Date: Sat, 16 Nov 2013 23:19:54 -0600
From: Naked Guy <ihateclothes@gmail.com>
Subject: My Twisted Boyfriend PT 26

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My Twisted Boyfriend (sequel to Twisted Next Door Neighbors) PT 26

(Fiction/fantasy, teen/college romance, incest)

June remained horribly hot.  The spring rains and humidity from the
beginning of the month left and the heat remained.  It barely rained
as July approached.  I was thankful for the new air conditioner at
home.  My job, however, was another story.  Because it was very
uncomfortable at work, Isaac did his best to keep fans going.
Unfortunately, there wasn't any way to effectively cool several open
air bays in the garage.  He allowed us to wear khaki shorts and
provided us with new t-shirts with the garage's name on it in place of
the usual cotton uniform shirts.  The new work clothes were lighter
and cooler in comparison to the original uniform, but we were still
miserable.

Dean had made up his mind to major in Art Studies and was figuring out
how many classes he could take at the community college before having
to transfer to the university.  As for the summer, he decided to take
the rest of if off and just work and save up his money.  He had been
at his job long enough to earn some paid time off hours and I was
entitled to two weeks of vacation.  So, we decided to take our first
trip together without any family.  After many discussions, we decided
to go to California and back in a week.

I spent the week before our trip tuning up my car.  Dean got on the
internet and looked up the best route to take.  I left planning of the
trip to him completely.  Mom and Charlie gave us all kinds of warnings
and tips for our cross country adventure.  Jim told us to have fun but
to keep our dicks in our pants.  The twins were going to a
skateboarding camp in Austin (taxied by Jim), so they didn't care
about our trip at all.

We left a week after the July 4th holiday weekend.  It made sense to
go after it because motel rates would decrease by that time and less
people would be out on the road.  When the time finally came, we left
at 5am on a Monday morning.  I wanted to get out on the road before
the heat got bad so I packed the car the night before.  If we'd taken
everything that Dean had originally wanted to pack, the car would have
been full.  I narrowed it down to the basics but let him bring his
laptop and other gadgets to keep him preoccupied.

When the alarm went off, I had to push him out of bed but he finally
sat up and pulled on some shorts.  He staggered out to my car in a
sleepy daze.  When I locked up the house and got back in the car, he
was totally asleep.  I really didn't care--I wasn't a morning person
either and didn't feel like gabbing.  I went over my checklist in my
head one more time and we finally drove out.  I put on some music and
turned it low.  Dean didn't stir.  He didn't wake up until way after
the sun rose.

- - -

After stopping for coffee and donuts, the two of us were wide awake
and generally in a good mood.  Dean was the official map reader, so he
was constantly reading off names of towns that we would be
approaching.

"Only in Texas can you drive over five hundred miles and still be in
the same damn state," he remarked.

"Well, we're not driving to El Paso until our stop in New Mexico...I'm
hoping the scenery changes before we get to New Mexico," I answered.

"Me too...because this part is boring as fuck."

We were driving through the flat farmlands past ancient, rural, and
small towns while heading toward the Texas and New Mexico border.  Our
first stop was to see the caves at Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico.
Dean had always wanted to see them and had showed me photos of them
from the internet.  I hoped that he would perk up because he'd mostly
complained about the tedious scenery for half of the trip.  It was a
relief to me when he finally fell asleep again.

Having left so early, we still had time to tour the caverns after we
arrived.  Driving  70-80 MPH most of the time didn't hurt either.  I
didn't wake him up after we had entered the desert.  He was really
surprised to see it when he woke up.

"Oh wow, look at that!" he said excitedly about the alien terrain.
"This is like another planet!"

I had to agree with him--the land had a rugged and dry beauty to it.
Neither of us had been west of Texas before, so the scenery was quite
alien.  He got his phone out and snapped photos through the window.
I slowed down some to allow him to take better photos.  The land on
either side of the small highway was mainly flat.  This wasn't the
type of desert with smooth sands and dunes but one with lots of random
green clumps of grass, little gnarly branched twigs, and scattered
cacti of different varieties.  Few plants were more than a couple of
feet high.

Dean stayed awake for the remainder of the drive.  As we drove on, the
landscape in distance of both sides of the road began to fill with
more ravines and became less flat.  Now and then, we saw some kind of
strip mining sites here and there with trucks driving out of them
heading the opposite direction.  We saw almost no homes for miles.
Dean put on some music that was appropriate to the scenery.  As we
drove on, his hand slid into mine on my lap.  He was happy.

- - -

Eventually, we crossed the Pecos River and entered the town of
Carlsbad.  The downtown area looked similar to very old Texas towns
with very old buildings still in use and refurbished.  A striking
difference in the architecture was the use of stucco on homes and
offices which sported an "adobe" motif.  There was a lot of greenery
alongside the river with people sitting or jogging on a nearby
sidewalk.  I eyed a hot and sweaty shirtless dark skinned guy running
near the road.  His dick bounced in his shorts.  I got hard thinking
about taking his cock from his wet shorts and pushing my nose in his
dank pubes.

"Watch the road, dude!" Dean said.

A motorcycle had pulled into our lane and was going extremely slow.
I'd been busted for ogling the runner, but we were always checking out
eye candy...so I didn't think it was a big deal.  We continued driving
and I asked Dean how far we were from the caverns.

"You gotta drive out of town.  It's further south from here."

So, we drove out of town back onto the highway until Dean told me to
turn off onto another road.  It was a small two lane road with no
shoulders.  We passed a small deer that had been hit by a car.  Dean
looked sadly at it as we passed it.  Eventually, we rounded a bend and
the park was up ahead.  Dean put his shirt and shoes on and brushed
his hair in the side mirror.  I pulled on my shirt and went inside and
paid for our admission.  I was surprised at the exterior landscape.  I
never would have guess there were caves below us.  The land was
hilly...I'd expected mountains instead.

Minutes later, we were walking down into the caverns' natural opening.
 I had paid for small headsets that allowed you to hear recorded
information about the formations as we passed them.  It was very
interesting entering the cave from its natural opening and walking
down into the dark and cool depths.  The formations and the lighting
inside were spooky and surreal.  Dean was awed like a kid and was
constantly pointing over at something for me to see.  He tried to take
several pictures before realizing it was rather dark for his iphone.
In the end, he gave up and just enjoyed the views.

We got lots of good exercise walking around the caves.  My legs needed
it after driving for over seven hours.  The temperature inside was a
little cool for Dean, but I loved it.  I enjoyed seeing him happy and
animated.  When we rounded a dark corner, I playfully grabbed his ass.
 He turned around and gave me a quick kiss.  An older couple came
around behind us at that moment and I heard her say to her husband,
"oh god, more of those!".

I didn't get mad.  I just laughed it off.  Dean didn't even hear them
and was already moving up to the next formation.  It took us two hours
to see everything that was possible to view.  Once done, we took an
elevator to the ground level and bought some post cards.  While we
were in the gift shop, the stuff older couple came in. I grabbed
Dean's hand and let them see me holding it.  The woman rolled her
eyes.  Dean just gave me a surprised looked and smiled big.  I looked
back at her and thought to myself, "fuck you bitch!"  I think she
understood my glance and nervously looked away.

"Oh my god, I could live down there!" Dean said as we paid for our cards.

"Yeah, it's really bad ass!" I agreed.

My stomach began to growl, so I could only think of food.  We drove
into town again and found a small Mexican restaurant and each ate a
large meal.  My heart warmed to hear Dean still going on and on about
the cave formations.  He said he wanted to come back some day and
sketch them.

After eating, we checked into a motel and rested for a while before
heading back at sundown to the caverns to watch the bats exit the
caves.  Dean was excited again and seeing him in a good mood got me
really horny.  The moment we were back in our room, he began to act
frisky. He playfully pushed me onto the double bed and started pulling
off my tennis shoes.  They had been on since 4:30am and my feet were
tired as hell.  He peeled off my damp socks and held them to his nose.
 I jumped when his fingertips lightly brushed the soles of my feet.
He went to town on them sucking my toes and rubbing the undersides of
my feet.

I pulled off my shirt and tossed it across the room.  I was in ecstasy
as he licked my soles.  After rolling around and kissing, we ended up
naked and in a sixty nine position giving each other good head.  I
shot my load the second his sperm began hitting the roof of my mouth.
The next thing I knew, we were snuggling on the bed while some movie
played on Showtime.  I turned over and spooned him until I drifted
into dreamland.

We didn't wake up again until the motel maid knocked at the door.  I
groggily got up and yelled, "No thank you" through the door.  I
glanced back at Dean sprawled out naked on the bed.  I slipped into
the bathroom to take a piss and then slowly got on the bed.  I gently
pulled the sheet off him and enjoyed the view.  I couldn't help myself
and moved to crotch where I started licking his dick and balls.  I
loved the day's worth of ball sweat that rose into my nostrils.  He
stirred and put his hand on my head.

"That's a nice way to wake up.  No alarms, no brothers.  Oh that feels good."

I gave him a good slow blow until he was squirting his sperm.  I
savored every drop.

"Move over and I'll do you!" he said sleepily.

"Naw, I want you to suck me on the road later!" I said.

"That's even better!" he said and sat up.

He rubbed his eyes and got up to take a piss.  A few minutes later we
were in the shower and playfully washing each others privates.  I was
tempted to let him get me off, but I wanted to get back on the road
again so we could make good time to our next stop.  We planned to eat
in Phoenix and then drive on into the night until we got sleepy.  For
the time being, I was hungry for some breakfast.  We got dressed,
packed up, and checked out of the motel.

We drove around until we found a Mcdonalds.  The service was horrible
and the food was so-so, but I was starving and ate all of mine.  Dean
picked at his pancakes and gave up.

"It's definitely not your cooking," he said when he tossed them into
the trash on our way out.

Soon enough, we were back on the small state highway making out way to
Interstate 10.  It turned out to be a really long ride over lots off
hills and curves.   We had to dip back into Texas and head to El Paso.
 We saw the Guadalupe Mountains for the first time in person.  They
were beautiful in their starkness.  The landscape looked like so many
of the cowboy westerns I saw with my dad when I was a kid.

El Paso kind of shocked us.  From the freeway one could see into
Mexico.  The contrast between the US side and the Mexican side of the
border was like night and day.  Both sides were desert towns with a
lack of the greenery that we were used to, but I was naively
surprised.  We stopped in the city for gas and some snacks.  We
promptly got back onto the road.

Four hours after leaving Carlsbad, we drove through Las Cruces, New
Mexico.  We were surprised to come across a US Customs inspection
point.  I thought it was exciting, but Dean seemed to be bored or
unimpressed.  We were asked only where we were going and I told the
man we were on a road trip to California.  He waved us on through and
then we were on our way.  Just as we left, we saw a female officer
walking a dog up to a van and the dog was sniffing all over.

"I'll bet that van is carrying some drugs!" I said.

"Busted!" Dean laughed.

When we finally reached Phoenix, we were amazed at its size and how
modern it was.  We thought it was going to be another desert city.  We
found a small Mexican restaurant and had a delicious dinner.  We drove
to the state capital just to say we saw it.  When the thrill wore off,
we got back on the interstate highway and planned to try to drive all
night to reach California.

We drove and drove and I was feeling a little tired.  That's when I
looked over in the dark and saw Dean pulling off his shorts.  At that
point he was totally naked.  I was driving in just my jeans and tennis
shoes.  He pulled off his seatbelt and rose on to the seat on his
knees.  While I was driving, he moved my right arm down off the wheel
and began sucking on my tit.  My dick sprang to life in my pants.  His
hand moved to my crotch and rubbed my dick through the denim.  He
busied himself with unzipping my pants and digging around until my
cock was freed.  He roughly pulled my ball out of the fly also.

Once my dick was out, he got on his hands and knees and started
sucking me off.  He kept his torso low so I could still drive and see
the road.  There was a Semi truck behind us which I'd recently passed.
 Just ahead was an SUV.  Outside it was pitch black and the only way
for anyone to see us was for them to drive beside my car.  Just
knowing how easy it was to be seen made it more exciting.

"That's it bro, suck my cock good!" I told him.

He went all the way down to the base and held it for many seconds
before going up.  I loved that!  A few times I held his head down with
my hand—that was something he loved.  Then I let him up for air again
and he would suck up and down like a machine.  I rubbed my hand
through his unkempt hair and across his smooth shoulders.  Now and
then his mouth left my dick to be replaced by a hand as he worked my
nipple over or licked my stomach.  When he went back down on me I knew
I'd crash if I didn't pulled over and I wanted to cum.

I quickly pulled over onto the tiny shoulder until the wheels stopped
and rammed the car into "park".  I started shooting an intense load
into his mouth and groaned really loud.  A car or two passed...the last
one honked at us.  I let him suck and jack until every last drop was
milked out.  I was out of breath when he finished.

"Oh my god...that was unbelievable!" I gasped.

Sitting there, I noticed that the car interior likely wasn't as dark
as I thought.  There were lights from the dash, the radar detector,
the stereo, etc—enough lights to produced a silhouette for passersby.
I smiled at the thought.  No wonder someone honked at us!

- - -

Time flew after the blow job and I was more relaxed.  Dean remained
naked for the rest of the drive.  I stopped into the first town we
came into to find a motel.  I was shocked to find the rates of the
rooms of average motels were so high.  We drove to four more before I
stopped at a truck stop and asked a truck driver if he knew of any
places with a better price—even if we had to drive again.  Dean
reluctantly pulled on some shorts before I got out.  The truck driver
told me of a place that was on the outer edge of town away from the
highway.  Dean watched from inside my car as I talked to the handsome,
but way older trucker.  I made note of his directions and got back
into the car to drive to the motel he suggested.

When we found the place, we were dismayed at how shitty it looked.  I
went inside and asked what the rate was and it was decent.  I went
back out to the car and told Dean.

"We can go spend more money, stay here, or sleep in the car." I told him.

"Well, let's try it here.  If will be a good story to tell everyone
later...bedbugs and all."

"Okay, well I'll go inside and pay for the room," I told him.

In the small office, the attendant was an ancient woman with badly
died hair that looked like the color of Mercurochrome.  She was behind
a glass window with bars on it.  She was watching a small flat screen
TV with horrible reception and duct tape on the side of it.  On the
counter next to her was an ashtray full of cigarette butts and one lit
cigarette.  I pressed a button to buzz her and she slowly rotated her
body to face the window.  She slid a small panel open.  A gush of air
conditioned, smoky air hit my nose.

"You need a single or a double?" She said in a husky, hoarse voice.

"Single, ma'am," I said.

She repeated the price and I pushed my bank debit card through a slot.
 She turned around slowly and slid it though a small credit card
device beside her and typed in some numbers.  She sat and stared at it
for over a minute without changing the expression on her severely line
face.  I was getting nervous and was about to ask her what was taking
so long when a slip of paper finally moved up out of the device.

"Sign here please," She said and coughed violently.

I signed the paper and she slid me my receipt.

"Check out is at noon and room ten is around back," she said.

She turned back to the TV and took a drag of her cigarette.  I walked
back to the car and Dean was standing outside next to it looking
bored.

"It's about time, shit." he said.

"I know dude, that old lady was a mess!"

We got back in the car and drove around the single story, rectangular
building and parked the car.  We were the only car parked in the back.
 The other five or six cars were parked next to the office.  It was
darker on the back side.  Beyond the motel was a chain link fence.
There was nothing past the fence except for flat and dry terrain.  The
motel looked run down and I hoped we'd be safe there despite it's
scary exterior.

I was so tired and Dean had to take shit bad, so we walked in
hurriedly.  The room wasn't as horrible as I though it would be.  It
looked clean but reeked of cigarette smoke.  I pulled off my shoes and
sox and wiggled my toes—so glad for them to be free again.  I pulled
off my shirt and unzipped my pants. I pulled my balls away from me and
let them get some air as I stepped out of the jeans and lay back on
the bed.  Dean finally stepped out of the bathroom and was already
naked.  He tossed his clothes on top of mine.

He plopped on the bed next to me and slid his hand under my ass to
finger my hole.  It felt really good as he rubbed it and wiggled it
inside.  I wasn't sure if he wanted to fuck.  If he did, I was just
gonna lie there and take it.  I was worn out.

"Shit, I forgot my laptop.  I don't wanna leave it out there all
night.' he said.

"I'll go out and get it for you," I told him.

I stood up and picked up my jeans.

"Why bother with those?  We're the only ones back here.  Just go out
naked and get it." He said in a matter of fact manner.

He was right.  Plus, I thought it would be hot to stroll out to my car
naked as a jaybird.  I grabbed my car keys and opened the motel door.
I left the door open with him sitting there naked under the lamp
light.  He was stroking his cock watching me step outside.

The night air was warm and dry.  It felt good to be out there nude, so
I took a short walk to a tall chain link fence at the edge of the
parking lot.  I had to piss, so I held on to the fence and poked my
dick though the fence.  I watched as my piss sprayed down into the
cracked ground.  The gravel on my side of the fence felt rough under
my feet.  Being naked outside felt so good after sitting on my butt in
the car driving all day.

After I shook the piss from my dick, I walked back to the car to get
Dean's laptop.  Just as I bent over into the trunk, a car spun around
the corner.  I was surprised that I didn't hear it sooner.  There was
no time to react as a peeling and dented Honda Civic drove up next to
me.  I immediately saw four people my age in the car as the interior
lights were on.

"Fuckin' cool man, that dude is naked!" someone said through an open window.

Because of that comment, I didn't panic and flee inside; I kept
digging through the stuff in the truck and pulled out the laptop.
After I pulled it out and shut the trunk cover, a motley crew of two
girls and two guys got out of their vehicle.

"Sorry, I just stepped out to get this.  No one was around." I said in apology.

"No fuss man, we're cool," the driver said.

The driver was in a wife beater that had sweat stains under the pits
and was quite stocky.  The other dude who had commented about me first
was tall and extremely skinny.  His face looked broken out.  The two
chunky girls with them looked bored and tired, but one of them looked
down at my dick and winked.  They opened their doors and started
unpacking.

"You guys take it easy!" I said.

"You too bro!" the driver said.

I slipped back inside and shut the door.

"I saw it all dude, that was hot!" Dean said and grabbed me as soon as
I got inside.

I was surprised those folks didn't comment on a naked Dean sitting on
the bed in view of the cars.  I suspected they were kind of stoned
anyway.  Meanwhile, the two of us fell back on the bed and he rolled
me over on my stomach.  He started to rub my back while sitting on my
ass.  The pressure of his body was nice.  His long fingers worked over
the tired muscles in my back.

"You know my legs are cramped from sitting all day," I said.

He turned around to face my legs and feet.  He started with massaging
my ass cheeks good and hard.  His large hands moved down my legs and
worked on my thighs and calves.  If I was a cat I would have been
purring.

"Bend your legs, babe...yeah, in the air like that."

I lifted my feet like I was pulling them to my ass but he held them in
the air.  I moaned as he began massaging my feet.  I wondered to
myself which was better—a blow job or a foot rub?  He magically worked
the balls of my feet and stuck his tongue between my toes as he did
it.  My cock was so stiff it was poking hard against the mattress.  I
moaned and groaned as he sucked my toes...one at a time and then by
forcing all five in his mouth at once.  It tickled at time.  I
squirmed when he licked my sensitive high arches.  Next, he squeezed
my toes allowing them to lightly pop.

"You should do that for a living!" I told him.

He let go of my feet and they plopped flat on the bed again.  He
finished by working on my hamstrings and calves.  After the massage
was over, he lay next to me.  I was still on my stomach.  He sexily
kissed and licked the back of my neck.  I moved my face toward him and
he held my chin before kissing me deeply.  That led to us rolling
around making out for a long time.  Over the next hour, there was a
lot of foreplay, but neither of us attempted to reach an orgasm.  It
was nice to lick all over each other, massage body parts, finger and
eat each others hole, etc.

I was beyond relaxed after all that, but then my belly growled again.
I looked for the bag of Doritos.

"Dammit, I thought I brought all of the food in." I bitched.

"What do you want?  I'll go out and get it...it's my turn to flash everyone."

I smiled and playfully slapped his butt.

"Those Ranch-flavored Doritos.  There's a new bag." I explained.

"Ok, I'll go and get them," he said playfully.

With the light of the tiny lamp only in the room, he opened the door
and went out to the car.  I could hear noise next door.  There was
chatting and laughing—even bass from some music.  I did notice a funky
smell.  I could only associate it with ammonia but there was another
odor of burnt plastic or something.  Then Dean came back inside with
the bag of chips.  He had a strange look on his face.

"Thanks dude.  Anyone see your hot body?"

"I don't know," he said and kind of plopped down lifelessly next to me.

I grabbed a couple of cokes from the small cooler and opened the bag
of chips.  I stuffed a bunch in my mouth and started crunching.  When
he lay next to me listlessly, I took his unopened can of coke and
pressed it against his back.  He jumped but didn't laugh or try to
smack me for it.

"What's wrong bud?"

He rolled over and looked me in the eyes.

"They're smoking meth over there.  Can't you smell it?  They're doing
it with the door open."

Then I understood his mood.  He went to his back pack and took out a
cigarette and his lighter.  He rarely smoked anymore so I didn't bitch
when he lit it in the room.  Once lit, he took a long drag.  I waited
for him to speak.  He just sat there for a few minutes until the
cigarette was down to the butt.  I handed him an empty coke can to put
the butt in.

"Don't you all ever wonder how I'm coping?  Just because I went to
rehab it doesn't mean I never crave that shit."

He pulled out another cigarette.

"I know I wasn't one of those street junkies, but I had it pretty bad.
 You don't think someone at the rehab clinic snapped their finger and
my cravings were instantly gone do you?"

"No," I mumbled.

I was a little taken aback by his attitude changed so quickly.

"I don't mean to be an ass, but you don't ever ask me how I'm doing
with it.  It's like you all are in some big denial."

I put my hand and his and he squeezed it.

"Sometimes I feel like just one big fuck up.  I don't know why you
stayed with me."

There was another long and weird silence as he lit and smoke another
whole cigarette.  My mouth felt dry when I swallowed before I finally
spoke.

"I didn't know you felt this way, Dean.  We can talk about anything at
anytime.  Call me stupid, but I guess I really thought you were
`cured'...but you're not always so open about your feelings.  You hold a
lot up inside.  I'd like to know what you think about a lot of things.
 You stay clammed up like your dad."

He put his head on my shoulder and paused for a moment between drags.

"Well, since you're asking...here's one for you:  are you in love with him?"

My face flushed and the question took me by surprise.  He was finally
opening up about our relationship with Jim.

"I mean, I can share you—but I have to know where I stand."

I was tongued-tied when I started to answer.

"Well, I...I guess it's complicated.  I am fucking totally smitten in
love with you.  You know that.  I love your dad, too.  With him,
there's mostly a sexual chemistry.  But he's such a guarded person...he
is more closed than you about his emotions.  Do you know he's been
banging a chick?"

I don't know why I blurted that out but I did.

"Well, it doesn't surprise me.  He loved fucking my mom.  I haven't
told you before, but when I was a kid I used to sneak up to their door
and listen.  Then sometimes when I knew they had just finished, I'd
knock on the door and pretend to need something.  They'd let me after
covering up for putting something on.  I'd notice the room smelled
funny.  Jim always had that crazy look on his face after sex.  Well,
you know what I mean.  He has it with you every time."

I didn't know what to say, so I just let him talk.

"You know...a special afterglow.  He doesn't have it after he fucks me."

I rolled my eyes.

"No, don't do that Dave," he said.

I lay back and stared up at the ceiling.

"I see Jim stare at your butt a certain way when you're not paying
attention.  He jokes differently with you.  And then you...you have a
hunger for older guys and guys of his stature.  Hell, you get a hard
on for everything with a cock now that we're talking about it.  You're
always scoping out guys—mainly men of his age--everywhere we go.  You
try to please him like a woman would—with food, with sex, and even
taking care of his home."

I turned over and looked at him again.  All of those things he was
saying seemed crazy but they were true.  I looked straight into his
eyes and kissed him.

"That's nice, but you didn't tell me where I stand."

He turned over away from me and pulled the covers up almost past his
head.  When I tried to pull them away and slip under them against his
body, he stiffened up.

"Don't.  I'm tired."

He shut down and I shut up.  I sat up and tried to watch TV.
Everything he said kept running through my head.  Instead of worrying
only about Dean being hurt or upset, I started wondering if may Jim
was in love with me also.  How could I be in love with two men at the
same time?  Maybe I was just in love with the novelty of a threesome.
Then there was the topic of his addiction that we grazed over and
didn't finish talking about.  I rolled over on my side away from Dean
and turned out the lamp.  Just the TV lit the room and the volume was
too low to hear.  I heard more laughing and carrying on outside from
the druggies.

I put my hand on my stomach and it felt like my heartbeat was there.
My stomach was tight and churning.  The longer I sat there stewing
over it all my temples began to throb.  I kicked myself for not
immediately answering Dean's question with some kind of answer. I lay
there analyzing our relationships—mine and his, mine with Jim, Jim and
Dean.  I thought Jim was smitten with Dean because he looked like Hank
so much.  Maybe he had sex with Dean so there didn't appear to be
favoritism.  Soon, the back of my eyes hurt also.  I was miserable.

I thought about calling my Dad and spilling my guts.  Dad would first
freak out that I was in a three way relationship with Dean's
stepfather.  He probably wouldn't get past that to be able to offer
any relationship advice.  No, I was alone in that matter.  Part of me
wanted to get up and go next door and ask for a joint.  I knew that
was so wrong.

I thought over and over about Dean's comments on his recovery.  He was
right.  We all acted like he was cured and never asked about it.  In
our own minds, they all probably thought he'd tell anyone who asked to
mind their own business.  I had been in denial more or less.  Jim—well
he never talked about anything deep and personal unless you made him.
I blamed myself for not finding a motel that wasn't such a shit hole
and drug lair.  It was common sense to figure that such a place could
cater to meth and other drug users.

Dean lightly snored next to me but stayed turned away.  I wanted to
snuggle with him and feel his body next to mine, but I understood why
he was upset.  Forcing affection at the moment wouldn't be good.  I
lay on my back and stared at the cracked ceiling until I fell asleep.

- - -

I woke up to a deafening bass beat just after the sun came up.  It was
those fuckers next door.  Dean covered his head with the pillow and
pulled the covers over his head.  I jumped up and put only a pair of
pants on.  I opened the door to see what was going on outside. My eyes
were blinded by the blast of sun and my neck was sore from tension.
The music made it worse.  Those idiots had turned on their vehicle,
left the music playing with the windows open, and weren't even
outside!

I stomped over to their door and it was wide open.  One couple was on
the floor in sleeping bags and the other was on the bed.  The girl on
the bed was reading a book in a bra and jeans while her guy was eating
a gross looking chili dog.  The air condition in the room was going
full blast despite the door being open.  I stood in the doorway and
spoke over the music.

"Turn your music down!" I shouted.

"Hey man, what's the bother?" he said.

He acted jerkily and twitched.  I walked up to him and grabbed his
grungy shirt at the collar and pulled him up from his sitting
position.

"TURN YOUR FUCKING MUSIC OFF!" I screamed.

I pushed him back and he fell on the mattress.  The girl just started
laughing her ass off but he scrambled up and out to the car to turn
the motor off.  My temples pounded again.

"Damn, he's hot!" one of the females said as I exited.

When I got back to the room, Dean was in the shower.  I started
packing up and moved everything to the car.  When he came out, I was
already in the car waiting for him.  Neither of us has said a word.
He stepped out of the motel room wearing only flip flops and baggy
shorts.  His asscrack was slightly visible above the elastic and his
dick bounced when he walked.  His wet, un-brushed hair hung to his
eyebrows.  He looked damn sexy, but I wasn't sure what to say to him
after our conversation the night before.

He got into the car and pulled out his dark sunglasses.  He smelled
really good.  As I sat there in my dirty jeans and shirtless, I felt
kind of trashy.  Still barefoot, I turned on the ignition and drove
around to the office to turn in the key to the room.  Once back in the
car, I dared to break the tension by speaking finally.

"Los Angels or bust!" I said.

"I'm not really in the mood to go there now.  We really can't afford
all these rooms.  Let's just head back." he said quietly.

I was about to speak and held my tongue.  I thought maybe he was
right.  The trip took a turn for the worse after I'd made the decision
to stay in a seedy motel.  I drove onto the main road and turned into
the gas station at the corner.  I had a sinking feeling.  Dean got out
of the car and headed inside to the adjoining store.  I continued to
ponder over our discussion the night before. Just as the pump clicked
off, Dean arrived back at the car with two plastic bags of food and
one of ice.  He drained the water from the cooler onto the warm
pavement and poured the fresh ice into it.  My stomach felt
nauseous—either from worry or hunger.  I couldn't tell.

Once we were back in the car and I put on my seatbelt, he rummaged
through one of the bags from the store and pulled out a small package
of foil and put it in my lap.  It was hot and it smelled good.  I
opened it to find two chorizo taquitos.  I started scaring them down.

"Can you hand me a Coke, please?" I asked.

It made me feel a little better after he'd bought me breakfast.  It
was a sweet gesture and it broke the ice a little.  After I ate the
food and guzzled down the can of Coke, I burped loudly.  I scratched
my armpit and a wave of stink wafted up.  I took of napkins and dipped
them in the ice in the cooler and wiped my armpits.  He was silent.  I
pulled out the map and estimated we could be back home sometime the
next day.  I put on my sunglasses and drove out of the gas station.

- - -

We drove on through the desert landscape that we missed the night
before.  As we entered Arizona, there were dark mountains in the
distance on either side of us.  We stayed quiet for a long time.  I
finally spoke.

"I understand you want to go home and cut the trip short, but we don't
have to drive in silence," I said.  "If you're not talking because I
wouldn't answer the question...well, it's because I don't know."

"I know you don't know.  I'm not really upset about that anymore.  We
can analyze our relationship later.  I want to get home because I need
help.  The cravings are too real to face alone."

"I support you, babe." I said.

"I scoffed at group meetings and support groups before, but after
being around it last night I know that's what I need.  I need a
sponsor or someone who's gone through this all themselves.  Don't you
agree?"

"It makes sense, Dean."

"Thank you for understanding.  Now pull over and let me drive.  I want
to see you riding naked and beating off!"

To be continued...

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