Date: Tue, 29 Apr 2014 17:22:26 -0400 (EDT)
From: iku_iku227@aol.com
Subject: My Brother | The Devil

My Brother| The Devil...

This is the story of a summer from my childhood, the last summer of my
childhood. I was 12. It was the early 2000's, and it a summer that I'll
never forget, a summer that revealed to me a whole new world of
experiences, a whole new view of the reality that life had waiting just
before me. This was the summer that I lost my innocence. The summer that I
met the Devil...

Growing up, I was obsessed with my big brother. I idolized him, like any
kid would their older sibling. But Kane, he wasn't the type of person you'd
want your kid to look up to. See Kane was 14 years older than me. My
parents had him when they were just teenagers themselves, barely out of
high school. So early on they had it rough. For much of Kane's childhood,
he had to watch our parents struggle and sometimes fail to make ends
meet. But by the time I was born, and Kane was a teenager, my parents were
way more stable and equipped to raise a family. But for Kane, the damage
had already been done. My brother had already experienced the harshness of
growing up in poverty, and he vowed that he'd do whatever it took, anything
he had to to make sure he never went through that again. And if that
anything was through a life of crime, then it was something he was more
than willing to do.

So by the time I was 10 years old, my brother had become one of the biggest
drug traffickers in the city, if not in the entire east coast. And his name
alone, struck a sense fear in even the toughest guys on the street. And it
seemed like everyone knew this except me. Everyone knew the Devil, except
for me. To me, Kane was always just my cool big brother, the one person
that I always looked up to, that I always wanted to be just like. I just
remember seeing him all the time looking so cool, with the fliest new
clothes, and cars, never the same one twice. Kane changed cars more than
most people changed their clothes. At the time though, I didn't know
exactly what he did, or how he made his money, all I knew was that he had a
lot of it, and with it came admiration and respect, and what I'd soon come
to find out, is that it also came with fear...

My parents on the other hand, weren't quite as naive as I was. They knew
exactly what Kane was into, and the type of lifestyle he lived. They knew
all that came with being apart of Kane's world, and they wanted me to have
nothing to do with it, or him. And they did everything in their power to
keep me away from my brother, to keep me away from the world of the
Devil. That was until not very long after my 10th birthday. I had always
known my dad had really bad asthma, but I never really knew just how bad it
was, until it killed him. My dad dying, it was hard on us all. It nearly
broke us. My brother and I were devastated. But that loss was way bigger
for my mom. She lost the only man she ever loved, literally the love of her
life, and more than that she lost the only ally she had in her battle to
keep me away from my brother, from the Devil and his influence.

Despite strong opposition from our mother, after our father's death, Kane
did everything he could to be there for us, to grieve with us, to support
us; but shy of giving up his entire lifestyle, our mother didn't care. No
matter what Kane did for us, it was always just short of being enough,
always just short of being right. My mom with such hurt and anger in her
heart from losing her husband, completely forbade me from ever seeing my
brother again. "You ain't nothing but the Devil. And the Devil ain't
welcomed in my house." She said to my brother at our father's wake. Then
she vowed to us both right then and there, in front of everyone, that she'd
do anything, whatever it took to keep us apart. And my mom always stuck to
her guns, she always stuck to her word. And whether my dad was here or not,
she was going to do her best to fulfill her promise. But I made every
effort to disobey her wishes. I loved my brother, and at 10 years old, with
my father dead and buried, I definitely needed a man in my life. I needed
someone there for me, someone there to teach me all the things a man needs
to know. And as great and as strong as my mom was, this wasn't a job for
her. She couldn't teach me anything a man needs to know. She couldn't teach
me how to talk to girls, or how to dress, tie a tie, or even shave. She
couldn't teach me how to be a man, but Kane could, and he wanted to, if
only she would let him.

At first, behind our mother's back, Kane would catch up to me when I was
outside somewhere playing football or something with my friends. He'd
usually give me a few dollars, or some new shoes, or a new video game or
something, and be on his way. Usually I would keep the money, it was a lot
easier to hide. But when my mom would find the other stuff, knowing who it
was from, she would make me throw it all out. Then at one point, usually
after school, Kane started coming by and asking if I wanted to go for a
ride. Usually we would just go to the closest fast food joint, grab a few
burgers, and catch up. He'd always make sure though to get me back home
before mom caught wind of it. She usually worked till about 6, so we had
plenty of time to hang out and talk brother shit, before I had to be
home. "Don't let Ma know you was with me, alright. I don't want you getting
in no trouble." Kane would always say to me, when he dropped me back off at
home.

During our little visits, my brother always made sure to ask how mom was
doing. That's how great he was. Despite all the hate she seemed to have for
him, Kane still cared enough to make sure his mom was okay. He cared and
loved her enough, that for if he couldn't do anything else, he worried
about her. Afterall, we were all still grieving.

Our secret visits, they went on for a while. I was pretty much still blind
to Kane's lifestyle and how he made a living. But I got to spend time and
hang out with my brother and that's all that mattered. But pretty soon
though, everything was gonna come out. All of Kane's secrets, everything
about his lifestyle, the way he lived, why he was the Devil, it was all
going to come out and be revealed to me sooner than I could have ever
imagined.

++++++

By this time, I was 12. It was summertime, and I was staying with my
grandmother on the other side of town. My mother had since found out about
my and Kane's visits, and she didn't trust me to stay away from him while I
was home during the summer. So to make sure I stayed away, she sent me to
my grandmother's. But what my mom didn't know, was that our grandmother
loved and understood Kane probably more than I did. And when he needed to,
granny had no problem giving her eldest grandbaby a room to lay his
head. So now, for the first time since I was a baby, my brother and I sort
of lived together, under the same roof, and in the same room. I found the
more comfortable, laid back, home version of my brother to be even more
cool and interesting than I thought, and more intense to say the least.

In the room that my brother and I shared at our grandmother's house, there
was only one bed, so we had to share that too. I didn't really mind it at
all though. The bed was big enough and to me it made it feel more like we
were actually real brothers now. Besides, Kane only stayed there maybe two
or three days out of the week. And I think that was only for my
benefit. The rest of the time, I didn't know where he was, but every time
he left he'd always say, "I gotta go take care of some business little
man. I'll be back later." His later was always at least a week later, but
he always came back. And I was always more than glad to see him.

The Night I Met The Devil...

One night, I was woken up by the sound of movement in the room. I sat up
and wiped the sleep from my eyes. Then I tried to adjust them to the
darkness of the room, but it was so dark I barely could. The only thing I
could see for sure, was that someone else was there with me. Nervously, I
turned the lights on. It was Kane. I was relieved. He was pacing back and
forth in the corner mumbling something to himself. He was so stuck in his
trance that he didn't even notice that I was woke, or that the lights were
on. Hell, he acted as if he didn't even know I was there."Hey Kane, what
you doing?" I asked.

He finally noticed me. He stopped in his tracks and threw his eyes straight
in my direction. He was staring at me so hard, really hard, like a deer
caught in headlights. Then he spoke. "Oh nothing little man. I'm...I'm
just... What...What's up man?" He spoke to me in a frantic tone, stumbling
over his words.

Then I noticed the blood all over his hands and clothes. "Yo Kane. You're
bleeding." I said, fearing the worst.

He padded his body down, as to look for a wound, leaving bloody hand prints
all over his clothes. Not finding anything, in the calmest, most assured
voice he said to me, "Oh. I'm good. Its not mine." Then he chuckled a
little, and threw a sick looking smile my way, and just as quickly he was
back to his pacing.

After that, I was completely confused. I didn't know what was going on. I
didn't understand what I was witnessing. All I knew was that I had never
seen my brother this way before. I had never seen Kane act so weird, so
crazy. I knew something had to be wrong. There were a thousand questions
swirling around in my head. All the blood, where did it come from? He said
it wasn't his, so whose was it? Was there an accident? Did somebody get
hurt? Did he hurt them? ... Did he kill them? All these question, I needed
answers to, but I was way too scared to ask. I just sat there in bed quiet
as Kane paced back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Then out of
nowhere he snapped back to life. He ran across the room to the closet and
pulled out a large black trash bag. Then franticly, he started pulling off
all his bloody clothes, including his shoes and underwear, and throwing
them all into the bag. I was so scared. I was completely taken aback. It
was the first time I had ever seen my much older, adult brother naked. But
my mind, crippled with fear, wouldn't allow me to take it all in. The
bloody clothes, and the manic way that Kane was acting, not to mention the
fear of what he would do next, was all I could think of. He tied a knot in
the bag and then threw it in the corner. Then he left and went into the
bathroom...

Once Kane was out of the room and I heard the shower running, I got out of
bed to investigate. I tip toed over to the bag in the corner, but I was way
too scared to touch it. Then I made my way over to the bathroom door, which
Kane had left open. I peeked in and saw that the sink was stained with the
blood that he had obviously washed from his hands. Then I was even more
shocked at what I saw next. Sitting there on the back of the toilet was a
gun. It was big, and silver, with a black handle, and there was blood on it
too. I had never seen a real gun before, so in my childhood curiosity I
reached for it. Just then suddenly, Kane stepped out of the shower. "What
the fuck are you doing. Get the fuck away from that." He yelled at me with
an authoritative base in his voice. The real fear inside me grew, as I
stood there in shock, staring at my wet, naked brother, then back at the
gun again. "Get the fuck out of here", he shouted. I snapped out of my
shock and ran back to the bed as quick as I could, as quickly as my feet
would allow me. Then I buried my head under the covers and pretended to
sleep.

Minutes later, I hear Kane walk back into the room. His wet feet slapping
hard against the wooden floors. Then the lights went out. My fear rose even
higher. My heart was beating through my chest like a base drum. Then my
brother climbed into the bed with me and under the covers. In my fear I
turned my back to him. But then he leaned in to me, his body still wet and
naked. I could feel his oh so huge man sized dick resting against the back
of my thigh. The feeling was so odd, yet electric. My twelve year old dick
quickly sprang to attention. Then he threw his wet arm over me, and gave me
a little squeeze. "I'm sorry man, but I don't ever want you touching no
gun", he said to me, with his lips nearly touching my ear. Then he gave me
another, much more tighter squeeze. "I love you man. I love you so much. I
don't ever want to hurt you", he said to me.

I was confused. Kane had never talked like that before. Every word he said
to me had just an air of sadness in it. Like at any moment he was gonna
cry. And I could definitely smell the liquor on his breathe. Then he went
on. "You don't know how much I love you man. I don't want you to die", he
said, with his arm still wrapped around me. Then he started pulling me in
closer to him. I could feel the wet hairiness of his body, as my naked,
shirtless back was being drawn into his chest. Then his hands, as they
clinched a tight hold on me. "I love you man, so much. I can never hurt
you. I wont." Kane continued on as he held on to me, now with his nails
digging deep into my flesh.

"But you are hurting me Kane. Let go." I mumbled. Then he loosened his
grip, but he didn't let go.

"I love you too much to ever let you go." he said, as he started rubbing my
chest.

I didn't know what to feel. I didn't know how to react, how to
respond. Confusion is the only word I can think to describe the state I was
in. I mean, I loved my brother, I did. But everything that was happening
was scaring the hell out of me. It was all way too surreal for me, too
intense. I had too many questions I needed answers to, before I could make
up my mind on how I really felt. There were too many thoughts whirling
around in my head, way too many questions. So, I just laid there thinking,
wondering, questioning, fearing and feeling other things for my brother
that I had never felt before. "What the hell was happening to me?..." I
thought.

"That bitch think she can keep us apart." My brother said as he continued
to explore my young chest and lower. "She think she can take you away from
me. You the only family I got. Naw, she ain't taking you away from me. I
showed her that." Kane said with his lips now touching my neck, my
shoulders, my back. He was holding me ever closer, ever tighter now. And
his hands were moving even lower.

"What are you talking about Kane? Who is gonna take me away?" I asked not
sure what I was more scared of: Kane, his hands, or his words. "Kane I'm
not going nowhere." I said as my brother's hands went even lower.

"Man I love you way too much to ever let you go." The last words Kane said,
before his hands were in my shorts.

I held my breath, as he grabbed hold of my dick. "I love you man", he said
, as he started stroking me. It was all I could do to catch my breath
between the moans. His hands felt so good, so big, so warm, wrapped around
my dick. The room was already hot, and his skin touching mine was only
making it even hotter.

"It feels so good Kane. Don't stop." I managed to squeeze out between
taking a breath and a moan.

"I know man. I know." He whispered back to me as his hand started speeding
up on its stroke. Then suddenly my shorts were gone, and I could feel the
instant heat of my brother's thick hard meat, as it slid between my
ass. The feel of a man's dick in my ass was amazing. The feeling of my
brother's dick was instantly orgasmic. I never came so hard then in my
brother's hand. "Man I love you. I love you so much bro." Kane kept saying
to me as he slid his dick up and down my ass. He never actually put it in
me. He was more than adamant about that, he didn't want to hurt me. But he
humped the shit out of my ass, until we both laid there in a pool of
sweat. Then he reached his hand up, grabbing my throat tight, as he shot
his load up my back. The tightness of his hand on my neck, and the warm,
yet almost refreshing feeling of his cum on my back, had my little dick
shooting another load.

"Man I love you Kane." I said as my brother pulled me back tight into his
strong arms, and held me.

"I ain't never letting nobody take you away from me. Never." Kane said,
kissing me on the back of my neck. Then he just held me, as we both fell
asleep.

The Morning After...

The next morning, when I woke up, Kane, the bag, and the gun was already
gone. I walked into the bathroom, and pissed my morning wood away. I then
surveyed the room, which was spotless. Taking my time, I slowly ran my
fingers across the spots where I had saw the blood the night before, but
the blood was gone now too. Then I held my hand over the spot where the gun
was. It felt eerily cold. Then I imagined the weapon in my hand, feeling
the weight of it. I had always heard that guns were really heavy. I
wondered if it was true. I thought maybe, the next time I see Kane, I'll
ask him. Then I got into the shower.

As I stood there under the steady flow of perfectly warmed water, I
pictured myself as my brother, washing the blood off my naked body. Feeling
the wetness of the water and the blood on my skin. Then I recalled the
night before. His hands on my body. The way it felt when our skins were
touching. The way Kane made me feel when I was in his arms. Thinking about
my brother, it wasn't long at all before my morning wood returned. Then as
my hands slowly drifted lower to my adolescent dick, I was me again. Then I
performed my daily preteen ritual off draining the contents of my balls. I
had just started jacking off, maybe the year before, and had learned to
take advantage of the privacy a shower can give a young man with such
desires. I wondered if Kane did the same when he was my age. I wondered if
he did it last night when he was here in this very shower. From then on, I
knew that I'd wonder a lot about my brother, about Kane, about the Devil...

When I got out of the shower, I could hear a lot of commotion coming from
downstairs. Then back in my room, I looked out the window, and at least a
dozen police cars were lined in front of my grandmother's house. I thought
the worst, as I got dressed. But the reality of what was happening was well
beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Before I had even known what
had happened, something inside me told me that I'd never see Kane
again. Just then, the bedroom door flies open, and a cop walks in.

"Come with me son." He said to me, with one hand on the door knob, and the
other on his hip. I had to admit, I was nervous as hell. At first I thought
I was under arrest, but I knew I didn't do anything, and he didn't put any
cuffs on me. But I still didn't know what was going on though. And whatever
it was, I didn't want to make any worse, so I didn't protest, I didn't
object. I just went along with him.

The cop put his hand on my shoulder, as he led me through the
house. "What's going on?" I asked him, but he didn't say a word. Then he
led me down the stairs, where the house was full of cops. And as we stepped
outside there were even more. And they all just stared at me, but not one
of them said a word. Then across the street there was a cop car; and Kane
was sitting in the backseat. I called for him "Kane", but he couldn't hear
me. So I tried to run to the car, but the cop stopped me. I tried my best
to fight him and get to Kane, but he was too strong. So I just cried as the
cop held me in his arms. "Why can't I see my brother." I cried out. But the
cop didn't say a word. He just carried me to another car and put me in the
backseat.

Then as he closed the car door behind me, he said, "It's gonna be okay
little man." Then he walked away. And I sat there, in the backseat, still
not knowing what was going on. Kane across the street in another car, and
my grandmother's house filled with cops. I didn't know if I was angry, or
scared, or what. But I just sat there and held my head down and cried for
the unknown, for the possibility of what had happened.

Then something told me to look up. And I did. I looked up and across the
street for Kane, and he saw me. Again I yelled out for him. And this time
he must have saw me, or heard me, or something; but still he didn't say a
word. He just smiled at me. That same smile he gave me the night
before. That same sick smile he gave me when he was standing there in my
bedroom covered in blood. He just smiled at me with the deadest eyes I'd
ever seen. And I just knew. I knew that I was staring the Devil right in
the eye. Then the car pulled off and I never saw Kane again.

Hours later, I was taken to the police station and put into a room. It had
been a whole day, and still I hadn't been told what had happened, what Kane
had done. Then finally, that same cop that put me in the car earlier,
walked in and explained it all. He told me that before Kane came to my
room, he went to see our mother first. That he was drunk, and high and got
into an argument with her, apparently all about me. All about whether or
not she could keep me away from him. And apparently Kane didn't get his
way. She didn't tell him what he wanted to hear. The cop told me, that my
mom told Kane that at the end of the summer she was moving me away and that
for sure he was never gonna see me again. And Kane, he didn't like that. He
didn't take that well at all. And between the alcohol and the drugs, he was
out of his mind. And he just pulled his gun out, and he shot her. He shot
our mom right in the heart and he killed her; and all because of me...

And I just sat there, listening, barely breathing, barely even there, as
the cop sat across from me, and told me all these things about my
brother. All these crazy things that he had done, that he was accused
of. And not just killing our mother, but a lot of other things too. And I
couldn't help but think, as I listened to the cop, he did it for me. He did
it all for me. He killed for me. He became the devil for me.

And then I realized, my brother wasn't the Devil at all. He was just a
man. He was just Kane, my brother, and he loved me. And sitting there
across from the cop, I realized that if I was Kane, I would have done it
too. And I just laughed. I laughed right in the cop's face, because I knew
that if Kane was the Devil, then what did that make me? What did it make
me, if I loved Kane? What did it make me if I still loved my
brother?... THE DEVIL.

MY BROTHER | THE DEVIL...



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