Date: Sat, 11 Feb 2006 05:48:43 -0800 (PST)
From: rimpigfl <rimpigfl@yahoo.com>
Subject: THE PAPER VALENTINE

Copyright 2006 by RimPig. All rights reserved. Permission is granted to
Nifty Archives, to archive and display this work. All other uses are
expressly forbidden unless explicit arrangement has been made with the
author. This copyright applies to all chapters and pages of this work. It
may not be reproduced, posted, stored electronically, or archived, except
for personal, non-public use, without the express written permission of the
author.

THE PAPER VALENTINE
By RimPig   2006

The noise in the hallway was practically deafening as I spun the
combination dial on my locker. Three in the afternoon and the final bell
had rung ending school for the first Monday in February. I opened my locker
and was just about to put away the books from my last two classes, in
preparation for going home, when I chanced to see, lying on top of the
stack of books already there, a paper Valentine. The inexpensive, cut-out
kind that kids give to each other in elementary school.

The valentine had Winnie-the-Pooh holding a sign which read, "Be My
Valentine". I turned the card over to see who in the hell had stuck this in
my locker but all I could see on the back was the simple message, "I Love
You." written in script with purple ink with no signature. I was
particularly confounded by the fact that it was Winnie-the-Pooh, my special
favorite when I was growing up but nobody in this school could know that.

'Who the hell could be sending me a Valentine?' I thought to myself.

After all, it wasn't even Valentine's Day yet. That wasn't for another
eight days, this being only the sixth of February. Not to mention the fact
that I hadn't received a Valentine since elementary school. I was now
seventeen and a junior in high school and I didn't remember getting a
Valentine like this since maybe third or fourth grade.

It was also unusual in that I was not dating anyone. More to the point,
I've never been on a date in my life. I was not what you'd call a part of
the 'in' crowd in high school. I was more like part of the
'so-far-out-as-to-not-even-be-on-anybody's-radar' crowd, which was just the
way I wanted it. Most people, if they thought about it (which I sincerely
hope they didn't!) would probably think that I was shy. That's not exactly
the case, however.

What I was doing was desperately trying to hide the worst secret that any
boy in high school can have - the fact that I am gay. This revelation had
started to become apparent to me in junior high when we started taking
showers in PE. While I guess it's only 'normal' for guys to 'check each
other out' under those circumstances, I went a lot farther than that. I not
only checked the other guys out but then used the mental images of their
growing adolescent bodies in the grist mill of my imagination to fuel my
twice or three times a day masturbation habit.

Of course, I kept my voyeurism as surreptitious as I could, not wanting
anyone to catch me at it and make the correct assumption about my sexual
orientation. Besides, I've always had the ultimate 'masturbation fantasy'
within much easier access than the middle school locker room and showers
because the most beautiful boy I'd ever seen in my life sleeps in the room
next to mine - my older brother, Brad.

Brad is a year older than I am and a senior.  Brad is tall, just a little
over six feet, with dark hair and blue eyes. His body is incredible from
years and years of sports; well defined with broad shoulders, arms loaded
with muscles and a huge chest that tapers down to ridged, six-pack abs
above a slender waist. His thighs are huge and even his calves are knotted
muscle. Then there is my favorite part, his butt! If you look the term
"bubble butt" up in the encyclopedia, there is no definition, just a
picture of Brad's butt.

The older we get, the more I drool over my hunky older brother. But, then
again, so does just about everyone else. Brad is a jock and not only plays
just about every sport there is, he excels at them. He has tons of friends
and so many girls chasing him that, at the beginning of his sophomore year,
my parents gave him his own phone line because they got tired of answering
all of the calls from girls who were chasing him.

In other words, Brad and I are as different as day and night. Where Brad is
tall, I barely make it to five feet six inches. Where Brad is muscular, I
am slender and slight of build. Where he is dark haired with blue eyes, my
hair is auburn and I have green eyes. Worst of all, I was cursed with a
heavy band of freckles across my nose as well! If you saw my Dad and Mom,
you'd know immediately what happened. Dad is tall and dark haired, Mom is
short with red hair and freckles.

And, of course, I do not participate in any sports and I have no
friends. However, not having any friends is as much by my own design as
anything. I've never let anyone get close to me, not since I finally
figured out that my attraction to other guys wasn't just a 'phase' and I
wasn't going to 'grow out of it'.

About the only thing that Brad and I share in common, besides our basic
genetic bond as siblings and the fact that we are both male, is our
intelligence. Brad is one of those rare phenomenons - a jock with a
brain. I, on the other hand, am just a brain - a very quiet brain. I take
great pains not to let it be known that I am because I don't want to be on
anybody's radar for anything. I just want to make it through high school
and get the fuck out. I have plans to go to any college that will take me
as long as it is in or near a major city and at least a thousand miles from
home so that I could finally 'come out' and be who and what I really am.

There is, however, one huge 'fly in the ointment' of this plan. About two
years ago, I made a terrible discovery about myself. Even worse than the
one in junior high when I figured out that I was gay. I hadn't 'fought'
being gay very hard. It just didn't seem all that terrible, except for
having to hide it. I knew from the internet that there are plenty of gay
guys out there who are okay with being that way. I knew I certainly wasn't
alone in the way I felt. Fuck! There is even a fucking movie out this year
about two guys who were fucking cowboys who fell in love with each other -
not that it played in this fucking small-assed town in middle America where
I live!

No, this discovery had taken me from the realm of 'gay' into the realm of
'pervert'! It had all started innocently enough. One day, I was cruising
through some websites when I chanced upon this one that dealt with romance
and marriage. Figuring it would be good for a laugh, I navigated through a
few pages of it until I came to this one web-page where it talked about
'your ideal mate'. There was this 'test questionnaire' that you were
supposed to fill out and it would tell you what your perfect mate would be
like. It cost money, however, to get the results and I didn't have a credit
card nor would I waste money on something stupid like this.

But it got me thinking. Instead of taking the test, I logged off the
internet and clicked on my word processor and started making a list of what
I felt the ideal guy would be like - one that I could fall in love with and
spend the rest of my life with. You see, I don't want to just have sex with
a lot of guys. That's just not me, for some reason. My fantasies have
always been about falling in love and being with just one guy
exclusively. I've got nothing against guys who want to screw around with as
many other guys as they can find but, first of all, that's just not
something I'm into and secondly, there are too fucking many diseases out
there that can kill you!

I started making the list, putting down those qualities I most admired -
things like honesty, loyalty, compassion, gentleness and several
others. With each one, I started to think about who exemplified that
quality to me, who did I know who truly was that type of person. I kept
coming back to only one person - one person who embodied every one of the
qualities I most admired and most wanted in the person I would love and,
hopefully, spend my life with. The one person who I never expected or
wanted on my 'list' of potential mates. The one person that, no matter
what, I could never, ever have. The one person, who, if I had thought about
it, should not have surprised me at all for being the embodiment for me of
everything I ever wanted. That one person? My brother - Brad.

Oh, I fought it. I fought the feelings that started to rise up in me but
for days and days, I could think of nothing else. Finally, as I cried
myself to sleep one night, I was forced to finally accept that, as awful a
picture as the word 'incest' conjured up, I was guilty of it because I was
hopelessly and totally in love with Brad. Not the deep familial love of one
brother for another, though that was a part of it, but the love that one
human being has for their beloved mate. The deeper 'in love' of total
emotional, physical and spiritual love that bonds one human being to
another for life.

It was a difficult revelation for someone fifteen to make about themselves
and, for a while, it threw me into the depths of a depression the likes of
which I'd never known. But, gradually, over time, I've come to be able to
deal with my feelings towards Brad. Mostly, I'll admit, by hiding
them. I've also withdrawn more and more from him as time has gone by. Not
that I'd guess he would notice, really. After all, we hardly see each other
anymore. He's so busy with sports and with his senior year and all the
activities that this entails. And we don't live in the physical proximity
that we once did.

Before Brad's freshman year in high school, we lived on the other side of
town in a much smaller house. So small in fact that, from the time we were
toddlers, Brad and I shared a room. I really miss those days. We were so
close then. We never fought like I hear about other brothers.  Brad was
only eighteen months old when I was born and my Mom, still to this day,
loves to tell the story (which causes tremendous embarrassment to both Brad
and me) about how the day she brought me home from the hospital, that Brad
had somehow found a way to climb into my crib and she and my Dad had found
us both sleeping together, him with his arms around me and me with my head
resting on his little shoulder.

It was like that as we grew up. I remember many nights sleeping in Brad's
bed, in Brad's arms. Brad's physical development was always ahead of what
was considered the 'norm' for childhood development while mine was not slow
but decidedly not beyond the 'norm'. Brad was always not just physically
bigger than I was but noticeably so. When he was five he looked to be about
seven or eight while when I was five, I was often mistaken for three. Even
today, Brad looks like he's twenty or twenty-one and I look like I'm barely
old enough to be in high school.

Because of his size and natural physical superiority, Brad became my
self-appointed protector all the time we were in school. Bullies didn't
bother me because it quickly became apparent that if you messed with me,
Brad would painfully rearrange your face and body parts for you. He was
also the one who's bed I ran to when I was frightened of the dark, of
lightening and thunder, of nightmares, of bogey men under the bed or any
one of a thousand things that I was afraid of as a little kid. Sometimes,
it wasn't because I was scared, though. Sometimes, it was just to be close
to him, to be held in his arms. I should have figured out then how I felt
but, what did I know? I was just a little kid.

It was also in Brad's bed, one night when he had just turned twelve and I
was ten, that I learned the most important lesson of my childhood. In fact,
the most important lesson of any male's childhood or early adolescence. It
was that night that I learned from Brad the first lesson of male sexuality
- masturbation. It was Brad who taught me how to jack off.

It all started off innocently enough. I was awoken soon after I'd fallen
asleep by a rhythmic noise which I didn't recognize. I later learned that
it was that particular 'slap-slap' sound of skin on skin as a guy jacked on
his cock, pleasuring himself. That night, however, I was, at first,
frightened by the sound and then, once I had placed the sound as coming
from Brad's bed, curious as to what it was.

"Brad, what are you doing?" I asked quietly.

I saw Brad jump in surprise at the sound of my voice. I guess he'd waited
for me to fall asleep before indulging in the 'solitary vice' and was lost
in his own body's feelings when I had unknowingly interrupted him.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep." he growled at me, sounding thoroughly pissed
off , though he was probably more embarrassed than anything else at the
time, I figured out later.

"What are you doing? What's making that noise?" I asked, totally ignoring
his growling at me.

I knew Brad's bark was way worse than his bite where I was
concerned. Unlike so many other brothers that we knew, Brad had never hit
me, never even come close to hitting me in our lives, so I wasn't afraid of
his growling voice or his seemingly pissed-off mood.

"It's nothing. It's none of your business. Now, go to sleep." he said,
turning over onto his side from his back so that he was facing away from me
in his bed.

"I want to know!" I insisted.

Okay, I did have some of the traits of your typical, bratty, younger
brother in me. But when you're a year younger in age and years younger in
development than your older sibling, you have to discover some way of
exerting some kind of dominance for yourself. I was, however, not so
'bratty' that I would use the 'ultimate nuclear threat' of "I'll tell
Mom!". While we both loved our parents, Brad and I had long ago come to the
opinion that what they didn't know couldn't hurt us so we had formed an
unspoken pact between us, even stronger than the one that members of the
Mafia supposedly swore to each other, to keep silent about anything that
went on between us.

Brad didn't say anything for a moment or two and then, with a heavy sigh,
he turned back over onto his back and I heard his voice in the darkness.

"If I show you, you've got to swear not to tell anyone! And I mean anyone!
You got that?" he growled.

I sat up in my bed, suddenly very excited. Whatever it was, it must be
something really 'special' for this kind of warning. I looked over at Brad
and made the universal sign for swearing among children - I drew a cross on
my chest above my heart.

"Cross my heart and hope to die!" I said, breathlessly.

"Okay. But you gotta come over into my bed. I'm not gonna shout this across
the room."  he said, turning towards me and holding up his covers for me to
get into them.

I flew out of my bed and across the three or four feet that separated our
beds and right into his, pressing my body as close to his as I could get. I
did notice something strange however.  Under normal circumstances, Brad and
I always slept in our white briefs. Mom had tried to keep us in pajamas,
but once Brad refused to wear them anymore, there was no way I wasn't going
to do exactly what Brad did. I always did. But tonight, Brad didn't have on
his briefs. In fact, he didn't have on anything!

"Brad! You're naked!" I exclaimed.

"Keep your voice down!" he shushed me. "Yeah, I'm naked. For what I'm gonna
show you, you have to be naked."

"Really?" I asked, hesitant about this.

Brad and I were naked around each other all the time. Being brothers and
sharing the same room, it just was a natural part of our lives. But for
some reason, that night, it seemed 'different' somehow. I wasn't sure how,
it just was.

"Really. Now slip your underwear off." he said.

"Okay." I said hesitantly.

I pushed down on my briefs while I planted my feet on the bed and arched my
hips up to push the briefs past them. I then took them off but held them in
my hand, looking at Brad questioningly as to what I was now supposed to do
with them.

"Put 'em on the floor. You ain't gonna need them." he said, pulling back
the covers so that we were both lying out in the open.

I tossed them on the floor on the side of his bed. It was then I happened
to look down to see where they landed that I saw his were already on the
floor next to where I'd thrown mine.

"Okay, now Brian, I'm serious about this. You don't ever tell anybody about
what I'm gonna show you cause, if you do, we'll both be in big-shit
trouble, you got that?" he asked, very seriously.

"I already swore! I'm not gonna tell nobody. I promise, Brad." I said
plaintively, somewhat hurt that he didn't trust me and that hurt showing in
my voice. "I've never told nobody nothin' that I wasn't supposed to, have
I?"

"No." he said, much more warmly, smiling at me. I think he realized that
he'd hurt me by his seeming distrust. "You never have told anybody."

And with this, he reached over and put his arm around me, pulling me to
him, and then he leaned over and did something he rarely did - he kissed me
very gently on the forehead. Now, this was something that our Dad did to us
all the time. He would pick us up in his arms, hug us and kiss us either on
the forehead or on our cheek. We would throw our arms around his neck and
kiss Dad on the cheek. It kind of became a special thing between Brad and
me that he would kiss me on the forehead, like Dad did and I would kiss him
on the cheek like I did Dad. So in answer, I leaned up and kissed Brad on
the cheek as my way of letting him know that I forgave him his temporary
distrust of me.

"So what is it you're gonna show me?" I asked.

"Well...you know how your dick sometimes gets hard?" Brad asked. "Kind of
like it is now?"

I looked down where Brad was looking and I was indeed hard. I had found
that this was happening more and more to me lately but I didn't know why.

"Yeah. I don't know why it does that." I said, somewhat embarrassed by
it. Then I happened to look over at Brad. "Hey! You're hard, too! Geez!
Your so much bigger than me!"

"Yeah. I know." he smiled. "But that's just because I'm older. You'll get
bigger as you grow. Now, do you know what 'sex' is?"

"That's something that grown-ups do but I don't know what it is." I said.

"Well, it's how they make babies." he said.

"You're kidding! Are we gonna make a baby?!" I asked in awe.

"No, silly. We can't do that! One of us would have to be a girl for
that. Two guys can't do that. No, but when your dick gets hard like that,
it means you want to have sex. They call it bein' 'horny'." he explained.

"Why 'horny'?" I asked.

"I don't know. Maybe it's because your dick kind of looks like a horn
stickin' out of your body or somethin'." he said. "Anyway, I'm gonna show
you what guys do when they can't have sex but they're horny."

"Okay. It doesn't hurt, does it?"

"No. It feels really good. Trust me." he said. "So what do you usually do
when your dick gets hard like that?"

"Most of the time, I just wait for it to go away. Sometimes, if I'm in bed,
I might squeeze it with my hand."

"And does that feel good?"

"Oh, yeah! It feels really good when I squeeze it." I exclaimed.

"Well, this is gonna feel even better." he smiled. "Now, you just watch and
do what I do."

With this, he lay back, his one arm still around me, and took his cock in
his other hand and began stroking it up and down. I watched as his foreskin
covered and uncovered the head of his cock as his hand slid it up and
down. It was only later, in those junior high showers, that I discovered
that some guys, in fact most guys, had their foreskin removed when they
were babies.  When I asked Brad about this, he explained to me that they
were 'circumcised' but that Dad had fought when we were born to keep us
'natural' like he was. For the ease of jacking off it gave me, I have
always been grateful to Dad for this.

As I watched Brad jacking off, I put my hand around my cock and tried to
emulate what he was doing. It took a few minutes, but I finally got the
hang of it and it was starting to feel really good! As Brad had told me,
much better than just squeezing it like I had been doing.  However, as I
got closer and closer to my first orgasm, I suddenly stopped. Brad looked
at me in surprise.

"What'd you stop for?" he asked.

"I feel like I'm gonna pee!" I explained.

"No, you're not! It feels like that at first. You're not gonna piss. Trust
me!" he said and went back to stroking his cock.

I started again but, as the feeling built, I just couldn't take it and I
stopped again.

"What's the matter now?" Brad asked me, again stopping his own jacking off
and sounding not at all happy about it.

"I...I...can't take it. It feels really weird!" I exclaimed, panting and
trying to get my breath back from the exertion.

"It feels like that the first time. Here! You just lay back down. Lemme do
it." he said.

And with this, Brad turned on his side and moved his hand over and grabbed
hold of my cock and started stroking it up and down, just like he'd been
doing to his own. I don't know why, but having Brad do it felt ten times
better than when I did it! Maybe it was the practice he'd had with his own
but, whatever it was, I was quickly panting and groaning and those feelings
of having to pee and not being able to take it were stronger than ever. But
Brad didn't stop. He didn't even slow down. In fact, he began speeding up,
his hand moving on my cock faster and faster until it felt like something
exploded inside me and my whole body went stiff and trembled at the same
time. I cried out and Brad quickly put his other hand over my mouth to keep
me quiet as his other hand on my cock continued to stroke up and down but
slower until he stopped all together.

As I lay there, I pushed Brad's hand off my mouth so that I could gulp for
air as I panted and tried to come down from whatever it was that had
happened to my body. Without doubt, it was the most incredible feeling I'd
ever had in my life but it felt like my whole body had been turned inside
out! Brad just held me and let me calm down, smiling down at me.

"So how did that feel, Bro?" he smiled at me.

"That...that was awesome!" I exclaimed. "What the hell was that?"

"Well, it's called an 'orgasm'. If you were older, a lot of white stuff
would shoot out of your cock. Guys call it sperm or cum. Mostly when a guy
gets off like that, he says that he 'cums'." Brad explained.

"White stuff? What kind of white stuff?" I asked.

"Well, you're too young yet to shoot any of it. It's part of what makes
babies. I just started shooting cum myself." he said, proudly.

"You do? Can I see?" I asked excitedly.

"Well..." he hesitated.

"You watched me." I said.

Now, if there is one thing that is drummed into children during childhood,
especially when there are siblings, it is the concept of 'fairness'. As a
younger brother, of course, there were a lot of things that I considered
unfair. The fact that Brad was older and bigger than me were just two of
them, though those were natural 'givens'. However, things like Brad getting
to do everything first because he was the oldest, that was cause for
argument as to the 'unfairness' of things. At least to me. Brad had always,
insofar as possible, tried to always be 'fair' with me. This now was the
argument I was making. Fair's fair, he'd watched me, I should get to watch
him.

"Okay. I guess you're right." he said.

"Do I get to do you like you did me?" I asked.

At this, Brad looked at me in shock. I guess he didn't have any idea how
far I was willing to push this 'fair' thing. Nor did I realize what I was
asking. After all, at this point in my life, while I'd heard the words
'gay' and 'queer' on the playground, I made absolutely no connection with
those words to sex or sexual activity. I didn't know that boys didn't 'do'
other boys or, if they did, it was not something that you ever admitted to.

I decided that it was probably best not to give Brad time to think about
this. His hard cock was there so, turning on my side so that I was facing
him, I reach out my hand and grasp his hard cock and started stroking up
and down it like he'd done to me. I'm sure that had I given Brad time to
think about this or to answer, I'd never gotten the chance to do what I did
but, once my hand was on his cock and I was gently stroking it, Brad's
ability to choose or, more importantly, to say 'no' evaporated completely.

He groaned and rolled over on his back, letting me stroke his cock as his
arm was around my shoulders. As I continued to stroke him, his groans got
louder and his hand on me started to stroke up and down my back, even going
so far as to stroke my little butt. That felt REALLY good! So good, in
fact, that my cock boned hard again when he did it. Through it all, he gave
me directions to help me, telling me to grip him tighter or to stroke
faster. I followed every direction to the letter and I could soon feel
Brad's body beginning to tense as mine had done. Almost without warning, I
could feel his cock in my hand get notably harder and thicker and then his
body began to spasm and I saw several drops of white fluid come shooting
out of the hole in the end of his cock that piss usually flowed from.

"Don't stop!" he exclaimed trying to keep his voice down as he came.

I had no intentions of stopping! This was incredible fun! And, best of all,
I was making Brad feel good - evidently as good as he'd made me feel! I
believed in being 'fair' as well. Finally, however, Brad couldn't take
anymore of what I was doing.

"Stop!" he said and my hand instantly froze on his dick. "I can't take
anymore."

I gently let go of his cock and my finger moved to dip into one of the
drops of 'cum' on his stomach. It was white and somewhat thick. Out of
curiosity, I brought my finger to my nose to smell it. It smelled
'starchy', like what Mom put on our white shirts when she ironed them.
Wondering how it tasted, I stuck my finger in my mouth and sucked it
off. It tasted a little salty but sweet, too. I liked it.

When I looked at Brad, however, he was looking at me in shock.

"Uhh...Brian...you're not supposed to do that." he said quietly.

"Why not? It's not poison is it? I'm not going to die am I?!" I was
suddenly afraid.

"No! It's not poison. It can't hurt you. But you're not supposed to eat
another guy's cum.  You can eat your own but not somebody else's." he said.

"Why not?" I asked, confused by this seemingly arbitrary 'rule'.

"Well...because...well...just because you're not supposed to." he said,
uncomfortably.

I didn't press him further than this. I realized that Brad was very
uncomfortable about this and I figured that it was best for me to just drop
it. I didn't want to piss him off for real, not when he'd just taught me
this wonderful thing and even let me do it to him. For some reason I didn't
understand at the time, that was the best part. He'd done it to me and I'd
gotten to do it to him.

"That was great, Brad! Can we do it again?" I asked.

"Well...you can jack yourself off any time you want to." he said, clearly
not wanting to say 'no' to me but clearly not wanting to say 'yes', either.

"I know that! No, I mean us doing it to each other?" I insisted.

"Well...we'll see, okay?" he said.

And just the way he said it, I knew we'd never do it again. It was just
like the way Mom or Dad would say "We'll see." when they wanted to put an
end to the discussion about something without having to deal with you
whining or begging. And Brad and I never did do it to each other again. But
I never forgot. I never forgot what his hard cock felt like nor what his
cum tasted like and, from that night on, I often jacked off to those
memories.

Which is why I can't believe how long it took me to figure out that I was
hopelessly in love with Brad and I was afraid I always would be - for all
the good it would ever do me.

It wasn't long after that night that our parents sold our house and moved
to the house we are in now. That was all about Brad. It was obvious that
Brad had tremendous athletic ability but the high school that he would have
been forced to go to in our old neighborhood didn't have much in the way of
an athletic program at all. So my parents bought our new house in a
neighborhood where Brad could attend a high school that not only had an
excellent athletics program but a high academic rating, as well.

The new house was much bigger than the old one and Brad and I were given
our own rooms, separated by a bathroom which we shared through doors which
opened to our rooms from each end of the bathroom. This way we had
privacy. We could rise naked from our beds each morning and walk to the
bathroom without having to dress like in the old house. By that point, we
had completely dispensed with wearing anything to bed at night.

In this way, I at least got to see how Brad was developing and what he
looked like naked.  In fact, I got to see his hard cock most mornings - a
sight that never ceased to thrill me. However, Brad had lied to me. Mine
never got as big as his did. Oh, I had no problems with how mine worked! So
far, it had never failed me and was now shooting gobs of cum which I very
happily ate, just as Brad said I could. Of course, I always wished it was
his that I was eating. But mine was just about two inches shorter than
Brad's and I guessed it was going to stay that way.

When I got home that afternoon, I went to my room, as usual, to boot up my
computer and see what e-mail I had. My only outlet for being 'gay' was
through the computer. I had joined a website for gay youth and, through it,
had made some 'on-line' friends. I checked my e-mail on the site to see if
anyone had sent me mail. This was the perfect time to do this as my parents
both worked and wouldn't be home for a couple of hours yet and Brad was
usually at school at some athletic practice or other.

There was only one e-mail and it was an e-card from Hallmark.com. The
sender's 'nick' was "Jockboy" which was a 'nick' I didn't recognize. It was
not the 'nick' of any of my on-line friends nor anyone I remembered ever
talking to on the site. I clicked on the link for the card. It was a
beautiful one with guitar music in the background and animation of two
vines growing out of two urns and intertwining to make a heart that then
bloomed in red flowers. The card said, "Our love keeps growing better and
better." and the personal message said simply, "I love you.".

I was shocked. Twice in one day, two Valentines from out of the blue with
identical messages, and I had no idea who had sent either one! The e-mail
address of the sender was just a 'Yahoo' account that was in the same name
as the 'nick' - Jockboy. I didn't know how or if I wanted to respond. I
saved the e-mail and logged out of the site. I decided to go downstairs and
get something to drink and think about what was happening.

While getting a Coke from the refrigerator, Brad walked in and came over to
me, ruffling my hair with his hand.

"How's it goin', Bro?" he grinned. "What's new?"

I hesitated. I thought about telling him about the Valentines but then I
realized that I couldn't because that would engender having to explain the
e-mail one to my account on the Gay Youth site - someplace I was careful
never to let anyone, especially Brad, know that I visited.

"Uhh...nothing. Nothing new." I said. "How about you? Anything new with
you?"

"Nah! Same ole, same ole. Coach Barnes, my wrestling coach is trying to get
me a scholarship to the University of Nebraska but I don't want to go
there. I just don't know how to tell him."

As an outstanding high school athlete with a strong academic record, Brad
had several 'irons in the fire' for scholarships at a number of
colleges. This was a subject that was totally depressing to me. I knew
that, within the year, Brad would be off to college while I would be
staying here for my senior year, alone. Worse, I wondered if I would ever
be living with my brother again? The one boy that I was totally in love
with would be out of my life except for holidays and family reunions. Life
really stunk!

"Well, I'm sure you'll figure something out. Listen, I gotta go. I've got
tons of homework and I don't want to be up all night doing it." I lied.

"Sure, Bro. I understand. I'll see you at dinner." he said, and he somehow
sounded disappointed, like he wanted to spend more time with me.

But I figured this was just wishful thinking on my part. God knows, I
wanted to spend more time with him but I couldn't. Spending time with Brad
was dangerous. I was too afraid that somehow he'd finally catch on to how I
really felt about him and that would be a disaster! I couldn't allow him to
know how much or in what way that I loved him. I couldn't take the anger
and the disgust at me that I was sure he would show. I couldn't afford to
lose the only relationship I had with him - that of just his younger
brother.

"Yeah. See you at dinner." I said and went back upstairs to my room.

Of course, I didn't have any homework. It was just an excuse. I so excelled
at academics that I rarely had homework that I wasn't able to get done in
school - except for research papers and the like. And even then, the only
paper I had due was already finished, three weeks before I had to turn it
in. I sat back down at the computer and surfed over to Nifty to read the
stories there. This site was a gay boy's dream! I had discovered it close
to a year before and through the stories there had learned a lot about
being gay. At least a lot about gay sex. There was even a section of
stories about Incest so I had gotten to read stories about brothers falling
in love with each other. 'Fat chance!' I thought to myself. Nothing like
that was ever going to happen to me and I knew it.

You see, once he was in high school, Brad not only involved himself in
every sport there was, he also got involved with a lot of other jocks and
started indulging in the one pastime that all jocks seemed to have in
common other than sports - dating. With his looks and his athletic prowess,
Brad quickly had a harem of girls that were ever at his beck and call. I
didn't know for a fact that Brad had lost his virginity but I didn't think
there was much chance that he hadn't. After all, once he turned sixteen,
Mom and Dad had bought him a car which, to me, was just the same as giving
him permission to have all the sex he wanted.

While it is true that when I turned sixteen, they bought me a car as well
and it hadn't improved my sex life (I was still jacking off two or three
times a day) I wasn't able to have the kind of 'dates' that I
wanted. Mostly because who I wanted to 'date' was Brad. Or at least someone
like him! But, the fact of the matter was, there was no one 'like' him. I
was hopelessly in love with Brad and anyone else was just a poor
substitute. Maybe after I went off to college, I would finally have a
chance to get over him and find someone else that I could love. However,
part of me felt this was also about as likely as NASA announcing that
they'd discovered that there were really little green men on Mars - and
they were gay.

By the time my parents had gotten home and we had dinner, I had already
jacked off twice, both times to stories on Nifty about brothers who fell in
love. Both of them were by the same author, a guy named RimPig. I really
loved his stories because they were very romantic but he had this habit of
putting things in them like 'watersports' that really turned me off! The
idea of somebody pissing on me just didn't do anything for me. I usually
just skipped over those parts.  However, he did talk a lot about 'scent' -
the scent of someone. I knew all about that! I knew Brad's scent very well
and, just like this writer described, it did send thrills through me every
time I got near him. Especially when he came home sweaty from wrestling or
football practice, having not had time for a shower. That usually caused my
cock to bone harder than nails!

I also had to admit, that I had done something that several of his
characters had done. I stole one of Brad's used jocks and would take it out
and snort it while I was jacking off alone at night in the dark. It made me
feel close to him and it made me cum just from the thought of it having
intimate contact with Brad's body - contact that I would give anything to
have once more, like the night he'd taught me to jack off.

That night, I went to bed, and pulling Brad's jock from its hiding place, I
once again jacked off with the scent of Brad's jock stimulating my sense of
smell and sending shivers through me as I reached orgasm. I cleaned up by
eating my own cum and then re-hid the jock before turning over and going to
sleep. But my sleep was disturbed by a dream.

The dream was the same one that I'd had before a number of times and was
becoming more frequent. In the dream, I'm standing outside a
church. There's a wedding going on inside and I'm waiting until the bride
and groom emerge. There is a white limousine waiting for them as I am. Then
the doors open and they walk down the steps of the church heading for the
limousine where the driver is holding the door open for them. I don't
recognize the bride. In fact, I don't even see her face but the groom I
know all too well. It's Brad and, as he helps his bride into the waiting
car, he turns to me.

"No way! I don't want anything to do with you, pervert!" he shouts at me,
his face filled with hatred and anger.

He then gets in the limousine and it speeds away, leaving me standing on
the steps of the church, crying.

I woke up, crying and lay there, totally depressed and distraught, just as
I was every time I had the dream. It wasn't just a nightmare, it was my
greatest fear - that somehow Brad would find out how I felt about him and
would have nothing to do with me once he did. I knew that eventually I
would lose Brad to someone when he fell in love and got married. I also
knew that there was nothing I could do about it.

I eventually got back to sleep, but when I woke up again the next morning,
it was like I'd gotten no sleep at all. I just wanted to pull the covers
over my head and never get out of bed. But I knew that I would have to tell
my parents what was wrong, something that I couldn't do.

I dragged myself through another day at school and, when the day ended,
went again to my locker to put away my books and found another paper
Valentine. This time, it was the character Tigger from the Winnie-the-Pooh
stories with the words "I'm bouncing to be your Valentine" on the front and
the words "I Love You" written on the back in purple ink - the same as the
card the day before.

'Who the fuck is doing this!?' I thought to myself getting very pissed off
at the whole mystery.

If that wasn't enough, when I went home and booted up my computer, there
was another e-card from "Jockboy". This time is was pictures of roses and
golden hearts with the message that "Although I don't tell you in so many
words, I love you in so many ways." Again the personal message was just "I
Love You".

I deleted the two cards and logged off the site. This was really beginning
to get to me!  While I had no proof, I believed that whoever this "Jockboy"
was, he was the same one who was leaving the Winnie-the-Pooh Valentines in
my locker at school. Not only that, he's figured out who I am and is able
to e-mail me within the gay youth group. I didn't know how this was
possible but, just as there is 'identity theft', this guy had found out who
I was.

In some ways, I had to admit, that it was somewhat romantic, not knowing
who it was but certainly knowing that whoever it was, this guy must have a
big-time crush on me or something. I suppose I should have felt some fear
that someone had been able to hack my computer and find out all this stuff
about me but, I guess because he was telling me he loved me and sending me
Valentines, I wasn't afraid. I just was so frustrated because I wanted to
know who it was!

The paper Valentines and the e-card Valentines continued for the rest of
the week. Finally, on Friday, I'd had enough. I decided to contact this guy
and see what the fuck was going on. I replied to "Jockboy's" e-mail.

Dear Jockboy,

I don't know how you know me but this has to stop. I have been in love with
someone for a long time and that is not going to change. I'm sorry. You
need to find someone else to send Valentines to. I might make one
suggestion. If you're going to tell someone that you love them, it would
seem to make sense, to me, that you tell them who you are.

Brian

I didn't bother signing my 'nick' because I really believed that whoever
this guy was, he knew who I was. Besides, if he had hacked my computer, he
already knew everything private about me - especially the fact that I was
gay. There's no way he could know about my love for Brad because I never
committed anything to paper or to electronic file about my feelings for
him.  I admitted only to being "...in love with someone for a long time..."
without identifying who that someone was.

I really thought this would be the end fo it, at least I hoped so. I didn't
want to see any more Valentines. I didn't want to think anymore about
love. I just wanted to be allowed to bury my head in the sand and act like
everything would eventually work itself out - just the way that they did in
romance novels. You know, like Scarlet O'Hara at the end of "Gone With The
Wind" and her "I'll think about it tomorrow." speech.

I woke up early Saturday morning to find myself alone in the house. Pulling
on a pair of gym shorts, I went downstairs where there was a note on the
kitchen table to Brad and me from our parents saying that they were going
to be gone all day and probably most of the evening. They were not specific
about where they were or what they were doing and this led me to believe
that they had wanted to get away by themselves to perhaps have some time
for their own 'romance'.  At least after being together for so long, they
still loved each other which was more than I could say for a lot of kids my
age who's parents had divorced, some more than once. But being all alone in
the house brought back to me the reality that it was very possible that
this is how I would be spending my life - alone.

I had no idea where Brad was but that wasn't unusual. After all, we'd grown
more and more apart as his world became filled with practices, other jocks
and girls. I had just made a pot of coffee and was about to head back to my
room, however when I heard a car pull into the driveway. Looking out the
window, I saw that it was Brad's. He got out carrying his gym bag and
dressed in just a t-shirt and gym shorts. Evidently, he'd been at the gym
for an early morning workout. I could tell that his muscles were pumped and
he was somewhat sweaty, his hair showing that it was still somewhat wet. It
was a condition that I loved him in, one that guaranteed that his scent was
strong. But it was a dangerous condition for Brad to be in, at least for
me, because it was when I found him most physically attractive. I wanted to
run upstairs but he was coming in the kitchen door before I could move
quickly enough.

"Hey! Good morning!" he said, a huge smile on his face.

"Good morning yourself. Been at the gym?" I asked.

"Yeah, wanted to workout before the crowd got there. I noticed Dad's car is
gone.  What's up?" he asked.

"It would seem that Mom and Dad have deserted us. They left a note saying
they would be gone all day and maybe tonight. I guess they wanted some time
alone together." I said.

"Cool! That leaves us alone as well then." he grinned.

I was a little startled by that comment, not knowing what Brad meant by
that or why us being alone was such a thrilling thought to him.

"Yeah. I guess so. Don't you have plans for today?" I asked.

"Nope. Not a one. And no date tonight. I take it that you don't have one
either?" he asked.

"Oh, didn't I tell you? I've got this invitation to the White House for
dinner and I just have time to make a flight to Washington." I said, as
seriously as I could without laughing.

Brad looked at me for a moment, apparently considering whether my statement
had any basis in fact. Finally he grinned.

"Yeah. Right! So you have no plans either, huh?" he laughed.

"No. Not really. I suppose I could study..."

"Fuck studying! You're always doing that. How about spending some time with
me? We haven't done that for a long time." he said, and I could see this
was something that he really wanted.

It was something that I wanted as well. I knew the danger in it but I just
couldn't resist. I knew that it was not going to be too much longer and
Brad would not be around anymore at all and I just couldn't let the chance
to spend time with him, when we could be really alone together, pass.

"Sure. Why not. You're right, it has been a long time." I said, smiling at
him.

"Great!" he grinned. "Come on while I get a shower. You can keep me
company." he said.

I took my cup of coffee and followed him upstairs to our bathroom. I hopped
up on the vanity counter while he stripped down to get in the shower. In
the small room, with both doors closed to keep the heat in, the scent of
him seemed to pour off his body in waves, overwhelming my senses as I drew
deep breaths of it. It was strong and pungent. The scent of maleness filled
with sweat and testosterone, it sent chills through me causing goose-bumps
to raise on my arms.

As he stripped out of his t-shirt and gym shorts leaving him with just a
jock on, he looked over at me sitting on the vanity and grinned. He kept
his eyes locked on mine as he slowly slid the jock down and off and then
walked up to me so that he stood between my legs, effectively holding me on
the vanity, trapped between him and the mirror behind me. He then dangled
the sweaty, raunchy object from his index finger, right in front of my
face.

"Do you want this one for your collection? It should be just ripe enough."
he said, his voice low and seductive as he stared directly into my eyes.

I looked at him in shock.

"Whaa...what do you mean?!" I said, trying to act like I didn't know what
he was talking about.

My mind was racing! How had he found out? What was he up to?

"You know what I mean. I kept missing my jocks. They'd just disappear,
usually after I'd worn them for a while. At first I thought I was just
misplacing them but then they'd turn up again but in places I'd already
looked so I knew that somebody had to be taking them and putting them
back. Now, if Mom had done it, she would have washed them and I just didn't
figure that Dad had done it. So, by process of elimination, that left you."
he smiled.

"No! No I didn't!" I lied.

I couldn't let him know it was me! I couldn't let him find out because then
he might figure out the rest of it, the part about how I felt about him. I
couldn't let that happen.

His face came close to mine and his mouth went to my ear.

"Bro, I know it was you. I found where you hide them." he whispered, his
voice low and breathy.

I stiffened, knowing that he did know! If he'd found them in my room, what
else had he found? I tried to think of a way out of this but the strong
scent of him was driving me crazy! I took a breath of his scent and I
moaned. I couldn't help myself!

"Yeah, Bro, you like my scent, don't you?" he murmured.

He pulled back and looked into my eyes, smiling gently and then his tongue
came out and slowly licked his lips. I just stared into his eyes.

"How'd you like the Valentines?" he grinned.

I gasped! It was Brad? All those Valentines? Always saying "I love you".

"It was you?!" I exclaimed.

He grinned. "Just call me Jockboy".

"How...how'd you know?" I asked, totally amazed.

"Bro, you gotta learn how to password protect your computer." he
laughed. "You don't even clean out your history file. It was easy to find
the site you were going to and to find your 'nick'. I remembered how you
loved Winnie-the-Pooh, so I bought you those for school."

"But...but...they all said, 'I love you' on them." I said quietly.

"I do. I do love you, Bro. I've always loved you." he said softly. "Don't
you know that?"

"Well...yeah...you love me because I'm your brother." I said despondently.

"No, Brian. I'd so wished it was just as a brother. I've been in love with
you for a long time now. I was just always afraid to tell you. Afraid you'd
hate me." he said, and I could see the longing and the sadness in his eyes.

"But that can't be!" I insisted.

"Why not?" he asked, looking at me questioningly.

"Because! What about all those girls you date! Don't tell me you aren't
fucking any of them!" I said, suddenly angry for some reason.

"Okay. I won't tell you that. But they don't mean anything to me. I don't
even like fucking them. To stay hard and get off, I have to think about
you."

"But why?"

I couldn't understand any of this!

"For cover! Why else? You have you're way of hiding. I've got mine. I just
got fucking sick and tired of it! I'm tired of fucking some girl and then
coming home and jacking off thinking about you with you lying there, just
in the next room but you might as well have been on the other side of the
universe! I can't take it any more! I want you. If you don't want me, tell
me now." he said, getting frustrated and angry as well.

"You...you really want me?" I asked quietly.

"Yes. I really want you. I've always wanted you. Nobody else." he said, and
I could hear the begging quality of his voice.

"How do you want me? Just for sex?" I asked, afraid that was all it was.

"No!" he exclaimed, and then he hesitated. When he spoke again his voice
had a more pleading quality to it. "Yes, I do want you for sex....but not
just sex. I want to make love to you. I want you for as long as you want
me. You do want me, don't you?"

I could see fear in his eyes that I was going to say 'No' to him. I reached
my hand up and gently stroked his cheek. He turned his face so that he
could kiss my palm.

"Of course I want you. I've never wanted anyone else. I just can't believe
that this is happening." I said softly.

"Oh, fuck, Brian! Believe it!" he groaned. "I want you so bad. I want you
to be mine. I want you more than anything in the world."

"But why now?" I asked. "Why did you wait so long?"

"I didn't want to. I was just trying to get some things together before I
came to you." he said.

"What things?" I asked.

"How would you like to attend Boston University with me?" he smiled.

"I'd love to, but I have to graduate first." I said, miserably, knowing
that would be another year.

"No. You don't." he grinned.

"I don't?" I asked incredulously.

"No. You don't. I've been talking to them. They want me to play football
for them really badly. I told them that they could have me if they would
give me a full athletic scholarship and give you an academic one." he said.

"But they don't even know me!" I insisted.

"Yes, they do." he grinned. "Well, at least they know you
academically. They have your transcript."

"How the hell did they get my transcript?"

"I sent it to them." he grinned.

"How did you get it?" I asked in shock. "You didn't break into the school
computers did you?"

"I didn't need to. You'd be surprised what a big time jock senior with a
winning personality and good looks can get." he said slyly, waggling his
eyebrows at me.

"You seduced the school secretary?!" I exclaimed.

"No! I didn't have to. I just smiled and let her see me in that bare-abs
cut-off team jersey I've got. That's all it took." he grinned.

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself!" I laughed.

"I am not! I would do anything to make it so I don't have to leave here
without you!  Don't you get it, Brian? I love you! I want you with me
always." he said.

I looked into his eyes and I could see that what he was saying was the
truth. All of a sudden, all of the love I had for him and all of the misery
and anxiety I'd lived with thinking that my dreams of him loving me where
never going to come true, welled up in me and the tears started to streak
down my face. Brad saw this and I could see the fear and concern that came
over him.

"Bro! What the fuck's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing! I'm just so fucking happy! I never thought this would ever
happen! I've loved you and had to hide it for so long! Why the fuck do you
think I buried myself in my room all the time avoiding you? I was trying to
keep you from finding out how much I loved you! I thought you would hate me
for it!" I sobbed.

Brad put his arms around me, pulling me to him and burying my face against
his hard, muscular, sweaty chest. He was gently stroking my head.

"Oh, babe! I know. What do you think I been doing? I've been hiding from
you! If you hadn't been stealing my jocks, I never would have figured it
out." he murmured to me.

I looked up at him, and saw so much love in his eyes that it about took my
breath away. I must have looked a mess, tears streaming down my face, my
eyes red but he evidently didn't care.  He took his thumb and brushed away
the tears from both my cheeks and then leaned down and kissed me gently.

At this, I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him
harder against my mouth. His mouth opened and his tongue started licking at
my lips. I opened to him and his tongue invaded my mouth. I was sucking on
it and groaning when I felt him reach down and put his hands under my
butt. He then pulled his mouth from mine and looked into my eyes.

"Wrap you legs around me." he said.

I didn't even think about it, I did as he said. The next thing I knew, I
was rising off the counter and Brad was carrying me from the bathroom into
his bedroom, me wrapped around his naked body. He lay me gently on his bed
and crawled on top of me, looking down into my eyes.

"I should take a shower before we do this." he said softly.

"Don't you fucking dare!" I smiled. "I love the way you smell right now. I
want you to make love to me just this way."

"You got it, babe." he smiled down at me. "But we gotta get you naked."

He rose up moved back on the bed, grabbing the waistband of my gym shorts
and pulling them down my legs until he could get them off my feet. I was
then laying there, naked with my legs spread, open to him. He looked down
at my naked body and I could see hunger in his eyes.

"God! You are so beautiful!" he growled.

I looked at him in surprise.

"Me? Beautiful? No! You're beautiful!" I said.

"Trust me babe, you're beautiful. I love your body. I've loved it since we
were kids." he smiled.

"So why didn't you ever want to do anything after that night?" I asked the
question that had bothered me for years.

"You mean the night I taught you how to jack off?" he asked.

"Yeah. That one." I said.

"Because I was afraid." he said, hanging his head so that he didn't have to
look at me.

"Of what?" I asked.

"I already had some idea that I liked guys. I didn't want to make you that
way if you weren't." he said so quietly I could barely hear him.

"You can't do that!" I said. "You either are gay or you're not."

"I know that now." he said. "I didn't then. By the time I figured it out,
we were living here and we weren't sleeping together anymore. I was a
coward, okay? I just didn't want you to ever hate me!" he insisted, as he
looked up at me, his eyes pleading with me to understand.

I reached out with my arms, inviting him to come back and he lay down on
top of me once again. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his shoulder.

"I could never hate you. How could I hate a brother who'd crawl into my
crib to hold me in his arms?" I murmured into his ear.

At this, we both started laughing.

"I guess I wanted you even then." he said.

Then he kissed me passionately and we were both moaning into each other's
mouths. That kiss lasted a long time. I don't know how long but, when Brad
finally pulled his mouth from mine, I was desperate for breath. Brad,
however, just moved from my mouth to my neck and started moving down my
body using his tongue, lips and teeth to drive me practically insane with
desire for him.

When he got to my cock, he passed it by. Instead, he spread my legs and
pressed his face against my balls. I could hear him taking deep breaths of
my scent there before he began licking at my ball-sack with his tongue. I
moaned at the intense feelings that went shooting through my body. I was
trying hard not to cum but Brad was making it very difficult. He must have
known this, however, because he soon left off licking me there and,
instead, moved from between my legs until he was beside me.

"Turn over." he said, his voice husky with desire.

I didn't question, I just did as he said. He crawled on top of me once
again and I could feel his hard cock resting in the cleft of my butt. I
thought at first that he was going to fuck me but he began licking and
nibbling at my neck and shoulders. He moved down my back as he'd done the
front of my body until he reached my butt and began licking the cheeks. I
thrilled at this, grinding my cock against his bed and moaning. What he did
next, however, I didn't expect.

He pried open my butt-cheeks with his hands and I could hear him snorting
my scent there, deep in the crack of my butt, just like he'd done with my
balls and, just like that, he began licking deep in my trench, his tongue
gliding across the opening to my ass, causing me to thrash and moan in
ecstacy beneath him.

His hands held me down as his mouth continued to ravish my hole. I could
feel the tip of his tongue pressing against the opening until, slowly but
surely, it forced it's way inside of me. I pushed back with my ass, trying
to get as much of his tongue up me as I could. I could feel Brad moving
back letting me come up to my knees. This opened me up more and he was able
to really dig his tongue up inside of me.

"Oh, fuck! Yeah! Eat my ass! Don't stop! Please! Don't stop!" I begged.

Evidently, Brad had no intention of stopping. His tongue kept moving in and
out of my ass, fucking me. I loved the feeling! Nothing had ever felt like
this before! I'd always played with my butt while jacking off, even sliding
a well-lubed finger or two - or three - inside, but nothing compared to
Brad's mouth and tongue! Before I knew it, I was quivering with desire for
him to use something bigger, something longer.

He must have read my mind because, before I could even ask, he began
sliding one of his fingers into my hole beside his tongue. The combination
of his hard, slick finger and his raspy wet tongue had me out of my mind in
rut. I wanted more! I wanted his cock! I wanted him to fuck me!

"Fuck me, Brad! Fuck me!" I begged.

"Soon." was all he answered, taking his mouth out of my ass-crack for a
moment before returning to his eating me.

Without warning, he suddenly withdrew his tongue and his finger from my
butt and I could feel him move off the bed. I couldn't imagine what was
wrong! I looked around to see him approaching the side of the bed and the
night table there. He opened the drawer and pulled out a bottle with what
looked to be some clear liquid inside. He then moved back onto the bed
behind me, and I suddenly felt his fingers at my hole, spreading something
cool over it.

He was evidently lubing me up because the next thing I knew, he was sliding
two of his long, thick fingers up my ass. His were way thicker than mine
but, because of the lube, they glided inside me without any pain. As his
fingers slid further into my ass, they slid up against something inside me
and I felt a rush of feeling tear through me like I was going to cum any
second!

"Fuck! What was that?!" I exclaimed.

"Your prostate, Bro. Feels good doesn't it?" Brad's voice came from behind
me with a slight chuckle in it.

"Fuck! I nearly came!" I moaned.

"Just hang on. Wait 'til you feel my cock sliding up against it."

I couldn't imagine what that was going to feel like! I only knew that I
wanted desperately to know what that felt like! Brad slid his fingers in
and out of my hole, fucking me with them and then spreading them open to
help spread open my butt. Before I knew it, he was adding another finger
and slowly shoving all three deep inside me. I could feel him spreading
them, forcing my hole to loosen until his fingers were gliding in and out
with almost no resistance from my hole at all.

"I think you ready, Brian. Roll over on your back again." Brad's voice,
heavy with rut, ordered me.

I did as I was told and looked up at Brad, my brother who was about to
become the taker of my virginity. He smiled down at me, love and desire
warring in his eyes, his cock rampant and straining.

"I want to watch you as I make love to you." he said huskily.

He reached down and grabbed my legs, putting them across his broad,
muscular shoulders and then moved over me so that I was practically bent
double. Because of the difference in our height, this put his face right
above mine as he rested over me on his elbows.

"There might be some pain at first. If it gets too much for you, I'll
stop." he said.

I thought to myself, 'Oh, no you won't! I won't let you see that it hurts!
I'll die before I stop you!'

Brad reached down and brought his cock to the opening of my ass. He pressed
it firmly against my hole and with little or no resistance, it began
sliding inside of me. There was no pain, just a feeling of
fullness. Nevertheless, Brad took it very, very slowly allowing my hole to
get used to his rammer deep inside me. The further his cock went, the
better it felt. By the time it bottomed out in my hole and his pubic hair
was pressing against my very stretched opening, I was lost in the ecstatic
feeling of being taken by him and being totally possessed.

"Does it hurt?" he murmured.

"No! It feels wonderful!" I exclaimed.

He stayed there, buried all the way inside of me until my body adjusted to
him. I could feel my hole loosening and then Brad began to fuck me. He was
right, the feeling of his huge, thick cock sliding across my prostate was
incredible. It felt like I was on the verge of cumming the whole time he
was fucking me. However, he was fucking me gently - too gently to push me
over the edge into orgasm.

"Fuck me, Brad! Fuck me hard! Pound my ass!" I begged.

He grinned down at me as his hips shifted into overdrive. He was
pile-driving my butt like he was digging for oil! It took no time at all
and I knew that I was going to cum. I started moaning and babbling
incoherently, finally screaming out his name.

"BRAD!" I screamed as cum began to geyser from my cock, coating me and him
with white streaks.

"FUCK!" Brad cried out as I could feel his cock spasm in my ass as he
dumped load after load of his cum deep inside me.

Brad collapsed on top of me, his body warm and sweaty. His scent was
strong, as was my own and I was loving the mingling of them. I lay there,
my arms wrapped around him and wishing that we could just stay like this
and never, ever move. I loved the feeling of his larger body covering mine,
almost as if he were hiding me, protecting me. I loved the feeling of his
cock buried inside me, joining us in the most intimate way that two males
can join. I think he felt it, too, because he seemed to have no desire to
move or to withdraw from deep inside me.

"Am I too heavy for you, Brian." he murmured softly.

"No! I love the feeling of you like this." I assured him.

To emphasize what I was saying, I clamped down with the muscles of my ass
on his cock.  He grunted at this.

"You keep that up and you're gonna get fucked again." he chuckled.

So I did it again.

"Uhh! Okay, you asked for it!" he said and rose once again so that his
hands rested on the bed and his body was leaning over me.

He started to slowly fuck me once more, slowly drawing his cock out of my
hole until it was almost completely out and then slowly shoving it all the
way back in.

"Oh, yeah! Fuck me! Fuck me hard, Brad!" I begged, looking up into his
eyes.

"Whatever you say, babe!" he grinned and his hips once again began to
powerdrive his cock in and out of my ass.

I couldn't believe it. I hadn't cum twice in less than an hour in my
life. But, then again, I'd only cum jacking off. I had no experience with
fucking. All I knew was that I was headed once again towards orgasm and,
unless Brad stopped, it was going to be soon!

Brad kept plowing my butt, as I marveled at his strength and stamina. His
cock was like a steel spike covered in velvet as it speared me, sliding
deep inside me and creating feelings which not only were new but totally
indescribable as well. I had no idea that making love could feel like this
and, now that I knew it, I wanted Brad to fuck me every hour of every day
of the rest of our lives!

Had I not been so busy groaning at the feelings tearing through my body, I
would have chuckled at the wanton slut that Brad's cock had made me into in
just a short time! But a slut only for him. No one else in the world held
any interest for me, just as they never had. This was my dream come true -
my brother in love with me and making love to me.

While this fuck lasted slightly longer than the last one, it wasn't long
before both Brad and I were screaming out while I unloaded more of my cum
all over us and he deposited more of his deep inside my ass. He then
collapsed on top of me again, this time panting to get his breath back.  I
realized then what tremendous physical exertion Brad was expending in
fucking me. This time, I let him rest there and didn't try to get him to do
it again, even if I did want him to.

Finally, I could feel his cock soften and slowly slide from my hole. He
then rolled over onto the bed on his side, pulling me with him, locking me
in his arms. I buried my face in his sweaty chest and he rested his chin on
the top of my head. We lay there for the longest time, just holding onto
each other, neither of us saying a word. Both of us just reveling in
finally being together the way each of us had dreamed of being. I think
both of us were afraid to say anything, afraid to break the silence for
fear that this was all a dream and we would awaken and once more be alone.

After a while, we must have drifted off to sleep because I awoke and
noticed that the light that had been streaming through the window in Brad's
room had softened to that of twilight. Brad was still asleep, however, and
I raised my head to look at him. His head lay now on the pillow, his eyes
closed and his hair slightly tousled from the exertion of earlier. Asleep,
he still looked so much like the boy I had first come to love and admire
when we were children. My constant protector, my teacher, my love. I
reached up and gently brushed a lock of his hair that had fallen over his
forehead. At this, his eyes opened and he smiled at me.

"I was dreaming about you." he said, his voice husky from sleep.

"What were you dreaming?" I asked.

"I was dreaming that we were still in the old house and I was holding you
because you'd crawled into my bed from being scared of something."

"It wasn't always because I was scared."

"No?"

"No. Sometimes, it was just because I wanted you to hold me. I always said
I was scared because I didn't want you to know that." I finally confessed
after all these years.

He grinned at this.

"I always wanted you to sleep with me but I couldn't tell you that. I was
always grateful when something scared you enough to crawl into my bed. I
wish we'd never stopped."

"So what do we do now?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we're sleeping in separate rooms now. We can't very well tell Mom
and Dad that I get scared at night so I sleep with you."

"Why do we have to tell them anything?" he asked.

"What if they come and check on us in the middle of the night and find us
together?"

"They never do that." he stated emphatically.

"How do you know? What if they do it while we're asleep?"

"Can't happen." he said. "Their bedroom is downstairs."

"What's that got to do with it?" I asked, confused about why he was so
certain.

"Third step from the top squeaks. Haven't you ever noticed?"

"I knew one of them did. How'd you know which one?" I asked.

"Because I sometimes had to sneak home late so I didn't want to wake them
or you up.  Though why I bothered, I don't know. I could have set off an
M-80 next to your bed and you wouldn't have woken up, bro." he chuckled.

"Hey! How do you know?" I asked.

"Because you never woke up when I kissed you." he said quietly.

I looked at him in shock.

"You kissed me?" I asked. "When?!"

"Every night."

"Every night?" I asked in amazement.

"Every night I wait until you're asleep and then I sneak over and kiss you
good night." he said, sheepishly.

"For how long?"

"Ever since we moved here. In the old house, I only had to do it on the
nights when you didn't sleep with me." he admitted.

I just stared at him in amazement and awe. I'd never even thought of doing
that! Actually, I would have been too scared! I wouldn't have known what to
say if he'd woken up.

"So you can hear the step when it squeaks?" I asked, remembering how this
had all started.

"Yep. Trust me, they never come up here. I guess they think we're too old
to have to check on. After all, I'm legally an adult and you aren't that
far from it."

"Don't you think they'll notice something different about the way we act to
each other?  It's going to be awfully hard to hide how I feel about you
now." I said.

"No, I don't think so. I already have an explanation in mind." he grinned.

"Oh? And what's that?" I asked.

"Well, since I won't be dating anymore and we'll be spending a lot of time
together, I've decided to tell them about Boston U and tell them that we
have to make sure our grades continue to be excellent until the end of the
year. I'll tell them that we will be studying together so we'll have to
spend a lot of time together doing that." he smiled with a cocksure smile
at his own brilliance.

"And you think they're going to buy that?" I asked, incredulously.

"Why not? After all, to have both their sons attending an Ivy League school
for nothing, that's something any parent is going to practically kill for."
he said.

"I don't know..." I said, unsure that this explanation was really going to
work.

"Hey! Don't you trust me?" he said, looking somewhat hurt.

"Of course I trust you. I'm just scared of what would happen if they found
out the truth."  I said.

"Never happen." he said as his mouth once again found mine and I was lost
in his kiss.

We ended up making love twice more that night before our parents got
home. I think they were somewhat surprised to see us together. After all,
usually on a Saturday night, Brad was out with his friends or on a
date. They were used to seeing me because I never went anywhere. They
didn't say anything however.

What was really wonderful, however, was going to bed that night. For the
first time since we were little boys, it was in Brad's bed and, this time,
I didn't start out in my own. As we had walked up the stairs that night
after dinner, Brad had reached down and took my hand. Such a simple gesture
but it touched me deeply. Leading me by the hand, Brad took me to his room
and began to undress. I don't know why - not knowing what was up, I guess -
I just stood there while he did. Naked he turned and looked at me.

"Are you going to sleep fully dressed, Bro?" he smiled.

This shook me out of my torpor and I quickly stripped down. I didn't have
much to take off, considering I was only wearing a pair of jeans, a t-shirt
and some deck shoes without socks.  By that point, Brad was already in
bed. He simply held up the covers for me, the same way he'd done when we
were children and I slid into bed next to him. Unlike when we were
children, however, he pulled me into his arms and started nuzzling my neck,
licking and nibbling on me, sending shivers of delight through my body.

But he didn't stop there. Instead he continued down my body, just as he'd
done the first time he made love to me. But, instead of by-passing my cock,
this time he engulfed it with his mouth. I reacted to the warm moisture of
his mouth by thrusting up uncontrollably until my cock was completely
buried in him. I couldn't believe he was so easily able to handle my cock
sliding down his throat! After all, while I had inherited my looks and body
structure from my Mom, I had inherited one thing from our Dad, the same as
Brad had - a long, thick cock. Oh, Brad was longer than I was by what I
estimated to be a couple of inches, but I was just as thick as he was.

What dawned on me at that moment was that my older brother had not just
some experience with sucking cock - he had a LOT of experience at it! And
there was, as far as I knew, only one place he could have gained that
experience - his jock friends. I made a mental note to later ask him about
this but, right at that moment, I was not the least bit interested in
asking Brad anything because to do so would mean he would have to take my
cock out of his mouth to answer and that was the last thing I wanted him to
do! No! I wanted Brad to keep on sucking my cock - sucking it until I blew
my load down his throat! Something that I knew was going to happen quite
soon!

"Oh, fuck! Yeah, Brad! Suck my cock! Yeah! Eat me fuckin' up!" I groaned.

Brad's tongue was fucking lethal! I could feel it swirling around the head
of my cock every time his mouth rose up to the top of it. As he slid back
down, I could feel his nose bumping into my pubic hair and could hear the
deep snorts he was taking of my scent there. Of course, neither of us had
showered since that morning, despite making love all those times. It was a
wonder that our parents hadn't noticed the scents that each of us were
giving off!

Suddenly, Brad started groaning and growling deep in his throat while he
continued to suck my cock. This sent the most delicious vibrations through
my cock and triggered the explosion that I had known was coming any minute.

"Fuck! I'm gonna cum! Yeah! Eat my load!" I groaned as my cock began
shooting my cum deep into Brad's sucking mouth.

I don't know how many shots of cum that I unloaded into Brad's mouth. I
couldn't have cum all that much - not after all the times I'd gotten off
that afternoon with him but it seemed to be enough to satisfy him because
he finally pulled off my softening cock with a grin on his face while
licking his lips.

"Sweet, Bro! Just like I thought it would be!" he grinned.

"I thought you were only allowed to eat your own cum?" I asked, looking at
him with an evil grin.

"Oh fuck! I should have known you'd remember that!" he grimaced.

"Well, at least now we're even." I laughed.

"No we aren't. You may have tasted my cum, but you never sucked my cock."
he said.

"And I suppose you expect me to rectify that situation right now?" I asked,
cockily.

"Right the fuck now!" he said with equal cockiness.

"Okay, but I've gotta warn you - I've never done this before so I don't
know if I'll be any good at it."

"Never? You've never sucked cock before?" he asked.

"No. Never. Why did you think I had?" I asked.

"Well...it's just that...well, this afternoon..." he fumbled and then
looked at me in shock.  "You mean you were a virgin!"

"Of course I was a virgin! I've never had sex in my life. The closest I
ever came to it was that night when you taught me to jack off and you let
me do you." I said.

"But, Bro, I thought that somewhere along the line..." he started.

"Well, you thought wrong. Where did you learn to suck cock, by the way? I
noticed you're awfully damned good at it. Your jock friends?" I asked.

"Well...yeah. There's a few of the guys that get together and we kind of
relieve each other's tensions - if you get my drift." he said sheepishly.

"Oh, I get your drift all right. Are you going to continue to get together
with them?" I asked, afraid of what the answer might be.

"Fuck no! Why would I? I told you that you were the only one I ever really
wanted. Now that I have you, I don't need anyone else. Period." Brad swore.

"Are you sure? I don't want you saying that because you think it's what I
want to hear." I said.

"Yes, I'm sure! But, what about you? You've never had sex with anyone but
me. How do you know that you aren't going to want to experiment a little,
find out what you've been missing?" he asked.

"Because I was never interested in anyone but you. No one else interested
me in the least.  I figured that I'd probably end up all alone while you
went off and got married." I said, shuddering at the thought of my
continuing nightmare on that subject.

Brad just stared at me. It was like he was seeing me for the first time in
his life. Then the most amazing thing happened. I saw tears running down
Brad's face! I'd never seen my brother cry! Ever! In fact, when he was
about seven, he fell out of a tree while we were playing and he broke his
arm. Even then, he didn't cry. He just sat there holding his arm while I
ran and got Mom. We took him to the hospital where Dad joined us. Dad
stayed with me in the waiting room while Mom went back into the treatment
room to be with Brad. I heard them discussing it later when we got
home. Mom was amazed at the fact that Brad never cried. Not even when they
gave him this huge shot into the bone of the broken arm to deaden it while
they set it.

But he was sitting there with tears rolling down his cheeks. I didn't know
what to do or say. I reached out and gently put my hand on his cheek.

"What is it, Brad? Why are you crying?" I asked.

It took him a while to answer.

"Brian, I am so sorry! I had no idea that you were waiting for me! I wanted
you but I just didn't have the courage to tell you. I was so afraid you'd
hate me for it.  I never thought that you wouldn't want anybody but me." he
said, hanging his head.

I reached out my hand and lifted his chin until his eyes met mine.

"Brad, I was just as scared to tell you. We both were waiting for the other
one. I just never believed that you could ever love me the way I love you."
I said gently.

Brad reached out, took me in his arms and kissed me gently.

"Bro, I promise you. I will spend my life making you know how much I love
you."

"Brad...you do remember teaching me how to jack off?" I asked quietly.

"Of course I do! That's one of my best memories. I used to jack off
thinking of that night with you all the time. I loved teaching you." he
grinned.

"Well...looks like you need to teach me how to suck your cock. I want to do
it right. I want you to love the way I do it for you. I want to learn to
give you the best blow job you've ever had." I smiled.

Bran grinned at me.

"Oh, no problem, Bro! I'll be glad to teach you!"

And he did. I loved every moment of it. I loved the taste of him, the scent
of him. What I had trouble with, though, was the size of him. I remember it
took me months to learn how to finally deep throat him. Brad didn't mind
though. He was a very patient teacher. Part of the reason it took so long
is that we didn't do it as much as Brad fucking me. That's what I loved
best and it seemed he did, too. We usually sucked each other's cocks at
night before we went to sleep. That way, there'd be no mess to clean up
afterwards. And, sometimes we'd do it in the morning. I loved waking Brad
up with my mouth on his cock. That is, if he wasn't spooned behind me with
his big cock poking me in the butt, waking me up. Then I'd wake him up with
his cock buried in my ass. Sometimes, Brad would wake me up with a blow job
but he always kidded me about how hard I was to wake up. There were times
that I actually slept through it and didn't wake up until I came!

It was during Sunday dinner, the next night, that Brad brought up the offer
from Boston University. At first, I could see that Mom was having some
problems with it. Dad, however, loved the idea. I think especially the 'no
cost' to them part. And maybe the part about getting us both out of the
house and he and Mom having it all to themselves. Mom, however, I think was
already mourning the loss of both of her sons at once. I guess she wasn't
ready for that to happen. In the end, however, they both agreed that it was
a wonderful offer and one that no one in their right mind would turn down -
especially since it would mean that, as Brad pointed out to them, he would
be there to look after me. He even told them that he had arranged it so
that we would be rooming together in the same dorm room. Strangely enough,
that's what seemed to finally sell them on the idea.

Since they didn't have to spend any money on us for tuition, room or books,
Mom and Dad did several things for us. They first of all set up a joint
checking account for us, that they will contribute to monthly, so that we
would have money for things that we need. They also bought us both laptops
as they would be better for college than our old desktop models. For Brad's
graduation, they sold both our used cars and bought us a brand new truck so
that we could drive to Boston with our stuff for our dorm room. They at
first were unsure about buying us just one vehicle but we convinced them
that it was all we would need. That both of us could use it and there
wouldn't be any problems. They knew that growing up, unlike a lot of
brothers, we'd never had difficulty sharing with each other so that kind of
clinched the deal.

As I write this, the truck is packed and we leave for Boston in the
morning. We plan to take our time and make some detours to see sights that
we both want to see. We also plan to stay in several motels, but you can
imagine what we'll be doing in them!

This is the last thing that I'll write on this old computer, I guess. Brad
is lying in bed, waiting for me to join him. The months that we've spent
loving each other, here at home, have only made our love for each other
grow deeper and deeper. Now, we are both excited about this new adventure
of really beginning our lives together.

Sitting beside me on the desk are five paper Valentines, each with a
different Winnie-the- Pooh character. Pooh, Tigger, Piglet, Owl and Rabbit
all asking to be my Valentine and, on the back, each one with the simple
words, written in purple ink, "I love you." But now, each one is signed -
"Brad".

The End of THE PAPER VALENTINE

If you liked the story, please write me at rimpigfl@yahoo.com

This is, by my count, my 69th story on the Nifty website. If you'd like a
complete listing of them, write me and I'll be glad to send it to you.

I WILL NO LONGER HAVE A NOTIFY LIST!!!

Instead, there is now a Yahoo Group that you can join where you will find
links to all of my stories and the illustrations to BUDDY SYSTEM and to
DANGEROUS MARINE. I will ONLY Notify people who are members of the group
about my new stories.

To join the group, go to:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Rim_Pigs_Stories/

I also have a "blog" called THE PIG TROUGH where I do more serious writing
about life and everything in it. You can reach it at
http://www.livejournal.com/users/rimpig/

As always, I ask if you liked the story to make a contribution to Nifty to
keep the site running and free!

Thank you.

RimPig