Date: Sat, 15 Feb 2014 08:50:44 +0000
From: Raul Bimenyimana <raulbimenyimana@hotmail.com>
Subject: Matters of The Heart 2

			  MATTERS OF THE HEART 2

I would like to start this chapter by thanking everyone who sent me mail,I
am very grateful for the kind words and support.I'd like to thank Pen and
Colin(from Australia)for encouraging me and their kind words led me to
complete this chapter faster and to nifty for giving me the opportunity to
post the story.

I have noticed some mistakes with the first chapter please forgive me for
them.

Warning:Acts of sex between consenting male individuals ahead,if you are
offended by this exit now,if you happen to be a minor then don't read this
and if you do,don't read this in front of the authorities,I wouldn't be
liable for whatever consequences that may befall you.

Latly some people asked me if this story is based on events that actually
occured in my life,the truth is that only part of it is,especially the
beginning is based on true life events.The characters in the story have
been given different names to protect their identities.


Looking back at how Frank and I met,I always knew that he was the one I'd
always love,at the moment I was uncertain if the love would ever be
reciprocated but I was certain I loved him.

He was an engineering student at the University of Pennsylvania and he was
in his final year,as excited as he was about finishing school he was very
busy as well and rarely saw his family anymore.

"So what's Nairobi like?"he asked."It's the most beautiful place you could
ever be in,it's more populous than Philadelphia but there's lots to see and
the wildlife reserve in the area is beyond magnificent" "Really do they
like have lions,elephants,hyenas and cheetahs?!"he asked excitedly as
mention of wildlife sparked his interest."Yeah""And you've seen them?!""Yes
I have,you can see them in their orphanage or out in the wild I've done
both""Wow".

At that very moment,Aunt Eva arrived with Malaika,Malaika however ran
toward Frank giving him a big hug which he returned affectionately."And how
is my little angel doing?!""Fine,look uncle I lost a tooth""Well would you
look at that someones becoming a big girl""Hi,Frank""Hi,Eva"he approched
Eva with Malaika in one arm and hugged her with the other."I see you've
already met my nephew,Riley""Yeah,I have he was keeping me company while
waiting and he sure does have some stories""Honey,you don't just live in
Nairobi and lack some exciting stories,and how is school?""School is fine,I
just took a break this weekend to relax a bit and decided to drop by and
say hello,I was hoping I'd catch Steve""He's running a few errands but
he'll be back in a while,let's take a seat""And how is Fiona doing?""She's
fine,I haven't been seeing her much lately because of the frantic schedule
but she's good".

It felt like a little jab to my heart when Fiona was mentioned but I
realised that a guy like him must be straight and have a girlfriend,so I
resolved the matter by telling myself whoever this Fiona person was,she was
one lucky bitch.

Later on in the afternoon Steve came back from work and it was quite a
touching sight to see what kind of special bond the two brothers had as
they engaged in playful teasing.It was a beautiful affair and they all
involved me in their conversations making me feel like family.

Later we all had dinner speacially prepared by me and Aunt Eva.We had
chapatis,samosas,rice,chicken,kales and spinach along with ugali.All these
were delicacies I had learnt to cook from my mom,and cooking them with Eva
brought so many fond memories.

They all practically devoured the food,even little Malaika which made me
very happy."Well there's no doubt you took after your mother in the kitchen
department,"Aunt Eva said"You always cook well but you've outdone yourself
today.""Eva's right this is really great"Frank added,while Steve affirmed
with a yeah.

Moments later Malaika was trying to stay awake but failing miserably and
Eva decided to take her to her room shortly after Malaika bid us all
goodnight.Some minutes later I also said my goodnights to Steve and Frank
and went to my room.In my room,I lay on my bed and couldn't help the big
smile that found its way on my face when I remembered the events of the
day.Remembering Franks face,his eyes,his body,just then a knock on the door
woke me up from my reverie.

"Come in",Eva came in closing the door gently."You like him,"she said more
of a statement than a question.She was always like that,straight to the
point,the queston took me by surprise so I remained silent thinking of
something to tell her."It's ok,you know you don't have to hold back what
you feel anymore," "I know" "Really then start acting like you do and I've
already told you that this is also your home too.You've been walking on
eggshells and are nervous everytime.RELAX."

"Sorry,I'm not used to just saying how I feel or talking about my
attraction for other guys with someone but I promise to loosen up a bit
more""Good,now will you tell me about your little crush on Frank""Aunt
Eva!"I whined"By this point you should know that whining ain't gonna help
you,now spill it"I sighed again,arguing with her was hopeless so I just
resolved to tell her the truth."Yes I like him""How did it happen""I don't
know,I just did,I just met him and he completely blew me away""Whoa,now I
understand it's normal to have a crush on someone but I don't want to see
you get hurt you do know that he's straight,right?""Yah""And that he has a
girlfriend""Yah,I know,don't worry I know all that""Oh Riley it's ok,you're
still young,you'll find someone who'll love you and be their for you."She
said holding my hands,I could only give a nod in reply as the lump in my
throat was going to betray my emotions if I spoke.

After that day,I thought of Frank more often than anyone else before.The
only person I ever thought of frequently was my late mother,but not in that
sense.I remembered of his blue eyes,his full red lips,his fine black
hair,his strong jaw and as much as I tried telling myself that I shouldn't
get my hopes up I just ended up thinking of him.

School went on well,my grades couldn't be any better my social life on the
other hand wasn't doing as well.Apart from Claire,Sean and Daniel I didn't
have many friends.Some acquaintances but not many friends.Steve and Eva
always supported me with school always telling me how proud they were when
I came home with good grades.

I didn't get to hang out with Frank as often as I'd like Frank eventually
graduated and even Steve threw him a party.This is when I got to meet
Fiona.She really was beautiful,she had a body you see with Victoria Secrets
models,blue eyes and.. a terrible personality.At the party while we were
introduced,she was down right arrogant.

"Fiona I'd like you to meet Riley,Eva's nephew,Riley Fiona,my
girlfriend,"Frank warmly introduced us."Hi Fiona,"I greeted her while
extending my hand.She all but ignored my hand and went on with texting
away.

Frank actually seemed embarrassed by the situation,I could do nothing but
take my hand back and say"nice to meet you Fiona"while smiling at Frank
trying to tell him it was ok.Good enough he was able to understand the
message and smiled in return as I went to mingle with the other guests.

I tried to tell myself that Fiona was probably relaying urgent information
when we were being introduced but as the evening went by I resolved that
she was just being rude.When talking with other people I noticed there were
those she spoke with well,Steve and Eva for example but when she talked to
some others..well let's just say there wasn't much talking on her part.

Frank later came to apologize for Fiona's conduct,"Sorry for what happened
with Fiona""You don't have to apologize for anything,she must have been
busy,anyway I'd like to congratulate you on your graduation and wish you
success in your endeavours""Thank you Riley,everything going well with
school?""Yeah,everything's great""Well that's good to hear,

Later on before Frank started working he began spending a lot of time with
his family.That meant I got to see him more and more which was just fine
with me.At first we'd go to movies all of us together then later we had
picnics and if we were "lucky enough" Fiona would grace us with her
presence.At these times though,Fiona was cordial enough to me but as soon
as Steve and eva stepped out,she'd go back to bitch mode.

I was very confused with what Frank saw in her,ok she was pretty and all
but her personality took away all the beauty one saw.I guess if I was
straight I'd be able to see what he saw in her but since I was not I bit my
tongue and treated her as well as I could.

Something else that discombobulated me was how hypocritical she was,I mean
why was she saving face and acting all nice to certain people and acting
like a bitch to everyone else.I noticed however how everyone she treated
nicely was close to Frank.

I approached Eva one day with this question and I was shocked by how
vehemently Eva came to Fiona's defence,"Riley don't you think it's your
feelings for Frank that have clouded your judgement?""No they haven't,at
first I thought it was so but you really have to see how she gets when you
guys are not around""I've known Fiona longer than you have and the Fiona I
know is a sweet and humble girl..Riley stop acting so shocked and close
your mouth"

"What's more,what did I tell you about Frank,get ideas of you two together
out of your head and even if something were to happen he's way older than
you""He's just six years older and I am not saying this because of
Frank""Really?!so it just happens you like the boy and coincidentally hate
the girlfriend?""I don't hate her,all I'm saying is...well you know
what,I'm sorry you're right,my judgement of her was flawed"I relented
knowing fully well there was no way I was going to win that
argument."Hmph!"she replied to my statement clearly exprssing her
disappointment.

When I had first arrived in the States,I was unfamiliar with what my dad
would call secular music.It was prohibited to listen to any music that
wasn't Gospel,but thankfully I came across a lot of music in my new
home.Most of it was music from the 70s,80s and early 90's.I liked the music
more than what was contemporary.Since I was deprived of it,I tried every
genre I could and liked almost all of them.

This was to be a good thing since Frank and I ended up liking the same
music,it was so good that we could just at times enjoying each others
company while the sweet voice of Whitney Houston took us to the heavens and
back.

It was sweet to see this man who was all man get in touch with emotions and
let the sweet music move him.It was weird though he didn't listen to music
like that with anyone else,I guess that made me feel special knowing I was
the only one who he'd let see in his vulnerability.

"Saving All My Love For You" was one of my favourites and one day when we
were listening to it,I looked at Frank who had his eyes closed and was
being moved and mouthed the lyrics of the song to him.Of course my message
was out of hte song's context but when the chorus came I could relate to
giving all my love to this man.



Two years had past since my arrival in the States .Frank for one had moved
to Florida and I no longer saw him at all,this really was a bit painful not
being able to see him anymore,but my right hand was still subjected to
pleasing myself with the memory of him as I still remembered every inch of
him perfectly.  His perfect dimples that formed when he smiled to reveal
his teeth,the sparkle in his blue eyes.  I was hopelessly in love with a
straight man and I tried telling myself that I needed to snap out of this
infatuation,but I could not and the fact that he was so far away did not
alleviate the pain.

The only good news was that Frank called oftenly and even spoke to me about
how he and Fiona were doing,Fiona normally spoke to Steve and Eva in case
she was with Frank when he was calling,we never spoke since I don't think
she even remembered my name.

For my sixteenth birthday,Eva and Steve surprised me by buying me a car,I
couldn't believe how generous they were,I hugged them both and thanked them
kissing them both on the cheek,actually for the first time I think I saw
Steve blush and Eva guffawed at the situation.

Sean,Daniel and Claire were also there as well,I was so happy to be with my
family and friends and all that was missing was the man my heart craved
for.

Just then I heard a familiar voice from behind me shout"Happy Birthday!"and
sure enough when I turned around there he was,standing in all his glory as
if by magic with his beautiful smile and a gift in his hands and just as I
was about to hug him,I saw her.If it wasn't for the love I felt for Frank
being greater than the detest I'd grown toward this woman,my jovial mood
might have changed,however that was not to be the case.

"Frank!?"I shouted in dibelief,"What a nice surprise and thank you for the
gift,"I said trying not to sound over excited."Hey it's nothing and i have
a feeling you'll like it"he said while I inspected the nice box I was
given.

"Happy Birthday Riley,"Fiona said with a warm smile extending her arm and
passing on a gift.For a moment I just froze and sared at heer completely
dumbfounded.I had no idea she even knew my name."Um,thank you Fiona,"I said
some what still surprised.Had she changed during her stay in Florida,just
as I was asking myself the question I heard her greet Steve and Eva
warmly.Of course,it finally clicked she was still ingratiating.

"With the way you talked about her,I thought Fiona was the ice queen,"Sean
remarked as we were talking out in the patio."Yeah Riley,how come yet she
seemed so nice"Claire supporting Sean's statement."I really don't know what
to tell you guys,she's never as nice to me as she was today,heck she never
even spoke to me till now,I just think she did it because of Eva and
Steve.""I know what you mean Riles,I've seen people like that,I know what
you mean,"Daniel spoke up."Thanks Danny,and I didn't think you two would be
the ones to doubt me""We don't doubt you,we just thought it was very ironic
how nice she was compared to the conceited person you described to
us,"Claire explained.

My gift from Frank was Madonna's Immaculate Collection,I loved and
cherished his gift.Fiona had given me socks,in her defence at least the
socks were comfy.

Summer of that year I got a job at restaurant as a waiter.My job wasn't
hard,I worked great shifts and it paid good money added with the tips I had
enough money.The assistant manager was cute too.

Tony was his name.He was a beautiful black man.Pearl white teeth,masculine
in every way and unfortunately straight as well,or atleast I thought.I
didn't understand what my attraction to straight men was.I couldn't help
but stare at him when he talked to me.I kept telling myself to stop
dreaming and get my act together but found myself still looking at his
face,wondering how his lips would feel pressed against mine.

Apart from his good looks Tony never really had anything much to show in
terms of character.He wasn't the meanest to work with but he was very crude
when conversing outside of work.If anything he just kept an official
appearance when the boss was around.

The both of us were just casual friends at work and our conversations
really never went far into personal stuff.I would be lying if I said I
didn't want us to know each other personally.In my mind I knew that I had
no chance with Frank so I fel getting to know Tony wouldn't be such a bad
thing and if it turned out he liked me as much as I liked him then we could

as our shift was over,Tony invited me to his house.He was so kind and sweet
with me so I couldn't refuse.We went back to his place,he got some beer
while he gave me a coke.It was neat and almost spartan.

We were watching and talking about anything and everything.He was asking me
about school while we were watching t.v.We were watching an ESPN special
what it was about I don't remember all I know is that those basketball were
getting me hot and bothered.

As the programme we were watching ended,Tony started browsing for something
else to watch he came across a soft porn channel and stopped.I almost
stopped breathing as I saw the arousing scene on the telly unfolding.

"You okay with this Riley?"Tony asked looking at me,I quickly nodded my
head yes and he laughed at my reaction.The main reason I was so drawn to it
was because of the man on the screen,he was bald,muscular and hung.I never
had seen anyone else's dick in a state of arousal before and I never went
out to look for porn so to say I was inexperienced would have been an
understatement.

Looking towards Tony I could see his hand inside his shorts which only
aroused me more.For a moment I could hardly breath,as I saw Tony moving his
hand inside his shorts.

"You ever jerk off Riley?""Yeah,"I answered shyly."No need to worry,hey
look" he said dropping his shorts and boxers only to leave his erect penis
swaying in the air.I gasped as I looked at him,or it.

He stood and came to where I was seating,dick swinging and said "I've been
seeing the way you look at me at work,hey don't worry it's ok,"he said"You
like me and I think you're cute too so we could help each other out"He was
now holding my arm drawing me to the couch.Still dumbfounded he removed his
shirt to reveal his chest.

"You can touch,go on don't be shy,"he urged me as I began to touch his pec
and chest.It was all so new to me,all those days I was dreaming of doing
this and here I was.I began twisting his nipples which caused him to
mourn,and lowered my trembling hands to his well endowed manhood.I know I
was six inches at the time but Tony was large,maybe eight inches if I had
to guess.

As I stroked his cock I got more courageous,hearing the moans emitted by
Tony.Soon I was stroking him quickly as my left hand played with his balls
and I cpuld hear him breathing hard.I was in awe of his cock and I went
touching it and just drinking in the male beauty that was Tony as his
masculine scent bathed the room.

After some time he stopped me,"take it slow babe,I'm really close".I smiled
as I heard him calling me babe."I think you should kiss Tony Junior,"he
said.I kissed the tip,licking the precum that had collected itself.I heard
him hiss and mourn as I continued licking and sucking at the head.I then
took the entire head into my mouth and started sucking it like a lolly as
Tony continued mourning and mourning louder.

Just then I realised how much I liked sucking dick.The taste of it,the
musky smell of him,the feel of his dick on my tongue,hearing his mourning
and the sight of Tony's face in pure bliss had me harder than I'd ever
been.If there was ever a doubt I had of being gay,of which I hadn't then at
that time I was convinced I really was.I decided to take more of the big
thing but gagged at first.

"Go slow,you're doing great as it is"he cooed.I renewed my efforts failing
thrice but at last I felt his pubes tickling my nose.Tony moaned so
loudly,and judging by his breathing I could tell he was close so I renewed
my efforts and sucked even harder.

Tony didn't last long after that as volumes of his thick juice shot into my
throat chocking me at first but I somehow managed to swallow most of it.The
force of his semen hitting the back of my throat was nothing like I'd
experienced before.When he finished he got up and told me to jerk myself
off.

It didn't take me long and I achieved an amazing orgasm.After that an
awkward silence ensued and I wished he would do more,maybe even kiss me but
after seeing nothing remotely romantic happening I asked to leave.

Walking back home,I battled with thoughts in my head and emotions in my
heart.Was what I did wrong?I know I used to tell myself sex wasn't wrong if
done with love but I felt no love for Tony.I was in lust with him that's
for sure,and what we did was consensual I wasn't forced into it.How I
wished it was Frank who was my first sexual encounter,but I sucked it
up."Don't be foolish,take what you get Riley"I told myself."Maybe Tony will
love you someday and it would be easy for you to love him".But inside I
knew this was not true.