Date: Fri, 09 Aug 2002 12:27:45 -0700
From: Steve Thomas <s4d@hotmail.com>
Subject: My brother - My Idol

Warning:  This is a partial work of fiction.  Any resemblance to any persons
living or dead is purely intentional.  If you are here illegally or are too
young, then shame on you or shame on your parents, for allowing you to come
here and put you at risk!  But if you insist on staying, you have probably
been to much worse places.  So just read and enjoy.  Just don't blame me if
sometime you make contact with some scumbag who charms you into a meeting
and kills you or ruins your life!

I am not promoting brother sex.  I am only reporting what I have fantasized
about my own brother, whom I love with all my heart, and it goes both ways.

Hi!  My name is Steve Thomas.  This is a fictional story, but it is my own
character, and is based on my love for my brother Bob.  It is a fantasy of
how things might have been.  Bobby really is 3 1/2 years older, and we both
really did idolize the other.  Most of what you read up until we become
teens will be true,  After that - anything goes!  As with my other story
posted on Nifty, (Colins-Story, in the college section) I am not planning
this.  I let my mind wander where it will, and sometimes it surprises even
me!  After the pre-teens, I will take it wherever my mind happens to go the
day I am writing.  Maybe you will get a glimpse into my inner thoughts as
you read.  Hope you enjoy!  I don't mean to offend anyone, but if you are,
you can choose to stop reading.  If you're offended, but you can't stop,
maybe you should look at your own desires, huh?  I will call my character -
(here's an original!) Thomas Stephens!

My Brother - My Idol

Hi, my name is Tommy Stephens.  I want to tell someone about my love and
relationship with big brother, Bobby.  Bobby was born 3 1/2 years before I
was.  We have an older brother, Art, but he is 9 years older than I so we
were never that close, as I was growing up.  We are now, but that is another
story.

Bobby, being a middle child, was always of the impression that he somehow
was second rate.  I don't think that my parents felt that way, but like a
self-fulfilling prophesy, his actions often got him in trouble, so mom and
dad were more often at odds with him than with Art or me.

The strange thing about this is this: in most situations such as this, the
older brother, especially a middle child, will have nothing but scorn and
intimidation for the younger sibling which is, in his estimation, the cause
of his misery.  That was not the case with Bobby.  I don't know all the
reasons, but maybe a short (I will TRY to make it short!) explanation of our
history would help.

My dad, Art Senior, came from a very disjointed family.  Everyone sort of
did his or her own thing.  He was the youngest of 4 children, two boys and
two girls.  His brother, Jack,  was old enough than he that he did not
connect until they were much older.  His dad was not home very often, and
although they came from a wealthy family, and Uncle Jack cold remember
better times, he lost everything long before the Great Depression, in a
lawsuit where an employee was killed in a fire at the company he owned.  He
had let his insurance lapse, and lost it all.  And back then it was
considered immoral to claim bankruptcy, unless you were very rich, and as
always, even back then, the very rich could get away with anything.

So dad grew up in the streets.  He never learned the importance of loving
his own sone through any example from his dad.

Mom, on the other hand grew up in a very wealthy family.  Even all the way
through the depression, her father was rich.  He knew how to take care of
himself.  And his self was his major concern.  He had 5 daughters and 2
sons.  He sexually molested every daughter, except my mother.  I asked my
shrink once if that was possible,  or if she was in denial.  The counselor
told me that indeed, if she was a very strong personality, that my
grandfather may indeed have been afraid of her.  Because men who prey on
their own children are most often cowards, and when challenged, even by a
little child, will back down.  Well this was most certainly the case with my
mom and her dad.  Mom truly was a very strong personality.  But the shrink
also told me that it did not matter.  Even if he never touched her, the
damage was still done, almost as if he did!

My mom grew up with disdain for women, because she had a mother who knew
what was going on, a but did nothing to stop it.  My mom once called the
police when she walked in on him humping her closest sister, as a teen.
They came and took him to jail.  His attorneys AND HER MOTHER talked her
into dropping the charges.

Mom also of course had a very strong compulsion to dominate men.  Guess
what?  She had three boys and no girls!  So with my dad, she had 4 men to
dominate.

When she was first married, she picked a very young man to marry.  He was 17
and she was 19.  So it was easy for her to manipulate this teen-ager to her
will.  As Dad grew and matured, it was harder for her to get her way.  OH,
make no mistake she usually got her way, but it was just harder when he
matured.

As we grew up, she used every trick at her disposal to get us to do her
will.  First she tried love and flattery, then threats and violence, and if
nothing else worked, deceit was not foreign to her.  She could lie very
easily, to get her way.  Mom was very beautiful, so men outside the family
were no match for her as she charmed her way around them.

Okay so much for the background.  As long as I can remember, I was Bobby's
shadow.  He was very good at making friends, and was most often the ring
leader in the neighborhood, but my shadow-ness was HIS doing.  He loved me
with a love that is rare among brothers that age.  I never gave it much
thought until much later.  I took it for granted - well, because it was!

My mom and dad both taught us all to sing.  I was able to carry a harmony
part as early as 2 years old.  I was playing the ukulele as early as 4 years
old.  When I was in first grade, Bobby instigated a ukulele club, and I of
course was included.  We were actually let out of class to perform for the
other classes.  How cool was that!!??

When I was 3 or 4, and Bobby was 6 or 7, was our first homosexual
experience.  We were at the home of some of my parents' friends, the Wrens,
being babysat by brother Art and his friend, Bobby Wren.  So after Art and
Bobby Wren put us younger ones to bed, Bobby, Gary, Bobby Wren's brother,
and I were hiding in the closet, sucking each other off.  Bobby was 6 or 7,
Gary was 4 or 5 and I was 3 or 4!

That was my first taste of boy flesh, and I wanted more!  But more was not
to come until some years later.  Somewhere along the way, I learned how
sweet it was to wank my little dink.  Even with my small hands, I remember
that I had to grab it like a pencil between my  thumb and 2 fingers to be
able to jack it up and down.  By the time I was nine, I was doing it several
times a day.  And Bobby?  Well we did not talk of it, except whenever he did
it I would say, "Again??"  and he would giggle.

When I was nine, we moved to a new neighborhood.  I was sick as we were
moving, and did not start school directly.  I was home for two weeks.  There
was a very sweet little girl, 10 years old,  next door, and she came over as
soon as we moved in to welcome us to the neighborhood.  She found out I was
sick, and would bring me little activities to do.  So when I started school,
she was the only one I knew.  So naturally I was her friend at the new
school.  What I as a nine-year-old did not notice (and what nine-year-old
boy would?) was that she was filthy!  I got teased for being Sandy's
boyfriend.  That followed and haunted me for years.  I don't know why my mom
did not warn me.  Not only was Sandy physically dirty, but her mom, who ran
a hot dog stand on the streets of Los Angeles, brought home a new "daddy"
every few months.

Her mom was named Dolly, and she was!  She made herself up like a scary
doll every day as she headed off to work.  But I digress - one more time.

My dad was excellent at sports.  And maybe he showed my brothers how to play
sports, but when I was at the age to learn such things, he was building his
business, and never taught me anything.  I was the last one to be chosen for
every game at school.  I was teased incessantly for my inability to field a
ball or whatever was necessary to do well in whatever game we were playing.

After school, Bobby was my savoir.  He dragged me everywhere with him.  I
recent asked him why (I am now 58, and he is 61)  He said I was so damned
cute, and would do whatever he asked me to!  He said he idolized me!  What a
surprise!  I idolized HIM.  He was not bad looking, and was quite popular
with the other boys.  But I was always very cute.  Many times Mom would turn
away Hollywood talent scouts when they would come to our door to try to get
her to allow me to screen test. She understood Hollywood, and the damage it
could do to a young mind, and would not allow it.  The cuteness turned into
stunning good looks as I grew older, and I retained those looks over the
years.

After I learned that Sandy was not going to be good for me, I found Harry.
Harry lived 3 doors down, and we became fast friends.  I don't remember who
initiated it, but since I was somewhat experienced, I suppose it was me.
Whatever, we started a 3 - 4 year practice of playing with each other's
dinks and oral sex.  In the oral sex, it didn't occur to either of us to
bring each other to orgasm.  We just knew it felt good and did it as often
as we could.  Which was often, because his mom worked and we often had his
house to ourselves.

Harry's dad, Buddy, was a trumpet player in a famous big band.  When he was
home, he would almost always be in his white briefs, and they would be
pulled up as far as he could get them, and his ample package showed very
obviously with them stretched so tight.  It never occurred to me at the time
that he was doing that on purpose.

I had another friend down the street and around the corner, Steven, who I
also played around with when we would sleep over.  We even tried anal sex
once but did not know how, so all we did was put it up next to the crack and
hump.  Harry and Steven never, as far as I knew, ever did it together.

Then there was Gomer.  Gomer and I were not very close. He and I and Harry
and Steven were all in the same class, but we were not a group.  Anyway, one
day, I fell into step with Gomer, and as little boys will do, we got around
to talking about wanking.  We discovered that we both had the same question.
  What would happen if we kept on wanking when the "funny feeling" started.
Up until that time, ( I think we were about 11) we always stopped when the
orgasm just started, knowing what would happen.  We determined that we would
go to his house (his mom worked too) and would jack each other off until it
was all finished.  Pretty brave stuff for an 11 year-old.

After that, do you think you could have done anything to keep my hands out
of my crotch?  Of course I told Steven and Harry!  Our lived all changed for
the better!  But it was soon after that that I started to go through
puberty.  And it was not okay to be gay (it was called queer then - and not
in a nice way!).  So the pre-adolescent sex stopped.  I certainly did NOT
want it to, but it did.

I was all eyes when at 12 years old I started Jr. High.  I got to strip down
with all the other guys in the locker room, and shower with them naked.  I
loved that.  It never occurred to me to be shy about it, and I never worried
that I would woody up in the shower.  I remember once when one of the
biggest football players did and he was teased unmercifully!

When I was 13, in 8th grade, Bobby was 16 and in 11th.  He was always
setting me up with girls.  He would pass me off as his age, or maybe a year
younger.  I was 6'-1" tall by this time, and prematurely hairy, as well as
endowed down below, so I could carry it off.  Each night after we returned
from a date, (We double dated all the time) he would always be the first to
start wanking.  This is when I would say, "Again, Bobby?"  And he would
giggle.*  Up until that time, Bobby and I were never sexual with each other
after that one time when we were very young. This one particular night, he
giggled as usual and asked me, "Don't you ever do it?"

"Of course I do!"

"When?"

When you are, silly!"

He was so surprised! "Boy, I wish I had known that!" he said, "It would have
made it so much more fun!"

"Whu-at?"

"It would be so hot jacking off with another guy!"

*every bit of the foregoing is true up `til this point.  Here is where
fantasy will take over!

"Bobby, you mean you never have?"

"Hell no!  I'm not a queer!"

Uh, didn't you just say it would be hot to - ?"

"Okay, yeah, I did but -,"

"But?"

"Tommy, it is just not done!"

"I do it regularly."

"You do?" he said, quite astonished, "Who with?!"

"Think about it!"

"Oh!"  It finally dawned on him.  "With me!"

"And you are right!  It is hot!"

"Tommy, do you - er have you - er - do you want to, uh--?"

"Have I ever done it to someone else?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"What??!"

"I said, yeah!"

"I can't believe it!  Are you - are you - queer?"

"I don't think so.  I don't know.  Let me take a look.  Ummmmm, no, it
doesn't look like it."  I was bating my big brother!

"Then how - ?"

"Bobby?"

"What?"

"Would you like me to - do you?"

"Fuck no!  I'm no queer! "

"Who says only queers do it?"

"Well - ?" He sounded unsure.

"You know you want me too!"

"Fuck, little brother, this is so weird!"

"Is that a yes?"

"Shit!  Ummm,

I whispered, "Just say yes"

"YES!"

I was over in his bed in two seconds!  I wanted this so bad!  I pulled down
his pajama bottoms and he was hard again already. Bobby was about 3 inches
shorter than I and his dick was about an inch shorter than my 6 ".  It was
a little bigger in girth, and his balls were huge compared to the little
marbles I had.  I grabbed hold and started to pull it up and down slowly.
He closed his eyes and moaned softly.  As he became more agitated, I
increased my speed.  When his breath was coming in great gulps, I suddenly
stopped, but he kept gasping, and I knew I stopped too late.  As the first
of his cream started to come out, I bent over very quickly and caught most
of it in my mouth, and I pumped for all I was worth with my head.  He prolly
would have protested, but at that point, who would?  When all was over, he
said, "Damn, Tommy, where di you - have you been doing that with --?"

"Bobby, that was the first time I ever tasted jizz..  I have done it with
other guys but not since we started to jizz."

"Oh, Tommy, that was the most incredible thing that I ever felt!"

"So are you going to do me now?"

"I - I don't feel - I just can't now.  I don't know why."  I guess he could
see the deep disappointment in my face.  "I'm sorry, Tommy!  I promise I
will do you next.  Just not now"



The next night was Friday night.  Bobby had set me up with his date's little
sister.  This was a common occurrence.  When we got home from the date, very
late, and exhausted, Bobby was especially horny!  He wanted a repeat
performance of the night before.

I said, "Hey!  Wait a minute!  After last night, you think I am stupid,
don't you?!"

"Tommy, are you as horny as I am!?  Don't bother answering.  You couldn't
be!  You are not as old or as sexually developed as I am, so you couldn't
be!"

"And your point would be?"

"Tommy, I am desperate here!"

"Look, before last night, you never knew what it was like, and now you are
desperate?"

"But now I know!  You showed me!  It's your fault!"  He was kidding and
faux-whining now, and whimpering like a puppy.  I could not resist.  I did
him from start to finish.  When I was done, I looked up and he was asleep!
Ass hole!  I went back to my bed and went to sleep, a very disappointed
13-year-old boy.

I awoke with a start.  I looked over at the clock.  3:07 AM.  As I regained
some consciousness, I felt it, and the feeling grew.  It was dark, but I
knew it was Bobby down under my covers, sucking and blowing on my dick!  I
tensed up and strained with all I could muster, and I blew in about ten
seconds.  I was so hot, and so excited.  My first time with bobby!  And I
went so fast!  (Well this would be exciting to a 13 year-old!)  We did not
learn much later how good it is to prolong it until it was begged for.  For
that first time, it was the most intense orgasm I ever had!  And I was
half-asleep!  Damn I loved that boy!

After Bobby went off to college, I really missed our regular wank/suck
sessions.  When his semester was done, he came home for semester break.  One
of the first classes he had was "Human sexuality".  He said for the most
time, it was pretty disgusting.  It just was an expos of all the different
types of sex that anyone could have.  But he did learn a few things which
hwe said he was anxious to tell me about.

"What do you mean `tell me about'", I said.  "You had better be planning to
show me!!"

"I was hoping you would say that!"  I was in 10th grade by this time, and
though I reached my full height of 6'-1" [185 cm], by the 8th grade, the
length of my dick was still growing.  It was 7" now, and I hoped it was not
finished.  Bobby was absolutely astounded by it!  His did not grow a
millimeter!  But it was still bigger around than mine, and his balls, if it
were possible, were even bigger!  I was longer and about the same in girth
as in the 8th grade.  This was a good thing, as it turned out.

When Bobby went off to school, I got to replace our twin beds with a king.
So when he came home, we "had" to sleep together.  Too bad!!

He wasted no time in showing me some of what he learned..

First of all, he teased me to the limit, licking all around the head and
teasing my titties and what was left of my foreskin ( we are both cut).
After he got me fully worked up, he took me in earnest into his mouth and
did something I wouldn't have thought possible.  He shoved his head all the
way down to my pubes!  My dick went past his throat, and down his trachea.
Oh, it was not easy at first.  He bucked and gagged a lot, but he was
determined.  He saw it done on film, and just knew he could.  He finally was
able to overcome his gag reflex, and pump it up and down.  While he did
this, he squeezed my marble sized nuts, just the right amount.  As I started
to take air in great gasps, he inserted his finger up my butt!! I inhaled
extra big, and yelped, "What the hell are you doing?"  Somehow he got some
lube on his finger.

"Just go with it, Baby brother!"

"That's NASTY!"  I said.

Without taking his finger out, he said, "Tommy, Do you love me?"

"You know I do!"

"Do I love you?"

"yes."

"Would I do anything to hurt you?"

"no, but - "

"No buts allowed!  Just be still and let it happen little brother."  He
said, "I promise you will be glad you did."

"But have you - ?"

"Nope!  But I saw it on the film at school, and I HAVE done a little, shall
we say, personal experimentation?"  With that he stuck his finger in a
little more, and touched my prostate.

"Ah - Oh - GOD, Bobby, THAT feels  - uh - g - g - g - GREAT!"  I was having
trouble getting it out because he kept stroking it, and my body kept tensing
up and - well you know - or maybe you don't!  It felt like any minute I was
going to explode in the biggest avalanche of cum that I ever experienced,
but it just kept going - the feeling - but I didn't cum!

"How does that feel, little brother?"  He was directly over the top of me,
looking deep into my eyes.  All I could do to answer was to grab his head
and pull his lips down onto mine, and force my tongue into his eager mouth.

"What is that that you were feeling?   Omigosh it felt hot!"

"That was your prostate gland."

"What's that?"

It is a gland which is like a donut around the base of your dick inside you.
  It constricts and keeps the blood in to keep you hard."

"Is there more?"

Yes, but first - "

"Yeah?"

"First I want you to do that to me, K?"

"I - okay - but - won't I get - uh - shit - on my hand?"

"You might.  I didn't, but it could happen."

"Well, okay.  Here goes!"  And I started to stick my middle finger up his
butt.

"Wait!  You first need to get some of my precum or something on it to stick
it in."

"Your what?"

"Precum.  It is the stuff that comes out before you climax."

"Oh."  I wiped my finger across his dick.  It surprised me how much stuff
was there and he hadn't even cummed yet.  "WOW!  You got a lot already,
Bobby!"

"Look at yourself, baby!"

I looked.  There was a steady stream surging out of the end of my dick!  I
was so amazed.  I reached down and swiped some of it, as well, and then
started to put my finger in his bum.

"Oh Tommy!  It feels so much better when someone else is doing it!"

"Tell me about it!"

"Try two fingers."

I then rubbed some of the slippery cummy-shitty mixture on the second
finger, and it smelled real bad, but I was not about to stop now!  I kept
fingering his prostate, which I could just barely reach with two fingers.

"O God!  Tommy that is so amazing.  try three!"

So I did.  And it worked.  It was plenty tight, but as I worked it, it
relaxed and became looser. "Hows that feel, Bobby?"

"OMIGOSH!  Hey!"

"What?"

"I think you could actually put your dick in there."

"Ya think?"

"YEAH!!!"

"Ya think I wanna get it shitty?"

"Damn!  I don't have a condom!  Come on baby brother, it won't go inside.
If it does, you just pee it out when you're through."

"Uh, o - kay.  I'll try."  I would have done anything he asked me, the truth
be known!

I slowly and gently replaced my 3 fingers with my dick.  He tensed up just
as the head went in.  What a rush that was!  "Ouch!  Easy bro!  That's it.
Now slide out a little and just keep going a little deeper with each stroke.
  Yea-uh, that's -it.  Can you angle a little higher, so you could hit my -
ahhh!  You got it!  That's it!  Just keep pumping hard and faster, and try
to hit the prostate as much as possible.

I had to admit, as nasty as this was, it was the hottest thing I ever
imagined!  I got to the point of no return, and I noticed he was wanking
himself to my rhythm.  We came at exactly the same time!  I came inside him,
and he came all over our stomachs and chests.  When it was all finished, I
collapsed on top of him, cum and all.

You know what?  I really love my brother - a lot!