Date: Wed, 07 Sep 2005 20:16:18 -0400
From: madasonaysha@aol.com
Subject: "Around My Way" Chapter 16 gay highschool / gay interracial

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others.  You can find all my stories linked in the prolific author
section, Maddy A.  My stories include:

"I Hate Anthony" (High School)
"The First Year Is The Hardest" (College)
"Chase After Me" (High School)
"The Handsome Jewish Young Man" (High School)


	    <B><I> CHAPTER SIXTEEN: MAKING OF A MOTHER </I></B>


The sun was shinning brightly the next morning as Joey laid beside me,
lost in his slumber.  I could smell the breath of morning exuding from
his mouth, but I wasn't about to break away from our embrace any time
soon; no matter how much my nose was telling me to.  Not even the fact
that I felt like I would burst a urine dam any minute would make me
move.  I looked over at my alarm clock to see that it was only a little
after six a.m.  I usually make it a habit never to wake up before ten on
a weekend so I closed my eyes to settle back into sleep when I realized
that I had left the bottles and half filled cups of alcohol just laying
around the living room.  I jumped up and rushed to throw on my Pajama
bottoms. Joey looked too cute sleeping, especially with the little trail
of drool spilling from his pink mouth and onto his milky white chin, so I
let him sleep.  I closed the door quietly behind me and was startled to
see Amanda's face as I turned around.  Her hair was thrown up in a messy
bun of curls and she had slept in her clothes, but her shirt was
different .  I knew it didn't belong to me or her because she doesn't
dress  up in baggy clothes and the style wasn't something I would wear.
She always said that as a "thick girl", she shouldn't wear clothes more
than one size bigger than what she normally wore, because then, as she
put it, she would be a "Fat Ass".  She was smirking and before I could
ask her where she got the shirt from, she laughed and winked at me.


"So, how did you sleep?" She asked through her chuckling and my guard
automatically went up.  She had that same look on her face again; the one
from the previous night.


"Fine, and you ?" I asked trying to keep myself from panicking.  It
wasn't that I didn't want to tell her because I wanted nothing more than
to share my happiness with her, but I knew  Joey didn't want anyone to
know about us.  I couldn't blame him, we both had a lot to lose and would
be taking an unnecessary risk if people found out.  Newark was the
ghetto, straight up and down hood and coming out as being Gay would not
be wise..not at all. Everybody knows there is no such thing as gay in the
hood.


" I slept good.  REAL GOOD!" She winked at me and that was when I saw a
shirtless Peanut walk out of the bathroom and I was impressed with what I
saw.  Peanut was ripped and I mean rippled with muscles.  He was only
sixteen, but his abs were already forming in a six pack.  He was only a
little taller than me and from all appearances we looked to be the same
size.  That is until I noticed the mass of muscles formed on his body.
He almost put Andy to shame with his definition, almost.   He was
startled to see me and waved a sleepy hello before kissing Amanda's cheek
and going back downstairs.  I waited until I heard the rustling of
blankets on the floor below, before I pulled a grinning Amanda into my
Aunt Mickey bedroom.  I gently shut the door behind me, leaving it
cracked open before I made my attack.


"NO! You two didn't?" I hissed at her with a grin the size of Texas on my
face.  She smiled up at me and tried to keep her composure, but then she
lost it and smiled brightly.  She took my hands into hers and began to
jump around.


"OH-MY-GOD! I , WE, DID!!  And Chris he was so gentle and wonderful.  I
think I am in love." She cooed.


"Wait? How did it happed?" I anxiously asked.  I thought that they fit
together, but the last thing I was expecting was for them to actually get
together; at least not that soon.  I was dying to know the steps that
lead to the two of them getting it on.


"I don't know how to explain it.  One minute we were just laying there in
the dark talking about the wonders of mint foot lotion and the next thing
you know he's kissing me.  Then he starts to tell me that he's in love
with me and has been every since he met me. Love, Chris, not "like", he
said LOVE!   He said that he hates Nate for what he does to me and wants
me to leave him and he will deal with him. Peanut wants me to be his
girlfriend!  HIS GIRLFRIEND! Damn Chrissie!  I thought that he might have
liked me, but I didn't think that he was in love with me.  IN LOVE---WITH
ME!"  She cooed as she fell back on the bed as smiled dreamily while
staring at the ceiling.  Her excitement was contagious and I began to
giggle with her.  We both were in love, how wonderful  was that!  It just
sucked that I couldn't tell her about me.


"That is so good girl!  And I can't tell you how happy I am that you are
dumping Nate.  I hate him!" I said and a look of fear washed over her
face.


"Yeah..I don't know how I'm going to do that.  I'm scared of what he
might do to me, and to Peanut." She said fearfully as she stood up and
began to pace around the room.  She took down her bun, just to throw it
back up and take it back down.  Whenever she was stressed she always
played with her hair.


"Looking at Peanuts body, I doubt that Nate can do much to him.  Girl his
body is TOO much!" I replied, trying to lighten the mood.


"Yes it is...and..he..PUT-IT-ON-ME-SO-DAMN-GOOD!"  She said and began to
blush and roughly thrust her hips in the air, simulating sex.  Then her
look became serious again. "So, its your turn.  Who is this guy that has
you cheese grinning every second, sixty of the day."


"I can't tell you right now, but I will soon."  I said and she pouted.


"How about if I guess, then you can just nod .  That way, you won't be
"telling" me, I'll be guessing."  She said smiling.  One thing that I
love, and hate about her is her persistence.


"No!"  I stated firmly.  She ignored me and began to start naming names
of various boys we both know.


"Rasheed? Tyrone? Kenny?"


"No, and I wouldn't mess around with Tyrone even if he was gay.  The
brother has no teeth!  Hey, do you want to play cards?"


"How, about Quinn, Danny, Renaldo, Da'shier?  I bet it's Da'shier, that
nigga walks a little soft if you ask me.  Yeah, that nigga is definitely
gayer than you." She continued, ignoring my attempt at changing the
subject.


"No, none of them and I don't even know Da'shier that good and I'm not
THAT gay!  Shit, he switches.  Look you can try, but I'm not telling
you.  He's not out to anybody, not even a friend, and I can't just do
that without talking to him first."  I said and she continued to pout.
As I was getting up to leave out of the bedroom, the door creaked open
and in popped Joey's head.  His face read nothing less than mischief, a
look that I was enjoying seeing for the first time.  Amanda looked
nervous and apologetically glanced my way before talking to Joey.


"Hey Joey.  Did you hear what we were talking about?"  She asked with her
voice wavering.


"Oh yeah, I heard all of it."  He responded and glanced my way.  I knew
what he was up to and I took amusement in Amanda's discomfort.


"You did?" She gulped and looked at me.  I had false fear etched on my
face.


"Yup,  I know that Chris is a faggot!" He yelled with his dark eyebrows
furrowed.  Amanda got up off the bed and stormed over to get up in his
face.  She glared up at him and pointed her finger in his face.  She
could be real protective over me sometimes.


"Watch your fucking mouth Joseph! So what, he's still Chris and you
better not tell anybody or everyone is going to know about the "fifth
grade incident!"  She threatened.


"So tell.  I wouldn't have peed myself if you wouldn't have made me drink
all that lemonade.  I am going to tell everyone, and I mean everyone
about Chris."  Then he walked over to me menacingly and I stood up to
face him. " Are you a fucking faggot?" he asked and  I pretending to
shake.


"Yes." I whispered.


"Good, because so am I." And with that, he embraced me and we
passionately kissed.  I heard a gasp and as we broke apart, Amanda closed
the bedroom door fully, and locked it.


"OH SHIT! You two or...gay..together..OH SHIT!"  She said and we both
laughed.  She was at a loss for words, a first for her.


"Yeah, we are...together..and gay." Joey said and broke our embrace to
hug her, which she impassively returned.


"Joey..gay..Gay Joey."  She muttering incoherently and for a second I was
afraid of what she thought.


"Are you okay with us being together?" I asked her.  She turned to me and
gave me her biggest smile.


"Okay with it? Hell yeah! This is so fucking cool!  Now,  I can be an
official fag hag! WE SO HAVE TO GO TO THE VILLAGE!!  I can get a tattoo
while the two of ya'll can like, go and find a rainbow or something to
climb." She yelled, making Joey and I crack up.  I was surprised by both
of their reactions.  Joey was the biggest closet case; even more than
me.  I assumed that it would be years before he would come out and tell
anyone yet he had so freely told Amanda.  I guess he just felt as
comfortable around her as I did, I mean they had known each other since
they were babies.  We sat down for an hour to tell Amanda how we got
together; leaving out most of the bad stuff. I left them alone to catch
up and I went downstairs to start cleaning up.  The first thing that I
saw was that the cleaning had already been done to the living room and
the next thing was Peanut sleeping soundly under a stack of fleece
blankets.  I went around the house to clean up a little more and saw a
message from Aunt Mickey written on the fridge.  It said that she had
came home late last night and saw that I wasn't alone so she went to
sleep at Roger's.  She made no mention of the alcohol so I prayed that
she didn't notice it when she had come home.  Knowing her, she probably
didn't or just didn't care enough to say anything.  I walked back into
Aunt Mickey's bedroom to see Amanda and Joey hugging.


"Don't be trying to steal my man." I joked.


"Never that!  I just never would have guessed that Joey was.you know, but
now it makes sense.  He never wanted to play doctor with me."  She joked.


"Aye, we did once!" He stated and Amanda rolled her eyes.


"Yeah, and you couldn't even get it up." She joked.


"I was six and you were scary as hell!  Shit! Breasts  on a six-year-old
are just wrong, so wrong." He teased back and she punched his shoulder.


Joey went to cook us breakfast since the three of us couldn't fall back
asleep and we woke Peanut up with our laughing.  Joey amazed me with his
culinary talents.  He had come a long way from the Tamale dessert
disaster of '94.


"So Peanut, I'm glad you and Amanda getting it in!  You betta treat her
good!." Joey threatened with a smirk on his face and Peanut smiled.


"I will!  We just gotta deal wit my brotha and shit now." Peanut stated
and Amanda gripped his hand.


"We will baby, we will." She reassured him. After we all ate a hearty
meal of grits, sausages and eggs, Amanda and Peanut left.   It was a
little after eight and I was still tired and so was Joey.  We both went
up to my bedroom to take a quick nap.  The next thing I know, I see
Roger's disapproving face. Startled I just looked at him, not saying
anything.  Joey was next to me and nothing looked intimate about how we
were laying.  I was on one side and he was on the other, but I still felt
guilty.


"Uh, hey Christopher.  Mickey wanted me to come and pick you up for
lunch.  She has to work today and wanted us to talk.."  Roger said
nervously.   No one ever calls me Christopher, so I knew to expect the
worst.  I followed his eyes to where Joey's sleeping frame laid.  At that
exact moment he decided to reach out for me.  He felt around and we he
didn't feel me he mumbled my name.


"Chris...were are you?" He asked and then his eyes shot open as he saw
Roger standing there. " OH SHIT! I mean hi!  I'm Joey." He said and stuck
his hand out to shake Rogers, who hesitantly took it.


"Roger, I'm going to be Joey's Step Uncle.  I think you should go home
now."  Roger said and I nodded glumly.  Joey hurriedly grabbed his stuff
and asked me to walk him to the door.  When we got downstairs he hugged
me and quickly kissed me goodbye before making me promise to call him
with in the hour.  As soon as the door was shut I heard Roger clearing
his voice and directing me to set in the living room.   I know he must
have saw our kiss.  OH GOD!  Roger's presence was one that easily
intimidated me.  He was tall, proud and had this heir of "righteousness"
about him.  His voice was as deep and harsh as his complexion.  His voice
just demanded respect when he spoke.


"Christopher, I just have to say a few things and then we can go to
lunch.  One, I like you.  I think you are an intelligent young man.  In
fact I wish there were more young brothers out there who were like you,
but as a black man there are three things that you can not be.  First,
you cannot date any women that is outside of your race, especially a
white woman.  As you can see, I already broke that rule, but that's the
only exception allowed.  Second,  you cannot be a punk.  You gotta stand
up for yourself and not take any shit, especially living around here.
I've been around for almost fifty years and I have seen a lot of things
so trust me when I tell you this last thing.  As a black man in America,
the number one thing that you cannot be is Gay. We will love and embrace
our brothers even if they have committed a crime, but the minute a
brother is even suspected of being gay, he is demoted to being less than
a man.  Now, I am not making any assumptions or accusations, but I just
want to warn you..or anyone that you may know that think they might
be..like that.  It's going to be very difficult for you- I mean whoever
might be going through that- so just be careful.  I know I don't know you
all too well, but I do care for you and just want you to be careful.  Now
were do you want to eat?" And just like that nothing else was said on the
subject.


The lunch for me was stressful despite Roger's many attempts to put me at
ease.  I didn't know what to think of what he had said to me.  I wasn't
sure if he was telling me that he accepted me the way that I was or if he
was trying to make me change.  He didn't treat me any differently so I
took that as a good thing.  As soon as he dropped me off, I rushed up to
my room to call Joey who picked up right after the first ring.


"Chris what happened?" He asked. Anxiously.  I could hear his breaths
coming out in short, hard puffs.


"Nothing really.  It was the weirdest thing, but I'll tell  you later.
You wanna chill?" I asked.


"Yeah come over, but I don't really feel like going to the movies
anymore."


"Neither do I.  I'm leaving out now." I responded and walked out to the
bus stop.  As the winter months were approaching, the weather was getting
increasingly colder so I threw on a yellow hooded sweat shirt underneath
my black jacket.  I knew from the smell in the air that I would be
snowing soon.  It was early afternoon and all the kids were running
around the streets enjoying their Saturday.  Little girls were jumping
double dutch, enjoying the sounds of their clacking feet trying to avoid
colliding with the cable cords they were using as a rope while singing
made up songs of who they would marry with each jump, twist and turn of
their legs.


I made my way down to the corner where the bus stop was.  There was an
elderly over weight black woman in a nurses uniform standing there in her
white stockings and sneakers glaring past me.  I followed her gaze as I
heard a ruckus behind me. I turned to see about seven or eight members of
the Westies all decked out in green, strolling down the street as if they
owned it.  They looked like they were looking for trouble with the
menacing looks etched onto their young faces.  They were all around my
age, maybe a few younger, but their faces bore the lines and sags of
hard-life that made them all appear older. They were laughing and talking
amongst themselves when  one guy caught me looking  and motioned for the
others to look at me.  Instantly my body became tense as I knew that
trouble was headed my way.  They all looked so intimidating in the way
that they dressed and spoke. Closer and closer they came until they had
surrounded me.  The elderly woman mumbled something the sounded religious
under her breath, but she just walked away.    The guy who pointed me out
to the rest was the one who came up in my face and his boys cheered him
on.


"What up Nigga? What set you from?" He asked me and I had no clue what he
was talking about.  He took my silence for insolence and he shoved me
backwards.  He was not much bigger than me and only a few pounds
heavier.  His dark olive skin and jet black hair made him appear to be
Mexican and I was sure that his heavy green jacket hid tattoos.  I fell
back and braced myself so I wouldn't hit the ground as the other guys
just laughed.  They threw unintelligibleinsults at me left and right, but
one word that I heard loud and clear was 'Faggot'.  Now was not the time
for me to be brave.  I was outnumbered and all I wanted to do was get out
of there, but I knew I couldn't run away.  One thing that Roger said to
me stuck-out. 'As a black man, you can't be a punk..'


"I'm not from any set." I stated as I got up and tried not to show how
much fear I was feeling exude from my eyes.  I didn't know what a 'set'
was so I figured it was best just to say that I wasn't from one; big
mistake.  Two more of the guys got in my face and began to stare me down
as they pushed there shoulders into me, bouncing me between the two of
them like they were playing 'keep away' and I was the 'keep'.  They
weren't doing damage to me physically, but the humiliation is what
bothered me the most.


"You got a smart mouth faggot! We asked you what set you from! What flag
you flying Nigga?"  Another guy asked me.  He was a tall and lanky light
skin black guy who was in one of my classes.  I couldn't remember his
name and judging from how rudely he was treating me, I didn't think that
he remembered me either.  Classes have a tendency to be crowded so it
would be easy not to notice a few people.  A light bulb went off and then
I realized that they must have been referring to what gang I was from.  I
wanted to laugh at that thought, but I knew it wasn't the time for humor.


"I'm not in a gang." I said with a shaky voice.  They all crowded around
making me feel like a guppy in a pool of sharks. Ten menacing faces of
varying skin shades and  body builds all glaring at me.  I felt so small
and then I felt the first fist land in my stomach and I doubled over in
pain.  First it was one kick, then it was two. After the fifth I lost
count.  All blows were directed to either my chest or stomach , but the
heel of one sneaker collided briefly with my cheek and all I could do was
curl up in a ball, hoping that I wouldn't get too hurt.  The whole ordeal
lasted less than a minute before I heard a booming voice order the guys
to stop their beating.  I was both overjoyed because my beat down had
ended and fearful because it was Nate who had stopped it.


"WHAT THE FUCK YOU NIGGAS DOING?" Nate yelled out.  My main tormentor,
the Mexican looking guy spoke up, but I could hear fear in his voice too.


"We was just letting this Fag know the deal.  He walking round her and
shit flying dat yellow flag like he don't know was sup!" He stated as he
looked over at me.  It dawned on me that he was referring to my sweat
shirt.  I didn't realize that this gang shit was so serious.  I didn't
think that wearing a certain color could cause me so many problems.  Nate
looked over at that guy who had just spoken and punched him dead in his
face.  Out of no where, BAM and the blood immediately began to spill from
his nose.   Two of his friends had to catch him so he wouldn't fall to
the ground.  He looked up at Nate with hate in his eyes, but didn't say
anything.


"JORGE DON'T GIVE ME THAT SHIT! YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO BE ON THE BLOCK RIGHT
NOW GETTING ME MY DOE! I DON'T HAVE TIME TO DEAL WIT YOU YOUNG ACTING
NIGGAS! LEAVE THE KID ALONE, HE COOL.  HE BE ROLLING WIT MANDY.  DON'T
WORRY BOUT HIM, JUST GET YOUR ASSES ON THE BLOCK AND SELL MY SHIT.  DEM
CRACK HEADS JUST ITCHING FOR A HIT."  Nate yelled and all the guy
dissipated down the street, not before throwing ominous looks my way.
Nate turned to help me up and I took his hand so I wouldn't insult him,
but I hated touching his dry, clammy hands.  As I was getting up,  I
could fell sharp, throbbing pains in my side.  I could taste the metallic
taste of blood in my mouth, but thankfully it wasn't a lot.  My cheek was
sore, but luckily it didn't feel like it was swelling, but I knew that it
would be a different story underneath my shirt.


"Thanks." I said before I turned my attention back down up the street to
look for the bus.  I didn't want to make small talk with him, but he was
making no move to leave.  He just stood there for a moment gazing at me
and I became uncomfortable.  I tried to pretend he wasn't there, but he
stepped in front of me, blocking my view of the street.  I looked around
and was thankful for all the people that were around, even it they were
all just kids.  He may have had an attractive face with his naturally
smooth light brown skin , but there was something just plan evil about
him that good looks couldn't hide. He smirked at me and licked his lips
as he came so close to me that I could feel his breath brush against my
face.


"How bout you show a nigga how thankful you really are."  He said
flirtatiously and I grew nauseous.  The nerve  that he had sickened me
and it was mixing with my fear.  I rolled my eyes at him and didn't say
anything; I didn't know what I could say.  I felt sort of helpless in a
way and that's what I hated the most.  I didn't like the feeling that
someone had power over me, but as weird and twisted as it may seem, in
some strange way he did.  He possessed this quality to bring this feeling
of fear inside of me that I only had felt once before and I hadn't seen
Hector since I was seven.  Nate' s face darkened with anger and he looked
around us to make sure the coast was clear before he threatened me once
again.  "You know you got a little habit of running away from me.  You
starting to piss me off wit dat shit and you don't want to do dat!  I
think you know what the deal is..Now what card you gonna play?"  He
continued to hiss and with that said, he walked off.


I watched him confidently swagger down the street as if he were a king.
His cocky arrogance was revolting, but I would be a liar if I didn't say
that he put a fear inside of me.  There was a  chill that I thought I
would never feel again returning ever so quickly.  It slowly started
dancing its way down my back and down to my toes.   A sigh of relief
escaped my throat as I saw the bus approaching.  I was so shaken up  by
my encounter with Nate that my trembling fingers had trouble stuffing my
dollar in the cash slot. I sat down and gazed out the window, lost in my
thoughts.  We road pass Nate and he looked up at me and winked as he
shuffled his hands as if he was cutting a deck of cards.  I placed my
forehead against the window and trepidation and dread filled my heart.
Remember that fear that I said he no longer held over me, at that moment
it returned and I didn't know what that meant.  When ever I think things
are going to one way, they always go another.  I just wondered what road
I was headed for.....

                          To Be Continued

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***Okay, you know the drill,  thoughts? This is the halfway point.
Things are gonna start shaking and moving so get ready.  Oh,
and there is some loving in the next chapter!

Copyright 2005