Date: Wed, 18 May 2005 20:05:55 +0000
From: Jeffrey Fletcher <jeffyrks@hotmail.com>
Subject: Two Jubilees...Part44

This is a story that involves sex between males.  If such a story is
offensive, or illegal for you to read where you live,  then do not continue,
go and surf elsewhere.

This is a work of fiction and in no way draws on the lives of any specific
person or persons.  If there is any similarity to any real persons or events
it is entirely coincidental.

The work is copyrighted (c) by the author and may not be reproduced in any
form without the specific written permission of the author.  It is assigned
to the Nifty Archives under the terms of their submission agreement but it
may not be copied or archived on any other site without the written
permission of the author.

My thanks to John who has read this through and made a number of corrections
and suggestions.  Any remaining errors , grammatical, spelling or historical
or whatever are entirely my fault.

We are back with a character who speaks with a fairly cockney accent,  hence
the dropped aitches,  and Vs for Ths,  and an `ink' in place of `ing' at the
end of some words.

Thank you to those who have commented on my stories.  If you want to comment
on the story then do contact me on Jeffyrks@hotmail.com.  I  aim to reply to
all messages.

Two Jubilees and One Spitfire.

Resume:-   Ross, Trevor's partner of over 30 years, has just died in their
home at Potter's End.

Two Jubilees and One Spitfire.  Part 44.

It was a quarter to three when Zach looked up at Trevor and nodded.  "He's
gone."

They remained still for several minutes, each lost in his own thoughts.

Trevor looked up.  "We must move.  There are things to be done.  I don't
know about you, Zach, but I'm thirsty."

They laid Ross flat on the bed, and went down stairs.  Zach put the kettle
on.

"What's got to be done, Trev?"

"I must ring New Zealand.  It will be late this afternoon over there.  I
think one or two of Ross' family may want to come over.  The sooner we let
them know the better."

"Doctor?  Undertaker?"

"I think they can wait until a more respectable hour.  The doctor, when he
last called, said that Ross could go any time.
  But there is something I would like to do.  Something intimate and
special."

Zach looked at Trevor.

"I would like to lay him out myself; and not leave it for some woman or man
from the undertakers to do it."

"What's involved?"

"Washing the body, and dressing it.  Ross told me what he wanted to wear
for his burial."

"Can I help you?"

"You sure?  It will involve handling his dead body."

"I'd like to.  I love him, my second Dad.  I'd like to do it for you both."

"If we do it sooner rather than later it will be easier, before rigor
mortis sets in."

The kettle boiled and Zach made the tea.  He went into the cupboard where
the drinks were kept, and got out a bottle of whisky.

"I think we need a drop of the hard stuff."

"Good idea.  I'm going to ring New Zealand. Can you get Ross' washing
things, all the things we use when we gave him a bed bath."

Trevor went and phoned Ross' brother.

"His older brother and his wife are hoping to get a flight."

Ross was still warm.  They removed Ross' pyjamas, and together they washed
and dried him.  Ross' body was anointed with their tears.

Before they began to dress him Zach kissed Ross' cock, and chest.  "Thank
you, Ross, for the many wonderful times you gave me."

Trevor then kissed Ross in the same way.  "Do you know, Zach, though we
argued about all sorts of things, we never fell out.
 We never disagreed over something that really mattered."

They dressed Ross in the trousers and shirt that had been agreed before.

"Trev, I think we should try to have an hour or two's kip.  There will be a
lot to do once things get started in the morning."

They left a light on, and with a final look closed the door and made their
way into the other large bedroom.  In silence they undressed and got into
bed.  Zach snuggled up to Trevor, and held him in his arms.  They were both
soon asleep.

All too soon morning arrived.  The next five days passed in a whirl of
activity and decisions.  The doctor, the undertaker and the vicar all
called that first day.  Trevor seemed to spend the rest of the day speaking
to people on the phone.  Zach was kept busy doing various things, and
preparing the meals.  Neighbours called, some just delivering a card, many
with offers of help. Trevor had expected the funeral to be a small affair,
but it was soon obvious that there were many planning to come.  Ross'
brother and his wife were coming from New Zealand.  There was his literary
agent, and people from his publisher's.  There was going to be a
representative from the film company in Hollywood.  Trevor felt strangely
moved when he heard that the New Zealand High Commissioner was also going
to be present.  Mark and Greg who used to live with Trevor in Leytonstone
said that they were coming.  Chris and Ian, old friends since they had met
Ross and Trevor at their midnight tryst at Stonehenge were also planning to
attend.  Trevor wanted the refreshments afterwards to be at Russell's.
 He took up Lizzie's offer to help.  She knew exactly what was involved.
Zach said his mother, Gloria, would like to come to the funeral, and would
also like to help.

Young Trevor and Zach came to Trevor with a request.  "Uncle Trevor," said
godson Trevor, "We'd like to carry the coffin."


Trevor looked at them, and tears came into his eyes.  All he could do was
to nod, and mutter, "Fine!  Thanks!"

"Adam, would like to do it as well, but we really need a fourth man."

They discussed this and decided to ask Greg or Mark.

Ross' brother and sister-in-law were met at Heathrow, and brought back to
Russell's.

Eventually the day of the funeral arrived.  It was another cold crisp day.
The church was packed, with people standing at the back.  Geoff, the vicar,
paid tribute to Ross and in his message referred to death as the King of
Terrors.  Trevor looked up, because he knew he had not used those words in
speaking to Geoff.  Then he realised that Ross must have mentioned them.  A
tear formed in his eyes; it was as though Ross was reaching out to care for
Trevor from the far side of death.

The final hymn sung, the last prayer said, and the cortege made its way out
into the church yard.  As they approached the empty grave a robin fluttered
up from the bare earth, and sat for a moment on a nearby gravestone.  There
was a brief note of winter song, and it flew further off.  The coffin was
lowered into the ground.  As Geoff said the words of committal Trevor
wondered how long it would be before he would be joining Ross.

Back at the cottage there were a host of people to be spoken to.
Eventually the throng began to thin.  Amongst the last to leave were young
Trevor and his mother Lizzie.

Young Trevor gave his godfather a hug.  "Trev, you are coming to us for
Christmas, it's all been arranged.  Come when you like, and stay over the
New Year."

Trevor went to open his mouth.

"No arguing.  It's been arranged.  Just bring yourself, nothing more.
Understand?"

"Yes, Sir," replied Trevor with a smile.

Lizzie gave Trevor a kiss.  "Nothing more, means no presents.
 I am sure you've not even given a thought to Christmas.  You'll have
enough to do, without rushing round trying to think of presents.  Just
bring yourself, that's the present we all really want."

The cottage quietened.  Ross' brother and his wife were staying one more
night.  Zach was to take Gloria home the next day.  They all sat exhausted
in the sitting room.

They began to drift off to bed.  Ross' brother and his wife were in the
other large bedroom, the intervening double doors were shut and locked.
Gloria was in one of the smaller bedrooms.

Trevor and Zach made their way upstairs, and through the bathroom.  They
each undressed in a different way.  Zach always began by taking off his
upper clothes, any shirt or pullover he was wearing. Trevor began at the
other end, taking off his trousers and pants.  He sat on the edge of the
bed rubbing his the top of his inner left thigh.

"You all right?"

"I've got a bit of an ache.  I have felt it several times recently.  It is
the old war wound from Korea.  The doc in Japan said it might make itself
known to me when I got older."


"Let me kiss it better."  Zach knelt in front of Trevor, and opened his
legs.  He gently kissed the scar.  The close proximity of Zach's face
brought a hardening response from Trevor.

Zach felt the movement.  He looked up at Trevor and grinned.
 He took hold of Trevor's cock and placed it in his mouth.  The full
response was immediate.  Zach gave full play with lips and tongue.  Trevor
groaned with pleasure and tried to push Zach's head away.  Zach put his
arms round Trevor and held on tight.  Three minutes later Trevor's love
juice was shooting out into Zach's mouth.  Zach sucked until Trevor ceased
to flow.  "You're still in good working order?"

"So it would seem.  That's the first time for nearly three months."

Zach reached up and undid Trevor's shirt.  "Adam and I'll make sure that it
is never as long as that again."

They completed getting undressed and got into bed.

"I don't know how I would have got through these last few weeks without
you.  I shall miss you when you go back to Birmingham the day after
tomorrow.  But you have your work, and you have Adam.  I must thank him
too."

The next morning Ross' brother and his wife left to visit some of her
relatives in the north of England.  Just before lunch Gloria was ready to
leave.  She stood in front of Trevor obviously wanting to say something,
but not knowing how.

Zach spoke for her.  "Mum wants to make a suggestion to you.  She does not
want you to make a quick decision.  She wants you to think it over for at
least three months."

Trevor wondered whatever was coming.

"She says you are going to rattle in this place by yourself.  She would
like to offer her services as your housekeeper."

"Think it over, Trev," said Gloria.  "But take your time.  There's room for
the two of us in this place without our getting under each other's toes.

"Thank you for the offer.  I shall think carefully.  I'll see how it goes
being alone here.  I don't want to move.  I have been so happy here.  I
know Ross is no longer with me in body; but he'll be here with me in
spirit.  I'll let you know one way or the other before mid-summer day."

He gave Gloria a long hug and a couple of kisses.  "I don't know what I'd
`ave done without you two."

"And where would we be without you," said Gloria, accompanied by nods of
agreement from Zach.

He took his mother back to Leytonstone, and then came back to the cottage
for a final night before returning to Adam.

They sat cuddled on the settee for most of the evening, reminiscing, and
discussing matters relating to the future.

That night they made love.  It was lengthy and gentle.

"I think Ross was with us giving us his benediction," said Trevor.

"I felt he was here too."

***

The next few days were busy ones for Trevor.  He had many letters to write.
He, and young Trevor were executors of Ross' will.  The will was simple,
and already known to Trevor. .  Ross left his share of the cottage to
Trevor.  There were a few bequests.  The rest of his estate was to be
divided amongst his siblings.
  Where a brother or sister had died their share was to be divided amongst
the children of that brother or sister.  He thought if he could get it all
in order then young Trevor and he could confer over Christmas.

There was his own will.  He had left his share of the cottage,
 and most of his estate to Ross.  He now had to think again.  Things had
radically changed in the twenty years since he had made his existing will.

Trevor motored down to Winchfield on Christmas Eve.  He arrived just before
lunch.  The house was decorated for the festivities, and full of excited
children.  Young Trevor and his wife had four children, the youngest of
whom was just three years old.  Young Trevor showed his godfather to his
room.  He was slightly surprised to see that there was a double and a
single bed in the room.

"You can choose which ever bed you like to sleep in.  You know your way
around."

When he came out of his room Lizzie was hovering on the staircase.  She
beckoned to Trevor to follow her.

"This is my sitting room."  She ushered him in a small cosy room.  "It's
where I retreat to when the children get too much.  Whenever you want to
get away, to be alone, or to be quiet, then just come up here.  This is
grandma's special room, and the children can only come in here when
specially invited.  It means it is a special treat for one of them to come
in here.  Would you like a sherry before lunch?"

They sat talking quietly, sipping their sherries, until the gong sounded in
the hall below.

Late that afternoon Trevor and Lizzie were talking together in the large
drawing room when they heard the crunch of tyres on the gravel outside.
They heard the ring of the door bell and the sound of voices.  The door to
the room open and young Trevor led in Gloria, Zach and Adam!

Afterwards everybody said that Trevor's face was a picture, a mixture of
surprise and delight.  "When was all this arranged?"

"At the funeral."

"Whose idea was it?"

"Karen's.  She whispered the suggestion in my ear, and I just went round
arranging it," said young Trevor, with a grin.

The children were for about five minutes taken aback by the presence of two
very dark skinned people in their home, and one lighter coloured.  They had
seen very few such people and never spoken to any, let alone in their own
home.  Once the ice was broken Zach and Adam became the key people in their
Christmas celebration.  They were shown round the house, presented with
favourite toys for inspection, and asked a host of questions.

Karen later said that it was an easy Christmas for her, as all the children
wanted to do was to be with Zach and Adam.  Karen and Lizzie were in charge
of the catering.  They had no inhibitions about asking for help from Trevor
or Gloria in preparing vegetables and other routine tasks.  Young Trevor
was in overall charge, he was also in charge of the drinks, and laying the
table before the meals, and clearing away and washing up afterwards.  Adam
and Zach said it was both the most enjoyable and exhausting Christmas and
New Year they had experienced.

The single bed in the bed room was never used, except as a place to put
clothes and other things on.

"Your godson is very understanding," said Adam to Trevor.

Trevor smiled.  "Yes, he knows the score.  He's like his father,
encourages, helps, but you know it's not his scene."


Lizzie and Trevor spent a lot of time together.  They knew each other's
needs as for both of them it was the first Christmas without their partner.

"It's a pity that Zach and Adam will never have children of their own.
They would've made excellent fathers," observed Lizzie.

"I think it has been an eye opener to them both what a delight children can
be."

"Do you ever wish you could've had children?"

Trevor paused before answering.  "In some ways I like to think of your
Trevor, and of Zach, as my children.  They have given me much pleasure,
watching them grow up, playing with them in their younger days.  Zach
sometimes refers to Ross and me as his two Dads.  He did when we laid Ross
out the night he died."

Lizzie reached over and gave Trevor's hand a squeeze.

On the last night when they were going to bed Adam was in the bathroom and
Trevor and Zach were alone together.  It was obvious to Trevor that Zach
was itching to tell him something.


"Did you know Karen's expecting another baby?"

"Yes, Lizzie told me."

"Trev has asked me to be godfather!"  The broadest of smiles spread across
his face.

"That's wonderful!  The two of you have always had an interesting
friendship, coming from such totally different backgrounds, yet getting on
so well together."  Trevor's face changed to a look of utmost seriousness.
"You know the duties?  You will be expected to bath the baby regularly,
read it stories, give it presents and treats, leave it a fortune in your
will, and of course, most important of all, change its nappies!"

Zach nodded in agreement with all the duties until Trevor came to the last,
when a look of doubt came into his face.

It had been a good Christmas, but Trevor missed Ross.

***

Trevor found the cottage cold and empty when he returned home.
 The Christmas and New Year festivities had in some way blunted his sense
of loss.  Now it all returned.  For a couple of days he could not settle at
anything.  When he realised what was happening he started to pull himself
together.  In the middle of January he went to his first board meeting for
over four months.  He had decided to look in on the apartment, just to
check that everything was all right.  Not that there was any real doubt as
it was cleaned every week!  The man who had the apartment next to his,
joined him in the lift.  Trevor knew the man quite well.  He was a Labour
MP.

"Haven't seen you for ages, Trevor."

"No.  I haven't been up to town for over four months.  My partner died in
early December."

"I am sorry to hear that."  He went on to speak about Ross whom he had met
three or four times when coming or going from the apartment.  "Are you
doing anything this evening?"

"No.  I was not thinking of staying.  Why?"

"I was going to ask you round for dinner at the House."

Trevor smiled.  "Can I change my plans and accept?"

"Of course."

They arranged a time and place to meet.  Fred Mabbitt had been an MP since
1983.  He was a good host, commenting on Parliamentary life, and passing on
some of the rumours and gossip of the place.  The Commons were expected to
adjourn at 10.00pm, and after they had eaten Trevor was able to go up into
the Stranger's Gallery and observe things.  It was not an exciting evening,
and not many were in the House, but Parliamentary government was not all
Prime Minister's Question Time, and crucial voting.  Trevor and Fred went
back to their apartments together.  Fred invited Trevor into his apartment
for a night cap, and after half an hour Trevor left to go to bed.  Trevor
had enjoyed his evening.

The next morning he went off to see an exhibition in the Sainsbury Wing of
the National Gallery, before making his way back to Potter's End.

This was the beginning of a friendship.  Fred Mabbitt was a hundred per
cent hetero-sexual, but like many Labour MPs was in favour of the lowering
of the age of consent, and the repeal of Margaret Thatcher's notorious
Clause 28.  Whenever Trevor was in town, and when the House was sitting,
Trevor and Fred would dine together.  When Fred acted as host they dined in
the Palace of Westminster; whenever Trevor was host they went to some West
End restaurant.  But Trevor missed Ross.

Trevor also visited his solicitor to change his will.  He was increasingly
thinking he would take up Gloria's offer to come and be his housekeeper.
That would mean that she would give up her flat in Leytonstone, but would
be dependant on him for a home.  He decided to leave Russell's to Zach, who
would take care of his mother in the event of Trevor's death.  There were a
few bequests he wanted make.  The rest of his estate was to be divided
between Zach and his godson Trevor.

Early February brought the first heralds of Spring.  In the orchard the
aconites and snowdrops began to bloom.  Trevor decided to take a few
flowers to put on Ross' grave, as Ross had always loved the Spring flowers,
and also Trevor had been notified that the gravestone was now in place.  He
got his stick.  He was now walking with a stick as the old war wound was
tending to make itself felt whenever he walked any distance.  He picked the
tiny posy of flowers, and walked across the green to the church and its
graveyard.  It was a bright sunny day with a strong wind driving the few
clouds in haste across the sky.  He went towards the grave.  A robin
fluttered up from the ground and stood on the headstone, with its head on
one side observing Trevor.

"Hi, old chap.  Are you keeping an eye on him for me?"

The bird twittered briefly, and flew onto another nearby grave stone, still
watching Trevor.

He looked at the stone.  It had the words, `Ross James, 1929-1997 Author',
inscribed on it.  Underneath the lettering was an empty space for the
addition of `Trevor Russell, 1932 to ?'  and `In death they were not
divided.'

Trevor bent down and placed the flowers on the grave.  He stood in silence
remembering.  His eyes moistened, but he was not sure if that was not the
wind.  He decided to go into the church.  He went in, shutting the door and
went and sat in a pew half way down the aisle.  Trevor was immediately
conscious of the stillness.  There was a silence, yet the noise of the wind
soughing in the roof only accentuated the peace in the building.  As he sat
it seemed that there was a great company of silent people around him.

The latch on the door clicked and someone came in.  Trevor turned to see
Geoff, the vicar, coming down the aisle.

"Hello, Trevor.  I'm sorry to interrupt you."  He came and sat in the pew
in front of Trevor and turned round to face him.  "Do you come in here
often?"

"No this is the first time I've come and sat in here like this.  I brought
some snowdrops and aconites to place of Ross' grave, and also to inspect
the headstone."

"Is it all right?"

"Yea, fine."

"I've just popped across to collect something.  When you're done in here,
come across to the vicarage for a coffee."

"Thanks.  I'll do that."

Trevor sat in the church for a further ten minutes.  He found it a
therapeutic experience.  He made his way across to the vicarage.

The vicarage was a new one, built in the 1970s.  It was built in what had
been a corner of the huge garden of the rambling Victorian vicarage.  The
old building had been turned into flats.

Geoff was a young man, with a young family.  His wife helped the family
finances by working three nights a week in the hospital in High Wycombe.
There were two young children of early school age.

Trevor was shown into the kitchen, and was introduced to Geoff's wife, who
was about to go upstairs to get some sleep as she was on night duty that
coming night.

Geoff and Trevor sat at the kitchen table.

"It was strange sitting in your church.  There was the noise of the wind in
the roof.  Yet it seemed so quiet.  There was no one else there, except for
when you came in, and yet the place seemed full of people.  Yet it felt
comfortable, not spooky.  It was welcoming, friendly."  Trevor ran out of
words.

"I know what you mean.  There has been a church on that spot for nearly a
thousand years.  The oldest part of the actual building goes back to the
twelfth century.  Villagers have been worshipping in that church all that
time, getting baptised, getting married, and getting buried.  Happy
memories, sad memories.  It, in some way, rubs off onto the place.
Sometimes when I am doing something there I am conscious of my
predecessors.  Some approving and some not approving," added Geoff with a
laugh.

They talked further.  Trevor told Geoff of his experience of the numinous
at Tane Mahuta; though without all the details of what had taken place
there.

A couple of Sunday later Trevor slipped into the back of the church at the
morning service.  He was made welcome, as he knew most of the people there.
He decided he would probably go again.

So it was that Trevor became an occasional church -goer at his parish
church.  It all helped, but he missed Ross.

***

Gradually life assumed a set pattern for Trevor.  He continued to attend
the two monthly board meetings.  He got involved with an AIDS charity.  His
business visits to London were often combined with a concert, or a theatre
visit.
 He liked to drop into various museums and galleries for an hour.  If he
wandered around for much longer his leg started to trouble him.

Zach and Adam paid regular visits, and he visited them for a weekend or
two.  He looked forward to their visits.  The two of them always brought a
great sense of fun and zest for life into the place.  There was always a
great deal of playfulness, as well as genuine affection, in the love making
which was an essential part of their visits.

"We come to make sure that you are looking after yourself, and that all the
parts are in good working order," remarked Adam on one occasion.

"So far so good," replied Trevor with a grin.

The two of them were working hard, and doing well.  Trevor noticed how
there were signs of increasing prosperity with the two men.  Their first
car had been a second hand clapped out old banger.  They got a fresh car
each year, always slightly better, larger, and newer than the one they had
bought the year before.  Then it became two cars,
 one for each of them.

"It is going to be new cars from next year," announced Adam.

"I am aim to be into the brand new Merc league before I retire," said Zach.

"My target is a chauffeur driven Rolls," capped Adam.

"The rate you two are going, I wouldn't be surprised if you achieved that,"
added Trevor.

But he still missed Ross.

The Driffield family down at Winchfield continued to keep a caring eye on
Trevor.  Young Trevor would sometimes pick him up and take him down to
Winchfield for a weekend, and bring him back early on a Monday morning.
Lizzie and he would phone each other regularly.

Trevor decided to accept Gloria's offer to come and housekeep for him.  She
moved in at the beginning of July.  It took them just a couple of weeks to
sort out who did what.  Gloria did all the housework, and ironing.  These
were jobs that Trevor disliked doing.  He saw to the washing, and the
garden.  They both liked cooking so they shared that, on the understanding
that the person who cooked did not clear away and see to the washing up,
though that was largely taken care of by a dishwasher.  In the evenings
Gloria retreated to her room to watch her soaps, Eastenders, Coronation
Street, and Emmerdale Farm.  Trevor either did some more work, or listened
to music.  He was still doing book reviews, writing the occasional article
and giving the infrequent lecture.  His taste in television was not the
same as Gloria's!

From the start Gloria had announced that she would be going to church on
Sunday.  Trevor decided he would go with her.  Together they walked over
the green to the village church.  Gloria was resplendent in her best hat.
It was a huge concoction of many colours that would have graced Ladies' Day
at Royal Ascot.  The rather staid congregation were initially
  taken aback, especially when Gloria joined with un-Anglican enthusiasm in
singing the hymns with a powerful and attractive contralto voice.  Within
the month she was fully accepted.  She had baked cakes for a coffee
morning, and volunteered to help with cleaning the church.

Public transport at Potter's End was limited.  Trevor soon decided that if
he was not to become Gloria's chauffeur she would need to drive.  He paid
for her to have lessons, and longed for the day when she passed her test.
This she did on the second attempt.

Karen Driffield's baby was born in the middle of July.  It was another boy
and named Paul, after his grandfather.  The baby was baptised in September
and Zach was a very proud and ebullient godparent.

Christmas was again spent down at Winchfield.  Again Adam and Zach were the
focus of attention for the children, and Zach was to be seen billing and
cooing over young Paul whenever the baby was awake.  He also proved to be
an accomplished nappy -changer, much to Gloria's amazement.

So 1998 ran its course, but Trevor still missed Ross.

***

In Mid February Adam and Zach came for one of their weekends.
 Gloria called these `two bird visits'.  "They come and kill two birds with
one pebble, Zach sees his Mum, and they give you a good time."

When they arrived this weekend it was obvious Zach was not feeling well.

"He's been complaining about a sore throat and head ache for the last two
days," said Adam.

Gloria packed Zach off to bed, a single bed, and proceeded to allow all her
motherly instincts come to the fore, and fussed over him.  He seemed to
spend most of the time asleep.


It was just after 10.00 when the others went up to bed.  Adam had insisted
that Trevor went through the bathroom before him.
  Trevor came back and sat on the edge of the bed deep in thought while
Adam was in the bathroom.

"A penny for them," said Adam, as he came back into the room.

Trevor looked up.  "I was just thinking how thankful I am to you."

"In what way."

"For sharing Zach.  He's your partner."

Adam came and sat on the bed alongside Trevor.  "I need to thank you too."

Trevor looked at him, with a questioning look on his face.

"Thank you for Zach.  He owes you so much.  He often talks about you, and
says he doesn't know where he'd be if it wasn't for you."

"I only bathed him and read him stories when he was young.  Talked to him,
played with him a bit."

"And that was important.  You were his male role model."  Adam put an arm
round Trevor.  "So thank you.  Thank you for making room for me in your
life.  I feel that you love us both equally."

Trevor turned and faced Adam.  "I think that's true."

"You're still missing Ross, aren't you?"

Trevor nodded.  "A lot."  He paused.  "Sometimes the loss seems almost a
physical pain.  I feel so lonely at times.  And I feel so guilty when I
feel that?"

"Why?"

"I have four people very close to me, you and Zach, Gloria and godson
Trevor.  I know how much you all love and care for me.  I know you'd do
anything for me; it seems so ungrateful to feel down."

"I don't know much about these things.  I've never lost someone really
close, either family or friend.  But you lived with Ross for a long while;
it seems to me obvious you're going to miss him for a long while."

"I suppose so."

Adam spoke next with hesitation.  "Zach told me something about Ross saying
something to him about hoping you'd find someone else."

"He said the same to me.  But it is not as simple and easy as all that."

"No. I can't see you putting an advert in a gay mag asking for a lover.
`Retired University professor wants passionate boy friend!' "

They both laughed.

"No, that's not me.  I don't even know how to start looking."


"Were you consciously looking when you met Ross?"

Trevor laughed again.  "No I'd gone away for a few days to do some hard
work.  The last thing I was thinking about was meeting someone."

"What happened."

"I used to go for an early morning swim, just as the sun came up out of the
Pacific.  I was there alone for several mornings.  Then along came this
Kiwi to do the same.  We got talking.  We had a couple of meals together,
fell in love - and the rest is history."

"What about Isaac?"

"Surely Zach has told you the story?"

"Yes.  But were you looking for a lover, father figure, guardian or
whatever?"

"No.  Isaac was just the means of earning a bob or two.  But he was
different.  Kind, treated me as a person, not as a piece of meat."

"When did you fall in love with him?"

Trevor thought for a moment.  "The real early turning point was when he
first took my cock into his mouth.  I was amazed.
 We had an old saying, `boys suck, men fuck', it just was not done for a
man to suck a boy's cock, he just bent his head down and took me into his
mouth."

"What about Kundi?  How did that start?"

"We just drifted into a close friendship, and realised we both like the
same thing."  Trevor smiled at the memory of that first time in the field
in Sherwood Forest.  "Anyway what is this inquisition all about?"

"All three of the most significant relationships in your life happened when
you were not looking for it.  I think that if you are ever to find someone
else it will just happen.  Perhaps when you least expect it. `Someday it
may happen.'

"I think I would find it hard to start a relationship from square one at my
time of life!"

"Get on with you!  You're not that old."

"I'm fast approaching seventy."

"And we all love you more than ever."  Adam lent towards Trevor and placed
a soft kiss on Trevor's lips.  Trevor responded, and they exchanged soft
lipped kisses.  Trevor's arm went round Adam, and pulled him close.  Their
kisses became stronger, and tongues came into play.  Adam's hand went down
onto Trevor's thigh.  Trevor went back so that he was half lying on the
bed, his feet still on the floor.  Adam kicked off his slippers and leant
over Trevor kissing him, and his hand stroking Trevor's thigh.

Trevor struggled free, and kicking off his slippers he pulled himself fully
onto the bed.  Adam responded by get fully on the bed on top of Trevor.
Their crotches thrust at each other, and they continued to kiss.  Trevor's
hands rubbed Adam's back, and then reached down to his buttocks.  He knew
that this was something the younger man enjoyed.

Adam was wearing jeans, fastened by a belt.  Trevor pulled Adam's back
shirt tail free of the jeans, and inserted the fingers of one hand into the
top of the jeans.  He managed to touch the beginning of the valley between
Adam's buttocks.

At the same time Adam undid a couple of Trevor's shirt buttons and inserted
a hand, enjoying the feel of Trevor's hairy chest, and finding one of his
nipples to play with.

Adam grasped Trevor tightly and rolled over onto his back pulling Trevor on
top of him.  They thrust at each other.

Trevor lifted himself and undid the top five buttons of Adam's shirt.  He
pulled it aside.  Adam had no body hair.  Trevor began to kiss his neck and
upper chest, and to lick and use his lips on Adam's nipples.  These
hardened.  Trevor got off Adam, undid his belt, and the button at the top
of his jeans, and pulled down the zip.  He thrust a hand in and felt the
hot hardness of Adam's cock. He removed his hand, feeling the elastic at
the top of the pants, he worked his hand in so that he could hold Adam's
cock.  They looked at each other, grinned, and resumed kissing.

It was now Adam's turn to take the initiative.  He pushed Trevor off
himself, and did to Trevor what he had done just a few minutes before.  In
a state of partial undress they held each other's cock and exchanged
kisses.

"My cock wants to get alongside yours," said Trevor.  He started to push
down Adam's jeans and pants.  Adam helped, and using his feet pushed them
right down and kicked them off onto the floor.  Trevor followed suit, and
soon his trousers and pants were deposited in an untidy pile on the other
side of the bed.  It was one of the occasions when Isaac's strict training
was not followed to the letter.

Their found each other's cock, and thrust together with mounting urgency.
Their hands felt, and stroked every inch of each other's body as much as
they could reach. There were increasingly frenzied movements as each tried
to get closer to the other.  First one was one the top, then the other.
One would break away to suck the other's cock, but when the one being
sucked felt an approaching climax he pushed the other away, and they would
reverse roles.  Neither wanted to climax before the other.

So it went on.  Adam was on top with his cock on Trevor's stomach, and
Trevor's cock was stuck up behind Adam's balls against his perinaeum.
Their spittle mixed with the precum, made everything well lubricated.  They
thrust other, and kissed in a frenzy of moevemnt.  Adam groaned.

"Go on.  I want it, give me your love juice," asked Trevor.

"I want you to come at the same time."

"I'm nearly there.  Go on; don't stop."

Trevor felt Adam's cock convulse and a series of shots of hot cum came out
onto his stomach.  Then Adam felt Trevor's cock convulse.  His spunk did
not shoot out as powerfully as it used to, but there was enough for Adam to
know that Trevor too had climaxed.

They lay on each other, getting their breath back.  They kissed and kissed
again.

"Thanks Adam."

"Thank you.  That was great.  I had forgotten how unpenetrative sex could
be so good."

Much later that night Zach woke and had to go to the bathroom.
 He quietly opened the door of the large bedroom, and looked in.  In the
dim light he saw a dishevelled bed, and Adam and Trevor a tangle of arms
and legs.  He smiled to himself.

Adam stirred, and opened one eye. When he saw who it was he winked at Zach,
and raised a hand to give him a slight wave, before going back to sleep.

***

In 1999 Trevor's church going became more regular.  One reason was the
influence of Gloria.  `I like to get to church every Sunday, come hell or
high tide.'  She liked Trevor to go with her.  The second reason was a
growing friendship with the vicar - Geoff.  Trevor found he could talk
easily to him, and he could air his opinions and Geoff would listen, smile,
and give the other side of the argument when there was a disagreement.
Their discussions, arguments, were exceedingly mild when compared with the
way he had argued with Ross.  But some of the areas they discussed were
personal, matters of faith and ethics.  Over the months Trevor told Geoff
more and more of his story.  He realised he could trust Geoff completely.
Though Geoff was not particularly High Church, he obviously practised the
seal of the confessional even though Trevor never went anywhere near a
confessional box.  When Trevor told him about his rape by Fred, and the
time he worked as a rent boy, he looked across into Geoff's eyes, wondering
how he would take that information.  He saw love, sympathy and
understanding.

"Thank you for telling me that.  It all fits into place.  I just admire you
for what you have achieved in life after such a difficult start."

"That was largely Isaac's doing.  He sorted me out.  Educated me,
encouraged me, taught me to think, taught me German and French."

"And gave you love," said Geoff with a smile.

"Yes.  Possibly that was the most important of the lot.  Even though it
involved activities that the majority of human kind thoroughly disapprove
of, and could have landed him in gaol."


Geoff shrugged his shoulders.  "But is was the love you needed.  It does
not seem to have done you any harm.  It was probably far better than it
would have been being brought up by a guardian who showed you no physical
affection at all."

"I've been very fortunate.  There have been periods in my life when there
has been no one, but Isaac, Ross, and others in between have been a great
help."

"Are you in one of those periods now?  Sorry!  I shouldn't `ave asked that.
I'm being nosy."

Trevor looked fully at Geoff.  "My sexual needs are being taken care of by
two men."

"Zach and Adam?"

Trevor nodded.  "You guessed?"

"I'd wondered.  If the three of you are happy, and no one is being hurt,
then I'm not going to condemn."

"I love them both very much.  They are like sons to me.  That sounds rather
incestuous, in view of what happens when they are around."  Trevor grinned.
"I miss Ross terribly.  Sometimes it is an unbearable ache.  I think he
thought I'd find someone else.  No one has turned up so far.  He said I was
to go ahead if someone did turn up."

"You never know."

"Zach and Adam say they are keeping me fit and in good working order for
when the right person comes along."

They both laughed.

Trevor went on three or four short breaks.  He went to Prague, a first
visit for him.  He especially enjoyed seeing Mozart's Don Giovanni in the
city for which it was written.  He also went to Vienna.  He looked up the
house where Isaac had been born, and only wished he could have sent a
photograph of it to Isaac.  He went to Florence, and spent three mornings
just going round the Uffizzi Gallery.

In September Gloria celebrated her sixtieth birthday.  Zach and Trevor laid
on a party at Russell's.  The Driffields from Winchfield came for the day.
A number of local people, mainly from the church, were there. Zach had also
arranged for a small coach to bring some of Gloria's Leytonstone friends
for the day.  It was fortunately one of those days when the bees `think
warm days will never cease'.  Trevor and Zach had wondered how the two
groups would get on together, the well heeled locals from Potter's End,
with the folk from what could just be called the East End of London.  The
locals, without discussion or deliberate intention, decided to make it a
`day out' for those from Leytonstone.  They waited on the others as guests.
The nearest it came to strife was the contest about who was to help clear
things away.  The people from Leytonstone went home laden with gifts of
fruit and vegetables from the gardens of the locals.  Geoff, the Vicar came
and gave a short speech that showed just how much Gloria was appreciated in
her new community.  For Gloria it was a wonderful day.  She was arrayed in
one of her most colourful dresses.

At the end of the day she hugged Zach, Adam and Trevor, and tears flowed as
she tried to express her thanks to them all.

So 1999, the twentieth century, and the second Millenium passed on its way
into history.  But Trevor still missed Ross.



***

Gloria, Trevor, Zach and Adam came back to Potter's End for the New Year,
New Century, New Millennium celebrations.  A huge bonfire had been
constructed on the village green, and there was a fireworks display.  Much
alcohol was drunk, and nobody stirred until late the following morning.

One afternoon when Trevor was staying at Winchfield he was talking to
Lizzie.  He was telling her about his early days down in Somerset.  He
talked about Harry.

Lizzie detected the warmth there was in Trevor's voice.  "Have you thought
of trying to trace him?"

"I did try once.  years ago.  I went down to Binchcombe, and asked around.
All I could learn was that they had moved away,
 and some vague information about Eric, Harry's Dad having died, Molly, his
widow, had moved up to Birmingham.  I have no idea whether he is alive or
dead."

"Have you thought about seeing if he had died by looking through all the
Registers at the Record Office."

"That sounds a formidable task."

"Not as bad as it sounds.  The registers are alphabetical, and quarterly.
The death register would give the name and the place where it was
registered.  It would be a question of ploughing through.  For further
information you have to buy a copy of the death certificate.  I think they
cost something like £7.50"

"Thanks.  I think I might try that."

"You could look at telephone directories, and register of electors.  They
would tell you where he lived, if he was still alive."

Trevor decided to do the easiest thing first and check through the Death
Registers.  These were in London.  It was a simple but arduous task.  The
actual registers were large and heavy volumes.  There were usually four
volumes for each quarter.  He had to get the one containing the H entries,
take it over to a reading desk, and look up Hearn.  When he had looked he
had to place the volume back on the shelf.  Hearn is not the most common of
names; nowhere near as many as Smith, Brown or Jones.  He soon realised he
did not remember, if he had ever known, whether Harry was the actual name,
or whether he had been baptised Henry, or Harold, or even some totally
unrelated name.  He did form a short list, but realised that was little
help.  He did find the death of a Mabel Hearn in Birmingham in 1980, and he
thought that that might be the person who had cared for him during those
early months of the war.

After an hour of doing this his leg began to ache, so he called it a day.
He also tried the telephone directories in the reference section of the
High Wycombe library.  What he did not know was the Harry's names were Eric
Harold.  He was named after his father, but his first name was never used.
Trevor was drawing a blank.  There was however one outcome of all this in
that Trevor caught the Family History bug and decided to trace his own
ancestry.  This gave him a new hobby.


In the summer Trevor went on a visit to the Norwegian Fiords, up north to
the Land of the Midnight Sun.  He did not like the idea of being away for
so long on his own, so he decided to take Lizzie Driffield with him.  They
had single cabins, and enjoyed each other's company.  There was a German
man alone on the cruise.  Trevor and Lizzie thought he was in his fifties.
As Trevor spoke fluent German he was soon engaged in long conversations
with the man.

"Is your German friend gay?" asked Lizzie one evening.

"I think so.  In fact I am sure .  How did you tell?"

"I think, just women's intuition.  I think he rather likes you."

Trevor grinned.  "You think so?"

"I am sure so.  Don't let me being with you hold you back."

"That is a very naughty suggestion to come from a bishop's wife!"

Lizzie laughed.  "I'm not a spoil sport."

A couple of days later Trevor remarked.  "You were right Lizzie.  I've been
propositioned."

"And?"

"No go.  The chemistry isn't right.  I just don't fancy him that way.  He's
a nice guy, pleasant to talk to, but no further."

Later that summer Trevor paid some short visits on his own to some of the
northern capitals, Copenhagen, Oslo, Stockholm and Helsinki.

Geoff, the vicar, used to call in on Gloria and Trevor from time to time,
and Trevor was sometimes asked to `Pop round for a coffee, and have a
chat'.

"You've been coming to church for some time now, and have become a regular.
Have you thought about being confirmed?"

"I have thought about it."

"And."

"I'm not sure.  You know my life style.  The church does not really approve
of what I have been doing all my life."

"It does not approve of what ninety-nine per cent of us do in one way or
another.  None of us is perfect."

"All sinners and so on?"

"Yes, all."

"There are some things in my life, Geoff, that I'd like to change.  I think
I'd be a better, and more pleasant person if I did.  But my sexuality is an
essential part of me.  If that were changed I'd no longer be me, I'd be a
different person.  And I'm not sure a better person."

"I think I see what you're getting at.  I think there are much more serious
matters than what two men do together in bed.  You're not hurting each
other, and there is a lot of love in your relationships, isn't there?"

"Yes.  A great deal."

"I'd be prepared to present you for confirmation.  You'd then be able to
receive communion.  I know you come up for a blessing, but it doesn't seem
right."

"Do you think I believe enough?"

"Well, what do you believe?"

Trevor gave a hesitant answer, spelling out some fairly orthodox beliefs.

"I know some clergy who have more unorthodox beliefs than that."

"But I thought confirmation was just for kids."

"Not today.  The majority of people who get confirmed round here are
adults.  I've prepared people older than you for confirmation."

Trevor had a number of sessions with Geoff when they discussed matters to
do with the Christian faith.  He was confirmed at a service in a
neighbouring church by the Bishop of Oxford.  Lizzie and godson Trevor
where there, as well as a joyful Gloria, and a not so certain Zach and
Adam.

After the service Lizzie came up to Trevor.  "Several times Paul said to me
how much he would have loved to have been able to give you communion.  Pity
he did not live to see this day."


"I wish he could've confirmed me."

"Perhaps he knows."

***

So 2000 passed into history and 2001 began to run its course.

"How goes it, Trev?" asked Geoff one morning early in the year at the
church gate when Trevor had gone to place the now traditional small posy of
snowdrops and aconites on Trevor's grave.

"I have a strange feeling, Geoff.  I feel I am waiting; and I don't know
what I'm waiting for."

"Is there something you would like to happen?"

"No really.  I am quite content.  I miss Ross, of course.  But my life is
pleasant.  I'm in good health.  No aches and pains or problems, except for
this old leg that aches a bit if I do too much on in it.  I've some
wonderful friends.  Gloria, would wait on me hand and foot given half a
chance.  There's the Winchfield crowd, not a week goes by without one or
two phone calls.  As you know I go down there quite often."

"'Count you blessings name them one by one' as the old hymn says.

"I do, and there are many.  But I feel like winter waiting for spring."

"I hope that it comes soon."

That summer Trevor took Lizzie on holiday to Italy.  They had a week in
Venice, and week in Tuscany and a week in Rome.
 In Sienna Lizzie attracted the attention of an Italian man.

"Well Lizzie, what do you think of Vincento?"

"He is very nice, very charming, and delightful companion; but nothing
more.  To use your words from last year, `the chemistry is not right'.

The both laughed.


Jeff at jeffyrks@hotmail.com

Just one more chapter!