Date: Tue, 11 Oct 2005 21:01:35 -0400
From: S N <sum1plezzcall_911@hotmail.com>
Subject: Heavens_Just_A_Sin_Away, Chapter21

Disclaimer: This is a FICTIONAL story describing the love triangle of a
teenage boy. If you are not over 18 years of age, or if you find this type
of story offensive, or viewing this material is illegal where you are, then
refrain from reading it. The story consists of lust, passion, teenage
romance, interracial, love and all the rest of the good stuff in that
order... Prepare for sin

                    Chapter 21: Snow Is Satan's Butt-Buddy!
/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~////~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~////~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~////~~~~~

     I was guilty of gluttony.

     T-Boy was guilty of sloth.

     Ms. Nicole was guilty of avarice.

     Byron was guilty of lust

     Sampson was guilty of envy.

     Mercedes (Trash) was guilty of wrath.

     Dr. Lopez was guilty of pride.

     Those were the 7 sins listed by Dante's Divine Comedy (in the
Purgatory).  I had a lot of time to read when I sat in detention.  I
learned more in detention then in class.  I'd realized that my past was
covered with sins and sinners.  With so many sins surrounding me, I also
realized that no one was truly perfect.

     I had come to the conclusion that Brunswick was some kind of
representation of hell on earth.

     Ever feel like you had to run away and you had to do it at that very
moment?  You ever feel like you just needed a change of scene to help you
figure things out?  I wanted a break now.  I wanted a get-away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~////~~~~~ It was
Friday and I was finally ready to go on the trip.  I'd spent all week
preparing for it.  I had found a couple of nice snow outfits for the
mountain area that we were going to.  Ms. Nicole had booked the place.  It
was somewhere in the Pocono Mountains.

     I definitely needed this trip.  The school had gotten a little crazy.
Everyone had mixed emotions when they found out that I was beefing with Big
Rob, Erica and the other admired students.  It seemed like I was the most
well- known boy in the school, but I was beefing with everyone that decided
who was popular or not.  There was this whole buzz around the school.
People walked around me as though they were walking on glass.  They were
careful to see every move I made, as though expecting me to publicly get
into an argument with the popular kids around me.  The weird buzz was
almost like watching a movie and you knew that a climax was coming soon, so
you sharpened your senses to make sure you didn't miss it.

     I needed a break from all that.  I wasn't going to say anything to Big
Rob and the others, if they didn't say anything to me.  The only thing that
seemed to be keeping a peace was the point that we had T-Boy in common.  T-
Boy (though standing up to Big Rob) was still friends with Big Rob and all
the popular kids.

~~~~~~~////~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     "Syn, I'll help you with your stuff," T-Boy offered.

     He took my biggest suitcase and headed out front out of my room.
T-Boy didn't seem to be so sad that Byron and I were going with Lamont and
Sampson for the weekend.  The only one in the house was Yolanda and she
definitely wasn't someone that would be getting in the way of any plans he
was making.

     Shane had walked in my room at that moment.  He had come over to see
me off.  He had even borrowed me his heavy coat because he said that it was
cold up north.

     "Lamont, Sampson and Byron are calling you still," Shane said as he
walked in my room.

     "Oh well," I shrugged.

     They'd been calling me for the last hour actually.  I wasn't about to
rush and forget something.  An hour of precaution was a lot better then a
weekend of regret.  Plus, I wasn't really accustomed to the whole winter
event thing.  I wanted everything to be perfect.

     "Its nice that you guys are taking that kid Lamont," Shane praised me,
"He definitely looked like he was too minutes away from suicide.  He needs
friends."

     I thought about what Lamont had told me.  He had told me he had
thoughts of bringing a gun to school.  Why would you bring a gun to school
if not to shoot someone?  In the Columbine situation, the kids turned their
guns on themselves afterwards.  It was homicide and suicide.  What would
Dante say about that kind of sin?

     "Its not really a charity thing, Shane," I said.

     Truth was I wasn't sure if it was or not.  I did feel sorry for
Lamont.
  I hated that he didn't have any friends, but I didn't want to seem like
pity was the only reason I was inviting him on this trip.

     "Yeah, ok," Shane continued, though not seeming too convinced.

     I looked around.  I had everything that I needed.  I had gloves, a
toothbrush and soap.  I had so many accessories packed in the small silver
bag that Shane had borrowed me.  It lay safely on the bed.  I was done.

      I turned to the door and began to climb down.  Shane followed me as I
left the room and my hands motioned freely with the pleasure of finally
being done packing.  It had taken an hour, but I was finally ready to have
my quick get away before Brunswick made me crazy.

     I walked outside to see them all waiting.  Lamont was the driver,
since he said he was familiar with where we were going.  Byron and Sampson
were talking in the background about something.  I didn't know what it was,
but I was sure it had something to do with their relationship.  I still
hadn't gotten over the fact that they were together.  Everyone seemed to
think it was a weird relationship.  No one said anything about it but I
could tell.  It was just weird to see another gay couple besides T-Boy and
I.

     "Took you an hour," T-Boy noted like I didn't know, "You got all your
bags ready in the car?"

     "Yeah, remember you brought them down yourself," I said and looked
over at Shane, "Hey, Shane. I got to ask you something really quick."

     We went into the corner so that no one could hear us.

     I whispered to Shane, "Can you come check on T-Boy every now and then?
Make sure things don't get that crazy."

     I looked over at T-Boy.  T-Boy was a very social person.  He would
definitely not be in the house alone with Yolanda all weekend.  He would
definitely have some company and most likely, he would have a party of some
sort.  I felt like a worried parent in a way.  I was even worrying about
Yolanda.  I know that she had screwed me before, but she seemed different.

     "I'm not going to burn your house down," T-Boy snickered, predicting
from a distance what I was telling Shane.

     "Better not," I warned and walked back over to him and the car.

     "I'll miss you sweetie," he said softly and then quickly switched it
up, "I mean, Syn sorry "

     Shane let out a little laugh.  It sure wasn't the first time that
T-Boy had referenced me as though I was still his boyfriend.  I wasn't sure
if he did it on purpose or if he truly kept forgetting we were no longer a
couple.

     I smiled and waved, "I guess I'm going."

     I didn't have to call shotgun.  I immediately got it.  Byron and
Sampson sat in the back.  I was sure it was because they wanted to talk to
one another.  Sampson and Byron really seemed to like each other a lot.
They spoke low in whispers as though they had a world all to themselves.
To them, it was as if everyone else had disappeared and they could all
share passionate hidden secrets that the world would never know.

     I watched from the rear-view mirror as Byron laid his head on
Sampson's shoulder.  Sampson smiled and put his head on top of Byron's
head.  The two spoke to one another with sentences so far separate that I'd
thought the conversation had ended a couple of times.

     "You ok driving?"  I asked Lamont, as he put the car in gear and
started towards the turnpike.

     "Sure " he said, "It'll be fun."

     We drove on.  I tried to talk further with Lamont, but he seemed a
little shy in front of Byron and Sampson.  He also seemed like he was
concentrating on his driving a little too much.  I had gotten used to his
uneasy behavior around other people already, so I just backed off to stare
out of the window.

     Old school hour was on and they played everything from the early
Michael Jackson to the golden years of the Isley Brothers.  I could see
Byron in the back trying to mouth off words to parts of the songs, but he
was horrible at it.  He didn't know the lyrics and was messing up the flow
of the songs.  Byron's singing voice wasn't terrible however, but the fact
that he kept messing up on the words was annoying.


~~~~~~~~~~~~////~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     We'd driven for three hours.  No one questioned Lamont about where we
were going, because he seemed so sure about it.  He hadn't slowed down to
rethink direction or he hadn't turned around at all.  He kept going, so we
all figured that he was fine.  That was until all of a sudden, he just
stopped and said that we were lost.

     It took us an extra thirty minutes to get back on the course that we
were supposed to be headed.  As the fourth hour passed I realized a change
in the weather.  It started to get real cold as we climbed the mountain
highway.  The route started to get a little rocky and I could do nothing
but pay attention to the road since the radio started acting funny.

     "It's snowing," Byron announced.

     I was surprised he'd even said anything.  He seemed so comfortable
snuggling up close to Sampson in the back.  They looked like they couldn't
get enough of one another.  Sampson had his arm over Byron and Byron was
straddling across Sampson's chest.  I didn't get why they were so close
even though the back had so much room.  It was cold in the car, but not
that cold since the heater was blasting.

     I noticed that Byron was right though.  It was snowing.  The white
powder was flaking from the sky slowly and I realized that we must
definitely be not that far from the mountain range.

     "My real mother used to love the snow," Sampson said strangely.

     He never really spoke of his real mother.  It was weird that he did
now.  I wasn't surprised that she liked the snow.  I mean, what kind of
person would actually 'choose' to live where it was cold unless they really
liked snow.

     Within not too long, the snow definitely seemed to pile up.  The sides
of the highway showed less lively buildings and black concrete.  A clean
white sheet of snow replaced the liveliness and that was all.  It seemed as
though the world was dying away in my eyes.  I had this whole nervousness
about it, but I had to admit that it was beautiful.

     "You ever keep in contact with your mother?"  Byron asked Sampson.

     "Nah.  Then again, she didn't keep in contact with me either," Sampson
explained.

     I didn't get it.  I had asked Sampson about his past but he never
really gave me a straight answer.  He always said he didn't want to talk
about it or that the timing wasn't right.
  Now as soon as Byron asked him, he was willing to answer.

     We made our way up the mountain range.  Lamont was driving slow,
probably nervous that he would scare us if he drove too fast.  I knew he
would scare Byron.  Byron was acting as though he didn't like the snow or
something.  He said he had a bad experience, but then again, I was sure
we'd all had bad experiences with snow.  He was just kind of whining a lot
about how Lamont should drive carefully.  Lamont being the kind of guy he
was didn't tell Byron to stop acting like a pussy.  He just drove slower.

     "Syn, you ok?"  Sampson suddenly asked me, "You been quiet."

     I rolled my eyes.  He'd been so busy with Byron that he hadn't even
really talked to me.  Why should I talk to him?

     "I'm fine.  You're talking to Byron.  I didn't want to interrupt."

     He suddenly got defensive, "You aren't interrupting, Syn."

     I knew that I was probably sounding like a resentful idiot that wanted
attention.  I probably was, but I knew it wasn't exactly right for me to be
acting like I was some kind of kid that needed notice or else I would get
that whole moody attitude.

     "No, its cool," I said laughing to lighten the situation, "Lamont's
keeping me company up here. Look, I think we are almost there."

     Lamont had taken some kind of exit.  The road twirled and I could see
that we must have been on some kind of mountain by the slopes.  It did seem
a little lively with little kids running around in the snow.  There were
people riding on this high-wire device that led to a slope.  We started to
see a couple of lodges. They were like short cottages made of wood.  They
formed a circle.  It looked like a little snow village or something.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     The resort area looked real nice.  There seemed to be a lot of people
that were our age around. Everyone looked real happy like they were in
Tahiti or something. I guess this was Tahiti to them.  Some people just
really liked cold areas and snow.  There was a hunting lodge and an ice
skating rink.  I even noticed a couple of restaurants as we slowly drove
through the resort area.

     "I'm hungry," I said, noticing the nice restaurant.

     Byron started to laugh, "All that food is going to sneak up on you in
your twenties."

     I knew he said it in a light joking manner, but I didn't laugh.  I
didn't like when people said food jokes.  "I'm hungry," was a very serious
statement as far as I was concerned.  You don't joke around when someone is
hungry.  Maybe he could have made the food joke after I ate, but not while
I was still hungry.

     "Do you see me complaining about your bad habits?" I snapped.

     He looked a little defensive, "What bad habits?"

     Sampson broke it up immediately, "Byron was just joking.  I'm a little
hungry too though.  Maybe we could stop at that restaurant over there."

     Byron stared at me with a little apprehension.  I knew he was joking,
but he'd just been getting on my nerves lately for even going out with
Sampson.  He knew Sampson used to have a thing for me.  Byron knew what bad
habits he had though.  We'd talked about it.  Byron fell in love too
fucking quickly.  I knew he was probably in love with Sampson even now.

     "Lamont, you hungry?" I asked, trying to get the majority.

     "Sure, if you are," Lamont shyly muttered.

     "Great.  That settles it."

     I watched as Byron pulled away from Sampson, a little bitchy.  He was
probably mad that he didn't get his way.  I secretly smiled.  My smile
faded when I saw Sampson pull Byron back into him.  Sampson kissed Byron
sweetly on the lips and wrapped Byron up in his arms.  Byron didn't seem so
disappointed anymore.

     I squirmed at Byron as we pulled over to the restaurant.  It looked
real nice.  Lamont and I exchanged these happy glances because we knew we
could finally get out of the car after all this time.  The backseat was
little more comfortable then the front if you were traveling for a long
period of time.

     I rushed out the car.  I snapped the door opened and pounced out.  I
was so happy that I could finally stretch

     My leg slipped! I bust my ass hard!

     "Syn, you ok!"  Sampson asked while still in the car.

     I gave a "yeah", but truth was it hurt like a bitch.  I had slipped on
the snow and landed face flat in it all.  A couple of onlookers gave soft
short laughs that embarrassed the shit out of me.

     Oddly, it was Byron who had come over to help pick me up off the
floor.
  I kind of wanted to tell him that I could do it by myself, but it would
probably seem like I was holding a grudge so I just let him help.

     "Thanks," I said.

     He smiled and started dusting me off.  The snow had covered my face
almost entirely.  I definitely had to stop being so apprehensive to this
guy.  It wasn't really all entirely Byron's fault that he was going out
with Sampson.  It was half Sampson's fault as well.

     "Syn, you should be more careful." Lamont explained, "Sometimes snow
has panes of ice underneath.  You still want to go eat or maybe we should
go find our cabin to check you out?"

     I sneezed, hoping I wasn't sick, "I'm ok, Lamont.  It was just a fall
"

     It had hurt a lot, but it was just a fall.  Nothing was broken.  My
face felt like I had just been slapped with an ice bag however.  I was
happy that they all had some kind of concern about me.  It made me feel a
little more secure about this whole trip.

     Sampson walked up to me, "I'll walk close to you so you can grab onto
me next time you feel like you are going to trip."

     "Me too," Byron said.

     They were being all extra nice.

     "Aw," I said and smiled, "You know what.  I'm going to pay for the
meal."

     I was getting a little resistance but I figured that the snow must
have put me in a good mood.  All that white was probably making me into a
generous person.  I went to the back of the car to look for the silver bag
that I had all my stuff in.  I noticed at that moment that Byron and
Sampson were holding hands.  They were holding hands.  It was just so
fucking weird.  They were always holding hands now.

T-Boy and I had our emotional moments, but we weren't anywhere as close as
Byron and Sampson were.  They seemed to be far more out of the closet and
damn well taking all their good outfits with them.

"Need help finding it?" Lamont asked.

With him asking that, I just noticed that I wasn't finding my bag.  I
looked around and couldn't locate it.  Lamont even started to look and we
both just could not find my silver duffel bag.  I started to panic.

"Its not here," I said, "How the hell could it not be here?"

"Your silver bag?"  Byron asked, "I remember T-Boy and I took all the bags
down but that one.  It was on your bed.  You said you had to pack a couple
of things in it."

Shit!  I'd left it on my bed.  I couldn't believe my roommates didn't
remind me, but then again I had completely fucking forgotten myself!  How
could I have been so stupid?  I had everything in that fucking bag.  I had
my wallet, I had my money, I had my toothbrush in that bag.  I had all the
basic essentials that I needed during the day in that damn bag.

"FUCK! I left it on my bed!"

     I was heated!  This trip was cursed or something? I did a running
start and kicked hard at the snow.  I could see the snow flying a couple
feet in the air.  Then all of a sudden I realized that I had kicked a
little too hard.  My other foot lost balance and both my feet flung in the
air!

My ass landed hard on raw ice beneath me.

A little piece of me died at that moment.  It was the smallest piece, but I
knew that a little piece died.  I felt like shit.  My nose was running
because of the first fall, my personal bag was gone and my ass was burning
after falling for the second time.  We had been out the car for less then
five minutes and all this bad luck!

"Damn, maybe we should have went straight to the cabin," Sampson said as he
and Lamont helped me get up.

I didn't even want to get up.  I felt them pulling at me and suddenly my
footing gave way.  I found myself being pulled back down to the ground.
Both Sampson and Lamont lost their grip on me (probably because my arms
were both covered in snow).  I ended up falling for the third time!

I pounded the ice hard and jumped up myself.  I started to rub my ass!  It
hurt so fucking bad.

"Ouch!"  I yelled.

"Um, ok," Sampson seemed to panic, "Why don't we split up?  Syn you go wait
in the car.  You're not that good with the snow.  Byron, can you go order
some take out from that restaurant?  Lamont, can you go find Syn a hot
water bag for his butt?  I'll go to that store and see if I can buy
replacements for some of Syn's stuff."

I felt like a total idiot.  I was being helped again.

I could only say "Thanks" so many times.  Byron and Lamont helped me to get
back in the car.  I couldn't even sit on my ass.  It felt like I was
sitting on a thousand needles.  I squirmed in pain as I patiently waited
for them to get back.  Sampson had gone the furthest, because it seemed
like the only convenient store was three or four lodges down.

     I wasn't sure where Lamont was going to get the hot water bag, but he
seemed to be looking everywhere.  I squirmed in pain while hoping he'd find
the hot water bag.  Byron was the one who was ordering the food.  His
boyfriend had given him the easiest job. The restaurant was right there.
All he had to do was wait for them to make it and bring it back.

     They all were spending money on me.  I felt so fucking useless.

     Suddenly my phone rang.  I was surprised to see that I even had
service all the way out here.  Cingular was a weird company.  They didn't
have service where I expected them to, but they did have it in the
mountains.  I hated the ringing because I had to actually move to pick up
my phone.  I shivered and picked up my phone.

     <Hello.>

     <Hey, Syn.  How are you?  How's the trip?>

     It was Ms. Nicole.  It was her fucking fault that I was in this
fucking snow hell!  My ass felt like it was having surgery done on it.  My
ass was the only thing that hurt while everything else was just numb.  My
nose was leaking and I was too stiff to even wipe it.

     <What the hell you want?>

     I wasn't in the mood.  I definitely wasn't in the mood.

     <Just checking on you and my son.  You two ok?>

     I hadn't told her that we brought Lamont and Byron on the ride.  What
was the point in telling her?

     <I'm a grown ass man.  I'll take care of your son.>

     Sampson was older that me but I knew she got the idea.  I wished I
could REALLY take a little bit more care of her son, but he had Byron for
that job now.

     <Did you take him to see his biological mother yet?>

     <No!  We just got here dammit!>

     <Syn, I sense a little anger.  Maybe we can have a heart to heart.
Maybe we can fix our friendship >

     I hung up the phone.  She was so fucking annoying.  We never had a
friendship to fix.  She was the mother of my close friend and ex-boyfriend.
That was all.

     Byron was the first to come back.  I smelled the food, but truth was I
was still wanting for Lamont to get back with that hot water bag.  I just
prayed they would all hurry up so we could find the cabin and get a little
relief.

     "Hey, Syn," Byron said as he put the food on the side, "Can I ask you
a question?"

     No!  My ass felt like it was the testing area for nuclear bombing.  I
didn't want to be asked any fucking questions.  I just wanted to sit there
until Lamont and Sampson came so we can get the hell out of the snow.

     I didn't want to be rude so I said, "What is it?"

     We were friends, regardless if he was dating Sampson.  I didn't want
him to think that I was jealous or anything.  I had to play it off, even
when my ass was feeling extremely sore.

     "Are you a top or a bottom?"

     "What?"  I asked, seeing it was a little too personal, "Why?"

     "I just needed to know," Byron said suddenly, "See it has to do with
Sampson and I.  I just wanted your advice."

     I didn't want to talk about my ass now.  But, I guess if it had to do
with Sampson

     "I guess I'm fully versatile," I explained, "I never really leaned
towards one side.  I guess if I like someone then I'd do whatever feels
good for him.  What does that have to do with Sampson and you?"

     "Well I was always a top," Byron said, "Even back when I was
escorting, the guys would basically just want to jerk my dick or suck it.
I had a condom on of course when they suck it you always have to use your
condoms "

     "Byron what is you point?"  I said; interrupting his crude talk about
his sexual past.

     "Well, Sampson is a top as well," Byron said.

     I wanted to laugh. That was actually funny.  It was funny because I
had given the thought that the two of them were actually tops.  Byron
seemed physically big with a lot of muscles and it just seemed awkward if
he would be a bottom.  Sampson was a little bit smaller, but his attitude
seemed really top-ish.  It was hard to explain when it came to preference.
If you were gay, you just knew sometimes

     "Didn't you guys have sex already?" I asked, forgetting the pain for a
second.

     Byron definitely seemed to trust me to be asking for my opinion in
this whole matter.  I felt obliged to help him in everyway that I could
since he seemed to think I knew more about the subject then he did.

     "Well not really," Byron said, "The day you walked in on us we were
attempting.  It didn't really work though."

     This was interesting, "Exactly how were you attempting?"

     Byron seemed to have no problems at all talking about his sexual life,
which made this all just a little bit more entertaining.  He seemed like
one of those no holds barred type of guys when it came to sex.

     "I tried to bottom for him.  It didn't work.  Then he tried to bottom
for me.  It was just a lot of wasted lube.  A lot of it!"

     I snickered a little.  I couldn't help it.  I spoke immediately to
hide the laugh, "Um, did you guys try oral?"

     "Neither of us wanted to do that "

     "Well ok, um," I said, thinking aloud, "Maybe he entered you too fast
when he tried to have sex with you.  Um I don't know "

      I really didn't know.  I had no idea why the fuck he was asking me
about this.  What did I know about sex?  The only guy I had sex with was
T-Boy (not counting the time Sampson was present for it).  I wondered if
Byron would be telling me this if he knew that I kept thinking about
Sampson.

     "What did you do the first time you was fucked?"

     This was weird!  I didn't know if I wanted to tell him.  I mean; I
didn't want him and Sampson fucking!  At least, I didn't want to be the one
to help it along!  It was basically a decision I had to make.  Was my
friendship with Byron a greater thing then my desire for Sampson?  I mean
Byron was putting me in a weird position!  He was looking at me as his
friend.  He was looking at me to help him with his problem with the guy I
liked.

     "Ok," I agreed to help him, "You have to work your ass muscles Byron.
You can't just have sex.  You got to let him finger you or maybe finger
yourself beforehand.  It's foreplay.  It will loosen you up a little."

     I was giving advice a guy who used to be an escort.  This was so
weird.

     "That's it?"

     "Well do it until you feel comfortable.  When you get used to the
fingers, move up to a small dildo, and then move up to a normal sized
dildo.  When you feel comfortable with that, then you should be ready."

     He smiled and leaned over the seat to kiss me on my cheek, "Thanks!
It makes sense!"

     I nodded, "Hope it works out."

     I really didn't know if I hoped, but I wasn't going to not help the
guy.

     "Do you think they sell any dildos out here?" Byron asked.

     Dammit!  I knew he was planning to have sex with Sampson out here.  I
thanked God that it was such a stupid idea to sell them out in the
mountains though.  Suddenly I heard a knock on the door.  It was Lamont and
Sampson and they'd returned.

     "What were you two talking about?"  Sampson said entering the car.

     "We were talking about how much my ass hurts and how much I hate the
snow," I lied, "It feels like I just got spanked with a metal rod."

     Lamont waved the hot pack at me and I wanted to get on my knees to
thank him immediately.  I looked at the hot water pack and then realized
that we didn't have any hot water to put in it.

     We started towards the cabin at that moment.  I wasn't really paying
much attention to all the nice scenes that were on the snow-capped town.  I
found myself sneezing more and more.  I hoped the snivels would pass so I
could enjoy my weekend, but it felt like the snow just didn't get along
with me at all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~////~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~////~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     We arrived at the cabin as the evening started to sneak up on us.
Byron wanted to go out and socialize, but I just wanted to make my ass stop
hurting from where I fell on it.  Sampson helped me get into the cabin.  I
wanted to complain a lot, but I couldn't even open my mouth because my ass
was still hurting and all I could think about was getting out of the cold.
As I stepped out of the car, I realized that it was snowing really hard
now.  The cold was unbearable.

     Sampson walked me into the cabin.  It was a wood cabin.  It didn't
look that big and definitely didn't look modern.  There was a guide there
who took our reservation number and handed us two keys.  The cottage
smelled like incense as I walked in.  I thought something was burning, but
Lamont said it was just how cabins smelled like.

     I walked into room and lay on my stomach while Sampson went to go get
the hot water bag ready.  When he came back, he handed it to me.

     "You should put it on the bare skin," he said and handed it to me.

     He walked out of the room.  When he did, I pulled down my pants and
put the bag on my ass.  It felt temperate immediately and I felt the
relief.  My ass definitely felt like I had dipped it in icy water for about
an hour.  I sat on that bed for about half an hour.  I think I even fell
asleep. It felt so good. Maybe it wasn't going to be all that bad.  I had
wanted to take Sampson to see his Ma today, but that shit was out the
window.  I definitely didn't feel like going out especially when it was
snowing outside.

     There was a knock on the door and Lamont came in.  I quickly threw a
towel over my ass and the hot water bag.  I mean, Lamont was cute, but I
didn't want to have myself exposed like that. He looked a little tired as
well, probably because he was the one who had driven this entire
way. Lamont had all his bags in his hands.

     "I guess we are roomies," he said and put his bags on the other bed,
"Sampson and Byron are kind of making out already in the other room."

     "Seriously?" I asked, shaking my head, "I know that T-Boy and I
weren't like that."

     "Its strange to me, too," Lamont said, "I never really seen two men
being so openly affectionate until I came to Brunswick.  You, T-Boy,
Sampson and Byron are just so different."

     "Is that a bad thing?" I asked.

     I couldn't tell what he had meant by it.  He seemed like Sampson and
Byron being a couple had taken him by surprise.  He seemed as though it was
weird.  Straight guys always seemed to think a lot about gay relationships.
It made me wonder about it all.

     "Nah," he told me and smiled, "I always supported it.  I just didn't
expect so many people to support it like in Brunswick.  Where I'm from, you
guys would probably be in hearses."

     "Wow "

     "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound morbid about it," he explained, "But
its true."

     I bet it was.  It was just weird that people could all hate others for
no reason.  How did what I do in my bedroom affect them or annoy them in
anyway?  It just made me think that people were naturally born evil and had
to work at being good.

     Gay people were around for centuries.  No one paid attention to it,
but we were here.  We were around thinking and contemplating.  We were
hiding and making love.  We weren't some new 'phase' or something.  We were
a race that had always been around and would probably always be around.

     "You seemed real interested about gay people," I said and laughed,
"Got something to tell me?"

     He chuckled, "You are a funny guy now aren't you?"

     I continued to laugh.  He was definitely different around me then he
was with everyone else.  He didn't talk around everyone else, not to
mention laugh.  I had started to think about it and started to laugh even
harder.

     Suddenly I felt him pulling away the towel and exposing my ass.  I
hadn't even seen him sneak up on me!  The breeze trembled my ass and I
squeezed my cheeks together so hard that the water bag fell off.

     "Wow," Lamont said laughing, "Look they're red."

     I threw the towel at him.  He DEFINITELY was a different person when
it was only me around.  He had this wide smile on his face and he actually
looked happy for once.  I couldn't help but laugh with him even though my
ass was all exposed.  I pulled up my pants, knowing that a lot of the pain
had gone away.

     "I wish everyone knew how you really were," I told him.

     He smiled, "Well how I really am is the quiet guy.  You do something
else to me.  You changed me, I guess."

     I doubted that.  I looked deep in his eyes.  He was so ideal.  His
lips had a perfect little curve.  His skin was the color of sand.  His hair
was the kind of hair that I dreamed I could have.  He was just so insecure
about something and I just couldn't figure out what it was.  He had the
muscles.  He had the figure.  He had a deep, attractive voice.  Why was he
so quiet and withdrawn?

     At that moment, Sampson and Byron walked in.  They were laughing about
something that I really didn't know.  I stared blankly, wondering what it
was that they were laughing about.

     "Hey, you guys want to go outside?" they asked, "The snow stopped and
there are firecrackers everywhere.  It looks real nice."

     As I got up, I realized I wasn't really in pain anywhere anymore.  The
sneezing had stopped and I felt a little less congested.  I figured it
wouldn't hurt to go outside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~

     The firecrackers were blazing outside.  The black sky was lit up with
pictures of red, green and orange.  The colors were brightening up the sky.
It was cold, but I didn't mind. The light spectacle was all worth it.  I
didn't know why, but I could hear music.  I didn't know if anyone else
heard it, but I began to imagine what the low words that went to the song
were.  I felt this warm feeling in my chest.

     It was the feeling you felt when you heard a love song after talking
to your boyfriend/girlfriend on the phone.  I had the feeling that you had
when you'd just come back from the best date you ever had.  That was the
feeling that filled me.

     The romance of the red lights made me feel something.  It was one of
the rare nights that love came alive.  It felt like springtime in winter.
It felt like Cupid had taken over the skies.

     I felt an arm on my shoulder.  It felt so strong, so manly as it
wrapped around my neck.  It had to be Sampson.  It had to be his strong arm
that made me feel so comfortable.

     I turned around to see Lamont.  Dammit

     "Those lights are freaking stunning," Lamont noticed.

     "Yeah."

     He didn't know how gorgeous they were.  There was something about
firecrackers that made me think.  Every July 4th, I got that same exact
feeling.  It felt as though beauty had been painted against the sky.  I
felt like someday I would be the firecracker.  I hoped that I would be
filled up with such a fiery passion that I would shoot up into the sky and
burst.  Was I wrong for feeling this way?

     "What you thinking about?"  Lamont asked.

     What was I thinking about?  What feeling could not escape my mouth?  I
wanted a superman.  I wanted love to break through again.  Was I flying?
No, he was taking me.  We were flying.  I didn't ask where were going. I
was just flowing.  Life began only after, I saw that firecracker Is it a
bird, is it a plane?  If rather then a building, he was on me in a single
leap, would it be the same?  I was making poetry like Lois Lane, while
flying, while smiling and while slowly dying His love was killing me
softly, hardly, scarred me through the heart of this boy that held me down.
Hold on, wait a minute, we are going to fast I wanted this moment here to
last .

"Nothing," I answered.

The firecrackers spread up across the entire sky and it mixed with the
stars.  I couldn't see who was causing the firecrackers, but I knew it was
close. I could feel my life being thrown up in the air with each
firecracker.

I looked over my shoulder and over the arm that Lamont had put over me.  In
the back I could see Sampson.  He was sitting there with Byron.  It seemed
as though they were in a world with no one else.  They were wrapped around
one another.  They couldn't see me.  They couldn't see the beautiful
crackers.  How could the world seem so little to those in love?  Why did
love cause people to forget everything but the person they were with.

"Its beautiful, it really is," Lamont added, looking at the lights.

A tear fell out of my eye.  I wanted that love that could not fail me or
desert me.  I wondered if another life I could have been someone in love.
Maybe this was why I wanted love so much.

I was corny though

Wasn't I?

Yeah.  I took Lamont's arm off of my shoulder.  I wiped the tear out of my
eye and turned my back on the firecrackers.  I went back to the cabin.  I
hated the feeling of romance that filled the air.  I walked inside and let
the warmth fill me.

~~~~~~~~~ /// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ /// ~~~~~~~~~ /// ~~~~~~~~~~~~`


     That entire night I was thinking.  I was asleep, but I was still deep
in thought.  I had fallen asleep way before Lamont and the others came back
into the room.  I was thinking emotionally.  It felt like someone should be
standing over my bed snapping or something.  It was this whole poetic
feeling that made me feel real wimpy.  I was dreaming and thinking that I
was standing in the middle of a room, but I didn't know where I was going.
I felt alone and lost.  Then all of a sudden, it started to rain.  Then
there was that song.  It was the same song that I had heard during the
firecrackers, but I didn't know the words.  They started to sound more and
more familiar.  I could suddenly hear the song "Rain On Me" being played
lowly.

     I woke up early that day.  I figured this was the best time if any to
go through with my plan before Ms.  Nicole definitely started getting an
attitude with me.

     I snuck out of my room and went into Sampson's room.  Sampson and
Byron were sleeping on different beds but both of them were shirtless.  I
walked over to Sampson's bed and slowly pressed on his shoulder.

     "Sampson," I said, whispering in his ear, "Wake up."

     He did get up and looked at me in my eyes.  He looked a little
irritated that I'd waken him up, but he didn't seem all that disappointed
when he noticed who I was.  His hands rubbed his eyes.  He was one of those
people that looked decent at any point of the day, even at night.

     "Hey," he said and turned to me, "What's wrong?"

     "Nothing," I whispered, even lower, "I am going to meet a friend of
mine.  I was figuring that maybe you can come with me."

     "What time is it?" he asked.

     "Its almost 8 am," I replied softly, "I want to leave soon."

     "Um, sure I'll go with you.  What about Byron and Lamont?"

     "We'll be back before they wake up."

     I grabbed him by the hand and we slowly went to get ready in the
common area of the cabin.  I realized how terrible I looked.  My eyes were
red and so was my nose.  My lips had been chapped from all the cold and no
matter how much moisturizer I put on them they still dried quickly.
Sampson was another story.  He wore a nice little sweater that made his
skin tone stick out a lot.  He dressed quickly and flashed a smile almost
as though topping off his sexy look.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Sampson drove but I kept asking for directions.  I knew the house was
called the McAllen Mansion or something like that.  I wasn't exactly sure
where, but I knew it was located on the resort somewhere.  Everyone that we
asked was familiar with the place, but it seemed like everyone had
different ways of getting there.

     We drove slowly until we finally made it there.  The house was located
just on a slope.  It was indeed a mansion.  There was a gate all around it
that kept it isolated from the rest of the resort.  There were statues in
the large front terrace that were topped off with snow.  The house had
lights on from the inside, but it seemed to be kind of empty.

I led Sampson to the gate, where a guy was standing.  I was surprised to
see the guy because I was almost sure no one was out on the terrace.  The
man was dressed in a white vest and slacks that were rolled up to his
ankles.  He reminded me of someone who tried to look quite professional,
but seemed to fail every single time.

     "Sir," the man said and opened the gate for us to walk in, "We were
expecting the both of you."

     He didn't wait to shake our hand or try to get some kind of
introduction.  He immediately started to lead us to up the long drive way
to the main mansion.  I kept a distance from him because he smelled like
he'd overused some kind of cologne.  It was just terrible.

     Sampson tapped me and whispered, "Who did you say your friend was
again?"

     "I didn't say "

     Truth was I didn't know exactly what to expect.  I grabbed Sampson by
the hand and led him towards the house.  I figured it was probably one of
the only times I would actually get to hold his hand without being under
suspicion from Byron.  I just wanted to hold his hand.  In Brunswick it
would look strange as hell to be holding hands, but we were out on a cold
mountain.  Holding hands was just another way to keep warm or so it seemed.

     We entered the mansion followed by this guy, who I guessed was the
butler.  The butler led us to the door and then pointed down the hallway.

     "The lady of the house is waiting right down there," he started to
explain sophisticatedly and then added, "Don't mess up the floor too. I
just swept it yo."

     I ignored him and didn't wipe my feet or anything.  The house was
nice.
  Right at the entrance there were these twirling steps like you saw in the
Princess and Prince movies.  The house was weirdly draped in these red
sheets.  I looked at Sampson.  He was definitely getting suspicious.

     "Syn, what is going on?" he asked, most likely realizing the expense
of this place.

     "It's a surprise," I said, really excited.

     I definitely wanted to surprise Sampson.  I went behind him and began
to push him down the marble floors.  The floors definitely were nice.
Everything was nice.  It seemed like too much space though and not enough
people.  I didn't understand why wealthy people needed so much space for no
required reason.

     We went down the hall and my smile brightened.  Sampson was smiling
too.  He usually smiled, but there was something about this smile.  It was
the kind of smile you put on when you were expecting something great to
happen, but just anticipating it impatiently.  As we walked down, we saw
that the hallway was transformed into a room.  It looked like a fucking
auditorium, but I guess it was the rich person's idea of a living room.

     She was standing there in the room.  She was Sampson's mother.

     Sampson's smile faded to jaw dropping reaction, "Mother?"

     "Sampson," her lips parted and sung her son's name.

     I looked at her.  I was stunned.  She was one of the most beautiful
women I'd seen in my life (except like on television or something).
Sampson's mother had these terribly white teeth.  It wasn't normal white.
I had normal white teeth.  Her teeth were so white that I was almost
blinded.  Her jaw was strong with dimples just like Sampson.  Also like
Sampson, she had these warm eyes that were also strong if they needed to
be. She resembled Sampson so much and her beauty was near flawless.

     It was so sweet. Finally they were reunited.  After years of not
seeing one another, they were reunited.  I felt as though maybe I really
was heading down the good path.  I'd been doing so many good things lately.

     That was before I saw Sampson's face.

     Sampson was pissed!

     "Why the hell did you bring me here!"  Sampson demanded of me.  He
hadn't worn that expression since when he used to argue with T-Boy.

     My face expression changed up too.  Who the hell was he yelling at?
Was this the reward I get for helping people?  I finally did something good
in my life and now that I'd done it, I was getting treated like shit!

     "Please, don't be angry with him," his mother said, "I asked Nicole to
find someone to conduct you here.  He was just trying to be of assistance."

     Sampson gave me a look.  He didn't say sorry and he didn't really
symbolize it, but I guess I read his stare as sorry.  I could have been
completely wrong however.  Sampson had turned and he went to the door
suddenly as though not wanting to even stay in the room anymore.

     "Syn, lets go," he demanded, "I don't want to be here."

     "I don't get it," I explained.

     I really didn't get it.  Why the hell was Sampson so mad?  His mother
was there.  I had given him his long lost mother.  What kind of child
didn't want to have a chance to see them?  We'd driven all this way someone
was going to say something to me!

     "Please," his mother explained, "Sampson stay here.  I will explain
things to your friend.  Please, just stay for a little while."

     She sounded so nice.  I didn't get why he was so angry.

     "Syn, you don't know what is going on," Sampson said.

     "No really? You never tell me anything about you," I explained and
crossed my arms, "You tell Shane things about you.  You tell Byron.  You go
out of your way to hide things from me.  Why me?"

     I didn't get it.  It had been getting on my nerves for the longest
time.  It felt like everyone knew the true Sampson was except me.  All the
secrets from his past were in front of me, but he kept hiding them as
though wanting everyone to know about it except me.

     "Sampson is angry," his mother finally said, "He is angry that I gave
him and his brother Holden up for adoption."

     "Maybe it was for the best," I told Sampson, trying to help out as
best as I knew I could, "Financially maybe she couldn't take care of you."

     She was rich now.  I looked at her evening gown.  I couldn't believe
she walked around the house in it.  It looked like it was worth real money.
It definitely wasn't some T.J Maxx joint.  She also had a bracelet with
diamonds and a necklace that looked like she robbed the Hiltons.

     "It wasn't financial!"  Sampson said and turned, "Tell him why you
REALLY put Holden and I up for adoption Veronica!"

     I snickered a little bit that Sampson was screaming at his mother like
that and calling her by her real name.  It was funny because Sampson's
mother or Veronica looked more like Sampson's sister.  I figured that maybe
he should be calling her that because of how goddam young she looked.

     Veronica crossed her arms, looking a little dramatic, "This is a new
day, Sampson."

     "No.  You wanted to explain things to my friend," Sampson shouted
across the room, "So tell him why you abandoned us!"

     Sampson was very sensitive.  He seemed to be carrying a lot of
apprehension for this woman.  It seemed to take a lot to make Sampson
really get mad at someone.  I knew this woman must have outdone T-Boy,
because Sampson was flaming with a furious anger.  It reminded me of when I
used to scream at my parents.

     "I didn't abandon you and Holden," Veronica corrected, "I gave you to
Nicole, who I trusted, for adoption."

     "Bullshit!" Sampson said and turned to me, "Syn, if you want to know
why, I'll tell you.  She found out that I was bisexual and Holden was gay.
She kicked us out because of it!"

     "What!"  I asked him, not understanding well and then turned to
Veronica, "What?"

     Veronica was grabbed her necklace and stared in the distance while
speaking, "Sampson and Holden were gay. I cannot have gay people around me.
They are disgusting.  The thought that my sons could be so weak were
unbearable.  Masculine one moment and all faggoty the next."

     "You put your sons out for adoption because they were gay?" I asked,
yet again.

     The world was full of filthy and sordid individuals.  It seemed
sometimes that even these individuals made family an exception to their
evilness.  That was why it was so hard to believe this woman had abandoned
her children because of her prejudice.

     "You don't understand," Veronica continued to explain, "I was scared
one of them would get AIDS and spread it.  Their father died young.  I
didn't know how to deal with confused male children.  Nicole was a happy
person.  She knew how to deal with little boys.  I sent them to her."

     I was ready to leave too.  Veronica sent them to Nicole!  What kind of
mind did Veronica have?  Nicole had one interest and that was money.  She
was never interested in raising two boys to become men!

     "Stupidity," I said, coldly.

     "Excuse me?" Veronica asked, in an uptight, socialite manner.

     "You heard him, Veronica," Sampson spoke for me, "It was stupid.  Why
the fuck am I even here?  Why do you want to see me?"

     "I want to help you out, financially," Veronica explained, "Maybe I
can make up for the mistakes I made.  Look around Sampson I'm rich."

     She definitely was rich.  She looked like she had everything she
needed.  Sampson was a little weary of the whole situation and so was I.
If she abandoned Holden (for such a horrible reason), then why would Holden
come back and give her money?  I wasn't getting this.

     Still I knew this was my one chance to finally prove to Sampson that
Holden was really alive.  I'd avoided it because I knew it would hurt his
feelings to think about his brother.  Now I could finally prove it.

     I quickly said, "Holden made you rich didn't he?"

     Sampson turned back to me, "Syn! Listen to English! Holden is dead! I
told you I hate talking about it!"

     Sampson was crying.  It seemed as though as soon as I said Holden's
name, tears sprouted out of his eyes.  I knew him and Holden definitely had
to be close.  I just knew they were close.  I could tell from the way he
said Holden's name.  I hated having to bring Holden up, but the proof was
here.  Holden's money had bought this home.  Holden's money was what was
supporting Sampson's mother.

     "Tell him?" I asked Veronica, "You know Holden was the one who made
you rich!  Lets just put everything out in the open so I stop looking like
a dumb ass."

     There was a pause.  Why wouldn't she just say it?

     "No," Veronica answered, "Holden is dead."

     WHAT!  What the hell was wrong with her?  I had seen Holden!  I had
heard Holden's name explained! I had drawn out what happened the night at
the dinner party over and over!  Holden was not dead!  Holden was alive and
Holden was leader of the Syndicate.

     "I saw him!" I shouted, defensively, "I saw Holden! It was a dinner
hosted by the Syndicate."

     "No," Veronica explained, "You saw Zion."

     "So it was him!  He's the one!"  Sampson suddenly shouted and walked
over to the couch, sitting down as though about to go through some kind of
panic attack.

     I rolled my eyes.  I was so frustrated that they weren't hearing me.
I didn't know Zion.  I couldn't care any less about Zion. I knew what I
saw.  I knew that it was Holden that was at that dinner party.  It wasn't
any Zion.

     "Fuck this bullshit," I said waving my hands in the air as though
giving up, "I feel like I'm in the twilight zone.  I saw Sampson at the
dinner party, but Sampson wasn't there.  I had the wrong twin."

     "I didn't have twins," Veronica assured me, weirdly, "I think that may
be your problem."

     "Yes you did have twins!" I argued.

     What the fuck was wrong with her!  What the fuck was wrong with
Sampson!  There damn sure wasn't anything wrong with me!  I knew what the
fuck was going on!

     "No you're wrong."

     I stared at her as though she had three heads, "What "

     "Holden wasn't at the dinner party," Veronica continued, "It was
someone else impersonating Holden.  Holden had best history in our family.
He made good grades in his younger years.  He was recognized as one of the
hardest working students.  The Syndicate was looking for something like
that.  I figured, we would fill Holden's shoes when Holden died."

     "Fill his shoes?  I don't get it."

     "Holden is dead.  Zion was who you saw at the dinner party," Veronica
established, slowly so I would understand, "I didn't have twins I had
triplets."