Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 19:00:48 EST
From: Madasonaysha@aol.com
Subject: "Around My Way" chapter 14 Gay-HighSchool and Gay-Interacial
Feedback is always appreciated and can be sent to
Madasonaysha@aol.com You can now find this story at www.Superdrewby.com
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Other stories by me currently on Nifty:
"I Hate Anthony" last updated 3-8-05
"The Handsome Young Jewish Man" last updated 3-6-05
(Both stories can be found simultaneously in the High School and
Interracial sections)
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"AROUND MY WAY"
BY MADISON "MADDY" A. DANTE
CHAPTER FOURTEEN :DAY ONE
"Okay! Enough with the God damn smiling! What the hell has got you
so fucking slap happy?" Amanda yelled at me the next morning. We
left for school twenty minutes earlier than usual so that we could grab a
bite to eat at the Cafe around the corner from school. The whole way
there I kept smiling. I couldn't help it! I was a man in love a
suddenly the world just seemed brighter. The air was crisp and the
birds sung a little sweeter. The sky was an amazing shade of blue, like
Joey's eyes. Oh God! I was SO in love! After waiting so long I
couldn't believe that he was finally mine. It was like something
out a story book. I know I am sounding really cheesy right now, but I
really don't care. I was the happiest that I had ever been. Love
can do that to you. It can make you so happy that you can't do
anything, but smile. Life could not get any better.
Roger had taken Aunt Mickey and I to dinner the night before and things
went great. He entertained us with stories of the past jobs that he had
worked on. He use to be a photographer for one of the oldest black owned
magazine's and had met various political figures prominent in the
black community. They didn't talk about him moving in, but I knew he
most likely would still be. I'll admit it, a small part of me was
still weary with having him live with us. Yeah, he seemed like a nice
guy, but I still thought it was too soon. Aunt Mickey may have known him
for years, but I hadn't. He was a stranger to me, but the smile on
Aunt Mickey's face was enough to keep me from voicing my concerns.
As soon as I came home, I called Joey and we talked for five straight
hours. I snuggled up in my bed with my fluffy black down comforter, the
cordless phone in hand and Joey`s voice whispering sleepily in my
ear. We talked about the most random of things from trips to Great
Adventures to how tight he liked his hair braided. We both fell asleep
on the phone a little after two, but the drowsiness that I felt the next
morning had been worth it. He poured his heart out to me. I found out
that he had always thought that he was different, but couldn't figure
out why. He remembered when Amanda began to notice how cute boys were,
so did he. Both of his parents were strict Catholics so he knew what the
name for what he was feeling was and he was also aware that it was
wrong. He said his priest would say that homosexuals were deviant
creatures who were not true men. He thought that he had to do something
to prove his man hood, so at twelve he joined East Side.
East Side had a reputation for being one of the roughest gangs in Newark
and so did West Side. He had a friend whose older brother was in East
Side it who connected Joey with them. He had to get jumped in; which as
he told me wasn't as bad as you would think it would be. To get
jumped into a gang is when a few of the members basically all beat you
down. If you fight back, you're in. He fought back and that earned
him the nickname of "No Tearz" which had been shortened to Tearz
because he didn`t cry. He thought that being and Eastie would
toughen him up and make him into the real man that his church teachings
made him think that he wasn`t because of his thoughts , but it
nothing he tried made his feelings for other boys go away. He still
would have the same thoughts and even admitted to me that he had once had
a crush on Loco. I had to laugh at that one. I asked him what he liked
more about Loco, his hair gel fascination or his ability to hold four
different conversations at once with the same person.
Joey thought that if he allowed himself to love me then it would be like
he was abandoning all of the teachings of the church. As a Latino man it
was his job to be a devout Catholic, marry a devout Catholic Latina woman
and raise devout Catholic children. I may not be very religious myself,
but I did believe that God loved everyone, regardless of what the bible
may say. The bible also said that women couldn't cut their hair and
eating shell fish were both guaranteed one way tickets to hell, so you
can understand why I was not the type of person to put all of my beliefs
in the words of unknown men written thousands of years ago. No, only God
knows what his true intention is and I have a hard time believing that he
would condemn any form of love. I understood Joey's plight because I
would have to face the same things that he would. He was still in the
beginning stages of accepting himself and I was just glad that he was
allowing me to help him through it. Together we would make it.
Joey went on to tell me that for years he had been struggling with what
he felt and nothing he did could change it. He said the first time he
saw me, it was like he knew he was suppose to be with me and that scared
him because with any other guys it was always just ended at physical
attractions. I don't believe in love at first sight, but looking
back to that day maybe it was. Or, at least lust at first sight. We
just had this undeniable chemistry. He even remembered arguing with his
father that day for not showing up for work on time and watching me talk
to Amanda. His father thought he was staring at her and commented that
the two of them would `make a nice couple`. Joey was close to
his father and he knew that his dad would never accept him the way he was
and that bothered him. To ease his mind I told him that I had no plans
on coming out anytime soon and we shouldn't even think about stuff
like that until many, many years from now. I could hear him smiling
through the phone and I asked him why he was grinning so hard. He blew a
kiss through the phone and asked. `You think we'll be together
for years?` I blushed and mumbled a yes and he blew another kiss to
him over the phone. It was loud and obnoxiously over done, but it was
one of the sweetest things that I ever heard.
I did picture the two of us together for life. I know that most
people's first love don't last, but it was like I knew Joey and I
would. I knew that as long as no one knew about either of us being
together we could make it. I was all too aware of the fact that if
anyone ever found out about us that our relationship would be as good as
over. His family definitely would not be accepting and I wasn't sure
what Aunt Mickey's reaction would be. There were times when she was
this liberal, free spirited white woman who wouldn't think twice of
going to black heritage festival wearing a head wrap and then there were
other times when she could be real uptight. Make it a point to punish
me for the most random of things or yelling for no legitimate reason. If
I wanted a tattoo, Aunt Mickey would probably help me pick one out, but
as for me coming out to her, that I couldn't be to sure of how she
would take that. I was not coming out to anyone else other than Amanda
and he wasn't out to anybody, which was just the way that he wanted
it. Joey also talked about how much he missed his friendship with Amanda
and our shared hatred of Nate. I told him the real reason that I was
running from Nate and Jay that night and he was heated. He threatened to
"take care" of them, but I told him not to. Nate was no one
special and only posed a threat if I felt threatened, but then Joey told
me a story that made my fear return.
There were rumors that Nate and Jay were "train runners". He
said it's when two people have sex with someone else at the same
time. Now, that's not my thing, but I don't judge anyone else
whose it is, but Joey wasn`t finished. He said that sometimes the
girl wouldn't want to participate, but they would make her anyway.
They usually would find some random girl at a party, get her drunk and
high, then make her do what they wanted. Joey told me that it was even
rumored that the two of them had did that to a boy who lived up the
street from him and I knew exactly who he was talking about.
The boy was only fourteen and still went to the middle school so I
didn`t know him personally, but I had seen him around. He was a dark
skin Filipino boy with dark features and cute, in a girly way. He was a
little smaller than me, but not by much. Looking at Oliver, it was easy
to tell that he was gay. He walked as if he was dancing and his features
were slender and delicate. His movements were graceful and his
mannerisms were feminine. All the other boys shunned him. All of his
friends were girls and he did the girly things with them. He jumped
rope, did drill steps and cheers, and almost everything else all the
other girls did. He was very out going and many would describe him as
being flamboyant. As the story went, Nate and Jay spotted him walking
home alone one night last summer and convinced him to smoke some weed
with them in the park. Jay had been friends with Oliver's older
sister and he had known him for a while so he agreed and went with them.
Oliver was only thirteen at the time and had never even smoked so much as
a cigarette, but he was just happy some boys were talking to him. That
night, Nate and Jay made sure to give Oliver an ample amount of weed and
made him drink all the alcohol they had. As the story continued, I
couldn't help but to picture poor Oliver and the all things that he
must have went through. After a few sips of the alcohol, Oliver became
drunk and that's when Nate and Jay made their move. They told Oliver
they were going to take him home, but instead took him back to Nate's
house. They took him in his room and undressed him. Oliver was too
far-gone to realize what they were doing until it was too late.
Joey wasn't aware of all the specific details, but he did know that
Oliver had told his sister that Nate and Jay raped him. No fooling
around, but full force rape. God! Some people are sick, just plain old
fashioned `sick in the head`! With all the things that I went
through, it still shocks me to find out that people could be so brutal.
I asked Joey how he found out and why people didn't act like anything
was wrong with what Nate and Jay did. He said that not to many people
knew and those who did were unsure if it was the truth. The only reason
Joey knew, was because his sister was good friends with Oliver and he
told her right after it happened. I asked him why people didn't
treat Nate and Jay differently. They had raped another boy, A BOY! Why
wasn't anyone running around calling them names and harassing them?
Normally, just the suspicion of being gay was enough outcast someone
especially if your Black or Hispanic and live in the ghetto, yet they
weren't and I didn't understand that. Joey told me that no one
really knew for sure if it happened and Nate and Jay were too high up in
rank in their gang for anyone to ask them about it. So, rather than risk
pissing off the two of them and feeling their wraiths, everyone just
looked the other way. Besides, Nate and Jay were valuable to West Side.
They sold the most drugs and brought in the most money. He also said
that he didn't think Amanda had heard about since it was mostly
people from East Side who had and Nate made sure that she didn`t hang
around their..
Our whole four-hour conversation wasn't just filled with the
depressing things. He kept telling me how much he loved it when I
smiled. He said my eyes lit up and sparkled. I told him how his eyes
made my heart flutter and he admitted that he did remember our first kiss
that night after the Puerto Rican Day Parade. That night one of his boys
from his Gang called and wanted him to go `cop on the block'. I
had no clue what the hell that made and said to `cop on the
block', was to go and score drugs from the street. I didn't like
the fact that he had bought drugs, but I didn't speak on it. He was
pissed because he didn't want to leave me. I smiled at that. He
bought the weed for his boy and tried to leave, but his boy didn't
want to smoke alone and made him stay and get high.
He was taken back with how I lashed out at him when he returned home
later that night and that was when he knew that night he really liked
me. The fact that he was upset that I was upset only proved that he
liked me and feeling that way for the first time about a boy scared him.
He said that as I was undressing him, it was the most erotic thing he
ever felt and I had to laugh at his choice of words. They way he said
"erotic" with his tough guy accent brought a smile to my face.
But, I guess that's how it was.
He tried to sleep off his feelings, but he claimed that I backed up into
him sometime in the middle of that night and he lost it. He began to
kiss my neck and was scared shitless when he realized that I wasn't
sleep, but when I kissed him back, he just lost all control of himself.
As he was getting into it, the fear of people finding out scared him and
made him want to stop.
The whole conversation had me smiling from ear to ear. I could not
believe that we were actually together. Now we didn't say that we
were boyfriends, but I think we both knew that we were. I just wished I
could share my joy with Amanda, but I knew Joey would kill me. If I was
deep in the closet, Joey was even further past the winter coats.
"Nothing girl, why can't I smile?" I asked Amanda playfully.
She looked at me sideways and smirked.
"Did you fuck last night?" She asked. My girl was just TOO
charming. My eyes were bulging at her brashness. There were at least
twenty people in that coffee shop, all who turned to look at us after
Amanda's very loud declaration. She just sat there smirking sipping
on her damn hot chocolate.
"AMANDA! Shut up! Someone might hear you." I yelled as I sank in
my seat an tried to hid behind my muffin.
"OH-MY-GOD! Did YOU really fuck someone?" She leaned in closer
so that she could whisper in my ear. " What's his name?"
She asked curiously.
"Shut up! Come on, we are going to be late for school." I got up
to leave and she followed, but she just kept pressing me for
information. It wasn't until we ran into Peanut that she stopped.
"You know Chris, that damn paper is due next week." Peanut said
to me. I had completely forgotten about the paper on Greek Mythology we
had to do for English class. I am usually a very studious student, but
with all the things that had been happening, it just slipped my mind.
"Oh shit! I wasn't even thinking about that paper. I know a lot
about it so we should be able to smash out a paper in a day or two."
It was a half true. I wasn't a complete expert on it, but my parents
Dan and Jamie were obsessed with Greek history. As a child, my mom Jamie
would read me tales from Homer's Odysseys. At eight, I had no clue
what the hell she was reading to me, but as I got older I learned to have
an appreciation for it.
"Good, How about you come over on Friday and we can work on it
then." I was willing to give up my Friday night, but I would be
damned if I would go to Nate's house.
"Yeah, but lets do it at my house." I said and he agreed. I
really liked Peanut. He was a real cool guy, but I felt like I
didn't really know him. We had known each other for almost two
months and I still knew little about him. I would make it a personal
goal to learn something knew about him.
I don't why I was, but I just assumed that Joey would ignore me the
next day. I figured we would share a knowing glance occasionally, but
that would be it. Imagine my surprise when he greeted me during
homeroom. Usually, a boyfriend would visit his girlfriend in her
homeroom or vice-versa. The teachers never minded as long as you kept it
down and didn`t disturb anyone. I was happy to see him, but then I
started to think about what everybody else might have been thinking. He
had never came in my homeroom before. `Would people start to wonder
why he did that day and why he kept looking at me?' I wondered to
myself. I only had five minutes to ponder those thoughts before the bell
signaling first period. Joey walked me to my class and for a second I
thought he would lean over and kiss me, but he smiled and walked off. I
loved the fact that he was willing to be seen with me, I mean, why
wouldn't he? It was just I started to have all these crazy
thoughts. I thought people were looking at us and knew. Irrational, yes
I knew that, but I couldn't help it.
By the time art class came around, my paranoia was gone. I just needed
to see his face once again and know that everything was alright. Art
class was pretty much a time to do what ever you wanted to. As long as
you were doing your work and not being disruptive, Mr. Balding would
allow us to talk freely and even listen to music.
"Damn! I hate working with clay." Joey said.
"I know what you mean. Its like the art teachers get together every
year and try to figure out different ways to torture us." I replied
as I picked out clay from under my nails and he laughed. I knew my joke
was corny, but the fact he laughed any way brought a smile to my face.
Damn I loved him!
"So, what are you doing after school?" He asked with one eyebrow
cocked up and a smirk on his face.
"Well, I have to organize my bookshelf and help my Aunt in the
garden...and then theirs that whole trip to the dentist. Yeah, my day
is pretty much booked." I replied and he through a ball of clay at
me in response.
"Bus stop, after school." He said aggressively and I loved it,
but still wanted to tease him a little. It was more fun that way.
"What am I suppose to tell Amanda? We catch the bus everyday."
"Tell her you gotta work on a project with a friend that way you
wouldn't have to lie to her." He rationalized.
"And what per say is this project that I have to work on?" I
tried to talk seductively, but it didn't come out exactly how I
wanted it to. Joey looked around the art class to make sure no one was
paying attention before he answered.
"Chemistry..." Judging from his loud laugh, I knew I must have
been blushing.
When I got to lunch today, Amanda passed me a note written in purple ink
from a milk pen. She instructed me to cover it as I read it. From the
huge grin on her face, I knew I was in trouble.
Dear Kristin,
Hey GIRL! You know that you are my GIRL and I love you , but I have
to know something. Who is this boy that you are fucking? Now, I know That
you like to keep you CLOSET'S clean and your business out of the streets,
but I have to know who this guy is. If your not fucking him, then what are
you doing? It's been driving me out of my MUTHA FUCKING MIND ALL DAMN DAY
LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!URRGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now if you don't tell me who
this dude is, I will be forced to take action. Yep, that's right I don't
want to do it, but your going to make me. I am officially claiming you
"Willow" DVD as my own. Yes, I am that BITCHY!! If you ever want to see
Warwick Davis's beautifully small, pre-Leprechaun face again, then you
better tell me whose dick you been getting Into or... whose dick been
getting into you. You know, I've never asked, but are you a top or...now
what is it called? Oh yeah...a bottom? Judging from the hump in the bump
you have, I think its safe to say you are a bottom. Okay KRISTIN, back to
the point at hand. I want to know his name. Now I know all about how you
"white girls", have to keep it on the LOW when you mess around with black
GUYS <wink wink> but I REALLY, REALLY want to know! You're my best friend,
you cant trust me. I mean, does anyone no that your not "A NATURAL
BLONDE"? Come on...tell your best friend! (Yeah that's right, I'm putting
the "best friend" guilt trip on you...so tell me!)
Love,
Martin
P.S. You know you love the subtlety of this note. Did you get my puns
and witty jokes?)
As I crumbled "Martin's" note I fell back laughing. Peanut
looked up at us, waiting to be let in on the joke, which neither I nor
"Martin" did. I looked over at her and the smile on her face
caused me to choke on my chocolate milk. I loved Amanda and I hated
keeping the fact that I was madly in love with the most wonderful person
in the world from her, but I would have to talk it over with Joey first.
I mouthed to Amanda "soon", and that satisfied her temporarily.
I told her that I had to work on a project after school and for her to
leave me. She asked me if I was working with someone who was at the
"top" of the class, or the "bottom". She earned the kick
I gave her and the jokes stopped, but it didn`t wipe the smirk off
her face.
I met Joey at the bus stop as soon as school ended. A few of kids who
caught that bus asked me what I was doing on it. They all knew that it
wasn't my usually bus, but I nervously told them I had to go
somewhere. Joey sat right next to me and for the first time in my life,
a bus ride didn't suck. With each thumb the bus made we would
occasionally bump into each other and by the time it was time to get off,
we both had to cover our fronts with our back packs.
We rushed down into his room. It was a chore to get him to go and lock
the door that lead from the basement to the first floor of the main
house. Even though no one was suppose to be home for a few hours, I
didn't want to risk getting caught. The minute he came back down the
stairs, he already had his fleece off. His white wife-beater T-shirt was
thin and transparent. I could see two very pink nipples peaking
through. A vast contrast to my own very dark brown colored nipples. He
put on an a slow jam CD and Minnie Rippertons's "Loving you"
set the mood. It was a little cheesy, but I loved it anyway.
He pushed me back on his bed as he rested his tall body on top of mine
and we fell into sync immediately. Kissing him was one of the most
passionate things that I had ever experienced. True, my intimate
relations had been non existent before him, but I knew that it
wouldn't get any better than what we were doing at that moment. He
made no bones about it, he wanted to have sex and so did I. I just
didn't know what he had in mind. We hadn't discussed what we
both wanted to do and didn`t. I knew I wasn't ready for some
things, but I was unsure of what he wanted. I decided to just go with
the flow. He took off my shirt and began to unbuckle his pants. The
clinking of his belt unbuckling was the last sound I heard before
everything else disappeared. There was no music, no other movements
except ours. I can go on and on for hours about the gentle
aggressiveness that Joey possesses. Never had I ever experienced
something so wonderful. His pants had long been kicked to the floor as
he was only wearing white boxers and he was trying to take mine off. He
fumbled with my zipper and began to roughly pull at it, smiling at me as
he struggled.
A child like voice in the back of my mind was screaming for him to stop.
My body temperature shot up about ten degrees and everything became hot
and not in a good way. His touches burned me. His kisses scorched my
mouth. His hands snaked down my pants as he touched me in my most
intimate of areas and I panicked. I don't know what or how it
happened, but I freaked out. Joey was softly resting his body on top of
mine, but he began to feel heavier and heavier until his body began to
crush mine. I felt like that scared five year old. I heard myself
scream for him to get off, but it was only inside of my head. Joey took
my hand and put it on his boxers so I could feel his excitement and I
lost it. I felt tears fall down my face and it both worried and
embarrassed me. I heard Hectors voice mumbling words in Spanish to me.
`Usted es tan suave. Pare el girtar! Pare el grirar!' Hector
would always say those words to me. Whispering his raspy voice in my
ear. `You are so soft. Stop crying! Stop crying!' God! I felt
so scared. Joey must have sensed something was wrong because he pulled
off of me.
"Oh my God Chris! Did I hurt you?" He asked. His crystal blues
deepened with worry as his accent came out in his speech. I didn't
feel alright. I had to get out of there.
"I'm sorry. I gotta go." I said as I scrambled to put my
clothes back on. I wasn't even aware that I had lost my arousal
until I looked down to put my jeans on. Joey came over and hugged me
from behind. His long arms wrapped around my chest as he crouched down
so his head could lean on my shoulder. His embrace was safe and warm,
but I had to get out of there. The air felt stale and constricting.
"Why are you crying? Did I do something to hurt you? I'm sorry!
Chris talk to me man!" He pleaded, but I couldn't even look him
in his eyes. I felt so much shame and disgust of myself. He sat on his
bed looking defeated as I was about to leave. I had to let him know that
he didn't do anything to hurt me. It wasn't his fault that I
panicked. I felt so unsure of myself as I walked over to him and kissed
his cheek. He smiled at me and guided his lips to meet mine. I told him
I would call him later and I left. He made no attempt to stop me again.
I hoped he knew that he didn't do anything wrong. `God! What the
hell is my problem?' I asked myself as I walked to the bus stop. The
sun was still shinning, but the wind was strong and chilly. My
windbreaker did little to keep the heat in. As the wind whipped across
my face, a thousand thoughts ran through my head. `What's wrong
with me?' I asked myself. I needed to find a way to fix things.
Just when everything is looking up, something comes along to complicate
things....
To Be Continued
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Copyright 2005