Date: Tue, 22 Jan 2013 16:58:17 -0500 (EST)
From: K.E.M. <kem0805@aol.com>
Subject: John and JJ Pt. 1 (REVISED)

*Revised this slightly from the first post*
-----------------

For the past five years, my Dad and I have been on our own. When my Mom
died in a car accident when I was thirteen she seemed to take all the great
things about our family with her. I remember the fun my Dad and I used to
have together. We were always talking, laughing, and going to baseball
games together. It's because of him that got into the sport. He cherished
it so much and I wanted to excel at something he loved. I wanted to make
him proud. These last couple of seasons it seems I've just used playing to
get my mind off things at home. And now that my last was over all I had
left to do was concentrate on graduating.

I may be John senior's name sake but I'm pretty much a male version of my
Mom. She's Cuban but had been in the US since she was a baby. I inherited
her darker skin tone, jet black wavy hair and full lips. Hell I even got
her perfect teeth. My Dad gave me his eyes though. Deep ocean blue. I guess
I'm okay looking. I mean I never really gave it much thought until my
friends would tell me how many girls, and even guys, kept staring at
me. `It's the eyes dude...you're like a magnet', they'd say.

I'm pretty much built like my Dad. We're the exact same height at six
two. When I was a kid I used to tell him all the time how I'd pass him
up. Secretly I'm still hoping. We're both in great shape. Me from sports
and I suppose being 18 doesn't hurt. And my dad has just always been
active. He doesn't do all the outdoor stuff he used but he still hits the
gym on a regular. Maybe he uses his gym time to get away from home too. He
doesn't seem to want to be there any more than I do. Hell it's been five
years you'd think he'd be mended by now.

I watched my Dad go from this incredibly strong man to just a shell of the
person I've always looked up to. I knew he'd been in so much pain living
without Mom. I missed her too but somehow the support I got from our family
and my friends helped me a lot. My Dad just kept fading. He put on enough
of a front with others so they wouldn't coddle him. But when everyone else
was gone, so was he.

That's why I did everything I could to be the best son I could be. I wanted
to make him happy. To help him get through the grief. I took care of the
house, kept my grades up and stayed out of trouble. I didn't even date
seriously. I only hooked up with enough girls to appease my dick. I didn't
need the drama. I had too much going on at home. Things were so tense with
us. Dad barely spoke to me as it was. And when he did he sounded like he
was annoyed at everything I did. You'd think I would make me hate the man
after all these years. But like I said, I knew he was in pain. I figured
eventually he would come around. I couldn't help but love him more. I knew
the man I used to know was in there...somewhere.

"Yo JJ where you at man?" my friend Mark said, knocking me out of my
thoughts. I hadn't even realized class was over.

"Sorry man, I just zoned out for a bit. What's up?" I asked while packing
my books.

"Most of the seniors are going over to Sully's place. You coming?" Mark
said, following me out the door.

Our principle had given the honors seniors a surprise half day as a reward
for our good work for the year. So about fifty of the seventy-eight
graduating seniors got out by lunch time. Sully's parents were loaded so he
threw together an impromptu party at their ranch. I thought about it for
like half a second before answering, "No dude I need to head home. I got a
ton of stuff that I need to get done for my Dad."

"Why am I not surprised. You know there's more to life than things you need
to do for your Dad. You haven't even done shit social your whole senior
year. And baseball games definitely don't count," Mark said sounding a bit
pissed.

"I know. I know. I just...there's just a lot going on that you just
wouldn't understand. I need to be there for him," I said almost
shamefully. Mark and I said our good-byes in the student parking lot and I
headed for my house. I figured I'd be able to finish the yard and start on
the junk in the garage by the time my Dad got home from work.

I was really surprised when I found Dad's car in the driveway as I pulled
in. I got a little worried since I've never known him to come home this
early. I went in through the kitchen and expected to see him sitting in the
family room watching TV, but he was nowhere in sight. I put my stuff on the
table and headed upstairs to check on him.

I was about to call his name but half way up the stairs I heard grunting
noises coming from his bedroom. I thought he may be hurt at first, but then
the noises became more familiar. They were definitely sexual. Dad's got a
woman in his room? I didn't hear any other voices, so I couldn't be sure. I
tip-toed the rest of the way up the stairs, pausing at the top to make sure
he didn't hear me. His door was ajar and I gently walked up to his door
way.

I honestly don't even know why I stood there or why I peeked in. I was just
kind of trippin off the fact that my Dad was hooking up. I felt a bit like
a dick for snooping, but I had to know who was in there with him.

The way his bed was situated I could only see it through the reflection in
the large mirror on the dresser. I checked the reflection and I didn't see
myself, so I hoped I was safe from getting busted. I saw my father lying
naked on his back, alone, his hands furiously stroking his cock. I recoiled
when I realized he was just jacking off. I felt bad for spying on such a
private moment yet strangely relieved that he wasn't with some random
chick.  I turned and was about to sneak back downstairs when I could've
sworn I heard him call out my name. I froze. Am I busted? Did he hear me or
see me?

"Oh God JJ," came again in a breathless whisper. I just stood there for a
moment. Listening. More moans, more grunts. Then, "Oooh yess JJ fuck me,"
my dad bellowed.

I turned back to the door. I had to. I wanted to. I need to see what the
fuck was going on. Why was he saying this? I'm I losing it? When I looked
again at my Dad's reflection, my Dad was working a small dildo in his
ass. I had to force myself from gasping out loud by putting my palm over my
mouth. Why couldn't I stop looking?

He started working the dildo faster and harder. I think he was trying to
come...duh of course he was trying to come. "JJ, JJ, yes son, fuck me hard
son," my Dad cried out. He grabbed his cock and stroked firmly while still
working the dildo. He was moving faster. Panting. Swearing. Coming...hard.

After the last spurts exited his cock, I let out a breath I didn't realize
I was holding. I had sense enough to get out of there before his mind
became aware of his surroundings. I quickly but quietly headed back
downstairs.  I gathered my backpack and keys and opened and closed the
kitchen door a bit louder than usual.  I figured I could just pretend I
just got in and call to him so he'd know I was home.

I hadn't even realized how hard I'd gotten until I felt a pain in my
crotch. I squeezed my cock through my jeans. Wait...what the fuck? Am I
seriously sporting major steel from watching my Dad get off? My mind was
officially a fucking mess. Quickly I untucked my shirt to hide my hard-on.
"Hey Dad," I called out from the kitchen, "You in here?" I took time to
fumble with my book bag and keys, instead of going around the house looking
for him. I knew he needed time to get himself together.

I made sure to stay in the kitchen and wait for him to come down. I busied
myself by making a sandwich. When I heard him walking about upstairs I had
a sudden flash of him hurrying to clean the cum off his chest...did he
taste it? Fuck, did I really just think that?

He finally came down after nearly ten minutes. His face was still
flushed. He was so gorgeous. I couldn't help but stare at him for a
moment. "What the hell are you doing home so early?" Dad snapped. He
sounded weaker than usual.

"Principle Edwards let the honor students go home early today. There's a
party at the Sully's ranch but I thought I'd finish up with the yard and
stuff instead of hanging with them," I responded hoping he didn't detect
anything different in my voice. "What about you? You okay, Dad? I got a
little worried when I saw your car".

"I, uh, just decided to take a little time to myself that's all", he
stammered. I could still smell the sex on him when past by me to get to the
fridge. I felt my cock pulse. Fuck I was still solid as a rock.

"That's good Dad", I answered still trying hard to sound somewhat
normal. "You should take more time for yourself. You hungry? I could make
you a sandwich?" God my nerves are shot.

"Yeah, sure," he said while studying his beer a bit too closely.

I looked at him briefly, his face was flushed, and his skin was still moist
with sweat. I went ahead with making his sandwich. He stood just a couple
feet away from me. Just sipping his beer. He was so quiet. So close. My
heart was pounding so hard in my chest I just knew he could hear it. I
couldn't push the images of him getting off out of my head.

"John Jr?" Dad called. He startled me so bad I dropped the butter knife on
the floor. "Son, what's the matter? You're shaking. Come sit down?" He
ushered me quickly to a nearby bar stool. He held one hand on my chest and
the other lightly on my lower back as he guided me down to the seat. "Geez
your heart is beating a mile a minute. Are you okay?"

He was so sweet. He hasn't been like this with me in such a long time. I
didn't even realize how hard I was breathing. I looked down at his hand on
my chest and reached up to hold it. It was so warm..."I-I'm sorry Dad. My
mind was just somewhere else and you just surprised me when you called my
name. I'm fine really."

I tried to sound as cool as possible but he was right...I was trembling all
over. He moved his free hand to my forehead and cheek, checking my
temperature. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I could smell the cum
on his hand. I just inhaled that incredible scent.

"John Jr.? Son? Are you sure you're okay?" his voice almost a
whisper. "You're really starting to scare me a bit".

I opened my eyes and grinned, "Yea Dad, I'm good." We held each other's
gaze for a moment before his eyes lowered to my lips. He wanted to kiss
me...I know he did. But instead he abruptly let go of my hand and face. He
walked behind me and gave me a pat on the back. I just stayed in my seat as
I heard him walk back upstairs. My cock, still hard enough to drive nails.

^^^^^^^^^^

The next couple of weeks I think my Dad avoiding me hard core. He'd stayed
at work late most days or came in and went straight to his bedroom. I felt
like shit because I was trying to get closer to him and this whole incident
seemed to be driving us even farther apart. In a way though, I didn't mind
it so much. I've been on a rollercoaster of emotions. So conflicted about
what I saw, how to feel about what I saw, how to stop getting boners from
what I saw. It was the most erotic thing I've ever seen, but it was my
Dad. The first guy I'd ever even thought about sexually and it's my fucking
Dad.

I really did my best not to think about it. But how could I not? His long
muscled legs bent high, spread wide. The perfect view of his furred nut
sack and the flesh colored dildo disappearing in and out of his hole. The
flex of his ass cheeks as he rose and fell from the mattress. His long
thick pole being stroked with a vengeance. And his voice...the sounds he
made. I don't think I've heard anything so hot. I stopped jacking off to
that vision after fifth day. I had too. It wasn't helping and I wasn't
getting any closer to figuring out what to do about all of this.

As much as I love my mother's face, I secretly wanted more of my father's
rugged features. His square jaw line that was somehow always covered in
five o'clock shadow. He had a prominent nose, but it was still well
balanced on his face. He's got super curly dark brown hair, but he hates it
so much, he keeps it cut so short you barely notice a bend in the hairs.
And his eyes, when he smiled, were so warm you could get lost just staring
into them. I remember how safe I felt just by looking into them. I grew up
thinking he was the strongest man I ever knew. I still hold on to that.

I suddenly realized his attraction to me might be why he's so distant.
Jeez, I can only imagine how he's been beating himself up over this. Hell
maybe it's Mom too. Maybe he's just lonely. I have to get him to talk to
me. I'm going to college in the fall and I can't go away with all this
distance between us. I don't even know where to start though.

I stayed after school on Friday doing some extra credit. I got home around
five and Dad was home. When I came in I could see his head peeking up above
his recliner in the family room. I guessed he was into the show he was
watching because he didn't move or say anything when I came in. I put my
stuff on the kitchen counter and went over to him.

"Dad?" I said quietly. He didn't move. He just took a deep breath. I moved
around to face him. He had his elbows on his knees and head in his hands.
He was crying quietly.  "Oh my God, Dad...what's wrong?" I said kneeling in
front of him.

His head jerked up and he stood quickly from the chair. "What! Nothing! I,
um, I'm fine. What the hell? They let you guys out early again?" he
demanded. Clearly I'd shocked him and he was trying to clean his face and
wipe the evidence of his tears.

"Dad I'm not early, I'm late. It's after five." I walked over to him and
reached to touch is shoulder, "Dad what's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's none of your damn business!" he yelled and jerked his arm
away from me.

He started to walk away and I just lost it. I needed to get some answers.
"Dad! Is it Mom? Is that why you're upset? I miss her too Dad. I know
things haven't been as good since she died but Dad she wouldn't want you to
keep going on like this," I pleaded. I've been trying to do everything I
can to make things easier for you. And lately you act like you can't even
stand to be around me. I don't know what else I can do to fix things with
us. I just..." I couldn't speak anymore. The tears flooded and I broke down
and fell into his chair and sobbed.

I don't know how long I sat there and cried but suddenly I felt my dad's
hand on the back of my head, his fingers stroking my hair. "Oh son, none of
this is your fault," Dad said.

"Please Dad, just talk to me!" I looked up begging him with my tear
streaked face. "Please Dad. I need you, I miss you. I want us to be close
again like we used to."

"I can't John Jr. There's something going on with me that is just too
fucked up. I just can't talk to you about it. I'm...there's something wrong
with me and I don't know how to fix it."

I knew he was talking about me. "Dad, you can talk to me. About anything.
I'm not a baby anymore. I'm a man," I said softly trying to convince him to
open up to me.

John Sr. just looked down at me and gave me a crooked smile and ran his
finger tips through my wavy locks. "Trust me son, I know you're a man.
You've grown into an amazing person." He took a finger and traced my
hairline, from my forehead to my ear.

I couldn't help but lean into his palm, I loved when he touched my face.
"Thanks Dad. That means so much that you know that. I've done my best to
make you proud of me." I stood up and threw my arms around him. He didn't
return the embrace right away and for a moment I felt scared he didn't mean
what he said. Maybe he was just trying to make me feel better. But slowly I
felt his arms surround me...his palms on my back. Then squeezed for all it
was worth.

I buried my face in his neck and let the tears flow some more. I was just
so happy to feel his strength. I was able to just let go again and be his
kid. "It's okay JJ, I'm here son. I'm so sorry for everything. I'm so
sorry," he professed softly.

I pulled away and looked into his eyes. I couldn't believe he apologized to
me. "Thanks Dad. I really appreciate that." I kissed his cheek and held him
some more. Not wanting the moment to end. Dad's hands were stroking my
back, it felt so soothing. All the tension and fear just melted out of me.
God he smelled good. His body was so firm and warm. I licked my lips and
tasted the salt from his cheek. My body shuttered. "Mmm, this is nice," I
moaned. Fuck, did I say that out loud?

Dad froze. Yep, I said it out loud. He slowly pulled away and put some
space between us. "Uh son, tell you what, why don't we, uh, order something
or got out somewhere for dinner."

He wouldn't look at me. Fuck!

"We've been through a lot and we should just relax tonight. What do you say
kid?"

He was rambling and desperate for an exit. "Dad please", I said grabbing
his forearm to stop him from leaving. He wasn't getting an out from me.
"Can you tell me what's been going on with you? I'm not going to let it go
and I don't think things are going to be right with us until you tell me.
Whatever it is I can take it. Whatever it is, I'll still love you. I
promise."

He took a few deep breaths. He lowered his head as if defeated and just
nodded.

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