Date: Fri, 19 Aug 2016 10:03:17 -0500
From: spiritofwolves2001@gmail.com
Subject: My Dad And Me: part 19

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spiritofwolves2001@gmail.com

All people and places in this story are fiction. This is just a story I've
been wanting to write.

Any use or sharing of this work without my consent is prohibited. This is
my original work.


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My Dad And Me: part 19

So, the day before dad and I were to head to the lake house, we had gotten
everything packed up.  I think I was getting on Jeremy's nerves because I
kept making sure he was ok and not mad that I wanted to be with dad, just
me and dad.

"Babe, I am not mad. Seriously, I understand what you are feeling. I
totally get it, and I support you both in this. You need your time with dad
and I'm fully supportive of it. And no, I'm not mad or jealous or even hurt
that it's just gonna be you and dad. I have Randy here and he's just as
much my dad as Rick is."

I hugged my man and said, "I'm sorry to be double and triple checking. I
just wanted to make sure before I left with dad. I love you so much, babe."
We kissed.

A knock on the door broke it. Randy answered and said, "Can I help you?" A
young man said, "My name is Blake. I'm with the police department. Is there
a Rick Williams that lives here?" Randy said, "Yes. I'm his husband." Randy
called for dad who came to the door.

"Mr. Williams, I am with the police department. I was informed to let you
know of the passing of a Donna Williams. She was killed in a car accident 2
days ago." Rick was stunned, but managed to say, "Wow. I was married to her
for a few years, but she left 15 years ago. Our divorce was finalized a
year after she left."

Blake said, "Yes, that's all on record. Her father is the only parent
living, and he asked if you would like to arrange the funeral since she is
the mother of your son."

I walked over to dad and put my hand on his shoulder. He looked shocked,
hurt and I knew he needed to think about this. I spoke up, "Sir, is there a
way we could call you after my father thinks about all this?" Blake said,
"I understand. Here is my card, my number is on it. I don't mean to rush,
but I need an answer by 5 this evening." Dad shook his hand and said, "Yes,
I will call you by then to let you know. Thank you."

Dad closed the door and he started to cry. "I can't believe it, Jay. Your
mom is gone. You'll never get to meet her." I hugged dad and said, "It's
ok, dad. Look, she left us when I was 2. I have very few memories of
her. But in all this, she gave me the best gift she could have. A life with
the best father in the whole world." Dad hugged me tight and cried. I knew
he loved mom, so I just held him as he cried.

We all sat at the table. Randy holding dad, Jeremy holding me, and we
discussed the funeral arrangements and dad said he would. He called Blake
and told him he would, and we set out to get the funeral home and
everything paid for.

So our weekend trip was spent burying my mom, the woman I never knew. I
can't say I was sad but I can't say I didn't feel anything. I think my
biggest issue was gonna be never getting the answer from her on why she
left.

Dad and I got the funeral set for the coming Tuesday, and it was Friday. We
got grandpa to bring pictures. I never met the man, but I could tell I had
his eyes. We talked and I was nervous, but he hugged me and said, "Jason, I
am sorry we have never met, and I'm even more sorry that when we finally
did, it's under these circumstances."

I said, "I understand. But can you answer me this one question?" He shook
his head and said, "If I can, yes." I asked point blank, "Why did she leave
when I was 2? Why didn't she ever send me a card or a letter, or a birthday
gift or Christmas? Why didn't she ever try to see me growing up?"

I saw his eyes water up. He answered as best he could. "Is it ok to tell
him what I know, Rick?" Dad said, "Yeah, I've told him what I know, but I'm
sure you know more then I do." So, grandpa opened up, "Jason, your mom and
dad got together after she got pregnant. They married, you were born. Then
she met a man, and he talked her in to leaving your dad. She knew your dad
was gay and she wouldn't ever fully be what he wanted. But the guy she left
your dad for, was bad news. He got her on drugs, she was working as a
stripper and had to have an abortion more then once. The reason she died,
was of an overdose, and she was driving. She ran off the road going way too
fast and hit a tree. Died on impact. The autopsy will tell us more when we
get it. I tried my best to get her help and to get back on the right path,
to come see her son. But she wouldn't listen. I stayed away because I
didn't want to bring any bad news to you about your mom, and at her
request. She didn't want any of the family to meet you. I honestly don't
know if it was because she didn't want to feel guilty for leaving, or if
she was ashamed that your the son of a gay man. And I wasn't sure if you or
your dad wanted me around."

Wow, I couldn't speak. Jeremy wrapped his arm around my shoulder and held
me. I had tears in my eyes. A woman I have no memories of, could effect me
this way. I was sad because of what happened and her life was taken by
drugs. And my grandpa opted to stay away because he wasn't sure how we felt
about him coming around. I just cried.

Grandpa knew I was gay as well and that Jeremy was my soon to be husband
and he was fine with it. He liked Randy and Jeremy both.

We got the picture board put together, grandpa helped get her obituary
wrote out, and we got everything set for the funeral. He went home that
evening and dad and Randy decided that dad and I needed an evening alone
together. So Randy took Jeremy to dinner so dad and I could talk. I just
kept crying, and dad understood why. When I finally stopped crying, we
talked about her. Dad said she was a sweet young lady when he met her, and
that she was totally fine with him being gay. They got a little tipsy one
night and he wanted to find out if he really was gay and they had sex. Next
thing he knew, her parents and his, we're making them marry because she was
pregnant with me.

They were both virgins when this happened, but they still had dad do a
paternity test and I was his son. Dad said, "I think your mom regretted
that night. She loved you, but I don't think she was ready to be a mom. She
hadn't even finished her first year of college. So she left, and made bad
choices. But you know what, Jay?" I looked at dad and he said, "I've never,
not one moment, regretted that night. You changed me for the better. When I
heard you cry after you were born, I immediately knew that I would love you
more then life itself, and I promised myself at that very moment, I would
be the father you needed. I thank God for you every single day. Your mom
may have left, but you will always have me, son. Always."

I started crying more and said, "Dad, thank you. I love you so much. I'm
glad I have you. It's strange, I never really thought about losing a parent
or anything. But with her passing, it's scared me because I don't know what
I would do if I lost you." Dad shushed me and said, "Don't go there,
Jay. We all face that in life eventually, but I'm here and not going
anywhere. You don't stress about that anymore."

Dad held me like he never had before. I hugged him so tight and cried. He
was always there for me, always. He loved me, I knew it. And I could feel
it in his touch, see it in his eyes, his smile. Yeah, we have a
relationship that very few would understand or agree with, but he and I
agreed on it and never have looked back. And I love every minute of it. My
dad and me. And he has the best husband, and second dad to me. And I have
the best soon to be husband myself, and second son to dad and Randy. I
never thought when dad and I began our new relationship, that Randy or
Jeremy would get in the mix. But it's never been a dull moment and I
couldn't be happier and I know dad is as well.

I stopped crying and dad just held me. We went to get something to eat and
just heated up some leftover meatloaf and mashed potatoes and green beans
with gravy, I made the night before. We ate and decided to just sit in the
shallow end of our pool and just talk more.

"Are you feeling better, Jay?" I looked at dad and smiled and said, "Yeah I
am. I think it was more information overload then it was hurt or
anything. I'm still not sure how I'm supposed to feel." Dad said, "You feel
exactly as you feel. There isn't a right or wrong way in this, son. We will
get through this together. As I said, you got me and I'm not going
anywhere."

Randy and Jeremy came home while we were in the pool and joined us. Randy
hugged me close and asked how I was doing, and Jeremy did the same to
dad. We told them we were ok. I explained to Randy and Jeremy what I told
dad and Randy agreed with dads answer. "Your dad is right. You feel as you
do. There isn't a right or wrong way. It's just what it is, you feel
whatever you feel." Jeremy agreed, saying, "I'm not sure how I would feel
in your shoes, babe. But you just feel as you feel. Your feelings will
change, constantly. But you just feel what you feel and don't let anyone
tell you how you should feel."

We ended up going to bed that night, all of us tired from the day's
events. Randy and Jeremy cuddled and let me and dad cuddle. I slept so hard
that night, I didn't wake up to anyone moving. When I did wake up, dad was
out of bed, but Randy and Jeremy were sound asleep. I went downstairs and
saw dad in the sunroom. I stepped out and heard him crying. I walked over
to him and he hugged me tight. I let him cry.

Now, I haven't seen my dad cry but a few times, so I know this was getting
to him. He dried up and said, "What if I wasn't gay? Would she have
stayed?" I said, "Dad, don't go there. You have Randy and Jeremy. Would you
want life without them? You can't do this what if this or what if that, you
will only cause yourself more grief. I know what you mean though, but her
choice was made and you did the best you could with me. And I think you did
a wonderful job. I love you dad, please don't keep kicking yourself like
this."

Dad hugged me again and I held him and he held me. Randy and Jeremy saw us
out there, but didn't join us. When we went inside they were making
breakfast. Randy told us he and Jeremy saw us out there but didn't want to
interrupt. Tuesday was coming and I was ready to get it over with.

We spent the next day having Rex, Brendon, Danny and Chad over to visit and
say how sorry they were for what happened. They spent the whole day there
just hanging and trying to bring up our spirits. I asked them if they would
come to the funeral tomorrow, and they said they would. Dad had told the
crew because of the funeral, they wouldn't have to work Tuesday.

I made dinner that night, to keep my mind occupied. I made home made
chicken and dumplings, added some fresh veggies from our garden to it as
well. It turned out pretty good. I usually add some salt and pepper to my
dumplings and I added some other seasonings and they were good. Everyone
loved it.

I wanted my dads and husband to be to hold me tonight. So we all just piled
on the couch that night to sleep. Dad held me the most. I think he knew, or
understood, what I was feeling inside. He held me close all night, Randy
behind him with his arm around dad and on my side, and Jeremy behind me
holding me and his arm around me on dads side, he and Randy holding
hands. I slept better then I thought I would.

The next morning we got up, showered. Jeremy held me close while we
showered and kissed me softly on my cheek. Randy held dad, kissing his
cheek. We got dressed and had to leave in an hour for the visitation and
then the funeral. It started at 10.

I had cereal for breakfast, and didn't eat much. I wondered what her family
was like. Would I look like any of them? I mean, I had grandpas eyes. But
what other features did I get from her side? I have dads build, body type
and I'm hairy like he is, and it's getting thicker. Our cocks are almost
identical, and I have his ass as well. I was worrying way too much about
this, but I couldn't help it.

"It's time to go, Jay. You ready for this?" Dad asked. "I think so, dad. I
was going over in my head, how many features I have from you. I have your
build, I'm hairy like you, our cocks are almost identical and I have your
ass. So I'm glad I look more like you." Dad kinda chuckled and said, "You
do have my ass, so when I'm fucking you, I'm fucking myself too!" I
actually laughed at that, as did Randy and Jeremy. I hugged dad and said,
"I love you dad. You always know what to say or do to make me feel
better. I just hope you are ok as well."  Dad whispered in my ear, "I will
be fine in time son. I have you, and I have Randy and Jeremy. Your love is
what will help me heal. I love you more then you could know." I heard him
start to cry a little with that and just hugged him tighter, with Randy and
Jeremy hugging us as well.

We loaded up and went to the funeral. Danny, Chad, Rex and Brendon pulled
in behind us. They went in and sat with us. I was nervous because I was
going to see what my mom looked like after all these years. The picture I
have of her is when I was born. Dad held me close as we walked to the
casket. Her family was seated close by, I saw grandpa. Dad and I walked up
and when I saw her, I couldn't believe how much older she looked. Grandpa
came up and put his arm around me. I just looked up at him and asked,
"Grandpa, why does she look so much older then I thought?" He said, "It's
the drugs she was doing. They have that effect on a person when they are on
them like she was." Her arms had scars, she looked as decent as they could
get her to look.

Grandpa and dad took me around to meet my aunts and uncle, my cousins, and
other family of moms. I saw a few features in them that I had. Our smile
was similar, but that was a mixture of dad and mom with me. I did have her
families eyes and ears, but that was it. I resembled dad more than anyone
else. In a way I was happy with that.

The funeral service wasn't very long, but it was sweet how grandpa helped
pick the music and helped write things out. Afterward, we went to the
graveside service and that wasn't long either.

When that was done, we had set up to have the dinner at the restaurant,
since it had enough seating for everyone. Brendon and Rex had left after
the funeral service to get the food set up and ready for us, so they missed
the graveside service.

I had so many of moms family trying to talk to me, I couldn't keep up and I
kept zoning out. Dad had to help answer questions. I was lost, but I wasn't
crying anymore. It was a hard day, but I kept my emotions in check.

After a few hours of talking and everyone eating, and complimenting us on
how great the restaurant was, we were finally able to get things cleaned up
and put away. Since we didn't have to cook, it wasn't hard to clean up. All
the family had left and Brendon, Rex, Danny and Chad stayed to help get
things put away.

"Thank you all for being here today. I don't think we would have made it
through today if it wasn't for you," dad said. "No problem, boss. I knew it
was hard for you guys when you had Randy's wife's funeral, and Jeremy's
parents and sister," said Danny. "Boss, your family to us. We wouldn't have
not been here for you guys. You hurt, we hurt," said Rex. We all had a
group hug and I still managed not to cry.

We all went back to the house and dad and Randy got some drinks for them
and the others. I just went to lay down, my head hurt and I felt
drained. Jeremy and dad let me be for a little while since they knew I
needed my space. But dad came and checked on me about an hour later, Jeremy
behind him.

Dad sat on my right side and Jeremy on my left and I only cried a little, I
didn't lose it like I thought. "Dad, why am I hurt over a woman I don't
remember?" Dad hugged me and said, "It's because, Jay, you never got
closure with your mother. She left and led a life that didn't include
you. She never came around or sent a card or anything. She didn't even want
her family to meet you. I don't think she was ashamed of you, I think she
was ashamed that she had a son with a gay man."

I felt a mixture of things, but what dad said made sense. He was right.

When everyone left, I was already asleep. Dad and Jeremy stayed out in the
living room to talk and dad made sure Jeremy was ok. "I know going to
another funeral wasn't easy for you." Jeremy said, "No, I wasn't going to
let him go to this without me. I know it's been hard on you, dad, but I'm
fine, really. I miss my parents and sister, but I know they are in a better
place. And life does go on, even though it feels like a stand still at
first. And I know if I ever need to talk, cry or whatever, you and Randy
are here for me. And Jeremy too, always has been here for me." Rick smiled,
Jeremy was mature and he was proud he would have him as his son-in-law. He
hugged Jeremy close.

While dad and Jeremy talked, Randy came in to get in bed and I woke
up. "Hey, dad, where is dad and Jeremy?" Randy said, "They are talking and
I told Rick to let me have some time to talk to you. Are you ok, son?" I
teared up and said, "I think I am but, think I'm not. I don't know." Randy
hugged me in to his chest and just held me, saying, "You will have these
moments, son. But it'll get better in time. I can't say I know what your
feeing because I didn't have that happen with either of my parents. But I'm
here for you, Jay." I said, "I just wish I knew what happened to her, why
she left and never contacted me again and wouldn't let anyone in her family
either. Was she ashamed of me, or what?"  I hugged him tighter, and cried
some. Dad and Jeremy came in shortly after and laid in the bed with us and
hugged me too.

I drifted off to sleep, but it was difficult at first. But I knew I needed
to try, since tomorrow I was determined to get back to my normal
routine. And Friday I had an appointment at the college for the class
schedule and everything.

Before I finally drifted off to sleep, dad hugged me close and said, "I
love you, son. With all my heart. I'm here for you, and always will be." He
made me feel better with his words and his touch. I kissed my dad, Randy
and Jeremy and went to sleep feeling more calm than I had all week.

I was going to be ok, I had my man and my dads.

Be watching for chapter 20!