Date: Mon, 1 Feb 2010 09:49:14 -0500
From: J K <imawriter123@gmail.com>
Subject: Funny Things Happen Part 3

Funny things happen, Pt 3
Comments welcome at imawriter123@gmail.com

But even knowing all of that, and as much as it would kill me to lose him,
I was getting so frustrated living in a life that I didn't want to, I was
afraid that my stresses were going to come out and in the wrong way.  So I
finally had made my decision that, I was going to stay here and continue my
degree, and if she didn't want to or had other plans, then it was going to
be divorce. While I wanted full custody of Josh, I figured I'd have better
luck asking for joint custody-and hopefully there wouldn't be any issues
with the courts or her parents-(not that they had been any bit helpful in
the past 4 years, if we ever needed anything it was always my parents.)
The night that I decided that we were going to have this conversation I was
tucking josh in just like we've done every other night for the past 4
years, and as I leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, he pulled me down by
my shirt and said,

       "Daddy, I have a secret to tell you"

And I looked at him strangely since he had never said anything like that,
nor did I even think that something like that could be processed at 4 years
old, but he was a brilliant boy. So I asked him what it was.  And his next
statement ripped my heart out,

	"Daddy, I love you and promise me you'll always be here."

Four years old and it was if this kid was reading my mind.  Like he knew
what I was going to do, or what was going to happen.  It took every ounce
of energy that I had not to burst out into tears right there, but I held
them back, and leaned over and kissed him again and said,

	"Josh I promise you, I'm not going anywhere I'll always be with
you."  He looked back at me with the most beautiful smile and his mother's
eyes and said "Thanks daddy! Love you!"

I nodded my head, said good night and walked out of his room shutting the
light, and went straight to my bedroom and fell to my knees and burst out
crying. Once again just like they had 4 years ago my plans were altered
again.  How could I even think to take the chance of losing this child? I
just couldn't. I loved that child so much, he really was my life -- not
one other thing mattered but him.  I promised myself that I was going to be
the best father that I possibly could to him.  And I was going to hold true
to that, whether I was miserable or not, that didn't matter, he was my
number 1 priority and that was it.  I was just going to have to deal with
my marriage and whatever came along with it, and if that means following
Christine wherever she goes, then so be it.

After composing myself, and wiping my eyes dry, I walked down the hallway
to the kitchen where Christine was cleaning up the kitchen after dinner and
without even looking at her I sat down at the table and said,

	"Chris we need to talk."

She turned and, and looked at me really with a face of indifference, which
quite honestly did not bother me in the least because I more or less felt
the exact same way, if not less than that, and said,

	"Yea I know, it's time to figure out where it is we go from here."
And I just nodded my head.

She stared at me, and I stared back, we were both waiting for the other to
speak first and I finally decided that I was going to say what I had to and
just get this over with already.

	"Chris, look I know, that you didn't get into Perdue for your
master's program and I did, and I really want to stay here and do it.  And
I want to ask you to stay here too, even if you have to go to a community
college just for the first year and then apply for Perdue again.  And I
know it's selfish to ask that of you, but you know how I feel that this
family should be and that Josh should have both his parents together."  I
really had no idea what her response to that was going to be, could be
anything but I said what I had to.  She just looked at me and responded,

	"Well David, somehow I am certainly not surprised by that request,
and like you I already have my own proposed plan of action, and I'm going
to make the same request to you, however it involves leaving Indiana.  I
applied to Miami again, and was accepted, and that's where I intend to go
to.  And yes I know your next question, what about Josh?  Well, we've got 2
choices, either you and he come with me, or we go to court get the divorce
and see who wins. Your choice."

She really was a vindictive bitch, I never realized how much until today.
And if I even thought for a second that she was joking I'd call her on it.
But I knew she wasn't.  I was once again a pawn and caught in this again.
She knew that I would do anything for Josh, and I would, without question.
It was never discussed between she and I, just an unspoken but the
knowledge was there.  But regardless, once again the fate was sealed, we
were staying married and going to Miami.

I looked directly back at her, I could see the little smile on her face,
she already knew she had won, she knew she would before the discussion
began, and truthfully I knew it too.  I had promised that boy that I would
never leave him, and I was going to hold true to that promise, no matter
how miserable I was.  I finally said to her,

	"Fine, you win, we'll go to Miami, and I guess I'll get in there
too and just work it out from there."  What else could I say?  After
sitting there in silence, I just got up, told her I was going for a walk
and would be back later.

I walked out the front door and just stood in the open air, and started to
cry once again.  This woman completely ruled my life and all because I was
fucking horny and wanted to lose my virginity on my birthday.  But none of
that mattered at this point, that was over and done with almost 5 years
already. I just walked forward away from the complex that we were living
in, down the street and just walked in circles around block after block,
saying what do I do, what do I do, and yet that was a stupid question
because it had already been answered.  I had a vicious woman that ruled one
part of my life, and a beautiful boy who I loved more than myself that
ruled the other part, and thinking of him made smile, as it did every other
time.  And I realized once again, that I did not matter, he deserved every
part of a real family, a father, mother, safe home, and everything else
that came along with it.  I finally just turned around and walked back
home.

For what seemed to be like the blink of an eye, Christine and I both
graduated from Perdue and were preparing for our move down to Miami.  It
really wasn't hard to pick everything up to move, actually come to think of
it, Josh had more stuff than either of us did.  Really at this point the
hardest thing for the three of us, was having to say good bye to our
parents, and josh was leaving with no grandparents, and also his
babysitters -- which was going to be a problem for us, but we'd figure it
out somehow.  We finally got ourselves all set up down there, I will admit
one good thing about being down here, the weather was a hell of a lot more
comfortable all year round!

As time passed, Josh was growing up faster and faster, watching my son go
from a beautiful baby boy, to a handsome boy.  Before I knew it, he was
already 10 years old, it was unbelievable six years had already gone by
since we moved down here.  Hell, somehow Christine and I had been married
10 years already, I just could not believe it.  Granted I don't really know
if you could call it a marriage, more like a friendship that happened to be
closer than most, we lived and slept in the same place and bed, talked and
interacted like good very caring friends but that was it.  It never went
any further than that.  I was sleeping with other men on a regular basis
and I'm sure that she was too.  But was important for Josh was that we stay
together.

However, it was once again October 19th, it was josh's 15th birthday.  By
this point he was a beautiful young man. Smart, witty, with a smile and
eyes that could melt you in seconds.  Before, going out to party with his
friends, we sat around the dinner table waiting for Josh to blow out his
candles, just like he had done for the past 15 years, and as he was making
his wishes, I too was staring right at him and making my own wishes for him
as he was looking down at his cake, and for a second he looked up at me
connected with my eyes and then smiled and blew out his candles. He hugged
his mother and said thanks and then came over to me hugged me and kissed me
on the cheek just like had every single year for his entire life (I had
always wondered when that was going to stop, I mean he was a teenager
already, I know I certainly wasn't kissing my father at this point) and
whispered in my ear,

	"I love you dad, I always have and I always will, no matter what.
Just remember that."