Date: Thu, 26 Aug 2010 09:22:25 -0400 From: J K <imawriter123@gmail.com> Subject: Funny things happen Part 21 As always all comments welcome at imawriter123@gmail.com As I walked back into a very quiet and somewhat lonely apartment, I started to contemplate, what it was that I was going to do going forward. Yes I'd go back to work and life really would more or less go back to what it was before anything ever happened. Back to what it when Josh went off to college the first time, but was that really possible? I would like to be able to say yes, but if I were to be honest with myself then the answer is no. It couldn't be, just like I said to Josh before he and I did anything -- doing what we did changed everything permanently there was no going back -- at least not for me. But the real question was, was there anything that I could really do about it? All I could answer was, I don't know. Life seemed to just go on as a blur to me, Mark and I existed as a loving couple -- which in all honesty we were. I love him dearly, and every night that I go to bed and wake up in the morning I realize how lucky of a man that I am to have him. For all of the things he's done for me, for Josh for everyone. There wasn't a thing he wouldn't do for me. And I know for sure that I would not have been able to make it through the last year without him. But on the same token, as much as I have, I'm still missing that one final piece of my life, that for what it seems, I don't think I'll ever be able to have. Without even realizing it so much time had passed that a very special occasion was coming up, actually 2 special occasions were coming up, the first Josh's graduation from Stanford in 3 weeks and the second, Mark and my 7th anniversary a week later. As I sat in my office thinking about these things and what had happened over the past 21 years really, from the time Josh was born up until now, my life has really been somewhat of a roller coaster ride, from insanity, to happiness, to happiness and insanity then back to happiness and joy, despair and then contentment and now, I don't know what I could really term it. I wasn't unhappy, I wasn't insane, I certainly wasn't in despair. Truthfully I was a very lucky man and a lot better off than most. I don't consider myself as pompous but hell I was rich, I had a wonderful loving husband, a wonderful son both of whom I loved dearly, and everything else money could buy. I've traveled everywhere I've wanted to. Bought what I wanted, given away what I've wanted to, I really should be the happiest man on earth. But I was also selfish because I still wanted more. I wanted to be with the person that I was supposed to be with. The man that held my heart and soul, I would trade everything else just for that. But if I thought about it, I've never fought or really asked for it. I've stated it, everyone -- well at least the people that needed to know, knew how I felt. One who claimed he was perfectly fine with it, and the other, who knows and is good with it, who I've told how I feel but have said to more or less forget about it. There had been many discussions over what Josh planned on doing after he graduated, and he had said that he was going to move back down to San Diego for a year or 2 to intern at a law firm to make sure that it was law that he really wanted to go into. And I finally realized that this was my opportunity, I was tired of denying myself or trying to get what I truly wanted. Granted, I knew that I may not get what I want, but I was no longer going to sit back and just wonder about it. While lying in bed the night before we were supposed to fly up to Stanford for Josh's graduation ceremonies, I turned to Mark and said, "Sweetie, I need to tell you something, and please, please don't be mad at me." He looked at me strangely and said "OK" "Mark, I love you more than you could ever imagine, you have been my life, my blood and my savior. I could not have survived or lived the past years without you. And my love for you will never change or diminish. But, I need to do something, if I don't, I don't think I'll forgive myself." He just looked at me, smiled and said, "So you are finally going to ask Josh to be `yours'?" I hated the fact that he knew me so well, but I just nodded and said, "I have no idea what the outcome of it will be. It may be fruitless and a waste of time, but if I don't do it now, I don't think I'll ever have another true opportunity. And well I just have to." He again, just looked at me with a smile and leaned over, kissed me, and said, "I know babe, and I hope that the outcome of it, is what you are looking for. If it is, then he's all yours and you are all his, and I will let the two of you be -- no I won't just disappear, I will always be here for you. I still consider you family and Josh as my son. And I want nothing more than for you both to be happy. And if it's not the answer you want, then I'm still here for you. You're right it's a crazy and bizarre situation, but remember I knew it all from the get-go. So don't worry about it. The only advice I have for you is wait till we get home to do it, outside of all the excitement. OK?" I had tears in my eyes and my stomach was in turmoil, because truthfully, I didn't deserve to even be in the presence of the man laying next to me, let alone `married' to him. I just leaned over and gently kissed him, but before I even had the chance to sit back he took both sides of my face in his hands and kissed me passionately and just like the first time we made love 7 years ago he slipped down to the end of the bed threw the covers off of the bed, locked eyes with me and with one swift move he shoved his cock up my ass. I screamed out loud, even after all these years, and being fucked by him more times than I could count, it was like that first time - it hurt, hurt to the point of torture. But that's what I wanted and needed tonight, and he knew it too. I don't think I had felt anything as painful as this in my entire life. He held it there for a bit, and then began is assault on my ass. As he pulled in and out, I was moaning and groaning in pain and in pleasure. It had been a long time since we had fucked like this, but just like the first time after a while it started to feel damned good. Before I realized it, I wasn't screaming from pain, I was begging for it harder and harder. And for every time I begged, he doubled his efforts. It was an incredible fuck, I don't know how many orgasms I had that night, I lost count after the first 3 or 4, and I'm sure I had plenty more than that, dry ones, because I didn't have any cum left in me, until Mark finally collapsed on top of me. The sweat dripping off of him and mixing with my own was just incredible. I finally rolled him off of me, and moved further up on the bed. He looked up at me, with a questioning look on his face, and I just said, "Come on, get under the covers and hold on to me, I want to sleep with your arms around me." He just smiled and crawled up next to me and put his arms around me, and I could feel his hot breath against my neck, and listened to it calm and slow down as he fell asleep. I on the other hand, for one, had a burning and painful ass, and an even more painful problem. That whole time, from start to finish, I had to fight with myself and use all the will power that I had not to scream out Josh instead of Mark. Soon after we both must have just passed out from the exertion of energy, lust and desperation, and the next thing I knew my eyes slowly opened up to discover two arms tightly wrapped around me and I then suddenly remembered what happened last night as my ass and legs awoke at the same time in an odd way, and I smiled and frowned at the same time. I smiled that I was waking up with someone's arms around me, and at the same time realizing that they weren't the arms that I wanted. However, it was what I knew as, maybe that was the last time I would make love to this man, and a precursor to the one that I would make love to next -- the one who it would really be true love with.