Date: Sun, 28 Mar 2004 23:51:48 +0800
From: paul sung <psun@hotmail.com>
Subject: New Year 10

DISCLAIMER
==========
This is a work of fiction; any resemblance to persons living or dead is
entirely coincidental. The author asserts all legal and moral rights
(copyright (c) 2004 - psun@hotmail.com) to this work and you may not
copy it or transmit it in any way except in its entirety and with this
disclaimer. This story features descriptions of sex between males:

- if such material is prohibited in your jurisdiction, please DO NOT READ ON,
- if you're under the legal age to read such material, please DO NOT READ ON,
- if you don't like, or are offended by such material, please DO NOT READ ON.

And any comments - brickbats or bouquets, send them over to
psun@hotmail.com And if you find that you like what you're reading, visit
my page at http://www.geocities.com/savante_2002


Coming out of the closet.

Even the phrase had my balls shrinking - as James would no doubt say in
his not-so-subtle way. As I peeked down through the dripping water to
double-check, I hoped it was either that or the freezing cold water from
the shower. I found it funny that the oddest thoughts frequently cropped
up when I was in a shower alone.

Coming out to my friends and family had never been an issue for me. It
just never came up - and I figured if I wasn't an active exponent of
homosexuality, what was there to reveal? Fooling myself, I'd promised
myself that all would be revealed once I had someone in my life. But now
I was actively involved with a man and I couldn't deny the fact that I
was helplessly in love with him. Although I certainly knew it wasn't a
competition, the tally for my own coming out was a paltry three. One was
my brother, one was my best friend and the third was the man fucking me.

Thinking of the man lying naked in my bed under the covers only had me
going hard in spite of the cold. It was difficult not to have a reaction
when it came to James Burbridge Sung. He'd answered the door last night
dressed in only his tight white briefs, his luscious lips curled up in a
self-satisfied smile, and that was all it took for me to drop my
briefcase and tumble him onto the carpet. I was being corrupted and I
loved it.

As I ran the soap down my chest and noted the marks he'd made last night,
I sighed. It was easy for James. The man was a sexual animal and I had
the scars from last night to prove it. Everyone expected him to fuck
everything in sight, regardless of the equipment between the legs, and he
certainly lived up to their expectations. But this was me, John Sung, and
I was more well known for my maturity, poise and control than my rampant
sexual libido. As my brat of a brother loves to remind me, everyone else
imagined that I was some asexual being without any prurient desires
whatsoever. If only they knew, I smiled to myself. If only they'd seen me
shove Mr Underwear Model onto the dining table and munching my way
through his briefs.

"Talking to yourself, John?"

As a hairy, well-muscled arm twisted itself around my waist, I stifled a
squeal. "James!"

"Scared you, stud?" Using his arm to twist me around in the shower, I
found myself face to face with the object of my affection - and lust.
Pleased with himself, James flashed a lazy grin. "I felt lonely. You
should have waked me up."

I'd left him earlier curled up in the sheets, looking so smug and
self-satisfied with himself that I'd felt guilty about waking him.
Anyway, I had my own plans this morning and he certainly wouldn't enjoy
being dragged out of bed at such an unconscionable hour. "I didn't think
waking up early constituted normal Sunday behaviour for James Burbridge
Sung."

"My boyfriend's rubbing off on me." He said in a dead-pan voice as he
playfully rubbed his hard, naked body against mine. "What are you up to
this morning?"

As he stepped easily into the shower to join me, my brows creased in
worry. What the hell was he doing in here? "Breakfast at my parents.
Uhh.. why don't you just go brush your teeth and I'll be out in a sec."

Looking up into the spray, he closed his eyes and ran his fingers into
his hair, slicking the thick black curls back. "Help the environment.
Let's conserve the water."

"Look, there's no need to do that." And it was true. I certainly made
enough money to pay the utility bills. There was no need for the both of
us to stuff ourseleves in my cramped shower. There was the bath after
all.

One dark brown eye flickered open to look at me carefully. "Are you
uncomfortable, Johnny?"

I started to deny it only to have him start to tickle me. I tried to
stifle something close to a giggle and shoved him away. "Get out. Wait
your turn."

Pulling away, he cocked his head to the side and looked at me closely.
Heavy dark brows lifted in suspicion. "You've got to be kidding me. Fuck,
are you blushing?"

"I'm not." At least I hoped I wasn't. I couldn't be although I found it
unusual sharing space in my shower with a man and I told him so. "It's
just weird sharing a bath with.."

"The guy who fucked you?" James said, his grin widening. His dark eyes
glinted with amusement as he came up with more examples. "The guy who's
seen you naked and panting for more? The guy who's licked you from.."

"Shut up."

Resting his forehead gently against mine, he chuckled softly. "Mmm.. I
love this. I knew the prude was still around here somewhere." Easily
batting my protesting hands aside, James gently reached around me and
pressed me against the tiles.

"James, let's just get out of the .." I shuddered as his marvellous
fingers began a feather-light dance across my chest.

I began to moan softly as he started an assault on my nipples. Jolts of
desire shot straight down to my groin and I tried to back away but found
myself backed against the wall. "How does that go? You can grope me when
I'm in the shower but I can't do the same? Double standards, Mr - or
should I say - Dr Sung?"

He referred to the one embarassing time I'd been so overcome with lust
that I'd practically cornered him in his bathroom. Unfortunately, my
brother had interrupted us before we'd progressed far and James obviously
wanted to finish it. "That's different."

"How is that?" There was a wicked little smile on his handsome face and I
knew the bastard was struggling not to laugh. With his upper body
strength, he had me easily pinned on the tiled walls as the cold spray
slapped across my face. James put his clever mouth to good use, running
down the edge of my jaw, pressing warm, tempting little nibbles. "How is
that different, Mr Sung?"

"It just is. And drop the subject." I warned him, struggling against his
hold. It was like fighting against steel bonds and I damned James and his
strict gym regime. And then he bucked his leans hips against mine and
faced with the urgent, hard, dripping reality of James Sung, I forgot all
about what I was saying.

Clamping my wrists tightly in one of his larger hands, he used one of his
hands to move lower down my chest. His lips swept upwards to my left ear
and his warm, wet tongue pulsed into my earlobe. "Forceful. I love that
in a man."




"Good God, James, you get better looking every time I see you. What the
hell is in the water here?"

That was Raffiee Nordin or as we called him, Rafe. A short, balding,
pudgy fellow with a nasty, sarcastic tongue - and near perfect timing.
Three years ago in a dingy gay bar in the Bukit Bintang area, he tried to
hit on me with a lecherous grin, a suggestive grope of my ass and a
particularly lewd but imaginative come-on. It didn't gain Rafe the
one-night-stand that he originally wanted but both of us gained a good
friend. Underneath that veneer of bawdy humour and camp was a man with
surprisingly high moral values and apart from the ubiquitous John and
Leela, he was one of the few who managed to keep me on the straight and
narrow with his own version of tough love.

Platonic friendship however didn't stop him from hitting on me again -
and again. Each of our meetings seemed to be an opportunity for him to
grope me and I threatened sexual assault charges each time. Steeling
myself for some hard-to-explain bruises on my ass, I braved the assault.
Grabbing the front of his shirt, I dragged him inside with a warm smile.
"Shut the fuck up and come in, Rafe."

"How the hell do you do manage to look so good, you ex-junkie?" Running
his envious gaze over my body, Rafe exclaimed with dismay. His pudgy lil
hands crept up to paw my chest and I nudged him away. "Damn, these pecs
are hard as a rock!"

"Get your hands off my tits." I pried his hands away good-naturedly and
invited him in. I'd just ended my morning workout half an hour ago and
when Leena and Rafe had called to drop by, I just pulled on a simple
T-shirt and shorts after a quick shower. After all, we were never that
formal with each other anyway - and Rafe would probably enjoy the eye
candy anyway. "You know, if you'd only do as I say and follow me to the
gym every once in a while and..."

"Did you really say gym?" Stubbornly, Rafe closed his ears with his hands
and chanted a mantra to himself. In his brightly-coloured satiny shirt,
he looked a sight. In a world where Muslim men in the country were
turning their backs on so-called materialistic, secular-minded Western
values in the search for spirituality, Rafe Nordin was certainly unique.

Giving him a meaningful poke at his flabby arms, I grinned. Every once so
often, Rafe would moan about putting on weight and promise to stick
steadfastly to the punishing diet program I'd painstakingly outline for
him. And each time, he'd fall off the wagon after eyeing the perfect
calorie-loaded cheesecake seduction. Ever since I'd known him, Rafe never
had any sense of self-control when it came to sinful desserts - and
heartless men. Including me.

Behind him, Leena came in looking fresh as a daisy despite the early
hours. Going casual for the weekend, the glamorous club owner had toned
down her gloss somewhat but she still looked quite the picture. Her dark
eyes twinkled with fun as she followed in Rafe's wake. "Sorry I had to
bring the lil perv, James. He has been hounding me.."

"What's up, guys?" I asked curiously. For recent times, it was a valid
question. Although we used to meet up quite often before, we hadn't done
so in a while especially with Leena's recent marriage and my
going-back-to-school. I still saw Leena quite often but since Rafe got
invovled with his new comedy skit at the Coffee Club, it had been harder
to get all three of us together. "Not that I don't want you guys here but
you're definitely making me suspicious."

"We wouldn't have to come all this way if you weren't hiding things from
us." Never one to keep things to himself, Rafe came straight to the
point. "Who is the man who has bewitched my divine heartless beauty? Tell
all to Uncle Raphie."

Bewitched seemed to be the right word for it, I smiled to myself. A man
had well and truly bewitched me and his name was John Sung. Long-legged,
brown-eyed, tight-assed hunk. Just the image of him had me smiling
foolishly like an idiot. Just this morning, he'd dragged himself out of
bed for his regular Sunday breakfast with his parents before going to
mass. Of course I made sure he left with something hot and appetizing.
There had been some talk of meeting up with his sister so I knew he
wouldn't be back till late. Just enough time for me to prepare a
particularly appetizing dinner.

"Someone has obviously been carrying tales. Just come here and kiss me,
you crazy gay man." Tugging him close, I gave him a light peck on his
lips. As his hands reached for my ass, I swatted them away. "Hands to
yourself, Rafe."

Rafe's voice came out in a whimper. "Leena, he kissed me. I think I just
came in my pants."

"Shut up, Rafe," we both replied in unison.

Each time I swear it's the last time and each time he still manages to
grope me. As he managed a quick pinch of my butt, I pushed him away with
a laugh. It was great to see both of them together and it had been ages
since we'd done anything together. Leena with her recent marriage and her
new club. Rafe with his fledgling comedy act. And of course, me.

Me, with my multiple personality defects, tragic family history and of
course not forgetting my cute, pinchable butt.

Tripping over to the spacious living room, Rafe plopped down on the sofa
and tossed down the cardboard roll he'd carted along. "What have you been
doing with yourself, you beautiful man?"

"Don't be so camp, darling." Leena punched him as she took the seat
beside him.

Manners drilled into me would dictate that I should offer some form of
refreshment but knowing that they were informal enough with me, I got
myself seated. Flashing a flirtatious smile, I sent Rafe a wink. "I'm
saving myself for you, Rafe."

"James Burbridge. You tempt me, you really do." He sighed, his eyes
closed - no doubt filled with awfully lurid images of me and I would be
tempted to ask for a description if I could possibly stomach them. But I
was afraid that when it came to Rafe Nordin's X-rated images of me, I was
scared shitless and not afraid to admit it. Hopelessly hitting on me was
an ongoing gag with Rafe but I knew full well that he'd run screaming if
I were to put the moves back on him. Mooning over desirable, unattainable
men seemed to be his thing. Intrigued by his particular brand of humour,
a really hot number once asked for him but Rafe freaked out over him.
Wonder what happened to that guy...

Satisfied that he'd gotten my attention, Rafe bent down and retrieved the
roll. "If only that were true, then I'd have all of this to myself."

Snatching the cardboard roll from him, I tore it out and stared down at
the poster of myself in all my glory. It was hard not to stare. Trust me
on this but it's totally different when you're just taking the shots,
posing in a pair of embarassingly small underwear under sweltering lights
wearing slick sweat and oil and taking orders from nameless guys behind
the cameras. Then it's just hard, sweaty work that seems a little silly -
but then you see yourself out there, every bit of yourself blown up
almost life-sized, near-naked and in glorious technicolour. Blood rushed
to my face as I quickly rolled the poster back. Fuck, I couldn't be
blushing. "My God, you're embarassing me."

"I think it captures your best assets quite perfectly." Rafe nodded
wisely.

Since I was squeezed into a stamp-sized patch of cotton and little else,
it wasn't too difficult understanding his point. I knew I was reasonably
good-looking, it was only my damned genes after all, and the flattering
come-ons I'd received only proved the point but it was different having
your best friends stare at you in your underwear. Sure, I might work hard
to maintain an enviable physique but that certainly didn't mean I wanted
my best friends to get a peek at me in the altogether. It was just...
weird. Giving him a light whack on his knee with the roll before shoving
it back to him, I said softly. "Asshole."

Laughing at the jibe, he handed it back to me. "Nah, I've got a copy of
your fine ass hanging in my bedroom. You keep this."

A terrifying thought. Trying my best not to imagine what he did with a
poster of me in my underwear, I shook my head. "Oh my God, I did not need
to know that. What the hell do you do - no, don't tell me, I don't want
to know. Anyway, what the hell am I gonna do with it?"

Leena grinned. "Oh, I think you know."

She could only be meaning one man. Imagining John Sung drooling over the
poster of me was mind-boggling to say the least ... but then again the
man had given me a serious rug-burn on my ass just three nights ago.
There was a kinky pervert deep inside that suit that just needed the
right push to set free. Giving her a wicked grin in reply, I nodded. "You
know what, I think you might be right."

"You look deliriously happy. Quite unlike your usual asshole self." Rafe
said suspiciously. "Are you back on the happy pill?"

Reaching over, I gave him a shove. "Fuck you!"

"That is my one wish." He shivered in response at the very idea. Not
missing a beat, he then lifted a limp hand to his forehead and moaned
fatalistically. "But it's too late. You're seeing someone. Oh, I knew
that horrible day would come."

"Yeah, yeah. How the hell did you find out?"

Pretending that he had a lint on his shoulder, Rafe picked carefully at
his clothes. "My dear, you asked for my opinion on clothes. You have
never done that previously and God knows, you look good in anything - and
nothing. Therefore special emergency - and special man. So who is it?"

Almost panicked, I turned to Leena to meet her surprised look. It was one
thing to tell my friends I was in the beginnings of a relationship with
John and far different to shove him out of the closet. For reasons better
known to himself, John wished to remain closeted and although I puzzled
over it, I respected that decision. The only two people - apart from me -
that he'd shared his secret was his brother Jonathan and his best friend,
Dev. Both of them could be counted on to remain mum about his confidence.
Picking my words carefully, I replied slowly. "I'm sorry but I'm not at
liberty to.."

My poor attempt to mislead him only had him grinning unapologetically.
Leaning back on the seat, he looked at me with a satisfied grin. "It's
your cousin, that intense, buttoned-up hunk with the large stick up his
cute ass. Now we know whose stick he has in there."

It was the second time someone had guessed and I stared at him with some
surprise. Earlier, Leela had made the same educated guess and I still
didn't know how she'd managed to come to the same conclusion. Was it that
obvious? Did I have John's distinctive brand seared on my naked ass? Did
I moon over him like a lovesick schoolgirl in the throes of her first
rose-tinted crush? Was I that hopelessly transparent?

"It is him, isn't it? Always thought he was hot in his own way." Leaning
forward eagerly, Rafe asked me again, his wicked eyes bright with
curiousity. "What's the name again? Something with J."

"How the hell," I muttered softly. Seems like everyone in the family had
a name with a J but then again...

"Do I look fat - and stupid to you, pretty boy?"

This was getting out of hand. If they knew, did that mean that everyone
knew? Did everyone I meet recognize the name tattooed in Arial on my
forehead? Hopefully, I chanced a glance at Leena who just shrugged in
reply. "Don't look at me, James, I certainly didn't tell him."

"I have eyes."

I made a faint protest. "But we..."

"You've been in love with Mr Tight-ass for years, James."

The last statement came from Leena and it was at the tip of my tongue to
make a fervent protest but I found that I couldn't make such a denial. It
was the truth after all. And perhaps something that I hadn't even
realized myself until almost a year ago. Perhaps it had always been
there, a special bond between us, so very strong and unbreakable it
seemed when we were both young boys. Those warm feelings from long ago
had been crusted over by a scab of anger and resentment for so many years
that I'd failed to see it for what it truly was.

In love with Mr Tight-ass. What the hell was wrong with me? There were
tons of guys at the clubs who'd drop their pants in a second for me and I
had to get myself heads-over-heels in love with John Sung. Damn, if I'd
come to that realization years back, I wouldn't have had to go through
what I'd gone through. Rule-abiding Miss Manners John Sung certainly
wouldn't have let the man sleeping in his bed go around shooting crap and
God-knows-what-else in his veins. He wouldn't have been able to beat the
crap out of me but he'd certainly try his level best. Tossing a grateful
smile at my friends, I nodded. "My God, I think you guys are right."

"Sure we are," Leena replied easily.

The response came so quickly and naturally that I had to find out.
"Dammit, why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you you're madly in love with the man you claimed to hate?" The
faintly indignant tone in my voice made her laugh. Leaning forward on her
seat, she reached over and patted me on the cheek gently. "And spoil your
fun all those years when you kept whining and bitching about John?"

"I didn't whine or bitch," I stated slowly.

At least I hoped not.

"Oh yes, you did," Rafe chimed in helpfully. "Curse and swear, you did."

Okay, so I did whine and bitch. It was difficult not to do so when a
muscular, dead-sexy tight-ass kept brow-beating one into submission. And
not even in a good way. There was so much unholy glee in Rafe's voice
that I eyed him balefully. "Yoda, stuff it."

Keeping her glance aimed above my forehead, Leena said quietly, "But then
you'd go out and buy him gifts. So many small happy coincidences like
you'd suddenly recall his birthday even though you can barely recall
where you parked your car. You'd get him chapatti from some obscure stall
since you know he'd starve to death otherwise. You'd pick up on the fact
that he just happened to like the book you were holding."

"They were just that. Coincidences. It's not the way you think, Leela," I
protested half-heartedly. At least I hoped not. Put it like that, it
certainly did seem suspicious but it never seemed like that at the time.
God, if it was true, I'd been a fucking sentimental ass all this time.
Sure, the man might be a pain-in-the-ass but there were times through the
years when I'd felt in charity with him. Thinking of the lanky elf
perched on his desk, I half-smiled. "I hope."

"Trust me, they weren't just coincidences." Leaning across to lay her
hand on mine, Leena stated confidently. "You already cared for him,
sweetie. Only took you some time for your head to catch up with your
heart."

"You sound like fucking Oprah." It seemed to be an inescapable fact and
for some unknown reason, that annoyed me. I growled. "And dammit, I am
nobody's sweetie."

"And he's also hot," Rafe added, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

That was the first time I'd heard Rafe speak about him and it got me
thinking. Sure, John would have heard me mentioning Rafe's name but I
doubt the two had actually met. "And how would you know that? You've
barely seen him."

Easing himself into his seat, he gave me a sly look, his dark eyes
gleaming. "Darling, I make it my point to check out all the cute closeted
guys in town. Sure, next to you, he might look like mincemeat but then
everyone looks terrible next to you, pretty boy. But when he struts
around Sung Tower by himself in that suit... oo-la-la.." Closing his eyes
in homage to picture the salacious image, Rafe rubbed his hands together
gleefully. "Nice ass."

"I've got to agree." Leena giggled.

I glared at Rafe. "I don't like the fact that you're drawing hideous
X-rated images of my boyfriend."

"Nothing hideous about it." Rafe grinned as he licked his lips
salaciously.

"I'm the jealous type. He's still my boyfriend so quit it."

"God, that I'd live to hear the day James Burbridge says boyfriend!"
Unfazed by my radioactive glare, he just laughed. Uncrossing his legs,
Rafe leaned forward on his seat and met my gaze dead-on. Holding my
attention, he said slowly. "So, tell me, how's the sex?"

"I'm not telling you!" I answered, aghast. Giving him a light shove back
into his seat, I laughed. Although I might occasionally offer brief
glimpses of my admittedly active sex life, I felt odd telling him about
my nightly romps with John. If John ever found out that I'd been
discussing his innovative techniques in bed with Rafe, he'd be livid for
sure.

"Oh, come on, let me live vicariously through you," he complained.
"You're not suddenly turning into a prude, are you?"

That's twice someone had accused me of it and I stared back in shock.
Damn, guess John really is rubbing off on me.