Date: Tue, 8 Jul 2014 21:25:19 -0700
From: Seth Kirkcauldy <seth-kirkcauldy@sbcglobal.net>
Subject: Brother Mine 12

Brother Mine Chapter 12
copyright 2014 Seth Kirkcauldy
seth-kirkcauldy@sbcglobal.net

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This story may not be reproduced in whole or in part
without the author's permission.  The author grants the Nifty Archive a
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This story is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to persons, living or
dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. They are a
product of the author's imagination, or used fictitiously.  This story
contains erotic situations between brothers not yet of a legal age.  If it
is illegal for you to read this, or you just think it's yucky, please leave
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Part 1: Meghan and Roderick


"Aiden dances like an epileptic giraffe," Roderick murmured, watching his
lover thrash around on the dance floor with Connor.  The boy's sharp elbows
occasionally lashed out unexpectedly and scored a hit on the other
unsuspecting dancers crowding the floor.

"Connor's not much better," Meghan replied drily, sipping her green drink
while she watched the brothers writhe around in a sweaty, ecstatic knot.

They were celebrating Connor's twentieth birthday and the boys' second year
of college.  Roderick, Meghan, and Connor had all successfully entered with
their fake IDs, but no bouncer was ready to believe that Aiden was of age.
He wore a bright neon bracelet that identified him as a minor, and Roderick
could see it as it bounced frantically through the colored lights of the
dance floor.

Roderick studied Meghan's beautiful face while she watched the brothers
dance.  He saw the fondness, the attraction, the hope, and the sad reality
that lay under it all.

"I recognize that look on your face," he told her, and her green eyes slid
off the brothers to regard him carefully.  "I see that look in the mirror
every day; I recognize it."

Her red eyebrows peaked upward in interest.  Roderick thought Meghan had
the most expressive eyebrows of anyone he had ever met.  It made him smile.

"Do tell."

"You love to see him happy," Roderick replied, his glance straying to the
dance floor for a moment.  "But you wish it was you making him that happy."

Meghan winced and took another fortifying sip of her drink.  "Is it that
obvious?"

"No, not at all.  It's like I said: I recognize it only because I see it in
the mirror every day."

They both turned back to the dance floor where Aiden and Connor were
laughing and grunting.  Their faces were so joyful that the rawness of it
twisted something in Roderick's chest.

"He never looks that happy except when he's with Aiden," Meghan said
quietly.

"He never looks that happy except when he's with both of you," Roderick
corrected, and their eyes met for a moment in silent understanding.

"Do you think they still... do stuff?  You know, in the apartment when
we're not there?  Do you think they sometimes still sleep together?"

"Nope," Roderick said confidently.  "I'm certain they don't.  Aiden tells
me everything."

"I sort of figured they did occasionally, but Connor's actually so noble, I
guess I should have known it would never happen.  How do you know Aiden
tells you all of it?"

Roderick snorted.  "Have you met him?  The boy opens his mouth and no one
has any idea what is going to come out of it, including Aiden.  He has no
secrets at all."  He rubbed his face and glanced at her from the corner of
his eye.  "Would it bother you?"

"I know the right answer to that question.  The right answer is that there
is no finite amount of love and Connor has the capacity to love both of us.
The right answer is that his love for his brother does not in any way
diminish his love for me."

"And what's the true answer rather than the right one?"

"The truth is that there's a selfish streak in me that wants him to love me
best.  I'm ready to set aside all others for him, but I know that he can't
do the same for me.  Not ever."

"Yeah, it's not the idea of sex that bothers me at all.  It's the love, if
you can believe it.  We are a selfish couple of lowlifes, Meghan.  I think
we should elope together and leave them to drive each other insane."

Meghan giggled wickedly and covered her mouth.  "It's a good plan, but I'm
in love with him."

"It's a GREAT plan, but I'm in love with his brother."

They both sighed heavily.  Roderick took a long pull from his beer and set
it down carefully.  "I wanted to ask you something."

She noted the heaviness of his tone and raised one eyebrow.

Roderick laughed fondly, took a deep breath, and plunged ahead.  "I wish
things were different than they are, that we could all have what we want.
Not any of the four of us are completely happy, yet I think we're happier
than most."

Meghan frowned thoughtfully at that, and then nodded.  "I think that's
true.  I'm very happy with Connor, and should probably spend less time
thinking about what I DON'T have with him.  It's not perfect, but I never
expected a relationship to be.  I'm actually happier than I ever thought I
could be."

"They need us.  They can't really be happy without us," Roderick continued,
biting his lip and looking a bit nervous.  "It's not like if we walked away
they would be happy just the two of them.  It doesn't work that way for
them.  Connor and Aiden both have things they need desperately that they
can only get from us, not from each other."

"I think that's true, too," Meghan said slowly, wondering where the big
jock was headed with this.

Roderick finally just decided to show all his cards.  He placed his open
palms on the tabletop with his fingers spread wide, looked down at his
hands and said carefully to his fingers, "I'm thinking about just telling
Aiden that it's okay with me if he has sex with Connor."

Meghan's intake of breath could be heard even over the music.  "Fuck."

Roderick choked on a laugh as he looked back up at her.  "You've definitely
been spending a lot of time with Connor."

She giggled and blushed prettily.  "Actually, I think I've taught him some
new words."  She stealthily wiped at a tear in one eye.  "So.  You're
looking for me to give the same permission to Connor?"

"Maybe.  I'm not completely clear on my motives here.  I'm not a real
complicated guy, but I think I'm pretty much in love with Aiden.  What I've
decided is that I want that boy out there who dances like he's having a
seizure to be as happy as he can possibly be."  He shrugged and looked at
his hands again.  "Connor is not a threat to me.  Connor needs you and
Aiden needs me.  But I think if I gave him this...  this... "

"...gift," Meghan supplied softly.

Roderick nodded and looked at her again.  "I think if I gave him this gift,
that he'd be happier than he is now.  He's missing something in his life
and I think it's that physical connection to his brother.  He can live
without it.  They both can; they've proven that.  But the only reason
they're living without it is because they think they have to in order to
have us."

The truth of that last statement was dancing right in front of her.  While
the boys had gone out to dance with the crowd, they had gravitated to each
other.  She watched their shaky hands tentatively touch trembling muscles,
eyes closed tight to protect against an intimacy that hurt.

"I don't really know if I can do that," Meghan said hesitantly, feeling
like she might burst from the multiple contradictory emotions that suddenly
filled her.

Roderick nodded in understanding.  "I wasn't sure if you could.  I get it;
I really do.  It feels like a threat, but I think if you look deeply at the
truth, there is no threat to you.  And you did say that you actually
already thought they still did stuff.  Why not just give them the
permission to do what you already thought they were doing?"

Meghan looked back out at the dance floor where Connor now held Aiden
tightly against him as they squirmed deliriously to the music.  Their eyes
were closed and the expression on Connor's face clearly said there was no
one else in the room with them at that particular moment.

"I'm just not sure I wanted this for my life, you know?  The picture in my
head of my happily ever after was not a picture of me, my husband, and his
brother."

"With all due respect," Roderick said gently, "his brother is a really
great guy."

Meghan waved that off in irritation.  "That's not the point, and you know
it."

"Yeah.  But the point is that they're not going to stop loving each other.
You already know Connor is never going to be completely yours; you said it
yourself.  THAT'S the part you have to decide about.  Can you live with
that?  I think the sex thing is a small thing compared to that.  If you can
live with it, then why not give them this happiness?  If you can't live
with it, then you probably should have broken up with him a long time ago.
You're both in love now."

"I hate feeling like a prude about this."

Roderick laughed.  "You're one of the least prudish people I've met,
Meghan.  The emotions you're feeling are completely normal."

"But they're selfish," she said, biting her lip and swiping another tear.
"Could you give me a week or so to think this through?  It's too much with
the music and the..."

"Of course.  I won't talk to Aiden about it for another week while you
think it through.  I didn't mean to drag you down tonight at his party; I
just..."

"No, I get it," Meghan interrupted, wanting to take control of the
conversation while feeling so out of control of other things.  She mentally
composed herself.  She'd cried enough over this; now she had decisions to
make.  "I know you're right about this.  I know it.  I just need some time
to think about it."

"Fair enough," Roderick said.

They turned their gazes back to the dance floor where the elbows and knees
of the Brothers Cavanaugh endangered the lives of everyone around them.
Out of the corner of his eye, Roderick watched Megan's arms twine around
her own chest, squeezing herself tightly, exactly as Connor's arms were now
wrapped around Aiden.



Part 2: Connor

Luckily the drive wasn't that far since the fucking sun was in my eyes and
the vibration in my old car was making my balls numb.  Well, alright, that
wasn't the car's fault; it was Aiden's and Meghan's.  My twentieth birthday
was just a couple days ago and Aiden gave me a birthday gift through
Meghan.  I still couldn't believe it and tingled all over.

It was just the prior evening over dinner that she let me know that Aiden
had given my birthday present to her.

"What is it?"  I had asked suspiciously.

She calmly poked at her salad and said, "A dildo that's almost exactly the
size of you."

She took a bite of salad and looked me in the eye while chewing it.

I coughed up some water I was drinking, and then managed to swallow to keep
from making a bigger mess.  I'm sure my eyes were the size of saucers as I
dabbed with a napkin and nervously asked, "Why did he do that?"

"So he could teach me to deep throat it."  She was still looking eerily
calm as she swallowed her lettuce.

"Ahhh... uh.. Geez.  I'm sorry about that.  I don't know what he was..."

"I did it."

"What?"

"I did it.  He taught me how to do it, and I did it."

It seemed to be suddenly very hot in the restaurant and I gulped some more
water.  "You did?"

"Yup."  Her eyes never left mine.  She winked.

"Oh God."

"So after dinner..."

"Oh God.  I love Aiden.  I love you."

She suddenly grinned warmly.  "I love him too."

She set her fork down and then surprised me even further.  "Do you miss sex
with him?"

I was my typical inarticulate self, hemming and hawing and sputtering.  She
allowed me to look like a fool for only a little while before she took pity
on me.

"Roderick and I have decided we want to give you both permission, if you
ever want to do that.  We wanted you to know that it wouldn't seem like
cheating to us.  You and Aiden have this special thing that doesn't really
have anything to do with you and me."  I could see her swallow nervously
and glance around a bit.  Her eyes were really bright with some tears she
was trying very hard not to shed.

I took a deep breath and stretched across the table for her hand.

"I'm falling in love with you, and this is exactly why."  I kissed her soft
hand and brushed my skin against her fingers.  She grinned shakily.

"But I'm declining your offer, Meghan."

"What?"

The weight of the angst within me was falling away already, and I was in
awe of the magnitude of the gift of choice.  As in all things, Aiden had
understood this before I did.

I shook my head.  "I'm not gay; I'm not bisexual.  I was able to give my
brother what he needed and reach him in a way others could not.  I'm not
saying it was all for him and I got nothing out of it, because that's very
far from true.  I loved my time with him.  But he's a man now.  He's as
tall as I am and his muscles are filling out fast.  When I look at him I
see a man.  What I need is a woman; a beautiful, smart, generous, deep
throating woman."

Meghan laughed as a tear overflowed one eye and she brushed at it quickly.

"But this gift you've given me..."  I threw back my head and looked at the
ceiling to gather all my thoughts.  It took a moment, and I know my jaw was
trembling when I returned my gaze to her.  "This is amazing that you would
give me this.  I didn't really know until now that I needed the choice.  I
couldn't really let him go because it hadn't been my choice to do so.
Aiden didn't give me that choice because he was doing what he thought was
best for me."  I hesitated, and then added, "And, of course, he was right."

Dinner had ended very quickly after we started leaning across the table to
kiss.  It had been quite the night to remember, and left my balls numb for
this long drive.

I glanced into my rearview mirror and saw Bo's car still following me at
quite a distance.  He thought I didn't know he was there.  I knew Aiden
wasn't in the car with Bo because he had some big exam today in his
Harmonic Analysis class; so he had probably sent Bo as his proxy set of
eyes.

Fucking brilliant Aiden.  He knows everything there is to know but can't
figure out how to put the milk back in the refrigerator.  I swear to God,
yesterday I found his dirty glass in the fridge and the full carton of milk
stuck in the top rack of the dishwasher.  And it was milk and not fucking
orange juice, I can tell you that much, because we're not allowed to drink
OJ in our apartment after the big scene in the grocery store.  Aiden had a
nuclear meltdown regarding juice about six months ago at the thought of
someone squeezing all the juice out of oranges.

"They're thick-skinned!  Self-contained!  Why can't people just leave them
alone?"  He was screaming this at me in the middle of a Kroger aisle while
I just held onto my bottle of juice and watched him come apart at the
seams.  I don't fucking understand half of the things he says, but I put
the OJ back and grabbed a carton of milk.  That earned me a warm, sniffly
smile; and I'll be damned if I ever drink OJ again in my entire life.  I'd
give up sex for that smile.  Yeah, okay, probably not, but OJ is a
no-brainer.

I can't really tell you what Harmonic Analysis is.  I tried to educate
myself so I could talk to Aiden about stuff that's important to him, but I
didn't understand a thing I read on Wikipedia.  It's math; I know that
much.  I also know there are five people in the class and the other four
are all graduate students.

I turned off the main road and let out a heavy sigh.  I'd be there in about
ten minutes; it would sure be nice if I had a plan.  Fucking brilliant
Aiden had a plan for thwarting my plan as was evidenced by Bo following me,
yet he had no idea I didn't even have a plan.  I felt like such a fuck-up
sometimes, and that made me laugh.  I wasn't really sure what Meghan and
Aiden saw in me, but I sure wished I could be whatever it was.

I glanced in the mirror and saw my bloodshot eyes that clearly told the
story of sleepless nights.  Prior to my dinner discussion with Meghan, I
had spent a lot of sleepless nights awake next to her, stroking her long,
red hair and pretending she was someone else.  I'm not proud of that; not
at all.  Meghan had always been fucking great and deserved better than a
fool wallowing in self-pity.  Do you know that I once asked her (quite
shyly) if she'd be willing to lick my ass?  I woke up the next morning on
my stomach; wrists and ankles tied to the bedposts, and I was rimmed for
two hours straight.  This is the woman my brother found for me.  I loved
her desperately and was so grateful she'd given me the choice that allowed
me to let Aiden go.  And in letting him go, I knew that he had what he
needed in Roderick.  I'd overheard a conversation of theirs the prior week
that convinced me that Roderick was in for the long haul.

"I know you don't understand it," Aiden had said to Roderick while my ear
was pressed up against the warm wood of the door.  "But it's not just
selfishness with him.  It's complicated.  He's straight, for one thing, so
he just isn't turned on by reciprocation to a guy.  But the other, more
important thing is that he used me because I needed it.  Not just because
he wanted it, but because I needed it.  He did it for me, Roderick."

"You say that in past tense to make me feel better.  But you still need it,
don't you?"

"Yes..." Aiden whispered.  "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to ever apologize to me for the truth, Aiden.  I wouldn't
have asked if I didn't want to know the answer.  I've known you loved him
and needed him more than me.  I've known since the day you sent my ass into
the river with your backpack.  I knew that loving you was going to be a
long, hard road.  I also knew I'd take the journey.  I can be dominating
and use you like he did, but just not all the time.  I'm not sure I'm built
like that."

"You're built just fine," Aiden growled, and I heard Roderick's sharp
intake of breath and then a chuckle.  I moved away from the door at that
point; I couldn't usually listen to them fuck more than once.  I'd like to
say the guilt of eavesdropping became too much to bear, but that's not it
at all.  It was the jealousy, pure and simple.  It clogged my chest and
blurred my eyes; in fact, it felt a whole lot like crying.

I slowed the car as my destination suddenly loomed on the right, and then
made the turn into Boswick Juvenile Detention Facility, a huge building
with all the charm of Dracula's castle if it had been designed by a
bureaucrat.  It was all evil purpose and beige paint, like Maleficent after
a spa day.

I got out of the car and leaned against the hood while Bo drove in and
parked beside me.  He didn't even look slightly guilty as he walked over to
join me, merely resigned.

"Good morning, Bo."

"Morning.  Do you hate how smart he is?  Fucking drives me nuts sometimes.
He told me he had a confidence level of 94% that you'd be coming here this
morning, and to give you this envelope if you did indeed succumb to the
overwhelming inevitability.  Those are his exact words, Connor, I swear to
God.  Ninety-four percent."

"Well, the thing is that Aiden and I are mutually inevitable.  I was
looking out for your car before I left the campus, and I don't need the
envelope; I know what it says.  Probably even the exact wording, but my
confidence level is probably only 72% on that."

Bo snickered and handed me the envelope anyway.  "So, what do you think it
says?"

"It basically says for me not to hurt them and he'd die if I go to prison."

Bo's face went pale and he looked up at the building.  "They get out
today?"

"They're supposed to."  I looked at my watch.  "In about ten minutes, at
noon."

"What are you planning to do?"

I bit my lip and tried to look like my plan was none of his business.
"You've delivered your envelope, Bo.  I think you should probably go back
home now.  These are not nice guys.  Aiden did not intend for you to
confront these guys."

"He didn't intend for you to confront them either.  You should probably
read that letter, Connor."

"How did he talk you into this?"

"He asked me if I minded keeping an idiot company.  Obviously, I was not
inclined to agree until he told me the idiot was... uh, well, that is... he
said that the idiot was... um..."

I smirked at him, but said gently, "You're a great friend to him, Bo.  If I
were gay I'd be all over your ass."

He glanced at me out of the sides of his eyes.  "If you were gay, you and
Aiden would never come out of your bedroom and I'd never see either one of
you again."

I ground my teeth against the sudden burning in my eyes.  "You may be right
about that," I allowed.

We stood there in silence for a while until the front door to Boswick
opened and a young man came out, escorted by a parole officer holding a bag
of belongings.  The younger man was blinking in the sun and looking around
the parking lot.

"I guess I thought they'd come anyway," he said to the officer grimly.

"I think they were clear about that," the man replied.  "I can drive you to
the bus station.  Since you can't stay with your family, you'll need to
check into the home I told you about."

The boy suddenly caught sight of Bo and me standing there and he walked
over to us with his parole officer following.

"My family send you to pick me up?" He asked hopefully.  "I'm Andrew."

Bo and I shook our heads, killing his last hope.  I watched it die on his
face.

"I don't think you want to go anywhere with me," I told him.  "My name is
Connor Cavanaugh."

He grimaced and looked to see if the Parole officer was still behind him.
He was.  If he thought that would keep him safe, he was sorely mistaken.

This seemed to occur to him at the same time I thought it; I caught his
resigned look as he sighed heavily and tilted his head up to the clouds.

"On that day?  That horrible, horrible day?"  Andrew started.  He was
talking to me, but he was looking up at the sky.

"Yeah?"  Bo and I said together.  I glanced at the elfin kid and he blushed
bright red.  It made me grin at him and he blushed brighter.

Andrew seemed to remember we were there, then, and he returned his gaze to
me.  "He said that you would come to kill me."  Bo and the parole officer
stiffened.

I looked into Andrew's clear, blue eyes and swallowed hard.  Aiden knew
even then the violence of which I was capable.

"He told me..."  Andrew swallowed, too, like I just had.  "He told me to
tell you to just beat the shit out of me."

The surprise of this made me laugh out loud.  "What?"

Andrew smiled in spite of himself.  He knew how stupid it sounded.  "He
said you would want to kill me, but that I should tell you that I didn't
actually hurt him and I don't deserve to die.  But, I didn't protect him
either, and you should beat the shit out of me for that."

"Ah, God..." I said, and tears were burning my eyes.  "Oh, fuck.  Aiden."
I was shaking my head and finding it hard to breathe.

"He was so brave," Andrew whispered.  His own eyes were closed and tears
leaked out the corners and down his cheeks.  "We did the most horrible
things to him... he was tortured.  But he was so brave.  I've never seen
anything like it in my whole life.  I would have been so scared if I was
him.  But he just...  he just kept telling us that Connor was going to come
get him and that Connor was going to kill all of us so we best just let him
go."

My knees wouldn't keep me up any more and I was leaning all my weight back
on the car so that I didn't fall to the ground.

"And you did," Andrew said suddenly in surprise, unintentionally
emphasizing with a look around the parking lot that Aiden had something
that Andrew did not.  "You DID come for him.  He was so sure, and then you
were there.  He's the most amazing boy I think I ever met."

"He's a man now," I rasped.  "He's a good man.  A great man."

"I imagine he is.  I'm not sure if you remember, but you talked to me on
the phone that day.  Trevor had called me and you took the phone away from
him and said you were coming to get me next.  Did you come here to kill
me?"

"I don't know why I came here," I said.  "Honestly it was mostly another
kid I was here for.  I dunno if I was actually planning to hurt him, but I
mean to make sure he stays the fuck away from Aiden."

"I don't think you need to worry about that.  Trevor killed a kid in
Juvie."

"What?" Bo gasped as I wiped my face with the back of my hand, hoping they
didn't notice.  The thought that Trevor had done to someone else what he
intended for Aiden had left me breathless.

"There's something wrong with Trevor... he just... I dunno.  He turned into
this scary kid.  Our group of friends sometimes took things too far, I
admit, but it seems Trevor started pushing over that line all the time, and
the rest of us became his targets when we didn't go along.  Anyway, he
killed this kid in Juvie and he's being tried as an adult now.  I don't
know if he'll ever get out.  The other guys that were with us were
transferred at some point.  I don't know where; we didn't actually hang out
together here."

"And you?"

"I don't mean Aiden any harm.  He's got nothing to fear from me.  If
anything, I admire him.  The truth is that I wouldn't mind being allowed to
see him so that I could apologize for that day; but I understand that might
not be anything he wants to hear from me.  So I've got a letter I wrote
with my apology if you wouldn't mind giving it to him."

I nodded, but was pretty sure he was just telling me what he thought would
get him out of this confrontation.  Bo, however, had a different view.

"You're gay," he said confidently while Andrew dug through his things and
handed me a letter.

Andrew paled and took a shaky breath.  "I dunno about that.  There're no
girls here; I see things differently now, though, that's for sure."

Andrew was looking at Bo, not me, and he asked the little guy: "Are you
gay?"

I snickered and Bo glared at me.  Then he shrugged and returned Andrew's
stare.  "So very, very gay.  I'm a Kinsey twelve."

Andrew frowned.  "I dunno what that..."

"The scale goes up to six," I told him.  "Bo is a twelve.  It means he's
trying to grow a vagina."

Bo rolled his eyes.  "Never ask a straight man to explain gay things,
Andrew.  If I had a vagina I would not be a gay man, and I'm quite happy
being gay."

"You are?" Andrew gasped, surprised.  "Why?"

Bo frowned sadly and paused for a long time, looking Andrew over.  "Oh," he
said quietly, "I'm so sorry."

With that enigmatic response he reached out and touched Andrew's chest
gently with his fingertips, and then he turned and got in his car, started
it, and drove away.  We all watched him go silently.

"C'mon Andrew," the Parole Officer said.  "We need to go."

I watched them walk away and get in the officer's car.  Bo had managed to
take all my hatred and animosity with him.  I only felt sorry for Andrew,
which pissed me off.  Fucking Aiden foiled a plan I hadn't even
constructed.

I sat behind the wheel of my car and tore open the envelope Aiden had sent
with Bo, fishing out the paper within.  I unfolded it carefully with
shaking hands.

The page was blank.  Completely blank.  I flipped it over to the other side
to find the same emptiness.

God, I loved that brilliant boy.




Part 3: Aiden

The white painted road stripes blinked with a hypnotic cadence that Aiden
found hard to ignore.  His eyes were drawn to the recurring flash of white
against black as it lulled his overactive brain into a deep quiet.  It
seemed nothing existed except for the pages of the monochromatic flip book
in the middle of the road, and in his cacophonic world, there was suddenly
an oasis of hush.

"Pay attention, Aiden.  I'll have to drive if you can't concentrate."

"I can't ever concentrate.  You might as well take the wheel right now."

Roderick looked over at the practicing driver in an open, friendly way; but
Aiden could feel heat in the gaze.  "I love you, Aiden.  I'd kind of like
us both to live so we can enjoy it.  Don't crash, please."

Aiden let out his breath, spitting small dots of saliva all over the
windshield.  "Pffffffft.  You keep saying those smoking crack words and I
just don't know what to say in response."

Roderick grinned, unperturbed.

"What are you smiling at?"

"I understand you.  I never use to understand a thing you said to me, but
I'm starting to get how your mind works.  'Smoking crack words' means you
think they're cheap, easy, and addictive.  They scare you because they feel
good and you like to hear them.  You want me to say it again, even though
you believe it might be bad for you.  You think anything that doesn't cost
you a lot is not to be trusted no matter how good it makes you feel; you
think that in the end it will be bad for you."

Aiden scowled.  "Well, yeah.  That's what I said, isn't it?"

Roderick smiled more broadly and then looked out at the passing scenery.
"Yes, that's what you said.  I love you, Aiden."

Aiden huffed again and bit down on his smile.  He tried to concentrate on
his driving so that he didn't kill Roderick.

"Have you thought about what we talked about yesterday?"

"You mean letting my brother fuck me?"

Roderick choked on his unexpected laugh, wiping his face with a huge hand.
"Yeah, that."

"Yeah, I thought about it.  In fact, I thought about it a lot before you
even told me it was okay with you."  Aiden peered sideways at his
boyfriend.

"I figured," was the calm response.

It was quiet for a long while before Roderick gently said, "You're not
talking out loud, Aiden."

Aiden's brows spiked upward in surprise, "Sorry!  I'm sorry.  I said some
really great stuff to you."

"I bet you did.  Can you repeat it out loud, please?"

"I'm not going to do it.  Fuck my brother, I mean.  I love him.  I still
think he's handsome and hot.  But I've chosen you, Roderick.  I want you."

Roderick shook his head.  "But that's the thing, Aiden, you don't have to
choose, see?  You don't get to have just one or the other.  I want you to
have everything you want.  Everything."  He was peering at Aiden with a
look Aiden had never seen before, it pulled his gaze away from the road for
a tense moment.  "I will make sure you have everything you want, Aiden.  I
won't stop trying until you do."

Aiden smiled wistfully and said, "and that's why what I most want is you,
Roderick.  Connor is not mine, not anymore.  I think you're going to find
that Connor isn't going to be interested in this plan when he hears about
it; but even if he is, it's not what I want.  I want you.  You can't
possibly think that a man as huge as you are would not be enough for me."

Roderick's mouth was hanging open with his surprise.  "But you need..."

"I need you, Roderick.  I need safety; I need love; I need a whole lot of
patience and understanding.  I need to be used roughly and then loved
gently.  I need to be loved as a man.  I need you."

"But Connor has been pining away..."

Aiden nodded.  "Connor misses what we once had, and so do I.  But I've
grown up, literally.  Connor does not want a man in his bed, and I don't
want what we had before.  You've taught me to want new things, better
things."

"But I was just so sure..."

Aiden snorted.  "Yeah, Connor always thought he was right, too.  I'm a good
cure for that."

Roderick was shaking his head in disbelief, but his smile was getting
bigger and bigger.  "You need me?"

"If this turns into a Roderick-affirmation meeting, I'm leaving."

"You're trapped in a moving car with me."  The grin was so wide it was
practically blinding.  "How much do you need me?"

Aiden gave a long sigh.  "I need you a lot.  They don't seem to sell dildos
of your size."

Roderick laughed happily and leaned over to kiss Aiden on the cheek.  He
said softly, but seriously, "I love you."

Aiden's jaw tightened with emotion and he blinked a few times and licked
his lips.  "Smoking crack words," he said.

"Where are we going anyway?" Roderick asked, leaning back into his seat.

Originally Aiden had not had a plan other than to get out and practice his
driving, but eventually noticed they were heading toward his hometown, so
that became his destination.

"I thought I'd take you to see where my mom lives and where I grew up."

"That a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Does Dr. Burke know we're doing this today?"

"No, I just thought of it a little while ago.  You think it's bad for me to
come back here and introduce you to my Mom?  We're here now, by the way, so
it's pretty much too late."

He pulled over on the shoulder of the road alongside a thick forest.  There
was nothing around them but large trunked trees.

"This is the house where you grew up?  You're Mowgli?"

Aiden merely looked at the trees in reply.  "The house is just another
block away.  I wanted to show you the forest first.  I came here a lot.
When we get back to the car I think you should drive."

They left the car and their feet tread softly upon the musty floor of
decomposing leaves, kicking up the forest's oxymoronic scent of fecund
decay.  Aiden's nose twitched with abrupt, strong remembrance.  He could
suddenly recall the hand on the back of his head, pushing his face in the
mud; the brutal kicks bruising his ribcage; the epitaphs; the hatred.  He
stumbled upon the twisted roots in his mind and Roderick caught him just
before he fell.

"Aiden?"

"I'm okay," Aiden gasped, suddenly pale and sweating.  He pulled free of
Roderick's grasp and leaned into a tree, hugging himself to it and enjoying
the sharp bite of the craggy wood against his cheek.  He huffed a quiet
laugh and whispered to the tree: "your bark is the same as your bite."

Roderick frowned.  There was still so much about this man that he did not
understand.  "You okay?"

"Never completely, but enough for now."

Roderick nodded.  He knew that was a good answer, an almost true answer.

"What happened here?"

"What didn't?" Aiden sighed.  The memories were so loud he could hardly
hear Roderick's voice above them.  "I ran here for safety, but it never
worked.  I was only ever safe...  that is... the only safe place I ever
found..."

"...was with Connor," Roderick finished softly.

Aiden nodded, the sharp bark of the tree gnawing into his cheek with a
gratifying, steadying pain.  "With Connor."

Roderick's head suddenly snapped up.

"What's that noise?" Aiden asked, head swiveling like a doe sensing danger.
"What..."

Laughter came rolling through the trees, a group of boys racing between the
trunks.  One of the boys was running ahead of the others, sliding between
the trees, insinuating himself like a snake between warm rocks.  His blonde
hair flowed behind him, glowing like a beacon.  And behind him came a pack
of boys like coon hounds after a scent, baying and laughing with such
volume that the leaves vibrated with the joy of their hunt.

Before he had thought of the action, Aiden was in motion.  His body kicked
forward into the path of the boys and he collided solidly with the leader
of the pack chasing the blonde, bringing him to the ground in a full tackle
that knocked the wind from both of them.

"What the fuck?" the boy gasped, eyes wide at the young college man that
unexpectedly lay atop him.

"You stupid bullying fucker," Aiden gasped in turn, trying to hit the young
teen across the face, but he found his fist was caught in Roderick's strong
grasp.

"You fucking rib-kicking, pig-wallowing, plunger-fucking..." Aiden's voice
was clogged with tears as he tried to punch and kick the young kid beneath
him.  But his violence was all absorbed by Roderick, who took his blows
instead.

"Aiden..." Roderick said softly.  "Aiden... come back to me, baby..."

"We're just playing tag, man!"

"Aiden, come back to me, baby."

Aiden trembled and sobbed, collapsing into Roderick's chest as the boys
watched them with wide eyes.

"God, he's a crazy fucker," one of them whispered.

"At least his boyfriend is cool," another said quietly.  "And that's a good
thing; he's built like a house."

Aiden snorted with laughter and howled his outrage into Roderick's chest.
It was just too much for his brain to handle, and in moments all was silent
and black.



He awoke in the darkness of his bedroom within the apartment he shared with
Connor.

"Roderick?" He asked with a harsh croak, and he thrashed himself upright
and looked around the moonlit room.  The silver light gleamed on the frame
of Connor's picture on his dresser and upon his brother who sat by his bed
watching him.

"He's just out in the living room talking to Meghan."  Connor said softly.
"He's been sitting here all evening waiting for you to wake up and I just
gave him a short break."

Aiden sighed and relaxed back down to his bed.  "I'd have thought by now
you would have had your fill of sitting by my bedside."

Connor nodded.  "It would be nice if you weren't such a drama queen needing
so much attention."  Aiden smiled at the jab and turned on his back to look
at the ceiling as his brother added: "But I never get tired of taking care
of you, Spaz."

Aiden contemplated this for a long while.  The silence spun around them
until he said: "I told Roderick no."

"Hmmm?"

"I told him that I didn't want to have sex with you again."

There was another long silence at this, then just a soft, "Okay, Spaz."

"What did you tell Meghan?"

"I haven't given her my answer yet," Connor lied.  He planned to never tell
Aiden that he rejected him, not unless he had to.  "Besides, it doesn't
matter now.  You've decided what you want and I'm fine with it.  I love
Meghan, Spaz.  I really do."

"She's great."

"She's a lot prettier than Roderick, I'll tell you that much."

"Roderick's cock is bigger."

"Meghan's got bigger balls though, I swear to God."

"She must if she's sticking with you."

Connor laughed, enjoying the warmth he was feeling in his chest.  Something
he had not known was broken was healing between them.  "Wanna head out
there and make them measure?"

Aiden got up from the bed, his red hair sticking out all over his head and
followed his brother to their living room where their partners waited for
them.  They both rose from the sofa as they entered the room, Roderick
dwarfing Meghan.

Without a word, both of the brothers were caught into hugs.  Aiden
practically disappeared into the embrace of the giant jock, while Connor
pulled the soft warmth of his girlfriend into his chest.

Aiden peeked around the side of his boyfriend to find Connor watching him
with a smile.  They both reached a hand toward the other, stretching.

"I love you," Meghan and Roderick murmured into their ears, practically in
unison.

"I love you, too," the brothers responded, green eyes locked on one another
and fingertips brushing as gentle as a kiss.



* This chapter concludes Brother Mine.  I appreciate hearing from people
who are reading my stories.  Shoot me an email and let me know what you
think.  Your feedback is the only way I know you're reading and whether or
not it makes sense to continue.

I have other stories, too.  Look up Seth Kirkcauldy in the author's
section.

seth-kirkcauldy@sbcglobal.net