Date: Wed, 2 Sep 1998 08:16:31 -0700
From: Dmetri Xavier <dmetrixavier@hotmail.com>
Subject: Coming Of Age

Disclaimer: the following story is fiction, but contains graphic
representation of male/male emotional and sexual relationships.  If you are
offended by such material, I ask you why are you here?  Also, if you are
under that age that is legal in your community to view adult-oriented
material, especially that of the homosexual genre, then you shouldn't be
here.  But then again, if you are, whose going to stop you right?  All
concerned: proceed with caution.

Questions or comments are greatly appreciated and can be directed to 
dmetrixavier@hotmail.com, flames of course will be ignored.
     
    The day was exceptionally warm, with temperatures rising to 109
degrees.  Allan sat in his boxer shorts in the living room of his Valley
apartment.  The small wall-unit air conditioner wasn't doing any good.  He
couldn't decide which was worse, the heat of the outside or the heat
indoors.  It was just too damned hot to do anything, much less cook, and he
decided just to order pizza, since he was hungry and it was almost 6:30
p.m.  He ordered the Veggie-Supreme from one of the local shops, and was
lazily awaiting its arrival when his doorbell rang.
    "It has to be the pizza," he thought to himself.  He was in no position
to answer the door, so he shouted, "Just a minute!" and ran and grabbed a
pair of cut-off jean shorts from his bedroom.  Shaking them on quickly, he
made a mad dash for the door as the doorbell sounded again for the fifth
time.  As he opened it prepared to shout at the culprit, he was pleasantly
surprised at seeing on of the local boys from the building delivering it
for him.
    The boy's name was Jesus, and he was known around the complex as being
quite the Casanova.  Allan knew that most of the gossip was just started by
a group of Latinas that really wanted him bad.  Allan knew Jesus really
well; he was mixed between a white father and a Mexican mother, and he had
had a very tough life up until Allan came along.  Allan was proud at the
man he was becoming.  He had been tutoring him for some time after talking
him out of dropping out of school.  Now the boy was a man, ready to
graduate high school and start studying at the local junior college.
    "Hey Jesus, what this?"
    "Nothing much, man.  Just something to bring me in some money so that I
can pay the insurance on my car."
    "Don't worry about it.  I had a job similar while I was in school.  So
how much do I owe you?"
    "Thirteen dollars and eighty-seven cents."
     Allan walked over to the entertainment center where his wallet lay and
pulled out a twenty, then handed it to the youth, "Here.  Keep the change."
     "Really?  Thanks man," he said while turning to walk away.
     Allan thought about it for a moment, and stopped him, "Jesus?"
    He turned back around, "Wassup?"
    "Have you eaten yet?"
    "Nope.  Actually you were my last delivery.  I've already clocked out
at work and since you were on my way home, I told my boss that I'd deliver
to you.  Why, you offering?"
    "Yeah, why not?  I can't eat this thing by myself."
    "Cool...do you mind if I use your phone and call my mom.  I'll just
tell her I'm eating over here again."
    "Go right ahead."
    Jesus made the phone call, and then sat down opposite Allan in a chair.
Allan opened up the pizza box in front of him, and then began doling out
two pieces a piece for him and Jesus.  They began eating, and laughing
about old times until Jesus spoke up, "Do you have anything to drink?"
     "Yeah, I do.  What do you want?"
    "Got a beer?"
    Allan looked at him strangely.  Jesus had made a point of telling him a
long time ago that he was never going to drink alcohol in his life, because
of the problems his mom had with his father.  His father was an alcoholic,
and Allan had a sneaking suspicion that he used to beat Jesus and his
brothers.  He was sure that the man beat his wife.
    "Yeah, I've got a beer, but not for someone who promised to himself
that he would never drink."  A silence lapsed.  Allan noticed Jesus wasn't
looking toward him.  He could smell something wrong, "Jesus, what's the
matter man?  Is something up?"
    "Nah, I was just kidding.  You got a coke?"
     Allan tossed him a coke.  Jesus caught it and popped the top.  He took
a big swig off of it.  Allan knew this kid very well; he had kind of been
his big brother since he moved into this building.  There was something
wrong, and by the look on Jesus' face, it was serious.
    "Okay, spill it."
    "Spill what?"
    "What's wrong with you Jesse?" said Allan.  Jesse was his pet name, and
nobody but him or his mother called him that, "I can see that look on your
face."
     Jesus stared at him indignantly, "What look?"
     Allan indicated the boy's face and handed him a small vanity mirror
that was used for decoration, "That look.  You've either gotten yourself in
deep, or you got your heart broken.  Which is it?"
     Jesus stared at him again for a moment, and then turned away. He
pulled the pizza company's cap off his head, revealing his deep brown curls
closely cropped to his skull and faded out on the sides.  He sat the hat
down, and looked at Allan, who was all confused.  Allan looked down into
the boy's bronze-green eyes, and he saw a lot of pain.  He was seriously
all the more confused.
    "Sit down, please, Allan."
     Allan sat down next to the youth on the sofa.  Jesus moved closer to
him.  Allan was feeling very uncomfortable with the situation already, "So
what's wrong?"
    "I know about you man.  I know all about you now."
    "What do you mean you know all about me?  I know you do, I told you
remember?"
    Jesus moved just a slight bit closer to Allan, and he could feel a
heated tension between them.  Jesus' face was almost unreadable, and Allan
knew that the boy had something up his sleeve.  He spoke again, this time
dropping the bombshell, "I know who you love."
     Allan was scared.  Genuinely scared.  He knew that this boy had a mean
temper, and he was beginning to think that he should have been honest and
just told the boy as soon as he was able to understand that he was gay.  By
the way Jesus was looking at him, though, Allan knew he knew.  Jesus was a
football player, and kept his body in great shape.  He worked out every
day, and had built up quite a body.  Allan knew the boy outweighed him now
about fifty pounds.  Jesus continued, "I know you love other guys."
     Allan was in a severe shock.  He didn't know what to do, and as he
tried to speak, his long-time stutter shone clear, "Jesse,
I....I...did....didn't know...wa...wa...what...," Alan stood up off the
couch and cleared his head, "I didn't know how to tell you, and I didn't
want you to hate me..."
     Jesus stood up and came within an inch of Allan face, "Man, I've known
all along.  I want you to know something.  I love you." Allan could feel
the boy's breath on his face, "I love you, and I've wanted you for a long
time." And with that, Jesus pulled Allan closer to him, and kissed him
gently on the lips.  When Allan didn't respond right away, Jesus wrapped
his arms around him, and kissed him again, this time sliding his tongue
between Allan's teeth.  The electricity that passed through them was
palpable.  Allan broke away from him and stood up.
    "Jesse, I can't do this. It's not right, and you're too much like a
little brother to me."
     Jesus stood up, and took a drink off the coke can.  He answered
seriously, "Man this has nothing to do with that.  I love you like a
brother too, but I know now that I want to love you more than that.  It's
not your fault Allan.  Man, you didn't make me this way; I've been this way
for a long time.  I knew I didn't care too much for girls ever since I was
thirteen years old.  I've had a crush on you ever since you moved into this
building, but I always thought that you were straight, until now.  I don't
know what made me think about it, but it just seemed like you might be like
me.  I've never seen you with anybody, so I figured either you're goin' for
the priesthood or your gay.  I've tried to hit on you before, but I stopped
because I knew that a guy like you wouldn't mess with a minor," Jesus
walked closer to Allan and took his shuddering body into his arms, "I'm not
a minor anymore." And with that he kissed Allan again, this time more
forcefully, but with the same gentle yearning.
     This time Allan responded.
    There they stood, in Allan's living room, kissing just as passionately
as two lovers who hadn't seen or heard each other for several years.  Their
tongues twined deeply together, and they both began feeling that deep down
burning sensation you do when you kiss someone you really want and feel
attached to, not just sexually, but emotionally.  Their baser nature took
over, and they began the slow and erotic process of undressing each other
one piece of clothing at a time.  Of course, Allan was nude before he had
even gotten Jesus' jeans off.  The kiss broke, and Allan took the boy into
his arms, and they held each other tightly, letting hands explore otherwise
unknown regions. The grip on each other seemed to last hours, then Jesus
broke the hold by kissing Allan and reaching for his hand.  He then led the
object of his desire into the bedroom.  They both collapsed on the bed, and
then looked toward the ceiling, stunned at what was taking place.
    Jesus spoke breathlessly, "What the hell was that?"
    "I don't know.  You started it." answered Allan, almost in disbelief.
    Jesus rolled over facing Allan, and propped himself onto his elbow,
cradling his head, "I don't know what happened.  I was just sitting there,
and all the sudden I got the urge to come out to you. I guessed by the way
you started shaking and stuff that I figured you out, so I took a chance by
kissing you."
    Allan seemed lost, not sure what to do.  This was a boy that he had had
a hand in raising, but at the same time this "boy" just proven himself to
be a very serious and sexual man.  The age difference didn't bother him
really; he was only 7 years older than he.  Still, he couldn't shake that
"incestuous" feeling, like he was making out with a brother.
    Allan answered as honestly as he could, "I don't know what to think
right now.  This feels strange."
    Jesus tossed his head back slightly and giggled, "It kinda felt like I
was kissing my older brother, or my old man," at this Allan screwed up his
face in a nasty look; Jesus continued, "but only for a minute.  Then it
felt right, like I was supposed to be doing this." The kid had a point.
Allan had felt the same way, and it wasn't until his conscience got in the
way that he felt guilty.
    "I feel like I'm taking advantage of you."  Allan answered.
     Jesus gave him a puzzled look, "Why? Because I'm younger?"
     Allan was equally as puzzled, "No, believe it or not that doesn't
bother me.  It's just....I don't know....I can't find the words.  I just
feels strange, like 'here is a kid who had trusted you a lot, and now your
breaking that trust by invading something very personal about him'."
     "I'm not a virgin, Allan.  I have been with other guys, but only to
see who and what I was.  Do you think it's easy for a macho Latino football
player to admit that he'd rather fuck the quarterback than one of the
hottie cheerleaders?  It's not man, let me tell you.  I've been doing a lot
of...what is that called again?"
    "What do you mean?"
    "You know, that thing you do when you're trying to 'find yourself'?"
     Allan thought for a moment, "Oh, you mean soul searching?"
    Jesus nodded seriously, "Yeah that's it.  I really thought about this
for a long time.  Ever since I started high school, and you started helping
me out with my work and stuff.  I felt connected to you, like I was
supposed to be with you.  I didn't realize that I was I love with you until
a couple of months ago, when I started realizing that I was comparing every
guy I was with to what it would be like with you."
     Allan turned to face him, "Do you even know what love is?  You're only
eighteen."
     Jesus countered, "Yeah, and you're twenty-five.  Do you even know what
love is?"
     "He's got me there," Allan thought to himself.
    He remained silent for a few minutes, until Jesus spoke up again, "I
don't know what love is, and neither do you.  Maybe we can teach each
other, " he smiled sheepishly, "It couldn't hurt, could it?"
    Allan looked into the eyes of the young man in front of him.  They were
a beautiful, deep amber-green, and they sparkled with a certain innocence
and trust.  He didn't want him to lose that, and he was afraid he would if
they got involved and something went wrong.  He felt stupid, because all of
the sudden tears welled up into his eyes.  Jesus saw this, and bent down to
kiss Allan's tears.
    "I don't want to hurt you." Allan whispered simply.
    Jesus was taken aback.  He didn't know what to say to this, or what to
do.  He suddenly felt conscience of the fact that they were both naked in
Allan's bed, and he felt ashamed.  Ashamed that he brought them here, and
ashamed that he was hurting the one man he knew he truly loved. Allan then
looked up into his eyes through the blurry tears, and saw the pain in them.
    At that moment, the two men saw the true other, the part that is
usually hidden from view.  The pure and unabashed person; a glimpse of the
other's soul.  A soft, gentle passion rose between them.  They kissed each
other cautiously, and a spark settled between them.  This kiss was
different from the first, because both men wanted it.  Both wanted it to
lead them forward, to take them further until they just couldn't keep going
anymore. They were still facing each other, tentatively reaching out for
each other physically as well as emotionally.
    They broke the kiss, and began exploring the rest of their upper bodies
with their lips.  They kissed and nipped at the other's neck and earlobes,
took turns kissing their way down each other's chest, to engage the nipples
in a tongue-bath.  They moved closer together, ready to devour each other.
Legs intertwined, cocks pushing and throbbing together, arms and hands
exploring every sensitive area on the other's body.  Allan finally pulled
Jesus on top of him, carefully brushing a loose ringlet from his forehead.
Unspoken words flowed between them; Jesus wanted to explore Allan's body.
     Jesus swirled his tongue slowly and languorously over Allan face and
neck, tasting the perspiration that had begun beading there.  He moved
lower, admiring the man's smooth and defined physique.  He rubbed and
played with the pectorals, and then bent to lick and caress the nipples.
Allan moaned.  He moved lower, sucking and tasting the man's navel, until
he reached the pubic area.  He moved his face lower into Allan's bush of
light brown pubic hair, noticing the stark contrast between that and
Allan's head full of flaxen blond hair.  He smelled the scent of his lover,
and began to lick his way down further.
     Allan fanned his hands through Jesus' head of dark chestnut curls, and
unknowingly by instinct led the young man's head to his own raging
erection.  Jesus lightly lifted the shaft into his mouth, working his way
down it quickly, until his nose was buried inthose scented curls again.
Allan moaned again, amazed at this kid's ability. Jesus' blowjob was
exquisite torture for Allan.  He knew just went to stop and just when to
pick up the pace.  Eventually, he moved down to Allan's scrotum, taking
each testicle into his mouth and bathing it.  Then he moved down to the
space between Allan's balls and anus.  Jesus concentrated a lot of force
there, making Allan shiver with desire.  He moved lower, planting feathery
light kisses down to Allan's sphincter.  He gently ran his tongue around
its perimeter before pushing it in.
    Allan almost passed out at this feeling.  Jesus was turning his entire
body into one big wiggling Jell-O mold.  Jesus continued his tongue play on
Allan's hole, until Allan just couldn't stand anymore.  He wanted this boy
completely.  He wanted this man to make love to him. He pulled Jesus up to
face level by the shoulders, and Jesus instinctively knew what Allan
wanted.  He positioned his cockhead at Allan's opening, and gently pushed
his way through the tight anal ring.  Allan rarely ever engaged in anal
sex, but with Jesus it just seemed right, like he was supposed to do it.
    Jesus was in shear heaven.  Allan's tightness surrounded his pulsating
member, and he almost shot right there.  But somehow, he restrained
himself.  He wanted this to last a long time.  Allan was making this
severely hard for him too.  He was gripping his ass cheeks, sliding his own
fingers up and down Jesus' anus, while Jesus was embedded deep inside him.
Jesus began to slowly pulsate his hips in and out of Allan.  They held each
other tightly while they enjoyed every sensation exploding inside them.
    Jesus was able to hold off and make it last for what seemed like
forever.  Both men were ready to explode, and Jesus felt this about Allan.
He wanted them to feel this first orgasm together, so he slowly pulled out
of Allan and slid his cock right up beside his lover's.  They began to pump
against each other quickly, kissing and exploring the other's mouth and
neck.  The climax was coming.  The held each other tightly, until suddenly
their cocks began releasing semen in torrents inbetween their bellies,
mixing it together.  Their grips on each other tightened until the sweet,
violent shaking and shuddering subsided.
    They were like this for a long time, holding each other like the other
was the last lifeline to earth.  They dosed in and out of sleep, too wore
out from the experience.  They began to shift, and then nestled together
with Jesus sleepily lying in the crook of Allan's shoulder.  Their arms
were wrapped around each other, and both were contemplating about what was
next.
     But at this moment, at this time, they both separately decided to let
that unfold onto itself.  For now they were happy enough to have shared
such a moment with each other. And at the same time, both whispered, "I
love you," the two voices blending together perfectly.  They then drifted
to sleep.

I do hope you've enjoyed my story.  As I said before, question, comments,
and feedback are greatly appreciated.  Email me at dmetrixavier@hotmail.com
I love answering others letters, so please do write and tell me what you
think.