Date: Mon, 5 Jan 2004 18:58:47 -0800 (PST)
From: Jeremy Benner <jeremy0579@yahoo.com>
Subject: My Brother's Affiliation- Chapter 9-10

TEASER: "Ian was moaning with me and clawing at my back... I breathed
heavily against his ear and whimpered a little as I felt myself slipping
further and further into the sweet abyss that filled me with bliss and
ecstasy."


This part of the story includes: kissing, fingering, cocksucking, rimming,
anal sex

______________________________


I slipped my shirt off over my head and pulled my shorts and boxers down as
I waited in my room for Ian to come back with his lube. I'd be lying if I
said I wasn't nervous and apprehensive about what was about to happen. I've
never been with a guy... like that before. Fucking Ian is different from
just sucking his dick or fingering his ass. It's extremely different as a
matter of fact! It wouldn't be such a big deal if for 1 I didn't care about
him 2 he wasn't a guy and 3 I had fucked a guy before.

Ian came back with the bottle of lube and placed it on my nightstand before
lying down beside me and asking, "So, you really want to?"

"Yeah, I do."

After I said this, Ian got up on his knees and before I knew it he was
between my legs ready to suck my dick. I guess he was nervous too because
he was jumpy and acting anxious. He grabbed my dick and held it for awhile
before he bent down and took my dickhead into his mouth. Ian sucked my
crown gently and swirled his tongue around while he lightly jacked my shaft
with his thumb and forefinger. Even though I didn't feel comfortable, it
didn't take me long to get fully erect again. As I got progressively
harder, Ian began to take more of my dick into his mouth.

I sighed out and spread my legs more as my brother went 'round and 'round
on my pole. His lips were tight around my erection; his mouth was so warm
and soft. Just as I was getting into it, Ian pulled his mouth from my cock
and lifted up. He sat back on his knees and looked down at my throbbing
manhood with an expression that showed he was pleased with himself.

I sat up and moved forward to kiss my brother. Our lips met and we kissed
sweetly and gently at first, mostly because we both felt awkward because we
knew what we were about to do, then Ian put his hand on my shoulders and
began kissing me harder. This turned me on more, so I began kissing him
more passionately. My hands rested on his hips and lower back, and we
moaned into each other's mouths as our tongues fought with one another. Ian
pushed me down against my bed, and he kissed me furiously as he rested his
body on top of mine. I gripped his back and pressed him hard against me as
my lips and tongue went crazy on his. I didn't want to stop kissing him,
his tongue was so soft yet aggressive and demanding, it drove me crazy, but
I wanted more. I suddenly forgot why I had been nervous in the first
place. All I wanted was to be as close to my brother as I possibly could
be. If he wanted my dick he was going to get it.

I started to roll Ian to his side. He complied and began turning over onto
his back. I was now on top of him and kissing him as deeply and powerfully
as I could. Ian groaned into my mouth and clutched my back. This drove me
over the edge. I had to have him! I lifted off of his lips and stared into
his face. He looked as lost and overcome with pleasure as I was, which
caused my heart to leap with excitement and anticipation.

"You really want me to fuck you?" I asked breathlessly

"Yeah," Ian breathed and spread his legs under me, "You want to right?"

"Yes. I don't want to hurt you though."

"It'll be ok, but go slow. Don't ram it in or anything. Just slowly."

I nodded and sat up. I got on my knees between Ian's legs, and he
immediately grabbed his thighs and brought them to his chest to expose his
asshole. I felt his eyes on me as I looked down at his tight rosebud. I
brought a finger to his hole and rubbed at it gently but firmly.

"God, you're tight..." I stated as I poked and caressed his asshole with my
pointer finger.

"It'll be ok," Ian said, but he didn't sound sure.

I moved down my bed then leaned forward so that I was inches from Ian's
butthole. I put my hands on his cheeks then dove in and began lightly
lapping at his pucker with the tip of my tongue. I moaned on my brother's
wrinkle and began licking it harder as I felt it quivering and contacting
against my tongue. Ian wasn't moaning or saying anything, but I knew he
liked what I was doing. I loved when he made noise though, so I spread his
hole with my fingers and started to lick harder and faster.

"Auugh," Ian said quietly and fidgeted underneath me

I looked up at my brother as I teased his butthole with my tongue. His head
was raised and he looked back at me with distant eyes. I stiffened my
tongue and tried to slip it inside of Ian and to my surprise a good portion
of my muscle slid into him. I guess he wasn't as tight as I thought. Once
my tongue was as deep inside of him as it would go, I wiggled it around and
stared at my brother to see his response.

I smiled as I watched Ian's eyelids narrow and his lips part. One quick
breath escaped from his lungs as I buried my tongue inside of him, and he
gripped his thighs tighter to his chest. It was weird feeling his hot hole
squeeze around my tongue, but I'd be lying if I said the feeling didn't
make my dick jump.

Without hesitation I began fucking Ian with my tongue, slowly darting it in
and out of his butt. As I did this Ian's head fell back against my pillow
and he whimpered softly. This encouraged me to move my tongue in and out
faster, so I bobbed my head and began fucking Ian's ass more
vigorously. Ian grabbed his cock and started to flog his meat while I
pleasured his asshole with my tongue. I thought about stopping him with my
hand, but I decided that when I fucked him I wanted him as worked up and as
hard as I was.

"Mmm" I moaned and went back flicking my tongue all over my brother's
hole. As my tongue twisted and turned all over his pucker, I sucked and
kissed it sweetly with my soft lips.

Ian was whimpering and grunting and writhing under my lips, and I knew he
was ready and wanting my cock but I loved licking his ass so I didn't
stop. My mouth made out with his wrinkle, and it trembled on my lips and
tongue in response.

When I heard that sexy smacking sound indicating that my brother was
precumming all over his cock, I removed my lips from his ass and sat back
on my knees. I didn't want him to cum. I didn't even want him close to
cuming.

"Feel good?" I asked, but I knew the answer

Ian just smiled and looked up at me with lustrous, horny eyes. He stopped
stroking his cock and relaxed back against my bed, still holding his thighs
back to his chest. I got out from under my knees and sat so that my ass was
on my bed and my legs were extended out to make a V. Ian and I stared at
each other as I sucked my finger into my warm mouth and got it all wet with
my saliva. My eyes then focused on my brother's tight rosebud while I slid
my wet finger up and down over it. Gently at first then with more vigor but
not enough to force my finger inside. I enjoyed teasing it and feeling it;
It was such a personal, sensitive area. I got a rush just running my finger
over each line and wrinkle.

Without warning my brother, I added pressure against his aroused button and
slowly slipped my finger, up to the first knuckle, inside of his ass. I
heard Ian sigh, but I didn't look up at him. I stayed focused on his
butthole while I added even more pressure and slipped more of my finger
inside of him. I thought there would be more resistance because my finger
wasn't all that wet, but my digit slipped in easily. This encouraged me to
shove the entire length of my finger inside of him, so I did and Ian gasped
a little. I quickly looked up at his face, afraid that I had hurt him, but
when I saw that he was smiling a little and his eyes were closed I knew
that I had made him feel good.

I leaned down and spat onto Ian's asshole before slowly sliding my finger
out to the tip. My finger was sliding out so easily that I decided to
thrust it back in without any hesitation.

"Yeah, fuck it," Ian whispered

After hearing this, there was no stopping me. I rushed my finger in and out
of Ian as fast as I could, and my heart pounded harder each time I felt my
brother's butthole squeeze and tremble around my digit. I reached down and
jerked my aching dick, but I stayed focused on fingering my brothers' tight
little ass even while I pleasured my cock.

Without warning my brother, I slide my index finger out to the tip then
brought my middle finger up to his ass. I then spat on his ass and my
fingers before I plunged the two digits into him. Ian arched his back a
little and dug his nails into his thighs as I began to fuck him with my
fingers. I didn't even go slowly, I didn't get the impression from Ian that
I was hurting him, so I didn't hesitate to shove my fingers in and out of
him as fast as I could. His asshole was gripping my fingers so tight and it
felt so warm, my cock trembled with anticipation. I wanted to fill my
brothers' hole with my meat so so badly but I also wanted to tease him and
get him as loose as I could so that I wouldn't hurt him.

My eyes involuntarily looked up at my brother, and I was shocked and
surprised by how he looked. His head was turned to the side and his eyes
were open but he was expressionless. I could tell he was in ecstasy by how
his eyes kept fluttering and the simple way he bit the tip of his tongue
that poked through his sweet lips. He wasn't moaning or groaning or making
any noises as I fucked him nice and fast, but in a way it was almost sexier
that he was silent. His face spoke to me and let me know that he was
enjoying my fingers. He looked distant and peaceful and it turned me on
even more because I knew he was focusing on the feelings that were rushing
through his body.

"Ok...I want you to...," Ian said softly and slowly turned his head so that
he was looking at me.

I leisurely slid my fingers from his ass then rubbed and petted the area
for awhile before I leaned forward and grabbed the lube off of my
nightstand. As I poured a nice amount of the "Slip 'N Slide" all over Ian's
ass, Ian smiled and told me it was cold. I rubbed the liquid all over his
asshole before I dripped some lube onto my cock. Ian and I didn't speak as
I massaged the oil into my manhood, but I knew what he was thinking. I'm
pretty well endowed, so we were both worried that my seven and a half
inches might be too much.

When Ian saw that my dick was lubed, he held his thighs back to his chest
again and waited for my cock. I got up on my knees and stared down at my
brothers' gleaming butthole for a bit before I positioned myself between
his legs. Ian looked down over his cock and balls and watched as I took my
dick into my hand and aimed it for his hole. I slowly eased forward and
held my breath as the head of my dick entered my brother. Ian didn't make a
sound when my dickhead penetrated him; I didn't know how he was handling it
because I couldn't bring myself to look at his face. My eyes stayed focused
on my cock as I continued to push forward. Another couple of inches slipped
inside of him, and I heard Ian groan.

"Hurts?" I asked, looking up at him

"Yeah," he laughed a little as he said this, "But keep going."

I leaned forward and rested my free hand against my mattress before I
progressed to ease more of my meat into my brother. Ian continued to grunt
and groan as inch after inch of my dick slipped inside of him, but he
didn't tell me to stop so I kept pushing forward. It was weird because
there was resistance when I pushed into him but at the same time my cock
easily slid in. I guess I expected something different. I thought I'd have
to force my cock into him, slowly though of course, but I wasn't really
forcing myself in. Ian's ass seemed to grab at my dick and lure it in, but
like I said, at the same time I could feel that his asshole was very tight
and inexperienced.

"Ugh, God, wait wait," Ian groaned

I stopped right where I was and looked up at my brother

"Jesus, this isn't feeling that great," Ian said, but he was laughing so I
didn't really know how to respond, "It doesn't really hurt... it's just
uncomfortable as hell."

"Wanna stop?"

"No... just gimmie a second. I didn't think it'd feel like this."

"How does it feel?"

"I feel full and stretched. It's just weird and uncomfortable."

All of a sudden I felt Ian's ass tightly clutch my cock, and I
instinctively moaned to the feeling. I was so hard and turned on and Ian's
asshole was so warm and tight; I couldn't help but express my pleasure even
though I knew Ian wasn't experiencing the same satisfaction that I
was. There was a side of me that wanted to just fuck the shit out of his
ass and completely disregard the fact that he couldn't handle such abuse
just yet. Of course I could never do that, but if my mind listened to my
dick there would be no stopping me.

"Ok," Ian whispered and shuffled around under me

I began to push forward, and Ian started grunting again. It was really a
huge turn off to be honest because I knew he wasn't enjoying it. Frankly I
just wanted to pull out of him and jerk off until I sprayed my seed all
over his stomach.

After the entire length of my cock was inside of my brother, I leaned
forward so that I was hovering over him and rested my hands against the
mattress. I looked down at Ian's face, and I immediately felt sad and upset
because he didn't look comfortable at all.

"Lets just stop," I suggested

"No, I'm ok. It's just weird. I thought it'd feel totally different."

I frowned

Ian put his arms on my sides and rubbed my skin as he said, "Don't take it
out. I want you inside of me. Really."

When I heard this, my dick twitched happily inside of him. However, I still
wasn't sure if I wanted to continue, but I reluctantly began to slowly
slide my cock out of my brother. God, his asshole felt so good gripping my
shaft and caressing my tender head! It was hard to go slow. I wanted to
pummel him! I wanted the two of us to cry out in ecstasy together as I
fucked him.

As I leisurely pulled my dick out to the tip, Ian winced a little and
grunted softly. When I had fucked Megan for the first time, she cried and
kept telling me it hurt too much. I remember how upset I was with her
because she was ruining the mood. It never occurred to me take my dick out
of her. That was, of course, out of the question. I had taken her out and
paid for everything for two weeks straight, so we sure as hell were going
to have sex. But with Ian, I didn't want to fuck him if he wasn't enjoying
it.

Ian's grunting and wincing continued for a bit more as my cock slowly slid
in and out of him. But after awhile he stopped wincing and grunting and
became dead silent. I actually didn't notice he had stopped making noise
until he started back up again. I began fucking Ian just a tad bit faster
when I felt his ass loosening up and getting use to my size, and he gripped
my waist and moaned gently.

"Too fast?" I asked

Ian shook his head no.

I kept up the speed and before I knew it my dick was sliding in and out of
my brother at a smooth steady pace. Ian was quiet again, but he looked calm
and relaxed now, finally. He actually looked like he was kind of enjoying
it.

Ian pressed his thighs together, squeezing my body between his legs. This
caused me to reflexively open my eyes and look down at his face. Until then
I hadn't really looked at him. I mean REALLY looked. And when I laid my
eyes on his gentle face as I hovered over him with my cock buried deep
inside of his tight ass, I realized that I didn't want to fuck him. I
wanted to make love to him. I wanted to share my body with him. I wanted
all of him. All that he could give me. The realization that I was as close
to my brother as I possibly could be, sent shivers up my spine and caused
my head to spin and my heart to race.

He was staring up at me and looking at my face closely. He had that
familiar lustrous, horny look on his face that made my skin tingle. And he
looked dazed and wrapped up in what he was feeling. I'm sure I had the same
expression on my face as I made love to him. Ian was experiencing what I
was experiencing: zillions of feelings and emotions that were almost
impossible to describe. It felt like the two of us were in our own private
world, moving together to craft all of these intense, blissful feelings.

My brother and I stared into each other's eyes as we made love. Every so
often Ian's eyes would slowly close and he'd moan very softly then force
them open and look back at me with his same lustful expression. I wanted to
say something to him. I wanted to tell him he was making me feel so good. I
wanted to tell him I loved being so close to him. I wanted to tell him I
never wanted to stop making love to him. But... at the same time I didn't
want to break the silence. I just wanted to stare at him and listen closely
to his light breathing while I studied his expression and tried to guess
what he was thinking. Ian must have agreed with me because he wasn't saying
anything either. We just stared at each other.

As I gazed at my brother, I became hornier and hornier. Ian's ass was
feeling warmer and tighter around my meat with every stroke I gave, and I
found myself beginning to thrust into him harder and faster as I felt him
becoming increasingly comfortable with my cock inside of him. In and
out. In and out. In and out. God, he felt so good. I couldn't believe what
we were doing, but I didn't want to stop. It was so amazing and so
unbelievably emotional!

As I speed up my pace and started to plunge into my brother in quicker,
deeper strokes, Ian started to moan softly. His eyes got glassy and glazed-
as they often do when I make him feel good- and he continued to grip my
body tight with his thighs. Seeing my brother like this turned me on so
much; I leaned down more so that my upper body rested on his and I began to
push into him harder while I held myself up with my forearms against my
bed. My face was now inches from his; I could feel his breath on my lips
and chin. It was so remarkable because as Ian and I made love I felt like
we were one person breathing, moving, and feeling everything together.

With me so close to him now, Ian wrapped his arms around my back and
grasped my skin in his hands as I moved my dick in and out of his ass. I
closed my eyes and bent my head down into the nape of Ian's neck. I
breathed heavily against his ear and whimpered a little as I felt myself
slipping further and further into the sweet abyss that filled me with bliss
and ecstasy.

"Ohhooh Brian," Ian whimpered into my ear and held me tighter in his arms.

Hearing this sent me over the edge. I couldn't contain myself! I gripped
the bed sheets in my fists and began to thrust into Ian's perfect, tight
ass even faster. From a distance I heard my balls slapping against his
ass. I moaned to the feeling rushing through my body and pressed my head
into my brother's soft hair when I felt him squeeze his legs around my
waist again. Every time he did that his asshole clasped tightly around my
manhood causing me to want to stop holding my orgasm back and just cum
hard.

"Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Yes yes yes!" Ian grunted as I swiftly moved my meat in and
out of him. He pressed his fingers deep into my skin and grazed his nails
down my hot flesh.

"Oh God Ian I love you so much!" I moaned

"Oh I love you. Augh I love you Brian!"

Ian continued to moan and scratch and grab at my back as I made love to him
and pleasured his butthole. I felt my balls churning and drawing up close
to my body and in a way I was unhappy because I knew after I came it was
over. I didn't want to stop making love to my brother. I didn't want to
ever stop.

"Oh baby I'm getting close!"

"Haugh yeah! Yeah! Cum inside of me!"

I lifted up so that I could look into my brother's eyes as I came. I wanted
to see him as I shot my load deep inside his ass. Ian looked so hot. His
face was contorted into a took of absolute rapture and when I laid my eyes
on him I couldn't hold back any longer.

"I'm gonna cum," I said softly with batted, uneven breath.

Ian moaned in response and clutched my body with his thighs again. His
doing this was the last and final push that I needed. I gave one concluding
thrust into my brother, burring my dick deep inside of him, and shot my
warm cum far into his asshole. I closed my eyes and before I knew it I was
on cloud nine and moaning loudly as jet after jet of cum spurted from my
spasming dick and into my brothers tight butt. I trembled and shook
uncontrollably as the waves of pleasure rippled through me.

"Oh fuck!" I moaned and grasped a handful of my comforter into my hands as
I quivered with pleasure.

Ian was moaning with me and clawing at my back again while I inseminated
him with my thick cum. After awhile my orgasm dwindled down to just a soft
buzzing sound in my ears and a gentle pulsing feeling against my
temple. When the last drop of my cum escaped through my piss-slit, I
collapsed atop my brother gasping and moaning softly like a little girl
would moan if her mother told her she couldn't have ice cream for
breakfast.

I don't know how long I laid on top of Ian with my flaccid dick inside of
him and his smooth, strong hands rubbing my back, but I wish we could have
stayed like that. Just holding each other, rubbing each other, and
breathing against one another's ear. Sometime later though, I slid off of
my brother and laid beside him on my stomach. I put my arm over his chest
and gazed into his deep blue eyes. I didn't feel uncomfortable or nervous
or anything like that. I felt calm and relaxed and content. I guess I could
have been uneasy since I had just told my little brother I loved him while
I made love to him, but I was happy and at ease.

I could have said a variety of things to Ian as I stared at him, but I
chose to say nothing at all. I just leaned down and planted my lips on
his. His arms enveloped me again, and we shared a soft, sweet kiss. When I
pulled my lips from his, his eyes were still closed and his lips still
parted. He looked angelic and so handsome. I rubbed the side of his face
and kissed his temple as I breathed in his scent.

"I can't believe we just did that," Ian said gently

"I know," I said quietly, brushing back the strands of hair that were
sticking to his forehead.

We didn't say anything else as we laid together, enjoying the closeness
between us and petting one another. After awhile I felt myself drifting off
to sleep, and I relaxed against my bed with my arm draped over my brother
and allowed myself to fall asleep. As my eyes closed and I felt my body
going limp with exhaustion, I heard Ian whisper, "I love you, Bry" and from
a distance I listened to myself say, "Love you too, Ian."
_________________________


Chapter 10


TEASER: "...He then tilted his head to the side and began licking over and
around my Adam's Apple for a long while, causing me to moan gently, before
sliding his tongue up my neck and stroking the tender skin up under my chin
with his soft, wet tongue."


This part of the story includes: no sex, kissing

_________________________

When I woke up, Ian wasn't beside me and my sheets and comforter were
covering my naked body. I laid motionless for awhile before I reluctantly
got up and slipped my boxers and T-shirt on. On cue Ian came in, fully
clothed and looking like he had just taken a shower and gotten ready to go
out or something.

"Hey," he said entering my room

"Hey, where are..." I responded groggily then my voice trailed off when I
heard Jessie's voice in the hallway. I couldn't understand what she was
saying, but I knew it was her. Her voice is annoyingly loud and high
pitched just like the obnoxious, relentless chirping bird outside my window
in the mornings.

"Hey Brian!" Jessie said, pushing through my door

I just smiled at her then looked at Ian and waited for him to explain what
was going on and why this girl was standing in my room, but Ian didn't say
anything. He just stared back at me with a look that told me he was nervous
and uncomfortable.

Jessie finally chimed in and said, "Did you just wake up? It's close to
9:30."

"Yeah... so what are you two up to?"

Ian opened his mouth to speak but Jessie cut him off and said, "We're
hangin' out. We're just gonna chill out here and order a pizza or
something."

I nodded then looked back at Ian. He stared at me for a few seconds then
looked over at Jessie. She looked back at us and smiled, not getting the
hint that we wanted to be alone, so Ian said, "Yeah, so, if you want some
pizza it'll be downstairs."

"Totally! You should chill with us," Jessie shrieked

Ugh! Why in hell is my brother attracted to loud, abhorrent girls?

"No thanks. I gotta get going," I lied

Jessie nodded and Ian just stared at me, trying to read my expression.

"So... you two have fun!" I smiled and walked past them, out of my room, to
the bathroom where I closed the door and leaned back against it. I breathed
in deeply and groaned as I exhaled. She's his girlfriend so I had no right
to be MAD at Ian... right? He has a right to be with her. But... why did he
have to be with her immediately after I make love to him and fall asleep
with him in my arms? Just HOURS after we were together in the most intimate
way possible?

I stripped out of my boxers and T-shirt and forced myself to stop thinking
about it as I got in the shower and let the water run over my body. As I
was soaping up my abs and chest, I heard the door to the bathroom slowly
close. I pulled back the shower curtain a little and my eyes focused on my
brother looking at me.

"Hey," I said simply then ducked my head back into the shower.

"Listen, Bry... this is what happened..."

"Ian, dude, you don't have to answer to me. Do what you want. She's your
girlfriend," I said nonchalantly, trying to hide how hurt I was.

"But I just want to tell you what happened because it's-"

"I mean, you wouldn't get upset with me if I just brought Megan over to
hang out, right? That's no big deal. Noting to get upset over. She's my
girlfriend, so I can do whatever I want to with her, you know? Same goes
for-"

Ian swiftly pushed back the shower curtain, silencing me, and stared at me
for a moment before saying, "Will you stop?"

I looked back at him and waited for him to speak.

"While you were sleeping, I simply called her to see how she was and she
invited herself over. I kept telling her now wasn't a good time but every
time she asked me why I didn't know what to tell her... I don't want her
here either, but I can't just tell her to leave."

"Ok."

"Are you mad?"

"No. I have no right to be mad. She's your girlfriend."

Ian just stared at me, waiting for me to say something else, but I just
told him again that I wasn't mad and slowly pulled back the shower
curtain. While I dipped my head back into the rush of water, I heard the
bathroom door slam closed and my heart sank.

____________________


As I walked past Ian and Jessie on the couch, cuddled up together watching
a movie, I felt physically ill. Ian looked up at me, and I said, "See ya."
very casually as I strolled by.

I hopped in my car and of course, drove over to Megan's house. She opened
the door and about jumped out of her skin when she saw me. I smiled and
hugged her then entered her house and followed her as she took my hand and
led me to her couch.

"I called you about 40 times! Why didn't you pick up?"

"My cell phone was on vibrate," I responded, which was true.

"Oh," she said and smiled as we sat down on her couch.

I smiled back at her and rubbed her hand in mine.

"Are you ok?" she asked

"Yeah, I'm just a little tired, but I wanted to see you."

She grinned and we were quiet for awhile. It suddenly occurred to me that I
was at my girlfriends' house, on her couch, holding her hand instead of
with Ian... the only person I wanted to be around anymore. As I thought
this, Megan moved closer to me on the couch and brought her lips to mine. I
closed my eyes as our lips touched and kissed her gently at first, like Ian
and I kiss, then I pried her lips apart with mine and slid my tongue into
her mouth. She put her hands on my shoulders and pressed her body against
mine as out tongues caressed one another. Her tongue was soft, her lips
full, and her perky, perfect breasts rested nicely against my chest, but I
wasn't getting turned on. My heart wasn't racing, and I felt no spark or
connection with her. I pulled my lips from her and bent my head down.

"What? What's the matter?" she asked quickly

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. I didn't know what to say to
her. I didn't know what to do. I felt sick and annoyed and upset and
sad... and detached.

"Brian... baby..."

"Nothing. I'm fine babe. I just... don't worry about it. I'm alright," I
lied, lifting my head and looking at her.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm sure."

I was determined. Maybe I wasn't trying hard enough. Maybe it was ME? I
wrapped my arms around her waist and moved forward to kiss her again. Our
tongues reunited and I kissed her deeply and passionately while I hugged
her close to me. She moaned and grabbed at my shoulders showing me that she
liked how I was kissing her, so I kept it up and vigorously stroked my
tongue against hers. She was kissing me just as passionately, and it felt
good, but it wasn't like with Ian. It wasn't mind-blowingly good! She
wasn't getting me hard or making me feel dizzy and flushed like he
does. She wasn't making me feel like I'd lose my mind if I didn't kiss all
over her body and ravage her. It was just kissing... just making
out... nothing more. I felt nothing for her.

Come on Brian, you're kissing a sexy, beautiful woman here. What's the
matter with you? Get into it!

I slid my hand up under her shirt and gripped her breast in my hand. Good,
no bra. Ok, that helps. I rubbed at her nipples and massaged her tit gently
while my tongue lashed out against hers. She was really getting into it and
moaning and grabbing at me. She had no idea that I wasn't even remotely
enjoying this. God, what has happened to me?

"Mmm, my parents aren't home," she whispered gently, pulling her lips from
mine and looking into my eyes with a horny, anxious expression on her face.

I just stared at her, speechless. I knew what she was insinuating and my
stomach turned because I also knew that I had to get away from this
situation. I had to end this. After being with Ian and experiencing how
you're supposed to feel when you kiss someone and touch them and make love
to them, there was no way I could still be with her if she didn't make me
feel that way. There was no way on Earth that would work.

"God, I'm so wet. I want you so bad," Megan moaned, clutching me in her
arms

I removed my hand from her shirt and rested back against her couch. I
looked at her sadly, and said, "Megan, I can't."

She just stared at me with a confused and embarrassed look on her face.

"I gotta go Meg. I can't do this."

"What is going on," she asked firmly

"I just can't. I'm sorry. This isn't working."

"What? What isn't working?"

"You and me. I..." my voice trailed off and I bent my head down

Usually when I break up with a girl it's not so sappy. I'm just like,
"Look, we're over." and that's that, but I couldn't do that to her. I'm not
THAT big of an ass.

"You're... breaking up with me?!"

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sending me mixed signals? What did I ever do to you?"

I didn't know what to say.

"I can't believe this!"

"Megan I am so sorry, I don't know what to say. I know I have been-"

"Just leave Brian."

"Megan, please, you have to know that I never wanted to hurt you. I never
ever wanted-"

"Leave right now!" Megan yelled, her voice cracking as she started to cry

I looked at her and immediately saw just how big of a shit I really was. I
slowly got up from her couch and walked to her front door. Before I let
myself out, I stopped at the door to shout at Megan that I was sorry. She
told me to fuck off and with that I left her house.

I didn't want to go home, but I didn't know where else to go. I didn't want
to see anyone. I didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to go to my
room, shut my door, and wallow in my self-pity.

When I got back home, Ian and Jessie were now still on the couch, cuddled
up together, watching some movie. I ignored them when they said, "Hey." and
just walked on past them. I went up to my room where I immediately laid
down on my bed and buried my face in my pillow. I moaned unhappily when I
smelled the scent on my brother and quickly threw my pillow across the
room. What has happened? I felt myself feeling more and more like shit and
before I knew it the tears came rolling down. I tightly closed my eyes to
stop from crying but this only made me cry more. I started to softly weep
and whimper against my mattress and as more and more tears streamed down my
cheeks, I got angrier and angrier. I hate crying! It's ridiculous! Men are
not meant to cry. That's just how it is. I have always believed that.

Ugh! Not only am I a dick who has no regard for other people, but I am a
dick who is in love with his baby brother. I'm a dick who is horribly
jealous that his brother is downstairs with his arms wrapped around his
girlfriend! What's happening to me? When did my life get so complicated?
Just last week all I was worried about was getting more ass from Megan and
tonight she wanted me to fuck her and I TURNED HER DOWN! And just hours ago
I had my dick buried deep inside of my brother while I moaned that I loved
him... which I do... in the worst more indescribable way. And where is he?
Downstairs, probably making out with his annoying girlfriend! I deserve
this. This is karma for being such a fucker all my life! An insensitive,
selfish, intolerable, fucker!

I tried to stop myself from crying but the tears wouldn't end. The
floodgates had swung open, and they weren't going to close until I was all
out of tears. I don't know how long I cried, but it seemed like I was
crying forever. My sheets were soaked and my eyes were puffy and red and
burning. I sniffled and wiped my eyes as I calmed down. I sat up on my bed
and leaned back against my headboard and just then my door opened and there
he was... great.

"Leave me alone, Ian," I said simply

Ian ignored my demand and progressed to close my door and come in.

"Seriously, I don't want to talk to you right now!"

He walked over to me and sat down on the edge of my bed, facing me. I
looked away from him; I didn't want him to see that my eyes were puffy and
red but I knew that he knew I had been crying. Ian put his hand on my leg,
but I immediately brushed it away. He then moved closer to me, and I could
feel his eyes on me as I sat there, inches from him.

"Brian..." Ian said softly

I still refused to look at him. I felt myself starting to cry again, but I
fought back the tears. I was NOT going to cry again. Fuck that.

Ian moved even closer to me and put his hands on my sides and tried to pull
me to him, but I pushed back. He then scooted even closer to me and I could
feel his body heat on my skin.

"I am so serious Ian, get the fuck away from me."

Ian acted as if I hadn't even said that and continued to struggle with
me. I pushed him away with my hands as he tried to hug me to him, and I got
more and more frustrated because he was relentless.

"Get the fuck away, Ian!"  I repeated, "Go be with Jessie!"

"Stop it. Jessie's gone. Brian! I don't want to be with her!"

Hearing this relaxed me, and I stopped fighting with him but I still
wouldn't look at him. I felt like a fool. I had acted like a child when
Jessie was here and I was still acting like a child. Ian could clearly see
that he had hurt me by being with her, but we both knew that I really had
no right to be angry with him. He is cheating on HER with me. Not the other
way around. But still... it was hard to see them together. I have always
been the jealous type.

I finally gave in and let him have is way with me. He wrapped his arms
around my shoulders and pulled me to him. It felt good being in his arms
again, and I closed my eyes. He massaged the back of my neck and whispered
to me that he was sorry that Jessie had come over. I felt like a child
being soothed by his mother, but I loved the embrace. I needed it, and Ian
knew it. I reluctantly wrapped my arms around him and hugged him close to
me. Ian kissed and sucked at the side of my neck as we held one another. I
felt myself calming down and my muscles easing.

Ian pulled back and stared into my eyes. He looked sweet and caring and
like he was genuinely worried about me. I felt embarrassed and like my
masculinity had been snatched from me, but I just sat there and surrendered
to the feelings.

"Please don't be mad at me," Ian said gently

"I'm not mad at you," I responded simply, "I have no right to be mad at
you."

"I'm not like you Brian... when Jessie came over I couldn't just tell her
to go away and make up some lame excuse. She'd be hurt. You're not passive
and submissive like I am... I didn't know what to do when she invited
herself over."

I looked down at my hands and said, "Yeah, you're not a good liar like me
or an insensitive person who doesn't care about hurting other people like I
am. You're a good person."

"No, I'm not. I'm no better than you are. Just look at what we're
doing. Jessie would fall apart if she knew I was having sex with TWO other
people, both of which are male and one is my fuckin' brother for Christ
sakes."

The way he said that made me chuckle a little. He laughed too and said,
"It's really not funny... I'm no better than you are. We're both cheating
on our girlfriends AND breaking the law."

I groaned, "Well, Megan and I broke up, so... I'm not cheating on anyone
anymore."

"What happened?"

"I really don't want to talk about it. It's over, that's all that
matters. It's over and she hates me and she has every right to, so
whatever."

Ian lifted my chin with his hand so that my face was up and I was looking
at him. He looked back at me with that same caring expression, and I
immediately felt better. But I didn't want to feel better. I didn't deserve
to feel better. A guy who hurts people because he thinks only of himself
deserves to feel as badly as the people he's hurting. I didn't deserve
someone like Ian who made me feel instantly better just by looking into my
eyes with an expression that showed he cared about me.

Ian leaned forward to kiss me, but I turned my head and looked down.

"I can't," I said gently

"Why?"

I didn't respond, so Ian put his hand on my hip and started to kiss and
suck at my neck. I closed my eyes and began to allow myself to submit to
him, but I felt as though I shouldn't be with him knowing that Megan was at
home at that very moment angry and hurt by what had happened between us.

"Ian stop, really, I can't do this right now," I whispered

He ignored me and began running his tongue all over the side of my neck
while he continued to kiss and suck at my sensitive skin. He then tilted
his head to the side and began licking over and around my Adam's Apple for
a long while, causing me to moan gently, before sliding his tongue up my
neck and stroking the tender skin up under my chin with his soft, wet
tongue. His lips and tongue felt so good on my skin; I couldn't resist him
any longer.

"You're so fuckin' stubborn," I said quietly

He just moaned. I grabbed his head in my hands and pulled his lips to mine,
and we both moaned and grabbed each other as our lips connected. Ian
wrapped his arms around my back and began kissing me slowly and deeply. I
clutched a handful of his hair and rubbed the back of his neck as our
tongues stroked and petted one another. As I kissed Ian, my body got hot
and I immediately wanted to get out of my clothes and rub my naked body all
over his. I could tell by the way that Ian was grabbing at my shirt as he
kissed me that he was as horny as I was and he wanted kiss me harder and
more passionately, but we played our little game and teased one another by
kissing very delicately and gently.

Ian pulled his lips from mine and looked into my eyes as he said, "You felt
so good earlier."

"I wasn't hurting you was I?"

"A little, but I loved it... your cock felt so good."

"Mmm, good," I replied softly and began laying soft kisses on his lips

"My ass... is a little sore... but... I want you inside of me again..."

"You want me to make love to you again, baby?" I boldly asked and my heart
leapt as the words escaped from my mouth.

Ian eased my anxiety by whispering against my lips, "Yeah, make love to me
again."

I licked and nibbled at his lower lip as I began to unfasten his light
blue, button down shirt. Just as I was doing this we heard the door slam
downstairs and our mother talking noisily on her cell phone as usual. Ian
and I both groaned and my hands trailed from my brother's shirt.

"Well, maybe this is a good thing. Your ass is already sore, so we probably
shouldn't do it again tonight."

Ian grumbled and said, "I'm really not that sore anymore. I want to feel
you again."

I sighed unhappily.

"God I'm so horny," Ian whimpered, running his hands up under my shirt and
rubbing my abs.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed at his lips again while I
whispered to him that it was ok, we'd just be together tomorrow.

"Who left this pizza box on the coffee table?! Brian! Ian! Downstairs now!"
our mother shouted from downstairs

Ian threw his head back and groaned. I groaned with him and got up from my
bed. Ian got up with me and followed me downstairs as he buttoned up his
shirt.

"How many times do I have to tell you both to clean up after yourselves? I
don't have you doing chores so the least you could do is just pick up your
shit!"

Ian grabbed the pizza box and napkins that were scattered all over the
coffee table and went to the kitchen to throw them away. I sat down on the
couch beside mom and watched as she kicked her pumps off and relaxed her
feet on top of the coffee table.

"Hard day?"

She just sighed

Ian came back from the kitchen and sat down on the love seat across from
the couch. Mom, Ian, and I sat together saying nothing to each other for
several minutes, then our attention shifted to the front door as we heard
what could only be our dad fumbling to put his key in the door.

"Hey! Wow, everyone's downstairs together! What's the occasion?" dad said
as he entered the house and dumped his luggage by the door.

"I didn't even know you were coming home tonight," mom said, disregarding
his question

"Well I didn't know either. You know how unpredictable my trips are."

"You have a cell phone, you can call me!"

Ian and I looked at each other and shared a look that showed we were both
aware that our parents were going to start fighting.

"Honey, not now. Please, I JUST got home," dad said picking his luggage
back up and heading for the stairs

"Speaking of your cell phone, do you ever check you messages anymore for
Christ sakes?"

"Barbara! Can't I enter the house without you chewing me out in front of
our children? Can't I for ONCE?"

Our parents disappeared upstairs leaving Ian and I alone. If they knew what
we did together, they would never want to leave us alone. Thinking this
made me smile to myself.

"Well, the family is reunited once again! How sweet it is," Ian said
sarcastically

I grinned and shook my head as I said, "All we need is Jeremy here trying
to act civil and calm everyone down. We couldn't manage without the
pacifist of the family."

Ian laughed and walked over to where I was sitting on the couch and plopped
down beside me. We were silent for awhile, just sitting together and trying
to ignore how badly we wanted to turn towards one another and press our
lips together. The silence was bugging me, so I leaned forward to grab the
remote off of the coffee table. My brother stopped me with his hand, so I
sat back and looked at him. He looked calm and relaxed, but I could tell by
his expression that he had something important to say to me.

"Lets go upstairs," he said simply and got up from the couch.

I followed him upstairs to his room and sat on his bed beside him. Ian
turned on his television so that if mom or dad came in it would look like
we were just hanging out watching TV together.

Ian looked over at me and reluctantly said, "I'm not freaking out, per se,
but what we're doing is not a trivial thing, you know?"

"I'm kind of freaking out," I admitted and rested my head back against
Ian's wall.

"What's happening?" Ian asked softly

I decided not to bullshit or be coy with him. I knew just what was
happening.

I looked over at Ian and said, "I have radically changed since you and I
started fooling around. Well, in my opinion after what we did today, we
can't really call it 'fooling around'. That's not how I see it anymore."

"Me neither."

Ian's saying this comforted me so I went on to say, "I broke up with Megan
today because she doesn't make me feel like you do when I'm with her. She
doesn't make me feel like anything, actually. When I kiss her, I feel
nothing at all. She wanted me to fuck her, but I turned her down because I
simply didn't WANT to. That's how radically I have changed since being with
you. I'm not even attracted to her anymore... or to anyone else but you."

I paused and leaned my head back against Ian's wall again before I went on
to say, "I was insanely jealous when I saw you and Jessie cuddled up
together on the couch. And it was so weird and uncomfortable because I
didn't want to be jealous, but I was. God, of course I'd have to fall in
love with a GUY who just HAPPENS to be my fuckin' brother."

Ian smiled and said, "If I told anyone I was in love they'd laugh in my
face."

I looked over at him and grinned as I said, "Then they'd cuff you when you
told them who you're in love with."

"You can't fall in love this fast, I thought."

"It happens when it happens... if it wasn't love I was feeling for you when
we were having sex then I have no idea what it was."

"God, I loved being that close to you. I loved it even before it started to
feel good."

"It was amazing... did it really feel good?"

"Oh my God yeah... towards the end. In the beginning it was weird, but
after while you felt incredible. It hurt a little when you started to pound
me really hard but the pleasure outweighed the pain and even the pain of it
all felt good in a way."

I smiled happily as my mind wandered back to earlier when I had made love
to my brother. I could almost feel his gentle breath against my ear as I
thought back to when we hugged each other as I thrust into him.

I sighed and looked past Ian as I said, "I never once thought I was gay
until today. After we had sex, the thought popped into my head that I might
be gay then again when I was kissing Megan today and I couldn't get into it
because I wasn't attracted to her anymore."

"Yeah... Jessie doesn't really do it for me anymore either."

I looked at Ian as he went on to say, "But you said before it doesn't
matter if we're gay or not. We shouldn't label ourselves."

I sighed again

"You don't believe that anymore?"

"I do... it's just that... when I said that I was sure that we weren't
gay. We were just fooling around. Now I have no idea. Jesus, I didn't even
want to have sex with Megan... that's so amazing to me. I mean, really Ian,
when she insinuated that she wanted to have sex I immediately felt doomed
and like I HAD to get away from her."

We were quiet for awhile again, just resting back against the wall, before
Ian broke the silence by saying, "You're right, we're not just fooling
around like some frat guys who just want to get off... in a way I think we
both wish we were."

I smiled and said, "You're right."

"Hey," Ian said, looking over at me

I looked at him and grinned as he said, "I'm not as freaked out as I
sound. I'm just thinking aloud. I'm actually more happy than anything
else... I loved it when we were having sex and I'm not even talking about
how you made me feel physically, although I loved that too."

"I'm not really freaked out either... I'm just confused. This happened so
fast. And we're brothers. And now I don't know if I'm gay. I guess it
doesn't matter, but... it's just weird."

"Well, we could stop doing what we've been doing or we could keep it up and
surrender to how we feel about one another. It's pretty simple"

"You are so grown up for your age. Jesus, who says stuff like that?" I
joked

"Oh shut up," Ian laughed

"But you're right. It is pretty simple."

"Do you want to stop?"

I didn't even hesitate to say no. Of course I didn't want to stop. Ian had
turned my world upside down. Even if we did stop it wouldn't change
anything. If we stopped being with one another I wouldn't just forget about
what had happened between us and I wouldn't just all of a sudden not be
attracted to Ian and be straight again. That's ridiculous.

"Of course I don't want to stop being with you, but... what about Jessie
and Jason? Do you have any intentions of ending it with them?"

"Naturally! I only want to be with you."

My heart leapt gleefully when I heard this. I smiled and said, "I'm so mad
at you."

"Hah, you say that with a huge smile on your face!"

"I'm serious. I partially resent you. You started this! If you hadn't
manhandled me last Friday then-"

"Manhandled! Oh please!" Ian laughed

"Then I would have never known I was attracted to you. And I would have
never know how good it feels to kiss you and touch you... and make love to
you," I said, my voice getting softer with each word as I stared into my
brother's eyes.

"See... so you should thank me," Ian said gently

I wanted to kiss him feverishly and passionately, but I knew that I
couldn't. The risk was too high that mom or dad would bust threw the room
and catch us. Instead I just leaned forward and planted a soft, quick kiss
on his lips then got up to leave. As I walked to the door, Ian said,
"You're welcome."

I smiled and said, "Thanks Ian," as I left his room. What was happening
between Ian and I was unnerving, but in so many ways he'd saved me by
showing me that I was capable of opening up to people and caring for people
and being honest and straightforward with people. Maybe I always knew I was
capable of doing those things, but I never wanted to until Ian and I got
close. After that Friday night when we were together for the first time, my
façade was stripped from me and ever since then... I haven't wanted to put
it back on. So yes, thank you Ian. Thank you for being you.

To be continued...


Please forgive me for taking so long to write and add this chapter. There
are several more chapters to be added, please continue to read. Thank you!
And thanks to those who took the time to email me and share their opinion
of this story. I appreciate all responses.