Date: Mon, 12 May 2003 19:38:54 -0700 (PDT) From: Thomas Gaige <togaige@yahoo.com> Subject: My Step-Brother Jacob - Chapter 14 Nifty: Please add this chapter to my story under your "Gay - Incest" section. Thank you. DISCLAIMER: The following story is FICTIONAL. It contains descriptions of sexual activities between teenage boys. If you are not over 18 years of age, or if you find this type of story offensive, or viewing this material is illegal where you are, then please DO NOT READ IT! If you choose to read it, then - I hope you enjoy it! My Step-Brother Jacob Chapter 14 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "What do you mean Mike's dead?" I hollered into the phone. Craig was crying harder now. "H-his b-brother just c-called," he said, "they f-found him a little w-while ago." My legs felt like rubber, and tears filled my eyes, as I sank to the floor. Scott, who had come back into the hall when he heard me shout, ran up the stairs. "Are they sure?" I asked. "Yes!" Craig said. "What happened?" I asked, as tears began running down my cheeks. "He-he h-hung himself in the g-garage!" Craig said. "NOoooo!" I yelled, letting the phone slip from my hand, as I began rubbing my eyes. Andy came running down the stairs then, followed quickly by Jacob, Harry, and the twins. Grandma appeared in the kitchen door. Andy knelt in front of me, looking at me. He tried to wipe the tears from my face. I brushed his hand away and picked the phone back up. I could hear Craig sobbing on the other end. "D-do they know why he did it?" I asked. "No," Craig answered, "but Brian wants us all to come over." Brian was Boob's older brother. "When?" I asked. "As s-soon as we can," Craig replied, "can you pick me up, my car's in the shop?" "Yeah. I gotta shower first though," I said, "then I'll come get you." "K. Bye" Craig said and hung up. I sat stunned, the phone still in my hand. Finally, Andy took it and hung it up. "What's happened?" Grandma asked, as they all looked at me. Quietly I said, "Mike hung himself! He's dead!" "Oh Dear God!" Grandma exclaimed. Jacob sat down next to me and put his arm over my shoulder and hugged me. "Is there anything we can do?" he asked. As I felt more tears welling up, I smiled wanly at him and whispered "no" then I hid my face in my hands, as I couldn't stop crying. Andy sat down on the other side of me and pulled me to him. "Why?" I wailed looking up at him, "Why didn't I go after him last night?" Andy wrapped his arms around me and held me, while I sobbed. Dad and Elizabeth must've arrived at some point, because, the next thing I knew, Andy had let go of me and Dad was squatting in front of me, lifting my face, so he could see me. I heard Elizabeth telling all the others to give me and Dad some privacy. Much to his dismay, she even gently pushed Andy away. He started to protest, but Elizabeth was firm. Dad asked me about the previous night, and shakily I explained. By the end of the story I was crying again, and he took me in his arms and held me. I heard him saying that it wasn't my fault, and that there was no way I could've known he'd planned to kill himself. To get Dad to leave me alone, I said, "well, maybe," but in my heart, I knew I should've gone after him. If I had, maybe this wouldn't have happened. "I gotta go shower," I said, "Brian wants me and the guys to come over." Snuffling, I got up and headed upstairs to the bathroom. I stripped, climbed into the shower, and turned on the water. I just stood there, letting the warm water beat down on my head, and run down my body, as I began crying again. I sank down into the tub sobbing, as the water cascaded down over me. I don't know how long I sat there like that, but after a while, Andy was kneeling outside the tub, the shower curtain had been pulled back, and he wrapped an arm around me and held me. Eventually, I stopped crying and looked at Andy, who'd gotten all wet by then. "C'mon, stand up, and let me get you cleaned up," Andy said. I noticed he was naked as he stood up. He held out his hand for me to grasp. I reached for it, and he pulled me up off the tub floor. I stood up and he gently pushed me forward, under the shower, then he climbed into the tub, and pulled the shower curtain closed. He took some shampoo and washed my hair, and a bar of soap and lathered up my body. He washed me well. Tactfully, he just gave my cock, balls, and ass a cursory washing, without trying to start anything. When he was done, he quickly washed himself too, then shut off the water. Pulling back the shower curtain, he reached for two towels that were sitting on the toilet seat, and handed me one. We dried ourselves silently. Then we dried our hair with the hair dryer. Wrapped in towels we walked to our room, and silently got dressed. Everyone was in the kitchen eating when we walked in. They all stopped talking and looked in our direction. I grabbed my keys and jacket and said I had to go to Mike's house. "What about breakfast?" Grandma asked. "I can't eat," I replied. "Should I come?" Andy asked. I looked at him. He looked unsure of what to do. "No - but thanks," I said. I turned and walked out the door, before anyone could say anything else. I drove to Van Gogh's house. His sister answered the door. He was coming down the stairs, as I walked in. When he got to the bottom, he looked at me and we both started to cry. We wrapped our arms around each other and cried on each other's shoulders for a minute or so. Wiping our eyes, we parted, and I said, "You ready?" "Yeah," he replied, reaching for his jacket, which was lying on a chair. He put it on, and we left. We rode silently to Mike's house, both lost in our own thoughts. There were a few cars there when we arrived. One of them was Boner's. Boob's beloved Cherry Red Firebird was parked in the pulloff at the back end of the driveway where he always parked it. I parked and we walked slowly up to the house. As we approached the door, it opened. Mike's dad was letting someone out. Sadly, he gave a little smile and invited us in. We both told him how sorry we were. He started to cry, and pulled both of us into a hug with him. Choking he whispered "He loved you guys!" Of course both Craig and I started to cry again then. Eventually, Mike's dad let go of us, and said, "The rest of the guys are here already, C'mon." Then he turned and led us into the living room. Legs, Turkey, and Boner were all sitting on the couch. Brian and his mom were in chairs opposite them. I could see that all five of them had been crying. The love seat was free, so Craig and I sat there, after first giving Mike's mom a hug, and telling her how sorry we were. Mike's dad pulled a chair in from the hallway, and sat down too. With tears welling up in his eyes, Mike's dad asked "Do any of you guys know why Mike would do this?" The guys all mumbled that they didn't. Finally, with tears running down my cheeks I said "I think it's my fault. Mike didn't seem to like it that I brought my friend Andy over from England. I think he thought I'd replaced him, as my best friend, with Andy. I know he was upset last night at the bowling alley, and he left in a hurry. I tried to go after him, but I couldn't catch him. He was driving out of the lot, when I caught up to him, but he wouldn't stop." Then I started sobbing, as I apologized for not getting in my car to go after him. Mike's parents both tried to tell me it wasn't my fault, but I knew in my heart that it was. I jumped up and bolted out the door. I ran to my car, got in and sped off. I drove, not knowing where I was going. Eventually, I realized I was nearing Kriterkill Road that followed a creek, where Mike and I had found a swimming hole once, that we would go skinny dipping in on hot summer days. I turned down the road, and drove until I got to the swimming hole. I pulled off, and got out and trudged through the snow, down to the creek's edge. As I stood watching the water in the creek, rushing over the stones, I heard a car pull up and stop. I looked up to the road, and saw Brian getting out of his car. He was alone. I looked back at the water. A few seconds later, Brian was standing next to me. I could feel him looking at me. Finally, he said "it wasn't your fault!" "Yeah right!" I said, "if I hadn't brought Andy over, or if I'd talked more with Mike, or if I'd at least gone after him last night..." my voice trailed off. "You're entitled to have other friends than Mike; I'm sure you DID talk to him about Andy at some point; and as for chasing him last night, you had no idea where he was going. This wasn't your fault - stop blaming yourself! Nobody else thinks it's your fault either!" Then he put his arm over my shoulder. I started to cry again. Brian pulled me to him, and held me while I cried. After a couple minutes, I pulled myself together, and pulled away from Brian. He'd been crying too. Snuffling, we both stood quietly looking at the water. Finally I said "Mike and I used to come here skinny dipping on hot summer days." Brian grinned and said "I know, he told me about it. He loved those times with you! It must've been a lot of fun!" "It was," I said. We stood there quietly a while, both lost in thought. Finally, Brian said, "C'mon, it's getting cold, let's get you home. Craig's catching a ride with Steve, I'm gonna follow you to your house to make sure you're OK." "I'll be OK," I said, but Brian insisted on following me back to Grandma's. When we got there, he pulled in behind me, and got out, leaving his engine idling. He gave me a hug and said to stop thinking I was at fault. He wouldn't leave until I promised I'd stop thinking that way. Finally, I agreed, just so he'd leave. Then he said he'd be in touch about the arrangements. He got in his car and left. I went in the house and upstairs to Lynn's room. I closed the door and laid down on the bed to think. I must've fallen asleep, as next thing I knew, Andy was shaking me awake. He had a sandwich for me. I wasn't hungry though. He asked me what happened at Mike's, so I told him. "I see," he said, studying my face. "Do you feel any better after talking to Brian?" he asked. "Not really," I said. Just then, the doorbell rang. Andy went to answer it. He returned a minute later saying that the guys from the band were all down in the livingroom, and wanted to see me. So I got up and went downstairs. Van Gogh said they wanted to see if I was OK. I told them I was. Then Legs said, "We gotta do something about that audition, don't we?" "Shit!" I said, "I'd forgotten all about it." "We gotta cancel it, don't we?" Turkey asked. "Yeah, I'll call and cancel." I said. We were silent for a minute, then Boner voiced the question that was on all our minds - "So what's this do to the band?" We all just looked at each other, finally I said, "let's not think about that right now." They all nodded. Then Craig said that he'd found out about the wake and funeral arrangements. The wake was the next night, and the funeral the following morning. We'd all been asked to be pall bearers, along with Brian. Craig said that he'd told them we would do it. We all said that was fine. Then he said that Mike's parents wondered if I would play the piano and sing a song at the funeral. Everyone looked at me. "Shit! Did they request anything specific?" I asked. "Yeah - that Josh Groban song," Craig said, "Mike's mom said you sang it once at their house and you were even better than Groban." "Oh fuck!" I said, "What'd you say?" "I told them I'd ask you, and let them know," he said. They all looked at me again. Finally, I said "I suppose." Craig said he'd let Mike's family know. Then he told us they'd invited us all to each get up separately and speak during the eulogy as well, but that we didn't have to, if we didn't want to. We talked about that a bit, and decided we should do it. Then we decided to get together the next day and go to the wake together. After that the guys left. After they left, I got the talent scout's business card out of my wallet and called him. After he answered, I told him we had to cancel our audition, and why. He said how sorry he was, then asked what we were going to do about the band. I told him we hadn't discussed it yet. "Of course, I'm sorry," he said, "call me after you've had a chance to talk it over, no rush. And John, call me yourself, even if you guys decide to disband - you have real talent by yourself, and I wouldn't mind having you audition by yourself." I was shocked. "We're a band, I've only soloed a couple times," I said. "You should consider doing it more often," he said, "you're great!" "Um, well, thanks. I'll call you after things settle down, OK?" I said. "Sure thing," he said, "and again - I'm sorry about Mike." We hung up then. Andy came out of the kitchen then, and I told him about the call. "Well, you are really good by yourself, as well as with the band!" he said smiling. "Whatever," I said, "Where is everyone anyway?" "Your father and Elizabeth took the guys someplace, and Grandma is over at Mike's grandmother's - apparently they were friends. It's just us," Andy said, "feel like doing anything?" I just looked at Andy, with an annoyed look. He quickly said, "No John, I didn't mean that! I just wondered if you wanted to talk, or go for a walk, or something like that?" "Oh," I said. I thought a few minutes, I didn't really feel like doing anything, but Andy kept looking at me, hopefully. Finally I said, "Feel like taking a ride?" "Sure," he said. We grabbed our jackets and left. I drove first to the gas station, filled up, then headed for I-195 west. We rode silently, as I drove in the direction of Philadelphia. After a while, I flipped on the radio and we listened to an oldies station. In a little over an hour and a half, we were in Philly. It was 3:30 in the afternoon. There was still some time to take in a couple of the sites. I took Andy to see the Liberty Bell, and Independence Hall. Even though I was out of sorts, Andy seemed to enjoy seeing them. He bought a disposable camera, and took some pictures and listened to the tourguides' prattle. I trudged along, lost in thought, barely seeing where we were. Afterward, we drove to Penn's Landing, and had supper on the old drydocked ship they have there, that's a restaurant now. I just picked at my food, while Andy ate quietly. After we'd eaten, we took a walk along the wharf. Andy spied a phone booth and insisted that we call home and let them know where we were. I guess it was good that we did, as they were getting a little worried about us. After Andy assured them we were OK, we walked the rest of the way down the wharf. At the end, Andy sat down on a bench. I joined him. "John?" he said, finally. "Yeah?" I answered. "Is it my fault?" he asked. I looked at him. "Is what your fault?" I asked. "Is it my fault Mike is dead?" he asked, looking at me, his eyes brimming with tears. "No Andy! It's definitely not YOUR fault!," I said, "If it's anyone's fault, it's mine! And PLEASE - can we NOT talk about it anymore?" Andy wiped his eyes, then, after a minute's silence, he said "I love you John, and I'm here for you." "I know," I said, "I love you too. But, right now, I just need a little space." "Maybe I shouldn't have come on this ride then," Andy said. "No. I didn't mean it that way. I'm glad you're here with me. I'm sorry I'm such lousy company though." I said. "That's OK," Andy said. Then we were quiet for a while. Finally, I noticed Andy was shivering, so I said "C'mon, let's go home!" We went back to the car and drove back to Asbury Park. Dad and Elizabeth were still there when we arrived. I guess they were worried. I just said Good-Night to everyone and went upstairs to bed. Andy didn't come up, so I assume he stayed downstairs and told everyone what we'd been up to. I was still awake when he crawled into bed an hour later and snuggled up behind me and went to sleep. It was hours before I finally fell asleep. The next day, we didn't do much. Dad and Elizabeth took the boys site-seeing again. Grandma went to do some volunteer work at the hospital. Andy had insisted on staying with me, so we were left alone. We went to the beach and took a walk for a while. Then we went and ate. In the afternoon, we went to a movie. I don't remember what we saw, or even if I liked it. That night was the wake. I talked to the guys on the phone, and we agreed to meet at Turkey's house and go together. When it was time to go, Dad said that he'd bring the boys, Grandma, and Elizabeth. Andy looked at me. I didn't say anything. He blinked a couple times, then sadly turned to Dad and asked if he could join them. "Sure thing, Andy," Dad said, looking at me disapprovingly. I could see Andy was hurt, but I thought it'd be better if it was just me with the guys from the band. Wordlessly, I grabbed my keys and left. I drove to Turkey's. Boner's car was out front. VanGogh said he'd ride with me. Legs and Turkey rode with Boner. VanGogh and I followed Boner to the funeral home. It was a mob scene, with a line that spilled out the door into the parking lot. We saw a lot of kids from school. The girls were all crying, and many of the guys looked on the verge of tears as well. I tried to avoid most of their looks. Dad, Elizabeth, Grandma and the boys all walked up to the line a few people back from where we were. The guys all looked over and nodded to them or called "Hello". Legs told the people behind us to cut ahead of us then, since we were all together, and we ended up standing with them anyway. Craig called Andy to come over and stand right with us. Andy looked at me with an apologetic, but slightly hurt look. Craig looked at me with a questioning look. I ignored him. Eventually, the line wended its way through the home, and we entered the main room. Up ahead, we could see the coffin. I had hoped it would be closed. It wasn't. There were flowers everywhere. The smell of them was making me nauseous. As we drew nearer, I began to feel shaky. I wasn't sure I could do this. I wasn't sure I could look at Mike, knowing I was the reason he was dead. I let the guys and Andy go first. They all did well, but I could see they had tears in their eyes, as they looked at Mike. Finally, it was my turn, I had no choice but to move forward. I stepped up in front of the coffin and gazed down at Mike. The undertaker had done a good job, he looked pale, but just like he was sleeping peacefully, although his head seemed turned slightly to the right, as if he was looking at us. "I'm Sorry Mike!" I whispered, "I'm so sorry!" Then, I felt a huge lump well up in my throat, and I sank to my knees on the kneeler. I bent my head down and started crying. I felt someone kneel next to me and put an arm around me. It was Jacob. He hugged me and laid his head against my shoulder. After a minute or so, he pulled up on my elbow. It was time to move ahead. Harry pulled on my other elbow. As I got up, and turned to move ahead, I saw Andy walking swiftly out of the room, with tears running down his face. I stood a couple seconds getting myself under control, then gave Jacob and Harry each a hug and pushed them in front of me, toward the family. Still snuffling quite a bit, and wiping tears from my eyes, I introduced Jacob and Harry to Mike's brother and parents. We paid our respects, and I gave Mike's parents and Brian each a hug, then we left. The guys were in the parking lot, all of them were wiping their eyes. I saw Andy standing over by my father's car. He too was wiping his eyes, but for a different reason I supposed. Craig looked at me and said, "I think you should go talk to Andy. I think he feels left out. He wants to be there for you. He should ride home with you. I'll ride with Boner." The others all nodded in agreement. So I said I'd see them tomorrow at the funeral. I walked over to Andy then, who turned away from me. I could see he was still crying. I put a hand on his shoulder, and said "I'm sorry if I've hurt you Andy, I never meant to do that! I love you!" Andy shuddered involuntarily as he snuffled, then turned and looked at me and dissolved into tears again. I took him in my arms and held him while he cried. I cried some more, along with him. We were both drying our eyes, as Dad, Elizabeth, Grandma, and the boys approached. "We're all going back to the house for dessert," Grandma announced. "No exceptions this time!" she said looking at me pointedly. "Yes maam," I said smiling slightly. We all got into our cars, Andy joining me this time, and drove home. "I'm sorry for everything," I said to Andy. "I know," he said, "and it's OK, I know you're in a lot of pain right now. So don't pay attention to me!" I snorted, "Yeah right, you know I can't not pay attention to you!" Andy gave a small smile then. When we got home, Grandma busied herself in the kitchen making coffee, tea, and cocoa for everyone, then we all cut ourselves some of her cake or pie for dessert. We all sat around the livingroom eating quietly. When he'd finished his pie, Andy asked, "Are you going to practice the song you have to sing tomorrow?" "Oh Hell!" I said, "I forgot all about that. Shit I better see if I can do this." "You're singing tomorrow?" Dad asked. "Yeah, Mike's parents asked if I would," I said. I noticed Dad and Elizabeth trading nervous glances as I got up and went to the piano. I sat down, cracked my knuckles, and sat thinking a minute, trying to remember the song. Then I began to play. Concentrating just on the song itself, without thinking about Mike, I got all the way through it the first try. "Well, I guess you're good to go," Andy said. Everyone said it sounded great. I played it through a couple more times just to make sure. Each time I got through it with with only a couple minor fingering mistakes. If I could play it that well at the funeral, nobody would notice my mistakes, I reasoned to myself. Dad and Elizabeth got ready to go then. Dad turned to me and asked if I was OK. I told him I was. He gave me a hug. Elizabeth kissed each of us, and said Goodnight, and they left. Grandma said Goodnight then and went to bed too. The twins turned on the TV then and started looking for something to watch. They found a movie just starting that they wanted to see. Jacob and Harry decided to watch it with them. I said I was tired and was going to bed. Andy followed me up the stairs. When we got to our room, Andy looked at me questioningly, "I don't supp-", he began, but stopped. Then said "Never mind." He turned and went into the bathroom and shut the door. I took my time getting undressed, leaving just my jeans on. Finally, I padded to the bathroom. Andy'd been in there a couple minutes, but I never heard the toilet flush, or any water running. "You OK?" I asked. He sounded like I'd startled him, as he said loudly, "Yeah!" "Can I come in?" I asked, reaching for the doorknob. I didn't wait for an answer, as I was so used to sharing the bathroom with him for everything. "Jus-" Andy began to answer, but then he jumped, as I opened the door. He was standing naked in front of the sink, hardon in hand. Obviously he'd been masturbating. He got red in the face. "Oh God Andy, I'm sorry!" I said, stepping back outside and closing the door quickly. I walked back to our room. A few minutes later, the bathroom door opened, and Andy walked back to our room, still red in the face, wearing his jeans, his crotch still bulging a little. "I'm sorry," I said again, "I'm sorry for everything!" "You don't have anything to be sorry for," Andy said, "I'm the one who's sorry. I had to wank. I'd rather have had sex with you, but I know you're not up for that right now." "It's OK," I said, "I'd feel the same way if I was you. I'm sorry, but I just can't think about that right now." "I know," Andy said, as he stripped, and crawled into bed. Then he turned out the light. I walked to the bathroom, took a leak, and brushed my teeth, then went and crawled in next to Andy. He was laying on his side, facing away from me, as I laid down on my back next to him. Neither of us said a word. About a half hour later, I heard Andy's soft snoring. He was asleep. I laid thinking for some time afterward. I was in a state of total confusion. I loved Andy, and wanted to be with him, but I also couldn't help wondering all the time, if I hadn't brought Andy with me, would Mike still be alive? I knew I shouldn't be blaming Andy, and really I wasn't, I was blaming myself. But, in my mind, I couldn't separate my feelings for Andy from the guilt I was feeling for causing Mike's death. I just wished I'd gone after Mike, when he left the bowling alley! Maybe I could've found out why Mike seemed so jealous of my "friendship" with Andy. Maybe I could've stopped him from killing himself. I felt my eyes filling with tears. Quietly, I cried myself to sleep. A couple hours later I woke up. I was laying on my belly, my hardon, which was squashed between my belly and the bed was spewing cum! 'Fuck,' I thought to myself as my wet dream ended, 'I'm so fucked up, I haven't even gotten off in a couple days now!' Carefully, so as not to wake Andy, who was still snoring quietly, I reached to the floor and found my briefs laying next to my jeans. I used them to wipe my cum off myself and the sheets. Then I laid awake most of the rest of the night, unable to fall back to sleep. Everyone got up early the next morning, showered and dressed for the funeral. Grandma made pancakes for breakfast, but I couldn't eat a thing. I felt like vomiting. At 8:15, the guys showed up, all crammed into Boner's car. Craig and Mitchell were going to ride with me. As we got ready to go, Craig asked Andy if he was joining us, but Andy just said "Thanks, but I'll ride with John's family." I looked at him, but he looked back down at his plate of pancakes, and continued eating. "C'mon then," I said to the guys, and we left. At the funeral home, the funeral director told us what we'd have to do as pall bearers, then we got to go and say a final Good-Bye to Mike. He still looked to be sleeping peacefully, as I looked upon him for the last time. Blinking back tears, I whispered "Bye Bruv, I did really love you y'know!" Then I went and sat down. My family walked in then, and all came and sat with me. Andy sat a couple chairs away, even though the boys had left an empty one next to me for him. As Jacob was telling him to come sit with me, Jenny walked over and sat down next to me. She was dabbing her eyes with a kleenex, and started talking about how she missed Mike so much. Looking past her, I saw Andy glancing miserably at me. Eventually, Jenny got up and went to sit with her parents. I motioned for Andy to join me. Hesitantly he got up and came and sat next to me. "I'm sorry," I said, "I know these last couple days have been hell on you, and I'm just so sorry." He looked at me sadly, through watery eyes. "Do you think things will ever be the same again?" he asked. "I don't know," I said, "I Hope so though." We didn't have time to talk anymore, as the service started. The funeral director lead everyone in some prayers, then announced how everyone should drive in the processional. He called people up in the order that their cars were lined up in the processional, to say a final Good-Bye to Mike. We pall bearers were left for last. Finally, it was our turn. Brian approached the coffin first. He stood for a couple minutes, crying, then turned and stepped away. One at a time, the rest of us filed up and took one last look at our friend. As I stood to the side wiping my eyes, the funeral director cranked a little handle in the end of the coffin, and Mike's head lowered a little, then he closed the coffin and locked it. He gave Brian the key. We all lined up on either side of the coffin, and lifted it off the catafalque, and onto a special wheeled dolly, which locked into place under it. Then we rolled it out to the hearse. We lifted it up and slid it into the hearse, as the dolly's wheels folded up under it and it slid right in. We went and got in our cars then. The processional was lead by a car carrying the funeral director. Then the flowers in a special car. Then came the hearse, then from the side parking lot, Mike's gleaming red Firebird nosed out and pulled in behind the hearse, its engine rumbling deeply, as Brian who was at the wheel, revved it a few times. He had the stereo blaring, just the way Mike would've wanted it. A lump formed in my throat, and tears filled my eyes again, when I saw that. A limo with Mike's parents and grandparents pulled in behind it, then me, then Boner, then all the rest of the mourners. We drove slowly to the church, a long line of cars, all with our headlights on. Those of us in the front of the procession pulled up in front of the church, and waited in our cars as everyone parked and went in the church. Once everyone was inside, and the flowers were all taken in, the funeral director had us get out and pull Mike's coffin from the hearse and set it up on the dolly again. Then we wheeled it into the church. The priest met us at the door. He blessed the coffin with holy water, and spread the flag of the Catholic Church over it, placing a large golden crucifix on top. Then the organ started playing and we rolled the casket down the main aisle behind the priest. When we got to the front of the church, we were directed to sit in a reserved pew, right behind Mike's family. The funeral mass went like most others, until the eulogy, just before the end, when people got up to say a few words about Mike. Brian lead off, and read a few pages he'd written about, and for his brother. By the end, he was crying, as were most of the people. Then each of us from the band spoke. I was last, as I was to sing afterward. When it was my turn, I went to the podium. First, where I told a few anecdotes from some of Mike's and my funnier experiences. I actually got a couple of chuckles out of most everyone. I'd chosen what I wanted to say carefully, hoping to lift people's spirits a bit. I finished saying that I'd always loved Mike and thought of him as a brother, and that we'd often called each other "Bruv". I said, that at the request of the family, I was going to sing a song by Josh Groban, entitled "To Where You Are", but that to honor Mike I was changing the words "My Love" to "My Bruv". Then I walked over to the piano and played and sang the song. Forcing myself to think of nothing but the music, ignoring the fact that I was singing it for Mike, I made it all the way through the song OK. There wasn't a dry eye in the church though by the time I was through. As I ended, I knew I was going to lose it soon too, and instead of returning to my seat, I slipped quickly out the side door. Once outside, I leaned against the brick wall of the church, and broke down sobbing. After a few minutes, I pulled myself together, and dried my eyes. I slipped back into the church, and slid into the end of the pew, just as the priest was finishing up. Then it was time to roll Mike out to the hearse again. We drove to the cemetery. There, we carried Mike's coffin to his family's plot, and placed it on the apparatus over the hole that was to be his grave. When everyone had assembled, the priest said a few final prayers, blessed Mike's coffin one last time, and then they began lowering it into the ground. Mike's mother lost it then. She started screaming and sobbing uncontrollably. Her husband and Brian grabbed her as she leaped up and tried to throw herself over the coffin. Everyone started crying. I'd had enough. I couldn't stay any longer. Blinded by my own tears, I jumped up and walked swiftly back to my car and got in to wait. A minute later, Jacob climbed in next to me. He leaned over the console between us and put an arm over my shoulder. I leaned over and cried on his shoulder, as he rubbed my back, saying over and over "it's OK". After a minute or so, my wracking sobs began to subside, and I sat up. "Thanks" I croaked. "It's OK" he said again. People were returning to their cars now. Craig and Mitch were heading our way, with Andy in tow. Andy didn't look too happy about it, but let them lead him in my direction. Jacob said he'd see me later and got out. Craig and Mitch poured Andy into the front seat, then climbed into the back seat. Craig was still crying a bit. "Damn Horse! Don't you keep any Kleenex in this heap?" he complained. We all chuckled, as I said "Use your sleeve, your Mom's not here!" "By the way," Mitchell said, "Follow Boner when we get out of here." I looked at him quizically in the rear view, but he didn't say anything, so I just did as he said. As all the other cars turned right leaving the cemetery, Boner turned left. I turned left too, and followed him. I was surprised when he pulled up in front of Grandma's house. We all got out. He opened his trunk and the guys all pulled bags out. As we went into the house and he said, "You two have two minutes to put on jeans and sweat shirts, we're going to the beach - just the six of us!" Andy opened his mouth to say something, but Craig said "you're coming with us Andy - no arguments." Then the guys proceeded to start changing their clothes right in the living room. "Gee - Good thing everyone's gone to the reception," Andy said, "or you guys might have gotten caught with your pants down!" We all chuckled then, and Boner said "C'mon - hurry up!" So we went upstairs and I started to change. Andy looked at me and said "I don't think I should go. This should be just for you and your friends." I looked at him and said "That's why you have to come - you're one of my friends - hell you're a lot more than just a friend - I want you there. I need you there. I'm sorry I've treated you like shit these past couple days. But Andy, I need you!" Andy smiled slightly then and started to change. In a couple minutes we'd all changed and gotten into our cars, and were headed to the beach. "When did you guys plan this?" I asked Craig and Mitch as we drove toward the ocean. "Last night. We figured we'd need to get away from everyone and be alone together for a while," Mitchell said, "Oh, and we told Brian to tell our parents and your's too that we wouldn't be at the reception." "If you guys need to be alone, how come you wanted me to come?" Andy asked then. "Because you're a part of our group now," Craig answered, "we can tell how close you and Horse are, and that's good enough for us!" I saw Andy's eyes begin to fill with tears then. I smiled as he blinked them back and, sniffing slightly, said "Thanks!" Then Craig leaned forward and mussed Andy's hair up and said "We gotta come up with a nickname for you!" "Oh Shit!" Andy exclaimed then. We all laughed. At the beach, carrying bags, blankets, and a cooler, we walked south a ways, until we found an isolated spot, that was a little protected from the wind, by some dunes. We gathered some driftwood and piled it up, and Boner put a bag packed with wadded up newspaper and sticks under it and lit it. In no time we had a bonfire going. Legs had brought a cooler with some beer and hot dogs. Van Gogh had hot dog buns, chips, and cookies. Turkey had a bottle of Wild Turkey 101! "It's his favorite drink," I told Andy, "hence his nickname!" "So that's why he's called Turkey!" Andy said, as the rest of us snickered. We spread a couple blankets to sit on near the fire and roasted some hotdogs, and ate them hungrily, washing them down with some beer. Then we broke out the bottle of Wild Turkey, toasted Mike, and passed it around, each taking a healthy swig. We spent the rest of the afternoon, sitting by the fire telling stories about Mike, and drinking the rest of the Wild Turkey and Beer. I'd brought the frisbee that the boys had found the other day that was still in my car trunk, so we played some frisbee too. By the end of the afternoon, we were all mildly toasted, and feeling a little better about life. Not a lot better, but at least we'd stopped bursting into tears at the mention of Mike's name. Andy felt much better too. He was happy because he finally felt he'd been accepted into my group of friends, and they truly seemed to like him. We'd only been at the beach a couple hours and they'd already come up with a couple of nicknames for him. After only a couple beers, poor Andy had had to relieve himself 4-5 times already, compared to our once or twice. So the guys couldn't decide whether to call him "Walnut" (for the size of his bladder) or "Whizzer" (since he spent so much time peeing). Andy put up a good front pretending to be offended, but I could tell he loved it that the guys wanted him to join the group. Toward the end of the afternoon, we were all sitting on the blankets by the fire relaxing again, and Andy, who can't hold his liquor, and was a bit sloshed, tipped over, and was leaning on me. Not thinking, I put an arm around him and hugged him to me. As we sat there, I noticed the others had gotten quiet, and were looking at us with puzzled looks on their faces. I felt my face go red. I sat up a bit straighter. Then, Andy realized that we were being a bit too 'familiar' in front of the guys, and sat up too. My arm dropped from his shoulders. "So," Boner said, "um, anything you wanta share with us Horse?" "Don't!" Craig said sharply, glaring at him. Steve glared back at him and said "I don't mean it that way." Looking at me, he said "we've all been kinda wonderin'." Uncomfortably, I said "wonderin' about what?" Andy looked ready to cry. He looked away from the group. I looked at the guys. They were all looking at me, but I couldn't read the looks on their faces. Craig, glared again at Steve, then looked at me and said "John, it's OK with us if there is anything you want to share. But you don't have to." "So you've all been discussing me?" I asked. They all looked sheepish then. Finally, Boner said, "Yeah, we have. So, what's the story with you two anyway?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------- The next chapter in this series will be published shortly.