Date: Tue, 26 Jan 2010 09:19:08 -0500
From: J K <imawriter123@gmail.com>
Subject: Funny Things Happen

Funny things happen.  Sometimes they really are funny and you can laugh
your way through them.  Other times they are funny to some but not
others. And then there are those that may be looked as being `funny' but
really aren't funny at all. On the contrary they are serious and have the
potential for disaster.

I've always liked to have fun. I've always enjoyed going to see a comedy
show, funny movies even funny plays.  Some of my friends used to call me
one of the most light-hearted, brightest personalities they knew.  Now that
was not to say that I took everything to be a joke, just more that I always
liked to see the lighter side of things, the world is and was filled with
drama, and everyone was always so consumed with it, that it really could be
almost painful.  Unfortunately in this case it was my turn to deal with the
drama.

It was in February of my senior year of high school and I had just turned
17, and a week before that I had received my acceptance letter to Stanford
University-California here I come!!  I had a fantastic party with every one
of my friends there, I got great gifts, had a great time. It truly was one
of the greatest times I had ever had.  Now, while I was the youngest person
in my grade I was going to make the assumption that I was probably one of
the very few guys left in the senior class that had yet to lose their
virginity.  Of course, at that point in time losing your virginity meant
having intercourse-that was one thing I had never done.  Getting a blowjob
absolutely, many of them-from guys and girls – all the men who swear on
their life that they are straight even if they have sucked another guys
dick.  And the girls that were keen enough to do it – which were few, I
can assure were not as good as the boys.  But I was left without ever
having intercourse with a guy or girl.

Admittedly, I was intrigued by both concepts.  Yes having intercourse with
another guy would term you gay, and a queer and a fag and whatever other
stereotype you could come up with for it and also set you up for clear and
guaranteed torture by your so-called friends.  On the other hand, fuck a
girl and you are considered a stud, and are congratulated and praised for
reaching manhood.  But being who I was, I wanted to do both.  I loved
getting sucked off by a guy, all of the jocks did it and loved having it
done, and getting sucked off by a girl, while it can be pleasing it is
nothing like a guy.  But again I wanted to have sex and finally it being my
birthday, one of the girls that I had been going out with, she was cute and
fun and sweet, and had been pushing for a while that she wanted to be the
one.  So I figured, as a present to myself I was going to lose my virginity
to this girl.  And that fateful night as I drove us away from the party to
a nice hotel room, I had a funny feeling in my stomach-I didn't know what
it was or meant, I figured it was just butterflies and my nerves so I
forgot about it and kept going.

I will truthfully say, it was a night that I will never forget.  The
lighting was right, the candles were nice, and I just let my body lead the
way.  It was passionate, enjoyable, fun and exciting-but there was one
thing it wasn't, and that was loving.  But I knew the reason behind that, I
didn't love this person, I cared for her deeply, and she was a wonderful
girl who was an angel to me, treated me wonderfully in every way, but she
never truly reached my heart.  But at the same time, she seemed to be the
right person to do this with.  And just at the moment of climax, just as I
was about to explode I opened my eyes to look down what I saw staring me in
the face was a man only for a split second, but it was a guy and then I
exploded and collapsed on top of her.  It was the most intense orgasm I had
ever experienced, never from jerking off or getting a blow job did I ever
have an orgasm of that magnitude.  But as good as it was, and as much as I
enjoyed it, I was still extremely bothered by the fact that just before it
happened I saw a guy, not a girl.

As I lay there dazed and in my own world of contemplation and bliss, I
suddenly heard my name being called and I opened my eyes, and there were
Christine' sapphire blue eyes looking into mine and she asked me "David,
are you OK? You look a little out of it."  And I thought to myself, "Out of
it?? I just lost my virginity to what I saw a man."

But I smiled at her and said "Yea Chris I'm fine, just enjoying the moment,
and thank you so much for wanting to do this with me, and being so kind and
loving you really did make it so special to me." She looked at me with
tears in her eyes, and said the 3 words that I was praying she would not.
But to no avail, they came out of her mouth

	"I love you David, I really do"

And I knew right there my fate had been sealed, I was stuck with her.
Whatever the future held going forward, I knew in my stomach and my mind,
whether or not I wanted her to be, she was now an official part of my life.
Not something that I was ready for or wanted at all.  But as I have always
said, life works in `funny' ways, you really never do know what's going to
happen, and in this case I really had absolutely no idea where my life was
headed.

As I lay thinking about what was just said to me, what could I do other
than smile? What could I do other than look back into her eyes (which were
actually one of my major attractions to her, incredible eyes and I got lost
in them every time I saw them.  So all I did was, what I felt was right and
said it back, "I love you too Christine."  I didn't mean it, I cared for
her very deeply and had much respect for her but love her, no.  But I could
not say that to her, not now, to say that now would crush her and that
would be cruel.  I said it to her, and leaned over and kissed her again.
And we both lay down, and she fell asleep in my arms while I lay there
staring at the ceiling, wondering "what the fuck do I do now?"

The following morning, it dawned on me.  I did have a very easy out to
this.  I was leaving for Stanford in 3 months, and she was going to Miami
University.  Bingo!  Problem solved.  We'll go our separate ways, it will
be hard on both of us, but we'll have to get over it and move on.  And
that's exactly what was going to happen.  I already had realized what my
real want was-and that was a man – that night was my foresight into the
future, but the one thing that worried me, were those 3 words that she said
to me, that was the one pit left in me, that I for whatever reason just
could not get past.

I played along for as long as I could, but I got to a point where I
couldn't do it anymore, I was tired of lying to her and to so many other
people I had to tell her the truth.  It was 2 months to the day, April
21sts things with school were starting to wrap up and I needed to
concentrate on getting everything together. So she and I were sitting and
having dinner together, I was ready to say goodbye, and just as I was
opening my mouth to say it, I heard her start to speak first.

	"David I need to tell you something."  (And I thought to myself oh
good she'll start the good-bye process and we'll be able to just go our
separate ways and it won't be as hard as I thought. Boy was I wrong.) And I
looked at her and said,

       "What is it?"

	"David, I'm pregnant."

I just started laughing.  I was hysterical actually. She had to be joking
with me.  It was a belated April-fools joke.  I finally stopped laughing
and looked up into her eyes expecting to see a smile and her laughing too,
but there was no smile, it was a deep serious stare.  I realized at that
point, she wasn't joking at all.

I just sat there and stared back at her, trying to let what she had just
said register in my head.  It just kept repeating over and over, "David I'm
pregnant".  At this point I was getting so dizzy I had to put my head down
on the table to try and stop it before I threw-up.  It wasn't until I felt
her shaking my shoulder that I was able to pick my head up and look back at
her.  And I asked her,

	"Are you sure? Tests and everything?"  she just slowly nodded her
head yes. And I just looked at her and said again for how long now? She
looked back at me and said,

	"We're two months in, I know that I should have told you earlier,
but I didn't know how, and I knew that our relationship was going to end at
the end of the school year anyway since you were going to California and I
was going to Miami.  And I also wanted to make absolutely sure it was
right. I went to 3 different doctors, they all confirmed it.  I'm
pregnant."

	I saw tears rolling down her face, and I just stood up and put my
arms around her, and she put hers around me, and we hung on to each other
as tightly as we could.  She whispered to me,

	"David, I'm scared, what are we going to do? I want the kid so bad,
but what are our parents going to say?"

And then I froze.  And my brain kicked into action, and I realized this was
not supposed to be possible, she claimed long before that night,that she
was on birth-control pills.  She even showed me the package, opened and
what appeared to be empty.  Something was very wrong here.  I stopped
hugging and pulled back away from her and looked into her eyes and asked
her,

	"Chris, how is that possible? You told me that you were taking the
birth-control pill."

She shifted her eyes away from me and looked down.  And then, all of the
puzzle pieces fell into place, the night of my birthday, was no `present'
it was a ploy.  She wanted a kid and I was the perfect target. I gently
took her chin and brought it back to match my eyes, and said to her,

	"I'm not going to yell or scream and I'm not going to just run off
and leave you.  That's not who I am.  But I do want you to tell me the
truth-about everything."

She just looked at me and then hung her head and started to talk.

	"David, I've always wanted a child, for as long as I can remember,
and I know that we're only 17, well 18 for me. But I've always wanted one,
from the time I was baby-sitting.  I couldn't find anyone else who I
thought that I could fall in love with and get married to AND have a kid
with.  And then, when we met I instantly knew it had to be you, and it all
made sense, you were the one.  Kind, loving, caring-someone who would be a
wonderful father."

I just stood there speechless, listening to all of this, realizing how dumb
I was, I had been played and so easily, and I never saw it coming.  She
continued on,

	"I know that I shouldn't have done it this way, and that I should
have told you that, that's what I wanted, but I knew you loved me, and I
knew that you would say and do what you did, that you wouldn't be angry,
and you wouldn't yell and you wouldn't run away.  And thankfully I was
right.  David, think about it, we're going to get married, and have a child
together!"

I just looked at her, I had hatred, I had anger, absolute vicious anger.  I
wanted to rip her head off and throw it to the ground.  But I couldn't.
That wasn't me.  No, I did not love this person.  No I had no desire to be
married now, hell I didn't even want to be with a woman.  I was going to
take off and head to California to be who I really was, a gay man, who
wouldn't have to hide anymore.  But at this moment, all of that changed.
17 and a half years old and I had a kid on the way. So I forced a smile,
and said the only thing that could be said,

	"Yes, we are getting married and we're going to have a kid
together" She looked back at me again with those incredible eyes, eyes that
you got lost in every single time, and she pulled me in tight and hugged
and whispered `thank you'.


Comments welcome: imawriter123@gmail.com