of bottles from the Apothecary's Hall, including
oil of cloves and newer tinctures of ipecacuanha, arnica and senna, so had
replenished my dwindling stocks while in London.  At last we were satisfied
and just sorted two or three books to take to Ashbourne to read on hot
summer afternoons as Robin laughingly said.

     One of the twins came to inform us there was a dish of tea and
pastries ready in the breakfast room.  We had been busy so had not noticed
how swiftly time had passed.  Cedric and Freddy were collected and we
joined a much-recovered Lancelot who had a small pile of letters in front
of him.  He said he had sent a boy to the Rectory to tell Mr Simpson he
would stay at Careby Hall until his parents arrived back from London.

     "I must visit several of my patients the next few days or I will have
no money," Lancelot said ruefully but then smiled.  "There is a request for
a visit to a new tenant at the house at Wilsthorpe.  It is from a Lady
Benedict, a name which sounds a little foreign.  The house was a rather
grand hunting lodge belonging to a Lord who lost everything at the gaming
table and it has stood empty since I was a boy."  He looked at Freddy.  "I
will attend her on Friday on my way to see your grandfather as well as
another patient at Essendine."

     "Thank you, sir, for being so kind about taking my parcel to him,"
said Freddy.  "If I may return here before I go to my home in the summer I
might visit him then."

     Lancelot smiled at him.  "No doubt that can be arranged and we can
find a way of conveying you to Ipswich.  I will deal with that with my
mother and Mr Browning."

     Lancelot held up another letter.  "Tom and Robin, this is of interest
to you.  That lad Timmy is still in Cambridge.  As you know he has been
lodging with Mr Mead's brother there.  The news is that Mr Mead is willing
to take him as an apprentice when he is fifteen and would train him as an
apothecary.  He praises him for his knowledge already and says he has a
grand collection of plants ready from the Botanic Garden."  He laughed.
"It just requires me to travel to Cambridge to collect him and the plants
but I can also visit St Mark's about another business."  He did not say
'head' but the way he smiled at us I knew he would be getting funds for the
journey.

     Robin looked so pleased that Timmy would be well-settled if he entered
that profession.  "There would be the matter of the premium for his
indenture," Robin said, "Who would be responsible?"

     Lancelot looked rather pensive.  "He has no kin as far as we know but
he has been ill- treated by a member of a certain family and no doubt
certain amends might be made."  He smiled.  "I think my mother will deal
with that, too."

     I followed him up the staircase and went with him to the room next to
ours.  I said my father had questioned me about the journey to France and
we would both wish to accompany him if it were possible.  He said he had
every intention to take Robin and me but would need more information about
the whereabouts of the town of Riom and the chateau where the Duc had
lived.  His friend in Paris was making enquiries but did not know the
conditions of the roads and inns in that area.  To his gratification I told
him about the Johnsons and that as they lived in or near Calais Mr Johnson
might be a useful person to make contact.  I said I knew he had extensive
interests in that part of France.  I copied out what I remembered of their
address but would confirm it as soon as I had opportunity to see them at
school.  He said he would make contact as soon as he heard from me.

     Our dinner that night was more than adequate.  We joined my father and
Lancelot who both spent most of the dinner recalling the wedding and how
they both preferred the country for living.  I did venture to ask my father
if he approved of our new water closets.  He laughed and said he would
await judgement until my mother was home.  He winked and did say that a
gentleman could smoke and read a newsheet while...  He never finished that
sentence as Mr Clements entered and was most agitated.  There was another
fire in the village and cousin Lancelot was needed as two children were
gasping for breath and the mother had burned her hands.

     Lancelot bid us goodnight and, in case he was not present in the
morning, wished us a safe journey.

     My father said we three older boys could partake of a glass of port to
keep him company.  Cedric had a pipe as well but Freddy was soon yawning
and Benjy was summoned to see him to bed.  We were told the coach would be
ready to leave by nine in the morning.  Peters would be driving with one of
the stablelads promoted to assistant coachman.

     Before retiring to bed we checked that all was packed ready for the
morning and I made sure I had the letter Rosamund had given me from
Geoffrey Lascelles for his brother was safely placed in my saddle-bag.

     Morning came too soon as I was awakened just as I was experiencing a
most pleasurable dream.  To be honest it was not a moment too soon as I
rushed to the new closet and relieved myself of what would have starched a
second nightshirt!  Washed and dressed in my riding britches I was ready
for breakfast and hurried poor Robin who seemed rather a sleepyhead that
morning.  True, he had delivered himself of two outpourings the night
before to one of mine so could be a mite forgiven.

     At breakfast Cedric grumbled at the haste of leaving London and now
rushing to school but Freddy said he was looking forward to regaling Lawson
and his other friends with all his adventures.  I hoped he would not
include how he made his wish to visit London but I knew that would be a
secret not to be shared!

     All our baggage had been loaded on the coach as we said farewell to my
father who in his generous way provided each of us four with a sovereign
with the stricture that we should not spend it all in the first tavern we
passed.  Robin mouthed 'The Varley Arms' and got the beginnings of a clump
on the side of his head which he skilfully dodged.  Both Cedric and Freddy
thanked my father most politely and were told they might visit again but
not too soon.  I think Freddy was puzzling over that for a time.  I was
sure he was not used to banter from adults.

     Again we had the use of the Westrup coach.  Two of the wheelwrights
had been making sure it was roadworthy and we had a new set of four matched
geldings to draw it.  Our own mounts were brought by Bobby and another lad
and all looked in fine fettle.  I stroked Blaze's muzzle and he responded
with quiet snuffles and seemed well-pleased to be reacquainted with his
master.  My father looked each over and said he was pleased with their
care.  I did have the chance to tell Bobby that Jabez sent his greetings
which I think pleased him as much as the praise from my father.

     We set off before the church clock chimed nine and made very good
progress right up to lunch time where we stopped at what looked a
reasonable inn.  Cedric joshed Freddy and said it was here he should spend
his sovereign and he would have a quart of best ale as his share.
Good-hearted Freddy was ready to grant that request but was told that the
sovereign should be used for his friends at school though he persisted and
strode to the bar with coins passed to him by Cedric.  I almost said that
sovereign could be my fee for circumcising Lawson the Philistine but then
remembered it was Freddy who wanted to be Goliath.

     We took in turns acting as coachmen with Freddy resting in the coach
when he said he was saddle-sore.  We had told him it was no inadequacy on
his part if he felt he had ridden enough.  At least Robin and I were used
to being in the saddle for many hours and even Cedric took some comfort
from the softer furnishings of the coach than the harder leather saddle for
an hour or so.  It meant my liniment made the rounds that evening and the
next in the inns we stayed at.  As usual we made Freddy squeal as he was
tickled before he cheekily, the second night, caught Cedric unawares as he
was pulling his nightshirt over his head and slapped his bare arse.
"Remember the cannibals," Robin said.  We then had to tell Freddy about
Cedric's threat to eat Jabez.  He was much amused and I think Lawson,
Paulson, Pilbrow or Pritchard would be for the pot in another enactment!

     Natty said he was pleased to be returning to Ashbourne and was most
eloquent about his return visit to London.  No doubt the others in the
stables would hear how he actually stood inside St Paul's Cathedral and a
Duchess had given him a sweetmeat.  I did say it was a present from the
Duchess though she had given it with others to the boys at the Wedding
Breakfast.  He said he had peeked in while we were sitting there and one of
the servers had given him a tartlet and had stroked his cheek and said he
was a fine fellow in his livery.  He said he did not know why he stroked
his cheek as he was sure he didn't have any smudges there.

     We arrived without incident at Ashbourne just before midday on
Saturday.  I thanked Peters and the stable-lad and was told they would be
returning on Sunday morning after the horses were rested but would make
their way back via Melton Mowbray.  There they had to collect a selection
of cheeses which had been ordered by the housekeeper, Mrs Clements.  Peters
said he was not unhappy missing the festivities in Careby that night but I
gave him a half-sovereign which he said would cheer his journey home and he
would see that John Freeman, the stable-lad he had with him, would not miss
out.

     We took Freddy to Matron at Mr Pretyman's part of the House.  She
fussed over him and as we left he was busily telling her about his time in
London.  Branscombe, for we now had to refer to him by his surname,
remarked that Freddy was a delightful lad and he had enjoyed his company
though he hoped he would spread no tales.  Robin said he was sure he would
not but would keep knowledge of silver rings locked away in his heart.
"Goodhew," he said with mock sternness, "I command you to make no mention
of any happenings, especially..."  He stopped then as Robin held up his
right hand and started counted off his fingers.  I forbore from saying
anything as he reached four when I could only think of two.  Cod-kissing
and spontaneous spurting!

     Neither George nor Theo were in our room.  I had remembered to put the
lace with the key on it round my neck so had placed my saddle-bags by my
truckle-bed and sat and waited until the boys brought up my chest.  Japhet
imparted the news that Crowcroft of Prior's House had not returned as he
was gravely ill and three others were already in the Sick Room with the
chicken-pox.  Cheerful news to return to!  I did learn that all in our
House seemed to be in rude health.  When they left I quickly unpacked my
school clothes and went down to the washroom to rid myself of the dirt of
the journey.  Young Potts was there stoking the fires under the coppers for
there was to be football that afternoon though some fellows had wanted to
start playing cricket.  The good hot water soon cleansed me and as I washed
both Branscombe and Robin came in and made their ablutions.  "Luncheon
soon," said Branscombe as he combed through his damp hair and then patted
his belly.

     Both George and Theo were back from classes and in the room when I
returned there.  I was bundled onto the bed and given a mock thrashing with
the toasting-fork for not arriving back to school on the proper day.  After
making enough noise to please them I was told I would be questioned after
their hunger, or more importantly, George's need for sustenance was
satisfied.  I did hand George the missive from his brother but even that
did not prevent him from demanding I pay him the postage he was sure his
brother had given me to place the letter in the mail.  He was sure it would
have reached him at least two days ago if I had done so.  I said if he
abused me I would not tell him about his brother and my cousin Rosamund,
who had given me it, and would write to her and say she should keep clear
of such a family of ruffians.  I immediately feared it was a wrong thing to
say as Black Jack was kin to George.  However, he just laughed and said his
ancestors were well-known for their feuds and fights and had a great
reputation for increasing their land by marrying off their sons to the
daughters of the defeated.  I then said I was sure another courtship was in
progress but Rosamund was certainly not from a vanquished family.  Theo
interrupted to say that if we did not go down to luncheon George would be
vanquished on the football field through weakness from lack of food.

     I was led down the stairs by a laughing George who had now discerned
the rather cryptic comments in the letter he had received to how welcomed
Geoffrey had been into the Wright household and hoped it might continue.
"So you think Geoffrey is hooked?" he asked as we passed Pullen's empty
abode.  I said the signs I had noted were like those of a poor trout being
taken by a good bait.  I forbore from saying 'fat worm' as that would cast
an aspersion on my lovable cousin Rosamund.  George laughed even more and
said he was glad the old bugger would be well-settled.

     At table I was welcomed quite effusively by several of the older
fellows who already were listening to Robin and Branscombe recounting the
sights in the Cathedral.  Two of them had seen the announcement in the
newspaper and others wished to know if there were any more sisters
available for unattached older brothers but Branscombe said it was enough
having one brother-in-law and a nephew in school without any more.
Branscombe winked at George but didn't mention his brother and my cousin.

     What I had not been apprised of was the Sing-Song to be held tonight
as the first Saturday of term.  It was no matter for both Robin and I could
repeat enough of the melodies we already knew which always drew applause.
Angus Gordon said he would be ready to repeat the Sword Dance with Farquar
if we would accompany them.  That was readily agreed.

     Almost all the older fellows were to play in the football match
against Carstairs' House and Robin said he would join in.  He was clapped
on the back by George who said he would see he would not need the
ministrations of the physician, meaning me, but I had to be ready as no
doubt with the Carstairs' yahoos in full pursuit some would need treatment.

     Aubrey Bayes said he was to have an extra lesson in mathematics with
Mr Dimbleby and I asked if I might accompany him to their house as I
thought I would speak to Mrs Dimbleby about Freddy Neville.  As we walked
to the house I said how much I had enjoyed meeting him on the visit to
London and seeing the Museum.  He said his father was most impressed with
my cousin Lancelot and was certain the invention would work.  I asked about
the telegraph and he smiled and said all things were ready and he had
improved on the device he and Robin would be assembling.

     At the house I asked the manservant if I might speak with Mrs
Dimbleby.  She most graciously received me and there was an immediate dish
of tea and a slice of cake before I had even a chance to broach the subject
of Freddy.  I had also to tell her of Philip Goodhew's acceptance at the
Royal Schools of Art.  Which one to start with?

     As she had almost finished the tapestry I admired that and so was able
to tell her about Philip.  She said she had received a letter from my aunt
Lady Digby Wright telling her the news but I was able to give more detail
of what Philip had told us of his interview with Mr Eastlake.  She said she
was most gratified that the lad had been accepted as her son Edgar often
wished he had been accepted there but had travelled instead to Italy for
instruction.

     She was even more intrigued about Freddy Neville.  I did say there
seemed to be almost a rift between him and his mother but he was showing
great promise even though self- taught.  She asked if I would be prepared
to be with him when she heard him play and that tomorrow at three in the
afternoon would be most suitable.  She would send a note to Mr Pretyman.
She asked if I would like to play to her now.  I was a little hesitant as I
had not played even while at my Aunt Fanny's in London.  However I tried
another of Wolfgang Mozart's Sonatas I had been instructed on by Aunt Dodd
and Mrs Dimbleby nodded as I came to the end of the first movement.  "You
would be most proficient with more practice," was her comment.  She said
she was quite willing to give me lessons if I wished for it kept her busy.
I did not demur even though I knew I would have to find time to squeeze
another activity into my daily, nay, weekly life!  She said it would be
convenient if I escorted Freddy Neville and over an hour or so we could
both be heard and commented upon.

     By the time I left and reached the path which led back to Ridley House
and also the playing field there was much raucous shouting from the
spectators of the various football games being played.  The greatest noise
though was from those watching the battle between Ridley's and Carstairs'.
I wandered nearer and wondered how rational human beings could subject
themselves to being kicked, hurled about, pummelled and immersed in the mud
which was most evident after the turf had been wantonly destroyed from
their flailing boots.  The ground had not been helped by the downpour
during the night before which, mercifully, had stopped for our last part of
the journey.

     I saw, or think I saw, a very muddied Robin, though from a distance it
could have been any one of the half dozen or so emerging from the latest
scrimmage.  I did see George who gave the heavy leather ball a mighty kick
which set off a run of those not thrashing around in the mud.  "Up! Up!"
was the general cry.  I did the opposite and went down to the lane leading
to the village and Mrs Williams' shop.  I knew that everyone was fond of
her gingerbread so I bought six good slices of that as well as several
good-sized pastries.  These would be my contribution to the festivities
after the Sing-Song.  Japhet was helping his mother serve as there were a
number from other Houses wanting supplies for the evening.  He said he had
instruction from Master Lascelles to collect sausages from Mr Thacker's
butcher's shop and to have them cooked ready for when the Sing-Song was
over.  Good!

     As I returned to Ridley House so the games were ending.  I watched as
the various groups left to go to their Houses and grinned to myself as the
most bedraggled and muddied crew staggered towards our washroom.  I heard
Collett shouting that he needed the hottest water for he had landed in a
cow pat.  This must have been deposited by one of the herd allowed onto the
field to graze while we we away on the Easter holiday.  Radcliffe was a
more than muddied sight and in a predicament as half of his football
drawers had been torn away and he was clutching them to preserve his
modesty.  I grinned even more at that as Radcliffe usually showed no
modesty with the size of that more than boyish peg of his!  Robin and
Maitland brought up the rear of the pack and it was a marvel that either
could see where they were trudging as both had faces covered in mud.  I did
not follow but heard one call out it had been a fine game and there had
been a draw, so neither team had won.  That would mean another skirmish
between these modern knights!

     The door to the stairs was open and a snoring Pullen was sprawled in
his chair with a pint pot of some concoction near at hand.  If only I had
that box of paints I would have willingly pulled down his undone britches
and coloured his pizzle green or blue.  I shook my head.  Here was our
supposed guard drunk and quite incapable!

     I deposited my purchases in the cupboard in our room and retrieved my
apothecary's box from my chest as well as my flute.  I put the flute
together and played a few of the tunes we would be asked for this evening
and was just finishing 'The Hunt Was Up' when Theo returned.  He had been
to see his friend in Prior's House, who also came from Peterborough, and
needed help with some Greek which he had been set for the holiday but had
neglected to deal with.  He said his holiday from school had been
uneventful though his brother, the curate, was home and said he should make
sure he didn't make the Church his career as there was a shortage of good
livings and little preferment.  He was glad he had one more year at school
as that would give him time to consider this future.  "I am undecided
whether to go to Oxford which my father says he would prefer as he has had
to take action over Statutes and Regulations at Cambridge.  This has upset,
as you can imagine, some of the colleges who seem also to be at war with
the townspeople at the best of times."

     I said I would, no doubt, be destined for Cambridge because of the
connections with my family.  Theo was interested to learn that my cousin,
Erasmus, was to be a Fellow at St Mark's.

     "My father is quite open about that college as my brother Percy
studied Law there," Theo said with a grin.  "There is no confidence broken
if I tell you my father thinks highly of some of the Fellows though as
Visitor to the college he has had to arbitrate over several disputes over
the last year or so.  I heard him complaining to Percy, who has also been
visiting us, that some Fellows should look to their studies rather than
their gullets and bellies."

     I told him of my cousin's comments about the stoutness of one deceased
Fellow.  He laughed and said he had heard the story, too.

     "All being said," he continued, "They have a mighty cellar and my
father has been appeased more than once by a gift of a case of best claret
or madeira.  He says that does not influence his judgements but helps him
meditate upon the right outcome!"

     I wondered if I should mention the possible journey to France but Theo
was in full flow.

     "St Mark's has another recommendation so father says and that is a
grand liqueur which they call St Mark's Fire.  It is something a Frenchman
taught them to make and both father and Percy praise it most highly.  It is
only brought out on special occasions and Percy says though he only tasted
it once its memory lingers with him still."

     Perhaps I might tell him about my cousin's involvement with its future
distillation but that would have to be at another time as the usual
commotion of returning warriors could be heard.  The door was flung open
and a rather battered and somewhat bloodied George came limping in.  Both
Theo and I stood and Theo pushed a chair towards him.  I could see then
that the blood was dried on his eyebrow and nose and the damage seemed
slight.  He was followed in by at least four others until the room was
crowded.  I saw Robin with a redness around one eye which would soon turn
black.  Maitland was holding his left wrist and Angus Gordon his jaw. The
burly figure of Preston almost blocked the door and he was laughing.

     "These poor souls need the physician," he bellowed, "I fear there are
more below with Radcliffe and Pattinson clutching parts which are
unmentionable!"

     "You are not wounded?" enquired Theo of him.

     "No, my dear fellow, I am made of sterner stuff," Preston said beating
his chest.

     I saw George was wincing, not only at Preston's demonstration but for
something which was troubling him.

     I opened my box which I had placed on the bed to be easy of access.
"Where are you hurting?" I asked George.

     "All over," he muttered, then louder, "My leg.  Let me lower my
britches."

     There was a respectful silence as George stood and undid the garment
which fell to his knees.  My, his thigh was most bruised!  I had the pot of
arnica opened and rapidly brushed the cooling liquid over the redness.  He
sighed as the sting diminished.

     "Now my elbow, please," he said holding up his arm and doffing, with
some difficulty the Norfolk jacket he was wearing.  He pulled up the sleeve
of his shirt and another bruised appendage was displayed.  More arnica was
applied and he sat again and watched as I went the rounds of the other
afflicted.  All were bruised in various places with Lawson Major displaying
his rump where a Carstairs' boot had made its mark much to the amusement of
his fellows.  Gordon's jaw was reddened also from a boot but his teeth
seemed sound though there were strange Scotch imprecations about the future
mischiefs which would befall the ruffians of Carstairs' House during the
next game.  In all I think I tended another eight or so who displayed
bruised limbs, buttocks, backs or ribs as one left and another came forward

     It was then two forlorn victims of the contest appeared.  Neither
Radcliffe nor Pattinson had bothered to don their britches but were attired
in just their shirts, underclouts, stockings and boots.  Both had mournful
visages.  Both asked that the room be cleared.  Other than George, Theo and
myself this request was complied with but not before grateful thanks were
given to me for my aid to the others in the general suffering!

     As the door closed so underclouts were lowered and both the young
gentlemen displayed reddened and bruised ballocks.  Pattinson was almost in
tears and Theo put an arm round him.  I did not know him well but he was
around my age and was fag for a pair on the floor below.  I racked my poor
brain about what one could do.  A cold compress seemed to be the best
answer and soon the pair were holding washcloths against their injured
ballsacks.  These cloths had been plunged into the pan of cold water kept
ready for the kettle and wrung out until just damp.  The coldness must have
been easeful for though they were not smiling they were most grateful.
This action was repeated and while the coolness reduced the aches so we
heard from the trio that there was now open warfare between Ridley House
and Carstairs' House as there had been deliberate attempts, nay, more than
attempts, at injury to decide a win.

     "Did you not inflict equal hurts on the others?" Theo enquired.

     George smiled and nodded.  "I made sure one ball I kicked towards the
end of the game felled Villiers.  A clear shot to his cods and he was
writhing in the mud and swore he would geld whoever did it.  He did not
know I delivered that reply to the knee he jabbed into Radcliffe's tender
parts.  Eh, young fellow?"

     Radcliffe did smile then.  "I am most grateful to you for that.
Villiers is too big a fellow for me to tackle.  I was on the ground when
that ball hit him and I did not see its provenance.  I would take care he
does not find out."

     "He received what he deserved and I saw two others from that House
clutching their privy parts after some rough blows they'd inflicted on our
men."  George shook his head.  "We must take great care for our rematch.
There will be more ills for you to cure, my lad."

     This last was directed at me.  I was surveying my box.  As long as it
was only bruises and perhaps cuts I could cope.  If bones were damaged, or
even broken, I would not be able to help.  Dr Dimbleby or a bone-setter
from Ashbourne would have to be called in for their expertise.

     Theo must have echoed my thoughts.  "George, you and others who have
some authority must make proper rules," he said.  "What I observed as I
came back from Prior's House would seem just to be a free for all with
whosoever was nearest to the ball being kicked or hit without any thought
to consequences.  It was not just boisterousness but deliberate hurt was
being delivered.  That is not a game."

     "That is so," Pattinson said quietly, "I was following Preston and
Gordon when someone I did not see hit me square down below.  There was no
need for I was not in the way of the ball nor hindering any of their
players."

     George was looking pensive.  "If we raised this issue of making proper
rules would not we be accused of being cowards frightened by more able
players?"

     "You must talk to others.  Preston is most sensible as is Gordon and
they could not be labelled as cowards by any," said Theo with authority of
his own.  "You must say who should follow the ball and what is an
obstruction to that following.  Deliberate injury to others is something to
be banned as it is a foul thing and that could be called a form of
cowardice."

     George was nodding.  "Theo, as ever you have such good sense.  'Tis a
pity you do not play..."

     "...But I have observed and can make suggestions without prejudice I
am sure.  I could be of assistance if required."

     I said that sounded to be a good scheme and from what was said by
fellows as I dealt with them it would seem that most were struck or kicked
when away from the ball.  Buckingham had been most vehement in his
condemnation of whoever had kicked his backside for no seeming reason.
Both Radcliffe and Pattinson agreed with me and after my examination of two
still bruised but less tender ballsacks they left to apply their own
cooling washcloths in their own rooms.

     With just we three now left in the room I retrieved the package of
gingerbread and with grateful thanks from Theo and an ever-hungry George
enjoyed a slice each.

     As we ate so we also chewed over Theo's suggestion and decided a
conference should be called to decide on a set of rules which could be
adopted without penalising any good player.  One person to appeal to would
be Winstanley as Head Praepostor but he had been absent today as he was
attending the funeral of a grandparent somewhere in Worcestershire so
George said.

     We had just concluded our discussion and were just passing to
contemplation of the evening's Sing-Song when a rap on the door revealed a
worried looking Ham who had three strangers behind him.  They were a sorry
sight.  Of course, they were members of Carstairs' House and unknown to me
but not to George and Theo.

     The biggest and tallest had his hand clutching his chin and showed
that both eyes had been blackened.  The second was wincing and holding the
left side of his chest.  The third was someone I did then recognise.  It
was Graves from Mr Ridley's class.  He was holding his spectacles for his
nose was rather bloody as was his left ear.  That was not all for he also
seemed to have hurt his ribs.

     Graves did smile when he saw me.  He was the spokesman as Ham stood
back.  "We beg your pardon, gentlemen, but we crave attention to injuries.
We have heard nothing but praise of friend Browning and ask if he might
treat us as he has dealt with Lawson and Gordon who are mended enough to be
hurrying to Mrs Williams' shop."

     George was ready.  "Well, Graves, this is an imposition but if Master
Browning is willing no doubt he can practise his arts on you.  What say
you, Tom?"

     "A physician must never refuse to treat," I said with a smile towards
Graves who I had found to be a most admirable fellow in those classes.
Graves was first.  I had a pot of a salve which Lancelot said would staunch
any minor cut or cover an abrasion.  I used one of the small wooden slivers
to apply that both to the side of his nose and to his ear.  I asked the
tall one, who I found was named Allenby, to sit as he said his teeth might
have been loosened .  I pushed on the three he indicated but all seemed
firm so I put a drop of the poppy juice tincture on each and said if they
still ached on Monday he should see Dr Dimbleby.  I said there was nothing
I could do about black eyes and he said he would carry those bravely.  It
was ribs next and I asked if they would remove their shirts.  This they did
with help from Theo.  Both had red patches more or less in the same place.
They did not complain when I pressed on their ribs so I concluded they were
not cracked.  Again arnica was my receipt for the possible bruising.  All
were most grateful and asked my fee.

     I was very bold.  I said I wished for no fee but to see a game of
football which did not provide so many bruises, abrasions and, here I was
quite forthright, blows to the cods which could be most damaging.  Three
heads nodded in agreement.

     "Villiers is on his bed holding his," said the third one, Broughton, I
think.  "He swears he will not play again and he is our most stalwart
defender of the goal."

     "If I may I will accompany you and suggest something for that
particular hurt."  I said this quite deliberately as I was annoyed with
George though I was sure he had thought 'an eye for an eye', or more
correctly, 'a ballsack for a ballsack'.  Lancelot had told me of permanent
damage to those parts which could not be reversed as he had treated a
herdsman who had been ruined when a bull had butted the fellow suddenly.
Lancelot said he could not have more children though he already had five.

     George was contrite.  He did not confess his action but said I should
go and treat Villiers as I had Radcliffe and Pattinson.  I put a bottle of
arnica and others of poppy juice and oil of cloves in my jacket pocket
together with some of the wooden slips and the salve in case other ills
needed treatment.

     It was a short walk to Carstairs' House and I was looked at closely by
several of the members as I was led through a comfortable-looking room with
good easy chairs.  I noted that some of those seated had red marks on
cheeks or jaws.  It had been a bruising occasion for all!  Graves took me
along to a room on the lower floor and rapped on the door.  It was opened
by a lad I took to be one of the fags.  He said immediately that Villiers
was hurt and was groaning.  There were two others sitting by the bed where
Villiers was lying.  They stood as I entered.  One was Baring who smiled
when he saw me.  I bowed my head as he was much more senior that I.

     "Browning, my friend," he said with a smile which set me at my ease,
"You have come at an opportune moment. Villiers needs assistance of an
expert physician and you have a reputation."

     I smiled back and shook my head.  "I will assist to the best of my
meagre knowledge."

     There was a groan from the bed and I saw that Villiers was without
shirt and britches and had a towel across his midriff.  I went over to him.
He was of an age with Baring.  I believe he was in the Sixth Form, too.  He
had a fine fair beard and moustaches and his hair was quite tousled and
there had been a trickle of blood from a cut on his brow.

     "What can you do, young sir?" he said quietly, "I have a bloodied brow
and my balls are on fire!"

     At least he was most forthright.  "May I examine you and make
suggestions?" I said also quietly.

     He waved a hand at the others in the room.  "Go, please, except you
Graves, if you will."  There was a general exodus and as the door closed I
first removed the towel.  If I thought Branscombe had a fine set of
ballocks then Villiers beat him handsomely.  However there was no silver
ring but a general redness especially on his left one which seemed to be
swollen as well.

     I turned to Graves.  "I would suggest a cold compress.  Is there a
washcloth and some cold water here?"

     Both were readily available so I dipped the cloth and wrung it out and
placed it under and around the sore organs.  Villiers sighed.  "That feels
eased already."

     I said he should have the compress changed as soon as the dampness was
warmed.  I warned him that he should consult Dr Dimbleby if there was blood
at any time.  I knew that from what Lancelot had told me about the
herdsman.  I had surmised he meant not when he pissed but in an emission.
Could I say more?  I just said I did not mean when he passed water and
Graves gave a snort.  I then picked up a second washcloth and found the
damage to his brow was slight. I put a little of Lancelot's salve on that
hurt.  I stood back and then changed the washcloth round his cods.
Villiers put out a hand and took mine.

     "You are a most competent physician.  Much more than the old dodderer
we have from Cambridge.  I thank you most sincerely and tell Lascelles I
forgive him kicking the ball.  I had lost my temper and gave that other lad
a blow which I regretted immediately."  He squeezed my hand.  "Did
Lascelles send you?"

     "No, I came of my own accord," I said quite firmly. "However, I am
concerned over the number injured today.  I did not observe the game but it
seemed to have been more of a prize-fight than a recreation."

     He gave a grunt and squeezed my hand again.  "I agree and we must not
let tempers fray when our Houses meet again."

     I freed my hand and removed the washcloth and made it cold again.

     "There is a need for rules of fair play," said Graves before I could
repeat what Theo had advocated.

     "That is also what Theo Davis has said," I averred.  "He has suggested
a meeting of like minds."

     Villiers gave a laugh and winced.  "He is a son of his father.  The
Bishop has made peace in Cambridge more than once.  My father has much
admiration for him."

     We talked on for a few more minutes and the compress was changed once
again.  He said he would be getting up as he felt quite relieved and there
was but a dull ache in those parts now.  My hand was shook and he said I
would be rewarded in due time.  I said there was no need.  I did make bold
to say that all these various hurts increased my own knowledge.
"Especially of such special places," I said which caused both Villiers and
Graves to guffaw.

     As I took up my cloak so Villiers bid me adieu and said he would be at
the Sing-Song and would enjoy my performance again.  As Graves and I came
out of the room there was a silent row of those who had been ousted
earlier.  Graves assured them that Villiers would live to fight another
day, then said that fighting would be banned from the game if he had his
way.
                    
     "I will talk to Davis as well," he said as he escorted me back to the
door of Ridley House.  "There is much to discuss."  He shook his head as
Pullen was looking even at this time of the day most bleary-eyed and did
not even make a pretence of properly greeting us.  "I do not know how Mr
Ridley tolerates that creature.  We have one poor fellow in Bartleby's room
who is terrified whenever that fiend appears."

     What could I say?  I thanked him for keeping me company but he said I
was the one to be acknowledged for my good help and he, too, would be at
the Sing-Song and leading the cheers!

     George, of course, wanted to hear of all that had transpired and I
repeated both Villiers' and Graves' acknowledgements that things must be
improved.  As I had been missing so Theo had set the kettle against the
fire and we had a beaker of tea each as I rehearsed all that had occurred.
I think George was relieved after I said he was forgiven that Villiers had
not repeated his threat to his manhood.

     It was only later at dinner that evening when I was able to talk both
to Robin and to Branscombe.  Both had been joshed again over the wedding
and their new relationship.  I had a cheer from several when some wag
announced I was not only an uncle but a brother-in-law and the three of us
had to stand and bow much to everyone's amusement.

     Branscombe had retired to bed after luncheon and had slept soundly
until woken by the return of Maitland and Robin.  Maitland said he was too
lazy for his own good and would have relished such a good game.  As neither
Maitland nor Robin evinced any injuries I wondered how far back from the
scrimmages they had been but I had seen the muddied state at least Robin
had been in.  Most of the talk then was of the Sing-Song to come and the
comestibles which would be devoured after.  Boys and their bellies!

     It seemed not to matter how many songs and melodies were repeated from
Sing-Song to Sing-Song they were all received with great acclaim.  There
were no newcomers to School for this term so all who had performed before
were called forward.  There were the customary cheers for our Whelps but
the youngsters in Prior's House also caused great enjoyment when six of
them sang a song we had not heard before called 'Hey Ho, the Morning Dew'.
It was said to be an Irish song and Mr Prior accompanied them on the violin
most dextrously with all sorts of added trills and swoops to colour the
words such as 'O Mustard is my brother's dog, who whines and wags his
tail'.  This was a good addition to our general merriment which seemed to
get more raucous as tankards were emptied.  I heard Farquar say after he
and Gordon had reaped great cheers for their sword dance that he had
provided a 'bottle of grand whisky for the fellows in the Sixth'.  I knew
he would be joining that most illustrious form for the next year as he was
destined for the university in Edinburgh when he left Ashbourne.  Robin and
I got good applause for our playing, and with Chapman the accordion player
accompanying as well for all the other songs, everyone showed themselves
most pleased.  All came to an end with George leading the whole company in
the round 'Great Tom is Cast'.

     There was even more merriment after as a goodly number invaded our top
floor of rooms and consumed a good variety of pies, pastries, sausages and
cut meats with more draughts of ale or hot posset to wash them down.

     So the third term of my first year at Ashbourne began.  I had much to
do and much to achieve.  As I lay in bed that night I vowed to keep a
record of my life.  I hoped this did not sound too pompous and then smiled
to myself.  Would I also keep a record of certain boyish pleasures?  I
smiled again as thoughts turned to actions...

To be continued:


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