Date: Tue, 3 Dec 2002 15:14:36 -0800
From: JS Collection <js.collection@verizon.net>
Subject: Like a promised Sunrise

THIS STORY IS TOTALLY FICTITIOUS. IT CONTAINS DESCRIPTIVE SEX BETWEEN TWO
MEN. IF THIS IS OFFENSIVE TO YOU DON'T READ IT. IF IT IS ILLEGAL FOR YOU TO
BE READING IT YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE TO BEGIN WITH SO JUST GO
ELSEWHERE. OTHERWISE, ENJOY IT. JWS

P.S. MOST OF MY WRITING HAS SOME SEX IN IT. IT IS SELDOM IN THE BEGINNING
AND IS USUALLY AN INTEGRAL PART OF THE STORY. SO IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
JACKOff MATERIAL YOU ARE PROBABLY WASTING YOUR TIME READING ME. JWS



	Like a Prpmised Sunrise (PART6)
	J.W.Smith


	We took turns talking to him for the rest of the day. There was no
more response out of him. The girls stopped in during regular visiting
hours, and Annie took a turn talking to him. He had closed us all out and
wasn't listening any more.  They left, I'm sure they were more down hearted
than ever. Bob took a break around nine and went down to the cafeteria and
to call home to give Betty a report.

	As soon as he left, I pulled the sheet down to Judd's waist and
pulled the silly gown off of him. I started massaging his chest and
sides. I continued talking to him as I rubbed his arms, his shoulders and
up to his scalp, I leaned down and kissed him. He moaned. I continued with
my tactile stimulation, rubbing back down his torso, his thighs, calves,
and his feet.  His cock was hard as a rock now. Still he did not wake up. I
took his cock in my hand and squeezed it a bit. That got another moan out
of him. I was talking to him continually.

	"Oh, Judd you don't know how much I've miss your beautiful cock,
too. I want you so badly. Please come back to me. I can hardly wait to feel
this big beautiful cock rubbing my prostate again. God, I can feel how you
push until you pop inside me, and fill me with your hugeness. I can hear
those little whimpers you make just before you come. Oh how your cock gets
even bigger and harder just before you come. And when you come, I feel so
full of love for you I just come without even touching myself."

	I realized that it wasn't my imagination. I was hearing him
whimper. His balls had pulled up tight. I felt his cock get harder just as
he exploded his cum all over himself, the bed and me. I looked at the mess
and chuckled.

	" Wow, you didn't even have to wake up to do that."

	I leaned forward and licked the cum from his body. I love the taste
of him.

	"You missed a gob."

	I thought Bob had come back into the room and caught me in this act
of desperation. I turned, but there was no one in the room. I turned and
looked at Judd. His eyes were open and he was smiling at me.

	"You're awake."

	"That was better than phone sex. But next time make it full body
contact."

	"I love you, Judd."  A pained expression crossed his face. I
panicked.

	"Are you okay?"  He just looked at me with his eyebrows creased.

	"Judd, can you forgive me for being so stupid?  I promise I'll
never be jealous of you again. Please, Judd, I don't want to live without
you. I don't think I can."

	 "Did I hear Dad's voice awhile ago? Maybe I was dreaming."

	"Yes. He's down stairs calling your mother. He'll be back up in a
few minutes. Let me tell the doctor your awake."

	I went to the door and called to the doctor. He had his back to me,
talking to a nurse. He turned and looked at me. I nodded and grinned. They
came hurrying in. Judd had the presence of mind to cover himself. I stood
at the head of the bed and held his hand while they did their
ministrations. When they pulled the sheet down, it was obvious that I
hadn't cleaned him up very well. The doctor stuck his finger in the puddle
in the hollow of his neck and smelled of it. He glanced up at me with a
raised eyebrow. I shrugged and smiled. The nurse was grinning. The doctor
broke into a big grin, too.

	"Hey, it worked, Doc." I said.

	Judd turned a deep red and squeezed my hand.The nurse got a warm
wet cloth and started to wipe him down. I took it from her.

	"Let me, I made this mess." I told her. She grinned and acquiesced.

	"Oh, I thought Judd did it." She giggled. Judd blushed again.

	"Well, he did, but I caused it."

	"Would you two stop. You're embarrassing the patient." The doctor
said, grinning.  We both giggled.

"Maybe I should just go back to sleep." Judd said. He was having a hard
time acting serious.

	"Don't you dare?"  We three said in unison.


	It was more than a week after he woke up before Judd was released
from the hospital. When Bob saw that he was going to be okay, he went off
with Lee for the afternoon.  I assumed that he wanted to talk to her being
she's a psychologist. The next morning he went back to Pecos. Judd
continued to refuse to discuss what had happened and how it impacted our
relationship. I assumed that when he got back home he would open up to me.

	On the morning he was to be released, I arrived with fresh clothes
for him.  I pushed the door open to his room just as I heard a nurse call
my name. I waved and walked on in. The room was empty. The bed had been
made up fresh. The flowers and cards, everything was gone. I turned and
looked at the nurse who had followed me in.

	"I'm sorry, I tried to tell you. He left with the two women that
come to visit everyday."

	Her pronouncement laid waste to my equanimity. I fled. I found
myself sitting in the jeep parked in my garage. How long I had been sitting
there I know not. I had no memory of even driving back from the hospital. I
dragged myself up to the loft. I stood in the middle of the floor and broke
down. This time I cried for me.  Although I still didn't feel I deserved
Judd's love, I wanted it desperately.  When I had cried it out. When there
were no more tears. I shuffled into the bathroom and undressed. I stood
under the hot shower for several minutes. I dried off and crept into my
bed. The only way I could cope was to shut down and sleep.

			}{ }{ }{ }{ }{

		    Solitude has made itself at home
   	Emptiness is my bed partner
          		Long nights alone
 	      My penitence

			}{ }{ }{ }{ }{


	The phone woke me. I looked at the clock.  It read 6: 47 A.M.  I
picked up the receiver just before the machine took over.

	"Lo." I mumbled.

	"Jace?"  It was Judd. I wanted to lay the phone back into its
cradle, but I couldn't pull it away from my ear. "Jace? Are you okay?"

	"Why do you ask?"

	"Because I care."

	"I'm okay."

	"I want to apologize for not telling you I was leaving with
Annie. I just didn't want to argue with you."

	"I succeeded in pushing you into her arms, did I?"

	"No, Jace. She and Lee took me to my new apartment. Dad And Lee
arranged the rental."

	"I see."

	"Jace, I want to work this out with you.  I don't think it would
work living with you right now. I have a lot of things to work out in my
head. And the problems get ignore if we are sleeping together. You see that
don't you?"

	"I'm happy you want to work it out with me. Judd, I am so sorry for
what I did. I pray that you can eventually forgive me."

	"It's going to take time and work to get back to where we were."

	"Did Lee tell you I start group therapy next Wednesday?"

	"No, she didn't tell me."

	"Professional integrity I guess. She's the one who helped me find
this group. It's very confrontational. I think it's just exactly what I
need. Lee agrees."

	"She's been working on me, too.  She one of the good guys under
that gruff exterior, you know. And Lizz likes her, too."

	"And I know that Lizz likes Annie, too. She sure does miss you. She
wanders around howling like a banshee when it's time for you to be home."

	"Jace. Don't. Please."

	"I was just going to say that if your apartment will allow cats you
should take her. She'd be much happier with you. Gretch won't let her near
me."

	"You'd give Lizz to me?"

	"Why not? You love her and she loves you."

	"Jace, I---."

	"I know. You don't have to say it."

	"I love you."

	Damn, he said it any way. It gave me a warm felling.

	"I hope to one day be worthy of your love again, Judd."

	"Jace, I have to run. I have an appointment with the dean in
thirty-five minutes. I've missed three weeks of school. I may be suspended
for the rest of the semester."

	"I'm really sorry about that, Judd."

	"You've got to stop apologizing for everything."

	"Judd, would you have dinner with me some night?"

	"Do you think that's wise, right now?"

	"You could meet me at a restaurant. It's public. Dinner and talk."

	"Let me think about it. I'll call you this evening."



	I felt better. At least there was light at the end of this long
dank tunnel that I had dug for myself. I made a pot of coffee, mixed mysef
a mug of sludge and sat down to think. It was time to pick up the pieces
and get my life put back together.

	I sat at my word processor, forcing myself to concentrate on my
characters interaction. After about four pages of continuous writing, I
scrolled back and started reading what I had just poured out onto the
keyboard. It was dribble. My characters were acting out my emotions, not
their own. I reread it looking for any salvageable bit. Then I decided to
save it separate from my story. At least it was therapeutic.

	I went back and read the last two chapters that I had written
before all this upheaval. I got the jist of my storyline and where it
should be heading, and started writing again. The phone rang shattering my
concentration. I realized that it was dusk. I had been writing for nearly
ten hours.

	"Hello?"

	"Would you meet me at the Barefoot?"

	"When?"

	"Forty-five minutes?"

	"I'll be there."

	My heart was in my throat the entire time I was dressing. I rushed
down to the garage. No, I danced in the lift all the way down to the
garage. I was going to see Judd. It was only yesterday that I had last seen
him, but that was a lifetime ago.

	I entered the traffic on the 10 west. It's always slow but it's
faster than surface streets nearly anytime. I exited onto Robertson. Every
signal was against me it seemed, but I finally got up to Third Street. I
hung a right and there was a parking place waiting for me right in front of
the restaurant.

	I rushed into the bar and looked around.  I didn't see him.  The
hostess walked up to me.

	"Please follow me, Mr. Deason."

	She led me up stairs. Judd was sitting in a little nook. There
didn't appear to be anyone else up there. The hostess disappeared back down
the stairs. I stared at Judd.  My God, he must be the most beautiful man on
earth. He smiled, and motioned for me to sit.

	"Thank you for coming, Jace." He said. I sat down. We hadn't broken
eye contact. I couldn't find my tongue.

	"You're looking better than when you left the hospital yesterday,
Jace."

	I nodded.

	"Are you going to stare at me all evening?" he asked.

	"I'm storing up for later."  He grinned. I looked down.

	"How did the hostess know who I am? She's new. I've never seen her
before."

	"I told her that when my twin came in, to bring him up here."

	"Hmm, not older brother, huh? Why did you change your mind about
dinner?"

	"I needed to see you, to be able to look at your face when you are
talking".

	The waiter came and took our order. We conversed about how lucky it
was that he was allowed to make up the three weeks over the Christmas
holiday, and that I was going on a book signing tour in February. He
volunteered to stay with Liz and Gretch while I am gone.

	When our dinner was served we ate quietly enjoying each other's
company but staying away from the subject of us. When we stood to go he
stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked out the door, turning to say he
would call me tomorrow. I waved and walked to my Jeep not looking back. I
didn't want him to see how desperate I was feeling as I left. But I had to
look as I opened the Jeep door.

	He was leaning against his pickup looking at me. I grasped the top
of the doorframe and stared back. After a few moments he got in to his
pickup and drove away. I lay my head against my arms and sighed.

	Christmas Eve was two days later. I was invited to Annie and Lee's
for dinner. I was hesitant to go, but knowing Judd would be there I
couldn't stay away. I went out and bought them each a gift. I knew I was
over doing it, but why not. I got Judd and Annie laptops and a Personal
Secretary for Lee.

	When I arrived Judd met me at the door and gave me a brotherly
hug. At least this time he touched me. I returned it in kind. He studied my
face as he stood back.

	"I'm following your lead. I'm not going to push." I told him.

	He nodded. Lee stepped up and hugged me whispering in my ear.

	"Patience has great rewards."

	I got this image in my head of a slim little piece of paper
sticking out of a convoluted cookie. I whispered back.

	"Ah so."

	I kowtowed to her.  She chuckled and punched me on the arm.

	"You're such an enigma, Jace. But I'm going to figure you out yet."

	"Well, I'm, at least, not an enema."

	"That's arguable."

	It was a good thing she grinned as she said that, because her tone
of voice belied it.  Or maybe I was being touchy. Annie stuck her head out
of the kitchen and waved.

	Their living room was decorated conservatively, which I
appreciated. There was a small tree on a table in the corner. It was
decorated with silver rope and small silver balls.  An old fashion angel
graced the top of it.  They had looped garlands of fresh greenery around
the dining area and kitchen door. Red candles on the table. I went in and
asked Annie if she if she needed help.

	"Sure. The only help those two give me doesn't involve cooking. But
they do like to eat. Would you stir this white sauce into the peas, add the
pearl onions and season them, please?"

	"No problem." I did as she asked while she smashed yams, adding
butter and maple syrup.

	"What's next?"

	"Get the ham out of the oven and cut the slices off. You can lay
them out on that platter. There's parsley for garnish."

	It was a Honey-baked Ham; we were in for some good eating.She
plopped the yams into a bowl and handed it to Lee, who was standing in the
doorway with Judd.

	 "Judd, there are four salad plates and forks in the freezer. Would
you place them on the table." She poured vinaigrette dressing over a
bowlful of baby greens, tossed it, and handed that to Lee. She whirled and
opened a toaster oven and extracted some hot sourdough buns.

	 "I think that's it. Let's eat."

	She served a nice California Rose wine. I took an obligatory
sip. Judd watched me; I winked at him and smiled. He got up and came back
with a glass of water for me. Lee raised an eyebrow at me.

	"I love the taste but I can't drink." I explained to her.

	"Do you go to AA?" She asked, forever the consummate social worker.

	"He's intolerant, not addicted. He can't drink even a shot without
getting very sick. First thing I learned about Jace." Judd said.

	"I never heard of such a thing."

	"Like you're always telling me, Lee, live and learn." Annie said.

	"Annie, if I had known you were so proficient in the kitchen, I
would have let you take over with Betty at Thanksgiving." I said, turning
the subject away from my alcohol problem.  She laughed.

	"Thanks, Jace."

	"Have you two done any talking yet?" Lee inquired. I looked at
Judd.

	"No. I thought maybe this week while school is out would be a good
time to start." He said.  Lee turned to me.

	"How do you feel about it, Jace?"

	"I am willing to go at any pace that Judd is comfortable with. I'm
not going to push him."

	"But how do you feel?"  She emphasized feel.
	I looked at Judd as I answered.

	"I feel very guilty for hurting two very dear people. I feel that
if it were me in their position, I would have a very difficult time
forgiving me." Looking at Judd, I said, "I want your love more than
anything in the world, but I don't feel worthy of it." I turned to
Annie. "I feel I over reacted. I ask again for you to forgive me. Let's be
friends."

	Annie looked me in the eye as she responded.

	"Jace, you didn't overreact. I would have done the same thing if I
had been in your position. It's I that needs to ask your forgiveness. It
was thoughtlessof us to shower together, even though there isn't the least
sexual interest between us. Will you forgive me?"

	"Of course, I forgive you. I knew when I saw you two washing each
other's hair there was nothing bad happening.  It's just that jealousy has
no intelligence."

	"Annie and I had a long discussion about it. I'm just glad it
wasn't me that happened to walk in on them. I probably would have reacted
more strongly than you did." Lee said.

	Annie blushed and ducked her head. Judd had sat there quietly
nibbling his salad during all this. He kept glancing up at me as he
chewed. We were all quiet for a minute, and then Annie looked up at me.

	"The thing that I was angry about was that you didn't go after
Judd. Especially after eight days. And that you didn't answer you phone
during that time." Annie said.

	"Jealousy is a sick horrible illness. It makes me nauseous to think
about how it was making me act. I seemed to have no control over my
thoughts. I dwelled constantly on imaging you two together, even though I
knew that you and Judd are gay."

	"Recognizing jealousy and what it can do is half the battle in
combating it." Lee said, and then she turned to Judd.

	"Judd your very quiet, Are you okay?"

	He looked at me. He had tears running down his cheeks.

	"I think that my actions were totally juvenile. I was in the wrong
from the beginning. I never stopped to think about how it looked, Annie and
me in the shower. Hell, I may have just killed if I had been you, Jace.  I
knew that drinking was no way to respond to your anger. It was childish to
do so. I kept hoping that you would come make me stop. I am embarrassed
that I did it. I am thankful that you three care about me. I love you all.
Jace, if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I'd be most
grateful. I really do love you."

	"I have never thought about you needing forgiveness. I've been
wallowing in my own guilt so much that I haven't considered you being
guilty of anything. Of course, I forgive you. How could I not? What you
did, I drove you to doing. Damn, Judd, you've become the center of my
life. I've come to love you more that life itself."

	"I haven't been communicating very well. I kept hearing you begging
my forgiveness and I've been feeling so guilty myself, I couldn't figure
out why you needed forgiving, Jace. And I apologize for not being a little
more adult in my actions. I'll try to be in the future. You know I love you
with my total being."

	There was total quiet at the table as we stared into each other's
eyes. I felt like pushing the table aside and grabbing that beautiful young
man sitting across from me and ravishing him right there. Finally Lee
cleared her throat.

	"We have a wonderful dinner getting colder as we sit here. Let's
eat it in appreciation of Annie's effort to feed us."

	We all grinned and dove into the food. I hadn't had such an
appetite in weeks. And from the way Judd was eating, he hadn't
either. There was only a few scraps of ham left when we all push back from
the table. We move into the living room for coffee and a light English
trifle.

	Although I sat on the sofa, Judd chose to sit in a chair opposite
me. I figured that even though he had expressed his love for me, he still
wasn't comfortable getting close to me. I couldn't blame him; I was still
beating on myself.  Nothing more was said about the occurrences of the last
three weeks. We discussed world events.  Somehow we got onto the subject of
having a family

	"I don't know about how I feel about adopting, but I've always
wanted my own child. Lee and I have discussed it some, but finding the
father we would want is a problem." Annie said.

	"You know I've always dreamed about having a family. Having been
raised in a loving home I guess it's natural. The only thing is I don't
want a wife." Judd said. We all laughed.

	"You've got a big problem, Judd." Lee laughed.  "Annie and I can
have kids with just the semen from a man, but you are going to need a whole
woman to give you a child."

	When the time came to part I could feel the depression of having to
go back to my loft alone begin to grow. I'd set my mind to the fact that he
had his own place now; that he didn't want to live with me.  As the girls
walked us out to the sidewalk, Lee embraced my waist and whispered.

	"Remember what I said earlier. And cheer up."

	They said goodnight and went back inside.  I stood with my hands in
my pockets, looking at Judd. He was staring at the ground. He looked up at
me.

	"Will you let me go back home with you, Jace?" He asked in a little
boy voice.

	I thought my heart would burst with joy. My hands came out of my
pockets and to his face. I pulled him to me and kissed him, wrapping my
arms around him.

	"Oh God, I love you, Judd. Come on, we'll get your pickup
tomorrow."  I dragged him toward the Jeep.

	When I slid the door open and Lizz saw Judd she let out a chilling
yowl and tried to climb his leg. He bent down and pick her up. She was
butting her head against his chin and purring like a motorboat. Even
standoffish Gretch was wrapping herself around his legs. I picked her up
and she immediately climbed onto my shoulder. I wrapped Judd in a hug with
Lizz in between us. Gretch moved off of my shoulder on to his and rubbed
her head against his cheek.

	"I think you have been missed. Welcome home, Sweetheart."

	He leaned into me, crushing Lizz as he kissed me. She just purred a
little louder.  We put the cats down and moved back into each others
arms. We held each other for several minutes lightly kissing back and
forth.
	"Come on, it's late. lets go to bed." I said breaking away and
pulling him with toward the bed. I turned and started undressing him. He
followed my lead. We kissed each part that we bared. When we were totally
naked we climbed into bed. We couldn't let go of each other. We snuggled
and hugged kissing lightly. Neither of us had a hardon. It was enough this
night to just enjoy holding and loving each other. There was plenty of time
later for love. We eventually drifted off to sleep.

	Walking the next morning, I was cuddled up against Judd with his
arms wrapped tightly around me. I just lay there enjoying the fact that he
was back and I was in his arms.


I poured two glasses of juice and sat down on the sofa facing the
windows. Judd came in, my eyes carressed him as he sat down between my legs
on the floor, wrapping an arm around my thigh. Neither of us was sleepy. He
took his glass and drained it in one gulp.

	"Being in love is thirsty business." He explained.

	 There's a floor to ceiling mirror between the two windows. Judd
studied the two of us as I sipped my juice and enjoyed the feel of his body
between my legs.

	"You know," he said in a subdued voice, "We're not just
incestuous. I think we must be narcissistic, too."

	"Why?"

	"Look at us." He motioned toward the mirror. " We look like
identical twins."

	"I look older."

	"Not really. But it's easy to tell us apart. You've got a bigger
cock."

	"That's a grand way to identify us. I'll just pull out my cock and
say, 'See I'm Jace. My cock is a quarter of an inch longer and half an inch
bigger around.'"

	We laughed.

	"What I can't figure out, Judd, is that if we look so much alike,
how come I don't get a hardon looking at myself in the mirror? I look at
you in the mirror and see what the effect is."

	It was so good to have him back. I still can't believe I was
capable of having thrown him out. I was one sick fucked-up idiot.


			Two Years Later

	I awakened late in the morning. Judd was spooned against my
back. My head rested on one of his arms and the other was around my chest.
I lifted his arm and started to move toward the edge of the bed. He pulled
me back and nuzzled the back of my neck.

	"You better let me go. Neither of us is into water sports."

	"Mmm, hurry back. I'm not through with you yet." He murmured.

	When I came out of the bathroom he was spread eagle on his
stomach. I stopped to enjoy his beauty, his muscular back, the two
delectable mounds of his ass, and those long legs that were recently
wrapped around me as we made love.

	Since he was lightly snoring, I went to the kitchen and made
coffee. I walked back to the end of the bed. I crawled up and lay down on
top of him. I kissed the back of his neck.

	" Merry Christmas, Jace. I'm all yours." He mumbled. "Do with me as
you will. Just don't expect any response out of me. You've worn me out."

	"Merry Christmas to you, Fluffy Buns. It's going to be hours before
I can get it up again. I've never cum so many times in one night. Roll over
and hold me."

	I raised my body so he could turn. We wrapped our limbs around each
other. I gazed into his eyes.

	"Like a promised sunrise you ascend into my day." I murmured to
him. He raised his eyebrows and smiled.

	"You remember my poem."

	I nodded and smiled back at him. I repeated the rest of it.

	"The brightness of your eyes lights my way. With you I am where I
belong, Protected in your arms. I've never felt so strong."

	"I mean every word of it." He said.

	"You couldn't have said it any better for the way I feel about you,
Judd."


	Post Script:
	We're supposed to be on our way over to Lee and Annie's to have
Christmas Eve dinner and celebrate our second anniversary, but Judd has
nearly undressed me. I reciprocated. I cannot keep my hands off of him. I'm
so happy the feeling is mutual. I called Lee.

	"We will be a few minutes late, we have been waylaid."

	"Yeah, which way did you horny bastards get laid this time?" She
asked.

	"That's way more info than you need laid on you, Lady." I replied.



			That's all

  You may flame me or what ever at js.collection@verizon.net