Date: Wed, 19 May 1999 15:26:41 PDT
From: P H <philbo78@hotmail.com>
Subject: Brother to Brother

My brother was 8 years older than I.  Our father died when I was four and I, 
of course, lived with my mother.  After Walt left home, he went to college 
and then took a job in another state about six hours from my mothers home.  
When I was a senior in high school, my mother became ill and died.  I was 
devastated.  Walt came home to help make funeral arrangements and also to 
tend to me and make arrangements for me to remain in the same school so that 
I could graduate with the people I had grown up with.  After the funeral and 
what seemed like an endless line of people in our house to bring food and 
sympathy, we were finally alone.  I was still very upset and eventually went 
to bed and Walt went to bed in the guest room.  He heard me sobbing and it 
was not long before I was aware of him slipping into my bed with my back 
towards him.  My nudity was of no concern to me at that time, but his strong 
arms holding me and his words of encourgement and love in my ear brought me 
great peace.  He held me for the longest time and slowly I became aware of 
my nakedness and also his.  After a while, he said that if I was feeling 
better he would go back to his own bed.  I begged him to stay and continue 
to hold me.

He continued to hold me and gently kiss the back of my neck and head.  I was 
soon aware that I was becoming erect.  I could feel Walts erection on my 
buttocks.  I snuggled more closely to him wanting his love to totally 
encapsulate me to take away the hurt.  I took hold of one of Walts hands and 
moved it down to my groin so that he could feel my erect cock.  He gently 
stroked it and cupped my balls in his hand and as I turned my head towards 
him he kissed me on the mouth.  My tongue pushed between his lips until I 
could feel my tongue in his mouth and soon his tongue in my mouth.  For me 
this was one more step in surrendering to him so that he would protect me 
even further from the hurt I was feeling.

Soon Walt pulled away saying it was not right for him to take advantage of 
me because I was to vulnerable in the aftermath of our mothers death.  I 
begged him to stay and cupped his balls and cock in my palm trying to show 
him that I wanted and needed him.  He stayed and made love to my body; the 
first time it had been done by anyone.  His tongue and mouth tasted and 
savored every part of my body even those places I had formerly thought would 
be off-limits to all people.  As he licked, tongued and kissed me from head 
to foot the bond with my brother got stronger and stronger.  Later he told 
me the same feelings came to him.  I wanted to completely surrender to him 
and asked him to make love to me by sticking his cock into my rectum.  With 
the proper preparations, to reduce my discomfort, he did.  I have never felt 
closer to another human being.

In the morning, Walt was distant and eventually we had a long, tearful
talk ranging from our childhood to mother to our sexual experience the night 
before.  He had a strong feeling that he had used me and what had happened 
shouldn't have happened.  I tried to talk him out of that position, but he 
wasn't entirely convinced.  That day he made arrangements for me to remain 
in our town and go my own high school.

That evening we went to bed in our own beds.  I knew Walt was still feeling 
guilty about the night before.  I couldn't sleep.  Sometime in the middle of 
the night I got up and went to his bed climbing in behind him, and put my 
arms around him and began kissing his neck and head.  He was not asleep and 
turned and we took each other in our arms and went to sleep not awaking 
until morning.  When we awoke, I asked him to make love to me as he had done 
before.  He did and we both felt how glorious it was.

Later, after graduation Walt saw to it that I enrolled in a local college 
and paid for my apartment.  By this time, he told me he was gay, but he 
didn't want me to be and encouraged me to date girls. I did and eventually 
married.  That was thirty years and two children ago.  During all of this 
time, I visited my brother twice a year.  Each time I opened up my body to 
him and each time I felt more loved with him inside me and his arms around 
me than at any other time in my life.  I have known no other man; but Walt 
was special and I loved him immensly and, I'm sure, he loved me in the same 
way.  He died of cancer 6 years ago and the void he left in my life is 
beyond description.  Our love was infinite and I'm so glad to have had that 
great experience with my brother.

Phillip

P