Date: Tue, 31 Oct 2000 22:03:44 MST
From: Matthew Mejia <mejiaop@hotmail.com>
Subject: guerrito-3

m/m interracial

Thanks to the people who wrote me, that's why I'm still writing (this was
suppose to be a one story thing)

Disclaimer: If you are offended by sex between guys, interracial sex, drug
use, or just easily offended, now is the time to hit "back" on your
browser.  If you are underage in your area, your suppose to leave too (ya,
whatever).

Is this a true story?  I'm not telling which parts are and which parts
aren't.  I'm not giving real names, and I'm not giving the name of the
city.  Some things are just better as an unknown.

As all things, this is dedicated to A.D. in N.M.  Santa...  Your still an
asshole, and I still love you.

Guerrito-3 `life in the barrio'

One of my real bitches in life is that no matter what is going on, reality
just rears its ugly head and fucks everything up.  Sometimes it is as
simple as somebody just fucking up your high, and sometimes its a whole lot
worse.  So here I sit, drunk and stoned (some drugs mix better than others,
it's all good.) and worse of all, alone.  I think I fucked it up, again.

Like I said before, I wasn't sure what was going on, what exactly to make
of all of this.  But I knew that it was something.  It meant something.  I
was feeling something, fuck that was the problem.  I was feeling something.
Let me bring you up to date.

Red and I woke up, and after being all cute with each other we got going.
Red went back to his dorm and I got my shit together.  I checked my pager
and then made some calls to my supplier.  As I sat drinking coffee, waiting
for some calls to come in, I contemplated again if I could some how get
things going easier.  Well I didn't exactly want to launch a meth lab (that
shit explodes too easy and smells.) but still I'm sure I could come up with
another way to get things going.

My call comes and I make arrangements to get my stuff.  I get in my ride
and go get it.  Things are going pretty normal.  I go to the store and pick
up some meat and and stuff (yes I can cook, but I don't clean.) and go to
Angie's house.

"Bitch, what up?"

"Kids, what else"

"you in the mood to break stuff up?"

"Sure, let me dump the kids in the other room"

So off we go and start cutting up some coke and making those nice
individual packages you all like (how else did you think this shit
happens?)  Like I said, things are running smooth.  But reality always
comes, it always comes.  See, me an my boys (Angie is one of the boys) have
pissed off a lot of people.  It happens to easy.  But fuck, it happens.

Things were going well until I went to meet somebody to sell some shit.
That wasn't the problem.  As I'm going back to my car I get a shout out,
that I ain't so happy to hear.

"You fucking punk, what the fuck are you doing over on this side of town?
Mother fucker, you know your on the wrong side now."

So selling on the westside is not without danger, but life is not without
danger They came fast, too fast.  I was by myself and couldn't move fast
enough.  I haven't been jumped since I was a kid.  There was three of them,
but three against one was a bit much.  I ain't exactly a big person, and
one of the guys was pretty big.  I was hit a couple of time before I could
even react.  A blow to the face and one to the stomach and I fell against
my car.

"What the fuck you faggots, you gotta jump someone cuz you ain't a man?!"

"Bitch, I'll show you what kinda man I am, fuckin little crip"

A couple more blows, I had to absorb them cuz my hands were busy.  I
reached as quickly as I could for my gun.  I couldn't move fast enough as I
kept getting hit, or at this point kicked in the stomach and back as I was
on the ground.  Once I got a steady grip on my 9 I aimed at the big ones
head.

"Anybody so much as fucking think to hard and I'm poppin that fat head of
yours and your mama won't know who the fuck you are.  Which is nothin new,
ain't like she knows who your dad is."

Ok, so we get our digs were we can. I couldn't afford to shoot anybody from
were I was.  Too many complication, and I honestly don't want to shoot
anyone anyway.  I pressed my body against the car and slid myself up as I
watched them.

"Get the fuck away from me"

They didn't say anything, they just backed off.  I got my keys ready with
my other hand and got my ass in the car as fast as possible and got the
fuck out of there.  This was no longer your regular Tuesday night.  I got
my ass home, it is about 2am with me so tired all I could do was go to bed.

I woke up around 11am and realized I had fallen asleep on top of all the
sheets on the bed, in my cloths, with my gun still in my hand.  I slowly
stripped my cloths off my body.  Enough time had passed, I was a giant
fucking bruise.  As I looked in the mirror I could see that I had a black
eye, a bruise on my jaw, and large bruises all over my body from being
kicked.  I couldn't see if my back looked as bad as my chest and sides, but
it felt like shit so I knew it was pretty bad.

I ran some hot water in the tub, rolled a joint and smoked while I soaked.
That made my body relax.  But my mind was still racing.  What the fuck!  I
should have been faster, I should have gotten my gun out, I should have
shot the motherfuckers.  Reality ain't like the movies, and this shit hurt!

I got my ass in gear and ate a bit and checked out the machine.  Red had
left the only message.

"Um, shit I feel like a fifth grader again.  I hope this doesn't wake you
up cuz it's all early.  I'm off to my 8:30 class so I know you won't get
this for a while.  But you could like call and maybe we could like go eat
or somethin.  Anyway I'll talk to you later."

At least that made me smile.  I guess having the shit beat out of me let me
feel a little less uncomfortable with this situation.  I called Jose and
told him the story.  He told Angie and she got it out to everyone else.  I
wasn't exactly sure what we should do about this.  You just don't put up
with that shit.  But I didn't know these guys that had jumped me, just that
they were little westside G's.  Fuck, that was enough information right
there.

I fucked around on the computer (an imac, the official computer of
gangsters and their bitches in ghettos around the world--ok, not really)
doing the shockwave thing and waited until 5pm.  Then I called Red.

"Yo dawg, what up?"

"Nuttin, just sittin readin for class."

"Oh, well if you want I'll let you little ass study" I joked.

"You fuckin punk, don't be pullin that."

"Na, its all good.  So you wanna come over?  I thought maybe you could come
and then we'll figure out somethin for food."

"Thats cool."

"I'll be over in a sec."

And so I got my ass in the car, and that hurt.  Just moving around really
hurt.  A couple of kicks to the ribs really makes your body sore .  I
didn't want to tell Red what had happened, especially over the phone.  He
would see all too soon anyway.  On the car ride to his dorm I decided there
really wasn't anyway out of this short of not seeing him, and I wanted to
see him.  So once he say me I would explain the black eye, and everything
else.

I walked into the dorm, it was early and everything was still unlocked, and
made my way down to his room.

"Hey!  Oh my God, what the fuck happened?!"

"I'm happy to see you too Red."

He reached up and gently touched my face

"Damn, little homie you got hit!"

"No, I got fucked up.  I'll tell you about it in the car."

We got into the car and headed for my house.  I told him what about the
night before.  He was kinda shocked.

"Well, it's just the way things are.  I mean I ain't happy about it.  But
fuck.  Some days your the the windshield and some days your the bug.  It's
to be expected."

"Ya, but damn."

Once we got into the house he wanted to see how badly I was bruised.

"Ok, so let me see the rest of you."

"You sound so sexy when you say that."  I said as I took off my shirt.  It
even fucking hurt to take off my shirt.

"Fuck!  You are a bruise, just one really fucking large bruise!"

"Thank you, that was the look I was going for.  Black and blue are sexy
colors."

"Does in hurt...?" He asked as he reached to touch my chest.

Flinching I said "A little, ya."  There was some silence as he looked at
me, still shocked.  It was at that moment that it came to me, 'what was I
getting him into?'  I quickly pushed it to the back of my head.  This was
not something I needed to deal with.

"Ok, so what about dinner?"  I said, taking Red by surprise with the sudden
shift of mood.

"What ever."

"Ok, how about you be helpful."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see."

It didn't take long and I had him helping me in the kitchen.  He was
cutting onion and stirring beans.  It wasn't anything fancy, just beans and
red chile, tortillas and eggs.

"I didn't know you could cook!"

"It was just me and my mom, I had to learn to do a whole lot of different
shit to take care of us.  It just was what it was, we did it."

We ate, and he spent the night with me just hanging out.  We were only
disturbed by a single phone call (I turned off my pager).  It was Lencho,
one of the boys (short for Lorenzo).  He was calling about tomorrow.  It
told him I'd come and meet them at his house tomorrow night and we'd take
care of it.

When it got late enough I simply said "lets go to bed." and we did.  There
was no feeling it out, we just went to bed (I was too damn hurt to have
sex), but it was nice to not have to be so careful trying to feel things
out.  And for as much as my body hurt, it was nice to hold him in my arms.

Morning came, and Red took off and kissed me goodbye as he headed out the
door.  I offered to get up and take him back to the dorm, but he said he
would take the bus and to just go back to bed.  I eventually got up and did
all the normal kind of things.  I didn't realize that what I was about to
do was going to cause me some real drama.  Cuz that is the one thing I
hate, is drama.  Let me just get to when the shit hit the fan.  Like I
said, Red had figured out that the bus runs by my house.  So he thought he
would surprise me by coming to see me at night.  But I wasn't there, I was
at Lencho's with Jose.  We were taking care of problems.

Planning a drive by is kinda a pain in the ass, but it seemed the
appropriate retaliation.  When we were done, we headed to my house, me in
my car and Jose and Lencho in Lencho's car.  As we pulled up into the
driveway, who do I see but Red on my doorstep.

"Que Onda Vato?"

"I thought I'd drop by, that's all."  He said, looking at the ground.  I
guess he felt embarrassed with Jose and Lencho being there.

"Thats cool" I said as I opened the door and we all went in.

"So what's up with everybody in all black?"

Now this would have been the right time to NOT say what had just happened.
At that is why we have friends, to help us get into trouble at times when
we might not be able to do it ourselves.  So Lencho pipes in,

"We's all in black so it's harder to see its us."

"Ok, so I'm confused."

"Lencho, shut up!"  He only looked at me confused and kept talking.

"You don't want people to see you when you do a drive by."

Red looked at me with such a look of surprise, you would have thought I
just put a baby in the blender.

"You fucking did what!"

I made the decision very quickly.  This might blow my cover, but Red was
more important.

"Fuck, that's it.  Everybody out of the fucking house!"  I roared Jose and
Lencho dove for the door and took off.  Red didn't miss a beat.

"What the fuck!!  Is this cuz you got jumped!!"

"Ya, so!  What did you think I would do!"

"Well, I didn't expect this!  Fuck.  What the fuck!  Does this mean people
will be coming and shooting at you now!"

"We'll, they already do.  it's not a big deal.  You just gotta show people
what's up.  It was a matter of honor."

"What!!  That is the most fucking stupid thing I have ever heard!!"

At this point I had closed the space between us, I didn't mean to be
threatening, but I guess I was.  I started to get up in his face.

"Look, this is about keeping my ass safe.  If we didn't strike back we
become a real target."

"And people shooting at you doesn't make you target.  Fuck!!  Get out of my
face, you think you gonna hit me too!  Is that how you solve problems?"

I jumped back at that.

"How can you even think that I would ever hurt you?"

"You already have.  Fuck.  I don't know, fuck.  I'm going home."

"Red..."  He moved for the door and then turned around.

"No, not now.  Fuck it I'm going home.  I'll talk to you later."

With that he left.  I almost followed him, but I figured it would only make
it worse.  I had made it bad enough already.  Which brings us back to where
we started, me stoned and drunk and really depressed.