Date: Mon, 12 Apr 2010 07:08:50 -0700
From: Pat Marke <thechickensaysmoo@hotmail.com>
Subject: Blade Meets Josie

DISCLAIMER-

WARNING!!! This is a story that contains strong language, sex between
members of the same sex with direct relation, otherwise known as INCEST. If
this matterial offends you, please exit this site, or delete this file at
once. Also do the above if this is illegal in your area, or you are under
18/21. If you are looking for eroticism right away, this is not your story.
As the eroticism is not until the middle and the end. Thank you for
reading.


			     Blade Meets Josie

				    **

It was around three in the afternoon, and my mom and my aunt were not
supposed to be home yet. I had taken my bike to work, leaving the car for
my brother to use. I pulled my bike into the garage, and pushed the button
on the little remote, and the door came crashing down. I quickly put my
bike where it belonged, beside my brother's, and walked back to the ebony
door the led into the kitchen. I unlocked it, and opened it before slowly
walking in. It was completely dark. I closed the door, locked it, and
walked into the living room. It was pitch black in here, yet I knew someone
was here. I walked over to one of the couches and felt the blanket on the
couch as my eyes tried to adjust to the pitch blackness. Sure enough, I
felt a warm frame lying on the couch. There was no response to my touch. I
looked around, trying to make my eyes adjust.

"Jason?" I called softly not knowing if he was asleep. "Hey, Jase? You
okay, guy?"

I walked over to the window, and pulled back the curtains, letting in a
stream of sun light. It seemed to hit me hard in the face compared to the
pitch blackness of the room. I turned to the couch where my brother lay,
and the sight that met me almost made me cry out.

There lay my brother, under a thin blanket. His face was a very nasty shade
of green, and the red had left his lips. He was lying on the couch, on his
belly, and his face was turned to me. His eyes were closed, and I could
hear his breathing coming in ragged gasps as he lay paralyzed on the couch.

"Oh, Jason! What's wrong, love?" I asked getting up and closing the
certain, now that I knew where he was. When I did, I plunged us both into
complete darkness again. "Jason, are you awake, baby?" I asked walking over
to him.

"Blade!" he gasped as I knelt down beside him. "Blade! This feeling." he
moaned. "Oh. This feeling."

I got up and walked up stairs. I grabbed a pair of thick rimmed sun
glasses, and headed back down stairs. I quickly slipped on the glasses
taking his original pair off the coffee table, and putting them back in
their case. I slipped it into my jeans pocket, and I walked back to him. I
picked him up in my arms, and I headed for the door.

"Where are the keys to Bullet, Jase?" I asked softly.

"Coffee table." he breathed tensing in my arms.

I grabbed the keys, and I walked out. I slammed the door shut behind me,
and walked to the bug. I opened the back seat door, and I gently laid him
on the seat, trying to fit him into the back as gently as I
could. Truthfully, he was too big. He was a tall athlete, and it was hard
to get him to fit comfortably in the seat.

"Okay! Okay!" he yelled suddenly. "Don't move me! Don't move me! Just leave
me here." he gasped as he settled back into the seat. "Just leave me
here. Okay? No more."

I slammed the car door shut, and went to the driver's side. I opened that
door and climbed in. I closed it, and heard a sharp gasp. I turned on the
engine, glad it wasn't a roaring one, and started driving off. Hopefully,
the emergency room wasn't full.

My wishes had come true. When we got to the ER, I carried my brother in,
and saw that there really wasn't that much of a crowd. The lady at the
front desk spotted me, and smiled. She knew me from previous visits, and
she also knew Jason.

"Oh dear. I should've predicted this. It's too damn sunny out there." she
muttered as she saw us. "I'll get Dr. Hall." she said sighing. "Hold on."

Two minutes later, found me and Jason in a hospital room. Jason was lying
on a cot hooked up to a heart monitor. The steady beep of the monitor was
calming, because it let me know that he was okay. The Dr. came walking in,
and smiled at me. She held a needle in her hand. She sighed as she walked
over to Jason.

"Are you awake, kid?" she asked quietly. "You awake?"

"No. Wait! Wait! Blade, please." he gasped. "Please, Blade."

I walked over to him, and I took his hand. His hand was so icy and cold. I
shivered a little. Jason didn't feel right.

"I'm going to give you this Demerol." she said softly. "Okay? Now, I want
you to do me a favor. Relax a little." she said as she rubbed his left arm
with rubbing alcohol. "Okay, so I'll give him this shot, and he's gonna be
out like a light. Hopefully. I'm also going to write him a prescription for
Vicodin. is he allergic to any medication?" she asked quietly as she
plunged the needle in.

"No." I said as I felt his right hand squeeze mine. "No. He's not
allergic."

"If the pain isn't gone by tomorrow morning, come back. Poor soul. It must
be tough when the sun comes out." she said sighing. "I'd rather just get
the sun burn."

"Yeah. Well, for him, it's a sun burn, and a migraine." I muttered as I
felt my phone vibrate.

"You can take him home." she said giving me a piece of paper. "Take that
down to your drug store, have them fill the prescription, and you're good
to go." she said as I opened my phone.

"Thanks." I said sighing. "Thanks a lot, Dr. Hall."

"You're welcome. Tell him I said hi." she said as we both looked down on a
sleeping Jason.

"Hello?" I spoke into the phone as the Dr. left the room.

"Where are you guys?" my mom asked as I stood beside my brother.

"We're coming home. I'm bringing him back from the emergency room."

"Oh, my, God! Is he okay? What happened?"

"He got a huge ass migraine. He wasn't breathing right." I said
sighing. "I'll be right there, kay?"

"Okay. See you soon." she said sighing. "Be careful, Blade."

"We'll be fine." I said sadly. "Bye."

It took my thirty minutes to get back to my part of town. I went to the
drug store, and filled his medicine. That took another fifteen. During
which I sat in the car watching him closely. I got the medicine, and headed
back home. My mom and my aunt came to meet us at the drive way. I went and
got him out of the back seat, and carried him inside. He felt stiff and
tense in my arms. I laid him down on the couch, and made sure that the
lights were dim.

"How did this happen?" my aunt asked simply as I set the keys down on the
coffee table.

"What do you mean, how did this happen? Like all the other ones." my mom
said angrily. "The pour soul spends all day out there doing all this stuff,
the sun's out too much, he's exposed. The worst part is, he can't wear any
sun glasses, because he needs those glasses to see." she said pointing to
his pair of glasses. "Fuck. He must be in so much pain right now."

"Yeah, and I only made it worse." I moaned as I sat across from him on the
other couch. "When the car doors would close, you could tell he was in
pain. I mean, sound is magnified like up to ten times during a fucking
headache like those." I said sighing.

My brother Jason had been born with albinism. He also had eye problems, and
he needed glasses in order to see. We're talking huge. He was blind without
a pair of glasses. He was also blind at night. His night vision was zero,
even with glasses. Because of his albinism, he couldn't be out in the sun
without heavy sun block, and his eyes couldn't be exposed to the sun for
long periods of time without causing him severe pain. As he lay on the
couch across from me, I almost began to cry. The person who lay across from
me was helpless. He was vonerable, defenseless, and small. I almost ran at
him and wrapped him up in my arms. Just to make sure he knew that I was
here with him.

By seven o'clock the sun was setting, and my mom, aunt and I had just
finished dinner. All three of us walked into the living room with small
cups of yogurt in our hands. I opened the huge tub of gummy hearts and
scooped some into my yogurt. I stirred it all up and went to sit down on
the couch at my brother's head. As I sat there eating, the image of Jason
came into my mind.

Tall and thin, he was six one, with very handsome red hair that was always
kept short. He had broad shoulders, and a very athletic build. His skin was
porcelain white. It looked like snow almost. I always teased him about
that. I thought that was one of the most beautiful features about him. His
eyes were also very beautiful. They looked red in ordinary light, but when
looking at him underneath a full lighting, they were a deep clear
blue. Just like mine. His lips were so red, and juicy looking. Mom, aunt
Linda and I teased him about that constantly. To me, he looked very
handsome, and alive. He was the only thing on this earth that kept me
going. I had discover recently, that if anyone truly cared about me, and
loved me dearly with a real kind of love, it was him.

The image of Jason switched in my mind. As I sat eating my yogurt, the
image of him being fucked by me came into my mind. My jeans began to tent
upward as my sex swelled. The image switched and I saw a teenage Jason
being beaten with a base ball bat. Blood pouring down his face, and bruises
shining all over his eyes, forehead, and jaw. That tent in my jeans faded
away as I watched my Jason being shoved against a wall. The glasses he wore
shattered and I saw the fear and dread fill his face. I opened my eyes, and
I looked down at him, almost feeling like I could cry. I watched as his
eyes opened.

"You okay, Jay?" my mom asked gently. "Can you hear me?"

"Yeah." he croaked. "I'm good. It's that phantom pain, you know? But it's
okay."

"You wanna eat?" asked my aunt softly. "I made noodle soup."

"Thai?" he asked softly.

"Yes, dear." said my aunt. "Would you like a little bit?"

"Please." he said sighing. "Just a little bit." he mumbled.

"I'll get it for you, just a minute." she said standing up. "Here,
Blade. I'll take that for you." she said taking my empty cup.

"Thanks." I said softly as she smiled at me.

Jason scooted up, and his head fell gently into my lap. I cradled it gently
as he lay back down. His eyes closed and his head settled gently against my
sex.

"You feeling better, Jase?" I asked looking down at his pale face. At least
the green was gone from his features.

"A little. Feels so bad, though." he said softly.

He reached out to me, and took my left hand. He placed it on his hot
forehead, and sighed. His eyes closed. "Feels nice, Blade." he moaned as he
drifted off again.

"Don't worry." my aunt said coming back with a bowl of soup. "It'll take a
while for this to cool. He's fine drifting off for a bit."

For fifteen minutes I sat with my brother resting on my lap. Memories of
when he was a little boy came flooding back to me. Playing with him,
wrestling with him. We were both inseparable when he was a boy. Hell, we're
inseparable now! Memories of teaching him how to walk, talk, ride a bike,
and do so many things.

I looked down, and saw his face. It was beautiful. So white, and
perfect. Those high cheekbones were so handsome in the light of the setting
sun. He opened his eyes, and look up. Our eyes met, and he smiled.

"Feeling any better?" asked my aunt who was busy blowing on his soup.

"Mmmmmm." he replied softly still lying gently against my thighs. "The
nausea's gone, the phantom pain is still there, though." he said
sadly. "Soup smells good."

"You think you can handle it?" asked my mom as she came over to look at my
brother.

"Yeah. I'm okay. I feel a little bit better. I'm so damn thirsty, though."
he moaned.

"I'll get a glass of water, Jay." my mom said changing directions and
making her way to the kitchen.

I gently slipped an arm under his shoulders, and lifted his thin frame. His
head fell against my shoulder, and I saw the pain in his eyes.

"Too soon?" I asked a little frightened. "Sorry, Jase."

"Naw. It's fine. It's just that phantom pain. It always stays for a
bit. It's okay, though. Nothin' compared to the real thing." he said as the
color drained from his face again.

"Mom, I'll take that." I said taking the soup that my mom had in her hands.

"Oh, Blade. I love you both so much." she said smiling. "Don't you just see
it, Linda?" she asked as my aunt retreated with tears in her eyes and a
smile on her face.

"See what?" I asked as I gently turned Jason in my arms to face me.

"How well you two get along." my aunt said smiling. "There ain't another
pair of boys just like you."

"Blade, I can do it--"

"Shshshsh. I'll take care of you, Jase." I said softly. "Don't worry. Just
relax."

                    **

I loved the way my brother held my head with one hand. I rested comfortably
against his palm, while with the other hand, he fed me. It was delicious. I
felt like I was a son, and my father was taking care of me. On the other
side of the room, my mom and aunt Linda were staring intently at both of
us, catching our every move. My aunt had tears in her eyes still, and my
mom was smiling from ear to ear. It took me about twenty minutes to finish
the soup. I still felt dizzy, and my vision was still blurred. Even with
the glasses. So, I left them off. It was so painful, my head. It felt like
it would never go away. Yet, it was ten times better, than it had been this
morning. Or even when Blade had burst in through the door. After he was
done, my mom gave me some water, which I drank gladly. It felt ice cold as
it slid down my throat, which was parched and dry. I coughed a little as
she withdrew.

"Would you like some yogurt, dear?" my aunt asked.

"Got peach?" I asked yawning a little.

"We have peach, sir. Yes." said my mom pretending to curtsey for me.

"May I have some?" I asked smiling.

"Granola? Or gummy hearts?" my mom asked as she walked into the kitchen. I
peered over to where I saw her blurred figure before the bar.

"Hearts." I mumbled. "This time, I'm doing it myself."

"No, you're not." all three of them said at once.

"Come on." I moaned as my mom handed Blade my yogurt. "I'm feeling a lot
better. Really."

"Just love the fact that you're being carred for, and take it without
complaint." my mom said as she sat down on the other couch across from
Blade and I.

I lay my head on my big brother's shoulder, and closed my eyes. I felt
warm, and peaceful here. I always wanted to be here. For as long as God let
me have this wonderful soul. For as long as Blade's life would extend. I
felt something smooth press against my lips, and I opened my mouth.

It took me another fifteen to eat the yogurt. It was wonderful. My mom and
aunt Linda were protective, and more so was Blade. When I finished my
yogurt, I felt their stares.

"If you want anything to eat, Jay," my mom said smiling. "Just let me
know."

I didn't even have time to answer. As soon as my head hit Blade's chest, I
closed my eyes and was gone.

I was standing in a very dark wood. There was yelling all around me, and I
felt strange. Like something was going to happen to me. Like I was being
hunted. I had no idea if I should run, or if I was supposed to be running
to catch someone. I heard strange voices yelling. My name was mixed in with
the voices, and I tried not to turn to see who they were.

"Jason!" someone yelled. "Jason! Jason, come back here! Don't run away. We
need you." said the voice.

I turned and saw that it was someone I knew. It was a very familiar
person. It was my father.

"Jason, you said you wouldn't abandon him. Don't leave him now." said the
man softly. "He needs you."

"What are you talking about?" I asked looking at him. "And what the hell
are you doing here? Where am I?"

"You're in the grave yard. He asked you to be one of the
pallbearers. Remember? Just before he passed."

"Wait! Why?" I asked as confusion ran through me. "Who asked me to be a
pallbearer? What's happening?"

I ran to catch up with Terry, and saw my mom and my aunt Linda. Miss Mac,
and her brother Lex, and my best friends Avery, and Tasha were there as
well. Avery was bearing a golden casket. Lex was also helping him. I found
myself being shoved forward, and suddenly bore part of the coffin as
well. There was silence that pressed in on me as the people realized that I
was no longer missing.

All of them were dressed in Black. Tasha was walking with the rest of the
people behind me, tears streaming down her rosy cheeks. Lex and Avery were
both crying silently as they walked through the cemetery gates. Miss Mac,
my mom, my aunt Linda, and someone who I couldn't see were crying as
well. I squinted a little bit more try+ to see who it was. It was Terry's
wife. She was holding a bouquet of pink flowers. She was also walking
silently along, tears filling her eyes.

When we got to the six foot deep hole in the earth, I gasped. They were
ready to put the body down. I knew who would be in there, but I still
wanted to know with curiosity who it was that they were going to bury. A
priest came waling over to us.

"You may open the casket." he said as the three of us set the casket down
on the edge of the hole.

The lid was lifted back. The priest began to speak, and read aloud from his
bible. I turned back to the coffin, and looked down. My stomach twisted,
and my guts seemed to be turning into squirming snakes. There, in the
casket, cushioned by pillows and cotton lining, was my big brother. He
looked almost to be sleeping, if it weren't for the fact that he was
dressed in a grey suit. It was so not his color.

I heard it before I could realize it was happening. The horrible gut
wrenching scream that came piercing into the night. Because that's what it
was. It was a very beautiful night, with a full moon. It was warm, and
there seemed to be good conditions. No clouds in the sky what so ever. My
scream seemed to go on for the rest of eternity as I yelled and yelled and
yelled. Blade lay in the casket before me, his skin pale and papery, his
hair white, and his eyes. His eyes were dull windows with no color.

"Jason." he said smiling up at me. "I'm dead. I told you we didn't have
long. Jason? Jason?" his voice repeated my name over and over and
over. First, it sounded like he was calling me, like he had a question in
his voice. Then, it turned into a yell. "Jason? Jason? Jason! Jason! Jason!
Wake up, kiddo. Jason! Hey, guy! Wake it up! Wake up, Jase!"

I opened my eyes, and found myself lying on a very cool surface. I looked
all around me, but it was too blurry to know where I was. There seemed to
be a lot of people in here with me, though. I could hear their pairs of
feet as they moved around.

"Honey, it's time to go to bed." my mom said softly. "Would you like a
pill? To get to sleep? Or, you think you can make it?"

The pain had returned. Not fully, but dully. It felt like the beginnings of
one, and I knew if I didn't prevent it now, tomorrow would be hell again.

"Just give him a Vicodin." my brother spoke up for me. It seemed he knew
what I was thinking. I nodded gently, trying not to open my mouth. The
feelings of nausea crept over me.

Five minutes later, I was being undressed by Blade. He helped me slip into
my black Speedos, and gently helped me climb into bed. It was cold. I felt
like he had just put me in a freezer. He pulled the blankets over me, and
started to tuck me in.

"Blade! You can't leave." I gasped.

"I'm not leaving, love." he said softly. "I promise."

The drowsiness of the medication was taking effect instantly. I felt about
ready to be knocked out. I closed my eyes and listened to Blade unzipping
his jeans. I felt the sleep begin to creep in. I tried to fight it. I
opened my eyes and tried to stay awake. It seemed that my pain would
intensify as I fought against the sleep pushing at my eye lids. Blade
gently climbed in beside me, and pulled me to him.

"Go to sleep, Jase." he cooed softly. "I'll be right here." he
whispered. "Go to sleep, baby."

"Blade, you promise?" I asked softly.

As well as I could, I tried to tell him of my dream. Despite the fact that
I really needed to close my eyes. Despite the fact that the pain in my head
was building up as I lay awake when I should be sleeping. I could hear my
own voice slurring as I told him about my dream.

"They're just dreams, Jason." he said as he wiped away tears with his
gentle hand. "They're just dreams. I'll be right here when you wake."

"What if I'm never normal again?" I sobbed as my hands came to clutch my
head. The pain was so bad. It was probably due to the fact that the Vicodin
was trying to work, and I was staying up. "Oh, Blade! It hurts so bad." I
moaned.

"I know, Jason. Trust me. I've been there. All you can do, is close your
eyes and go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up, Jason. Just close your
eyes, love, and the pain will leave you."

"It was feels like I'll never be me again." I sobbed as the pain ripped
through my skull. "Blade, please! Help me!" I pleaded.

"Close your eyes, Jason." he said softly. "Close your eyes, and the pain
will go away. I'll be with you. You'll know I'm here." he said tightening
his hold on me.

"Will you put your hand on my face, for the coolness?" I asked softly.

"If you'd like." he said as his ice cold hand rested against the left side
of my face. It felt wonderful. The coolness, the feeling of that cold hand
was bliss. It seemed to cool the pain a little bit more as my eyes closed.

I remember laying there for a while longer. His hand was flat against my
too hot skin. It felt like ice. I sank deeper, and deeper into the sleep
that awaited me. Hopefully, this time, dreamless. Hopefully, when I awoke,
the pain would be gone. Hopefully. I let out a peaceful moan as his hand
shifted and pressed against my left eye. Then, I was gone.

The next day when I awoke, I felt warm. I was lying on something soft. I
felt like I always wanted to be where I was. For the rest of my life, I'd
like nothing more than to just lay in the spot that I was lying at. I
didn't want to open my eyes. Something was missing. I was surrounded by
pillows, full of down. They were soft, and warm, but there was something
missing. I reached out and the other side of the bed was empty.

"Blade." I yelled as loudly as my head would allow.

With every migraine that I get, I had to feel it afterward. The next day,
if I yell too loudly, or move a certain way, my head would split. So it was
now the case. I found myself lying alone on this bed, and I couldn't holler
for my brother. Just then, I heard a thud, and the bedroom door
opened. Blade stood in the door way, handsome and tall. He looked almost
like a god or a super hero.

"You're awake. How are you feeling?" he asked coming over and sitting down
near my belly.

"Better. I can't scream, or my head'll fall apart." I said in a soft tone.

"I'm glad you're better. Mom and aunt Linda left for the day. Both
working."

"So, why are you still here?" I asked looking at the clock. It was now a
quarter to ten.

"I got up fifteen minutes ago." he said sighing.

"Dude, you're gonna get fired from your job."

"Naw. I got permission from my boss to take today off. They'll call me if
they need me. I'm staying here. With you." he said biting his lip. "Cool?"
he asked.

"Very." I said stretching out a little and flexing my arms and legs.

                   **

This happened at least every year. Usually it happened once a year. On
really bad years, which were really rare, it happened twice. It always
happened when it was really sunny out. Headaches usually tend to piss me
off, but Jason? I had no clue how much pain he was really in. I'd never
gotten a migraine that bad before. As we made our way to the couch, I
noticed how he would wince every so often.

"You feelin' all right?" I asked concerned.

"Don't worry, Blade. It's just the phantom pains." he muttered.

"What are you? An amputee?" I asked as we both settled down on the couch.

"No. I'm tired. Tired, in pain, and cold." he said sighing. "Anyway, it
looks like it'll be hell again today. Do me a favor, and reach over and
shut those." he said pointing to the window on my left.

I turned around, and saw that the curtains were open and the blazing sun
was streaming in. I quickly shut the certain, and the lighting in the room
became dim.

It's funny how it was either me in a bad condition, or Jason. Neither of us
could ever feel well and be well for a long period of time. Two days after
he had gotten his massive migraine, I was having problems with my lungs. It
was almost sort of scary, because when my coughing fit hit me, I was alone
in my house. I'd walked into the kitchen, and there had been a strong smell
of spices. My aunt always usually cooked for us, and she cooked foreign
foods. Mostly Thai and Chinese. She always seemed to use a lot of
spices. So, as I walked in for a glass of water, I found myself having
difficulty breathing. My lungs seemed to be full of phlegm all of a
sudden. I made my way out of the kitchen, and went back into the living
room. I collapsed on to the couch, and a violent fit of coughs seized me. A
metallic taste suddenly appeared in my mouth, and I knew something was
wrong. I looked at the handkerchief that I'd been coughing into, and I saw
a couple stains of blood on the cotton. Something was really wrong. Maybe,
if I laid down and slept it off, I'd be okay.

Laying down was not a good idea. My coughing got stronger, and the amount
of fluid that I coughed out of my lungs got bigger. My ribs and my chest
began to feel pain as I became sore from all the coughing. I kept taking in
as much water as possible, knowing that maybe it would help my aching
throat. I think this fit lasted about an hour and a half. The door knob
rattled, and the door opened. I was too busy coughing to look up and see
who it was. I didn't realize that the person had come close to me, until a
hand was roughly whacking my back.

"If you're not better in the next fifteen minutes, we're going to the ER."
Jason's voice sounded a little alarmed. "Crap! How long have you been at
it?" he asked, taking the handkerchief that I held. It was then that I
realized that it was covered in blood.

We ended up going to the emergency room. As always, the people there knew
us well, and Dr. Hall came to our rescue once again. They settled me into a
cot, and hooked me up to a ventilator, and a heart monitor.

"How long has he been coughing up blood?" Dr. Hall asked as I tried to
cough again.

"It's been about two hours now." Jason said sighing. "I found him like that
when I got home."

"I'm surprised he's even here right now." muttered the dr. sighing. "Most
cystic fibrosis patients don't make it this long."

No. No, they don't. They normally don't make it to their thirty-fourth
birthdays. She took X-rays of my lungs, and was able to figure out what was
wrong. There was too much phlegm in there, and the inhalation of spices had
irritated my throat and nose. I was able to flush it out of my system, but
it still felt terrible. It felt like something was scratching the hell out
of my lungs. I lasted in their about four hours, and pretty soon, my mom
and my aunt Linda were with Jason and I as well. It took a little while
before I was clear, and able to breathe correctly on my own.

All of us crammed ourselves back into the bug that Jason had driven. My
frame was very sore. I had some serious pain in my ribs, and my chest. My
back was also hurting, but it was nothing compared to my ribs and my
chest. I felt a little weak as I was helped into the car.

As we all drove off, I looked around at the people sitting with me. My mom,
who I loved so much, my aunt Linda who had played a decent part in my child
hood, and my brother, Jason. Jason, who I would do anything for. Jason, who
I would die for. Jason, who I knew shouldn't be in this relationship with
me, because I was hurting him very badly. Sooner or later, my disease would
take over. Sooner or later, I would die. What would happen to Jason when I
did?

Another thought that occurred to me as I sat there was the reason for his
being here. Did Jason really give a damn about me? Did he really love me?
Or was he here because he felt sorry for me? Was he only here because he
knew that soon, I'd be gone? Something inside me felt very
unsure. Something inside me felt terrible pain. My attempt to leave Jason
had been a failure earlier. He had succeeded in bringing me back, and so
had my mom and my aunt. I felt a gentle tap on my arm, and I looked up.

"We've here, Blade." my aunt said softly.

I had been lying across my aunt and my mom. Jason helped me extract myself
from the bug, and the two ladies followed suit.

"Hey, guess what?" my mom said matter of factly. "The money's been
deposited in the account."

"Whoa. I still can't believe we won." Jason said laughing a little.

"You won, Jay." my mom said smiling. "You won."

My brother had won a lotto ticket, and gotten a total of nine million
dollars. It took a while to make sure that the ticket was real, and that
the money went to the right place. It sounded like now, we were a lot
wealthier.

"Be careful, Blade." Jason said as I stumbled up the drive. "Blade! This
way!" he said pulling me to him.

He pulled my right arm around his shoulders, and half dragged me into the
house. He led me straight to the couch, where he gently laid me down. I had
just been laid down, when my eyes closed, and I was gone.

I don't remember dreaming anything. All I remember is falling straight to
sleep as soon as we got home. When I awoke the next time, it was eight
thirty, and the sun was gone. It was dark, and gloomy. I heard voices in
the kitchen, but there was no one where I was lying. A pair of feet thudded
on the tiles as they came walking into the living room.

"Hey, Prince." said Jason smiling. "You feelin' better?"

"No. Just sore. Very sore. You got any water?" I asked as I sat up.

"Water." he said handing me a glass. "You need anything else? Want food?"

"Yogurt." I said simply as I handed him back the glass. "Just plain
vanilla."

I couldn't believe this was happening. My mind was full of memories of when
I was a little boy. Teachers and kids treated me differently because I have
Cystic Fibrosis. Was this the case now? Just Jason treating me differently
because of this condition? Or was I just being paranoid? As I sat eating my
yogurt, I wondered if things were actually going to work out between me and
my brother. I had to find out why he was here. I had to find out if it was
really love, or just pity. My mom, my aunt and Jason were sitting around
me, talking. I was too busy with my own thoughts to listen to what they
were saying. When I finished my yogurt, Jason took my cup.

"Well you guys, I think your aunt and I are turning in early." my mom said
as my aunt and her got up. "Blade, are you okay, baby?" she asked.

"I'm fine." I said bitterly. "Don't worry about a thing."

I got up, and without looking at any of them, I left the room. I made my
way up stairs as the tears filled my eyes. I really wished that I'd stayed
over in California. I wished that I'd just stayed over there, and this
wouldn't be happening. In a daze, I brushed my teeth, and changed into my
Speedos. I climbed into bed, and turned away from where I knew Jason was
soon to lay. Sure enough, the door opened and he came walking in.

"What's the matter, Blade?" he asked sadly.

"Nothin'. Jus' tired." I said without turning to him. "It'll be over soon."

The rustle of his clothing was all I heard, along with his breathing as he
got ready for bed. I heard a click, and the darkness settled in. I felt him
climb into bed beside me, but he didn't reach for me. It seemed he was
reading my mind. I hoped he wouldn't touch me today. I felt like being left
alone. I didn't want Jason's hands on me. Not if he was only here out of
pity.

"Blade?" he said softly. "Talk to me."

"About?" I asked without turning to him.

"Somethin's botherin' yuh. What is it?"" he asked sounding a little
annoyed.

"Nothing, Jason. Don't worry. Just go to sleep." I said as my eyes clouded
over and tears began to stream down my face.

"Fine. Fine." he said heaving a big sigh. "Turn on your stomach." he said
sitting up beside me. It wasn't a gentle order, it was a rough aggressive
command.

"Jason, I'm tired." I said sadly. "Go away."

I felt a pair of strong hands shove me, and I was rolled on to my
stomach. Jason roughly lifted my waist up, and pulled my Speedos off.

"What are you doing, Jason? I told you! I'm fuckin' tired!" I moaned as he
pushed me back on to my stomach.

"Blade, shut up." he said gritting his teeth. "Just shut your filthy
mouth."

My face was turned towards him, so I could breathe and not be smothered by
the pillow I was lying on. I felt his soft warm hands touch my neck. He
began to slowly massage the back of my neck, which I truly had never had
done to me before.

"Blade, relax! Don't be so tense, damn it. Or I'll end up hurting you."

"That's why you should leave me alone in the first place." I said. In spite
of myself, I didn't push him away. He and I both knew I was stronger. But
my arms lay at my sides, and I didn't push him away. I couldn't stand to
hurt Jason. I loved him despite the thoughts going through my
head. "Seriously, Jason. Get your hands off me."

"Fucking relax, you fag!" he yelled so loud that it scared me. "And unless
you have something nice to say, shut the hell up!"

I couldn't help it. My heart felt a terrible pain as I wondered for about
the hundrith time if Jason was here because he was sorry for me, or
what. This boy couldn't possibly really truly and honest to God love me. He
just couldn't. Or was I looking too much into this? Was my disease really
that bad?

His gentle caress became very tense, as he massaged my neck. I felt my neck
muscles loosen, and I felt a lot better. His hands moved from my neck to my
shoulders, and I moaned with relief as my shoulder muscles relax. Despite
myself, I was actually feeling pretty good as Jason's soft delicate hands
traveled lower down my body. He spent a while working on my shoulders, and
my upper back. I noticed the feelings of relaxation coming into me as I
waited.

"Arms out to each side." he commanded bitterly.

I obeyed. My arms stretched out to either side as he began to work on the
right one, which was nearest. The soreness of my body increased as he
worked both of my arms, and my rib cages. Although, I did feel myself
relaxing a lot more. His gentle sweet hands went down to my lower back just
where my waist line was. He began to slowly massage my lower back, and I
noticed that something slick and sticky was on my arms, and his hands. I
took in a deep breath, and the smell of rose oil came to my nose. Shit,
this boy was going all out. So, did he really love me?

"Blade, breathe deep." he said commandingly. "Just close your eyes and
breathe. Relax, and you'll feel a lot better. Otherwise, I'm just working
with tense muscles here, and I could end up hurting you in the process of
trying to make you feel better."

I heard the snap of a bottle being opened, and his hands gently
returned. He slid down the small of my back, and began to work my
bottom. He did it just enough to work my ass, but not enough to arouse
me. I liked that about him. He wasn't trying to make this sexual. He was
trying to make this sensual. I closed my eyes and began my breathing. It
felt like he was working on me for eternities. His oh too delicious magical
hands dropped to the backs of my thighs and he began to work there. It took
him a while to get to my calves, and I found myself a lot less tense than
what I had been before.

"Turn over, Blade." he said a little while later.

"Jason--"

"Turn! Over!" he yelled.

I turned over and laid myself out on my back. His hands came to work on my
shoulders again. I loved the feeling of the oil as he rubbed it on. His
hands working my muscles with perfect strokes. Every once in a while, he'd
get a bit more oil on his hands before going at it again. The oil smelled
beautiful. Once I really paid attention to it, I realized it was the smell
of lilac. This oil smelled great. Not too strong, yet it was obvious what
cent it was supposed to have. I let out a little moan as his hands traveled
down a little bit and began to stroke my chest. It was wonderful. I
couldn't help feeling the relaxation spread through my whole body. My
breathing was deep, and my eyes were closed gently.

"Oh, Jason. You feel so good." I said softly. "Thank you, Jase."

"It's nothing." he said sounding still bitter. "Let me just get you a bowl
of I told you so." he said as an afterthought.

"Oh, God. Jason. It feels nice." I said as sleep threatened to take
over. "Oh, Jason. Thank you. I love this." I said in a whisper. "Oh,
please, don't stop."

His hands made their way down to my diaphragm, and my gut. He gently began
to work his way down to my pectoral muscles, and my taut belly. The pain
that I'd been experiencing sort of returned as he worked on my belly. I
hoped he didn't notice that as he was stroking my stomach, it began to
growl.

"You got food poisoning, or the GI tract is irritated." he said as my hopes
were dashed. I felt slightly embarrassed now. "You want anything to eat
before you sleep?" he asked as he made his way down to my abdomen above my
cock, which was surprisingly still soft.

"No. I think it's just my stomach being upset." I said yawning. "You've got
really good techniques, boy." I said smiling.

"Just relax, and breathe, Blade. Relax, and breathe." he ordered as his
gentle hands went past my sex, to my thighs. I think I fell asleep around
this time. I don't remember anything at all after that.

                   **

I laid down and closed my eyes. Blade was beside me, lying peacefully
asleep. I could hear his breathing coming in slow deep breaths. I smiled as
I touched his face.

"Good night, Blade. I love you very much." I whispered kissing his
cheek. "Sweet dreams."

I don't know what the hell happened next, but I remember dreaming that I
was floating in water. I felt something warm and wet touching my cock. I
felt it harden as I tried to move away. I started trying to swim as I
floated on my back, and I felt my head touch the side of the pool gently. I
tried to move, but I felt something strange at my cock. I pressed my hands
to my dick, and felt a strange sort of hairy feeling. A head! I was
touching a head! My fingers explored a little bit more, and I felt familiar
features. A flat top, and geled spikes. It was Blade! His head was on my
abdomen as he sucked on my dick. I gasped.

I opened my eyes and felt the sheets of my bed under me. I felt something
cold on my chest. I had no blankets! Just then, another feeling hit me. I
was about to orgasm! I felt a wet tongue running up and down my shaft, and
I heard gentle slurping sounds. I gasped, and turned on the lam beside
me. Blade was between my legs, with my whole length in his mouth. I saw
that his eyes were still closed, and saw the rest of his body was
limp. Sleep sex! Oh, shit! If I filled his mouth right now and he was
sleeping, I'd possibly choke him!

"Blade?" I whispered trying to get him off me. "Get up, dude! Get up!" I
gasped as my muscles tightened. "Blade, please! Wake up!" I moaned. "Don't
make me shoot! No! Blade--"

It was too late. I felt my balls contract, and a spasm as my seed shot
out. I moaned loudly as I orgasmed, and the scene that I surveyed made it
even worse. Blade was asleep, and sucking my dick! Blade's mouth felt so
good on me, and I looked down and saw my cock sliding in and out of his
mouth, as he bobbed up and down on it. I moaned as I shot off for the
second time, and watched Blade swallow every drop. The scene was so erotic
I ended up climaxing a third time. This one was more powerful. Blade had
sucked me dry in his sleep! Shit!

He slowly pulled off me, and I heard a gentle whisper. "I know. Me too."

"You too, what?" I asked as he sat up and came scooting over to me.

"Oh, Jason. Thank you." he said softly. "I promise I will."

"Will, what?" I asked.

He threw his arms around my waist, and kissed me deeply. "Beautiful." he
mumbled. His head fell against my shoulder, and his breathing returned slow
and deep again.

As for me, I felt strange. I gently laid him back down, and I wondered if
he'd remember tomorrow. Hopefully, he wouldn't. I had to talk to my
mom. This was unusual behavior, even for Blade.

I awoke at around seven o'clock that morning, and I gently got up and
walked over to my closet. I decided I'd be fine without a shirt. It was my
mom and my aunt Linda. I used to be so picky about these things, but now,
due to the situation, I really didn't care. My aunt and my mom knew about
Blade and I. I had finally come to terms with the fact that I was
undeniably, and acceptably gay. It was fine. As for being head over heels
in love with Blade? Well, that was different. Only the one with the power
in the stars above knew why these things happened. I looked over at him,
and saw that my brother was asleep on his side of the bed still. He was
breathing peacefully, and gently. There was occasional times, when he would
say something in his sleep. I opened our door, and left the room. I gently
closed it behind me, as I walked out. I made my way down the carpeted
stairs to the lower floor. I walked into the kitchen, to find my mom at the
stove making breakfast.

"Mom!" I yelled loudly.

She let out a scream, and a piece of bacon flew across the room. I caught
it, and popped it into my mouth.

"Aaaarrrrg!" I yelled as the bacon burned my mouth.

"That's Karma for your white ass!" my mom yelled coming over and smacking
my chest.

"That hurts!" I moaned as I felt a stinging on my skin.

"Oh yeah, so did my heart when you scared the shit out of me. Damn, Jason,
I thought I'd die. I was about to turn around and expect a burglar to face
me."

"You going to work today?" I asked as I helped her with the food. "Is that
why you're making the whole stock of food we have in one time?"

"Blade and you are going to be pigs, I just know it. Aunt Linda had
breakfast, and left. She said she'd be by in a half hour to pick me up. She
had to go to the bank first. Anyway, what are you doing up so early?" she
asked as I handed her the butter.

"Well," I said surprising even myself with the next statement. "I need to
talk to you. About Blade."

"Aw, yes. I knew this would come." she said with a sigh. "Right. He's
tense, and you can't get those good feelings you used to, a while back?
This has been happening since you got your last migraine. Am I right? And
you need me to figure out what's the matter, because he just pushes you
away?"

"How do you know?" I asked astounded. "What are you, a mom?"

"Yes, unfortunately. I have two boys of my own. It was obvious that my
youngest one was gay from the moment he began to talk and walk. As for my
older one, I still didn't know. My son, Jason? Well, you can see it in
him. It's obvious right away that he's gay." she said as if talking with a
news caster.

"Come on, mom. Be serious here." I said.

"Well, if that doesn't get his attention, then, I don't know." she said
pointing to my Speedos.

"What?" I asked. I turned around and took a look in the full length
mirror. My black Speedos were tight on me. Even though my cock was soft, I
could see a clear outline. They were so tight, my cock was almost visible
already. You could see the outline of it, and if these were a pair of white
Speedos and I got wet, you'd be able to see right through to my cock.

"So, you want me to sit down and unpack it all for you?" she asked as we
both sat across from each other.

"Please. Because I'm not sure what the hell is wrong."

"He's feeling sorry for coming back. He thinks that you're not really in
love with him. Tell the truth, Jason. Not for me, but for yourself. I know
what you're feeling. I can see it in your face, your body language, and
your eyes. Just so you hear yourself talk, though. How _do you see your
brother?"

"I'm absolutely head over heels in love with him." I said softly. The next
words that came out of my mouth surprised even me. "I don't consider myself
gay. I look at other guys and I don't get aroused. It's just Blade. Does it
sound weird to you, that there was once a time before all this shit
started, that we would hold hands, and it was so amazing?" I asked. "Or
that we would walk together, or go running, and it was romantic just
walking with him side by side?" I asked gasping.

"See? I told you you'd surprise yourself. No. That doesn't sound weird at
all. I know you're going to be very uncomfortable, but yes, I see where
you're coming from. In a relationship, sex is very important. But so is
emotional intimacy. So is communication. It's also true, that holding hands
can be a very hot experience between couples. So can just walking or
sitting beside your partner. Doesn't it take your breath away sometimes
when you look straight into his eyes?" she asked seriously. "Well, that's
because you two have a good level of communication." she explained as I
nodded. "Blade is feeling very angry with himself. Jason, what would you do
if Blade died?" she asked.

"What would I do?" I asked as the realization of not knowing hit me. "I'm
not sure. I'd be upset, I guess. Probably grieve. But I promised him, that
I'd be here until God pulled us apart." I said sadly. "I'm here for
Blade. I told him I would, and I'm sticking to my promise."

"He is worried about what will happen once he leaves. He has this crazy
notion that you're here because you're sorry for him. Not because you
really love him. He believes that the love faded out of your relationship
right after you found out he had cystic fibrosis." she said sadly. "I know
it's not true!" she added as she saw my mouth open. "But that's what he
thinks. If I can be completely honest with you, Jay, I've never seen a
couple who can love so much. I'm a marriage counselor. I've saved
marriages, and put broken ones back together, but I've never seen a couple,
heterosexual, or gay, that was quite like you."

"How do I let him know?" I asked as my heart beat fast against my naked
chest. "How do I let him know that I love him? Mom, he's so handsome. He's
a hero to me! I love Blade, and that's not ever going to change." I said
sighing. "I don't know how to get him to get that shit out of his head! I
love him just the way he is. I'd like for him to be happy. That's all."

"Then, don't tell me this. I'm not him. I'm just your mother. Tell
him. Don't just make everything sexual, either. Do things for him, that are
romantic, but at the same time, they don't lead to sex. Unless, you are
sure that it's what he wants, and what you want. But if you just do nice
things before sex, it's kind of annoying. You get it? If you do something
really awesome for him, or for anyone, for that matter, and then, it always
ends up leading to sex, it's kind of annoying, and selfish. That just shows
that you are giving to get. Do something for your brother, and make it
last. Like even though I'm not with him anymore, when we first got married,
I remember for our one month anniversary, Terry met me at the door of my
office, and in front of practically all my coworkers, and my boss, he
lifted my chin in his hands, and he sang to me. It was something that at
that time, came from that heart. Give him some love, Jay. Not just sexual
love, either. Treat him like your brother, or something. Show him you
care. When the time comes, you'll know, and you two can sit down and talk
it out amongst yourselves. Just show him you love him. But make sure you
choose to do it, not just do it because you think you have to." she said
expertly.

"Thanks, mom. Now, do you know anything about sleep sex?" I asked as the
memory of Blade sucking me off came back to me.

"Not really. He must've been really asleep, and having a sexual dream. It's
just like sleep walking, sleep eating, and talking in your sleep. I bet he
does that too, right?" she asked.

"Yeah. It's so clear, though, mom. He holds conversations with himself." I
said shivering a little. "It mostly sounds like he's having sad dreams. Or
really bad dreams."

"I'll tell you what. I know a couple of guys who came to my office
once. They were going through the same thing you're going through right
now. It's perfect, because I just met them a couple years ago. These guys
are from Italy, and they just moved to Washington five years earlier. I'll
give Sammy and Tony a call, and I'll ask them if they'd be willing to help
you. Okay?"

"Help me with what?" I asked confused.

"The Carellis are owners of a boat. Tony's the ship mate, and Sam is the
captain. Both know how to steer and all that jazz. Take your brother with
you. I'm sure you and the will get along just fine."

"How old are these guys?" I asked sighing.

"Tony is about thirty, and Sam is thirty-four. They're both as tall as you,
and a lot shorter than Blade. But they're a charming couple. I'll talk to
them, invite them for dinner one of these days, and see how all four of you
get on. I'm sure it'll be fine."

"What the hell am I supposed to do in the mean time?" I asked sighing.

"Be calm. Just treat Blade like you normally do. Show him you love him. Try
and let him know that communication is always open between you two."

"You think it'll work?" I asked sadly. "Because I'd really be screwed if
Blade left again. Mom, I can't take it if it happens again. I love him."

"Just remember. Balance it out. Communication, sex, and emotional
intimacy. All key parts of a healthy relationship."

"Thanks." I said sighing. "I'll keep that in mind."

Just then, the door opened, and I heard footsteps. Aunt Linda came walking
into the kitchen. She spotted my mom and I.

"You guys heat the food up when you're ready to eat it, okay? Linda and I
have to go." my mom said.

We both stood up. I hugged my mom goodbye, and watched her gather her
things.

"Damn, boy!" my aunt yelled as she almost collided into me on her way to
the sink. "Put some pants on!"

"You changed his diapers, Linda. Be cool." my mom said laughing.

"Yeah, Toya, but it's just, his dick is so...in your face! So obviously
there. It would be even more pronounced if he was sporting a raging boner."

"Get away!" I yelled turning around and walking off.

"Well then, put a pair of fucking pants on. Geez. It's almost like you're a
teen or something."

                   **

I opened my eyes to a dimly lit room. I reached out to my left, and felt a
soft warm body laying beside me. I couldn't help reaching out and wrapping
my arms around Jason. My eyes filled with tears, and I pulled him to me.

"You all right?" he asked as his arms wrapped around my shoulders.

"Fine." I said as I squeezed him gently. "Just fine. You sleep good?"

"Really good. You didn't, though. What did you dream last night?" he asked
sadly.

"Funny you mention it. I don't remember." I said snuggling up to him.

"Sounded bad for a while. You talking in your sleep."

"What did I say?" I asked as I felt my face grow hot.

"Nothing, really. Just stuff." he said sounding a little awkward.

"Tell me." I pressed curiously.

"Something about death. Apparently, someone was taking something from
you. You kept screaming out. "Wait, wait, that's my Jason." It was
weird. You'd hold conversations with yourself."

"Oh." I said feeling really truly embarrassed now. "Sorry."

"It's okay. Your Jason's pretty okay with it. He's happy."

I don't know why, but a feeling of overwhelming sadness came over me, and I
just couldn't hold back tears. Jason tightened his hold on me, and gently
stroked my hair. I wished I could just pull away.

"I love you." he said as if reading my mind.

"Really?" I asked bitterly. "Jason?"

"Really." he said kissing my forehead. "I really love you, Blade." he said
gently. "With all my heart."

I don't know how long I lay there in Jason's arms. We both ended up pulling
away from each other at about the same time. We got up, and got dressed in
silence. Just as I was walking for the bathroom, he blocked my path. His
arms gently wound around my waist, and he kissed me. I found myself kissing
him back. I also found myself feeling so happy that he was here.

As we ate breakfast, I couldn't help staring at him. I couldn't keep my
eyes off him the whole time. It was silent throughout our meal. It was a
deep nice silence. Not an angry one, or a tense one. It was peaceful, and
beautiful. We both got up, and washed our dishes quietly. I almost hated
talking and ruining it all.

"Going to the station." I said sighing. "I'll leave you the bug."

"Kay. I'm going to see if I can cancel my next assignment." he mumbled.

He had been scheduled to fly out to Haiti, and I was unsure as to why he
was canceling. "What happened?" I asked.

"I have something else that I really need to take care of. Bad." Jason
looked desperate.

"Anything I can do?" I asked as I spotted his expression.

"Not really. It's something I have to take care of on my own." he said
sighing. "Blade, why do you have to take your bike?" he asked.

"So you can have the bug." I said a little put off by his question. "So you
don't have to have the sun right in your face."

"So, why the hell can't I just drive you?" he asked sounding a little
frustrated. "It would make life so much easier for both of us."

"Would you mind?" I asked as I placed the dishes on the draining rack.

"Hell no! That's why I'm asking you." he said as we both made our way to
the living room. "Ready to go?" he asked.

"Sure." I said grabbing my phone, and slipping it in my pocket.

We both left the house, and made our way to the car. I opened the passenger
seat door, and slid in. I watched as Jason slid in beside me. He and I
reached for the doors and slammed them shut. He turned on the engine, and
waited for the motor to warm up. As we began to back away, I wondered why I
was sitting here. it was really time to end this relationship. I really
needed to. Yet, as I stared at my brother, I knew I couldn't end it. He was
so handsome, and so amazing. Something drew me to him, and I had no clue
what it was. Ever since he was a little boy.

"When are you out?" he asked as he stopped in front of my building.

"About five." I said sighing. "Maybe earlier. I'm not sure. It depends how
many of our staff shows up."

"Will you call?" he asked sounding a little concerned. "Please. Don't hitch
hike, Blade. Call me." he urged.

"Jason." I sighed.

We both leaned towards each other and hugged. The gear shift was between us
as I tried to wrap at least one arm around my brother. I looked into his
eyes and saw something that I've never seen there before. It was a look
that said he knew something I didn't. A searching look, as if he could read
my mind and know my every thought. I tried as hard as I could to pull him
closer. The gears of the car sort of dug into my thigh, but I clung to him
desperately.

"You let me know, Prince." he said softly. "I'll be here when you need me."

"So then, don't leave." I said before I could stop myself.

"Blade." he said gently. "See you soon, dude."

"Bye." I said without budging.

"You'll be fired. You'll be late." Jason said with a gentle crooked
smile. "Let go of me Blade. This is going to lead to something else, here
pretty soon."

I slowly pulled away, and climbed out of the car. I turned to look at him
one last time, and smiled. We both said goodbye, and I slammed the door
shut.

The day passed by in a haze and I had no idea really what was going on. My
mind was full of my problems, and Jason. What was I going to do? Memories
of when Jason was a little boy came back to me again.

As Jason Jameson grew up, it became obvious that he was gay. He was somehow
more feminine than me. He had a nice pair of beautiful red lips that I
loved so much. His hands had a soft smoothness to them. Unlike mine, which
were rough, and more muscular. Even his voice was girlish. He was always
worried about looking fat, and so he always watched his weight. Jason had a
very strange behavior pattern as well. He never talked with people at
all. He had friends, but that was only because they had introduced
themselves to him. Or because they were somehow linked to me, or mom. It
was hard for him to talk with aunt Linda. He was extremely intrroverted. I
guess, the way he walked, and moved. His body language. That made him a lot
more feminine in the way he acted, looked and talked. I was way more
masculine than he was. If you looked at me, and Jason together, you could
see the girl in him, and you could see the man in me. That was in no way
shape or form bad, it was actually cute. It made him look very beautiful.

I remember when we would play together, and he would be so shy even around
me. I remember when I'd be vacuuming for my mom, and he'd be sitting on the
couch reading his comic books. I'd unknowingly vacuum with my shirt off,
and usually wore a pair of Speedos. This was only when my dad wasn't
around. My mom thought I was show+ off my good looks, I was just teasing
her. But my Speedos were always and had always been tight when I wore them
around the house. Anyway, as I vacuumed, I'd be pushing the vacuum back and
forth, and minding my own business. I'd turn to look at Jason and catch him
staring at me. Not just looking my way to see how I vacuum, but full on
staring at me. His eyes had a goofy gaze like someone in love. Only a lot
cuter. It was a look I still remembered. A look of adoration, curiousness,
and guilt. Surely he was guilty for staring at me. My dad had made it clear
that any form of masturbation, homosexuality, and sexual acts that were
performed before marriage was a sin. So, I'm sure he was confused about
these feelings.

One day, I was mopping the floor. I accidentally dropped the mop, and had
to bend over to retrieve it. As I did, I caught Jason staring at my butt. I
almost fainted. I was eighteen at the time, and I already knew that I was
gay. My cock began to bulge out, and I felt strange inside. I had gotten
back up with the mop in my hand, and turned around to keep going. I was
making wide strokes and covering the tiles with the solution. I looked up
and saw Jason gazing at my bulge. I looked into his eyes and smiled.

"Gotcha." I said as his face exploded into a shade of pink. It was a very
beautiful pink, that made his face look like a total baby face. "Why do you
keep staring at me, kid?" I asked curiously.

"I'm not." he said barely above a whisper.

"That's the sixth time today, kid. I've caught you, and you've been staring
at me."

"No." he said close to tears. "Not really. Maybe you were looking when I
turned to look and see if you were done." he mumbled very fast.

I smiled and kept going. I made wide strokes, and hopefully, cleaned up the
mess that my mom had asked me to clean up. I ended up on the other side of
the living room. When I looked over to see what Jason was doing, I saw that
he was staring at my six pack. I just smiled and looked away. I kept going
with the mop. I took another five minutes to finish, and turned once again
to see where Jason was looking. I saw him staring at my bulge again. Our
eyes met, and I saw a really goofy look in his eyes. The kind of look that
my dad used to give my mom, before Jason was born. That look that said,
"Damn! Let's get it on!"

"Caughtcha." I mouthed smiling.

The look on his face was priceless! He was completely red, and he began to
tremble. I saw tears flood his eyes. He hid his face behind a comic book,
and I wondered if he had really cried.

"Jason, why do you keep looking at me?" I asked a little bit more
curious. "I'm not mad, either. I just really want to know."

"But I'm not looking at you. That's wrong." he whispered.

I had put all the things that I'd left out away. I walked over to him, and
turned off the TV. I went and sat down on the couch beside him. I reached
for him and he tried to squirm away.

"Come here, boy. Don't be rude. I'm trying to be a big brother, here." I
said teasingly lifting him up into my arms. "Why do you keep staring at me,
Jason?"

"I'm not staring." he whispered as tears filled his eyes again.

"Jason, it's okay!" I said kissing both of his cheeks. Whenever I'd kiss
him, that goofy look would come to his eyes again, and he looked like he
was about to orgasm on the spot. I'd been such an ignoramus, and hadn't put
two and two together. Although, if I had, at that time, I'd be trying to be
away from him, because I still didn't know how much a part of my life he
was supposed to be. He went red again, and I laughed.

"If I tell you, you'll get really mad." he said softly as his smile
returned.

"Tell me." I said as I stroked his white angel face. "Tell me what you're
thinking. I wanna know."

"It's just, Blade," he gasped as tears filled his eyes. "You're my hero. I
wanna be just like you." he whispered as his eyes became misty and goofy
again.

"You're sweet, Jason." I had said lifting him in my arms and hugging him. I
kissed him on both cheeks and smiled.

This game went on for more than two years. It's not that I was cleaning
when he was in the room. I promise. It's that he was always around when I
cleaned. Even when I knew he was not in the room, the moment my shirt came
off and the tight Speedos came on, Jason would be sitting perched either on
the couch when I vacuumed or mopped, or he'd be sitting on a chair at the
kitchen, watching me clean down the counter. And every time I'd catch him
staring, I'd whisper, "Gotcha." and he'd turn away. It was so obvious that
he was gay.

I remember when we first got the swimming pool. It was a year before I went
to college. I'd finished mowing the lawn and I decided that it was time for
a swim. Jason had gotten into the pool, and he was bobbing up and down in
the shallow end, in a pair of white Speedos. Because they were wet, I could
see every detail of my little brother's ass, and his sex. At the time, I
didn't see Jason the way I do now. So, it was no problem. But as he floated
in the pool, I saw that he was staring at me again. I walked over to him,
and kicked off my shoes and socks. I went to the deep end, and dove in. I
swam over to Jason, and popped up beside him. he yelled.

"So, Jason, how are you?" I asked as I began to make waves lap around to
lower section. "You like this water?"

"I guess. It's warm, and stuff." he said shyly. "You know."

"I love water." I said smiling. "It takes care of life's, _little
problems." I said as I looked down and saw his hard nine year old dick. "If
you know what I mean."

"If you splash my face, Blade, you will die." he said sounding serious. "I
get scared of drowning."

"Oh yeah? Well, we'll just have to see about that. You shouldn've told
me. Now, I'm going to make your life hell." I had said with a smile as I
made bigger waves splash around Jason. The water was swirling around his
waist now, and was making little waves.

"I'm not joking." he said as I expanded the waves. The water started to go
up and swirl around his chest. He tensed up a little. "The next round,
Jason gets wet." I said smiling.

"You die, Blade. I'm not kidding." he said as his face went a little
green. "You die, Blade."

I wrapped an arm around him, and I dragged him to the deep end. He was
gasping.

"Blade! No! I can't swim here! Please! I can't touch the bottom!" he yelled
as his little arms wrapped around my shoulders. "Please, Blade!"

"Don't worry, Little Dude. I'll keep you safe." I said as I bobbed up and
down in the warm water.

I realized as I thought about those memories, that I was teasing
him. Always. I had never ever thought about that. I'd been teasing
him. Always, with every touch, with every look, with every movement that I
had executed.

I went to meet Jason as the clock struck five. He was waiting out in front
of the building. I walked over to the Bullet, and opened the door. I slid
in, and saw that he was looking weary.

"Are you okay, Jason?" I asked not really caring.

"Fine. How was it?" he asked as I put on my seat belt.

"Remember that little Mexican store where we usually buy are Agua De
Orchata?" I asked a little sad. "And the Pan Dulce?"

"Yep. I thought about going there tomorrow." he said licking his lips. "I
really needed a bread."

"Well, you can go there tomorrow. But I'm not sure they'll be serving
customers." I said as my heart fell.

"Why?" he gasped. "What happened? Did Conchita quit?"

Jason was a damn over achiever. I guess he had kept himself busy with
studying when I left him for college. Because aside from English, he knew
sign, French, Swahili, Creole, and Spanish. I'm surprised he didn't know
Italian, or any other language. So, he was friends with the lady that
managed the little Mexican store that I'd just helped with.

"No, Jase. There was a huge ass fire over there." I said
sadly. "Vandalisers."

"Oh, my." he gasped as he swerved a car that looked like it was about to
hit us. "Watch the fuckin' road, you bastard!" he yelled as he gave a
gesture.

"You don't need to flip him off." I muttered a little scared.

"Shut up, Blade." he muttered as he made a turn the other way.

We both drove by the Mexican store. It was gone. The only thing left, was a
side of the store. You could see the whole building had been flattened. The
roof had caved in, and the place was unrecognizable. A tall thin attractive
lady stood looking at the remains of the store. Tears were streaming down
her face.

"Hey, do you mind?" Jason asked sadly.

"No, Prince. Go ahead." I said sadly as I looked out the wind shield. "I'll
come with."

We both got out of the car, and walked over to the lady. She was tall, and
thin. Her hair was long, and held back by a black head band. She had very
pretty brown eyes, and a very sad face as of now. She clutched her red and
white cane in her left hand as she stood, trembling. Jason and I walked up
to her.

"Hey, Boys." she said turning to us. "Thank you for putting out my store."
she muttered as her eyes brimmed again.

"Porque, Conchita?" Jason asked as he walked forward and embraced her.

She began to cry in his arms as he held her. A stream of words came out as
Jason translated for me.

"I can't believe my house is gone. It was above my store. I lived there. My
whole world is turned upside down. What will become of me now? I cannot
believe that this is happening to me."

"Those teenagers are going to pay." I said sighing. "They've all gone to
jail, and will be tried as adults."

"Those pour kids don't deeserve it, Blade." she said softly. "It's the
parents' fault. They leave the kids, and they leave them stranded. A child
needs a mother's love. A father's, too, for that matter. They don't
deeserve to be in trouble." she said as Jason let her go. "My home and my
business is now destroyed, but you did a wonderful job, Blade." she said
smiling at me. "I'm proud. I don't know what I'd do without you, tesorito."
she said coming and giving me a gentle hug. "In Spanish, that means, little
treasure." she said smiling. "But you're tall. You're a giant, mijo." she
said smiling.

"What are you going to do, Conchita?" I asked a little curious.

"I'm going back to my home land, Blade. There is no purpose for me here
anymore. I have no work. It took me so long to build my store, and for my
business to expand. It was hard work. But now, is all gone. I'm
leaving. Back to Mexico. I have my mom and dad there still. I also have my
big brother. I need him right now." she said sighing. "He's the one I'm
going to find."

"See Blade? And it's not out of pity for her, either." Jason blurted
staring at me hard.

"Jason, not here." I said as my face went hot. "Shut up."

"Tell him your story, Concha!" Jason yelled as he reached up and took his
head in his hands. "Tell him your story! Make him see!"

"My brother, Ramon, has been with me my whole life. He didn't care that I
was born blind. He and his wife, and two children live in my flat just
above my store. I've been with them for ever since my brother and I came to
the united States. I have a heart condition, Blade. Doctors keep telling me
different things. I have to have a defibrillator with me at all
time. Blade, my brother cares about me. He doesn't have any lastima for
me. He loves me, and I know it. Only your family can love you, and
strangers can have lastima. They do not know you." she said softly.

I knew what she was saying. Jason didn't have to translate that word for me
at all. Jason's eyes had a hard blazing look that I recognized as
determination. I had to get home and talk to my mom.

We both said goodbye to the lady, and promised to keep in touch. She was
supposed to let us know when she was going to leave so that we could say
goodbye. As Jason and I left, I saw a car pull up. The driver got out, and
we watched from the bug as the man wrapped his sister up in a hug. My eyes
filled with tears, and I turned away from Jason. I couldn't let him see my
pain. The ride home was silent. When we both got home, I bolted up the
drive way and I ran into the house. My mom was sitting with my aunt, and my
aunt was holding her tight in her arms. Tears fell from my eyes as I saw
the two women kiss. The looks they gave each other. Jason hasn't looked at
me like that in forever. Sobbing, I ran up stairs, and into the guest room,
and collapsed on to the bed. I curled up into a tight ball, and cried for a
long, long time. It was about an hour and a half later, that my mom came
walking into the room.

"Honey, would you like to talk to me?" she asked softly.

"Yes, mom!" I said angrily. "I would. Tell me what the hell is wrong with
this situation? Do you see anything at all wrong with it, other than the
fact that it's incest, gay, and probably illegal?" I yelled as the door
shut behind her. "Do you see anything wrong? I'm going to die! I'm going to
die, and Jason is acting like it's no big deal! Like he's here because he
quote unquote, loves me." I said making quotations in the air with my
arms. "It's not real, mom! He's sorry for me! So are all of you! I'm dying,
and so every fucking day, I have to look over my shoulder because death is
so near. Mom, I go into coughing fits, and it takes an hour to be normal
again! Did you know, that whenever I see someone at the fire station, and
they see my face sweaty, and red, they ask if I've coughed up any blood?
Mom, people scatter when I walk into a room! It's not fucking contagious!
Although, people are sure acting like it! Jason's just gonna have to live
without me, because I’m leaving."

"Blade, if you'd only take the time to talk to him." my mom said
bitterly. "He's here because he's in love with you. Tell me, what do you
see in him? Why do you love him? And do you?" she asked standing up
again. "Has the love faded out of your relationship, Blade? Are you two
ready to go back to just being brothers again?" she asked making a fist at
me. "Tell me."

"I love him with all my hear." I said softly. "But mom, it's been a long
fucking time, since I've held his hand, and felt that electric shock that I
always feel. It's been a long time since I've kissed him, and actually felt
something from it. Mom, I'm dying to feel him again the way I used to! I'm
crazy about him! Mom, I know it's too much info, but I'm dying to hold him,
and love him like it used to be!"

"And you can't do this because why? Because you're so convinced that he's
here because he's sorry! You! You think you know it all, you think you know
just how people are wired, Blade! Let me tell you, son. You don't! And you
know, I don't. I'm only so smart, Blade. I'm only human. Blade, you're
losing your brother, but you're losing him on your own will. You're pushing
him away! Soon, he'll be tired of it all, and you'll be left alone."

"I'll be dead before long." I said sighing.

"And that's another fucking thing! Why the hell are you so bent on being a
jack ass? On insisting that you _are going to die! On insisting that you
_are going to be dead before so and so time, and that you shouldn't have
love? You're such a dick! You used to cling to him! You used to cling to
everyone! Why the hell are you doing this to yourself, Blade? You know
what, I can't help someone who isn't willing to help themselves. Jason
can't either. I'm going to leave now. You come down when you're ready to. I
can't help you anymore. It's all on you. I've had a fucking nuff." she said
sighing. "Your intelligence, is undisputable, son. But your anger, is
unexplainable, and irrational. Bye, Blade." she said sighing.

She was gone. I knew I had to leave. The pain was too much for me. All that
stuff that she had just said hit the nail on the head. She was right. I was
being a dick, and I really hated it. Overcome by sobs, I got off my bed,
and I walked out. I walked down stairs, and heard yelling in the kitchen. I
grabbed my wallet, and my phone, and I left. I was so surprised by my own
behavior, that I hesitated for a moment. For just the tiniest fraction of a
second. Then, I walked off and left. I got into my mom's car, and drove
off. I had to leave, and never come back. I needed to leave. I had to get
out of Washington. To get as far away from Jason as possible. I drove, and
drove and drove. I had no clue how long I'd been driving. But I kept on
going. A car drove in front of me before I could stop, and I saw the couple
kissing in the window. I beeped my horn as loudly as I could, but the
reaction of the man and the woman was too late. The cars swerved, and both
cars flipped. I was on the bridge that divided the two sides of the city. I
watched as my own car flipped, and the car rolled over mine. I felt a
squeezing sensation, almost as if I was being trapped in a tube that kept
getting smaller and smaller. I was trapped, and I was sideways, or upside
down, or something. I heard the breaking of glass, and saw out of the
corner of my eyes the other car plunge downward and over the bridge. I
screamed, but the car was squeezing me, and I was unable to move. My chest
was unable to expand and contract properly. I tried to yell, but I had no
air. There wasn't enough to pull in and yell. I didn't feel pain. I felt
quite good, but for the fact that I was trapped in a car.

As I was quiet, I could hear something dripping somewhere near me. I could
only breath so much, because my lungs could only expand so far, and
contract so far. So, as I tried desperately to breath, I could smell
something strange in the air. It was only after about five minutes, that I
realized it was the smell of gasoline. Wait a minute, that was a very
flammable substance! If something sparked, I was screwed! I was very
screwed! I could die!

"Someone, help." I moaned. It was hopeless. I could only whisper. "Please,
help." I began to cry. What the hell had I done to deserve this? Was it
possible that God was trying to tell me something? "Please, Lord. I'm
sorry. Help me." I pleaded as I tried to draw in some air.

I felt my car shift, and I heard a lot of bustling around me. I listened as
a lot of voices yelled and screamed.

"Hurry! If we don't get anyone whose alive out, and the car ignites,
they're dead!" "Any word on the second car?" "No! It plunged over! I saw
it. Please, sir, I know someone's alive in there!"

It was a lady's voice. I just began to cry again as the car was
shifted. Soon, I could feel wind in my face, and I saw a glint of gold. It
was a familiar face. It was a fire fighter from my crew! Seth, who was one
of my friends. It was him! As he of a couple other people extracted me, I
remembered being so glad that they'd gotten to me in time.

"Holy shit, Blade!" Seth yelled as he lifted me out of the wreckage. "Fuck!
Are you okay?"

I could breathe again! I was out! I could breathe again! I remember just
crying as I was moved back into the ambulance. I just remember crying. Two
seconds after the men had set me down, there was a screaming and the car
exploded in flame. I watched in horror as the flames became higher and
higher. Soon, they were over fifteen feet, as the fire men began to try and
control that fire. I could've been in there! I could've died! He took me
out a minute before the car caught on fire! Someone was looking out for me,
and I didn't know who.

                  **

"If the Lord shall take my life before he takes yours, I'd only ask for two
things. I'd ask him to fuse my soul to yours, in order to prevent another
from entering and loving you. To stop a thief from stealing my love, and
tasting the sweet pleasure that I tasted at your hands. That way, he who is
a thief shall not take what shall always be mine. If the Lord takes my life
before he takes yours, I would ask him to let me be an angel. To let me be
your angel. That way, I can watch where you step, and guard you day and
night. And if there shall ever be another, that dares take what I once had,
I would surely die of jealousy in that very heaven that I am in."

Composed by Blade Jameson, to Jason Jameson. Summer of nineteen
ninety-eight.

                  **

As I drove back home, with Blade in the passenger seat, I thought over how
Conchita had acted. She was blind, managing a store, that had just burned
down. Her brother still cared for her. Living with an existing heart
condition, and falling in love. I had my own problems. Blade knew I was
going to eventually lose my sight. Yet, that was never an issue. It was
more an issue that he had cystic fibrosis, and that he may be dead in the
next week or two. But I didn't care. I loved my brother, and I was here for
the long run. He was as much a part of me as I was a part of him, and he
needed to know that. When we got to the house, I got out of the car and
slammed the door shut. I watched a little shocked as Blade bolted for the
front door, and ran into the house. I ran in behind him, but was too
late. He was already running up the stairs.

My mom and my aunt were sitting on the living room couch. Aunt Linda held
my mom tight as she kissed her. They both gazed at each other in pure
adoration. That was a look that Blade and I hadn't shared in ages. I stared
as I closed the front door.

"What did you do to Blade?" my aunt asked as she pulled away from my
mom. "He was ran up the stairs crying."

"It was you guys!" I yelled as my heart ached for him. "Sitting on the
couch displaying your little fuck show!"

They didn't say anything as I let myself fall on to the couch across from
them. "You morons have no clue how you made him feel."

"Why would it matter what we did?" Linda asked a little confused.

"Because Blade and Jason haven't been able to feel anything in their
relationship for a little while, Linda. Sorry, love." she said softly. "We
should've been a little bit more careful."

"Oh, I wonder why!" I yelled without being able to stop it.

I tried to call him to dinner, but I'm not even sure that he knew that I
was calling on him. I'd walk into his room, and he'd be lying curled up in
a tight ball with tear streaks on his face. He was lying on the bed in the
guest room, in the dark. He never came out of his trance during dinner. So,
it was just my mom, aunt Linda and I. So, after dinner, I decided to go for
a run. Well, it was a walk. I couldn't run with my aunt's Thai food sitting
in my gut. I told my aunt to let mom know where I had gone, as mom was
upstairs talking to Blade. Hopefully, everything would be better when I
returned. Yet, somehow, it was all going to unravel, and something would go
wrong.

When I got home from my run, the VW that belonged to my mom was not parked
in the drive. It was strange to find my mom and my aunt in the living room,
when their car was gone.

"So where the hell is Blade?" I asked as I put my water on the coffee
table. "What did you do to him this time?"

"Blade's up stairs." my mom said sighing. "I talked to him a little bit."

"So then, who'd you lend the VW to?" I asked a little confused.

"What?" my mom and my aunt both said at once.

"The Volkes is gone. I see the bug in the drive way, but the Volkes Wagon
is gone."

They both got up and walked to the window. I saw their faces form grimaces
as they looked into the drive. I looked at both of them, and saw
comprehension dawn on my mother's face. Her features tensed, and she became
very red.

"Oh, hell no." she gasped as she looked around for the keys. "Oh fuck no,
he didn't leave."

"Did he tell you he was leaving?" I asked as my insides became numb again.

"Yeah, but I'm sure he's just acting a fool. He'll be back soon." she
muttered. "Fucking bastard." I heard her say under her breath. "Filthy
coward."

"Call his phone, LaToya." my aunt said sadly. "See if he answers."

I waited with bated breath as my mom called. There was no luck. I saw it in
her face as she hung up the phone. She sighed. All three of us just sat
back down on the couches.

"I have a feeling he's not really leaving." I said sighing.

I couldn't quite explain it, but I had a feeling inside of me that I
couldn't get rid of. Blade wasn't going anywhere. I knew he wasn't. Blade
would come back. He'd come around. Or was I simply denying the fact that
this happened whenever we were doing okay? He'd just get up and leave
either by his own free will, or because someone had to make it happen. But
I knew Blade would come back. I just knew it. He couldn't stay away
forever. He'd be in touch with my mom and my aunt, if not with me. Although
I couldn't believe he was being such a fucking bastard.

It was around mid night, when I heard a ring. The telephone in the living
room was ringing. I heard movement, and settled back on my bed knowing that
my mom or aunt would get the call. There's a saying, that if you get a call
after eleven PM, it's usually very unlucky. Boy was it ever.

"Jason!" I heard a voice calling. It was a bone chilling scream that made
my heart stop. "Jason! Jason! Wake up! Linda!"

I got out of bed, and slipped my shoes on. I opened my door and ran down
the hall and down the stairs. My mom was standing in front of the living
room window looking out over the drive. Tears were streaming down her face.

"There better be a damn good explanation for why you're getting me out of
bed at twelve in the morning." my aunt said as she came walking in. "Or
you're dead, Toya."

"Get the keys to the bug!" my mom said looking at me. "Your brother's in
the hospital. He's been in a car crash."

"Good one." my aunt said softly as her anger melted away.

"Is he okay?" I asked as I made my way back up stairs.

"They don't know. The car was totaled. Hurry, son." she said as I ran into
my room.

I quickly pulled a shirt on, and pulled my Speedos off. I slipped into a
pair of jeans, and grabbed my denim jacket. I grabbed my phone, and the
keys to the bug, and left. I pushed my glasses on as I walked out the door
with the two women behind me. We all piled into the bug, and I drove
away. The drive to the hospital was silent, and sad. All of us thinking the
same terrible thought. What had happened to Blade? Was he okay? I didn't
know if I could stand it if anything happened to him. My mom and my aunt
were sitting in the back, both of them silent. It took us a little over
forty-five minutes to get to the hospital where my brother was. I saw a
familiar figure coming towards us. It was one of the members from Blade's
crew. I had met him already so many times. His name was Seth. He was coming
towards us, at a fast speed. My mom and my aunt got out of the bug just as
I did. Seth came around to my side to speak with me.

"Jason! Oh, man! I'm so glad you're here, dude. You heard? I was about to
call you guys."

"What the hell happened?" I asked as my mom and my aunt joined me.

"I'm not sure! When we got there, after someone had called nine one one, we
found the VW totaled. It was smashed! Blade was still inside, and there was
little time to get him out. There was a bad gas leak, and we knew that
there was a ninety-ten chance that it would spark and burst into flame. So,
we got him out of the wreck, but not even five seconds afterward the VW was
a ball of flame."

"How's my baby?" my mom managed through a sob.

"He's fine. He's just really, really, fucking scared. That scared the shit
out of him. He got pretty traumatized. Pour guy was trapped in the car for
a long ass time."

As Seth had been explaining what had happened, my mom and I had made our
way with my aunt into the hospital. The lady that saw us jumped up from her
seat. She came walking over to us.

"Which one of you is Jason Jameson?" she asked calmly.

"That would be me." I said catching her eye.

"And you two are LaToya Dilson, and Linda Dilson?" she asked sadly.

"Yes." they said at once.

"Seth, take them to the waiting room. Lily isn't quite done with Blade
yet."

"Sure thing." Seth said as he motioned for us to follow.

"What's happening?" asked my mom a little too loudly.

"Blade is in the hospital room with a psychologist. The doctors and nurses
are trying to calm him down. There's just too much that happened for
someone to take in." the lady said sighing. "We've giving him sedatives and
hopefully, he'll be calm enough to go home."

We all made our way to the waiting room. It was silent, but for the music
playing from the speakers. Doctors and nurses kept on passing through and
walking into different rooms. From one part of the hall way which led off
to more rooms, I could hear the faint beep of a heart monitor. I hoped so
badly that Blade would be okay. It seemed like it took forever, but it was
only ten minutes later that a lady came walking over to us.

"Hello, LaToya, dear. I didn't know this was your son. You speak highly of
him." said the lady coming over to us. "This must be your Jason." she said
shaking my hand.

"Nice to meet you." I said standing up.

"Pleasure is all mine. Blade is asking for you." she said looking straight
at me. "While he goes in there, I need to speak with you both." she said
taking my mom and my aunt aside as I made my way to the hospital room.

I walked inside, and saw that it was full of light. Blade lay on a cot
looking defenseless, and anguished. I knocked on the door twice and walked
in. Tears were streaming down his face and he was shaking violently as I
walked into the room. There was an IV hooked to his left arm. Our eyes met,
and he let out a moan. I bolted over to his side and leaned down and held
him tight.

"Oh, Blade! Are you okay?" I asked as I pressed my hand to his forehead.

He was having trouble talking, as he sobbed. "Jay! Son!" he sobbed as he
tried to hug me.

"Careful, love." I said pushing his left arm down. "You've got a needle in
you. God, Blade. Are you okay?"

"Jason! I'm so scared! I want to go to sleep, but I can't. I'm scared I'll
have nightmares. Jason, the fire. It was huge. I could've been in there! I
was trapped in there for so long! I couldn't breathe, and I thought I was
dead! I could hear the gas and smell it. It kept on dripping and the smell
was so bad. I'm so scared, Jase!" he sobbed as he clung to me by one
arm. "Oh, Jason! Jason! Jason!" he sobbed as he shook.

"Blade, mom and aunt Linda are out there. Are you ready to go home?" I
asked still holding him tightly.

"No!" he yelled as he pushed me away with both hands. I fell backwards and
my head hit the tile floor. "No! I won't go! I'm never getting in a car
again! No! You can't make me! I'm not going, Jason! If you make me get into
the car, I will kill you!" he yelled through sobs as tears streamed down
his face. "Jason, I swear! So help me God I will rip your fucking balls off
while you're alive!" he yelled. "I'm not going!"

My head was throbbing with the pain. I had no idea that even now, Blade was
stronger than me. I got up and the room spun. I had no clue that a nurse
happened to be standing nearby.

"Sir?" she said walking into the room. "Are you all right?"

"I think so. I said looking around. "The pain's going away." It was
true. The pain was quickly going away. I'd managed to catch myself before
my head bounced. Thankfully.

"I'm not sure if we should fill up another IV." she muttered looking at a
screaming Blade. "He's very upset. Don't take that personally." she said as
I sat down beside him.

"Of course not. He's been through a lot." I said as I rubbed my
head. "Anyway, Blade, please." I said sadly. "Let's go. Mom will drive."

"I can't! No, Jason! I can't!" he sobbed. "I can't! I'm scared! I can't go
in there! Please, Jason! Please! If you love me, you'll let me walk home!"
he sobbed.

"You'll be asleep that whole way, bro. Trust me. Mom will drive with
caution. We'll all be with you." I said sadly.

The blue in his eyes was no longer a clear deep shade. I could no longer
get lost in it. The blue had become icy, and solidified. There was no light
in his eyes. There was only fear, and anger. Blade was more different now
than at any other time in his life. Even when he had been in the hospital
recently. He looked hopeless. He looked defenseless. He looked like he
really had trouble coping. I had no clue what to do. My mom and my aunt
came in, and they both hugged and kissed him. I wished so much that it
could be the way it used to. Even now, when I had just held him in my arms
it wasn't the same. Blade didn't give off that feeling that he was
reciprocating the love in our relationship back to me. It was
strange. Hurtful in a way, to know that maybe, it was over.

"Blade, you'll be fine. Jasson will be right beside you, and Linda and I'll
be careful. Please, honey, you have to get home and go to sleep. You need
to rest, baby."

"No, mom! Don't you understand? It's hard! I can't go to sleep! I can't!"
he sobbed pulling at his IV.

"Oh, oh, oh!" I gasped. "Don't, Blade! No! You could hurt yourself!" I said
reaching over and placing my hand over the IV needle and gently moving it
back into place.

"I will have bad dreams, mom! I know I will! I'll have images of the car!
Mom, please! Just let me walk home!"

"Blade, damn it! The hospital is on the other side of town! You can't walk
home! Besides, you have all this medication in you! You'll fall asleep on
the way! Baby, please! Just come home with us!"

Blade was sobbing hysterically on the bed. It was a sight to see. His hands
were over his head, and he shook as the sobs over took him. "Please." he
mumbled sadly. "I'm not ready to do this yet. I'm begging you. I can't be
in there! Mom, please! I'm not going to be able to get behind the wheel
anymore!" he moaned. "Please, mom. Don't make me do this. If you love me,
you'll leave me here!"

"Blade, please! I'll be right with you." I said sadly. "Please! I'll be
right there. I promise. Mom and aunt Linda are always careful. Besides,
Seth told me what the lady that saw the accident told him. The girl was
playing with her man while they drove. They were both teens."

"And do you know what happened to them, Jason?!" yelled Blade. "They died!
Both of them! I saw it! The car plunged over the bridge, and down! They
both died!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. "The VW was right on the
edge! I could've been there! I could've been the one plunging down to my
death!"

My mom and aunt Linda were crying to, now. I have to admit, I really wanted
to cry as well. That image must've been terrible to see. I got up, and
walked over to my mom and aunt Linda. A lady came walking in. It was the
psychologist that had been with Blade a while ago when we'd first gotten
here.

"Blade, honey," she said lying a hand on his forehead. "If you leave with
your family right now, what is the worst that could happen?" she asked.

"I don't know." he said still crying. "I could die. Jason and my mom and
aunt could die. We could all get into a crash."

"Jason, honey, I made a very big mistake." my mom said sadly wiping her
eyes. "Honey, I never took the VW to get repaired. It had faulty air
bags. They didn't deploy when they needed to. Blade honey, please. Let's
just get you home so that we can take care of you."

"Blade, if you get up and go home, the worst that can happen is that you
guys miss a turn." the lady said calmly. "Your mother will drive a
different way home, won't you, LaToya?"

"Yes!" my mom said pleadingly. "I promise, baby. I'll take a really safe
way home. With no bridges. Please, baby. Let's just get home, and Jason and
I and aunt Linda can take care of you."

"But I'm so afraid." he moaned as he reached for my hand. I took his and
gently held tight. "I'm so scared. Every time I close my eyes, I see the
flames. They could've gotten me." he said sadly. "Mom, I saw the other car
fall."

"Blade, if you get home now, you'll be even safer." the lady said
sadly. "If you make it home, you can make it anywhere. Trust me. Jason will
be right beside you the whole time."

"You promise, Jase?" he asked looking straight into my eyes.

"Yes, Blade. I promise."

"Mom?" he asked as more tears fell on to the pillow. "Hug me." he begged.

I stepped back as my mom came to hug her son. He took a while to regain his
composure. Aunt Linda hugged him, too. I didn't know if I wanted to, or if
I should just stay back. The nurse came and removed his IV. He slowly sat
up.

We all made our way slowly to the reception area. Blade was still silently
weeping as we left. I could hear him sigh every once in a while and see the
tears falling from his face and on to his chest. He looked so tired, and
aged, and so helpless. He broke down again when he got to the car.

"I can't do it, mom. I can't do it." he moaned. "Please! I just don't feel
good! Please!" he begged. "Please!"

"What would it take for you to be able to go in and feel okay?" my mom
asked.

"Nothing! I just wanna get away from here! The bug is smaller! What if
something happens to us?" he moaned. "The bug is so small!"

"Blade, what if I told you that I would be right there?" I asked looking
straight into his eyes. I walked around the bug and wrapped an arm around
his waist. "Would you feel a little better?"

"You promise?" he asked taking my face in his hands. "Jason, you swear on
the picture of Saint Jude that we have in our room?" he asked looking at me
with those cold blue eyes.

"Yes, Blade. I'll be right beside you." I said almost turning away.

He was trembling. He was breathing so fast, it was almost to the point of
hyperventilation. He was sobbing as we both climbed into the back seat of
the bug. I pulled him to me, and held him close. I could feel his heart
beating against his chest, almost as if he'd just ran the mile. His arms
wound around my shoulders tightly, and he trembled as my mom back away and
swung the door closed. As soon as the door slammed shut, Blade began to cry
again.

"I changed my mind! Let me out!" he yelled as he tried to free himself from
me and open the door.

"Blade, stop!" I yelled tightening my grip on him. "Please! Stop!"

"You promise you'll hold me?" he whispered so low that only I could
hear. "Promise?"

"Yes, Blade. I will. You don't need to be afraid." I said still holding
tight to him.

My mom started the engine, and Blade seemed to calm down a little. I kissed
his cheek and stroked his hair. His breathing seemed to calm as we began to
drive.

"I love you, Blade." I said sadly. "I just want you to know."

"I love you, too." he said sadly as his eyes closed.

Blade was asleep the whole time. I could feel him shaking against me, and
every once in a while, he would jump, and gasp, but he'd go right back to
sleep. It was strange, but I did feel sorry for him at this point. Not
because of his condition, or because I thought he was weak. I knew that no
matter how old you get, it's hard to see so of what he described. Some of
those images were very graphic. I didn't think he was weak, I just thought
he'd somehow digressed. He was now a little boy again. It was perfectly
normal. I saw his face turned towards me. As we drove, I gently lifted his
chin a little and kissed him. My lips gently touched his, but he didn't
move. I held that kiss for a little while, before I gently pulled away.

"We're here, Jason. I'm not sure if we should wake Blade up." my aunt said
sighing.

"He still has to eat, Linda." my mom said sighing. "That way, he won't just
go to bed with an empty stomach."

"Where the hell was he going, anyway?" my aunt said sighing.

"Store." my mom said looking downward.

"Mom, stop. We both know he was trying to run away. Quit lying."

"Well, Jay, I didn't know how much you knew." she said sighing.

"We're here, Prince." I said shaking Blade gently.

He opened his eyes. He looked up at me, and gently moved off of me. We all
got out of the bug, and made our way to the house. My aunt opened the door
and ushered us all in. Blade hugged her, and my mom. He turned to me, and
we both hugged. He pressed his lips to my ear.

"Jason." he whispered so low, it was almost hard to hear. "Don't leave me,
Jason."

My mom and my aunt had made it all the way to the kitchen as we stood
there. I gently kissed him again, and he looked shocked. For just the
briefest moment, I saw the color in his eyes liquefy again, but then, it
was hard and cold.

It took him a while to eat. I saw that he kept on staring off into space as
he ate. I wondered at that precise moment, what it could be he was thinking
off. It was around two in the morning when we all went to bed. We both
changed, and we both climbed into bed. My mom and aunt Linda had made him
promise that if he needed them, he'd call. Hopefully, things would be okay
during the night. Sort of. It was almost dawn. I climbed into the bed, but
Blade climbed into the window seat.

"Blade, come to me." I said sadly as I lay on my side. "Please, love."

"No." he said sighing. "I can't go to sleep. I'll dream, if I sleep. I
don't want to dream."

"Blade, please. I'll be with you the whole time. I'll hold you, if you'd
like." I said sighing.

"No." he said a little too coldly. "It's sort of too late."

"Blade, please. You look so tired. Please, Blade." I said sighing. "Come to
me. Please."

"Jason, you don't get it, do you? It doesn't matter that I'm a fucking
thirty-four year old, and I'm scared. You don't have a clue what I saw."

"You're right." I said without hesitation. "And you're not weak for it
either. You're not weak because you got scared. Blade, it's a hard thing to
go through. A lot of what you saw is pretty bad. But I'm here to help you,
Blade. Please. Come to me. Blade?"

"Jason, am I that mean?" he asked sadly. "God's trying to punish me."

"Blade, you tried to run from me. You tried to run from your feelings. I'm
not here because I feel sorry for you. I am here because I love you. You
tried to run away. I know fully, what your intentions were tonight. But
he's giving you a second chance. Blade, I've always loved you. I always
will love you. It's up to you how you interpret that love. You tried to run
away, and it's not supposed to be like that. Maybe, that couple that was on
the road and hit you did something bad beforehand. That's why they
died. You're lucky. That VW was totaled."

"Mom and aunt Linda are going to let me have it in the morning." he
whispered as he sat at the window. "I destroyed their car."

"Oh, Blade. They can get another one." I said sadly as I reached out to
him. The lamp was still on, so he could still see my gesture. "We just
can't get another Blade."

He jumped off the seat, and came over to me. He climbed into bed beside me,
and I reached for him and pulled him into my arms. He was crying as he fell
against me. His eyes were streaming again, and he had an expression that
could break a million hearts to pieces. It took him a while to tell me his
story. I didn't stop him, either. I just wanted him to be able to talk
about it and not break down. There were times when he told me parts of it,
and it took him a while, because he had to stop and compose himself.

"You're safe now, Prince." I said softly. "I'm here for you, and so are mom
and aunt Linda. You're in very good hands."

"I know I am." he said softly. "I'm sorry for acting like such a dick."

"You have your reasons, Blade. It all makes you stronger." I said.

"Jason?" he whispered softly.

"Yes, Blade?"

"Can I ask you to do something for me?"

"Anything you'd like." I said softly.

"No matter how stupid and ridiculous?" he asked.

"Yes." I said staring into his eyes.

"Can I just have one kiss?" he asked softly. "Please?"

"That's not a ridiculous request." I said softly.

My arms tightened around his mid section, and his around my shoulders. We
both leaned towards each other and our lips met. I felt it this time. That
feeling that I would always get when Blade and I were together. That shock
of electricity, and pleasure that I always got while at his hands. I
watched in amazement, as those cold blue eyes turned into liquid, and
became warm and clear. I moaned as I squeezed him as tightly to me as I
could. I could feel the smoothness of his skin on mine as we lay their
glued together by our lips.

"I love you, Jase. I just want you to know that. With all my heart and
soul."

"I love you, too, Blade. Really." I said looking straight into his
eyes. "For a moment, which seemed like the longest of my life, I thought
I'd have to live without you. I just don't know what the hell would happen
to me. I can't stand the thought of not being with you. If you die, it has
to be natural. Not because two idiots are fucking around in their car."

"Jason, I'm so afraid. I can't close my eyes. I'll be trapped in a
dream. The fire." he whispered. "I'm afraid of the fire."

"You'll wake up, Blade." I whispered kissing him again. "I promise."

It didn't take long for him to fall asleep. His eyes fell closed, and I
smiled at him as I removed my glasses. I wrapped one arm around his waist,
and the other around his shoulders. Blade was relaxed in my arms, and there
was something about him that made him somehow boyish. Somehow, he was
smaller than me, not in height, or in age, but in some other way I couldn't
explain. It was as if over night, I had become the big brother. He wasn't
out of the woods yet.

When I awoke the next day, it was to find the sun streaming through the
window. The curtains had been pulled back by someone. Blade was still
beside me, and he was awake. I saw him staring at me through blurred
vision. He was staring as if trying to read something in my face, or my
manner of sleep. I felt it before I asked him. The mood was not happy. It
was not friendly, either. That's when I realized that I was not holding
him, like I promised I'd be doing when he awoke.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Fine." he said a little rudely. "Think I'm going to get into the shower."

"Great." I said rudely back. I was very not mature.

"Hey, if you'd like to go first, be my guest. You could just call it."

"Go take your shower, Blade." I said angrily.

He got up, and stretched. I saw him wince as he moved. It looked like he
was in pain. I opened my mouth to see if he was okay, but closed it
again. What the hell.

I went down stairs to find my mom or my aunt. They were getting ready to
leave. The mood was much friendlier down here.

"Blade doing okay?" my mom asked.

"Let's just say, we both woke up on the wrong side of the bed." I said
sadly. "Just don't mention anything."

"So you two got into a fight?" my mom asked a little angry.

"Not a fight, an argument."

"Jason, you bastard! Where the hell did you put the little tiny scissors?"
Blade yelled coming down the stairs.

"Did you look on top of the medicine cabinet?" my mom asked before I could
open my mouth.

"No." he said quietly. "Sorry."

I went to the kitchen after saying goodbye to my mom and my aunt, and ate
some breakfast. I don't get it. It was fine yesterday when we came back
home. It had been fine for a while last week after the migraine. What was
wrong this time? I heard a thud, and a huge bang. Then, I heard yelling. I
got up and ran through the hall way, and up the stairs. Blade was yelling
in the bathroom, and I could hear a huge bang as I ran to the door. I
twisted the door knob, thankfully, it was unlocked. I opened the door, and
a bunch of steam appear. Blade was screaming so loud, it sounded strange as
it echoed off the bathroom walls. I saw the sliding door shake on the bath
tub as Blade threw himself at it. I could see his figure rippling in the
fogged glass that was almost tinted.

"Blade, what's wrong?" I asked through the screams. "Blade!"

"I can't stop the fire!" he yelled as the steam clouds billowed up from the
shower. "I'm trapped! Help me, Jason! Help!" he yelled.

"Blade, turn the latch on the fucking door!" I yelled. "The door slides
open! Turn the damn latch!" I yelled as I heard him slam himself against
the door again. "Turn the water off, Blade! Turn the water off!" I shouted.

"Jason! I don't know what to do! I'm trapped!" he yelled as his fists
pounded against the door.

"Turn the fucking water off!" I yelled so loudly that my throat
ached. "There's a latch on this door! Pull it back, and slide the door
back!" I shouted.

Blade and I went on for about fifteen minutes. He finally got calm enough
to turn the shower off, and the steam sort of cleared a little. He
unlatched the door, and slid it open. His face was completely white, and he
looked like he was about to pass out. He decided not to close the sliding
door, but only close the curtains as he finished taking the rest of his
shower. It was so strange, that Blade had digressed to this level. He was
panicky, and always anxious. It was vapor, for crying out loud.

As he was taking his shower, and getting ready to go to work, I called his
boss. I explained the situation to her, and she told me that he should take
the day off. I told her that he really wanted to go to work, to try and get
some normalcy back into his life. I had her promise to call me if for any
reason, Blade should be unable to work the whole day today. She thanked me,
and I hung up.

Blade didn't eat breakfast. He simply got dressed, and left the house. He
didn't even say goodbye. He just left. He had taken his bike again. My mom
and my aunt had gotten another car, and so they were fine. They had bought
another VW from the closest dealer in town. So, for about four hours, it
was just me. It was mid day, when there was a knock at the door. I walked
to the door and pulled it open. There on the other side of the screen stood
two men. Both dark skinned and dark haired, same height with warm beetle
black eyes. I looked at the twins, because that's what they obviously
were. They were identical to the last bit. They have the same eye color,
and shape, the same face, it was almost as if they were a mirror of the
other. I reached over and opened the screen door.

"Hello." they both said simultaneously. They even sounded alike.

"Hello. May I help you?" I asked, confused.

"Are you Jason Jameson?" one of them asked.

"Who wants to know?"

"I'm Samuel Carelli." said one of them.

"So you must be?" I asked pointing to the other.

"Anthony Carelli." said the boy smiling at me. "I take it Dr. Dilson has
told you about us."

"Sure. Come on in. She mentioned you a couple of times." I said as they
both walked in.

                  **

I hated everything about cars. I truly did. They scared me. Not only that,
but I was panicked all the time. It's as if I had a very bad case of
PSTD. I felt strange as I chained and locked my bike at the bike rack. I
didn't want to be with people right now. I wanted to be alone. I just
wanted to be by myself, and try to sort out how I felt. Yet, if I didn't
get into a normal routine, I'd be screwed. My life would have no meaning. I
walked into the fire station, and saw all the fire fighters assembled for a
meeting, it looked like.

The whole day went in a haze. It was one of those days, where you know
you're capable of doing anything and everything that's required of you, yet
you don't remember doing it all. It went by at an okay speed. For me,
anyway. It was about three fifteen when my boss called me into her office.

"What did I do now?" I asked rudely as I walked in and saw her expression.

"Nothing, Blade. You just don't look good. How would you like to take some
time off?" she asked tentatively. "You know, just for a little while?" she
added as she looked at me.

"I can't do that. My position will be taken." I said sadly.

"What if I guaranteed you a place in the squad when you felt ready to come
back to work?" she asked confidently. "I promise, your spot will not be
filled."

"But you'll be short staffed. Who put you up to this, Jason?" I asked as my
blood began to boil. "Who put you up to this?"

"No one Blade. You just look like you need a little bit of time. That's
understandable. You went through a tough ordeal last night."

"No. Don't worry. I'm fine." I said sadly. "I'm perfectly fine."

"Blade, just give up. Just take some time off, it's no big deal." she said
sadly. "That way, you can get yourself together--"

"Are you implying that I'm a weak person?" I asked a little stunned. "Come
on, you know me. No bragging intended, but I'm very good at what I do. Come
on, you have to let me stay."

"Blade, I realize you're very good at what you do. Trust me. I'm just a
little worried about you. You need to take some time off, Blade. That way,
the shock of the accident will be gone after a bit. It'll take time,
though. So, just take a while off, and you can return after you feel
capable."

"Are you sure?" I asked a little tired of this argument. "Because if I take
the time off--"

"I guarantee that you'll have your spot. I promise. When you come back,
you'll be completely fine."

In the end, she won. I'm not sure how much time she'd given me, or how the
hell I was supposed to spend it. I just knew that I wasn't returning to the
fire station the next day. I didn't return home either. I just rode my bike
around town for a long, long time. It was about seven thirty, when my phone
vibrated. I didn't even look at the screen. I just pressed talk, and put it
to my ear.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Mom and aunt Linda wanna know where you are." Jason's voice sort of jolted
me a little and I almost fell off my bike.

"None of your business." I said as my temper got the better of me. "I'll be
home whenever the hell I feel like it."

"Really? Just make sure you have a key." he said before he hung up.

I rode around for about another hour. I must've stayed out long. The sun
had gone down by the time I went back home. I opened the sliding garage
door, and bought my bike in. I parked it where it belonged, and closed the
garage. I walked over to the ebony door that led inside, and opened
it. There was no one in the kitchen. I had a little bit of peace to eat
something. So, I did. No one came to look and see if I had come home. I
felt a little relieved about that. As long as I was here, alone, I was
fine. Oops, spoke too soon. Jason came walking in. My eyes fell on him and
I almost fainted. He looked amazing. He looked angelic, and somehow, he
still had that girlish way to him. I found I couldn't turn away.

"Are you doing well, Blade?" he asked as I finished my yogurt.

"Fine." I replied not knowing what else to say. "Where are mom and aunt
Linda?"

"They are in the living room. They thought you were looking for some peace
and quiet."

"So, why are you here?" I asked confused.

"Oh, I don't know. Does it bother you?" he asked sweetly.

"Yes." I said as I found my anger rising.

"Then, there's your answer." he said with a smirk.

"Jason, you're a faggot." I said fully intending it as an insult.

He looked right into my eyes, and smiled. "Fuck off." he said. It wasn't
directly to me. It wasn't said out loud. He said it under his breath. And
coming have him, it hurt a lot. This person that stood in front of me, this
angel that stood in front of me, had just told me to fuck off. He still had
a very beautiful smile on his face as he said that. Coming from Jason, who
still looked feminine and fragile, it sounded twice as obscene as usual.

I closed my eyes, and tried to bring my anger down. I began to count to
seven like my mom had taught me. I only got to two. "Fuck, you." I said
just as he had done. Not saying it out loud, but just under my breath,
making it heard.

"Look, Blade, I don't wanna be here with you, just as much as you don't
want me. So, how about we make this easier for both of us. I'm going to
leave, and take the guest room, and you can take the time to pull yourself
back together." he said smiling. "I'll see you soon."

What the hell had I just done? "The hell you will!" I yelled angrily trying
to figure out what the hell was happening.

When I returned to my room, I saw that the twin beds had been moved back to
where they originally started out when Jason and I were sharing this room
before I went to college. There was no bouquet of roses that usually sat on
the desk. The roses had welted, and I'd failed to stop and get another
bouquet at the drug store. Which was where I usually got them. Maybe the
energy in this room had gone negative. After all, that's why the roses were
there. I believed in that kind of stuff.

The worst part of being here in the house, was just being _here. I hated
the fact that I couldn't take a good shower, because I would freak out. I
couldn't ride in a car, because I would freak out about that too. To top it
all off, Jason and I were forced to be in the same room most of the
day. When I was in his presence, I hated not being able to touch him. To
hug him, and hold him tight. I hated being away from him when he was right
there. Jason, who was once my source of endless joy, was now causing me
pain. It wasn't because he was gone, it was because he was around. Even
when I was angry at this boy, he still looked breath takingly beautiful to
me. I still saw those features in him that drew me to him. I wanted to make
him happy, and love him. Two days after our fight, he asked if I'd go to
the store with him. I couldn't say no. We were talking formally. Not
rudely, but just like friends. We both got into the bug and drove off.

It was a peaceful drive. I loved the way Jason drove. I loved watching his
white hands grip the wheel as he drove through the streets. He was going at
the speed limit of sixty-five, and every once in a while, his muscles in
his arms would tense when he had to turn the wheel. The windows were both
open, and it gave me the feeling of having more space. I didn't feel so bad
now as I rode with my brother. Just don't ask me to get behind the wheel,
and we're cool. As we drove on, the rain started to fall. It was
Washington, after all. The whole state was bipolar. I closed my window,
just as Jason closed his.

"I'm sorry." he said not looking at me as he kept on driving. "I know you
felt better with them open."

"It's fine. It's raining, anyway." I said sadly. "As long as you don't ask
me to drive, we're fine. So, don't get a migraine. Because if you do, we're
all fucked."

"Watch your lane, you ugly fuck face!" Jason yelled beeping his horn at the
man in front of him. Both men exchanged a rude hand gesture. "Your momma,
you bitch." Jason said angrily.

Jason always cussed when he was angry. Otherwise, his dialogue was very
friendly, and showed his introversion. Like I had mentioned earlier, when
the cussing was coming from his beautiful mouth, and when it was his lovely
voice, it sounded one hundred times worse if you got cussed at by
Jason. Although, he did have a mouth on him.

"Blade," he said softly. "You want to be friends?"

"Yes." I said with an equal softness.

"Okay. Let's start by getting even. You know, the other day you called me a
faggot?" he asked.

"Yes?" I replied uncertainly.

"You're a slut." he said with a warm smile.

"You're an idiot, Jason." I said as the insult stung.

"Blade, you're a brat. A selfish, faggot who can only think about himself."

That one hit close to home. He was quite right about it. I was selfish at
times, hell, almost all the time. He was right. As we drove I noticed that
he was not mad, or angry. He had a smile on his face. It was a pleasant
smile. I leaned back, and closed my eyes. Everything was silent, accept for
the gentle purr of the bug as we drove along. I felt a huge slam on my
right side, and I heard the crunch of metal on glass.

"Jason!" I gasped through a breath as I looked over at my brother.

"Oh fuck no." he said softly as I sat, paralyzed by fear. I couldn't move.

"Oh, hell no, she didn't. Aw, shit."

                   **

My muscles had tense up. Everything in my body was cold as I sat in the
driver's seat wondering what to do. In the seat beside me, Blade fainted. I
saw the color drain from his face as he sat there with his mouth open. The
passenger seat door was squashed in slightly. I just stared for about two
seconds. I pulled into a little spot surrounded by shrubs, and the car that
had hit me pulled in beside me. I got out of the bug, and closed the
door. I watched as a teenage girl got out of the car that had hit me. She
looked very pale and weak. She came over to stand by me, and I looked at
her car. The front was totally smashed in, and her left headlight was
shattered. We both walked around to Blade's side of the car, and saw that
the door was smashed in. The paint had peeled off clear from the front to
the back. I stared.

"It's just a little scratch." she said rudely. "It's not like he got hurt,
or anything." she added pointing to Blade.

"No. Look," I said pointing to the details of the smashed side. "You
smashed his door in. It's not a scratch. You messed up the side of my bug."
I said trying to not get angry.

"I don't have my license on me." she muttered. "So, I need to get yours. I
need to get insurance information, too."

"Wait here. You got a pen?" I asked.

"Yes." she said softly. "I've got a pen."

It took a while for us to exchange information. She was reluctant, and I
knew that she was trying not to put up a fight. We both ended up going
straight to her insurance and filing a claim. It took a little over fifteen
minutes.

"Whose name is the bug under, sir?" the lady asked me looking through a
file.

"Blade Jameson." I said sighing.

"Is that you?" she asked.

"No. That's my brother. I was the driver at the time. He's in the passenger
seat."

"Is the passenger okay?" she asked a little worried.

No. I think this one was it for him. He's probably snapped. As if he really
needed anything else like this to happen to him. That wasn't what really
came out of my mouth. "Yes, he's fine."

"Are you doing okay?" she asked looking me over.

"Yes. She hit my brother's side. Not mine." I replied wishing that I could
just get this over with and see how badly Blade was doing.

"Who is the original owner of the car, miss?" she asked the lady the stood
beside me.

"My dad." she said softly.

"Are you driving as a licensed teen? Or do you have a permit?"

"I just got my license two days ago." she said softly. "I forgot it at
home."

"May I see your license, sir?" she asked looking hopeful at me.

When I got back to the car, I saw that Blade was trembling in the passenger
seat. He looked so white. I waited for about a minute, but the tears didn't
come.

"Are you okay, Blade" I asked hesitantly.

"You promised, Jason." he whispered barely above range for me to hear.

"I know. Take into consideration that that was not my fault. I was not
driving carelessly. It was the teenage girl that hit me." I said sadly as I
looked down on him. I leaned down and laid my chin on the top of his
head. He just sat there, staring straight ahead. I could feel all his
muscles tense as he sat there white as chalk.

"Let's go home, Blade. I'll see about those groceries later." I said softly
as I closed the door.

I peered at the right side of the bug after closing his door, and saw that
it was completely smashed in. It was a miracle the door still opened from
this side. What would it take to push Blade over the edge? Was he actually
himself right now, or was my brother slowly being driven mad by all these
things that kept happening to him? Well, at least, there was the trip to
look forward to.

When Blade and I arrived home, I wondered if anyone would notice. My mom
and aunt Linda would not be happy to see the bug in this state as
well. After all, we just couldn't get another bug. This baby would pull
through, though. It had pulled us all through so many things. I learned to
drive with this beauty. Blade did too. Hell, he brought it with his hard
earned cash. I think, through hell or high water, the bug would have to
pull through. The insurance adjuster would fix it up for us no problem,
right?

"Jason! Please! I'm sorry! I need you." Blade was saying on the other side
of the room. "No. Don't leave. Don't leave, Jason. Please."

"Wake up, you bum." I said bitterly as my eyes opened. It was two nights
after our little run in with a careless teen. Now, Blade and I were
carless. We didn't have to be, but I didn't want any other car, and Blade
didn't care to get another one either. He wanted nothing to do with
automobiles.

"Jason." he said over and over and over. "Jason. Jason."

"Blade!" I said bitterly. "Wake your ass up, man."

I lazily got out and bed, went over to the stereo and turned it on. I took
the mic and turned the volume on the stereo all the way up. I plugged the
mic into the stereo, and put it to one of the speakers. A high squeak sound
rang through the room, and blew our ear drums apart. Blade let out a yell
and clapped his hands to his ears.

"That was necessary because why?" he asked angrily.

"Because you don't let me fucking sleep, dude!" I yelled angrily. "Now, go
to bed, and be quiet!"

"Blade?" I asked the next morning as we lay on both couches watching
television. "Remember Tony and Sam? From yesterday?"

"Sure." he said stretching out and lying down. "Why?"

"Nothing. Just wondering, what do you think about them?" I asked curiously.

"They're cool. I can't believe Tony owns a boat." he said smiling. "The
last time I was on a boat was when I went fishing with Terry. That was a
life boat, though. One of those canoe things. It was small. I mean,
wow. These guys own a ship. I can't believe it." he said smiling.

"Wouldn't it be awesome to go on a sailing trip? You know," I said with a
grin. "Like if you really needed to get away from things."

"I wish I owned a boat. Hell, probably could. Wouldn't be able to steer it
worth shit." he said laughing.

"Well, it just so happens," I said as I stood up and walked over to the
TV. I turned it off. "Tony and Sam invited you and I for a month. I spoke
with your boss, and she said it was the best thing that could ever happen
to you. Oh, that's why I canceled my trip to Haiti." I said
commandingly. "We're going. I said yes to Tony and Sam."

"I'm not goin'. You can go by yourself if you'd like, Jason. I'm not
going." he said bitterly. "Somehow, I don't think spending an entire month
with you at sea is a good idea."

"You don't have a fucking choice, Blade. I just said the "We" word. _We, as
in plural form, you and I. Dig?" I asked dominantly.

"So, in other words, you are telling me, I have no choice?" he asked.

"No, Blade. You have no, fucking, choice. Not this time." I said in low
tones. I wasn't yelling at him. I was letting him know.

Mom and aunt Linda were quite happy about this. I had a feeling they also
wanted to be left alone. Only, mom and aunt Linda both hated the ocean. It
was only Terry, Blade and I that liked it a whole hell of a lot. Well, at
least we got one thing that was good from my dad. We both said bye to my
mom and my aunt when Tony and Sam came to get us. Mom told us to be
careful, and aunt Linda told us not to separate. Blade looked like someone
had died. We all piled into Tony and Sam's little Plymouth. It took us
about an hour and a half to get to the place where their boat was
docked. It took us another hour to get everything prepared. These guys had
to take time to check to see to it that they had everything. Blade didn't
say a word to me the whole time. Hell, none of us said words to each other
that whole time. Tony and Sam had had a chat with me earlier, and they knew
what was going on. I hated the way both of them kept giving each other
these goofy looks. The kind that if mine and Blade's relationship wasn't on
the rocks, we'd be giving each other right about now. When we all got our
bags on to the boat, and to our cabins, it was already close to
sunset. Blade looked so miserable.

"Here are a few rules for your own good. So, please listen carefully." said
Tony pretending to get a book and read from it. Although it was a bible he
held in his hands.

"Shall we brief them, big boy?" Sam asked coming to stand behind his
brother and peering over his shoulder at the page. "Start with the scary
stuff, first."

"You guys do know how to drive this, right?" Blade asked with a crooked
smile. "You will get us safely to sea, and safely back home? I'm too young
to die. I'll die on my own, thank you." he added with a laugh.

"Well, you two ever been on a boat?" Sam asked flicking a lock of Tony's
hair.

"Yep." Blade and I both said a little scared.

"Well, if you get sea sick, tell Tony and I." Sam said smiling. "This baby
will start rocking once we get sailing. Now, you two are not allowed to ask
us where we are, unless we feel we should tell you. Unless we feel it's
necessary for you to be notified. Otherwise, you two are just going to lose
yourselves. Orders from Miss Dilson." he said as Blade's mouth fell open.

"Now, when you guys are with us, because believe me, you will be, you are
required to keep a life jacket near. That's taken care of, because my
brother and I have those." Tony said with a grin.

"There will be waves that are higher than this boat, and they will soak
you. So, be wearing clothing that can be soaked. In sea water." Sam advised
as Blade and I gave each other goofy grins.

"Is it too late to go back?" asked Blade with a laugh.

"No." I said smiling. "Let's do it."

"Too late." both brothers said blocking our paths. "Too late."

"We do have life boats, in the event that we capsize, or sink." said Tony
making my gut sink to my feet.

"Jason, you idiot! What the hell are you getting us into?" Blade asked
laughing loudly.

"That's never happened before." Sam said reassuringly. "So, I think we have
good chances of making it through this one. Anything else, Tony?" he asked
grinning.

"No. Not that I know of. Don't bring anything on deck that will get wet
that's electronic. Bad idea. Kay. Let's get the hell out of here."

Blade and I spent the next couple of hours with Tony and Sam. They showed
us how to steer as we left Port. It was strange, but it was cool at the
same time to see the ship at full mast. Blade seemed to be having a good
time as we sailed. The rocking of the boat seemed to be throwing off our
balance, because Blade and I staggered into each other at least twice. Both
times, Blade caught me around the waist, and held me for the briefest
second. His eyes had solidified again, and were bitter and angry. Tony and
Sam showed us the steering mechanism that the ship had, to keep going while
no one was in the cockpit. All too soon, Blade said he really had to go to
bed. He gave us all a wave, and left.

"Look at that sky." Tony said fifteen minutes later as we sailed on.

It was amazing. The sky was lit so beautifully, it almost made you want to
stare at it for the rest of your life. I caught a glimpse of what looked
like mars, but I wasn't sure. I saw a few constellations that I had no clue
what they were. I'd taken some astronomy, and astrology, but I had no idea
anymore, because that was so long ago. Four years. Who's counting? I almost
wanted to call Blade back and share this view with him. I knew that he
really didn't want anyone to talk to him. So, I left him be. I left him
alone for a while before going into the cabin that I shared with him. That
way, if he so chose, he had the option of pretend+ that he was asleep when
I returned. He did. When I got to him, I changed into a pair of sweats, and
a sweat shirt, knowing that it was cold as hell, and if I wanted to live to
see tomorrow, I would be wise to do so. I climbed into my bunk and fell
asleep with the rocking of the boat.

                   **

The next day, I awoke refreshed and rested. I felt so amazing lying on that
soft bed. It was as if the mattress itself was full of down. I looked on
the other side, and saw that Jason was gone. I got up, pulled on a pair of
shorts after taking off my warm sweat pants, and took off my sweat shirt. I
put on a pair of sandals, and I walked off. The boat heeled a lot, because
of the amount of waves. As I made my way to the deck, I heard yelling from
the upper level. There was laughing, and I heard Tony and Sam's voices. I
couldn't hear my brother. When I made it up to the deck, I looked
around. Jason was nowhere to be found. Just then, he came walking up to me.

"Sleep well?" he asked giving me a curt smile.

"Yeah." I said returning it. "It was actually very good. Did we ever stop
sailing?" I asked looking over at the.

"I think we stopped sailing at about midnight. I got up just fifteen
minutes ago, and started this baby up again." Tony said smiling. "With no
help from Mr. Lazy pants over here." he said grabbing Sam by the collar and
lifting him off the floor.

"Let's go down to the galley, and you can help me cook. Blade, Jason. You
know' how to steer." Tony said smiling at both of us. "Come on, stud." he
said turning to his brother and wrapping an arm around his waist.

As he left, I realized I hadn't taken a look at my brother yet. The sun was
out, and he was out here with me. I walked before the wheel and stared at
the needle on the compass. Tony had told me what degree to keep it at. I
looked over at Jason, and saw that he was also wearing only a pair of
Speedos, with a bright blue T-shirt. He was holding a bottle of sun block
in his hands. He sighed and put it on the seat. He looked miserable. He was
probably having as bad a time as I was. He looked like he didn't want to be
here. Suddenly, a thought struck me.

"When did you start being so introverted, Jason?" I asked trying to be
friendly.

"A little bit after you left." he said without hesitation. "I think. I'm
not quite so sure."

Jason looked strange to me today. I noticed a lot more than I had in the
last couple months. He looked a little more like a Josie than a Jason. I
stared at him, and felt the strangest urge to hug him. To run at him, and
hold him tight, and protect him from whatever the hell was threatening to
hurt him. I looked at his girlish legs and my gaze traveled up to his
bulge. As always, the outline of his bulge was visible through his
Speedos. I turned away, and wondered what the hell I was supposed to do. It
was obvious that we both weren't having a good time. We were both
miserable.

"So, how was your last trip to Haiti? You never told me." I said trying to
make conversation.

"Fine. The usual. I think the only eventful thing that happened was the
plane having to make an emergency landing. A passenger had a grenade on
board. A stewardess caught him, and they had to high tail it back to the
ground. It was scary." Jason said sighing. "It was sort of unreal, but
everything went too fast for the plane to know about it." I only knew
because I was sitting a row back from him."

"Wow. That must've been interesting." I said sincerely. "Hope it don't
happen again."

"So do I." he said without turning to look at me.

How could this boy be my brother? I called him a boy, because it's what he
was. You could see it in his face. He still had some of that boyish look in
his features. He still looked like a teenager. Yet, in my eyes at the
moment, Jason Jameson looked more like a Josie Jameson. Just remove the
dick, grow a pair of healthy looking breasts, and he was good to go. Those
red lips were beautiful, and delicious. I couldn't help staring at him and
looking at him in rapt fascination. How could this angelic boy be my
brother? I was russet and masculine, where as he was a beautiful white, and
female. I had a extroverted manner, where Jason had a very introverted
sensitive demeanor. I pictured him in my mind's eye with a pair of breasts,
and longer hair. His eyes, which right now looked red behind his glasses,
were so beautiful. He was a little bit smaller, where I was big and buff. I
resisted the urge to reach out and touch that gorgeous body. So beautifully
white, and feminine. It looked like a sculpture's finest work. The only
thing the prevented him from actually being a marble sculpture, was the
fact that that was really flesh under the shirt. Live, warm, soft flesh. It
was really a breathing creature that was standing a few feet away from
me. In my mind's eye I pictured my brother being fucked by me again. A tent
began to appear in my shorts. Jason became Josie, and my tent faded. Yet,
strangely, Josie looked breath takingly beautiful. She once again morphed
into my little brother, and it was the same sight, only male. He was also
breath taking. I felt my eyes moisten, and I tried to hide it from
him. What the hell was coming over me? I looked over at him. He had taken a
seat, and was reading a book. I looked at the title, and saw that he was
reading Hannibal. I stared at it for a while, wondering when he'd taken up
an interest in gruesome fiction. I walked up to him, and looked down at the
page. He was at the part in the book where Jack Crawford is holding his
dead wife in their room. I smiled as I remembered reading that book.

"Where did you get that?" I asked grinning.

"It's my mom's. She lent it to me. Thought it'd be a good read." he said
sounding bothered.

"Is it?" I asked. "For you, I mean?"

"It's okay. Can't wait to get to the scary part." he said sighing. "I'll be
right back. I have a bad feeling about having this book over here."

"Will you help me with the steering?" I asked him five minutes after he'd
returned.

"I don't think that's a good idea. I'm not good at that kind of
thing. Blade, I can barely drive."

I don't know what the hell made me do it. "Jason, would you _fucking grow
up and stop being such a little girl? Quit being a fucking faggot, boy! Get
some of the confidence to do shit back in you!" I yelled glaring at
him. "You're a fucking smart boy!"

Our eyes met. His became angry, and bitter, and he gave me a stare that
would kill. He lunged before I could stop him, and rammed me over to the
side of the boat. His fists began to pummel my chest as an animal look came
over him. Even then, he looked weak, and girlish. I had no clue how it had
happened, but I guess I got carried away, and pushed him the wrong way. I
watched as he slipped, and fell. He flipped upside down, and his glasses
fell off, and disappeared into the sea. No! Not my boy! Not my Jason! I
plunged forward taking hold of a part of the steering equipment, and just
caught Jason by the legs with the other hand. I flung him over the side
again, and he struggled so hard against me. The look in his eyes asked a
question. It look like he wondered why the hell I didn't just let him go
overboard. But if he had gone overboard, it would've been really bad. The
waves were strong, making the boat heel a lot, and it would take us a
helluva long time just to get back to the spot where he would've
fallen. Who knew where the hell those glasses were now. We'd be lucky if we
got a body back. Although, he'd drown for sure. He kept struggling as I
pulled him up and tried to pull him into the safety of the boat. He looked
like a maniac with a killer glare. He stopped struggling as he saw that the
fight was lost. We both just stood there, staring at each other. Then, all
of a sudden a wave came high over the side of the boat. Instinctively, I
ran to my brother, and wrapped my left arm around his waist, while I clung
to the wheel of the boat. The wave was forceful, and threatened to pull us
both over with it. Jason's grip was like a vice as he held tight to
me. When the wave receded back into the ocean, I let him go quickly. It was
then that I realized that he was crying. He kept on repeating something
over and over, and it took me a while to finally get what he was saying.

"What in the hell did I do to you? All I ever did was love you! Why do you
hate me?"

I stared. Jason, my little boy. My little baby brother. My ten years
younger than me, little baby brother. How in the hell could I ever hate
him? How could I hate him, when his father had hated both of us to the
core? When his father had tried to abort both of us, and give us up for
adoption? How could I hate this boy in front of me, when so many times he'd
already been let down by different people? He was my brother, damn it! I
loved him more than anything in the world!

I quickly stripped off my shorts, and wrung them out as much as I could. I
put them back on, and walked over to the sobbing Jason that sat on the
seat, shivering profusely.

"Well?" I asked bitterly. "Get up! Strip out of those clothes, before you
get hypothermia." I said sighing. "Well? Get the hell out of those clothes,
Jason!" I yelled angrily. "It's not like I haven't seen you before! I
changed you, remember? I bathed you. Come on!" I said pulling him up by the
collar of his shirt. "And don't fight, because we both know I'm stronger."

We took off his T-shirt, which clung wetly to his white skin. I took it and
rung it out as much as I could. I pretended it was his neck I was
squeezing, and managed to get a lot of that ocean water out. I handed it
back to him, and I took his Speedos from him. I rung those out as well, and
handed them back. I took his briefs and rung them out carefully. These held
a lot more water than I thought, as they were cotton. I handed them back,
and we both started to walk back down to the cabin. It was strange, but I
wanted Jason right then. More than anything in the whole wide world. I
wanted Jason.

We both made our way back into the cabin, and found clothing to change
into. Jason was still shivering violently, and he looked sick. I couldn't
tell if it was water running down his forehead from his plastered wet hair,
or if he was still crying. Although, I think it was the second one.

"Are you still cold?" I asked looking over at him.

The cabin door shook as there was a knock. "Come in!" we both yelled.

Tony came walking in. He looked happy. Until, he saw us. "Whoa! What
happened?" he asked looking over the scene.

A stream of Spanish came out of Jason's mouth. Tony's expression was
understanding. He nodded at certain points in Jason's story, and when Jason
was done, Tony turned to me. "If you two don't quit shaking in about
fifteen minutes, I'm going to give you guys splash jackets. Damn, we all
should've just worn wet suits. You know, there'll be more waves."

"Thank you!" we both yelled looking at him with glares.

"Well, you boys want breakfast, or what?" he asked.

"Why the hell not." Jason said as he pulled on a heavy denim jacket. I
reached over and fixed his collar. I saw the red creep up to his cheeks,
making him look even more girlish. Damn, Josie! Why do you have to be so in
my face???!!! _Fuck _you!!!! As I was fixing his collar, I saw a look in
his eyes that said "I give up. Whatever." I wrapped my arms around the
boy's shoulders. That's what he is. He's a boy. He's my boy. "You okay,
Jase? Did that scare you?"

"Well, sure. I guess. Okay. It scared the hell out of me." he said as I
raised my eye brows at him.

"It's okay, Jay-Boy." I said softly. "You're safe."

Jason's face exploded into an expression of shock. "You used to call me
that when I was a little baby." he mumbled.

It was true. I used to call him that, until he turned seven. Then, he
became my Little Dude. I still called him that from time to time, but
mostly, it was Jason. "Do you mind?" I asked solemnly.

"No. I don't." he whispered.

"Jason," I wanted to tell him the answer to his question. I wanted to tell
him that I could never hate him. After all, my attitude problems were not
his fault. Although I did become a huge dick and took it all out on our
relationship. The things that I wanted to say stuck in my throat. I just
stared at him. "I bought something for you. I kind of figured being on a
boat would make you less careful than you usually are. Unwillingly, of
course." I added hastily as I took a makeup bag from my suit case.

"Bro, I don't use makeup. I'm not _that gay." he said without smiling at
me.

"Open the fucking bag, Jason." I said raising my eyebrows at him again.

He opened the bag, and peered inside. He gasped. I saw his eyes strain and
squint to see inside. He finally plunged his hand into the bag and felt
around. He looked at me with a questioning look. "I thought I forgot them."
he said softly taking a little bottle of solution out. It was the stuff he
used to clean his glasses with. "Why did you put all these bottles in here
for? And why four pairs of glasses?" he asked.

"Because I knew that somehow, you'd end up losing them. Or they'd end up
breaking, or something."

"Thank you, Blade." he said softly. "I appreciate it."

I took one of the pairs and reached over to him. I placed it gently on him,
and pushed them up to the bridge of his nose. He looked a lot better. We
both locked eyes, and looked at each other for a while. I just couldn't
take my eyes away from him. The question that he'd asked kept repeating in
my head. I could never hate this boy. He took the bag, and tucked it in a
safe place in his suit case. He gave me a slight smile. Only one of the
corners of his mouth formed a smile. The rest of it was turned down in a
sad frown. I almost yelled.

"Let's go eat, Jay-Boy." I said softly. I walked over to him, and wrapped
my arms tight around him. He struggled a little, but not so much. I leaned
down and kissed his cheeks. How could I hate my little brother? How?

When we got to the Galley, Tony and Sam were sitting there, both with full
plates of food. They gave us a greeting, as we all took our seats.

"You guys like it here?" asked Tony.

"Not the freak waves." I said angrily. "A little warning, Tone? Next time,
huh?" I asked a little bitterly.

"Common sense, Blade. The waves rise, dude. You're gonna get
soaked. There. That enough of a warning for you?"

All four of us laughed and laughed. The meal was great. Bacon and eggs, and
a stack of pan cakes, with sausage. All of us seemed to have a lot to talk
about. Apparently, fire fighting and relief efforts were big on this boat.

"Jason took me to Haiti, once." I said smiling. "It was actually very
beautiful over there."

"It's very beautiful over there." said Jason smiling. "Once you get used to
all the sad faces and little children running around asking for something."

"I will never get used to that." Tony said sadly.

"I swear, you just wanna give them everything you got." Sam added sadly.

Over the next few days, I felt strange around Jason. I began to put two and
two together. I realized so many things that I hadn't realized over the
last twenty-four years of his life. Which was practically his whole
life. Mom and I both knew, and so did dad, maybe, that Jason was gay. He
had been gay since the day he was born. I remember when I would take care
of him, I'd change his diaper, and bathe him. He would always have an
erection. I wasn't sure if it was natural, but he always would have one. It
was at age thirteen that I realized I lusted after that little boy. I had
feelings of guilt, yes. Did I feel like a fucking pervert, of course I
fucking did! As he grew, it became more obvious by the day that Jason was
not straight. I remember many times when I'd be swimming in the pool, with
my mom, and my aunt. Jason, the little fucker, then only nine, would come
out completely naked, and cover himself from head to toe in sun block, so
that he could swim with us. Right after he'd start working the oil into his
skin, I realized that he was teasing me. He knew it, too, that little filth
bag. He knew that he was teasing me. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. My
mom and my aunt would be entertained in whatever the hell they'd be doing,
and I couldn't keep my eyes off him. He was a flirt with me. Mom had told
me that this never happened with dad. With dad, Jason always kept covered,
and always kept a shy profile. It was different now. Whenever he was around
me, he teased me and he knew it, and I teased him, and I didn't realize it
until it was too late. What a complete mess of things. Now, we became half
friends, half enemies. Because although I had just saved him from drowning,
and being lost in the ocean, I admitted to myself that things between Jason
and I still weren't right. My ego kept getting in the way of that. Because
I still couldn't figure out that he loved me truly. I still had that notion
that he was here because of pity. Because he felt sorry. How the hell am I
going to fix this? I hoped so badly, prayed even, that somehow things would
be on the right track again. Soon.

I went back to the talk we'd had when he was eleven. He had seen a porn
flick because he'd caught my dad watching one, and he felt like he'd just
been completely grossed out. He walked over to me when I came home from
college that summer, and told me he needed to talk to someone. That he'd
felt disgusted, and so confused.

"What's wrong, Little Dude?" I asked as we both walked out into the front
yard.

"Can we go for a walk?" he had asked. "I mean, just so that I'm moving when
I talk to you?"

"Sure, sport. Why not."

I let him go in front of me, and secured an arm around his shoulders. He
didn't move away from me. I noticed that he didn't snuggle up to me either,
the way he used to. He looked a little down.

"I saw dad watching a movie." he said softly. "I can't tell mom, because
it's so gross. I mean, I didn't know humans did that kind of thing."

"Well, Jason, you were born. I mean, mom and dad did that for you and I to
be here." I said sadly.

"You're saying, that mom and dad first had sex, then threw up in each
other's mouths to make us?" he asked starting to shake.

"Holy crap, Jason!" I yelled without stopping myself. "What the hell was
the pervert watching?" I gasped.

"I don't know. It was two girls and they were playing with fake plastic
thingys. You know, how Little Blade is really huge when you get scared?" he
asked blushing. "Or when you get really excited about looking at me in the
sun?"

He called his rod Little Jason at the time. So, it was obvious who Little
Blade was. My gut had twisted when I heard him comment on my erection when
he was naked by the pool. I wondered if this was bad.

"Those are called dildos. They're called sex toys, Jason." I had said
softly. "People use them for that kind of thing. It doesn't matter
who. Men, women." I said sighing.

"Dad was watching it. He was sitting on the couch in the living room, and
he was playing with his--" Jason stopped. "He made white stuff come out of
him. It was kind of scary."

That day, Jason had asked me all about sex. If I thought it was wrong to be
gay, or lesbian. He asked me all these questions, and strangely, I found
myself feeling able to answer these questions. Why Terry had a foreskin,
and we both didn't. Why Jason looked the way he did, and I had color in my
skin, he said. He said he felt like an alien. Because he was white white,
not just white.

"Jason, you look beautiful just the way you are. Your glasses pull your
whole look together. You look fine." I had said reassuringly. "I couldn't
imagine having a better looking little brother."

"Yeah, but I like your skin. It's reddish brown, and it looks very
pretty. Kind of like you're covered in war paint. You know, like the
Indians use." he said smiling. "My mom and my aunt have that, too. I wish I
was just like you guys."

"You look like a little doll, Jason. I love the color of your skin." I'd
said softly.

"It's not a color, Blade. I'm colorless. It's a shade. Black is, too." he'd
corrected sadly.

"Blade?" he had asked as his little arms had wrapped around me. "Will you
still love me when I grow up?" he asked sadly. "Will you still get hard?"

"Hell yeah. I'll love you as long as we live. You're my little dude."

I was pulled out of my memory as a huge wave soaked me. I'd been sitting in
the cockpit seat, and now, I was drenched. "Shit!" I moaned. "Damn it! You
can just go to hell." I muttered pointing at the water.

"Well, you're loving to the sea." Jason said making me jump. "Maybe
Poseidon's angry with you. You should make peace." he said. He took my
lemonade and dumped it over the side of the boat. "We come in peace, oh
magnificent Greek god!" he shouted. "Maybe he wants this, too." he said
taking my cookie and throwing it into the ocean.

"Go to hell, Jason!" I growled.

"I'll go get you another change of clothes." he said as he walked back down
to the cabin. A little while later, not even fifteen seconds afterward, I
heard him burst into laughter.

"Go to hell, you faggot!" I yelled unable to contain myself.

"If I have to go to hell to see this kind of comedy, then, make room,
Satan!" he yelled with a loud laugh. "Your life is a train wreck! They
should put it on NCB!" There was more laughter as he disappeared.

I hated his guts so much! So very much! My Speedos began to tent upward,
despite the cold. I let out a moan. "I want you, Jason. Damn it, I want
you. Bad." I groaned as a pre-orgasmic stage hit me. "Fuck. I need to get
off!" I gasped.

"Here's your clothing, you fucking bastard. Be thankful I brought it to
you, dry." he added as he handed me the clothes.

                  **

I lost track of time. We still weren't allowed to ask where the hell we
were. The boat began to heel a lot because of the waves becoming stronger
again. I could get used to this, actually. It was nice. As I brought Blade
a change of clothing for the fourth time this week, I overheard him talking
to himself.

"Oh Jason. Why do you have to be so damn beautiful. I want you! So bad. Why
the hell is this happening to me? Oh, god. I need to get off." I heard him
say as I began to ascend the stairs. "God, I need you. Oh, Jason. I want
you."

I began to make as much noise as I possibly could while walking up the
stairs. When I got to him, I realized he was looking like he was close to
tears. In fact, a tear had already started to gently stream down his
beautiful russet cheek.

"You okay, Blade?" I asked softly.

"Fine. I'm just a little home sick. That's all." he said softly. "I'll take
those." he said gently taking his clothes from me. As he did, our hands
met. I almost passed out from the shock. I saw the huge tent in Blade's
Speedos, and almost laughed. Hell I would've offered to kneel and suck him
right on the spot.

A while after, Tony and Sam decided to anchor on a harbor. They wouldn't
tell us where we were, but we knew that we weren't the only ones on the
boat. Today, Blade did something that made my whole trip. It was the
weirdest incident that any of us have ever been through, but it was
strange, and amazing. When we were at the harbor, I saw someone climb
aboard. It was a tall white man, coming close to Tony, Sam and I. Blade was
at the helm examining the equipment. He smiled.


"I know that I'm trespassing on your boat, Achilles, is it?" he said
smiling. "Do you have an extra pair of batteries? Our magnetic compass is
dead." he said smiling at Tony.

"I'll get them." Sam said getting up from his seat. "Be right back."

"Who are you?" the man asked pointing at me. "Did your mother know she was
making an abomination to God?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sam asked as both of us rose to our
feet.

"It's obvious. Look at you." the man said pointing at me. "Are you a girl,
or a man?"

There was a growl. It sounded like a dog's snarl. I turned and Blade came
to stand in front of me. I watched in disbelief as Blade snarled at the
man.

"I'll kill you." he said in a voice barely above a growl. "I will kill
you."

The argument had escaladed, and Blade had yelled for Sam to hurry the hell
up and give him the batteries. Tony, Sam and Blade had ushered the man off
our boat by spraying fire extinguishers at him. The man had reluctantly
left, still shouting about me, and pointing.

"Well!" I said softly from the cockpit. "Damn! Well, damn!"

                  **

That night, as I walked into my cabin, I spotted Jason lying in his
bunk. His eyes were closed, but he smiled as he heard me. "Good night,
Blade." he said softly.

"Sweet dreams, Jay-Boy." I said softly as I walked over to him and kissed
his forehead.

"What was that for?" he asked a little suspiciously.

"There ain't no reason." I said softly. "Jason, let's be friends." I said
smiling.

He reached out with his left hand, and I shook it gently. "Truce?"

"Truce. You stupid arrogant shit." he said softly.

I'd have to do something about that language problem later. That would come
in its own time, though. I was sure of it. I lay back down in my bunk, and
thought of the day that Jason had been born. For nine months, this little
creature had been connected to my mom through one thin pink umbilical
cord. They'd shared everything. Blood, life, water. She had kept him alive,
and in her, he'd sparked hope for the next day. Hope that maybe, as she
bore this child, her husband at the time would be a little better to all of
us. But he gave us nothing better than hate. In me, Terry only managed to
put distrust and hatred towards him. Unlike Jason, I'd never spoken to him
any more ever since he left. I knew that Jason had, though. The only thing
good about him that we got, was his seed. Born from the same lady, created
by the same father, Jason and I had a bond. It was inexplicable. The
feelings that I'd felt at ten when my brother was born were inexplicable as
well. When he'd been pulled from my mother's womb, he had been wet,
wrinkly, and covered in blood, and placental fluids. The cord was clamped,
a few seconds after, still pulsing with blood and life. I remember taking
the stainless steel scissors and cutting his cord. My dick had hardened at
that moment, and I had screamed out in my head. "He's mine!" Because it was
true. No longer was he sharing my mother's body, no longer was she needed
to keep him going. He was mine. I had cut his cord. I claimed what Terry
didn't arrive at the hospital to claim. He was my little boy. No matter how
old he was, no matter how big he got, he was always go+ to be my little
Jay-Boy. So beautiful he was to me, that I almost cried. I told myself I
was hard because of all the excitement. Right. Of course, Blade. Of course.

Jason was beautiful as a child. Like I'd mentioned before. He was
adorable. He looked like fine sculpting was used on him. The master at work
must've spent a little more time on him, than on anyone else on this
earth. His features captivated me, and drove me to a point I couldn't
explain. Early on, I lusted for him. I lusted for his body. I longed to put
my hands on that oh so warm skin. To kiss those beautiful moist red lips
that always seemed to glisten. Damn, I wanted him even now.

The one thing I loved about him, was that he never held a grudge. How could
anyone hate Jason? How could anyone stay mad at him, when he was so perfect
in every way? He just wanted love, and to know that he could go to someone
when he needed. That's all he wanted. And yet, I was being selfish right
now. I felt a strange urge to go lay with him, and hold him. To touch that
warm skin, and let him know I loved him.

It was Jason whose help I could always count on. Jason who had helped me
through everything. Now, it was Jason who was helping me through a coughing
fit as a thin layer of blood covered the handkerchief that I held to my
mouth. I could feel his hand whacking me on the back, and hear him telling
me to breathe.

I guess I had protected him because I didn't want him hurt. My suspicions
though, they were confirmed. It was obvious to assume that he was gay,
because of his features. The man who had come on the boat knew it right
away. I still remember the feelings that ran through me as the man made fun
and prodded Jason for being gay. It was something I'll never forget. It was
almost like a lion was trying to get out of me as I growled at the man to
leave him alone. I was supposed to protect him.

"We might as well not wear anything on this damn boat!" Tony moaned as
another wave soaked all of us on the third day after the man had trespassed
on the boat. "By the end of this week, we won't have shit to change into!"

All of us stripped, and rung out our clothing. Tony and Sam both laughed a
little.

"Hey, Sammy. How about we let Blade and Jason here, steer." Tony said
sounding a little husky. "I really need to talk with you about something."

Both boys walked over to each other and kissed. Strangely, I wasn't
uncomfortable around them. I watched as they both dropped their clothing,
and fully hugged. I smiled. They both ran off down to the cabin.

"I'm going to get a pair and Speedos, at least." Jason said sighing.

"Just stay there. I'll go get you one. Check the compass." I said as I got
up and left.

When I came back, Jason was sitting on the cockpit seat. He was getting
ready to open a bottle of sun block. I walked over to him.

"I'll do that for you, Jase." I said softly. "Please!"

"I don't think that's a good idea." he said softly. "Blade--"

I handed him his Speedos, and he quickly put them on. I put all our
clothing to dry, hanging it over the wheel. I went back to him, and took
the bottle of sun block from him. "Please, Jason. Let me do this for you."
I said in a whisper.

I settled down on a spot in the seat of the cockpit. Jason settled himself
down on me, placing his head right on my cock, which became stirred with
the movement. I squeezed sun block on my hands, and began to gently do his
left arm. Touching his warm flesh made my cock grow even harder. Jason
gently thrust back, and pushed his head down a little against my dick. I
almost let out a moan, but stopped myself. I did his arms, and started
doing his face. It was beautiful. He seemed to shine white as the lotion
gleamed on his perfect skin. I covered his face and neck with it, and then
went down to his shoulders. He turned on to his belly, and I did his
back. I stopped at the waistband of his shorts. There was no need to go any
farther. He turned on his back again, and placed his head against my sex as
he lay down. A shiver went through me, and I looked down at him. My eyes
went to his shorts, and I saw a big tent. My hands went to his shoulder
blades, and I started covering his chest. His well defined features really
turned me on. My hands caressed his nipples, and I gently made my way down
to his stomach. He was stretched out on me, and his belly was taut. I could
clearly see his pectoral muscles as I poured more lotion on him. I gently
covered him with it, and my hands worked trying to cover every inch of his
white beautiful skin. Heaven forbid it get sun burned. When I was done, I
didn't say it to him. I just kept working my hands gently across his rib
cages. Feeling his every rib, and feeling the smoothness of his warm
skin. I felt him let out a gentle sigh. I looked down, and saw that his
eyes were closed. My hand traced lines across his marble chest, and I
gently touched him going slowly down. My hand came to massage his abdomen,
and he moaned. I smiled knowing that he was pleased with this.

"Blade?" he said with a teasing grin. "You've got a boner."

"Yeah? I'm not the only one." I said reaching down and squeezing his sex.

"So? Your hands feel good on my tummy. What about it?" he asked softly.

I pulled away, feeling guilty for arousing him. He tensed in my
lap. "Blade, no. Please. Don't stop. You feel nice." he said
softly. "Please, Blade." he pleaded. "I want this. You feel good."

"Whatever you say, Jay-Boy." I said softly.

I smiled at him. With one hand, I stroked his beautiful white face. With
the other, I gently stroked his chest. I made lines with my fingers,
tracing along his rib cages. My eyes feasted on the delicate look of his
body. I could see every single individual rib outlined clearly. I looked
down at him, and saw that his eyes were closed. He let out a sigh, and
smiled. I felt him completely relax, before he finally fell asleep. The
blazing sun hit his skin so beautifully, it magnified his angelic features
in my eyes. I leaned down, and gently kissed him. I felt anguished that I
had to kiss him while he was sleeping. I pulled away, and smiled.

"Hey, Blade!" There was a whisper from behind me. I turned around, and saw
the standing beside me. "Wake your brother's ass up, so we can steer." Sam
said grinning at me.

"No fuckin' way, man. I'm not movin'!" I whispered back. "Wait until a wave
soaks me. Go play with Tony, scrub the deck, I don't know. Just let me have
this time to myself.."

"Fine. Let me just make sure that we're still going the right way."

Jason didn't awake that whole day. The God of the sea must've been happy
that I was finally paying attention to my baby brother. Because the waves
didn't come over the side of the boat. Jason's skin soon became warm, and
beautiful, protected by the high quality sun block. I forgot all about my
physical needs as I sat there with my little brother in my arms, snoring
gently. I didn't feel the need to eat, or do anything. I just stared at
him. Every once in a while, I found myself touching him gently, and
reaching down to stroke that beautiful face. I was aroused by the feeling
of his body as his rib cages expanded and contracted as he took each
breath. Every once in a while, I'd press my ear to his mouth, and listen to
his breathing. Or my hand to his smooth marble chest and feel the beat of
his fragile heart. The question that he'd asked me earlier on our trip came
back to me. I could never hate my Jason. No one could. As the sun started
to set, I felt him jerk in my grip. I looked down, and saw his eyes
open. He looked up at me, and gave me a smile. It held a secret in it,
somehow. He was hiding something from me.

"You all right, Jase?" I asked in a whisper. I didn't want to ruin the
moment. It was perfect, and silent.

"I'm really warm." he said smiling. "Too bad we'll get cold if we stay
here. I don't wanna move." he said snuggling up to me.

"So, don't." I whispered. It was loud enough for him to hear me, but barely
above a whisper.

"I think we should. We both need food." he said smiling.

He sat up, and scooted up to me. His arms wrapped around my waist, and I
smiled as he leaned against me. I kissed him, and he kissed me back.

"I've gotta show you something." he whispered. "It's something I hope you
enjoy."

We both got up, and walked down to the galley. Sam and Tony were sitting at
the table, playing a game of cards.

"Burgers. Want some? There over there." Sam said pointing to a spot on the
counter. "Everything you need is set up. We already ate."

"Got any sixes?" Tony asked concentrated.

Jason and I took a little over twenty minutes to eat our food. It was
really good. Tony and Sam were very good cooks. Cheese burgers with a side
of crinkle cut fries, and a slice of pie, or a serving of cherry cobbler.

"Dibs on the cobbler for breakfast tomorrow." Tony and Sam said at once.

"Dibs!" Jason and I said quickly.

We all made our way back up to the deck. It was already dark, but the stars
were visible, and so was the full lit moon. It seemed Jason and I had
escaped just in time, because the cockpit and the deck were soaked with
water. I'm glad I moved.

                   **

Blade and I stood beside Tony and Sam, and as they gazed at the
stars. Blade wrapped an arm around my waist. I noticed that he was doing it
possessively, and that really made me feel protected. Whatever the feelings
between Blade and I, it was obvious that both of us were wound so tightly
around each other, and nothing could mess that up. It didn't matter how
many fights we got into. Beside me, Tony and gently stroking his twin's
slender body. I saw them both gaze up at the moon, then they both smiled at
each other. Without a word, they both turned, waved at us, and left the
deck. I took a towel, and wiped down the cockpit bench, and sat down. Blade
came and sat with me. I pulled him into my grip, this time, and he laid
himself down across me. The memory of this afternoon came over me, and I
smiled. The feeling of being cradled in his strong arms made me feel at
peace, and warm.

Without warning, my left hand went straight for his bulge. I gently started
to stroke him through his Speedos, and he became half hard. He smiled as he
pressed his head against my groin. My hands traced lines through him, as
he'd done to me, and I was astounded by the reddish brown of his skin. It
looked amazing. He looked perfect, and almost god-like in my arms. My hands
traced through his chest, and down to his taut belly. He sighed softly, and
I looked down. There was a pleading look in his eyes, and I knew that there
were conflicting feelings inside him. He was struggling with himself. He
wanted to let me have this chance, yet, what if he did pass away? What
would happen to me? I on the other hand, didn't give a damn. Blade was
mine. Blade was my brother, and whether it was wrong or right, I loved
him. If our kind of love was to be condemned, and sinful, then, I sure as
hell hoped Satan made room.

We both gazed at the stars as I gently ran my fingers across his torso. He
was smiling up at me with a look in his eyes that seemed to be questioning.

"I swear the sky is putting spells on me." he said softly. "Don't you feel
like you can do anything right now?" he asked simply. "It's the most
beautiful part of the night."

"Yep. I feel like I can do just about anything. Why do you think I'm doing
this?" I asked as my left hand went back to stroke him through his Speedos.

"Jason, just take my Speedos off!" he pleaded as he gently rocked his hips
against my hand.

"There's a boat moored right next to ours." I said softly. "We've gotta
go."

I would've gladly undressed my brother right away. I wanted to see that
handsome body just as he'd been born. But the boat anchored right beside us
made it impossible. Blade was restless in my arms.

"Jason, Jason, we've gotta get out of here. Please! I need--" he stopped.

We both stood up, and walked quickly to our cabin. Once we were in the
privacy of our cabin, I searched for what I knew Blade would be surprised
to see I had. Digging to the bottom of my suit case, I found a twelve inch
rod. It was plastic, with a vibrator attached to it. I gently turned it on,
to see if it would work, and it vibrated in my hands. I turned to Blade,
and saw him toss his jockeys to the floor.

"Ly down, Blade." I said softly.

I walked over to him, still clothed from the waist down, and took a jar of
Vaseline from the suit case. I covered the rod with it, and gently placed
it inside my brother.

"What in the name of MerlynŐs balls is that?" he asked as I walked over to
the lights and switched them off.

"It's for prostate stimulation. Really good. Tony showed it to me. He's got
one just like this one. Watch." I said as I pressed the little button the
size of a grain of rice on the end that I held.

"Oh my god." he moaned as it began to vibrate. "And you're going to find my
prostate, how?" he asked looking up at me in the dark.

"We'll both know." I said smiling. "I expect Little Blade'll know, too."

I began to gently thrust in and out, until I felt the rod hit something
soft, and saw Blade's cock inflate. "See? There it is." I said gently
jabbing at the same spot. This action made his cock twitch. "How do you
feel?" I asked gently tapping with a slow beat.

"It feels really good, Jase. Not to the point of arousal, but really,
really good." he said softly.

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. This ain't over, damn it." I said
smiling.

"Jason, you have a filthy mouth." he said with a slightly bitter
tone. "Watch it."

"Make me." I breathed.

"Now that I have you in a state of honest confidence, can I ask you
something?" he asked as I gently tapped on his "Million dollar point."

"Ask." I said softly. "I'll answer as honest as I can."

"A while ago, when you said--" he stopped. I saw tears flood his eyes in
the moon light. "When you almost fell overboard," he said trying to will
his tears to dry. "Why did you fight against me when I tried to catch you?"
he asked.

What I hoped he wouldn't notice, Blade did. It was one of the hardest
questions I'd ever had to answer. I was having such a miserable time on the
boat. Blade was too, and I felt like our relationship was doomed. I'd
rather be floating in the ocean, dead, than to have to stand anymore of
Blade. He had been a rude, selfish, son of a bitch, with no consideration
for how I was feeling. He'd tried to push me away, and there was no way I
could get through the wall he'd put between us. Slowly, I knew that wall
was dissolving. I felt strange as I was forced to answer that question. To
admit, that it was subconsciously suicide that I'd tried to commit a little
earlier. Wishing, almost pleading that he'd let me go over the side of the
boat.

"You promised, Jason. You said you'd answer it as honestly as you could."
Blade's voice broke into my thoughts.

"Yeah, I said that. But I had no clue what the hell you were gonna ask. I
kind of take it back." I said softly.

"Come on, Jase. Answer this one question, and you can ask me whatever you
want, afterward." he offered.

I let out a sigh. "I didn't know if I could stand you anymore. You are an
ignoramus, sometimes, Blade. You do put yourself before others. It's hard
to be with you when you push people away. My mom was right, she can't help
you, unless you want that help. Blade, I knew I couldn't go back, because
who knows how far off Tony and Sam have taken us. I'd rather be floating in
the water, than to have you constantly insulting me, because you're taking
your anger out on me. It hurts like hell."

"You know what really hurts like hell, Jason?" he asked through a
whisper. "When your perfect little brother tells you to fuck off. I don't
know why, but coming from your mouth, bad words are just that. Bad
words. They stab you. I'm sure mom and aunt Linda don't enjoy being cussed
at by you either. It really stings. There's something about you, that makes
those words hit the right spot and cause some serious pain. So, I just
thought I'd let you know."

"Well, Blade, we're even. You mess me up, and I punched back." I said
sadly. "I'm strong, you know. I'm not a weak little boy, like you picture."

"Jason, I never pictured you weak. Sure, you handle your problems and
emotions different." he added honestly. "But that's okay. You're a very
strong young man. Jason, you know how to really hurt me. I mean, when you
throw a punch, your verbal abuse hurts like hell!" he said sighing.

"Blade. Just relax." I said softly as I kept tapping out the beat on his
prostate.

I spent fifteen minutes teasing him. The vibrator drove him insane. After a
little while, I became braver, and bent down. I gently flicked my tongue
across the swollen head of his cock, and he moaned as I kept on teasing his
prostate. I smiled as I saw him harden even more. At one point, I took his
whole torpedo in my mouth, and gently sucked. He was thrusting into me as
his orgasm built up. Once he was on the edge, I stopped, and pulled my
mouth off of him.

"Oh, Jason. I need this really badly. Just let me go over the edge." he
groaned.

"Naw. All in good time, bro. All in good time." I said as I gently massaged
his spot.

"Jase? That feels real good." he moaned as I went a little
faster. "Ugh. That feels so damn good."

I kept on going. I'd been at it for a little over twenty minutes, and Blade
was still only half hard. I was impressed with him. After all, I had just
sucked him off for a while. Yet, he was still only half hard. I smiled. I
bent down, and flicked my tongue over his shaft again. He shivered, and
moaned. I gently brushed my tongue over his glans, and tried my hardest not
to go straight on, and make him shoot. I wanted this to last as long as it
could. Of course, it did. I spent a total of forty minutes teasing him. My
tongue gently flicking across the swollen head, and across the whole
glans. His eyes were full of want, and lust. he looked marvelous as the
rays of the moon hit him. Without warning, I plunged down on his now fully
hardened dick, and I started to suck. I went faster on the speed of my
tapping with one hand, and the vibrations did their job. With the other
hand, I reached over and began to stroke his perfect chest. He moaned as my
hands worked to try and achieve maximum pleasure. He was having the time of
his life.

"Jason!" he moaned as I took him completely in my mouth. His ten inch
torpedo was now at the back of my throat, and my tongue was gently licking
over his balls as they rested in my mouth. With the vibrations of the
little toy, and my throat as I hummed a tuneless song, he was going
crazy. My right hand gently caressed his chest as I continued to suck, and
tease him.

"Please, Jason. Please!" he groaned. "Oh, Jason. Please, just let me go
over." he moaned as I teased him gently. "Oh, Jason. That feels so
good. You feel, nice, pal. Oh, Jase. Oh, baby, you feel so good." he
groaned as his cock began to thrust into me. He was really hard in my
mouth, and I could feel him dripping profusely. He was about ready to shoot
his load, when I pulled away. I gently pulled the little toy out of him as
well.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked confused. "What are you doing,
Jason? I was that close." he said holding his index and thumb a millimeter
apart.

"I'm sure you were. Trust me, all in good time." I said gently.

"Yeah, but now you're gonna have to find my love button again." he said
smiling. "That's going to take a while. Look, Blade's shrinking." he said
sadly.

It was true. His cock was slowly returning back to its normal' eight inch
self. I smiled as I saw it retract into him a little due to the coolness of
the air. I gently inserted the toy again, and I kept my eye on his
dick. There was no movement as my left hand tried desperately to find his
prostate again. Sooner or later, though, I'd find it. Sure enough, I saw
his cock twitch as I hit a spot inside him. I gently tapped him again, and
he moaned. His cock quickly swelled before my eyes, and I smiled. It was
amazing to see him go through these stages. I was fascinated by his
sex. His testicles seemed to have that same russet color as the rest of
him. They were smooth, and hairless, just like the rest of his body, and
they looked marvelous to me. Where the base of his cock joined his body, a
red color began to set in and only got darker until it reached the tip of
his purple head. He looked amazing to me. I smiled as I pictured him being
fucked by me. Damn, my brother was a stud! I bent down, and took his warm
flesh into my mouth again. All at once, he became hard, and I felt his dick
flex in my mouth as I began to deep throat him.

"Fuck, Jason. That feels so good. Oh, Jason. Faster, baby, faster." he
whispered.

I began to hum as the vibrations from the toy did their job again. My
tongue gently stimulating his balls as they rested in my mouth. I looked up
at him, and our eyes met. I tried to ask him if he liked this. He seemed to
understand the look in my eyes, because he smiled.

"Go, Jason. You're amazing." he moaned. "You're so amazing. Oh, this feels
so good." he whispered as he thrust into me.

I gently slurped on his cock, as I teased him with the toy. He was having
such a great time, it made it all worthwhile in the end. Though I
desperately wanted this to go on forever, it had to come to an end. Blade
began to shake, and his arms began to jerk up. He moaned as his full body
orgasm hit him very powerfully. He groaned, and fucked my mouth at a
tremendous speed, as my left hand played gently over his prostate. He was
gasping for breath as every muscle in his body contracted, and his
sphincter gripped the sex toy like a vise. There was a gleeful look in his
face as he climaxed, and his seed shot into my throat. It was the most
amazing thing, to see Blade orgasm like that. He couldn't even speak as he
orgasmed. It was one of those things I'll never forget. He was gasping, and
I watched in amazement as his muscles contracted. His limbs flailed, and he
moaned as he tried desperately to keep his cock in my mouth. He finally
collapsed, and was completely still. "No!" he begged as I pulled off. "Let
me just go soft, before you pull away." he moaned.

I obeyed and waited for him to shrink. When his cock was limp, I gently
french kissed it before pulling away. Blade looked so sweet and helpless as
he lay on his bunk. I watched as he closed his eyes. He was grinning from
ear to ear. "Did you enjoy that, Stud?" I asked smiling.

"Yes, Jason." he said almost in a tranced state. "I did. Very much."

We both smiled at each other. I quickly turned and took off my glasses. I
stashed the sex toy in the suit case again. Blade was lying on his bunk
quiet, and resting.

"Aren't I gonna take care of you?" he asked teasingly.

I felt wonderful, actually. I didn't feel aroused. So, I guess Blade didn't
really have to take care of me. I felt fine. "No. You don't. I think you
should go to sleep, Blade. Rest. You need it, Blade."

"Where are you going?" he asked. He sounded a little hurt.

"I'm not going anywhere, Blade. I'm here." I said softly.

"Will you please, stay with me, Jason?" he begged. "Please."

"I don't think there's enough room for me on the bunk." I said smiling.

"Well," he sighed. "Jason, you and I," he looked like he was having trouble
speaking. A slight blush crept over him. "Jason, we can hold each other."
he whispered. The last part of his sentence was so quiet, that only I could
hear. "Please." he whispered. "I need you. It's been too long since I've
really held you."

I didn't answer. I just put my glasses away, and found my way back to the
bunk. The air was noticeably chilly now, and it was starting to be very
uncomfortable. I gently climbed in beside my brother, and his warm arms
circled around my waist. I felt the urgency of his embrace as he drew me to
him. His grip was tight, but it was loving, and wanting. He needed
reassurance that he was still going to be okay. I leaned over to him and
kissed him passionately. Our teeth clicked in a clumsy way as he tried to
express the love.

"You cold, tiger?" I asked softly.

"Just a little. That'll fade, Jay-Boy." he whispered. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Blade. Really." I said softly. "Let me know if you need
anything."

"Thank you." he whispered as his head fell on to the pillow. "You'll be
here when I wake up?" he asked.

"Right beside you, Blade." I said softly. "Right beside you. As long as you
want me here."

It was amazing to lay with Blade again. He was right. I hadn't laid with
him for a while. I hadn't held him for a while, and felt the warmth of his
live flesh. He was warm, smelled delicious, and felt so nice. For me, the
sex was just a bonus to our relationship. Just knowing that he loved me,
and I loved him was enough to make things feel amazing. Just being with
him, and doing the simplest things, like walking, or sitting together, or
even just talking on the phone with him was wonderful. I loved listening to
him breathe, as I lay holding him.

                   **

When I awoke the next day, the boat was already heeling. Jason's arms were
wrapped strongly around my shoulders. I didn't want to open my eyes. I
didn't want to ruin what I had gone through over the last twelve hours. It
might just be a dream. I finally opened my eyes, and saw Jason's gentle
face staring straight at me. He smiled. He knew I was awake. His arms
gently flexed around me, and he kissed my cheek softly.

"How are you?" he asked in a whispery voice.

"Fine." I said simply. I was. I was fine, safe, warm, loved. "I'm
alive. I'm alive, Jay-Boy. I'm alive, and I'm part of a glorious
universe. The greatest part of all is, that you're part of it with me." I
said softly.

Jason and I walked up to the deck after getting dressed. Tony and Sam were
nowhere to be seen. We went down to the galley and found both of them
setting out plates.

"Dude! We thought you weren't coming down!" shouted Sam wrapping Jason up
in a hug. "Lookin' good, stud." he said slapping Jason playfully across his
bottom.

I couldn't help feeling a little annoyed at him for flirting openly with my
little brother. I looked over at Tony, and saw a passive look on his face.

We all sat down, and ate peacefully. It was a really good meal, of bacon,
eggs, and pancakes. It took us a little bit over a half hour to finish
up. Jason and Sam went off to work up on the deck, while Tony and I cleaned
the Galley.

"So, you feelin' okay?" Tony asked as we wiped down the galley's surfaces.

"Yeah. I guess." I said softly. "Why?"

"Well, I heard you and Jason last night. It's okay." he said as he saw my
expression. I could feel my neck getting hotter. "It was very romantic, it
sounded."

"Things aren't so great with us anymore." I said sadly. "Not like the old
days."

"Says you." Tony said pointedly. "Jason seems to be happy."

"So does Sam. Look at him. Doesn't it annoy you, to see him flirting with
someone?" I pressed honestly.

"Like hell it does! I think he's just testing my patience. He's also
testing how strong his love for me is. Trust me, he's not going to seduce
your brother."

"I know. It's not that. Really." I said sadly.

"Blade, have you ever looked at the ancient Greek culture?" asked Tony. "I
may be from Italy, but I did a lot of reading when I first became attached
to Sam. It's not just about the sex." he said honestly. "A man and a woman,
are supposed to pair up, by nature, in order to keep our race going. But
love? Love is boundless. It's got no limits. When a man and a woman truly
love each other, they feel the love and the sex is a bonus. The woman is
able to reproduce, and the man is able to spread his sperm into the ever
growing gene pool. But when two people of the same sex love each other,
it's so much different. It's not just so you can keep a race going. Or just
for sex. It's all about loving your partner. Sam and I've been together
since he was twelve. We both grew up in a bad family. Our mother had died
while giving birth to our still born sister. Our father abused as
emotionally, and we never felt wanted with him. But there was always a
silver lining in the cloud. For me, anyway. Sam in everything to me. Sam is
everything to me. He knows that I love him endlessly, and that no matter
what, he's always going to be my other half. Tell me something. Did you
ever fear that Jason would be straight after he grew out of that phase that
boys go through?"

"No." I said truthfully. "It's funny, because ever since he was born, we
all knew he'd be gay. He just looks like someone who is." I said
sadly. "Hell, he doesn't even look like any of us."

"Did you always know you were gay?" Tony asked probing me.

"No. I only felt like this around Jason. I never felt like that anywhere
else. Or around anyone else. Tony--"

I stopped. It was different now. Jason and I both knew about my condition,
and he was free to leave. To leave whenever he needed to. That didn't mean
it wouldn't hurt me, but he was supposed to have a happy life.

"There is no shame in loving a man, Blade. In loving your brother. Whether
or not you're ill, or healthy. There is no shame in loving you. Not for
Jason. The Greeks knew how to love their boys. Really. Tell me." he
pressed. "How was it when you took his virginity? Did you feel ashamed?"

"No." I said remembering the first time I'd fucked my brother. "It was
natural."

"Yeah? How would you feel if Jason had had sex with someone when he was
about ten. Someone his age?" Tony asked pressing me.

I thought for a while, and imagined two boys screwing around. One of them,
of course, Jason, and the other one, was a little version of a ten year old
me. That switched, and Jason was being fucked by a mysterious blonde boy. I
didn't know who he was. For some reason, the love making didn't look like
that. It looked like wrestling. It didn't look bad at all. It looked like
harmless explorative play.

"So?" Tony asked breaking through my thoughts.

"Nothing. I wouldn't think anything about it. It's just two kids playing
around. You know, exploring." I said sighing.

"What if Jason was ten years old, and it was someone about sixteen?" Tony
asked. "Then what?"

I thought about how I looked when I was sixteen, and I thought about what I
would've done. If, Jason wasn't my brother. I watched in my mind's eye, as
my brother was fucked by a sixteen year old. This boy, too, was
mysterious. "They'd have to be really, really, close friends." I said
softly. "I mean, really close friends."

"And if Jason was ten, and he was loved by someone very much older? Say, a
stranger, that was just as old as you now?" he asked.

"That would be perverse." I said without hesitation. "That would be wrong,
and dirty. That faggot would be taking advantage of my little baby
brother." I said as my eyes filled with tears.

"So, what if it was you loving him? What if you were the one, at your age
right now, taking his virginity?" Tony asked pressing for more
information. "What would you think then, Blade?" he asked coming around and
wrapping an arm around my waist. I didn't pull away.

"There would have to be a lot of love there." I said in a whisper as I
became overwhelmed with tears. "I just couldn't do that to my Jason
otherwise. I couldn't hurt him." I sobbed as I trembled.

Tony pulled me to a chair, and I sank down on to it. I couldn't control the
feelings that ran through me. I felt such a pull towards Jason at this
point. I felt such love for the gentle soft boy. I was drawn to him, and it
was in a way that I still didn't understand.

"So, when you took his virginity for the first time, what did you feel?"
Tony asked softly as he sat beside me, with his arm wrapper gently around
my shaking shoulders.

"It was natural." I said softly as tears streamed down my face. "It was
amazing. I took from the world what Terry failed to take. He became
mine. He's mine in a way that no one else could be. Not as a human
property, like a slave, or something like that. But as my best friend. He's
part of me, now." I said trying to wipe away tears.

"Well, then, you have your answer. You're attached to him. You're in
love. He's always going to be a part of you, and you can't leave him. Not
because you can't physically do it, but because you can't emotionally do
it. You wouldn't handle it. Neither would he."

I sighed. A memory came back to me. It was a flash back of Jason learning
to ride a bike. I had kept my own bike from when I was a child and I'd left
it for him. Of course, I'd made sure to fix it up, and make it brand new
before I gave it to him.

"Come on, Little Dude. You've gotta come see what I got for you." I had
said smiling. "It's a really good birthday present."

"What?" he said as he put my mom's gift down. It was a six pound bag of
gummy bears. He tipped the bag towards me, and I took one. He smiled. We
both got up, and walked out to the back yard. I took him behind the shed,
and he gasped.

"Oh my gosh!" he yelped as he looked at me with his beautiful face. "This
is amazing! Did you buy it at the store?" he asked curiously. "Just like
you bought Bullet?" he asked looking his bike over.

"No, Jason. That bike used to belong to me. I know you're always getting
hand me downs, and it's very unfortunate. Because a lot of my things aren't
made for you." I said sadly. "But I thought, you might like this bike."

He looked over at me. His expression was one of utter admiration. He smiled
up at me, and I almost knelt down and kissed those beautiful red lips.

"Will you teach me to ride?" he gasped as he stroked the seat of the
bike. "Will you?"

"Just name the time and the place, Jason." I said smiling.

The whole day, to my great pleasure, and his, we'd spent teaching him how
to ride the two wheeler. It was amazing how he learned fast. I loved
watching my brother's confidence build as he rode. The only thing he was
scared of now, he told me, was breaking. He didn't know how to stop.

"Blade, I'm too scared. Hey, will you do me a favor?" he asked a week after
we'd began his riding lessons. "Will you let go this time?"

"Whenever you ask, Little Dude." I said smiling. "You just tell me when."

I felt him tense, as we moved along. I was behind him, holding un to the
handle bars, my arms encircling him protectively. I could feel him shaking
a little as he mustered his courage to ask me to let go.

"How do I stop?" he whispered. "The bike will fall when I stop."

"Do you trust me, Jason?" I asked seriously as we moved. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes. With my life." Jason had said softly. "With my whole life, Blade."

"Okay. How about, I let go, and you ride, and when you want to stop, you
let me know." I said smiling.

"Okay." he said through a gasp. "Okay. I can do this. It's just like riding
a four wheeler. All I have to do is keep my balance. What's the worst that
can happen?" he gasped. "Okay. Now!"

I gently let go of the bike, and my arms fell to my sides. Jason rode a
whole lap around the block, gasping for breath as he concentrated.

"Blade, I'm doing it." he whisper. "Blade, look at me, I can ride!" he let
out a triumphant yell as he rode on. "Blade! Dad was wrong! I can ride!" he
yelled as he sped up. "Yes!"

We rounded a corner, and he began to slow down. I saw the white creep up to
his face again. "Um, Blade?" he stammered. "Have-have-have-how do I
still-still-stop?" he gasped as he began to tremble.

I fell quickly into step beside him. "Just push the levers on the handle
bars, like I told you." I said walking along side him. "Trust me,
Jason. You'll be fine. I'll catch you."

"I don't want to get hurt." he had said softly as he rode on. "Things
always happen to me." he said softly.

"Jason, trust me. I would never hurt you intentionally. I promise. I'll be
right here to catch you. I have catlike reflexes." I added as an
afterthought.

"Just like superman?" Jason asked perking up a little. "Like those cool
super powers?"

"Yes. And you're my ever faithful side kick Little Dude. And I'd never let
anything happen to my side kick."

"Blade, that's not right." Jason said sadly as he rode on. "Sometimes,
heroes treat their sidekicks like total shit."

That had been the first time I'd ever heard my little brother cuss. It sent
a shiver down my back, and my stomach fell to the floor. "Jason! Where the
Helen of troy did you learn to talk like that?" I had asked surprised.

"Well, nowhere." he had said sadly. "Just please, help me stop."

So, once again, Jason had gathered up all the strength he had in him. He
flexed his fingers, and wrapped them around the handle bars, and the
brakes. He stopped suddenly, and the bike tipped to the right. Jason's face
whitened as he saw that he was falling. "Wait!" he yelled. It was too
late. The bike fell gently against my belly, and he gasped in shock.

"You caught me, Blade." he said smiling. "Thanks."

That day, we'd gone home for lunch, and Jason was the happiest person on
the block. He told mom and aunt Linda what had happened. He didn't really
mention it much to dad, who didn't much seem to care. After dinner, Jason
had come to sit down beside me.

"Blade?" he whispered softly. "Will you please do me a favor?"

"Anything, Little Dude." I said picking him up and cradling him in my
arms. "What's the favor?"

"Nothing. You're already doing it." he said snuggling up to me. "I feel
very bad."

"Why, Little Dude?" I asked hugging him tightly. "What happened?"

"Terry." he said sadly. "My mom told him that I'd learned to ride. Terry
said "Why should Blade waste time teaching that little filth bag how to
ride?"

"He said that I looked like a homo. Mom didn't even defend him." Jason had
explained.

I went up to the deck, and found Sam and Jason steering the boat
together. Jason had a sullen look on his face, and he looked like he'd just
finished talking to Sam about something. Maybe, it was the same subject
Tony and I had just so recently touched on.

"I think that's the only part of all my psychology classes that I actually
paid attention to." Jason was saying as I walked up behind him.

"Which part?" Tony asked walking up behind Sam and squeezing his brother's
package.

"The very beginning. Where they tell you about how Plato and Socrates were
the founders of psychology. I mean, who knew ancient Greece was that
amazing."

Jason, Sam, Tony and I had a lot of fun that day. We just mainly hung out
on deck, and talked about random subjects, that really didn't matter. Like
me, though, Jason's mind was somewhere else. I had no idea where, but I
could tell it was, because he kept on losing the conversation.

My mind, was on Jason/Josie. Today was one of those sunny days, and I could
see every muscle in Jason's body, and every rib in his rib cages. He was
really turning me on again. He was glistening slightly, because he had that
protective sun block on him. He only wore a pair of Speedos, which he'd
barrowed from me. These were mine, so they were a little bit bigger on him,
and his bulge wasn't nearly as visible as it had been when he wore his
Speedos. He looked so hot to me, that I almost pulled him straight back to
the cabin. Hell, I would've gladly made love to him right there, if it
wasn't for the fact that the boat kept heeling, and we were in broad
daylight. I would've gladly fucked his tight little ass if it wasn't for
those things.

It was around eleven thirty, when Sam and Tony decided to moor the boat for
the night. The winds were gentle, and the night air was crispy, and
cool. You could still feel the heat of the day's sun, but it wasn't nearly
as hot as it had been during the day. I watched Sam and Tony hurry away,
and I knew that they had both had the other on their minds while Jason and
I were talking with them this whole time. I heard a gasp from Jason, who
was in front of me, and I looked up.

It was a full moon, and the light the shone down on us made such a perfect
glow on my boy. He looked so beautiful standing on the deck, with his arms
folded across his chest.

"Blade?" he whispered gently.

"Jason?" I called back softly.

"Isn't that so beautiful?" he asked pointing up at the moon. "I mean, it's
just so awesome. To think how much power it has over the planet. I mean,
whoa." he gasped. "I feel like I could do anything right now."

"Jason?" I said walking up beside him. "You look handsome. No,
sorry. Beautiful." I said gently as I reached out and took hold of his
shoulder. "I'm in the mood for you." I breathed. "Mom and aunt
Linda. They'll make you angry, and your friends will sometimes screw you
over. But you will always have me." I whispered.

"Blade?" he whispered. "Love me."

I heard a faint piano somewhere. I had no idea that Sam and Tony had a boom
box. The song was familiar, and as I stood with Jason looking up at the
moon, I realized that tears were flooding his eyes. It was a song written
by Natalie Merchant. It was made the year he graduated, and I'm sure it
bought back memories of that year to hm. The song was titled, My Skin, and
the lyrics were astonishing, and sad. I listened as it started up, and my
own heart felt like it was being squeezed.

I gently wrapped an arm around my brother's waist, and led him back to our
cabin. I could hear the song perfectly from here, and I'm sure Jason could
too.

As I undressed him, I realized that Jason, my brother, was a human
being. It's not that I hadn't realized this before, but for some reason,
now, I realized it ten-fold. Jason Jameson was a human, with real
emotions. He was special, and he was different than me, in the fact that he
was acutely sensitive to everything around him. He communicated with eye
contact, physical intimacy, and body language. He looked fem*e, but it was
something I adored about him. I loved my Jason. As I laid him down on his
bunk, and my eyes met his, I saw the anger and madness reflected back at
me. I owed Jason five whole years of loneliness. I owed him everything. I
had left him without thinking about what may happen if I did. In doing so,
I had ensured that Terry could emotionally and verbally abuse him. I
realized as I undressed, that Jason had always been an inconvenience to
Terry. To him, whenever Jason was addressed in front of my mom, he had
always been, "your son." I realized, as I walked over to him, and lifted
him into my arms, that he had been hurt terribly by the events of his
life. Being as acutely sensitive as he was. The question that he'd asked
repeated in my mind as I sat down on the bunk with him in my arms. "Why do
you hate me?" As the question repeated in my mind, the sweet voice of
Natalie Merchant came floating to me from the other cabin, clear as day.

"I've been treated so wrong, I've been cheated so long. As if I'm becoming
untouchable."

I gently stroked my brother's hair as he half lay, half sat in my
arms. Silent tears were streaming down his face as he looked straight
ahead. I leaned down and gently kissed him, my lips pressing urgently and
firmly against his. He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. My poor
Jason was feeling the pain of all that had happened to him his whole
life. It was a pain that I would never understand. In trying to protect
him, I had worsened it, by trying to keep away from him when I thought my
death was so near. Jason was struggling.

"Love me." he pleaded softly.

I gently kissed him again, and this time, we both held the kiss for a long
time. I got up and laid him back down on the bunk. I quickly grabbed the
Vaseline, and lubed my cock up completely. I walked over to him, and
climbed on to the bunk beside him. I lifted his legs up to my shoulders,
and dipped a finger into the lube. I gently probed him, and pushed my
finger in towards his belly, until I felt the tip press against something
soft. I saw pure bliss on his face as I jabbed clumsily at his prostate. I
did this for five minutes, until I felt him shiver.

"Oh, fuck me!" he moaned with a wild plea. "Fuck me, now!" he demanded as
he gasped for breath.

Without a word, I positioned myself between his legs, and my cock slid
smoothly and slowly, into his tight ass. I couldn't remember how long it
had been since I'd fucked my brother. It must've been a long while, because
it felt like I was fucking him for the first time again. We both groaned as
my dick slid into him, and Jason and I were one again.

"This is wrong, Jason." I said softly as my dick took on a life of its
own. "I could go to jail for this. Or you. This is wrong. I'm your older
brother, for fuck's sake."

"But you want this, Blade." he said. There were tears still streaming
gently down his face as I lay on top of him, buried deep inside him. "You
know you want this."

I listened as Natalie continued to sing. "Sweet turning sour, and
untouchable."

"It's been a long time, beautiful." I said as we kissed passionately. "A
very long time. I missed you."

"I missed you, more." he said through a gentle moan as his eyes
streamed. "It has been a long time, Blade."

"You know what the first thing I thought of was, when I first fucked you?"
I asked as the rhythm started up between us. "I wondered where you'd been
all my life. Jason, you're an awesome cocksucker." I said smiling. "You are
really, really good in bed." I confessed as he kissed me. "And you are a
very hot kisser, too."

"Thank you." he said softly. "I have no idea what to say."

It had been a long time since I've fucked him slow like this. He was full
of passion, and love. He was also full of an instinctive sexual desire,
that every animal, human or not, held within. A raw desire to sexually
pleasure your mate, and be equally pleasured. I loved the way he encouraged
me, as the song changed, and became Kiss From A Rose, by Seal.

"Oh, Blade. You feel so good. Make love to me, baby. I need you." he urged
through a frantic breath. "Blade, you feel so good. Oh, you feel marvelous,
babe." he moaned as his arms wrapped tightly around my waist.

I reached back behind his head and cradled it in my hands as I thrust in
and out of him. "Jason! You look so wonderful when the light hits you,
baby. You look delicious." I moaned as I kissed him again. "Oh,
Jason. You're such a wonderful person." I moaned as I held him
tightly. "You're so beautiful."

"Blade." he whispered as his hands reached down to cup my ass. Whenever I
thrust into him, he'd pull me in as deep as he could, and kiss me as gently
but as urgently as he could. With every stroke, there was a kiss, and with
every kiss, my cock hardened to its fullest extent. I could feel Jason's
hard cock pressing against my belly as I fucked him.

"Oh, Jason. Kiss me, baby. Kiss me." I whispered into his ear. "Aw,
Jason. You're so wonderful. I love you so much." I moaned as I kissed him
again.

"Go deeper, Blade. Fuck me deeper!" he begged as I went faster. "That's it,
Stallion. Fuck me!" he urged as I increased my speed. "Yeah." he moaned as
I hit his prostate. "Oh, God, Blade. You're driving me insane! Fuck me!" he
moaned. "Give me your sweet torpedo!" he demanded as he rocked his sexy
hips up to meet my strokes.

"Oh, God!" I moaned as my dick hardened even more. "I'm going to make this
last as long as I can, Jay-Boy!" I moaned. "I'm here for you, and only
you!" I moaned. "I love you so much, Jay-Boy! You're so beautiful."

I kept on giving him as much pleasure as I could. My cock slowly and
urgently plowed into him, every once in a while picking up speed, and after
bringing us both to the edge, slowing down a little more. I made love to
Jason that night for about two whole hours. Tony and Sam's boom box playing
random songs that all seemed to fit the mood very perfectly. Every once in
a while, I'd look down and see my steel hard cock sliding in and out of his
hot albino ass. That sight really turned me on. Along with Jason's pleas
for me to fuck him, which became louder and more insistent as he approached
orgasm.

"Oh, Blade! Fuck me! Yeah, baby! Fuck me, Stallion! Oh, god, Blade! I'm
gon' cum!" he moaned as his cock hardened between our bellies. "Fuck me
faster, Blade! Fuck me faster!" he yelled as his orgasm built inside
him. "Aw, shit!" he moaned as he exploded. "Give it to me, Blade! Oh, fuck!
Yeah, baby! Yeah! Deeper! Fuck yeah, right there!" he moaned as I hit his
joy button. "Right there, oh yeah, fuck!" he moaned. "I love it! Yeah,
Blade! God, this is so good! Fuck me!" he moaned as I plowed mercilessly
into him. "Fuuuuuuck meeeeee!" he moaned as he climaxed again. "Right
there, baby! Oh, yeeeeeeaaaaaah! Fuuuuuuck meeeeee!" he begged as he
came. "God, yes! Fuck! Ugh!"

I still hadn't climaxed yet, and I wasn't planning on doing it anytime
soon. I wanted Jason. I wanted him, and I wanted this to last as long as I
could make it last. He needed this badly, as much as I did. Not just for
the sex, but for the reassurance that I really loved him. He needed me to
show him, that no matter what, I'd always love him. I always would love my
little boy. Without slipping out of him, I flipped us both over, so that he
was lying on top of me now. I could feel his still hard prick between our
bellies. He grunted a little as I shifted us around. My cock was still deep
inside him, and every once in a while, I'd thrust it against his love
gland. I could feel the little shivers that I sent down his body as I
pressed up against it with my joy stick.

"You are so good, Jason." I said softly as he began to take control of the
rhythm of our fuck. It was amazing to see how his body worked, so frenzied,
and so urgently to satisfy our needs. He was thrusting and my cock slid
easily in and out of him as he rode me like a pro.

"Aw, this feels so good." I moaned as I began to experience the
pre-orgasmic stage. "Jason, you like this torpedo up your tight little
ass?" I asked seductively.

"Fuck yeah." he moaned. "Like a fat man love cake, or like a nymphomaniac
love dick." he compared with a grin. "It's a hot sexy dick, babe." he
moaned as he kissed me.

"Mmmmm. Blade," he groaned. "This feels so fucking good!" he groaned. "Oh,
baby, this is so hot."

"Oh, Jason. You are so beautiful. So hot." I said softly as my arms wrapped
around his waist. "Take this fucking love rod, baby." I moaned as I thrust
upward with each push down that he gave.

"I love this." he said breathlessly. "You fuckin' me. It's so good. I
haven't had this in so long, babe." he groaned.

"That's why we're here." I replied. "Kiss me, love." I begged. "Please. I
need those sweet red lips." I said softly.

He collapsed back on top of me, and his lips touched mine. It was a
passionate deep kiss that lasted about five minutes as we lay there
enjoying the feelings we got off. Our tongues slid outside of our confined
mouths, and explored gently. Probing, and licking, and dueling with each
other as we lay there tightly joined together. Jason slowly rocked his hips
and ground his hardness against my stomach. Every once in a while, the
angle would hit just right, and his balls would push up against mine. I
would just get driven mad by the feelings.

"You're so good, baby." I moaned as we broke the kiss. "You're so good."

"Blade, I love you. I'd do anything for you." he explained as we lay there
and he began to control the pitch of our fuck once more.

"I love you, too, Jason. You're my brother, and I love you. I'd do whatever
the hell you'd ask." I said as I thrust up to meet his every stroke.

"Oh, Blade. This is so beautiful." he said sighing. "I wish we could make
love like this all night." he moaned as he began to kiss me again.

"Why can't we, Jason?" I asked softly. "Why can't we make love all night?"

"You'd get tired, I'd get tired. Not to mention the fact that soon, we'd
both be sore as hell." he muttered.

"I think we should." I whispered as I sped up my thrusting. "Jason, there's
shit we both need to figure out. I think we'd be a lot more comfortable
doing it with our pricks hard." I said smiling at him.

"Fuck, you got that right." he muttered. "Blade, I think I'm going to--"
and he exploded. He collapsed into me driving my cock deeper into him as he
rocked his hips grinding his prick into me. Jason's mouth opened, and he
let out a moan of passion, and let out at least seven spurts of hot love
juice. He came down and kissed me, and again the kiss was hot. From the
first time I've ever kissed this boy, his kisses have always been wet, and
passionate. Even though, at fourteen, he thought kissing anyone was out of
the question. I'm guessing it's because Terry and mom had never kissed him
before. I flipped us over, and this time, I didn't waste my time. I plowed
my Jason like I'd never plowed him before. He was moaning and yelling
again, calling out my name, and urging me on. I could tell, he was having
the time of his life, and so was I, for that matter.

"Go deeper, Blade! Oh, yeah! Go deeper!" he moaned as he squirmed beneath
me. "Fuck me, Blade! Fuck me! Oh, baby, go deeper! Deeper! Yes, Blade! Fuck
me deeper! Yeah!" he moaned. "Aw, right there, baby! Right there!"

"You're going to swallow my cock and leave me with nothing!" I moaned as I
thrust into him as deep as I could go. "You're going to wear me out, stud!"
I moaned.

"Aaaaaaw! Fuck!" he moaned as he approached another orgasm.

This time, I couldn't hold it in. His smooth muscles in his sphincter
squeezed around my throbbing cock, and I exploded with a yell. I moaned and
cried out as my love flowed into him. My tongue frantically searching for
his, and my lips begging for his.

"Mmmmmm!" Both of us were moaning as we came together, my hardness deep
inside him, and my tongue deep in his mouth. He felt warm, slick with cum,
and wonderful. It was the greatest time of my whole entire life. Loving
Jason was amazing. Better than any girl I could ever love.

"Oh, Jase! You were wonderful." I moaned as I pulled out of him. "You were
amazing." I complimented softly. "You are so beautiful."

"Blade. Don't say a word. Just hold me, and let me hold you." he whispered
as we both reached for each other.

His arms wound around my waist, and mine around his shoulders. His nipples
pressed hard against mine, and our cocks kissed as I wound my legs around
him. I began to slowly stroke his hair, and he snuggled up to me, urging me
to love him with all the love I had inside me. But even that wasn't enough
for my Jason.

"Blade?" he whispered softly. "Is it really true, that I look like a girl?"
he asked as my hands gently touched his hair.

"With all due respect," I said smiling. "Yes. You do. But it's amazing." I
added hastily as I saw his expression. He looked sort of put off by
it. "Jason, you don't know how special you are, though. You look beautiful
in a girlish sort of way, but you look strong in a male sort of way. It's
like, you're the best of both worlds. You can't help who you are." I added
looking straight into his face.

"So, you ain't turned off by it, then?" he asked softly.

"Naw. Hell, it turns me on so badly sometimes, all I wanna do is fuck the
lights out of you. Even then, though. I bet you'd still shine." I said
smiling. "And Jason," I added as an afterthought. "I could _never hate
you. You're my baby. Literally. The best part of me, is you." I said as I
kissed him again. "I'm glad I can reach out and feel you when I wake up in
the morning. Or when I have a really bad nightmare. I can reach out and
touch you, and hold you, just like I am now." I said softly. "That's
amazing."

"I love you, too, Blade." he whispered. "You taught me how to be a man."

"What I wanna know, is who taught you how to fuck." I moaned as I licked
his lips. "You're so good, Jason. I wanna know how you learned to suck
cock, kiss, and fuck." I moaned as I became hard again.

"I swear I was a girl in my past life." he joked as he reached between us
and squeezed my scrotum.

"Oh, baby. You're gonna make me hard again, and we're going to be doomed."

That night, Jason had made a wish, and it had come true. Jason and I had
made love all night long. It was probably one of the longest, hottest, sex
sessions I've ever had with my brother. I could feel his passion, his
urgency, and his need to be loved and to love. It seems as if that's all
this boy was born to do. to love a fellow human he was akin to, and to be
loved by the same person likewise.

Jason and I grew from that experience. We are still together now, four
years later. It seems our love for each other has grown a lot more since
that boat trip. Every once in a while, he'll tell me about those hellish
five and a half years that he lost me to schooling. We would hook up with
Tony and Sam every now and again, when we needed to get away, and just
explore each other. It was amazing how much passion this boy had inside
him, ready to share with his lover. I'll tell you one thing. I never got
tired of fucking his tight albino ass. I never got tired of the fullness
inside me as his cock slid in and out of me whenever we had the chance.
Because it didn't just happen during the nights. We made love whenever we
had any opportunity. Jason and I just couldn't keep our hands off of each
other after that boat trip. He was one beautiful boy.