Date: Fri, 18 Oct 2002 19:19:49 EDT
From: RitchChristopher@cs.com
Subject: and-a-time-for-reapin'-2

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                       AND A TIME FOR REAPIN'

                            A story by

                         Ritch Christopher

                                <>


                           Chapter Two


	"...and then, Mother, just at the same exact moment when Jesus dies
on the cross, well then, Charlton Heston's mother and sister were cured of
leprosy! I got goosebumps and tears filled up my eyes. Gosh! It was
wonderful!!"

	"You mean to tell me that your Uncle Webb took you to a religious
movie?" she asked in amazement.

	"Yes, Mother! It was almost like going to church except they didn't
pass the collection plate...and you could eat popcorn...and no one sang any
hymns. But there was a kinda heavenly choir singing all over the theater
with sound coming from all four walls and even the ceiling, I think!"

	"And then, you came straight home?" Mother quizzed, suspiciously.
"Webb didn't take you to one of his honky tonks?"

	"Gosh, no!"

	"And did you behave yourself?"

	"Yes, ma'am, sure did."

	"And did Webb behave himself?"

	"Mother, he was fantastic. He didn't get mad once at anybody. He
treated me like I was his best friend or something." Only the good Lord
knows what she would've said if I told her what happened on the front porch
after we got home.

	"Well, just don't go making a habit of running around with him like
you're his 'best friend' of you'll find yourself on the road to hell...the
same as he," she added.

	"Mother, why do you say those things about Uncle Webb?"

	"Because...listen to the way he talks to your grandpa. He drinks
beer, goes out with loose women, comes home drunk and pitches a big fit
every time your grandpa says anything to him. I won't have you picking up
his ways. They're the ways of the devil!"

	"Who you talking about? Webb?" Grandpa asked as he entered the
kitchen for breakfast.

	"Who else?" Mother replied.

	"You listen to your mother, Jerry Boy," Grandpa said. "Webb is no
good...never has been...never will be."

	I knew it was hopeless to defend my new champion when I was so
out-numbered by the two people that disliked him the most. I was sure that
Webb had had nothing to drink and I couldn't understand why he hadn't come
down from his room for breakfast. Mother had made buttermilk biscuits,
fried some country ham, and scrambled about a dozen eggs. But then, I
didn't know how he or I would look at each other this morning. Would he
hate me? Would he belittle me out loud in front of everybody? I was certain
he wouldn't mention the moonlight or the kisses. I just hoped he hadn't
regretted it and decided to hold it against me.

	Henry came into the kitchen and went to the sink to wash his hands
before sitting at the breakfast table.

	"Henry, are you going to be free to take me to the doctor's today?"
Mother asked him.

	"Yes, ma'am."

	"My appointment is for eleven o'clock this morning.

	"Yes, ma'am."

	"Why are you going to the doctor?" I asked, hoping not to arouse
Henry's or Grandpa's suspicion.

	"I just need him to prescribe something to make me feel a bit
better," she lied. "I thought that Geritol might pick me up, but maybe I
need something a little stronger."

	"Maybe you ought to go see 'Ben Hur'. Who knows? Maybe something in
the film will make you feel better."

	"Ben Hur?" Grandpa asked. "I saw that movie when I was just a
boy...Warner Baxter...that was his name."

	"Whose name?" I inquired.

	"The actor that played 'Ben Hur'," he replied.

	"No, Grandpa, it was Charlton Heston." I said.

	"I thought he played Moses."

	"Well, he did."

	"Mornin', everybody." Webb said as he entered.

	"Mornin', Webb," Mother said, pouring the big gray enameled coffee
pot.

	"Mornin'" I said, avoiding his eyes.

	"Hmmph!" was Grandpa's greeting to Webb.

	"Jerry Boy was telling us about the movie, Webb." Mother said,
pouring hot coffee into Webb's cup. "...said it was full of religion."

	"Some," Webb answered, "but it was more about chariot races."

	"It's a pity you didn't get the same biblical experience that Jerry
Boy said he got from it."

	"Oh, I guess I slept through those parts." Webb said, lying, to get
a rise out of her.

	"I figured," Mom retorted.

	"Webb," Grandpa interrupted, "if you can find time, I want you to
go over the lower south section today and check on the silks. Without much
rain, they may be turning brown prematurely."

	"Yessir." Webb answered. "Any other plans you have for me today?"

	"That'll do for now," Grandpa replied. But check with me when
you're through."

	"Yes, SIR!"

	"Why don't you take Jerry Boy with you?" Grandpa
continued. "This'll all be his one day."

	"You mean it'll all be his AFTER I die," Webb said, rather firmly,
emphasizing "I".

	"I'll outlive you! And so will Jerry Boy!" Grandpa said, topping
Webb's remark.

	"We'll see, old man. We'll see!" was Webb's answer as he banged a
spoon of scrambled eggs onto his plate.

	I held my breath wondering how far THIS morning's argument would go
on. The two of them had words every time they got together in the room for
only a few minutes. I still hadn't looked into Webb's eyes, so I didn't
know what he was thinking or feeling about the porch incident. I felt
butterflies in the pit of my stomach at the thought of going all the way to
the southern fields with him. I suddenly lost my appetite and asked to be
excused from the table.

	"Aren't you hungry?" Mother asked.

	"No, ma'am." I replied. "I got a little bit of an upset stomach."

	"Probably all that popcorn and junk you ate at the movies last
night."

	"Yes, ma'am. Probably."

	I left the kitchen and went into the bathroom. I really didn't have
to go, so I put down the lid on the commode and just sat there with trepid
anticipation. Fifteen minutes later, I heard Webb's voice calling to me.

	"Hey! Hey, Jerry! You comin' or not?"

	"Be right there," I yelled back.

	"Well, come on out to the stable and we'll saddle two horses. I'm
not about to get my car stuck in three feet of cow shit! I mean, exCUSE me,
you all, cow MANURE!!." He went out the door slamming the screendoor behind
him

	By the time I reached the barn, Webb had his AND my horses all
saddled, bridled. and ready to go. I was a bit taken back by the fact he
did that for me. Webb never did anything out the ordinary for anyone, and
here he was doing me a favor.

	"Thanks, Uncle Webb," I said and then he gave me a stern look. I
mean, thanks, Webb."

	"That's better." he replied with a half smile. "I figgered you were
in the bathroom jerkin' off or somethin' and needed more time."

	I know my face must've turned bright red because I could feel the
rush going through my body.

	"Shit, you ain't embarrassed about jerkin' off, are you?"

	"Uh, nah," I said, trying to lower my voice to sound older. "It's
just that I don't do it that much."

	"Whaddya mean you don't do it that much."

	"Well," I continued, lying, "maybe once a month or every six weeks
or so."

	"Good Godamighty! When I was your age, I was doin' it six or seven
times a day...EVERY DAY!" Webb replied. "Once a month? Jesus Christ! That
ain't healthy, boy."

	I looked with him, half believing and half in fear. "What do you
mean?" I asked.

	"You go that long between jerk offs and your balls will fill so big
with cum, they just might explode!"

	"Are you serious?" I asked, wide-eyed.

	"I heard about a couple of them Catholic priests that pretend they
don't ever have sex, went so long without cumming, they're ball sacks just
built up and exploded right under them brown robes they were wearin'. Hell,
one of 'em was in the pulpit when it happened."

	"You're kidding, right?"

	"Nope!" he replied authoritatively. "Why do you think that
Catholics have monasteries or whatever you call 'em? That's where they send
the priests whose balls explode so no one'll ever see them again. I heard
they even start talkin' in high-pitched voices like a woman. That's why
they don't have women in their choirs. It's the deballed men who sing
soprano!"

	I didn't know much about Catholics, but I did know they had
monasteries for monks, so what Webb was saying, halfway made sense to me.

	"So, my advice to you is to start jerkin' off as much as possible,
Jerry, or you'll be singin; soprano solos in that Baptist church your
mother drags you to every Sunday."

	"I'll try," I managed to say. But I was in no danger because I DID
jerk off every day, and now since both of those kisses last night, I
intended to do it even more.  "What about you?" I asked bravely. "Do you
still jerk off at your age?"

	"Nah, I don't have to." he bragged. "If you can fuck at least one
woman every Saturday night, then you can go a whole week without havin'
to."

	I tried my best to understand why having sex with a woman in one
night equaled a whole week of jerking off by yourself. It just didn't make
sense logically.

	"Just wait, as soon as you have your first fuck, you'll understand
what I'm talkin' about."

	I took his words at face-value and mounted my horse.  That was the
end of our conversation as he rode about ten feet in front of me. Nothing
was ever said about last night...not one word and boy, was I glad! I,
surely wasn't going to bring up the subject, especially if he didn't.

	The two of us surveyed all the southern fields for the next three
hours. Grandpa was right. The corn silks were turning brown...much too
soon. That meant the corn ears weren't growing big enough and the crop
would have to be harvested before it was fully ready. It hadn't rained in
over two months. Even the corn stalks were turning white and brittle. Most
of this corn would not be fit to sell to any of the canneries. It would
have to be ground into livestock feed which Grandpa sold for less profit
than the full golden and white ears.

	I could see the look of disgust on Webb's face as he examined row
after row of sunburned cornstalks.

	"Stupid old son-of-a-bitch!" Webb exclaimed as he yanked off a
couple of shucks and threw them on the ground. "I told him a thousand times
we oughta dig new trenches and git new irrigation pumps, but you can't
convince that old geezer of anything. He won't come down here and see for
himself what a mess we're gettin' into. No, he sends me...and when I tell
him what I see, he has a fit and won't believe me. He thinks I'm lyin' and
that I want to sell the farm as soon as he dies."

	"You wouldn't, would you?" I asked, directly.

	"Wouldn't what?"

	"Sell the farm."

	"Hell, no! Why do you think I keep bringin' up those damned pumps
to him? 'Cause I wanna see the farm fail?" Webb said, earnestly.

	"Then you DO care about it?"

	"Sure, I care!" he replied. "Why, if I ran this place, there'd be
water everywhere...and those thousands of acres on the east side would all
be plowed up and replanted with soy beans. There's a big market for
them...and it's gonna get bigger.  We got room to grow tobacco, too, Why,
in a couple of years, this place could be makin' millions...even more!"

	"Why won't Grandpa listen to you, then?"

	"He's a stubborn old fool...and he's a Donahue!"

	"You and I are Donahues, aren't we?"

	"Yeah, but we're younger.  We're the new generation of Donahues. We
got better ideas and can look into the future."

	Once again, I was astonished as Webb revealed still another side of
his character that no one...not Grandpa, Mother, or even me...NO ONE had
ever seen. He really did care about the farm. My hero was becoming bigger
and better in my eyes with each minute since last night. Sitting on his
white steed, he looked like my white knight. Besides Mother and Grandpa, I
guess I loved no one else. But I suddenly loved my uncle. All the bad
things that had been said against him were disappearing right before my
eyes. Webb had a good side that he'd never showed before...and I felt
thrilled that he was letting me see it.

	"I'll help you." I said, in quiet defiance.

	"What?"

	"I said I'd help you! You know, plant soy beans, tobacco, whatever
you want."

	"Well, if the old fart lives as long as he says he's goin' to, then
we won't ever have the chance, We'll be old and senile just the same as he
is." he replied, almost defeated.

	"What if the TWO of us...you and I...went to talk with him,
together?"

	"Wouldn't do no good. He's too old and set in his ways to listen to
anybody. Hell, it wouldn't surprise me if, when he dies,and Saint Pete sees
what he was goin' be up against, Pete'll probably send him right back to
Tennessee and have him take the farm back over."

	I had to laugh at Webb's joke, but then, he really wasn't
joking. Would Saint Peter ever send anyone back to earth after they died? I
wondered if Mother would find that as funny as I did. Probably not. With
her, she took everything about religion very seriously. Since God hadn't
written any jokes in the whole Bible, there was absolutely nothing in there
to make fun of.

	Webb and I took the long way home, primarily, to avoid getting home
to learn of the next chore Grandpa had thought of for Webb to do once we
got back. Instead of leading the way, this time Webb chose to ride along
side of me. That way we could talk...that is, if we could find some topic
that didn't touch on last night's porch action.

	"Why's your mother going to the doctor so much lately?"

	I froze. I didn't want to reveal the secret that Mother had told
me, but at the same time, Webb was becoming my best friend and best friends
are supposed to be able to tell everything to each other.

	"Have you asked her?" I said, trying to see if he knew the truth or
was pumping me to see how much I knew.

	"Nah," Webb replied, "but I have noticed her being edgy lately and
she's lost some weight. Haven't you noticed it?"

	"Yeah, kinda."

	 He looked at me for a moment, quietly."You know something you're
not tellin' me?" he asked, pointedly.

	"Well...sorta."
        "What d'ya mean, 'sorta'?"

	"I...I promised her I wouldn't tell."

	"Then you DO know somethin'?"

	"Yeah, I know everything, Webb."

	"Well, can't you trust me?"

	"I...guess so."

	"Well?"

	"She's sick, Webb...very sick."

	"Sick how?"

	"She's...she's got breast cancer, Webb."

	"My God, Jerry, why didn't she or you say something? Does your
grandpa know, not that he would remember?"

	"No. That's why she wanted to keep it a secret."

	"She ain't dyin', is she?"

	I could feel the tears coming on again and I couldn't let Webb see
me cry twice inside of twelve hours.

	"Yes, Webb...she's dying."

	"God, how long does she have?"

	"Not long...maybe a month or two," I said, my voice
trembling. "Wasn't nothing they could do for her. It'd spread too far
before they discovered it."

	Webb was silent. He let the news I had just revealed to him sink
in. I could see him taking quick glances at me, not knowing what to say
next.

	"You've been mighty brave, little man, carrying that news on your
shoulders. Damn! I had no idea."

	"You gotta promise not to say anything, Webb. I promised her I
wouldn't tell you, Grandpa, or Henry."

	"Looks like things are goin' to be different around the farm real
soon."

	"I know," I said. "That's why I get so upset when you and Grandpa
start screaming at each other. Mother's always there to keep the peace and
calm Grandpa down after you storm out of the house."

	"I can't help it, boy, and yet, I feel guilty if I'm puttin' added
pressure on you just now. I'm sorry, Jerry."

	"It's OK." I replied, "I mean, most of the time...or at least some
of the time, I want to take your side against Grandpa...and after this
morning when I heard the things you said to me about keeping the farm and
planting soy beans and stuff, I wish now I HAD taken your side and spoken
up for you!"

	"You don't have to speak up for me around that old man. I can
handle myself. He and I had shoutin' matches long before you were
born. Your dad was always his favorite.  I've always been shiftless and
irresponsible in your grandpa's eyes...and always will be. He's too old to
change the way he feels about me. He's had an inner hate for me all my
life, I guess. When your dad joined the army and got killed, it broke his
heart and, at the same time, scared the shit out of him that he might die
and have to leave the farm to me. Then your mother came to Tennessee and
you were born...well, then, you were like your dad being born all over
again and your grandpa had someone to leave everything to, besides me."

	"I don't want it, Webb. It rightfully belongs to you."

	"That ain't the way your grandpa sees it."

	"I told you I'd help you. I want YOU to have it."

	"I heard you, but I bet that ain't the way he's got his will set
up."

	"Then, if it's left to me...well, I'll give it to you. You can
leave it to me in YOUR will."

	"Oh? So now you're sayin' YOU'RE gonna outlive me, too?"

	I knew he was half joking, but then, maybe he wasn't. I WOULD give
it to Webb, though. Then he began to touch upon the subject of "last
night".

	"You know, Jerry," he started in a very serious tone, but not
looking at me. "After you went into the house last night...well, you know,
after...well, after what happened between us, I went for a long walk, The
moon was up full and I could see for miles. I walked all the way to the
highway and back and did a lot of thinkin', I guess your mother would call
it 'soul searchin'."

	I didn't want to ask what he thought about. If he wanted to tell
me, he would.

	"I...well, when you were cryin' with your head on my chest, it hit
me that I'd really never been a real 'uncle' to you. I suppose I sorta
resented you because you were so much like your dad.  Me and your dad got
along all right. But you made me stop and think how hard it is on you to
grow up with a asshole for a grandpa, a Bible-totin' mother, and the town
drunk and party boy for an uncle. I realized you didn't have many friends
and no one to talk to. 'Fifteen' can be rough on a boy. You've had no one
to show you how to be a man. There ain't been no one in your life to help
you along. THAT should've been my job all along, and I haven't done a very
good job of it."

	"I knew you would be there if I needed you, Uncle Webb." I
purposely called him, 'uncle' just to emphasize that we were blood
relatives.

	"I should've been takin' you places and havin' long talks with
you. You...uh...told me in so many words that you were a virgin...never
tasted a beer. Why, when I was your age, every friend I had had already
done those things...not that they were good or the right thing to do, but
it's just a part of growin' up. You've grown up as much as you could and I
know it's been a tough row to hoe. You haven't had your dad around to teach
you things...'man' things."

	I suddenly felt I was inadequate for my age and maybe even a
disappointment to him.

	"Let's go over to the creek and have a cool drink of water. We can
sit and talk there."

	The first thought that ran into my head was that he was going to
try to tell me about the birds and the bees and that would really make me
feel like a retard. He pulled on his left rein and headed toward the
Donahue Creek, almost at a gallop. I was a pretty good rider and did my
best to keep up with his speed.

	We dismounted and walked down to the creek bed and knelt to scoop
up a hand of cold crystal clear water.

	"Tastes good, doesn't it?" Webb said, wiping his mouth on his
red-checkered shirtsleeve.

	"Great."

	"'s'too cold for a swim," he said.

	"Might feel good though," I said.

	"Are you man enough to brave it?" he asked.

	"I am if you are," I dared him. "What's the matter? Too cold for
you?"

	"Shit, no!"

	"All right, who's going in first?" I asked, being glad that a swim
might subside the serious conversation that I expected.

	"Jaybird?"

	"I can take it if you can." I bragged, fearful, since I knew the
water was really, really cold. The creek started somewhere on the mountain
and flowed into the pond adjacent to the creek. The water level was down
due to the drought.

	Then the idea hit me what I had just agreed to. I couldn't take off
my clothes in front of Webb. What if I saw him naked and got excited and
sprang a boner? I would have no choice but duck my head under the water and
drown myself, but then, I knew that my penis and balls would shrink once
they felt the cold water. The problem was...how would I get from the shore
to the pond without risking the inevitable? I would just have to run and
take my chances...I knew I wouldn't look at him...then I wouldn't get an
erection.

	Fortunately, he was wearing cowboy boots which meant it would take
him longer to undress. I could take off my clothes and be in the water
before he had the chance to notice me. That was the plan! So I stripped my
jeans, shirt, and underwear off faster than I ever had before.

	About a minute later, I was completely naked running into the
water, making sure I got at least waist-high deep. I had succeeded. He
never looked at me as he had trouble with the boots. I was already swimming
before he got his jeans off.

	Brrrrr! It WAS cold. I didn't have to worry about a hardon. I had
to worry if my balls would ever drop back down as they had scrunched up in
my body so far.

	"What's keeping you, chicken?" I screamed, splashing water and
waving my hand at him.

	"I'll show you who's a chicken!" Webb yelled back as he pulled out
his remaining leg in his jeans. He wasn't wearing underwear. I guess I knew
that because I'd never seen any of his shorts hanging on the clothesline
when Mother did the wash every Monday.

	Before he ran into the water, Webb waded in and for the first time
I saw his beautiful nude body. He looked like one of those Greek god
statues in my World History book. I don't know how or where he tanned his
body, but it was golden brown all over. His chest was full with bubble-like
muscles just above his navel. I could see a trail of dark brown hair
leading from his middle down to his pubic area, which was full and
bushy. His penis was long, covering massive balls. He had tremendous
muscles on the top of his thighs. I didn't realize my jaw had dropped in
awe until I got a mouthful of unexpected water. He was a powerful swimmer,
taking very few strokes to arrive at the point where I was 'hiding'.

	"Now who's a chicken?" he said as he spewed a mouth of water like a
whale onto my untanned white chest. He lunged, putting both of his hands on
top of my head and pushed me under the water with force. About a gallon of
cold water went up into my nostrils and down my throat as I sputtered and
coughed when I emerged.

	"Two can play that game!" I exclaimed, as I reached for his head to
do to him what he had just done to me. He was stronger and held his
ground. I tried several times to dunk his head, but it wouldn't budge. I
struggled and jumped toward him and without thinking about consequences; I
wrapped my legs around his waist and locked both my feet behind him. To
counteract my attack, he bent over at the waist, submerging me once
again. I didn't let go of my hold on him and he fell forward on top of
me. We both went under and came up laughing. I'd never had so much fun in
the water. I'd gone swimming four or five times with Henry, but we always
wore bathing trunks and never had any body contact or playful shenanigans
as I was doing with Webb.

	Once again, he tried to get me to release my body hold on him by
standing and twirling in a circle, trying to sling me off him. I would not
give him the satisfaction. I held him as firmly as I could.

	"OK, OK, I give!" Webb finally said.

	I released my legs and in doing so, I slid down the front of him
and got the biggest surprise of my life. As I was sliding down to stand up,
I realized I had straddled his penis between my legs. It was long and hard
as a rock, in spite of the cold water. I locked it between my legs and
tightened my thighs as if I had just captured a sea monster. My arms were
around his neck. His hands went behind my back and slid down to my buttocks
and he pulled me into him. Then, the next surprise...he started moving his
hips forward and backward, fucking my inner thighs, which still held him
tautly. He had the same look in his eyes in the sun that I had looked into
last night in the moonlight. I moved my head closer to his and placed my
lips on his. Then came the consummate shock...his tongue was prying my lips
apart. I opened my mouth slightly and his tongue slipped in past my teeth
and met my tongue. Sure, the water was icy, but that wasn't the cause of my
goosebumps. They would have popped up if we had done this in the middle of
the Sahara Desert in 110 degree heat.

	Webb continued his rocking motion until nature took its course and
I was fully erect also. He released my right butt cheek and brought his
hand between our bodies to grasp my hardened penis. I was so excited, I
pushed his tongue from my mouth and gorged mine into his and explored the
inside of his mouth. I let it roam all over the inside of his teeth and the
bottom and top of his tongue in circles. Last night had been wonderful, but
this...this...words couldn't describe how I felt...a combination of fear,
guilt, embarrassment, and ecstasy.

	The golden moment came to a quick halt as Webb suddenly removed his
hands from his grasp on me and pushed on my chest, causing me to fall
backward with a huge splash. I thought he was still horsing around until I
came up from the water, wiped my eyes and saw the look in his eyes. His
pools of blue no longer looked passionate. His face, especially his brow
indicated a conglomerate of fear, disgust, and hatred. I came forward
slowly to recapture what we had going just seconds ago and again his arms
thrust against my chest, feeling more like the jolt of two fists.

	"NO!" Webb screamed. "NO! THIS AIN'T RIGHT!"

	I regained my balance and stood up.

	"GET AWAY FROM ME!" he continued his rage. "DON'T COME NEAR ME OR
I'LL HIT YOU! I SWEAR THAT I WILL!".

	I had to flee. I dived into the water and swam swiftly to the
shore. Webb remained in the water. I could see he hadn't turned around to
look at me as he was staring in the opposite direction. I dressed so fast I
didn't bother to don my socks; I put my shoes on the wrong feet, caught
myself and put them on correctly, ran to my horse, mounted it and rode
toward the farmhouse as fast as the nag could take me there, crying all the
way.

	The car was parked in the drive in front of the house which meant
that Mother was home from the doctor's. I wanted to go see about her and
hear the latest news about her illness, but I didn't know if I could put on
a front for her without revealing what had just happened at the creek. I
heard Henry's voice in the living room, talking with Grandpa. I thought I
would in and speak to let them know I was home but I had to run to the
john. There were only the two of them in the room.

	"Where's Mother?" I asked as I looked around.

	"Come in, Jerry boy," Grandpa said.

	Again, I asked, "Where's Mother?"

	"She's not here, Jerry Boy," Henry replied.

	My heart sank to the pit of my stomach. "Whaddya mean she's not
here? Where is she?"

	"She's in Park View Hospital," Henry said.

	"What happened?", I almost shouted.

	"I'm not sure," Henry continued. "I waited on her in the lobby of
the Doctor's office and she was gone for over an hour. Finally, a nurse
came out and told me that your Mother had taken sick and the doctor had
called an ambulance to take her to the hospital."

	"Did you see her?" I asked, fearfully.

	"Only when she was on that thing the ambulance people put on to
roll her out of the office."

	"Did she say anything?"

	"Not much. She just told me to tell you not to worry."

	"She didn't say what was wrong?"

	"She mentioned something about her white corpuscles or somethin'
were way up and the doctor wanted to send her to the hospital for some
tests. I did hear one of the nurses telling another that your Mother had
fainted or passed out or somethin'."

	"I gotta go see her!" I said with urgency. "Can I take the car,
Grandpa?"

	"Why don't you let Henry or Webb take you?" Grandpa said. "You're
so wound up, you're liable to wreck the car and kill yourself."

	The mention of Webb's name made me realize I had momentarily
forgotten the encounter at the lake. I couldn't think about that right now,
I had to get to Mother as soon as possible. The incident with Webb would
have to wait to be resolved.

	"Henry, for God's sake! Take me to see her!"

	"Watch it, boy," Grandpa said, topping my volume. "Don't go using
the Lord's name in vain. You know what your Grandma would say about that if
she heard you!"

	"Grandpa, Grandma is dead!" I screamed.

	"She is not!" he snapped. "Why do you say things like that to upset
me? She's...she's in the kitchen fixin' lunch."

	"Oh, Lord! I can't take this! Henry, will you drive me to the
hospital or not?"

	"Sure, Jerry boy. Go on out to the car and I'll meet you there."

	We sped down the driveway. As we got halfway to the highway, we saw
Webb on his horse riding to the farm.

	"There's your Uncle Webb. You wanna stop and tell him about your
mother?"

	"NO! Just keep goin'!" I shouted.

	Henry turned south on the highway toward town. Everything bad was
happening at once. As we drove, guilty feelings kept entering my brain. I
believed in God but somehow I never accepted all the things Mother had said
about Him...or even Brother Tomlinson, the Baptist preacher. But if
everything they said was true, then God had seen me and Webb and what we
had done. Good Lord, had I made Mother sick by my sinful actions? How much
would God punish me? Would He take Mother from me so soon? I was still
counting on a few more months with her. It wasn't her fault, what I'd
done. Why punish her? I started crying in my fear and prayed silently that
she would be better by the time we got to the hospital. I closed my eyes
tighter and prayed harder. Without being aware of Henry's presence, my
silent prayer became verbal.

	"Forgive me, Lord." I said whispering through clenched
teeth. "Forgive me! Please don't take Mother now. Please." I realized that
what I had said was loud enough for Henry to hear. I froze, once again, but
this time it was for a different reason.

	"Whatchu talking about, boy?" Henry asked.

	"Whaddya mean?"

	"Whatchu askin' forgiveness for? What have you done?"

	"What are you talking about?" I said, trying to cover my verbal
discretion.

	"Just now. I heard you prayin' or somethin' and you were askin' for
forgiveness. What have you done so wrong?"

	"I don't want to talk about it, Henry."

	"It sounded to me like you ought to be talkin' to someone about
it," Henry said, looking at me more than he was the road in front of him,
"Come on now. You and me have done things that no one knows about. We don't
keep secrets, do we?"

	I didn't reply to his question. Sure, Henry had taught me about
masturbation, but we hadn't gone as far as Webb and me. I mean, I hadn't
kissed Henry or nothing. I liked him, yeah, but I didn't feel any love for
him in my heart the way I had Uncle Webb. Mother had read something in the
Bible about having 'lust in your heart' and that's exactly what I had
done. I had sinned...sinned badly by having lust in my heart for my
uncle. I didn't want Henry to know about it. I didn't want ANYBODY to know,
but apparently God knew. Gosh! What a mess I had caused. I swore that if
Mother died because of my sin, then I'd never touch myself again. I didn't
care if my ball sack DID fill up and burst. Baptists didn't have
monasteries, or at least I didn't think they did. I could hitchhike out to
California, jump a ship and go to some South Sea island and disappear where
no one knew me.

	"You gonna tell me?" Henry asked with persistence.

	"No, Henry, that's between me and God. We gotta work it out...just
the two of us."

	"OK, but just remember, any time you wanna talk about it, I'm
here. OK?"

	"Thanks. I'll remember that." I said. Fat chance I would tell him
about it. I would tell NO ONE about it, and that was final!!!

	We arrived at the hospital and I jumped out of the car before it
had stopped, leaving the door open. I ran. If Mother was dying, I had to
see her as soon as possible. There were three people ahead of me in line at
the information desk. I pretended I didn't see them. I stepped in front of
them and got the nurse's attention by saying rather loudly, "Mrs. Donahue!
She's a patient here! She's my mother."

	"Just a minute, young man, I'll see," she replied, running her
finger down a long list of admissions on a stand up card holder.

	"She's in room 423."

	"Thanks!" I replied.

	"Wait!" the nurse stopped me. "How old are you?"

	"Fifteen," I said.

	"Well, I'm sorry, but unless you're sixteen, you'll have to be
accompanied by an adult for visitation."

	"But I'll be sixteen in a couple of weeks."

	"Well, I'm sorry, but rules are rules."

	"BUT IT'S MY MOTHER!" I screamed at her.

	"Please lower your voice, young man, this is a hospital, not a ball
field."

	Just then I saw Henry, who had parked the car, coming in the front
door.

	"Look! There's my brother!" I lied. "He's an adult. Can I go
upstairs with him?"

	"I suppose," she replied, staring at Henry with an examining
eye. Henry and I didn't look anything like one another. We could never pass
as brothers. "Just remember where you are and behave accordingly. No more
outbursts."

	"Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry."

	I ran to Henry.

	"Now what kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into?" Henry
asked.

	"Nothing, Let's just get up to the fourth floor...room 423."

	Mother was in a room all to herself. I panicked when I saw her. Her
nose and mouth were covered with a plastic oxygen mask. I could see some
kind of wire coming from the opening at the top of her hospital gown;
another from her left arm; both going to some kind of monitoring machine
which kept beeping and making lines on some sort of graphs on tiny green
television screens. There was a needle in her arm with a clear liquid in a
bag dripping into it. Her eyes were closed. But she was breathing. She was
alive. That was the most important thing. Her bed was fixed so that she was
halfway sitting up. I walked slowly to her side.

	"Mother?" I said, quietly.

	She opened her eyes and they slowly met mine. She smiled and I felt
a sense of relief.

	"Hi, Honey," she whispered through the oxygen mask.

	"Mother, what happened?"

	"I don't know. I felt a little weak when I got to the doctor's and
he stuck a needle in my arm and then I passed out, I guess." Her voice was
weaker than I'd ever heard it. "Don't you worry. I'll get my strength
back. I shouldn't be in the hospital for more than a few days."

	"Sure," I said, comforting her. "You'll rally back and be home in
time to make biscuits and gravy next Sunday before church."

	"I don't know if I'll feel well enough to go to church, but I do
promise to make you some biscuits."

	"I'll even get up early enough to watch you and learn how to make
them and then, by the next Sunday, I'll be able to make 'em myself and I'll
even serve you breakfast in bed."

	"I'll have to wait and see that for myself," she managed to joke.

	"I will. I promise."

	"How's your Grandpa? Does he know I'm in the hospital? I don't want
him to worry. You know how weak his heart is and he has high blood pressure
that he has to worry about, too."

	"You know Grandpa, Mother. He may know you're in the hospital one
minute and the next second he's already forgotten, the way his mind comes
and goes."

	"Who's taking care of him right now?"

	"Uh, Webb was riding toward the house as we were coming down the
driveway."

	"Oh Lord," she said, "without one of us there to referee, your
Grandpa and Webb could be in a fist fight by now."

	"Don't you worry about that." I assured her. "Henry and I will see
that we keep the peace between them."

	"My poor, Jerry boy," she said with a half smile, "you have had to
grow up so fast and carry the weight of the world on your shoulders."

	"I can handle it, Mother. Don't forget, my sixteenth birthday's
coming up."

	"Sixteen and so wise for your years." she said, squeezing my
hand. "Your daddy would've been so proud of you. The older you get, the
more and more you look and act like him."

	"I hope so, Mother."

	"It's in your genes. You're going to grow up to be a fine
man...just like he was."

	A nurse came in the room to ask us to leave, as Mother needed her
rest. I gave mother a long look and bent down to kiss her hand on her right
arm attached to the needle.

	"I love you," she said.

	"I love you, too, Mother. Just concentrate on getting your strength
back and I'll be back to see you tomorrow."

	"Thank you," she said, smiling. "Now go home and see if your
Grandpa and uncle have started World War Three between them and wrecked the
house."

	"Yes, maam. Now get some rest." Henry and I left her room and took
the elevator to the lobby.

	When we got to the car and headed home, Henry asked, "Did you find
out what's wrong with her?"

	There was no reason to lie to Henry any longer. "She...she has
breast cancer, Henry, and it's spread all over her body."

	"Good heavens!" Henry exclaimed. "How long have you known?"

	"Oh...about six months, I guess."

	"You mean you've known about her that long and kept it to
yourself?"

	"Yeah."

	"Does Webb know?"

	"He didn't until I told him this morning when we were surveying the
south fields."

	"God, Jerry boy, I don't know how you kept that secret so long."

	"I promised Mother I wouldn't tell."

	"And there's nothing they can do for her?"

	"No." I replied in resignation. "She's dying, Henry. It won't be
long."

	"Is that what you were prayin' about on the way to the hospital?"

	"...Partly."

	"What's the rest of it, Jerry boy?"

	"I can't talk about it."

	"You mean you have another secret you're hidin'?"

	"Yeah."

	"Does Webb know about it? I mean did you tell him?"

	"He knows something about it."

	"Well, thank God you said somethin' to somebody about it. You
shouldn't be keepin' a bunch of heavy things like that to yourself...not at
your age, anyways."

	"I'm alright...or at least I think I am."

	That was the end of our conversation the rest of the way home.  As
soon as I opened the door of the car, I could hear Grandpa and Webb yelling
loud enough at each other to be heard all the way outside.

	"Lord, Henry, listen to that. Mother was right."

	"Let's us go in and see if we can declare a truce between 'em."

	When Henry and I entered room, the verbal battle stopped. Webb
looked at me.

	"How is she?" Webb said, almost in a scream as his voice was still
warmed up from the heated discussion he had been having with Grandpa."

	"We talked with her," I said. "There's a whole bunch of wires,
tubes, and needles attached to her, but she said she'd be home in a day or
two."

	"Who's that you're talking about?" Grandpa asked, "Your grandma?"

	"No, Grandpa, my mother."

	"Well, as long as she's back to cook breakfast in the morning."

	"Shit, old man!" Webb screamed. "Didn't you hear the boy just say
that's she's in the hospital? She's sick! She won't be home to cook your
breakfast tomorrow mornin' or even the next day for that matter."

	"Then your grandma will have to do the chores then." Grandpa
replied.

	"Goddammit!" Webb shouted. "I can't take much more of this! You
ought to be in a home somewhere...a home for stupid old fools. You're not
aware of anything goin' on around here."

	"I won't have you saying things like that. God'll punish you for
using words like that."

	"He can't punish me any more than I'm already being punished, just
bein' around you." Webb went out the front door.

	I hesitated following him because I still didn't know how mad he
was about our "doings" earlier in the day. I watched through the screen
door as I saw him reach under the seat of his Corvette and withdraw a
hidden bottle of Jack Daniel's. He put it under his arm and headed for the
barn. I took a deep breath...enough to drum up my courage and followed him
after the barn door was shut. I opened the huge door just wide enough to
wedge my body through. I didn't see Webb at first but I discovered he was
in the third hay stall, sitting on the ground and taking a big swig of the
whiskey.

	He swallowed a big gulp and saw me. "What the hell do you want?" he
asked.

	"Nothing," I replied. "I just wanted to get out of the house...the
same as you."

	"Well, there's other places you can go besides high-tailin' after
me."

	"I know. I'll go if you want me to."

	"I want you to," Webb replied. I turned to go and he stopped
me. "Wait! Come back here a minute."

	"Yessir?"

	"Sit down and let's talk about this mornin'."

	"What's there to talk about? Nothing really happened, did it?" I
asked.

	"Yeah...a LOT happened and I think we ought to clear the air
between us."

	"OK." I said, sitting on the hay on the opposite side of the stable
stall,

	He took another swig from the bottle. "I want you to know I've
never done anything like that before in my life. I don't know what came
over me or why I let it go as far as it did."

	"I figured," I said. "I guess it was all my fault."

	"Maybe the first part...but the last part was my doin'. You had
nothin' to do with it. That was MY fault. Maybe the kissin' part was just a
holdover from last night...but that hardon business and me hunchin' you in
the lake...and then...then when I reached around and grabbed hold of your
pecker. Well, you had nothin' to do with that. I swear to God I don't know
what made me do that. Why, I'd have killed anybody whoever even thought I'd
touch another guy's pecker...let alone, actually do it."

	"That's OK." I said, "I didn't think much about it. If anything, I
kinda enjoyed it."

	"That's what I thought. That's another thing I wanted to talk to
you about. You ain't never had a woman. I just hate it that your first
sexual experience was with a man." He drank again. "I'm kinda glad it was
with me an nobody else because, since it was with me, it can stop here and
you won't go doin' anything like that with some stranger. I mean, you might
get to like it and wind up as a queer or somethin' and that's the last
thing in the world you'd ever want to do. Queers are queer and that's all
there is to it! It ain't right and you oughta get those things out of your
mind while you're young and don't turn into one yourself! If you want a
woman, then I'll get you one. You can go out with me and we'll pick up a
couple of whores and you can see what real sex is all about."

	"I...I don't want a woman," I replied with great trepidation.

	"Goddammit! Didn't you hear a word I said?" he screamed.

	"I heard you...and I still don't want a woman." I said, standing my
ground.

	"Don't tell me you want another man or a boy!"

	"I don't," I said. "I...I want you."

	The bottle was halfway to his lips but he stopped at what I had
said and let it sink in,

	"Why the fuck do you want me? I don't want you! There's not a queer
bone in my body or a queer thought in my head!"

	"I don't know. I just do," I said. "I went to my room and jerked
off thinking about you all night...after we kissed."

	"I don't know why that happened either."

	"I kissed you...and you kissed me back, didn't you?" I asked,
bravely. "Why?"

	"Dammit! I don't know that either! he shouted. "I didn't sleep much
last night either, just thinkin' about it!"

	"I guess if affected you as much as it did me...but in a different
way."

	"Goddamn right it was in a different way!" he replied, taking
another drink. "What did you think about when you were jerkin' off?"

	"Lots of things."

	"Like what?"

	"...Thinking about how nice it would be to be laying naked in bed
next to you."

	"Shit, boy! You're queer already, ain't you?"

	"I don't think it's queer if my feelings are honest and from my
heart."

	"What other things did you think about?"

	"Oh, I don't know. Us...jerkin' off together. Maybe."

	"Anything else?"

	"I thought about putting your thing in my mouth and sucking on it."

	"Good God! That's disgustin'! I've heard just about everything
now...and comin' from my own nephew!"

	"Why? You told me last night about your eating pussy."

	"That's OK! A man's born to eat pussy, NOT to suck on a dick."

	"If it was dark at night, what difference would it make?" I asked.

	"It wouldn't feel the same because I would know it was a man's
mouth and not a woman's."

	"I'll bet you couldn't tell the difference."

	"That's bullshit!" he scowled. "How do you know so much about blow
jobs?"

	"I've seen it done." I said, remembering Henry going down on
Grandpa.

	"Where? Who? Have you sucked off some kid or has someone done it to
you?"

	"No. You found out last night that I was a virgin."

	"Then who? I don't know of any queers in the whole county."

	"You'd be surprised," I replied.

	"I guess I would," he said, standing up with a wobble. "Turn
around!"

	"What?"

	"I said turn around! I gotta piss."

	"I'll just close me eyes."

	"Well, keep 'em that way." He turned around and peed on one of the
boards that separated the stalls. It seemed like a full minute before his
pissing sound stopped as I squeezed my eyelids tightly. I kept waiting for
him to tell me he was through and it was all right to look at him
again. Finally, I opened one eye to peek what he was doing. I quickly
opened both eyes when I saw he had walked all the way over to me and was
standing about two feet in front of me. His fly was open and he still had
his dick in his hand. I stared at it and was amazed to see he had a full
erection. My gaze looked up to his eyes to see what he was doing.

	"Is that what you want?" he asked, slurring his words slightly. The
Jack Daniels had taken effect on him and I could see he was about half
drunk.

	I didn't reply nor did I move.

	"Well, is it? Is THAT what you want?" he repeated.

	"I suppose," I answered with a trembling voice.

	"Well, then, take it! Go on! Suck on it, queer."

	The mood was wrong and the action he proposed seemed ugly at the
moment. But then, I thought this might be the only chance I would ever have
to fulfill my dream, so I reach forward slowly and grabbed his penis with
my right hand.

	"Come on! I don't have all day! If you want it...take it!"

	It was the wrong kind of encouragement but it was now or never and
I instantly lunged forward and engulfed his entire shaft in my mouth. I had
done it too quickly, as I had to gag and cough. He laughed.

	"What's the matter? Am I took much man for you to take?"

	His remark inspired my determination. I WOULD have my way with him
and he WOULD enjoy it. I went to work on it with great haste. I could feel
him writhe above me and he let out a little moan.

	"Hey, hey, slow down! Take your time!" he instructed. "Easy,
boy. Go easy!"

	I slowed down my motion and sucked harder...long strokes in and out
of my mouth. Webb began hunching my mouth as he had between my legs. He was
breathing loudly and making several non-descript noises of pleasure.

	"Oh, my God, that's good!" he exclaimed. "Oh, yes, yes, yes,
whatever you do, don't stop now!"

	Neither hell nor high water could stop me. This was my first
time...and maybe my last, but I was going to take out all the sexual urges
I'd ever felt on him. This is something I would never forget...nor would
Webb, I was sure. I grabbed his balls and clutched them tightly in my
hands. My left hand explored up and down his muscular hairy left leg...both
front and back sides of it, going all the way to his left butt cheek, which
I squeezed. My fingers had slightly entered his sweaty crack. I inched
farther until my middle finger was massaging his asshole.

	"Oh, fuck! You'd better stop now!" he screamed.

	I acted as if I hadn't heard him or even knew the meaning of the
word, "stop",

	"Jerry, please! I'm gonna cum," he announced.

	He got the message that I had no intention of stopping.

	"OK, buddy boy, if you want it, I'm gonna let you have it. ALL of
it!"

	I felt his balls retract and a second later he had filled my mouth
with a gallon load of his sweet nectar. I took all of it swallowing as fast
as I could until I felt his dick go limp. Webb was so weak that he sank to
his knees, his face right before mine.

	"Jesus!" he whispered. He slowly opened his eyes and I braced
myself for him to hit me with his fist with all of his might. Instead, he
cupped both my cheeks with his hands and drew my face closer to his. I
thought I would faint as he planted a kiss on me and once again explored my
mouth with his tongue. His passion grew greater as he pulled me sideways to
the floor in the straw and he pulled my body into his to embrace me. He
broke the kiss and whispered intimately into my right ear,

	"Oh, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, my little Jerry." His lips returned to
mine. I responded the best I could, in spite of the fear that he might
sober up any moment, come to his senses and beat the crap out of me. I
didn't care. If he beat me up, well, it was worth it. I would enjoy this
moment as long as he wanted it to last. Then I would accept my punishment.
We lay in each other's arms for what must've seemed an hour until Webb fell
asleep. I was pleased, satisfied, and fulfilled...for the moment; Only Lord
knows what would happen when he awoke. I slowly removed his arm from my
body, stood up and went over to the rail and got a gray saddle blanket to
drape over him. He looked so handsome and peaceful while he slept. I just
wished he could be that way when he was awake or when he wasn't drunk. I
quietly knelt over him and gently kissed his cheek. I don't think he was
aware of who I was, but he smiled without opening his eyes. I'd have to
find out later how much he remembered. I was scared, but I felt good.

(to be continued in Chapter Three)